Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Marrying Yourself with Tiffany Haddish

Episode Date: July 30, 2026

Tiffany Haddish is here to discuss how dating cops led her to developing discernment, why she once shat in her ex’s shoes, and gives a play-by-play of the Netflix doc Maternal Instinct. Then: A single woman struggles to find a man who’s both interesting and interested.  A surprise pregnancy signals the end of a relationship.  And a divorcee isn’t sure how to fill her life now the chaos is gone.   * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all?

And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability.

Bell. Connection is everything. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by.

The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it.

Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and Mighty Tour. In August, you can find me in Red Bank, New Jersey,

Montclair, New Jersey, and Calgary. That's Canada. In September, I will be in Santa Barbara. San Diego, New York City, Philly, and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise, Idaho, and Spokane. And then in November, I'll be in San Francisco. I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston, Dallas, babies. I'll be there. And then in December, I am closing out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So get your tickets It's at chelseahandler.com for the High and Mighty Tour.

Hi, Catherine. Hi, Chelsea. How is the handsome Spaniard situation over there? Oh, I don't know. I'm so focused on my studies. You know that I'm not even looking at men. You know me. When I have one focus of attention, it is to learn more.

The consummate student. Estoy aqui para aprender. Muy bien. No me interesa en los hombres. Hasta mañana Until tomorrow that is Where I'm actually being set up with a man So we'll see how that goes

Nice We'll check back next week Well I'm going for a little aperitivo How was your ¿Cómo te fue el vacación? Muy bien, muy lindo Estábamos en la piscina todo el tiempo We were just floating in the pool

The entire time And did almost nothing It was really lovely ¿Dónde fuiste? Playa Mujeres, cerca de Cancun. So it was Playa Mujeres near Cancun. And it was really lovely. Was it hot?

You know what? I was worried it was going to be, like, muggy and crazy, but it actually was quite comfortable. Like, during the day, you definitely wanted to be, like, in the pool, in the water. But, yeah, the evenings were, like, fine, and it was really delightful. Yeah.

That's nice. That's nice. It was just, like, full relaxation. Yeah. Yeah. I have to say, Madrid is one of the most special cities I've ever spent time in. I've been here for now for two weeks, almost. I've been going to school every day like a good little girl.

I have people in my class. It's very cute. I go from 9.30 to 1 p.m. And then I go and I take myself to some ridiculous meal where I drink white wine and eat the freshest fish. They fly the fresh fish into Madrid every day. There's fires everywhere, unfortunately. Yeah, what's the deal? What's going on with that?

I don't know. There's fires everywhere in Europe, but this air is pretty bad. It's like you can feel it when you're walking around. But I'm just enjoying my life like Eloise at the Plaza. I'm staying at a really beautiful hotel. I already have set up like all these doctors close to me. I get my back cracked. I get dry needling.

I'm like, I'm just living my best life until I have to come home. and um yeah it's pretty exciting i'll see everybody in montclair or no red bank red bank is sold out montclair and then i have calgary on the 13th of august i believe or the 14th or the 15th it could be any one of those days yeah it's one of those days yeah go to chelseahandler.com to find out yeah i'm coming back on tour i'm back and i'm on track this has been my the reprieve my respite i can tell you're rested yeah i can tell you're rested and restored I've been sleeping a lot. Good.

That's excellent. Our guest was so fun this week. Oh, yeah. She's one of my favorites. She's been one of my favorite friends for so many years. And I think she's coming to my house in Mallorca next month. So that's going to be really fun because I don't think we've ever vacationed together. But she is a comic.

She's an actress. And she's a star of the upcoming Haunted Heist, which is in theaters now. Please welcome Tiffany Haddish. Oh, I look cute. That reminds me of Yerba Mitzvah. Mine was at the Esa Lesto. Yerba Mitzvah. Mine was totally perfect.

It was really cute. That was a party that I'm glad I really didn't miss. I'm glad you didn't miss it either because that was the best party ever. It was. It was a great party. Who did I sit with? Billy Crystal. Yes.

Billy Crystal and his wife. Yes. And they were so proud of you. It was like they were your parents. It was so sweet. That's my auntie and uncle. Who did I go to that? Who did I go to your party with?

Sarah. Sarah Silverman. Yes. Yeah, it was a Jew parade. You're a bunch of Jews parading around. I was in bat mitzvah. It's supposed to be a bunch of Jews. I know.

And a bunch of black people, too. It was the perfect thing. It felt like civil rights. Oh. You're here to promote your new movie, which is called Haunted Heist. It's on video on demand. First of all, I was watching a bunch of your stuff in the last couple weeks. You like a fucking murder mystery, don't you?

I do! You love that shit. You were a detective like three different times. I was like, I love, I wanted to be the police. You know, I slept with so many. So many police officers? Yeah, and I want to be the police. I do love her.

Have you slept with a lot of police officers? I have. How many do you think? Probably four. Really? Yeah. I don't think that I've ever slept with a police officer. Was that to get out of something?

No, no. To get into something. Well, to get something out of it. And one of them turned into a judge. Went from police, lawyer, judge. And did you ever get something out of it from them? Nah. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

I got some life lessons. And I picked up some character traits. And I'm able to, like, I picked up discernment. That's right. I've also picked up discernment. And later, in my later years, I didn't get discernment until a couple of, like, years ago. Right. It's pretty recent.

Right, same here. And it's kind of shocking when you do achieve discernment, you're kind of like, wow, I was really fucking stupid before. The stupidest. And no one would ever look at me or you and think that we are easily taken advantage of. But I have been taken advantage of by friends, by lovers, by so many people. And not that I'm a victim. I'm not saying that. But just like you would think I would be smarter than that.

And I'm not. Yeah, well, I am a victim. I am a victim. And the victim side of me has taken all that energy and mutated it into something good. I know. Well, things are going really well for you now. They're going okay. No, they're going well.

They're going okay. They're going well. All right. I'm going to say they're going well. You're right. We're going to invite in the positivity. Yeah, well, you know, the door is wide open for all positivity. I'm like this for the positivity.

And I'm bending over shitting on the negative. we you started off this year with your sports illustrated cover which was badass thank you and you were so excited and tiffany with full disclosure was one of my first dinner guests at my house when i had to christen it with good vibes nice tiffany my friend sarah my friend jane jane fonda was here and then yamanika was here but she was in a real fucking funk that night so luckily we were like get the fuck out of here she came downstairs to meet jane fond and she had a migraine and she didn't even acknowledge jane she sits down and she's just like looks up and jane's like hello and uh so that was ridiculous someone had to bring the bad vibes but yeah you

so you helped chris in my new house and put it in the good vibes good but i want to talk about your sports illustrated because i know you were so proud of that and i was so proud of it when you told me i was like wow and then i saw it all the time like you guys did a runway show So do they make you do all of this stuff when you're on the cover? They don't make you do it, but they definitely would like for you to do everything. And there was so much more.

I didn't do everything that they wanted because everything comes with a big check. I'm Tiffany motherfucking Haddish. Tiffany likes to get paid for everything. Yeah, yeah. I do want to be paid. I want to be compensated. No exploitation without compensation.

That is something that I picked up through discernment. discernment well we both did a charity event the other night for Jane and we didn't get paid for that unless you had a side hustle going no no we did not get paid for that but I feel like there was compensation in that because we get the the friendship of Jane Fonda yeah and that is very valuable like I mean she changed the light switches in my house so that I could have dimmers she did yes after we went over that night yes she said it's too bright in here you need dimmers and she sent a very sexy electrician over and he came through and he changed my switches wow jade is amazing not me thinking you meant like she's in there with the screwdriver no no but she sent the

very hands it's just amazing that's what real friends do i know i know she it's amazing to me how much shit she gets done every single day like she is tireless i've never seen anybody like that I think she stares at the wall. Have you heard this thing? It's new to me, but it's probably as old as time. But when you take a break, like actually take a break. Like don't do anything. Don't pick up your phone.

Don't look at pictures or nothing. Just stare at the wall or just stare at a tree. But just stare at something for like 10 to 20 minutes. Like empty your brain out. Just stare at something. And then start again? And then start again. Yeah.

That's like meditation. Like a meditation almost. Yeah. And I think she does that. Because I feel like she does it in the middle of conversations sometimes. I feel like I'm telling her a story and she's like. I've seen, I've definitely seen her look at you like that for sure. Okay.

So you got married to your, you got married this year. To myself. Yeah. Last year. Was it the year before? I don't know. I mean, it's your anniversary. Two year anniversary is coming up.

It's an, it's an August. How did you decide to do that? Well, I just was really realizing like, okay, so everybody's like, Tiffany, who are you with? Who are you with? Who are you dating? and that kind of bothered me I don't like that because I remember before fame nobody cared who I was dating I could be whatever kind of whore I wanted to be and nobody thought about it nobody

asked questions about it and then I started like I'm dating these different guys and like they all want to be with me so bad but then I'm not wanting them like that and then they're not like really serving me and then I'm like how can I expect them to make me happy if I don't know exactly what makes me happy and how am I going to make a real commitment if I'm not making any commit I've never made a commitment to myself except like to fulfill my dreams but nothing like for like let me take care of you let me love on you like I've never really committed like that except for I guess when I got married for real life to a man and then I had to foreclose on him that didn't work out that did not work out no it didn't no but I learned but

discernment came with that lesson so how did you celebrate your wedding to yourself so so basically I invited my best friends and we went to Africa and I had a ceremony and married me. And then we danced a little bit, ate some food. And now every year on my anniversary, I take me to like the Bel Air Hotel or I take me somewhere nice that has a jacuzzi. And I basically buy me flowers and I do all this nice stuff for me that I would want my man to do for me. And I made a manual basically. And I'm about to, I think I kind of want to publish it, but then I think that might be too much, but I'm going to give it to the guy that I think is the guy and be like, this is all the stuff you got to do to just make me happy. This is how you win me over. This is how you can, you

know, get whatever you want out of me. This is how you win. You know, what's really annoying is when you tell people directly what you want, especially men that you're dating, if you tell them directly what you want and they don't follow that, like you're like, that's why I put it in a manual with sketches and stuff. And then like Ikea. And if you can't do this, then we wasn't supposed to be together. You can't put this together. Yeah, exactly. It's like, listen, if we're telling you we're self-empowered, that means we need that in order to stay with you. So if you're not following the manual, then you're not going to get to stay with us. This is a very frustrating thing. Being direct is like, sometimes you think, I want to ask you a question. I know you've had a

lot of breakups. I just went off on somebody earlier today. On the way here. That might be why I came so early. First of all, I've never seen you early in your life, so it was quite shocking and destabilized my last interview.

Wait, wait, wait. I'm always early if I think it's work. If it's work, I will show up early. This is true, yes. Yes, yes. It's social that you're

running behind. I get there when I get there, bitch. We hanging out. What did you do? What happened today? So this guy that I've been talking to that lives in New York,

we've been talking for a while and we ended up hooking up and I didn't enjoy it. I didn't enjoy it. I just didn't. and but I like him as a person but then just the more he would talk to me the more I just don't want to talk you know like once you have sex with somebody and if it's bad or it's not necessarily bad it's just not good enough for me it's just like yeah I don't want

to I don't want to be bothered yeah I don't want to be bothered and that might be this sex happened like two years ago it hasn't happened since but I still be like entertaining the conversation and so I'm like look I can't keep entertaining this no more like I'm not into you I'll never be into you you ain't seen me naked in a long ass time i don't want to see you naked like and he's a beautiful man but just don't don't don't be putting your hopes on me i hope you got other girls you're talking to this is the difference between women and men is that we will i will put out a flame on behalf of the other person like what you're saying is you're like i don't want to give you any false hope right whereas men want to keep women lingering around so they don't

definitively tell you when they're not interested whereas we're not trying to waste anybody's time I don't want to break your heart if you're into this and I'm not into this I want to just cut you loose and be respectful of another person right it'd be nice if everyone behaved that way cause it's like well to me I think they

do this case this one that I really want to be with don't want to give me no ass today maybe this one that I kind of like which is cool I get it I have dudes that are online for that you know that's just like you know if I need some I'll give you a call but It's not like, I don't want to be your thing.

I don't want to be your main person. What is the lowest thing that you've ever done during a breakup? The lowest thing? Do you have any regrets about the way you've handled a breakup? Nah. Really? I mean, I've shitted in shoes, but I don't regret shitting in them shoes. I have made sex videos, made copies of the dude's sex tape that he had with the bitch that he was cheating on me with.

I didn't regret that at all. you got videos of the affair yeah how did you do that um he had he's stupid he was stupid he he he was dumb as fuck so okay so he was trying to film me he wanted to film me and him having sex this is we're 21 years old he wanted to film us having sex together and I was like no no I don't want to do that and then one day I this is like a few days after my birthday I wanted to film it I'm like let's film it okay let's do this I've been thinking about it yeah you know we only going to be young for so long. We need to capture our bodies the way they are now. And I say, so good. Yeah, this is going to be great. And I grabbed the camera and I start to push record.

When I grabbed the camera and it was on top of the TV, he yanks the camera from me, scratches my face. I still got a scratch on his cheek from it. And he takes the tape out, goes outside in the rain, throws the tape in the dumpster. So I'm like, what the hell is on that tape? Right? So I play dumb or whatever. We start making out. I'm like, oh, my stomach's making weird noise. Let me go to the bathroom real quick. I go to the bathroom. I wait like 20 minutes in the bathroom, just staring at the wall, deciding how I'm going to murder this motherfucker. And then I was like, okay, I can't make, I'm not going to commit murder. I got a lot of life to live. I don't want to do that. But I'm going to go in that dumpster. So I tell him I'm sick. I'm really sick. I cannot do

this. I got to go home. And I get in my car and I drive about three blocks away, come back around, park about a half a block away from his place, walk down, go down into the garage area where the dumpsters are, and I get the dumpster diamond. It's raining, too. It's nasty. It's outside the dumpster. Yeah, and it's raining, and it's raining. And I'm out there. I find the tape, okay? I needed one of those adaptive VHS tapes to see what was on there because it's a little high eight. So I drove around till three o'clock in the morning to every drugstore, Walmart, I mean everywhere, Kmart, Target, I was driving everywhere CVS, I don't even think CVS

existed then, I think it was Savon's and Walgreens, girl, I was driving around trying to find that damn adapter and then I remember that my homegirl Anna, Anna had the same video camera that he had, I had to start going into my memory like who do I know that got cameras

who do I know, like literally when I tell you I was sitting in my Geo Metro trying to manifest the thoughts, trying to find the knowledge And then I was like, ooh, Anna, Anna has the same Sony camera. So I called Anna at like 5 in the morning, and I said, Anna, I will bring you whatever alcohol beverage you want, whatever weed, tobacco, whatever you need, I will bring it to you right now if you let me borrow your camera for a couple of days. And she said, what do you need it for?

I said, girl, I got this acting project I'm trying to put together. And she said, okay, yeah, just bring me like a six-pack and some cigs. I said, all right, bet. What brand you want? Got her the brand. Got her the sis. I even got her some black and miles. And I got her a fifth of weed.

I was not playing, okay? And I brought all that. And she gave me the camera. And I went home. I was home probably about 7 in the morning. I plug up the camera. I put the tape in there. I rewind it all the way to the beginning before I push play.

And I push play. And then I hear me going, oh, come on. Let's make a movie. We making this movie. we gonna be so sexy our bodies gonna look so you know this and then it cuts to it cuts to him saying no that's not how tiffany do it when you do it you got to do it like this this is how tiffany do it and like he's telling her he's basically teaching this bitch all my moves and then they're like and then it's it's dark it's dark and then all of a sudden the picture

comes up and he's blowing this girl's back out and he ain't got no condom on and i watched it probably 50 times I was so hurt and I I wanted I wanted to I wanted to destroy this man's soul because it was it was killing my soul it was like oh it hurt so bad so I went ahead and um went down to the swap meet and uh and I had got that movie Charlie's Angels on bootleg and I was like I'm gonna watch this it's gonna make me feel better right so I was watching that And then he called me and was like, what's up? How are you feeling? Are you feeling better?

I was like, no, I'm still sick. But the more sick I get, the more I just think I don't think we should be together no more. I won't break up with you. I told him I won't break up with him. He told me, I'm crazy. You tripping. He come banging on my door. I don't answer the door.

And then he leaves. He leaves like flowers and stuff at the door. Like, you need to stop tripping. And then his mama called me. His aunties called me. His grandmama called me. They all tell me I'm crazy. I got a mental problem.

How could you break up with him? This man loves you. He'll do anything for you. And I'm like, that's bullshit. That's bullshit. But, you know, I still want to honor him, you know. But they kept on pressing me, kept pressing me. And it was pissing me off how they was pumping this man up.

And I started looking at my— Did you tell them the truth? Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. I just said— I like this.

I like when women aren't reactive and they hold on to their evidence and then decide when they're going to. I just said to him, you need to talk because his sister warned me. His sister two months before told me, you know, my brother cheating on you. You know, my brother be sleeping with the neighbor girl. Like every time you leave from over here or when my mama go to work, he be with the neighbor girl. This little Jamaican girl. So, you know, he don't, you know, he be cheating. And his sister was like eight.

And I'm like, this little girl lying. This little girl just don't want me to be with her brother or whatever. but then I just start thinking about it like man she's always attached to me she's like she the girl always wants to play with me laugh with me like I don't think she they'll start being like she might not be lying so then I ask him and he's like she's making that up I don't know where she get that from so and I want to believe him I'm 21 I'm stupid fully done so whatever he say I believe but after I saw that video yes so then I got so mad I got so mad and I got so in my head And I had my homegirl come over and watch with me.

I said, what you think I should do? I think I'm going to destroy this man. She was like, did you break up with him? I said, yeah, we broke up. And I'm like, his family keep harassing me. But it's really bothering me. I just really want to destroy him. Like, I feel like he's destroyed me.

And she said, do what you think is right. And he had left some shoes at my house. So I doodled in those shoes. I ate corn. I doodled in them. But before that, I went ahead and got a bunch of blank VHS tapes. This is the early 2000s, by the way. And I took that Charlie's Angels movie, and right in the middle of the Charlie's Angels movie, I put his sex tape.

And I made enough copies for every single family member that called me and told me, this man love you. And for Christmas, I sent it to every single one of those family members. And did you tell them it was imperative to watch the movie? because what if they weren't interested in Charlie's Angels? No. No, I did not say it was imperative to twist it. Either they watch it or they don't watch it. And right in there, I put Korn's Angel.

His name was Cornelius. His name was Cornelius? Well, you missed that part. That's an important part of the story for you eating corn and then taking a Shadoobie in his shoes. This is a strong play. Yeah. Very strong move.

This is another level of breaking up. Actually, I wrote about that in my book, and I named him Titus in the book. So his name is Titus, middle name Cornelius. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all?

And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up

without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.

This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters pop culture obsessives and anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse i'm eli rallo and every week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and the conversations everyone can't stop having i'm gonna have to look up this story i'm obsessed i'm obsessed from best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments nothing is off the table it's Like, if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place.

Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like,

you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Have you had nice breakups with men? Yeah, pretty much most of my breakups have been pretty nice. That's nice. But they all turn into a little bit of a stalker for a little bit. For a little bit. And then they get over it. Yeah, men can be like that. And I could too.

I might have been a little bit of a stalker myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like once or twice. I went through a phase like that. Once Tiffany and I, this is a story. Tiffany and I, I don't remember where we were. what we were doing but we were backstage we were doing something and she was like i remember you were like come over here and you were talking about we're talking about how much like we pay

for other people and family members and stuff like that and she's like i need you to come over here and look at my bank account balance and she's like does this seem right to you and i remember being like no this does not seem right for the amount that you are working this it's not the right balance and I was like something has got to change oh that was that's because I really admire you and I feel like you should not like you can see my career better than I could see my career yeah and I'm like you tell me what you think this if this is right because I feel like this is wrong yeah it was maybe and maybe I'm crazy maybe I'm just oh thinking too highly of myself or maybe I'm just going extending myself too much and so I was like can you tell me

if this is right and you looked at the numbers and you said nah bitch this is wrong you were doing your game show you were doing your game show she was working like fucking five shows a day till filming like yeah and i was like there no no we all need i know well women especially need an education in finance we just do it's like it was so important for us to talk about that though like and i think women we don't talk about that with each other men do and they're like, yeah, man, I'm getting paid this. So then they know what to go ask for. But we don't do that. So in that moment, that's when I decided I'm going to start asking my friends that I think is successful. And I know it's doing well from my point of view, what they see in this, because

maybe I'm tripping. And so, and you've been so good with that. Oh, thank you. With that, you definitely like, no, bitch, you broke right now. That's not, that's not okay. We need to make some phone calls. Somebody is stealing from you. It seems like you've repositioned yourself. you have different management you have different people around it seems like everything is moving in the right direction it is it is i noticed i noticed okay we're gonna take some callers are you ready to give some advice yes i'm good at it but i know i know i got discernment i know since you got discernment this one is really juicy so oh we love you let's go i love good yes d says dear chelsea i started dating my boyfriend about four months ago before we slept

together for the first time we had a conversation about contraception and i explained to him that i wasn't on birth control because my body doesn't react well to it he said that it was no issue at all because he'd had a vasectomy he already had two kids from his previous marriage and doesn't want any more so he said he'd made the decision to get snipped or so i thought oh this is like that fucking documentary on netflix the maternal instinct woman oh my god did you see it i was like the fuck can you believe first of all let's just let's break to stop down for a second because we need to discuss that maternal instinct I haven't seen it yet oh it's good okay oh it's good I couldn't take my eyes off of you the level of white trash in this country and I listen I don't

use that term loosely but the level of miseducation like this guy couldn't even string the sentence together he couldn't even put the right tenses together what's he what's what's the premise Okay. Sorry. Sorry. I'm too upset about the grammar. I just couldn't believe the dumb assness of these people. It's like, no wonder we have fucking Trump in office when people like this are just wandering around our country. So the premise is, do you want to take it? woman, two kids already meets handsome, cowboy type dude. Not that handsome. I was DTF. Anyways,

she wants to lock him in. Now, she's had atopic pregnancies before and had her tubes removed. Tubal ligation. She removed the dead. They had to take the whole uterus. Hysterectomy.

She had a full hysterectomy. She dating this dude. She trying to trap him. OK, she tells him, OK, after a few months of dating, not even a whole year, that she's pregnant. OK, she starts pretending to be pregnant and her family is letting it slide. This woman done told a thousand lies. Her family is not saying nothing. She had a gender reveal, a baby shower. Oh, my God.

Nobody's in her family saying nothing because she got something over their head or whatever. A few people here and there saying something. His family is starting to get suspicious. Yeah, and the mama, the mama, his mama, calls up to the, or one of the friends, or a sister, somebody in his family, calls the doctor's office, because it's a small town, right? The doctor's office see her posting stuff on Facebook, talking about, baby on the way, all this stuff. Yeah, the doctor's office that gave her the hysterectomy.

And they're like, the fuck? No, she not having no baby. No way in hell she having a baby, right? And one of the family members call, and they're like, they can't, because of HIPAA, they can't say she had a hysterectomy but they're saying double check I would pay attention if I were you like they can't tell that this woman had a hysterectomy but and they can't say that she can't get pregnant because who knows God makes miracles but no right right so what she do with this this crazy bitch too she pretend like she pregnant she uh she just a big girl right but

then I guess she put a little fake belly on but how you hitting that sir how you have a This is what is so dumbassness. Yeah, and why you never see a foot pushing through the belly? Nothing like babies moving around. The level of dumbassness in this country is astonishing. I'm thinking she ate milk. Maybe she lactose intolerant. And you know how when you eat milk, you can feel that rumble?

She's like, feel my belly. Feel my belly. That's the baby. She had a fake pregnancy suit on that she ordered. But at some point, the husband or the boyfriend would see her naked or have sex with her or see her walking to the bathroom and be like, pig farmer dude he's a pig transporter so he ain't even if you ain't

a pig he don't know and he'd be like I didn't know she had been he'd be like I didn't know she'd been expected like the sentence structure was I couldn't even get past the language but people talk like this no he talked they talked

like he's like I don't know how in the hell she was out in the she said she's expected so we expected like it just sounds very slavish it's like Borderline slavery, like oversteer type. It's just bad. It's just bad grammar, bad everything.

And she basically went and befriended, this woman that she befriended, took pictures of this woman at her wedding and everything. She's a photographer, too. The woman's a photographer. The lying-ass bitch is a photographer, okay? Took pictures of her friend at the motherfucking wedding. At her friend's baby shower, at her friend's party. Go over to her friend, girl, let's have tea, let's whatever.

I'll come kick it with my friend and all the other friends. the friend is very pregnant and now she's 10 months and everybody's like hey you 14 days behind your due date what's up and everyone everyone has said like even the mother of the guy was like hey this we don't trust this woman we don't think she's pregnant we don't believe she's pregnant she passed her due date by like a month which is like are you an elephant that doesn't happen right right right and and and then so they were telling him and he's like and then and then this bitch go over to the homegirl house right when everybody gone to work and stuff and her baby in their sleep her daughter in their sleep this bitch come over

early in the morning kills her friend slices her baby out of her belly okay leaves her on the floor takes the baby starts driving erratically like she headed to the hospital because she done told her husband to her boyfriend to meet her at the hospital because she having a baby she had the baby in the car she pretended she had the baby in the car and so the baby still had the umbilical cord on but everyone had been kind of red alerted in this town the hospital and the police both because they knew that she was lying and everyone knew the story so when they got there they filmed everything and and she's like I mean talk about a dumbass she's like what like she and they're like well let's see your vagina and make sure you're okay basically you just deliver the baby

she's stupid she should have did that shit when she was on her period oh wait you don't have periods because you got a hysterectomy so she's like she didn't even got no blood you know when you bleak like you got a little blood on your pants a little blood on the back of the pajama bottoms or something you will be bleeding through there she came out of there with just a little bit of blood on her shirt from the bleeding baby she was holding right the woman survived no the woman did not survive the baby died so the lady she doing life in jail but i'm like she's so dumb she should have put that blood of the lady all between her legs or something like that

either way but it doesn't matter why are you taking somebody else's baby yeah that but also how do you think that plan you think that you're going to steal someone's baby from their belly take it out of their stomach and they're not going to find out they're not going to find a body

I just don't understand how stupid people are I guess you're just so crazy that it supersedes the stupidity she's mentally young us yeah but then it's like a permanent state of psychosis right all your friends your neighbors like everybody like they just let you keep talking that shit like even her mom and her mom and dad said they oh we don't deal with her at all she she's a pathological liar and we don't deal with

her at all what was really sad was after the husband or the boyfriend whatever he is the farmer the pig farmer he is he's like his warm you know what was the most touching part was how much his mother loved him and was like i just wish he had listened to me like i warned him i told him but he was getting angry at the people who were telling the truth as as as one does and and then he's been shunned and ostracized by the community and society because he was with her and so now this poor guy and you know who i liked in that documentary his best friend yeah he had some fucking soul he came and he was like you have to listen to me forget about all this gossip you have to listen to me man to man this woman is out she's not right something's wrong with her and he couldn't

listen to her because it's the power of the pussy even though he wasn't getting any pussy because if he was he would have known she wasn't fucking pregnant right but he probably don't know the difference between pregnant pussy and not pregnant pussy and she probably was really just slurping it up you know hobbing on a knob

and keeping him drunk every night and then she probably had gas and she's like look the baby's moving with gas bubbles and stuff then I probably gave her liberty to fart and burp like freely and stuff and he's just thinking oh she making my baby but really she's a nasty dirty okay anyway that was a slight sidebar just a tiny sidebar 15 minutes later that is making

this email sound very tame uh no okay go ahead we'll pick back up where we left off so you know she thought that he had he told her that he had had a vasectomy or so i thought i missed my period this month but still thought nothing of it and assumed it was due to stress or lack of sleep but when i still didn't get it weeks later i decided to take a pregnancy test well it was positive. I'm hurt and upset that he lied about something so serious. I'm not someone who wants to carry a child and have never wanted kids. Even though I adore his children, I still don't want one of my own. Because of this, I've decided to terminate the pregnancy. I'm trying to figure out how I should handle these feelings. Things haven't been going well for us and I've been wanting to

break things off anyway. But do I first tell him that I'm pregnant and demand an explanation on why he lied to me? Or do I go through this alone and keep it to myself? I feel incredibly betrayed and any advice you have on the situation would be greatly appreciated. What do you think? I'm an asshole. She wants to play a trick on him. Shit in his shoes.

I'm evil, I'm evil. No, I would tell him his vasectomy doesn't work and I would, if she wants to terminate the pregnancy, do the little pill or whatever. But absolutely don't fucking tell him anything until you get that abortion. He doesn't get to know because he's untrustworthy. To lie about something like that,

it's very deceptive and something's wrong with him. So get him out, get rid of him as quickly as possible. If you want to confront him after the fact, go ahead. But I mean, I know there's some self-satisfaction you think you're going to get by confronting people, but usually you're just going to get more lies. Yeah. And I think if you're already thinking about bringing up him anyway, this is like way, way, way red flag. No, this would be a reason to break up with someone if you weren't thinking about it. Even if you weren't, totally. Okay. Can vasectomies not work don't they like work all of the time or are there well it depends on how they did it now if they burnt the ends of the tubes then it should be done unless he didn't get out 80 nuts before

but he got the vasectomy years before he met right so the only other thing is if they tied it in a knot then a knot could come untied okay and then it could flow through there those are the only two ways that i know of yeah yeah i mean well yeah wow i didn't even think about that maybe it didn't work i mean maybe i would i would handle business and i would let them know that you might need to go back to the doctor yeah and get your stuff checked because you because as far as i'm concerned you're a liar or the doctor messed up the malpractice because that's that is not true yeah you have a vasectomy it's not true yeah all right d best of luck to you i would tell a lot of medical stuff i'm because i'm a doctor i know but i'm a doctor i'm a pharmacist you're a doctor

She's an MD and I'm a pharmacist. We should have our own doctor medical facility. We should open one up in Mallorca. We could do it. We could. Yeah, we could. All natural medicines. You diagnose them and then I prescribe them.

Yes. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish Episode 8 before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on Internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit.

Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable.

I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts see you between the pages hey this is hayes davenport and sean clements we host the podcast hollywood handbook on the big money players network our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners each week we talk to someone in show business aka the biz and try to

help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can you help me shape this yeah how about we flip it on his head right how about we flip the script okay what if the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that seems like if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride

fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like they're like oh it's so stupid everyone's so dumb except for you fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode but he's just so busy listen to hollywood handbook on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or

wherever you get your podcasts Well, our first caller today is Miles and Miles says, I was in a relationship for 15 years and when it ended, I felt like I lost everything. I lost my wife, my house, my family, and the future I thought I was going to have. Now I'm living on my own for the first time. I'm finding it hard to make new friends and honestly, the silence and loneliness can be overwhelming. One of the hardest parts is knowing my ex has already moved on and is in a new relationship while I'm still trying to figure out who I am on my own. How do I learn to be alone without feeling lonely? How do I build a new life when I feel like I'm starting from scratch? And how do I truly move on when the

person I thought I'd spend my life with has already moved on? Miles. Hi, Miles. Hello, hello. Hello, hello. This is our special guest today. Miss Tiffany Haddish is here. Hello. Oh, my God. Hi. I saw you recently in Sydney. You're amazing. Oh, I was there. Yes. But was this person you were with a bogan? A bogan? No.

Okay, good. Good, good, good. We're not all bogans. I know. I know you're not all bogans. I know that. I know. I know. I was just checking. Well, that sounds like you're going through a really difficult time. Yeah. It's been a lot. Yeah. It's been a lot. I'm reading this book. It's called This Is What Happens When Women Read. That's the name of the book. And it's about someone going through not your exact situation, but like a complete like breakdown of what she thought was her life and the end of one of,

you know, of a part of her life. And while that transition period, like what you're in right now is so scary and unknown and like you feel so destabilized, I can imagine. And this isn't what you expected from your life. This period of time is temporary. It's not permanent. And what you do with this time is going to, is going to matter for the rest of your life. Like how you build and rebuild your life from here is going to be really vital to how you go through the rest of your life. And it's a huge opportunity for intense growth and immense growth. Like you want to really just dive in to actually sitting alone and being alone with those feelings. Really? I know it doesn't sound desirable and it's not fun to be feeling this way, but the best way to get through

these things are, is to go straight through them and not to numb yourself with alcohol or drugs or any of that stuff or exercise or whatever. Like you want to do whatever you're doing, but you don't want to numb yourself to what you're dealing with because it's intensely painful. I understand. And, and you want to experience that pain because through that darkness, you will find your light. I promise you everyone goes through really dark periods in their lives some are more intense than others but you have a choice of how you handle it and how you come out the other side and as someone who's been divorced it felt like everything like that when yeah I felt like it was death death to the relationship in my mind kind of like he's dead to me like everything was like yeah it was

dark and what I did was I wallowed around in that shit for a little bit I ain't gonna lie to you I I wallowed around in it and I did get drunk and I did a lot of stupid stuff and I caused myself a lot of problems okay and then my grandma snatched me up and she said like baby girl baby girl how long you gonna be sad about this man that's probably not sad about you that's probably already moved on probably already doing somebody else like do things that you enjoy just start doing things that you enjoy and if you don't enjoy nothing pretend like you enjoy it so I got myself a little group on. I went to the little paint and sit classes. My girlfriends wanted to take me places, but they reminded me of him because we all hung out together. So I didn't want to

really be around them that much. I went to male strip clubs. I watched men dance and I threw money at them, $20. I never spent more than $20. And I yelled really crazy things at them. I objectified those men and that made me feel good. Now probably was wrong. Probably should have been nice to those young men but I was not I was let me see that dick swing motherfucker dance better bitch like I was yelling stuff like that and um it was a good time and then 11 months 11 months I didn't date anybody else and then I just like kind of like really started figuring out what do I want to do with my life what do I want to be I started getting I enrolled in acting classes I enrolled in a calligraphy class which was weird as hell because I have the worst handwriting it was still

but I failed that class uh but also took a voice vocal lessons a dialect lessons like um a speed reading class I just started taking classes any kind of class I went to the AMA the AMAX uh ACME uh you know they have the the speakers and the people that teach little things and then like I went to the community college for a little bit took a grooming dogs class like and I'll just meet people in these classes and then I would get on stage as much as possible because I'm a comedian. I would talk about my problems. And the jokes didn't make no sense, baby. It was bad. I was bombing, but it's okay. I was getting the stuff off my chest and I went to therapy. And after 11 months, then I started dating and I started like, it's like the fog finally cleared.

How long has it been for you? Well, it's been 12 months, but we live together. Oh, you gotta get out of here. Yeah, no, no, we're not anymore. So we had to live together. We have a five-year-old boy. So we had to sell our house. I moved out in March, bought my own place. So, you know, I focused on, you know, getting a promotion at work, making sure I bought my own place, sort of all the right things. And then it's, you know, now 12 months later, I've been living, you know, out on my own since March. And then all of a sudden, the craziness stops and, you know, all of the things that I wanted to achieve, I've done. And now it's just like emptiness. oh yeah now fill that up with something you always wanted to do crochet sewing maybe learn how to do hair maybe become a dental hygienist maybe you become a mechanic just pick up a little thing you know you in australia it's a gang of fine ass men out there i would be hanging out at the

little is it a woman or a man that you're with or you were with i was with a woman for 15 years yeah oh well try a man now see how that goes try try something different just see how it goes you might not like it you might be like you know what nope but if there's a gang of fine-ass men it's a gang of fine-ass women too so I would go enjoy I definitely have tried that I think listen first of all you have to be grateful for all of the things that you have like you're not going through this and having financial struggles you're not going through this and you're unhealthy or you're sick or your kid's sick or anything like that. Like you're feeling emptiness. That's a completely valid human emotion to feel and feel it. But because it's not going to last forever, I promise

you, you have to just feed your soul. You have to read books that are going to help you move on with your life. And what Tiffany is saying is great. I didn't know you did all that shit when you were going through your divorce. I mean, that's badass to fill yourself up. Like do something that you never thought you do. Take a sailing class or go take a pottery class or do something that appeals to you whatever that is but just start giving to yourself more than you're giving in it's okay to feel empty it's okay to feel lonely but you have to remember like even the good times aren't permanent so the bad times can't be permanent either or you could marry yourself we could have a wedding for you girl we could put this whole thing together Tiffany just married herself two

years ago she's coming up on her two-year anniversary I'm coming up on my two-year anniversary of August, girl. Congratulations. Yeah. I'll marry me. Do you have a big support system? Do you have a good support system? So obviously I have my family, but you know, we were together a long time and we built a friendship group together. I think when she ended it, I stepped away because I didn't want to say anything hurtful or mean when I was angry to, you know, mutual friends. So I'm slowly trying to get back into, you know, that friendship group that we had, but it's, it's still awkward for me. I do have, you know, three really close friends, which is enough. But now that I'm sort of living in back in the city in Sydney, you know, I want

to go out and meet new people, but it's, I feel like I'm not myself. It's just, it's awkward. I've never been alone. And then obviously, you know, in terms of support, I have my son half the time, which is incredible. But you're a new self. You're not yourself. You're not yourself anymore you're not that woman anymore that was married before you're a new person now so it's like yeah it's time to get to know you it's time to get to know what you're really into for 15 years you were always considerate of this other person and what they liked and what what can we do together now is what do I like and what can I do with me that other people would want to do with me too yeah I understand that you're like experiencing this is a great loss but like you

have to kind of flip the script on this because it's a new beginning in your life. And even though it's not one that you necessarily chose, you have it now. You have all this opportunity for a whole new life. And while that can be daunting, it's super fucking exciting also. So you just want to change the way that you're talking to yourself about this experience. This can be the beginning of something very positive. And I know that it is. Every breakup leads to some rebirth, a new experience for people. Like no one, I mean, it's very rare that you hold onto a breakup for years and years and years. So I think let go of the fact that it's been a year and let go of that time stamp in your head. It's not that pertinent. What you want to do is really a wake up and

write down five things that are going well for you in your life. Write down how much you love your son, that you're grateful for your job, that you're grateful you got a promotion, that you're financially secure and independent, that you have a beautiful house. Write down all of these things so you remind yourself of how lucky and fortunate you are. You're not sick. You're not broke. You're not, you know, you have friends. You have family.

You have wonderful things. You're just holding on to the pain. And in order to release the pain, you need to remind yourself of what's going well. Great advice. And don't be afraid to cry. Yeah. Don't, yeah.

Lean in. Cry till you laugh. Yeah. Yeah, because you will start laughing. Yeah. Crying is just a removal of old beliefs and a replacement of new ones. So create some new beliefs.

But just try to shake off that feeling of awkwardness when you feel that, like try to let it loose. Like just like let go of that. That's the old you. That's somebody who's holding onto the past. So every time you think of that, just think of that Taylor Swift song, Shake It Off. Just like literally shake your body and be like, no, that's not who I am anymore. You know what I mean? And move through your life with that energy and just start uplifting yourself because really this is all you can ever do is be your own best advocate you can't rely on other people to lift you up you have to do it yourself now are you trying to get back out there dating again or no not yet or what no no not yet I mean I have sort of gone out and met a few people but

um no I've just been trying to focus on my son make sure he's mentally okay yeah good focus on that if you decide you want to start dating other people let me know because i know a few millionaire bitches that's you know popping in australia i mean really i'm not saying don't send them my way there we go that's the spirit because they was hitting on me while i was out there that's the spirit that they were but treat yourself with love and compassion okay you are your best advocate and your happiness is important for your child's happiness. So you got to just wake up every day

and try and find the gratitude in where you are in this moment. And you're going to look back at this time in another year or two, I promise. And you're going to be like, wow, that was really tough. And I got through that like a fucking champ. Oh, you guys are incredible.

I feel so much better already. But promise me that you'll wake up and write down five things every day that you're grateful for. Absolutely. I do love journaling. So, okay, great. So yeah, do that every day

because that just sets you up for success for your day. And when you get off track and you get sad, do the same thing. Write it down again. Write down another five things. Just every time you start to feel like you're not on your right path and that like spirit of like shaking it off and lifting up,

then just remind yourself that you're healthy, you're strong, you're vibrant, you have a son, like things are going well. You're winning. Yeah. All right, Miles, let us know what you sign up for, what you start doing, what you start enjoying that you didn't think you would enjoy yeah let's see let's see i'm looking

forward to meeting those millionaire bitches though we'll send you a direct link to tiffany's website i got you girl i got you i'm affording them all your information i'm affording your information to the no you i'm gonna get you you know what i'm gonna just tell you where they be hanging out at it's so lovely to meet you guys i appreciate your time thanks miles thanks miles sending you lots of love thank you oh what a sweetie I it breaks my heart when people's hearts are broken I know and she's really only like three months out of the chaos part of it so it's interesting that she says like now it just feels like there's nothing because there is some like it's so stimulating to me in the chaos even though it's like bad yeah yeah it's interesting

it's like when you realize after a breakup there's that drama that comes with the breakup right and then when that goes away it's almost like well now there's no you know like even in the aftermath of the breakup there's a there's a possibility of reconciliation or there's drama attached that keeps the engine going I don't have that much drama after my breakups because I disappear yeah they had to like live together for like nine months yeah yeah that that would be that's messy yeah I disappear you know I'm a foster kid I know how to evacuate the premises quickly and never show up again. I know how to do that.

I hate that I do that. I hate that I do that, but I do that. Well, why do you hate that you do it? Because I know that the other person wants to say more and do more, but it's like there's nothing else that can be said. And I would love to be that ear for them to pour their little heart out into so they're not talking about me all over the world, but they're going to talk about me anyway, so just let it go.

Yeah, sometimes there's just too many conversations around the breakup. Right, and I don't even want to have them. When I broke up with a few people, I would say the last four relationships I had, I think they thought I was going to be like, why you don't want to, we can't work on this. I'm like, it seems like you want this to be over? Okay, cool. Okay, you go your way.

I'm going to go mine. I'm going to get my little duffel bag. Deuces. Bye. And they're like, wait, that's it? that's it we done bye

see you around I'm always smiling I always say hello when I see you yeah yeah actually you're right

I mean obviously you're right because it's your life but you aren't dramatic with breakups yeah it's much better when it's not dramatic

yeah yeah it's much more like it's better the men be mad because they be like you never really loved me

I'm like what do you mean you didn't fight for me I'm not fighting I'm not fighting for no man There's too many of y'all out here. I was looking up the definition, the difference between suppress and repress earlier.

Because I always get confused by those two words, which one is conscious. Suppress is consciously, when you consciously suppress it. And repress is unconscious. I just thought I'd throw that out there. In relation to what? I don't know. I repressed these emotions for you.

In relation to therapy and breakups. behind every night spent making the kids lunches there's a lot of suspense will they finally eat the veggies will the pesto survive the first bite will the lunchbox come home empty half full or come home at all and will you finish episode 8 before you're done slicing the cucumbers get bell pure fiber internet with crave netflix and disney plus from 94 a month price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything.

When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt

he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them they're stories about what it takes to make it out alive Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.

I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place.

Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz,

and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this? How about we flip it on its head, right? How about we flip the script, okay? What if the surprise woman, who actually you think is the straight man, is actually the one who's acting weird?

Adam Scott. this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that it seems like if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity yeah ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this

everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode but he's just so busy listen to hollywood handbook on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts well our next question comes from olivia and she says dear chelsea i never pictured myself writing into a podcast for advice on how to navigate men in the dating world but here we are i'm turning 35 in may and i have been seriously single for about six years. I have a good job, hobbies like camping and film photography, a dog,

solid friendships, and a wonderful relationship with my family. I have my own radio show once a week on one of the local community stations here where I play tunes and chat music. I feel I have a lot to offer in a partnership, and that's exactly what I'm seeking, a partner. I moved out to California on my own four years ago, and now I want someone to explore with. I'm on several dating apps, have been for a long time, and also try my hardest to put myself out there in the wild, but it seems whether via an app or in person, there's no follow through from the guys and they just seem lackluster about dating in general. Yeah. If and when I get a match, there is barely any follow through from them about wanting to get to know me or meet in

person. It's beyond discouraging. I'm almost to the point where I've decided that my life might be better off without a man. I've enjoyed a lot of these last six years with just my dog. We have a peaceful existence and do as we please. Deep down, as much as I tell myself it doesn't matter, in the end, I want a partner. How do I keep putting in the effort when it feels totally unreciprocated by the opposite sex, Olivia. Hi, Olivia. Hello. This is Tiffany Haddish, our special guest. Hey, girl. Hey. Hi, Tiffany Haddish. Hi. The good news is you're not alone. Many women are feeling this way. And I do think the apps and the social media aspect of everything has diminished. It's too many prostitutes out here. Most of these women is prostitutes now.

They're making it so easy. No, that's real talk. I don't talk about 52 dudes over the last 17 days. and they all said it's just really easy to just spend $200 and you can get a beautiful woman for $200 and she'll do nasty things to you and go away. Yeah, but you would do nasty things to somebody for free. Yeah, but it's going to take them a year for me to do it. Oh, yeah, so that nobody has enough time. I would just say you're open, you've put yourself out there,

so that's all you can really do. You seem like a go-getter. You've moved to California on your own. You have your own radio show. You have all these things going on for you. Like, I would really just invest in yourself and just know that when the person comes along, they're going to come along and you're going to be ready for them. You know what I mean?

Enjoy your time without the expectation of meeting the guy. And it's a guy you're looking for, not a woman. Yeah. Right. I wish it was. I wish it was. I know. It would be so much easier.

I feel like it'd be so much easier. Yeah. And in fact, I'm back in Connecticut visiting my family right now. And I kind of told them that I was going to be talking to you guys. And I fight, I fight the I feel like oftentimes women are fighting the tide of like societal pressure. You know, when I talked to Catherine pre interview, I've been happy like the last six years, right, doing my thing, moving to California, but I, I do sometimes find myself camping or on adventures, saying like, it would be nice to have someone sitting here with me like drinking a glass of wine or jumping in this lake or sleeping in a tent, you know, so I'm very confident and fine traveling alone you know i went to italy for a month last year by myself they're always just these little did you meet some guys there they say they horny in italy yeah girl no what i know and so oh i gotta tell you gotta come hang out with me i gotta see what

you're doing in these streets you think you can help her i think so sitting on the spanish steps in rome saying it'd be nice to like have a glass of wine with someone i'm loving traveling alone but there are moments where I say to myself, it really would be nice to, I think men too, I find between the ages of 35 and 39, think that have this like predisposition to think that women are looking for a ring. And I just want someone to adventure with, have a good time, a committed partner in a way, you know? Yeah. I like that idea. And yeah, it's just the last few experience I've had have just been a total letdown. So. Why don't you do this? Why don't you get off this call and write down the 20 things that you want in a man. Write down everything that you're

looking for. It doesn't matter if it's materialistic or superficial, like the way they look, whatever it is that comes into your head. The really most important 20 things to you, write that down on a piece of paper, put it in a drawer and don't look at it again. And go about your business and go about your life being grateful that you don't have the wrong guy in your life or somebody who's draining you or somebody, you know what I mean? That you're not in a toxic relationship. You're free. You're independent. You have all this stuff going for you. The fact that you went to Italy for a month by yourself, that's bad-ass. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't go to Italy by myself for a month. I don't even know how to find my way around, you know, places like I, so like you're,

you're crushing life and any guy that would get to be with you is a huge addition. It has to be a huge addition. And, and so I don't doubt that you're going to meet somebody that's going to fit the criteria, but I think you need to really put it out there and put it in your drawer and just leave it there and you can continue on the apps or you cannot, but really just enjoy the time that you have by yourself. And, and because it won't be forever, there will be somebody that comes along. There always is, whether it's your forever person or just somebody for a few months, somebody will come into your life. They do show up. I think I, I go back and forth about the apps because they're, they can become a really dark, a dark place. And so that was also something I

want to pick your brain about the apps because I know I've heard you do your stand up and talks how you did you dabbled in the apps I think for like a bit and I'm at the point now where I don't want to pay for them anymore and I kind of just want to delete them and maybe like just as you were saying let the chips fall kind of yeah they will I just feel like there's no success on there are you ever asking somebody out when you like are out in the wild and you feel a vibe with like the cute barista or whatever I did that okay I did that about a month ago I met a guy at a birthday party and we hit it off I was traveling he was traveling we said let's get in touch when we get back he got in touch with me we went to a little music festival up the coast we had a great

time invited him back down to where I was living we didn't have sex or anything we hooked up he in fact said that he was trying to approach his relationships differently and take things slow So I thought, okay, these are, like, green flags. And as it goes, and what I've been experiencing the last six years, the next morning he was saying how he thought his summer was going to be, like, his alone time. And he wasn't ready to, like, commit to anything yet, but that we should stay in touch. And, you know, I asked him to hang out a few more times after that. Girl, I would block his fucking ass. It was kind of just, like, a ghosting thing.

Like, I asked him to hang out again. And I told him I was coming up to San Francisco and I just never heard from him. Girl, block that motherfucker. Well, she doesn't have to block him because he's not fucking trying to connect with her. Tiffany, what this guy still does is he'll like my Instagram stories.

Okay, see, this is tricky. This is so... Block his ass. This is so... Block his ass from everything. Yamanika, are you fucking listening, Yamanika? Please, I hope you are. Send this episode to Yamanika.

I will. Because, honestly, I hate this shit, this idea that a man, like, this is... This is why they... He's 39. I know, but... He a hoe. That's a hoe, okay? And that's what he wanted to be, was a hoe. Did he eat your ass, at least? Like, at the end of the day, like...

Definitive no. Definitive no. And that's why you... Move on. Move on. If I was you, personally... Okay, so I like Bumble. I don't know about y'all, but I like going on Bumble. Are you on Bumble? I like going on Bumble. I am on Bumble. And what I've noticed

is... Okay, so I'll go to a new place, and I'll, like, pick you know you can pick locations and so I look for guys where I'm going to go like I'm going to Louisville Kentucky this week so I look for guys on there and they're shocked that it's me they're like don't believe it's me and what I love about Bumble is you can FaceTime with them through the app and they never have your phone number right and so I could and I tell them look I'm not trying to have no boyfriend I'm not looking for nothing serious I'm coming to your town I want to do something fun I want you to take me somewhere in your town that's fun you're gonna have to

and it better be a good time and don't be smelling funny don't be looking crazy don't be that because I will talk about you to your face sir everything was like oh man challenge accepted like and they show up right and I just give them kind of like a criteria of what they got to do before they even like get in my space if you're trying to be in my space because I think men love challenges men love rules and rules of engagement and like oh can I push the boundaries with her and then and then i'll tell them by the end of the day like like hey man this was super fun thanks for taking me to this museum thanks for showing me a piece of your town i don't ever want to see you again they be like what yeah i'm cool on you bro like this but this was an amazing experience i had a good

time then that guy is constantly sending me messages in bumble like can we hang out again then he starts following me on instagram like hey it was really you and i really want to hang out look to check out this thing then they're sending me facts about their town and shit like and i appreciate it but that that wasn't the guy for me but um also girl farmers only.com if you into men with land that know that understand cycles men like the pig farmer from eternal instinct yeah but they understand he's available by the way patient you can tell him any motherfucking thing he lets you get away with it like the guy from instincts no i don't know i've had fun i've had fun um i haven't had sex with anybody on there i don't have a boyfriend from there but i've made

some really great friends I've learned a lot about the land I've learned a lot about investments and you know as a businesswoman you know I'm always like and I'm into food and stuff so I want to I only want to be around people that's into what I'm into right so I've been learning so much I done made some investments too I love that in farmland yeah in farmland and not necessarily in a guy who I was dating farmland but like in anyways it doesn't matter I made investments meeting these guys and I'm learning I think I'm learning a lot like at the end of the day I'm not going into it thinking of oh I'm gonna get a husband I'm going in like I want like you said a partner I want to grow with somebody I want to learn something can you teach me something like I

ask every guy can what you gonna teach me today like I want someone to teach me something I like thirsty for knowledge sir some of these women out here thirsty for dick I'm thirsty for knowledge another thing you can do is you can geo target where you live you know what I mean and for Instagram and kind of slide into people's DMs. Oh, interesting. You know what I mean? Like look at their profile. That kind of gives you a nice full picture of what's happening if they're married or if they have a girlfriend or, you know, what the situation is and like look within your area and just start like, you know, browsing, use that as a dating app. That works too. Yeah. The DMs. Yeah. Cause you're, you're fully, you know, you're, you have no problem like approaching a

man. I mean, listen, you're my hero from this call. You're doing everything fucking right. So like, I love it. A lot of women don't have the balls to go up and ask men like to go out. You know, I can even be shy around that myself, which doesn't really make much sense. Yeah. Just because yeah. Yeah. I don't know why just girl stuff, but I love what you're doing. I love everything you're doing and it's just like, enjoy yourself. Are you afraid to date younger? I'm not afraid to date younger but i do i feel like there should i feel like my cap is like 28 uh because i know this 26 year old dude he's six foot two very handsome he might be six foot four where where do you live in california i'm in santa cruz california oh he's in la here's my thing like

even guys who are like the immaturity just lasts for like so long so my fear with dating younger is like yeah i can't even get like but if they're but if they're a businessman there's younger business like there's old souls out here i mean they approach me all the time it's some young grown men out here i think one of my good qualities is that i am open so okay this might not be your vibe but just hear me out i think a lot of women who are into a masculine guy need to start seeing about dating trans men because you have like the personality you have like they were raised right and then you have all the masculine qualities of a man you've this is the second time you've brought that up it feels like you want to date a trans man i

mean and you're married happily married but you know i mean you shouldn't rule trans men out No, I'm not. Like I said, I'm very open. It's just the years keep rolling on, you know? How old are you? She's 30. I'm 35. Yeah.

I think you're probably going to meet somebody. I don't know that you're going to marry someone, but you're definitely going to meet a couple more guys in your life. At state sales, funerals, it's always vulnerable men at funerals. I've dated a lot of men at funerals, and they spoil you, too, because they're trying to feel better. Did I say at state sales? Auctions.

are usually good there's a lot of good men there grocery stores near gyms gyms are a good place to meet people period but the grocery store near the gym is the best place not in the gym but by the gym also if you're in santa cruz join a biking group or join a hiking group or whatever rock climbing whatever you're into and and and find some you know find some different kind of groups of people that way yeah joining groups that's something i yeah i moved there i've moved I've been in California for four years. I've been in Santa Cruz for a little over a year. So still kind of, I've just now started feeling acclimated.

Yeah, so you're new to that area. So yeah, give it a little bit more time. I bet you're going to meet someone. Yeah, you're pretty. You're going to pull fast. If you're just like, I just want to have fun. The guy's going to be like, ah, yes, she will be mine. The Jonas Brothers are running it back.

We live the Burning Up Tour and celebrate the biggest Jonas Brothers hits that have defined a generation. One incredible celebration. One unforgettable night. See the Jonas Brothers live at RBC Amphitheater, September 28th. Get tickets now at Ticketmaster.ca. Jonas Brothers, the Burning Up Tour, all over again. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.

I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table.

It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages.

On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first.

I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits,

change your mind or wake up to a new version of yourself so whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip i hope you listen to solita on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts this is a good story to tell my girlfriends were like you gotta tell this story i met a guy in a dating app in san francisco and it very soon into the day i was like oh this is going to be a good time not a long time sort of situation yes which i was into because again just trying to like make connections we ended up being in las vegas at the same time for a concert and he met up with a bunch of my friends and i hadn't gotten laid in a really long time and they

were like this is your night like the guy from san francisco's in las vegas like perfect perfect perfect we go back up to the hotel room we're hooking up inches from penetration he tells me has an std oh hell no it's not the time at least he told you at least he told you i know but at least he told you what was the std what was the std herpes and was he having an outbreak a herpes outbreak or he just he wasn't having an outbreak but oh well that's very responsible by the way he wasn't having an out but he didn't have a condom right yeah so he did the right thing you rub my coochie i'ma jack you off that's what we finna do but where is that guy now he's traveling the world somewhere okay probably catching more stds so okay well okay

well at least he told you so that's not the worst thing in the world no it's not but between that interaction and the one who keeps liking my instagram stories i just am like fed up those are the latest interactions i've had with the male species my my listen they're a lot better than some of the other stories that are out there yeah and my advice to all women is to stop fucking looking to check and see who is looking at your Instagram stories. It doesn't matter. If that person wants to contact you, they will. And it's not because they're looking through your stories. It's like watching someone watching TV. It doesn't matter who's looking through your Instagram stories. It doesn't matter unless that person sends you a message about your Instagram story,

and then they're initiating a conversation. So I would just stop looking at that. you're very right I think it's just this this kind of like maddening like okay I never heard from him he didn't text me back why is he liking my story like get out of my life so to Tiffany's point I think I'm just gonna like remove him yeah mute his ass

block him where he gotta call you to be like hey I can't see you on the stories no more well you're not supposed to see me no more you're a ghost boom bye alright keep us posted will you let us know in a few months if you meet someone what the vibe is

okay I will do that and I am gonna take your advice I want an invitation to your baby shower and to your wedding I predict that in two years she will be getting married okay I like that prediction and she will be very pregnant and I want make sure we have it on camera I guess I want an invitation

okay I'm not I don't know if I want children okay whatever you're gonna be pregnant you might not have it but in two years in two years mark my word in two years you're gonna be like dang tiffany said i'm not saying i'm psychic but my instincts tell me in two years it's you're gonna be hemmed up you're gonna be cooking and cleaning and all this stuff and happy as hell okay i like that mindset um i'm gonna take your advice though chelsea and write down

yeah put it in a drawer write it down that'll be helpful and write down tiffany said in two years i'm gonna be in a relationship we have that we have that recorded now so we're all set and i want the invitation to the wedding and the baby shower because i know you say you're not and you're not thinking about having no babies, but you're going to have a baby. You're going to have two of them. All of you are invited. We'll come together as a group.

We will come and we will be like, Bring the party. All right, Olivia. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Take care. Thank you. Oh, that was, she was awesome.

She's great. That was great guests. Thank you. You're a great guest, Tiffany, as usual. I'm not surprised, obviously, with your nonsense. Her full name is Tiffany Sarah Cornelia Haddish. Did you know that? Yeah, I knew that.

Did you? Yeah, I did know that. And her new movie, Haunted Heist, is on video on demand, baby. Yeah. I love you. I love you more. Ciao, Bella. Mwah.

If you want advice from Chelsea, write in to DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartMedia. Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler and find Catherine on TikTok at Flashcadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law. Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets to see Chelsea live at ChelseaHandler.com. i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and

nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. each week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts did you hear the new episode

of the hey jonas podcast we are at d23 so we'll see who stops by the cast of frozen stopped by Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Adina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it.

Well, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements.

We host the podcast, Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your

podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.