Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Minisode: Bender Baby with Chelsea + Catherine

Episode Date: January 30, 2026

Chelsea and Catherine get an update about a husband’s sexting ways, and a 20-something wants a baby… but is she ready? * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. The new Red Bull Dragonberry and Tropic Berry Energizers, now at McDonald's. Made with freeze-dried fruit and an electric burst of flavor. The all-new Red Bull Energizers, now at McDonald's. This product may not be right for you. High in caffeine. Details at mcdonalds.ca and participating Canadian restaurants, excluding Quebec. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files.

Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. each week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts did you hear the new episode

of the hey jonas podcast we are at d23 so we'll see who stops by the cast of frozen stopped by Like Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it.

Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, guys, the High and Mighty Tour is about to begin. I'm coming to Washington, D.C., Norfolk, Virginia, Atlantic City,

which I just added, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus, and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago, of course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Mesa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri, St. Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham, North Carolina. May 6th, I'm doing Netflix is a Joke Festival. I will be in Los Angeles. That is a new announcement. Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modesto, California, and Port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington. I will be touring from February through June.

Go to ChelseaHandler.com for tickets. If you want to come see me perform, I will be on the high and mighty tour. Hi, Catherine. Hi, Chelsea. How are you today? How are you? Oh, I'm good. Oh, good.

Oh, good, good. Are you still on pelvic floor rest? I am hopefully going to be over that soon. We'll be able to have penetration. That's a good way to get away from somebody. Be like, sorry, the doctor said. Like a one-night stand. And you're like, you know what, at the very last minute, right, when you're walking up to someone's hotel room, you're like, you know what, actually, I'm on pelvic rest.

You know what, sorry. Well, I do have an update. This is another, like, long-term update like we had last time. But this is from Jay, who called in on our Justin Long episode from a million years ago. But she was wondering if sexting is cheating. Her husband had been sexting someone. She caught him. our advice was kind of like since he was really apologetic and open to counseling to give it

another try so she says hi Catherine I wanted to send an update I went back through my emails to see how long ago this happened well I should have left him back then I forgave him and put my trust back in him this time he cheated on me for real with one of my co-workers gross and she knew I was married her boyfriend saw her messages and thank god sent me screenshots through Facebook I'm trying to divorce, but my state makes you wait one year. I've been separated in the same house for three months, and he still tries to fight for me, but I'm not interested. Thank you for the advice back then.

Not sure you'll get this, but just wanted to use as a cautionary tale for others if you wanted. Thanks again, Jay. So what was the advice that I gave her to get rid of him? No, we said, like, give him another chance, because he was, like, really apologetic. I'll go to counseling. I'm so sorry, and he failed her.

Yeah. there's nothing really good that comes from that you know if somebody's like sneaking around doing anything it's going to lead to more things it's like you know even if yeah and some people are just like good at really being a liar you know they just want to lie and manipulate people so like they're just a bad seed which is hard to kind of think about because when you're intimate or you're in a relationship with or you know a marriage you're like oh no you blame yourself a lot because you're like how did I not see all those warning signs but it's pretty obvious when someone lies yeah and it's kind of like you have to weigh did they fuck up one time or is it like

a habitual thing especially with the sexting I think people can get really addicted to like the dopamine hit of like getting responses from somebody yeah and I also think it's fair to give somebody a second chance if somebody if they fuck up if they fuck up like in a minor way it's like hey I don't I'm not cool with this but when they fuck up in a major way then it's kind of like Well, now you have, like, two red flags, so you have your answer. Yeah. So good for you for staying strong. You're going to find another guy very shortly.

Yes. They're everywhere. There is joy around the corner. The new Red Bull Dragonberry and Tropic Berry Energizers, now at McDonald's. Made with freeze-dried fruit and an electric burst of flavor. The all-new Red Bull Energizers, now at McDonald's. This product may not be right for you. High in caffeine. Details at mcdonalds.ca

and participating Canadian restaurants, excluding Quebec. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming.

They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. but these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality,

welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.

I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages.

On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it.

It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I think we're ready for our caller. This is Jane who's calling in. Jade? Jane. Jane.

Yeah, like 1950s Jane. so her subject was unplanned pregnancy not sure who the father was she says dear chelsea i've always resonated to your bluntness and lack of respect for straight men i'm 29 and i've always known i want to be a mom however i have ptsd from sexual trauma at the hands of both men i trusted and men i didn't know this has made it nearly impossible for me to have a serious long-term relationship with a man i'd much rather be alone than let one live in my space and tell me what to do. I recently went on a little bit of a bender and slept with three different men in one weekend. I was ovulating and acting like a fuckboy. My therapist says it's to feel in control again

and a normal trauma reaction, but I feel bad for lying to all of them. My period was late and I took a test and it was positive. I grew up Catholic, so I knew my family would not be thrilled about this news. For context, I had an abortion a year ago and it clarified the fact that I do want kids. At the time, I didn't have a stable job. I have a good job now with good insurance, but I don't make a ton of money. I wanted to keep the baby, but my mom and sister specifically would probably have had to help me a lot, and I don't know if that's fair. After talking with them about how I wanted to keep the baby, they pressured me to end the pregnancy, and I did. I know my very religious mom is ashamed of me, and I'm not sure how to repair my relationship with her. Any help

would be appreciated. Jane. Hi, Jane. How are you? Good. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Okay, so what's the status with you and your mom? Your mom's upset with you for getting pregnant or for getting the abortion? Both, it would seem. So I don't know, like, where we go from here, because I had multiple conversations with her where I was like, I don't want to do this without you. Like, I'm not going to involve the father. So you would have to be a big part of me in this baby's life. And she told me, I can't do that for you. I can't be there for you in the way that you need, which broke my heart. And I made the decision, okay, I'm not going to, I don't want to do this alone. It's really hard to be a single mom. Not that I couldn't have done it, but I chose

not to. Now I'm feeling like isolated from my family because all of this vulnerable stuff happened. But then I'm also like isolated socially because I can't like date successfully. So I'm just kind of in a pickle. What do you mean you can't date successfully? Why do you say that? Like, I have so much PTSD that normally it just turns out to be more like a bender, like what happened in September, where like, I kind of go crazy for a weekend and like, sleep around a bunch. And it's fun. And I have fun. But then I'm like, okay, it would be cool if I had someone I could trust. And also, it would be cool if I met someone I could raise a kid with. But I feel like I'm giving up on that. And that's what my parents were saying to me. It's like, we feel like you're giving up. And that's what made me decide to get the abortion. But yeah, I'm 29, so. Okay, well, first of all, you're 29.

You have your entire life ahead of you. That's nothing. So don't worry about that number, okay? Are you working with a therapist right now? Yes. Okay, so you're working through all that stuff. So for you, like for any other regular person who's just going out and doing that randomly or occasionally,

that's okay. But if it's a result of the trauma that you endured, then that is a separate issue, right? Because you're acting out and you're doing this for the reasons. So I think your transparency is really like great, A, that you're working with a therapist, that you were honest with your family.

It's not your mom's responsibility to raise a child with you. It's an unfair ask. You know what I mean? She's not your partner. She already raised you. She raised your siblings. Like, it's just not fair.

So I understand that you were disappointed in that reaction, but you have to get yourself into a position, A, where you're with someone that you're ready to have a baby with, and then that's going to be your partner. And when that does happen and you show the kind of maturity and growth

that you're going to be experiencing, like from this phone call on and through your therapy and on, you're going to mend the relationship with your mom and your family members and everything. They just need to see that you're making changes in the right direction. Going out, having sex with three young eyes,

getting pregnant, and then asking your mom to raise the baby doesn't give people a view of, oh, this girl's getting her shit together. yeah I know and I and I can see their perspective and I did like finally just get a real real job with like benefits and everything so I think I am kind of addicted to the chaos maybe a little bit and that's what my therapist is working with me on it's just I feel like what if I never find I don't see a world where I'll ever like trust someone and want to like you will you will

absolutely you will nothing is permanent your feelings right now are not permanent they're just temporary and it's a result of something so like you're in a situation this is a great like growth edge for you you're in a situation where you can like actually decide okay this is not how i want to behave anymore i want to move forward you know what you want you want a partner you want to have a baby move forward with those things in mind having benders with a bunch of random guys every weekend isn't getting you what you want that's like a band-aid that ends up hurting more in the long run right like that's not how you want to have a baby so if you really are looking like don't say I'm never gonna I'm never gonna you're 29 years old you don't know

what you're gonna do you're gonna have a lot of experiences and you're gonna fall in love with people and you're gonna have like all of those opportunities as long as you just make sure that's what you want to do and say it to yourself like with intention like that's that's what I'm doing now and also there's no harm in like you know I don't like I'm not a big fan of declaring victory you prematurely when you feel like you've gotten over a situation or you're feeling like you're kind of like blooming into a new person so to speak but like it's important to take that be patient with your family and in a few weeks time or whatever seems like an appropriate amount of time for you I don't know how often you hang out with your family or with them but just give them

positive updates about the work and progress that you're making you know about your job it's not all about men. It's not all about the baby. It should just be multidimensional, all the facets of your life, your friendships. This is what you're working on. This is what you're working on with your therapist. You don't have to get into detail, but just give them little updates to let them know that you are like working towards becoming a more, you know, reliable, responsible adult who's ready for a big responsibility. Yeah. And I think that that is really good advice because sometimes I feel like what can we talk about though because there's a lot of like trauma in my past and my job is kind of boring and so sometimes I feel like there's only like a handful of topics that I can

talk to my family about um but you're right probably just talking about like my goals and things that I am accomplishing would be better than and books that you're reading like you know A book, like a self-help book that really made you understand or reminded you of your dynamic with your parents, like all positive things. You know what I mean? Don't bring them into the trauma since it's already exposed and everyone knows about it. It's about you like working to get out of it and working to heal yourself. And that's your priority. Your priority isn't your family. Your priority is yourself. But like, you know, your mental health and just sharing with them in a way that doesn't require them to carry any more of a burden in their minds. You know what I mean? Or responsibility, I think, is a better choice of words. I definitely wish I could go back in time and just not tell anybody in my family about any of the trauma or the pregnancies. Of course.

I know. But you know what? That's okay. You did. And they deserve to know because they're your family and they want to know. It's just about it's not what happens. it's how you handle what happens you know I mean it listen it is what happens but it's very much more how you handle coming out of that and what you do to heal after that so I don't have any

like doubt that you're on your you're on your road you're just in a vulnerable spot right now and you're feeling vulnerable you know and you're feeling alone and I get it but this this you have the ability to repair all of these relationships and make them grow and turn into the woman that you really like want to become and find the partner that you want yeah like I know right now it feels like the trauma is so looms so large in your life and that like that's your whole life but as you keep working with your therapist and you get some distance and some perspective like it will it will shrink as far as like how much space it takes up in your life I also wanted to ask not from a procreation standpoint but just from a like a mood management perspective are

you on birth control at all or no no and this is like been a thing for me I have tried so many different type and some of them just really suck yes and they have made me so depressed I tried the copper IUD when I was in college and I've never had more painful periods and then I tried to get the like least hormonal IUD yes the Mirena I think and it was horrible there was like a it was a doctor learning how to be a gynecologist and they couldn't get it in. And so I just told them to stop. Which is great for someone who's already had sexual trauma. Good job. But when we're au naturel, we have these like highs and lows with our hormones, right? And like when we're ovulating, we feel the most powerful, we get the most done, we feel amazing. But then it can

also lead to like, you know, going out and partying a little bit too much and sort of, you know, having to face the consequences of that. Whereas when you are in birth control, it gives you a little bit less of a high low. So you might talk to your doctor and see if there is a pill that could help just sort of like smooth the edges of that. Yeah, I know. I think that if I could find a good option for me, that would be great, especially because, you know, I'm not going to be celibate. So I don't want to have a repeat of this situation next time I ovulate. Do you have a female female doctor a gynecologist no well you don't have a gynecologist okay well do you have health insurance yes okay well try and find a female gynecologist and she's going to be much

more adept at getting things inside you and also giving you the options of what's like what a good option for you is I mean there's a million things out there I'm sure there's going to be something that's going to get along with your system I mean everyone needs it so that's good advice talk about positive things get on birth control I think it's just hard because like like you were saying Catherine like it's so daunting like I feel okay you know like day to day but like big picture am I ever gonna be able like I don't know I just got a text from like a witness protection person that the guy who assaulted me is gonna be out of prison in a week and like tough I don't have anybody really in this town my family's not here so it's just like I wish I could talk to my mom and my

sister about this stuff but like it's too taboo it's like that's frustrating why is it too taboo like what is their reaction to that subject matter they basically tell me not to talk about it like don't bring it up kind of stuff which is fine like I have friends and a therapist it's just my sister is very she's turned to god and so now she's like doesn't he want to hear she doesn't want to talk about abortion and like sexual assault is like she can't handle talking about it so you know what i think in addition to your therapist to see if there is like a group yes in your town that is like a sexual assault survivors group that might be really helpful so you have another outlet that you can talk to people who've experienced the same thing which you know maybe

your therapist hasn't that might be a good way to like and you can talk about this like I can't talk about this with my family you know how are your families reacting and like really get into it yeah that would just feel validating I think especially with the freshness of like knowing this person is out um you know that it might be good to like step up your self-care in that way I think that's a great idea because you're going to find out you're not the only person that whose family isn't always available for these kinds of conversations yeah and I don't want them i don't want to keep traumatizing them yeah right i hear you i hear you well will you follow up with us in a little bit yeah thank you so much all right thanks for calling in we wish you the best

of luck yeah nice to meet you you too chelsea i'm seeing you in february in madison oh yeah great i'll be there madison wisconsin i'm coming okay take care keep us posted okay bye guys bye What a sweetheart. Well, I mean, it's like a heavy topic, but I'm glad that this is a resource where people can come and talk about, you know, some of the not so fun parts of life, some of the worst parts of life.

Families are so fucked up. Truly. And even the ones that mean well don't always know what to say, you know? I like it when people don't know what to say. I like when people say it is what it is. What does that mean? It is what it is.

Is there anything more stupid than that sentence? Maybe like that it was meant to be, or you know what I mean when people are like no it's not that it's God's plan well it is what it is it's like what is it

it's not good enough should it be that's not good enough probably not agree okay anyway Catherine I hope you have a wonderful productive day okay

thank you Godspeed God bless America bye okay guys the High and Mighty Tour is about to begin I'm in D.C.

February 13th February 14th Atlantic City which I just added 15th is Norfolk, Virginia February 19th Madison, Wisconsin February 20th is Milwaukee, Wisconsin. February 21st, Detroit, Michigan. February 22nd,

Rama, Ontario. That's Canada for those of you who don't speak Canadian. March 13th, Cleveland, Ohio. March 14th, Columbus, Ohio. March 15th, Cincinnati, Ohio. And then March 20th is Denver, Colorado. March 27th, Portland, Maine. March 28th, Providence, Rhode Island. March 29th, Springfield, Massachusetts. April 10th is Chicago. I'll be at the Chicago Theater. April 11th, Indianapolis, Indiana. April 12th, Louisville, Kentucky.

April 16th is Albuquerque, New Mexico. April 17th is Mesa, Arizona. April 23rd is Kansas City, Missouri. April 24th is St. Louis, Missouri. April 25th is Minneapolis, Minnesota. April 30th, Nashville, Tennessee. May 1st is Charlotte, North Carolina. May 2nd is Durham, North Carolina.

May 6th, I'm doing Netflix is a Joke Festival. I will be in Los Angeles. That is a new announcement. And May 15th, Saratoga, California. May 16th, Monterey, California. May 17th, Modesto, California. And then June 4th, Port Chester, New York. June 5th is Boston, Mass.

And June 12th is Portland, Oregon. And then Seattle is June 13th. So suck on that, everybody. Go to ChelseaHandler.com for tickets. Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write into DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law.

And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com. I survived nine months in captivity. And I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality,

welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by.

The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it.

Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements.

We host the podcast, Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman,

Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.