Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Minisode: I’m Not Here to Tear Up Love with Yamaneika Saunders

Episode Date: June 27, 2025

Yamaneika joins Chelsea to discuss some sneakers that need to be retired.  Then: A girlfriend’s support for her boyfriend begins to waver.  * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. The Jonas Brothers are running it back. We live the burning up tour and celebrate the biggest Jonas Brother hits that have defined a generation. One incredible celebration. One unforgettable night.

See the Jonas Brothers live at RBC Amphitheater September 28th. get tickets now at ticketmaster.ca jonas brothers the burning up tour all over again i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. each week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions yeah i'm obsessed i'm obsessed listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts i'm hoda kotb host of the podcast joy 101 with hoda kotb you know i'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy like when my friend henry winkler offered advice to

aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out you're not hired just to fill time and space you're hired to fill the space with you listen to joy 101 with hoda kotb on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts hi we're back with a mini-sode and my special guest is yamanika saunders she's here today still teeth the lipstick is not on your teeth today It's gone now. It's gone. So you ate it. Catherine, what's happening?

Hi, Chelsea. Well, we have a quick update from a previous caller. This is from Dolly. She had called in on our Christina Ricci episode. Her brother and sister-in-law were fighting a lot. It was sort of affecting their kids. So she was wondering how to support her niece and nephew. So she says, hi there.

Since being on the show with Chelsea and Christina Ricci, my husband and I have made active strides to not interlope with my sister-in-law and her husband's relationship woes and distanced ourself from being in the center of their ongoing tension. As far as their relationship, there hasn't been much improvement. But on a positive note, as Chelsea recommended, my husband and I have been spending more time with our niece and nephew

and building a stronger relationship with them. Thank you, Chelsea, for the reminder that it's their relationship and I should worry only about what I can control. Dolly. Wow, that's good. Isn't that great? That's good. I love that.

I love that. And reaching out to these kids is like so great. Yeah, reaching out because kids are so, you know, you've got nieces and nephews and you know how important it is to connect with them and make sure they have a safe haven in you. Yeah, of course, yeah. She was watching her in-laws or her sister, what was it, like have bad, bad relationships. Yeah, her sister and brother-in-law. Like really fight with each other and fight in front of the kids, really inappropriate. And it's like she was trying to like get involved and I'm like, you can't get involved in that.

All you can do is really show up with your children, with their children, and just, like, build a relationship with them so that they have a safe place to go and safe people to talk to. But I feel like that's pretty much the biggest contribution you can make. If you can impact children's lives in a positive way, I feel like that is very purposeful. Yeah. I just don't—all this arguing in front of children is, like, crazy to me. Did you grow up with parents that argued at all? No. We were just a fussy family, but we were more, like, funny, fussy, funny.

You know, like nobody took anything serious. I felt very loved. You know, I had grown up problems like everybody else, but I felt very loved. I was I'm very grateful for my family. But to come from a family that had foster children, you know, my grandparents took in foster kids and seeing children coming from abusive situations and situations where they're uncomfortable and realizing how blessed I was that I don't have to go home and worry about is there going to be somebody who's going to beat me to death or do something? You know what I mean? Like, the way we don't protect little human beings that we bring into the world is insane. On a separate note, I just want to point out that you're wearing a separate, you're wearing a pair of sneakers today that look like they're actually your size. Because when I was out with you last night, you wear these boat sneakers that are, they seem like they're a few sizes too big. And I know we were giving you some grief about it last night. Yeah. I think we should retire those sneakers.

No, but they're also very comfortable. They're a part of me. At some point, I will. I will retire them. Oh, I will. Yeah. Maybe when you come to Europe, maybe I'll go into your suitcase and maybe I'll retire them for you. Yeah, if I bring those shoes, I'm not going to bring any nauticas to Europe, honey.

I'm that trash. The Jonas Brothers are running it back. We live the Burning Up Tour and celebrate the biggest Jonas Brothers hits that have defined a generation. One incredible celebration. One unforgettable night. See the Jonas Brothers live at RBC Amphitheater, September 28th. Get tickets now at Ticketmaster.ca. Jonas Brothers, the Burning Up Tour, all over again.

When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.

But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us.

Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this? How about we flip it on its head? How about we flip the script? What if the surprise woman, who actually you think is the straight man, is actually the one who's acting weird? Adam Scott. this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would

never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that it seems like if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity yeah ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like they're like oh what's this everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are

without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, what do we have next, Catherine? So Claudia is 33. She's in Miami. She says, Dear Chelsea, my boyfriend and I have been together for about three years now. We live together both in our 30s, and I'm confident in saying that we're in this for the long haul. My predicament is that he's very unhappy with his job, and I don't know the best way to be supportive anymore. He's applied to hundreds of other positions, but doesn't ever seem to make it past the interview phase. He gets defeated, frustrated, and I struggle with knowing

how to help him. All I want is for him to be happy, or at least neutral at this point with his job, but it doesn't seem like he's taking the best steps or initiative to get there. He won't let me read his resume or cover letter for advice, and when I try to connect him with people, he shoots me down. He's an incredible writer and artist, and I've encouraged him to go to grad school as a different option to pursue, but he's stuck and won't make the jump. He's had episodes of depression in the past, and I fear that these career struggles might take him down that road again. We're in different industries, so I don't exactly know what resources to point him to, but I encourage him to keep applying and not lose faith. The last thing I

want is to be a nag, and I know he really needs to be the one to lift himself up and tackle this on his own, but it's difficult to watch the person you love get pushed down so many times. I think I've hit a wall and I just need an outside perspective on this. Claudia. Hi, Claudia. Hi, nice to see you both. Hi, thank you. This is Yamanika.

Hi, Claudia. I want to say, you know, I was snickering at the top of it because, my God, you, no, you are me. You are me. I remember being you, right? You're young. That's some young shit. You doing all, what is this, an episode of Lean On Me? Might as well be.

Why the fuck are you building this dude up? Like, fuck that. And you in your 30s, you still young, bitch. And you sitting here grazing the motherfucker that's already supposed to be raised. He's got to go. You know what you want in life. I'm telling you, don't waste your fucking time. He's got to go.

No, he got to go. Who are you fucking? Because she loves him. I get it. But all of this adjusting that she's doing to try to reach a motherfucker is a waste of time, Chelsea. And in the 40s and up, we can tell you because we've been there. That's why I'm giggling at you. You was the bitch I was.

Please stop being this bitch as soon as possible. Let's have a realistic conversation about how you feel. That's very realistic. I know, I know. You said your piece and now I want to talk. So where are you at with how tolerant you are willing to be for this period or duration of time where he's kind of listless and depressed? Where are you on your relationship journey spectrum? Well, I'm not like up to here.

I'm still very supportive, and it's not like he's a deadbeat either. I'm not, like, paying his bills or anything. Like, he's still contributing financially. So until that changes, then I'm fine to keep supporting him. Okay, so see, those are her parameters. So she's not—you have to experience these things before you get to a place where you know this. Let me—right, right, right. Okay, so Chelsea is coming from that angle.

I'm coming here to contribute something completely different and from a different angle. that's why it's not another Chelsea sitting here I'm sitting here I appreciate what I'm telling you is I love that you are doing that right and I understand everybody has parameters I'm not heartless what I am telling you is somebody who's just like that what more can I do what and you're doing all you're trying to resource so that you can be resourced for him is he putting this kind of effort into his own self to get out of these pity party situations you understand and it only gets worse over time. That's something that he has to work on with himself. Because when things knocking you down, you're not motivated to move forward over time, life is going to do nothing

but kick your ass. And if you're not able to overcome from that, you're going to wind up bitter and stuck. I know I have friends like that. Every day I ask the Lord, please help me not to be bitter and stuck. It's easy. I do the same thing. I always wake up and say, please, I pray, like, let me not be a cunt today. You know, like I have that, I have that thing too. And let me not be a cunt to other people. Like he's obviously wrapped in like very self-involved in this period of time that he's in and whether he's depressed or he's going to be depressed or whatever, there really is only so much you can do to help somebody, to help lift somebody up if they're not willing to lift themselves up. Like you giving him resources and putting him in touch with people and him kind

of not responding to that doesn't show initiative and doesn't show ambition or a want for change. It almost is like there are certain people that like to be in this kind of negative space. That's their oxygen, where they like to be a victim, where they like to everything, nothing goes right for me. And it's the same old song and dance. So I think Yamanika, what she said is poignant, because when you get to be older, you'll realize like, you don't really want to put this much effort into him, but I totally respect the fact that you still love him and you still have more tolerance for his situation and to help him. But I would really start focusing on yourself. Since you can't pick him up out of this situation, how can you make your life more meaningful for

you? So you have a space to kind of exit when he's in that space. You know what I mean? That you can go and do things for yourself, that you have your own group of friends and that you have your own like community of of whatever it is and do you have those things like do you feel like you have your own life sets what makes it interesting is like i'm also trying to pivot careers and i got into grad school like i'm a year into grad school to try and make that transition so thank you if my words don't mean crap then at least he's like my example my action hopefully was you know inspires him in some way but i also don't want to be like hey look at me like i got my shit together because i really don't i'm being like hey look at you i'm like oh the woman

in the relationship is making moves and doing shit to better herself and the man is fucking wallowing shocker yeah yeah yeah the thing is you're gonna lose your patience for it that's the thing that we're just we're both in agreement on you're gonna lose your patience for it because it's not hot and nobody just gets to be in a bad mood for a long period of time like there's got to be steps taken. And while you're demonstrating actually what it looks like to change your life and take it into your own hands, he might get the message or he might not. He might get it in five years or he might never get it. You know, I don't know. But I would really make sure that you double down on yourself, whatever you're doing for yourself and what your goals are. Make sure that

you double down on your determination and making your life as good as it can be and see where the where the relationship goes. You know, maybe you'll have some sort of miracle and he will have an awakening. It happens to people. I just think women are much more reliable on men in the emotional department in terms of like hearing news,

making changes, making adjustments. We're more reliable. And I'm not that, I'm not, don't look at that girl in the mirror. I am about that. Look at that girl in the mirror. So what? Women are always expected to like,

don't act like you have this over a man and don't do this and da, da, da, da, da. So when you're getting a great—you know how hard that is to get into graduate school and shit like that? And you try to make a pivot and do things like that, and you can't applaud yourself, and he can't be next to you and go, yeah, that's my chick. She did that. You know what I'm saying? We always expected as women to make an adjustment so that a man's ego isn't crushed. You keep being who the fuck you need to be.

And then if you have to dip, go dip for a dude that's not going to feel some kind of way about you having your star because he got his own star. Maybe he is actually jealous of you, too. Who knows? I yeah I hope not I hope not too yeah I think I it did inspire him in a way like he's been applying it's just that he's like in a neutral and I want him to like rev up the gear and like go into turbo but he's he's not I feel like you're probably being very sweet and understanding and nice and like what do you girls think I feel like she needs to come in with a little more of Yamanika's energy of like okay it's time to stop wallowing like let's get shit done I think so

I mean, also remember, I ain't got no man. I ain't got no man. So you can rev in what you want, and you're going to have no man. And I've got a lot of men, so I just want to say that. No, but also, and to be fair, right, to your boyfriend, we are hearing your side. You know what I'm saying? But from the common sense things that I know in life,

it's not so much about this overall relationship as much as it is about Chelsea's telling you, if somebody's oxygen is negativity and that's not what you breathe, you're going to suffocate. That's what she just said. So you need to see if you guys are on the same planet with each other. You know, maybe he's really from Mars and you're from Venus. That's a good point.

So I'm sorry. I mean, this isn't, you know, the greatest news, but, you know, like it's not uplifting you in any way. But we just want to give you like honest female guidance. No, and I appreciate that so much. This is like, you know, the cold bucket of water that maybe I needed on my face. And I have to say, I saw you both perform in Hollywood, Florida. So I'm so happy that I get to see you today. That was like an amazing show.

I went by myself and it was like. Oh, look at you. Okay, that's what I'm talking about. I like your style. And I think it was, listen, I'm going to say this. I think it was, it's fine. I don't expect you to turn around and just leave him. That wasn't the conversation I was having.

I think we were having enough conversation for you to say, whatever you decide, here are the certain red flags that you need to start looking for. So if negativity is his oxygen and if he's not trying to grow, then when it's time for you to adios about it, we've given you a track. But if you want to go in and see what you can do and maybe change things around, my blessings to doing that. I'm not here to tear up love. Famous last words from Yamanika. I'm not here to tear up love. Okay, that would be the name of this episode.

She's a hopeless romantic, I can tell. Okay, well, good luck out there. Let us know what happens. If you have any big updates, let us know, okay? Thank you both so much. I appreciate it. Yeah. Thank you.

Bye. She received that well. Yeah. I mean, you were screaming at her. No, no, no. I like, when I was, because I was that girl, right? Like, everything, when it came to a guy, it's like, what can I do better? What am I not supporting him in?

Is there a way? And we always read these little Cosmo magazines and shit. 10 ways to be the bitch of his dream. 19 ways to not get on his nerve 11 ways to whisper in the sun and it's like all this shit we gotta do as a woman to try to make a man okay and it's like is he ever concerning himself

with how he makes us feel at all cause nobody's really asking him like what do you think the things you could do as a man to make your woman you know I think it should be reciprocity in this I make you feel good you make me feel good and thank you for listening to our mini

so today with Yamanika Special guest by Yamanika. The next one, I'm going to be completely silent. Okay. And serious. Okay, bye. And you can find Yamanika on Instagram at Yamanika. So I added a couple of new dates.

I'm not on tour yet, but I added a couple of dates just because I felt like we need a little bit more laughter and a little bit more medicine for the end of the year. And I was wrapping things up, but I thought maybe let me do a couple more. So I'm adding three more dates in addition to my Vegas residency. I'm doing West Hampton Beach, August 21st. I'm headlining the Rochester Fringe Comedy Festival, September 13th. And I will be in Napa on October 3rd. So those will be my last dates of the year. Do you want advice from Chelsea?

Write into DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com. to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the

same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. You know, I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy.

Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our hometown is not a test tube. 90 miles northeast of Nashville,

a battle for the future of America plays out in one small town. Developers with right-wing ties have purchased hundreds of acres of land. We need cities on a shining hill. This is Our Town, a podcast about what happens when a small town becomes the site of a social experiment and fights back. Guess you didn't move in on a bunch of dumb hillbillies now, did you? Listen to Our Town on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.