Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Minisode: Lap Time with Chelsea + Catherine

Episode Date: January 16, 2026

Chelsea and Catherine get a long-term update from a polygamist’s sister, and a couple calls in precisely because they have no problems. * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. The new Red Bull Dragonberry and Tropic Berry Energizers, now at McDonald's. Made with freeze-dried fruit and an electric burst of flavor. The all-new Red Bull Energizers, now at McDonald's. This product may not be right for you. High in caffeine. Details at mcdonalds.ca and participating Canadian restaurants, excluding Quebec. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files.

Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. each week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts did you hear the new episode

of the hey jonas podcast we are at d23 so we'll see who stops by the cast of frozen stopped by Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Adina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it.

Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the High and Mighty Tour.

I'm coming to Washington, D.C., Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago, of course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Mesa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri, St. Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham, North Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modesto, California, and Port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington. I will be touring from February through June. So go get your tickets now. If you want to come See Me Perform. I will be on the high and mighty tour. Hi, Catherine. Hi, Chelsea. Hello. How's Whistler? Whistler is whistling, whistling with snow and rain. It started raining again. The temperatures dropped, but it's snowing at the top. My friends just went skiing. I have a bunch of

boys at my house, 18-year-old boys. There's a little youth hostel thing, and one of them just got into a bad ski. He went to the ER. So hopefully his parents will deal with that. I don't know that I'm brave enough for skiing like skiing. I don't think so. I think if you haven't tried it yet, don't try it. My knees are not for it. It's always a little scary to me. I will say I had the best ski day of my life the other day. So I, it was so much powder and I was just, I was being able to ski the powder. It was so fun. And I just, I love it. I love my life here. That's amazing. Now do you, you drop in, right? Drop in. Not from the helicopter? No, no, I don't drop in. I'm not dropping in like that. I'm not going down cliffs and off of like, no, cornices. That's not what

I'm doing. I'm skiing well, but I'm not dropping in. That's what Jack is probably doing. The kid that just got hurt, he was dropping in. Okay. All right. Yeah. No, I'm not at that level and I never will be. Okay. I'm skiing on resort. Okay. Let's keep you safe. Let's just keep you safe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We want to keep me safe. Yes. Well, I have an update from a caller who called in two years ago. This is a real throwback. I know. How many years have we been on the air or whatever? It's like five, five years. We've been doing this podcast since 2021. So we're going on five. Wow. Okay, good. So Sammy wrote in on our Esther Perel episode two years ago. And of course, we love a long-term update. So this is great. She was living with her sister and brother-in-law

who had a polyamorous situation with a live-in nanny, and she was, like, worried about the kids. So this is what she has to say. Dear Chelsea, I'm writing to follow up about a discussion we had regarding my polygamous sister and her life choices. I do love that she says polygamous instead of polyamorous. Many things have changed, so buckle up. I finally moved out and moved into a studio apartment less than a mile from the beach, and it's a perfect place for meditation, smoking weed, and no children. I love my sister's kids, but as they're teens, I prefer to enjoy them at a distance. My sister and brother-in-law ended up getting divorced after much consideration regarding the polygamy situation. It turns out my brother-in-law didn't know he was going to

be excluded from the other party's relationship. He moved out and is now dating someone else. That's a whole different can of worms. My sister and her girlfriend, on the other hand, are still together, though my sister's girlfriend and I don't always see eye to eye. I do appreciate how much she has stood up since my sister got divorced. She works full-time now and is quite the parent to the kids. And though they also go head-to-head every once in a while, they truly love her and appreciate the parental figure.

My sister and I are still working on our relationship as both friends and sisters, as it took a hard hit during the past few years. I wanted to thank you ladies for talking some sense into me and making me realize that other people's problems are not my own and I don't need to take them on. Keep doing what you're doing. Love always, Sammy.

P.S. My sister found the podcast and lost her shit when she heard it was about her. She got over it. Welcome to my life. I constantly do interviews where I talk about boyfriends or family members and then just think it won't get back to them. And even it doesn't matter how many years of proof I have that it will. Yeah.

I like when people hear the podcast and then it's about them. They're like, wait, what the fuck? Wait a minute. Wait a second. Or it's like people will write in. They're like, I didn't think you were going to pick my question. I'm like, well. it's also that's like it is I mean there really is no truer sentiment other people's problems are

not your own like we should all be telling her that should be something we wake up and say to ourselves every single day because we can there are personality types that definitely get involved in other people's problems I have one of those personality types and it takes a long time to realize that a let people do their thing like you can't control the outcome of other people's lives you can't even control the outcome of your own life so like or be too attached to the outcome You know what I mean? Like you have to be a little bit movable. You can't be so intransigent that you can't change and pivot when you need to. And also to like let other people do their thing. And if you don't like it, then don't be around it. Right. It is that thing about boundaries where like you can't actually set a boundary with someone else. You can only like change your own behavior. Like the boundary has to pertain to you essentially. the new red bull dragonberry and tropic berry energizers now at mcdonald's made with freeze

dried fruit and an electric burst of flavor the all-new red bull energizers now at mcdonald's this product may not be right for you high in caffeine details at mcdonald's.ca and participating canadian restaurants excluding quebec when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and I just started screaming.

They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations

everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle.

I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip,

I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right. Well, our callers today, we've got a couples counseling with Chelsea question. Love it. Love it. And Elizabeth and Danny are calling in. So Elizabeth is the one writing in, and she says, Dear Chelsea, I've been a fan of yours for years and have learned so much from your work. I'm 44, a mom of three teenagers, and I attribute a lot of my growth to you.

Last year, I left a toxic relationship that brought me to the lowest point in my life. The red flags were always there. I made excuses. He made excuses until I no longer recognized myself. I learned that he wasn't who he claimed to be. Still married, unemployed, with no plan to work, manipulative. He tried to pull me and my kids down with him. I'm usually the most positive person in the room, but for a while, I was completely drained.

Your books and podcast helped me immensely and led me to letting go, which was truly life-changing. I realized I had been attracting people who need constant attention, and I was pouring from an empty cup, giving and giving without receiving. I worked on my energy, learned to love myself, and for the first time, I felt genuinely content being alone. Because I'm a romantic at heart and because I took your advice seriously, I wrote down everything I wanted in a partner and then let it go. I promised myself I wouldn't settle. Not even two weeks later, I met a man at a bar who is everything on that list and more. His name is Danny. He sat on the stool next to me with a self-help book I had letting go.

From the start, he's been the opposite of every relationship I've known. Patient, kind to everyone, smart, a little nerdy, funny, and steady. He treats me like a queen and has never given me a reason to question his character or his feelings. The chemistry is incredible, and we're intentional about staying connected. We've been together six months, slowly introducing our children. He has two adult daughters. We laugh constantly and have fun doing anything.

It feels magical, and I can't imagine my life without him. I'm writing for two reasons. First, to say thank you. The universe aligned because of the tools you gave me, and you've helped Danny, too. He's read Letting Go, and we recommend it to everyone. We often listen to your podcast together. Second, we'd love your advice. We know we're in a honeymoon phase, but we both want to protect what we're building.

Beyond what we're already doing, honest communication, daily connection, mutual respect, what tools or practices do you recommend to keep our relationship healthy and full of passion over the long haul? Elizabeth. Hi, guys. That's such a beautiful letter. I'm so happy for you two. Look at you two little lovebirds sitting on the couch together like that, probably inside each other. Listen, first of all, enjoy yourself. Enjoy the time and make sure you're making like, I just feel like when we're happy and things are going well, we need to remind ourselves that we're in a great flow state and like you know I think writing things to each other is really powerful like even if it's you know I don't know putting something into practice that is only between the

two of you like thinking of something to say to each other every day or something that you love about each other every day is really sweet even writing that to each other at the end of the day even if you're together in the room but being like oh let's do our thing that we like want to tell each other that we appreciate about the other person or something that turns us on about the other person. I think like forming rituals with each other that are new that you've never done with anyone else makes something feel even more special and makes you really appreciate it because yes, the honeymoon period, do you guys, are you guys living together? No, no. When my kids aren't here, we usually are staying together, but, and he stayed over a couple of times. You guys aren't

having premarital sex, are you? Heaven forbid. That's illegal. Okay. So just stop doing that right away but you're not living together that's a good thing I think listen it's really good to miss each other so don't ever be scared about that don't be scared about separations a couple of days apart is always kind of a good thing to keep you missing each other I feel like sometimes like I want the other person to go before I want them to go you know what I mean and when you really like someone you kind of never want them to go so I think that's a mistake that we could sometimes make we want we're like oh we want to spend you know and yes you do but there is an art to being apart to like missing each other for a couple days here and there a couple that's nice it's

nice to miss someone and then have them return so like just don't forget about that and think of something that you guys can do that's like can you think of anything off the top of your head that would be like a romantic gesture that you guys kind of do each day to each other like writing something to each other or or is there a lap time situation that is still happening tell us about that? Uh, we just enjoy at the end of the day, just having time where I sit down, she sits on my lap. We look at each other. We talk to each other about our days and really just try to just be connected and, and listen to each other and hear each other about how their day was because every day is different and we want to communicate like that. Communication is really important.

Yeah. Yeah. That's, well, that sounds like you guys already have your ritual. I don't know if it should be called lap time. It sounds like that's a little like Santa Claus adjacent, but whatever, you know, like do your thing. And I think that's sweet. Yeah. I mean, connecting and communicating and connecting and communication are key. And it's like, it's very nice to be intimate with someone, you know, to have like your little shorthand and to spend that time, like really getting to know each other and really being respectful of the other person. But, you know, don't be afraid of breaks. Don't be afraid of missing each other. I think that enhances things. And I think it prolongs that honeymoon phase. So that's the only advice I

would give you guys I would say other than that way to go I'm glad you're in your good phase now yeah and you got rid of the old shit and now you're ready for some good shit yeah the only thing I would add to that is you know when when things do come up because eventually they will whether they're small or large things you disagree about things you're having trouble with or just not connecting uh on I would say if something's come up three or more times and you're just like not connecting on it or you're disagreeing about it, go like talk to a therapist together. I think couples counseling is like not just when things are going bad, but it's it's also just like maybe we're not connecting on this. Maybe we disagree about this and we just like need a third party

to help us navigate it. It doesn't have to be like end of the world. So definitely utilize that when and if it's necessary. Yeah. And preemptive therapy is always good, too. You know, just so you're all on the same page like you know maybe you won't have any fucking problems who knows I mean the way things are going for women it feels like I mean listen there's a lot of bad things happening for women but this we've had a series of calls and people calling in kind of similar stories to yours like they just found their person after so many bad relationships like this is a recurring theme and so in many ways it feels to me like women are kind of like learning the lesson of the like the last time like you don't have to keep repeating bad relationships you can

kind of figure it out after the first bad one and be like, okay, I'm not doing that again. And, you know, and when you change the standards of what you accept, then that changes who comes into your life. Absolutely. Absolutely. One, one thing we do, it's not couples counseling, but we do constellations and that has been really good for us for sure. What does that mean? It's like, um, you represent a person that's having a therapy where the energy field kind of flows through that person and kind of gives you a feeling about what you think is going on.

And many times you don't know. It's a group thing where you're helping other people that you were representing their family members. And it's kind of like a family therapy type. Oh, wow. You just have a feeling, you have a feeling. And then the therapist tries to interpret what that feeling is for the individual with the therapy.

So you don't really have any idea what's going on. You're just telling them how you feel in the moment physically. And it's all based off of a feeling that you're not even talking about? Yes. It's basically just in the moment, how do you feel? Are you feeling or interpreting something in your body that maybe someone in their life has influenced you through this energy field, if that makes sense?

Okay. Okay. I understand what you're saying. Okay. Yeah. It's very interesting, but it's helped a lot of people out. Yeah. That sounds nice.

I like that. There is an episode, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sex, Love, and Goop on Netflix. What episode is it? number five or something yeah where she like explores it yeah it's very interesting the therapist told me to watch that to get the best explanation but it was good thank god for goop and thank god for gwyneth thank god okay guys well enjoy each other happy happy new year thank you we're gonna see you in april yes which show are you coming to albuquerque okay well i'll see you there awesome all right thanks guys yeah bye take care well that was very sweet yeah that was

sweet nice happy couples happy couples keeping families and couples together yeah do you think the reason that we're seeing this sort of influx of women who are actually in happy relationships is just because they're not going to put up with less like yeah women are putting up with less bullshit i like that you know that makes me happy younger girls are like that too like all these young girls like i don't want a boyfriend i don't want to my friend's daughters are like we don't want boyfriends I mean you know some of them have them but some of them don't like I think it really I also think when you grow up in a really loving household you don't feel the need to have to pair up I feel like that need to pair up sometimes is is derived from a lack of love in your own

household I mean I'm not saying anything that's you know that original obviously but you know the desire always to partnership and like that usually comes from feeling like not seen yeah like you're not enough without a second person. Yeah. Like you need and you don't need. You need an addition, not a subtraction. Yeah, for sure. All right. Well, there we go for our miniso for today. Okay, great. I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I will be touring from February through June. So go get your tickets now. If you want to come see me perform, I will be on the High and Mighty Tour. Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write into DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching

at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting

the dots between books, the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast we are at d23 so we'll see who stops by the cast of frozen stopped by kristin bell josh gad and adina menzel i auditioned for frozen what for kristoff they said okay what are you gonna be singing today i said i don't know that must have been why you didn't get it plus john stamos hayden christiansen from star wars and more and i guess i can share that uh listen to the latest episode of hey jonas on the iheart radio app apple podcast or

wherever you get your podcasts Hey, this is Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Each week we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.