Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Minisode: Offed in Bermuda with Rosebud Baker and Andy Haynes

Episode Date: October 18, 2024

Rosebud and Andy are back for more Couples Counseling with Chelsea to discuss becoming a better partner, jealousy of your partner’s success, and why Andy thought Rosebud’s family was ready to disappear him in Bermuda.   * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us.

Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions.

Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

welcome back to a couple's counseling with chelsea i am here with my friends rosebud baker and her husband andy haynes hi rosebud and andy thank you for being here today as a couple so as you have gotten to spend all these years together how many years have you been together now five it'll be five yeah that's not even that really long of a time but within the five years do you think that your performance within the relationship has improved um learning to get to know somebody meeting someone else's needs like how do you think that you have changed from the beginning of the relationship to now i think in the beginning of our relationship i genuinely had no idea how to be a partner to someone you're nodding andy she was never like a not compassionate don't nod but

when i when i first started dating rosebud she was like a feral child she was you would go into her cupboards and there would be like a half eaten open box of saltines and an empty Tabasco sauce. And that was her entire pantry. Like she, I wasn't home. I was on the road. And, um, you know, she just was, she had like one towel, you know, it was like very, it was just a very different person. Yeah. But I was always, I always decorated well. Let's just say that. And do you think you had a big hand and not changing her personality, but where her relationship, her ability to be within a relationship is now do you feel like you had a big hand in that I think I probably changed what she thought she needed out of a relationship maybe or like maybe I changed like

the type of partner she thought she needed is because I don't think I'm her type if you go back to 2019 and you're like pick a guy out of a lineup I don't think I'm I think I'm like in the waiting room you know and i'm number seven you know but i think that really changed a lot because rosebud's can i can i say this rosebud's dad is very stoic and you know how we're like usually attracted to people that are of course kind of like the opposite sex parent so i think that i was kind of the anti that to some extent because her dad is like immovable i went to it's like hugging a ghost yeah i went on a trip with him to the bahamas and i was like partially like does rosebud want a divorce and they're just gonna an accident's gonna happen like that's the whole time i was like

just divorce me like i won't fight you like you don't have to have me killed in the bahamas yeah if anything you've learned how to be less trusting in a good way yeah just by being a part of my family yes i want to be now that i've gotten a little taste of it and also less trusting or more trusting less i want to be so i want to be i want to be like one of the characters from hbo's industry I want to be a just a cold-blooded capitalist I would love it what impact do you think you've had on Andy since you've been married and now that you have a kid that I think Andy's learned how to kind of go okay my feelings aren't necessarily the facts I can get I can get through this day by just like planning ahead and getting what I need to get done done and and I can deal

with my emotions later. And I think, I don't even know if that's healthy, but it, it seems like it's balanced him out a little bit. Well, yeah, I mean, it sounds healthy. I mean, if you have an emotional reaction to everything, that's not conducive to being like an even and balanced because there's a time and a place for those kinds of emotions, just like there's a time and a place for certain conversations. Right. Yeah. So like, yeah, you, you want to be able to mitigate your emotional response in in certain situations yeah and then in other situations it's totally acceptable to be like you know if you think something's wrong with you internally and you feel your organs are suffering yeah you know what your organs feel like when they're moved around

yeah you know that is like you can have a reaction to that but that was a big change for us like when you had it was like earlier this summer when he was going through all of that i that was like a big wake-up call for me where i was like oh i gotta be a better partner about but also i don't like sick people yeah it's not i it's not hot it's not i don't like them either i get upset around sickness and i get up i feel yes it feels to me i'm like i i don't really afford myself it seems like a luxury and of course there's i'm not talking about people who are like you know deathly ill or people who are like what's the word when they're it never stops yes whatever but i'm talking about just like the flu or like really leaning into a sickness with a guy a few

weeks ago that i'm sleeping with who limped yeah went to dinner and i was like what's wrong with your leg yeah what are you why are you limping yeah it's like on my knee i'm like no no no i think there's something like animal in us where we like want them to be put down you know i mean I'm like, we're like, we got to leave the pack. You're slowing everybody down. You're a weak link. Right. I've always felt that about certain men, certain men where I was like, you're, because I'm

like, I'm kind of a pussy. I'm a huge pussy in a lot of ways. I think we've gotten. But I also could survive like for a month in the woods without any help. You know, like it's a weird. Well, you're obviously very bright. Yeah. But also I'm like, I was raised in this like wilderness and kind of outdoorsy and all that

stuff like that. and so I think I still have this thing where like if I meet a guy and I'm like you're pathetic you know like I just I have this weird animal thing where I'm like we gotta kill him we gotta he's gonna slow us down and we're gonna miss the winter we're not gonna be able to get over that pass and we'll all die and that's what happened to me when you had your ulcer I know so you understand yeah but I did realize I need to be a better partner but I'll say good yeah I do think the the biggest thing that i learned in the relationship recently is that i i have to keep certain things for certain people like i i do think like you can't go full don draper and have

like another family but you can go like i'm going through all this stuff and i'm not going to bring it to my wife or my kid or like the dinner table well the first thing is we don't eat at the dinner table but also also i'm so sick of the dinner table like who wants to sit down and have a full dinner every night i want to eat i want to eat on the sofa i want to eat on the floor i don't want the formality like i don't like that no i don't want to cook it style to me yeah it does we went to her grandpa's house in march and had like a big sit down dinner and all the people came and brought the food and i was like this is you know this is how it should be yeah like a sunday roast you want to be a you want to be a kennedy is basically what you want oh man and do you see

how dysfunctional that family is bring me on yeah i love it i'm already dysfunctional there's no shortcut for saving time but saving money is simple just combine your car and home insurance with bel-air direct and save get a quote at bel-air direct.com when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, Shut up. Don't say anything.

Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.

This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here.

It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. hey this is Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements we host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners each week we talk to someone in show business aka the biz and try to help them with their careers and see what

they have to offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman not that great actually can Can you help me shape this? How about we flip it on its head? How about we flip the script? What if the surprise woman, who actually you think is the straight man, is actually the one who's acting weird? Adam Scott. This entire time, you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show.

I would never expect. Let go of that. I have. I would never set expectations for something like that to happen. It seems like you did. If the universe allows for something like that to happen, I'm open to it. I'm always going to accept. You know, Danny McBride, fine.

Yeah. It's all this fragile masculinity exuding. I could smell it walking down the hallway, to be honest with you. I was like, is that weed? Nope. It's fragile masculinity. Ben Stiller, no. Because a lot of times, out of context, people don't get it or even know what a circle is.

You know what I mean? They're so stupid. Everyone's so dumb except for you. And fake. Right, fake and also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show

and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You mentioned early before that Rosebud is the breadwinner. so how as a modern man does that impact your your feelings about the relationship is that something that you've ever had to struggle with does that bother you did it bother you i definitely had to get used to it because there's kind of you might know this because you've been in relationships where you can be in a relationship where you're both kind of doing something and then all of a

sudden one person's doing this and there was this feeling when she started to get a bunch of stuff where I was like should we like be together like you're not gonna bring me on red carpets like a feeling like that like should we even be together because you're doing so well and it was like all insecurity and then I think I've gotten used to it I you know like I I think that it ebbs and flows and I think there'll be times where I'm probably doing a lot and she wants to not do as much but she also i mean she's so much better at making eye contact and being personable so maybe not you know but i haven't noticed your eye contact issue yet maybe you're i'm working on it i took my he's actively he's actively yeah i took my propanol so that i could look you in the eyes

during what we're discussing like you're burgeoning success like having it happen in the beginning how did that make you feel to see him feel that way I expected it a little bit and just to be clear like I don't I haven't achieved like anything that I actually want to achieve yet like I mean I've achieved more than I thought I would at the beginning but I this I don't even have a Netflix special out yet you know what I mean so it was kind of like it was good that we went through this early because I was like it's good to just get these feelings up and out like if you don't get them up and out and you don't like examine them and you don't look at them and go like oh this is probably bullshit I probably don't need to feel this way but this is how I'm

feeling then that's good but there was a part of me that got really upset and got really defensive you know there was uh defensiveness about just feminism on a feminism level you know like this would never be a conversation if you were doing better than me this would never be it but then I thought about it and I was like there have been comics that I've dated that were doing better than me and I did have those same feelings so I was like this is more about like us both being comedians than it is about men and women and I think at the end of the day that's just something that we have to we just got to support each other through it and like be there for each other through it yeah i think airing out that kind of stuff is so important because you the more longer

you ignore a problem you know the bigger it gets it comes outside if you're being dishonest about that and you're not being honest about your insecurities and labeling them like we're all insecure and it's impossible not to be envious of someone achieving something that you haven't yet achieved yeah so denying that is more problematic than actually exposing those feelings yeah and i won't like deny that like a lot of it came from like being a man you know like I was like I want her to design the living room and I just want to write a blank check because I make that kind of money and I provide for my family and there was a lot of that that I wanted and also there was like a competitiveness in comedy right like we're both comics and I'm so

progressive I get jealous of women comics too but you know it was like wow she's like doing a lot of the stuff that i want to do and uh so that was like it was all insecurity and i think we it was like bumpy but we like navigated it pretty well to like a place where it's like pretty comfortable and i i really did a lot of like even though i'm jealous even though i'm insecure type of stuff i'm like gonna make sure she knows i'm really proud of her you know because i think that was always really important that even if i had those feelings that i wanted her to know that I was like so stoked that she had got cast on something or that she got a job writing for something or now that she's like doing this special like it was always important for me

to for her to know that even if I felt some type of way well it's interesting though because you're saying it comes down to you guys being comedians and you're saying a little bit of both because I'm wondering if she were saying a little bit of both too yeah yeah because like if you were in the financial world and crushing it financially would that have had the same impact on you right so it is more I think about being comedians and being in the same business because that's just naturally competitive yeah it is and I think but he did he was like I remember when I my first day at SNL I came home and Andy had this big sign up that said congratulations you know and he was like waiting for me and was excited when I got home and I was like

and I knew how he felt you know so the fact that he was able to do that and kind of like rise above it meant so much to me because I I'm like you didn't even have to do that you know yeah and that's all for this week with Rosebud and Andy tune in next time as we continue couples counseling with Chelsea you can check out Rosebud and Andy's podcast it's called find your beach Andy will be on tour in Dallas Oklahoma City and Tulsa in September Amsterdam on October 25th and then he has two dates in milwaukee in december so check out his instagram and tiktok at i'm andy haynes h-a-y-n-e-s for tickets to those dates and for more and you can find both andy and rosebud on youtube rosebud will be taping her new special on september 16th in new york at the village

underground and you can get tickets to this and more of her dates at rosebud baker.com and you can find her on instagram and tiktok at rosebud baker upcoming shows that i have i'm coming to Texas. I'm coming to St. Louis and Kansas City. And then I will be in Las Vegas performing at the Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel. I'm coming to Brooklyn, New York at the King's Theater on November 8th. And I have tickets on sale throughout the end of the year in December. So if you're in a city like Philadelphia or Bethlehem or San Diego or New Orleans or Omaha, check ChelseaHandler.com for tickets. Okay. I survived nine months in captivity and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive

what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the Survivor Files. Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport.

And Sean Clements. We host the podcast, Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us.

Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Nick Turturro. You probably know me from NYPD Blue, The Longest Yard, or Spike Lee's Black Klansman. And on my new podcast, Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, I deliver pizza to a new guest. I've shared a slice with everyone, from Seth Rollins. What are you doing with my belt? To Bill Burr.

I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now, we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Turturro. It's called happiness. Delivering happiness. And many, many more. Open your free iHeartRadio app, search Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, and listen now. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.