Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Minisode: Oh-Nut with Chelsea + Catherine

Episode Date: August 22, 2025

Chelsea and Catherine discuss the problem with men, as well as followups from a caller whose partner’s oversized organ became an issue. * https://www.intimaterose.com/collections/vaginal-dilators  https://www.intimaterose.com/collections/pelvic-wands Pelvic Floor Wand Non-hormonal Vaginal Moisturizers: https://hellobonafide.com/products/revaree-plus  https://hyalogyn.com/  https://goodcleanlove.com/collections/shop-all-vaginal-care https://damiva.com/products/mae-by-damiva?srsltid=AfmBOopnU1kko0Bbua4mt0tiRT_mR7B-3FSwc0PKyXNnY-d6GaWwXFG0 * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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See the Jonas Brothers live at RBC Amphitheater September 28th. get tickets now at ticketmaster.ca jonas brothers the burning up tour all over again i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast?

We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by. The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know.

That must have been why you didn't get it. Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, Catherine.

Oh, hello, Chelsea. I just came from Ben Bruno, working out with Ben Bruno. Yeah? How's he doing? Well, he's not a great listener. He doesn't listen. He asks questions, but then he interrupts you with another question while you're answering the first question, and you're like, but wait, you're not listening to what I'm saying, which I know is kind of a male disease, but it's very specific to him that he's not a great listener. He'll be like, how does your body feel? He loves this question every day, every day, because I've been working out limited because of my foot.

I can't put any weight on my foot until I'm out of this boot, this hot, sexy boot, which is – I might keep this boot on just to keep men away from me because they're just – they can't stop with me. They're all over me. I was trying to explain. I was at Maria Shriver's for dinner the other night and I was trying to explain to her daughter how grossed out I am by men. And she was so confused. She's like, really? I'm like, you don't understand.

She's what, in her 20s? Back to a certain age, you are just disgusted. And I think it's also the time that we're living in, the political time we're living in, like men have become so disgusting. I mean, present company excluded. We're not talking about Brad. He's a very good egg. but like most men and we're talking straight men here yeah yeah yeah but i just like i can't even

stomach them it's just what we're experiencing culturally and because of this you know because of this administration it just makes you upset with men in general that we got to this point that men are so sensitive and their egos are so i watched this video on instagram yesterday of this woman going for a run and she passed a guy on her run yeah and then he had to come and pass her and she's like pacing her run she runs every day she runs like probably 10 miles you could tell by her body and face that she's got runner's face and body okay so yeah so she's like she's runs and she's and and she she sets her timer she knows exactly what her pace is and this guy she passes this guy then he passes her and then she starts videoing him because she's like

he's being weird he's rushing past her so he can't keep up the pace right because he needed to pass her so then once he slows down again she goes to pass him again and then he speeds up again so now she's racing him. So then she drops back again and is filming him. And he's basically out of breath, but will not let a woman pass him. And then makes the first left that he can possibly make to get out of it. Like, it's so pathetic. Like if your ego is that fragile, you know, it really makes me think about my own ego because obviously, you know, we all have to wrestle with our own egos and how big they are. And it makes you realize like how it's just so ridiculous. Yeah, but your ego is not fragile, like you said.

No, it's not fragile. But, you know, I do have, I wrestle with my ego. I wrestle with what I care about. Like, do you, why do you care about that? You know what I mean? Especially when I give off the vibe that I don't care about things. Like sometimes the persona I give off, I want to be more true than it is. Or then at times I feel like it is.

You know, when people are always like, you don't give a shit about anything. I'm like, yeah, I know. I love that person. You know, and then you do care. Yeah, you do care. You're like, oh, wait, I do care about this. yeah behind every night

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When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, Shut up. Don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming.

They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.

I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place.

Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz,

and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can can you help me shape this yeah how about we flip it on his head right how about we flip this around okay what is the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always

going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity yeah ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like they're like oh what's the state everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode but he's just so busy listen to hollywood handbook on the iheart radio

app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts um well should we jump into some follow-ups from previous episodes this was really a follow-up from our minisode we did with yamanika where a caller called in and she had the boyfriend with the penis that was too big oh yeah yamanika wanted the penis that was too big um yeah yes of course as much dick as she could possibly get. She'll be opening for me August 30th, by the way, in Vegas. For anyone coming to Vegas, she's my Vegas person. And like the theater there is so great. It's the best. It's wonderful there. It's the best gig. I mean, that was a windfall. Whatever, whoever, however karma works. Thank you.

To get you into the Chelsea Theater. I'm performing at the Chelsea Theater once a month in Vegas. I get to gamble once a month and I get to have a re-unarse with all my friends. I love it. That's great. Well, this is actually a follow-up from several listeners who called in we had sex therapists writing in about too big dicks that are too big yeah i don't even like saying the word dicks i hate that word penis very clinical what about bachuki that's our family term for it we used to call it i don't think we've heard that one yet bachuki is more of like a term if it's flaccid like no one's saying oh look at that hard bachuki you know what i mean because it's like bachuki is like for a baby like look at the little bachuki that's very

cute i mean because you can't say like penis in a romantic setting like you wouldn't like be hooking up and be like, penis? No, I didn't have a friend who did that. I'm like, that is, she was like, yeah, we always use the clinical words. I'm like, that is weird. I, yeah, dick suck. I don't like all of that anyway. Yeah. It would just be vague. Like bring that thing over here, I guess. Yeah, I know. We need to come up with a better word for dick. Yeah. So we had some sex therapists and pelvic floor therapists right in. Pelvic floor. Oh, right. We actually should be talking more about the pelvic floor. I'm like learning a lot about it and it's very, it impacts a lot Because when I was having my hip issues, my IT band popping out all the time, I was in Whistler.

There was this clinic, like, you know, one of those aesthetic clinics that they have this, like, machine that you sit on. And it basically, like, for your Kegel, it basically does Kegels for you. Like the electric shock type of thing? Yeah, so you're, like, tightening your Kegel. And any time I did that, my IT band would go back. Oh, like in a good way? Yeah, it would help correct it. So, yeah, your pelvic floor and Kegels are important.

But nobody's sitting around squeezing their vagina. let's be honest. I don't know. I had one friend who was having like all kinds of pain issues and actually two different friends. They were having all kinds of pain issues, like pain with urination, all this stuff. And so they were doing Kegels, Kegels, Kegels. But it turns out like with the specific issues they both had, which turned out to be the same thing, that was like the wrong thing to do. So once they saw a pelvic floor specialist, they like got the right exercises and like were out of pain. And it was something that had plagued them for like literally years. Yeah. There's merit to that for sure. And I think also my SI joint. SI joint is the thing that pops

in and out. Yeah. But all of that stuff is also like menopause related too, which I didn't realize how common everything is. I mean, it's hard to be a woman. But you have to fight it. You have to fight it every step of the way. You can't just give up. Yeah. Well, Becky wrote in and said, I'm a pelvic floor physical therapist for context. There's a wearable device for her partner that can help limit his depth of penetration. It's called the O-Nut by the Pelvic People. They're stackable medical-grade silicone rings that you can adjust and use how many you need for control of depth. Also, she can't take hormones, she said, but she can ask her doctor about the use of topical estrogen. Check with your doctor, everybody, but she says it's safe to use for anyone with a history

of hormone-positive breast cancers. It goes on just on the local tissue and is a very small amount, so it helps plump the tissue and rehydrate to decrease pain. Oh, wow. Yeah. And then we had another therapist, a sex therapist, who said to try Valium, but insert it vaginally, which I thought was like such a- Vaginal Valium. Yeah.

I'll try that. Please report back, Chelsea. Maybe that'll make me attracted to men again. Vaginal Valium. Just like, don't even worry about what's going on down there. Wait, so what is that device called where you limit the penetration? O-nut, O-H-N-U-T, which I think- O-H-N-U-T.

All one word. So that, I immediately, I'm like, so the man's penis doesn't go all the way in, so he'll be dissatisfied, but we don't care about that anymore. I mean, the tip is the most sensitive part. He'll be fine. Really? Yeah. I mean, that's like, then you might as well fuck a cupcake, right?

I mean, if you can't go very far. Yes. We'll have to get Jason Biggs on to discuss that. He's the one who knows about fucking cakes and pastries. That's true. And so someone else recommended pelvic floor massager and strengthening device, which is like a wand that you insert. Strengthening your vagina.

Yeah, your pelvic floor. Oh. And then someone else recommended. But does that create more space? Yes. Oh. And it like relaxes the muscle. It's like a curvy wand that you put in and you like massage it.

Oh, okay. To help strengthen. And then also just like, you know, when you like massage the muscle, it gets looser, I guess. Okay. That's what a sex therapist recommended, as well as non-hormonal vaginal moisturizers, which I think could be helpful for a lot of women. You insert them every four days, and we can link to those in the show notes, because she

sent a ton of links, and I'm like, this is so helpful. But yeah, the non-hormonal vaginal moisturizers, I feel like would be great for anybody who's dealing with dryness, going through menopause, any of that stuff. Okay, great. I love that feedback. That's helpful. Do you have a follow-up from the actual caller? I do.

She wrote in and said, hi, Catherine and Chelsea. I hope summer has been good to you. Thank you for forwarding all the other advice from other listeners. It was so exciting to hear the episode and share it with some close friends. Unfortunately, by the time the episode aired, he and I were no longer a thing. Before that, though, we did end up getting really into our groove sexually. I think my body just needed to adjust as I really didn't do anything other than get more used to it. Plus that Damiana supplement that I was on.

We ended up having one last incredible full day of sex after he picked me up from the airport one day. Like, the best we had, it was the best for him, too. Then I opened up to him about some childhood stuff, like neglectful parents, while we lay naked. Two months in, I thought I was safe to do that. Before leaving my apartment, he told me to get ready to meet his whole family at the Phillies game this summer and to save a date the following month for his nephew's wedding. Then the next day, he texted me, I'm not made for relationships. I think we should split.

We can talk on the phone, but I won't change my mind. And that's the last I heard from him. I was heartbroken, but I did get distracted from the heartbreak a month or so later and dated another guy for a bit. Great sex with a perfectly average penis, but the previous XL one ruined my perception, lol. I still think about him a lot, was thinking of texting him on his birthday. He and I just made sense in most ways. Anyways, that's the current update. It's funny because I'm flying to the same place for work again as I write this that I flew to when that happened with him and I.

Summer bookends. Best, Sally. I wish she hadn't said anyways. I mean that kind of ruined the whole letter but I guess I have to tolerate people saying anyways because fucking nobody will stop you know what I mean? It just happens so it looks like she could take the penis but she couldn't take it so it was a thing

that she couldn't handle then she could handle it as soon as it was over and now she's ruined for all other men I guess it's a tale as old as time great follow up thank you there's a vagina out there somewhere for that guy's penis his triangular double dick

oh wow triangles tricky tricky remember she said it was like it was like a giant triangle I don't remember that I think I probably blocked that call out whenever anybody describes a penis I just start to lose interest I'm not interested as a professional counselor as a drug rehab and medical gynecologist all of the labels that I am I'm not interested in hearing about penis size or shape okay well that's a wrap on our little mini-sode I don't know what to say now goodbye We'll see you next time. Goodbye.

So I added a couple of new dates. I'm not on tour yet, but I added a couple of dates just because I felt like we need a little bit more laughter and a little bit more medicine for the end of the year. And I was wrapping things up, but I thought maybe let me do a couple more. So I'm adding three more dates in addition to my Vegas residency. I'm headlining the Rochester Fringe Comedy Festival, September 13th, and I will be in Napa on October 3rd. So those will be my last dates of the year.

Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write into DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality welcome home pro society is a weekly podcast that's part book club part group chat for anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse each week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast?

We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by. The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know.

That must have been why you didn't get it. Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport.

And Sean Clements. We host the podcast, Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots

that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.