Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Minisode: Perspicacity with Chelsea + Catherine

Episode Date: September 5, 2025

Chelsea and Catherine learn about the need for a new vocab segment, a son wants his mom to move in, and an auntie gets caught playing favorites.   * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all?

And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability.

Bell. Connection is everything. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by.

The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it.

Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi. Hello. Hello, Chelsea.

Hello. How are you? I'm great. Thank you for feeding my meter today for me, because I'm incompetent and I can't park in a parking structure. I mean, I am incompetent when it comes to knowing what cars are, so I knew it was a silver car. There were a lot of silver cars, and I definitely had to, like, beep the key words to figure out which one. It's great it's gray, first of all, but okay. And I—yesterday, you guys gave me, like, a—I want to say certification.

Validation. You guys gave me validation for my car, and I get down to the parking lot, pull out. I have everything but the fucking ticket, of course, and I'm a hot mess, you know. Everything's a hot mess with me. And so I'm like, fuck it. I pay $25 to record my own podcast. And then this morning I get out of the car and there's the validation ticket. I'm like, this is a mess.

Everything I do is a mess. You know what? It's okay. We're going to give you validation. I know. It's like somebody needs to just come and park my car every single day. Well, I have a suggestion from a listener that I thought was kind of funny. Is it for me personally?

Kind of. I love it. I am actually curious what you're going to think about this. Okay, great. Justine says, she wrote in, and her subject line of her email is, you think Rob Lowe knows what perspicacious means, vocab queen? She said, dear Chelsea, I think my vocabulary is pretty respectable, particularly for an American at this point in time.

Yet my workouts are routinely interrupted when I have to pause and Google the definition of some big word, one that you know damn well your guest does not know the meaning of. You think Rob Lowe knows what chicanery means? Perspicacious? Please. He's too beautiful and so am I. I mean, you're a goddamn hero for our culture. You're educating the masses, but you're also interrupting my flow. So here's my pitch. Can you decode your superior dialect for the rest of us plebeians at the end of each episode so we can all become less stupid together? Maybe it can be a new mini segment. Thanks in advance, Justine. Yeah, that's a great idea. I know. I was like, I love that.

I love that idea. Vocab words. We all need to build our vocab. Yeah, yeah, for sure. So now when I hear like big words, I'll just, we'll just do a little. And just to clarify, perspicacious means very perceptive. Yeah. So I'm just being a cunt by saying perspicacious because I love the way, because it's such

a mellifluous word. There's another word. There you go. Euphonious, mellifluous. Words that roll right off your tongue or that are fun to say, I love to say. Perspicacious is one of them, like perspicacity, but you could say- Perspicacity. Perspicacity is another version of perspicacious, right?

Yeah. You know, it's another tense. But it basically just means very perceptive. Yeah, that's right. Chicanery is something that just means like silliness and foul play. Not foul play. Like silliness and like – Hijinks.

Like hijinks, yeah. Like you're up to shenanigans. Chicanery is shenanigans. Yeah, which I certainly had to Google after the first couple times you used it. Yeah, yeah. But I have like about 15 words that I rotate that I love. There you go. And then I throw in some new ones all the time.

But I'm like you. When I hear a word I don't know, I have to look it up immediately. Yeah, yeah. Well, we'll add that in, and we'll just start doing a little segment at the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Full cap words. That's cute. Yeah.

Well, our first caller today is Dwayne, and it's a little bit of a long email, but no one loves a long email more than Catherine. And I cut them down. That's the thing. I cut them down. This is probably a third of what it was. So Dwayne says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a diehard fan of yours and have followed your career for decades, and I never miss an episode of Dear Chelsea.

This podcast keeps me sane during my 30-mile commute each way to and from work. I'm 47 and an only child. My dad passed away suddenly of heart issues in 2004. He and my mom were married for over 30 years at the time of his passing. For the first few years following, she never had an interest in dating or finding another partner. Then she met Bob somewhere around 2015. At first, I didn't mind Bob. He was a little annoying because he always had to be a part of every conversation and topic.

He's hard of hearing and refuses to get a hearing aid. He talks a lot about himself and has a story about himself for almost every topic. Even though he could be painful to be around, he seemed to care for my mom and treat her well. He moved into her house somewhere around six months into their relationship. I should mention Bob had supposedly been married twice. Eventually, I came to find out that Bob was not just sometimes annoying, but he was also misogynistic, a know-it-all, dishonest, and quite frankly, an asshole. My mom had kicked him out after she had discovered he lied to her about being twice married. Turns out he was in the middle of a divorce from his third wife, not to mention she caught

him talking to a woman on a dating site. Jump ahead about six months after she kicked him out, and I heard through the grapevine that she was back with him. I confronted her, and she came clean that he was back in the picture. I voiced my concerns and said how much I disapproved, and she could find someone so much better. He was trying overly hard to get my approval by forcing conversations, no matter if it's a topic he knows I have no interest in. I try to have the minimum interaction with him as possible and still remain respectful,

but I'm the type of person who can't hide my thoughts and I speak my mind. I will give him credit that he does accept me for being gay, but honestly, it's one of the very few things about him that I will say is positive. They sleep in separate bedrooms, and when I ask my mom why she stays with him, she says his company is better than nothing. I've even tried to get her to move either close to me and my husband, but I haven't had much luck. With her being 80 and soon to be 81 in a couple months,

I don't want anything to happen where I regret something or that Bob takes time away from me and my mom. What can I do to either convince her to leave him, leave him by moving us, or just get the situation to change? But that means he would have to change. Additionally, I'm going to stay with them for a bit after she has hip surgery in a couple months. How am I going to survive that much time with Bob? Dwayne. Hi, Dwayne. How are you? Hi. Good. How are you? Thanks for taking my question. Yeah. I appreciate it. Of course. Of course. Do you really think there's reality of your mom leaving him? Sometimes, sometimes not. So there's, so there's times that she actually will be, she'll come to come visit us in Washington and she doesn't tell him

that it's planned until like a week before she's going to leave. And she'll, she will have known for a while and stuff. And so she does some stuff to annoy him because of how much he annoys her sometimes and stuff too so i think i think she needs that extra push and stuff but she's also in the town she grew up in and that's also where my dad is buried and her parents are buried and her brothers and stuff too and her she has one brother still there but she does have one brother over here in Washington as well I'm very protective of my mom of course and so one of the things that breaks my heart is that she is more in like a roommate type of situation and that she basically lives in her upstairs she's always doing like diamond painting crocheting and stuff

like that to but doesn't interact with him as much and so it's more of a lonely thing definitely and I don't know how to I don't know how to kind of break that or try to get her out of something that is more just where she feels kind of stuck I guess or that is just better than nothing. This is a situation where I feel like going into a senior living situation, we're not talking necessarily assisted living, although she might need that like with the hip surgery coming up and everything, but like a sun city, like is there anything like that by you? I mean, those are places that are designed to help you continue to have social interaction and like not just with one person, but there's activities all day long. She can participate as much or as little

as she wants, but you're in a community of other people who are like you and you don't just have this one person who's like living in your house. Yeah, that's a good idea. Me and my husband have talked about that, but I haven't really brought it up to her necessarily. Well, I mean, if she's getting this hip surgery, listen, if that's even on the table that she would be open to like leaving him, then and getting this hip surgery would be the perfect kind of break because she can move into one of these facilities. You could move in with her while she's healing. And that could be her introduction into one of those places, into a retirement community. But I don't know how realistic that is. I mean, that you're going to convince her to... Because there's other company

to be had, absolutely. If she were a lot younger, I would say go for it. I would say go for it at any age. But I mean, it just might not be a reality. She is living with a roommate. And if that's the case, why not meet a bunch of other people that could be much more fun to be around and play games with and socialize with. If she's not sleeping in bed with him either, I mean, that's pretty common for older people at this point. I mean, nobody likes to sleep with each other at this age. Yeah, they don't really have a whole lot in common.

Yeah. So for him, it's all about sports. My mom couldn't care less about sports. Right. And so she likes her Hallmark movies and stuff like that. I want to hang out with your mom, diamond painting and watching Hallmark movies. Why don't you go and...

Did you say there was a place that you saw, like a retirement place that would be appealing for her? Is there any place, like would she move where you guys are? I know you said like half her family is buried there. Yeah, so I would really like her to. I don't know how realistic it is that she would actually pick up and move. She owns her home, so it's a matter of selling her house and everything, which I don't think she's opposed to because there is a retirement community back in her town that she has told me before that she wouldn't mind going to. And it's, it's a, it's a senior community and they have ones that are

like condos and cottages and stuff. So it's not full on like apartment. It's almost like a Grace and Frankie type of place in a way. Well, that would be great. I mean, but would he want to come with her to that if that were an option? Cause even then she's a, she's surrounded by other people you know what I mean so that would open up her socializing yeah it's it's possible that he would he would want to because it is her house that they live in that's kind of the other thing that I'm also afraid of is that if something does happen to her how much of a nightmare is it going to be with him of wanting to try to take stuff that isn't his or try to say that there's common law. They're not married, right? No, they're not. Okay. You got to see an elder law

attorney. Not just an estate planner, but an elder law attorney. And they'll help you put protections in place to follow the bloodlines and that sort of thing. This hip surgery is a perfect excuse to do all of this stuff. You know what I mean? You want to get everything in order in case something goes wrong. It won't. But as a responsible son, this is what you have to do for her. I've spoken, you know, get your ducks in a row that you've spoken to an elder law attorney. You've spoken to an estate planner. You want to make sure that if anything happens to her, that Bob doesn't, is his name Bob? Yeah. Bob doesn't get all of her money, doesn't get her house. She doesn't want that, I'm sure, you know? And then open up the conversation to her

potentially. Or what I would love to see happen is for you to move into a retirement community where you could actually have some friends around who have more in common with you than Bob does. And more importantly, do you really want to be in this relationship with Bob at this point? Like, what about transitioning you into this retirement community? I'll stay with you. We can sell your house. We can get you better while you're recovering from hip surgery. And we can kind of move your life into a different direction, which I think would be more positive for you.

I mean, there's no harm in suggesting all of these things. Right. Yeah. And what I have suggested to her is we have a fairly big lot. and we were talking about you know getting her a tiny home and putting it on our on our property where she was basically our neighbor in a way she still has independence she's we're right there we have we have a dog that she calls her her grand puppy and stuff so she would be all in her glory with him and stuff or even adding on to our house and and stuff too but me and my husband

have talked about the senior community but never I never really approached her and I think that makes a lot of sense though with you know having an excuse of her hip hip replacement surgery as part of that of this is a great place for for you to heal you'd be able to have like a community of people around that you'd be able to make friends with at the same time and not just be sitting around bored and nurses and stuff see what their nursing situation is like if do they have that on some of those places do and some of those places don't. But I think for this, for the specifics of this, like you're not, you're not pawning her off to these people that you want to make clear. You're going to be involved with in whatever happens.

Even if she moves into this place, you're still going to be there to help her with her hip after. And at 80, like she doesn't necessarily even want to be taking care of a whole house. Like that becomes a lot of work for someone as they age. So this, I mean, just present all these options. Like we can talk about a tiny home. We can talk about like, let's go see this place that's nearby you while I'm here, like before you get your hip surgery, like there's a lot of conversation you guys can have. Right. Yeah. That's, that's a good idea. I think that that's probably a good way to go. And there's the option of, if she wants to stay there, that there's one there that she has shown a little bit of interest in from like a few years ago that she mentioned.

And then even in my area, there's quite a few around my area, not far away. I would say within anywhere from one to five miles maximum from our house. Yeah. Great. So get this stuff going. This hip surgery is actually a blessing in disguise in terms of all these conversations. And then also get the estate planning sorted

so that that guy doesn't, you know, because she's going to want to be reminded of that too. Right. She doesn't want that to, you know, happen. Like if anything were to happen, she definitely doesn't want him to get her house based on what you're telling us. Yeah.

Right. Right? Yeah, that's a good idea. Thanks, Dwayne. Thank you. I appreciate it so much. I really am thankful for the advice and the help and even not even just my question, all the advice that you guys give other people, I find some of it, you know, pertaining to

me a little bit. I take a little bit of that every episode. Love that. Love that. Well, thanks for calling in and you're a great son. I'm glad you're taking care of your mom. Okay. Thank you.

Take care. All right. Bye. Well, we'll take a quick break and wrap up with a quickie. Okay, and we'll be back in a minute. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite?

Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish Episode 8 before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney+, from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.

I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club part group chat for thought daughters pop culture obsessives and anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse i'm eli rallo and every week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and the conversations everyone can't stop having i'm gonna have to look up this story i'm obsessed i'm obsessed from best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments nothing is off the table it's Like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse.

Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility.

Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. We're back. We're back. That was so fast. Okay. Anne says, well, she writes in her subject line is picking favorites. Dear Chelsea. I love favorites. I live in Pennsylvania and have a large family who lives all over the country. My sisters both have kids. Since my older sister had her kids first, I feel a strong bond with three of her four, three of her four kids. The fourth is just okay. And I don't feel it as much with my middle sister's oldest child. I just came home from visiting my middle sister's newborn with her new husband. And I've never experienced that sort of baby fever and love before. I'm 30 years

old for reference and child-free living my best life. I wonder if part of the reason I'm closer with my oldest sister's kids is because I was younger and had fewer responsibilities. So being an aunt was more of a priority, and I would visit home all the time. Now I have a life, and I'm tired. Since meeting my freshest nephew, I have a newfound desire to spend more time with my family, but I want to be a better aunt to my sister's oldest daughter, whom is the least favorite. How do you spread the love and not choose and subliminally advertise favorites, Anne? Well, I would just know you've already chosen your favorites. Like, okay, that's obvious. but go and put in the time to the one that you haven't, that has been neglected. She'll

appreciate that. It's go spread the love and make an actual effort to be like, okay, you know what? I fucked up here. I didn't give her the right amount of energy. I had my other favorites. It was very obvious to everyone. And I'm going to go put in the time and effort now. Absolutely. It's never too late. You know what I mean? And especially because they're growing and changing and getting more interesting. Make sure that she knows you're making the effort. You know what I mean keep showing up and if you don't get the response you want that's okay but just keep making yourself available to her yeah and like little little gestures one-on-one dates and gestures one-on-one dates gestures noticing what they like yes you know getting her little trinkets

or gifts of stuff that you know she likes or you know if there's a movie or an actress that she likes making sure you send her clips of that person on like dms stuff like that or take her to movies when they come out, like, I know you really love Marvel. I'm going to take you to this movie, you know, when it comes out, like just pay attention to what her interests are and try and figure out a way for you guys to connect. Yeah. You're such a good auntie. Um, okay. Thanks guys for listening. Make sure you go to chelseahandler.com to find tickets for my, um, standup shows for the rest of the year. There's only like five or six. So come see me, come see me live. It's going to be a good time guys. Bye. Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write into

DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.

These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.

Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the Internet and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by. The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen.

What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it. Well, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh...

No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller,

and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.