Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Minisode: Pikachu vs. Kaslapus with Chelsea + Catherine

Episode Date: January 2, 2026

Chelsea and Catherine get an update from a caller who married his longtime love and assess a friend-zoning situation. * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. The new Red Bull Dragonberry and Tropic Berry Energizers, now at McDonald's. Made with freeze-dried fruit and an electric burst of flavor. The all-new Red Bull Energizers, now at McDonald's. This product may not be right for you. High in caffeine. Details at mcdonalds.ca and participating Canadian restaurants, excluding Quebec. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files.

Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. each week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts did you hear the new episode

of the hey jonas podcast we are at d23 so we'll see who stops by the cast of frozen stopped by Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Adina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it.

Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the High and Mighty Tour.

I'm coming to Washington, D.C., Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago, of course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Mesa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri, St. Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham, North Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modesto, California, and Port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington. I will be touring from February through June. So go get your tickets now. If you want to come see me perform. I will be on the high and mighty tour. Hello, Catherine. Oh, hi, Chelsea. How are you? I'm feeling very deep throated today. Yes, I kind of am too. I don't know. Is it the weather? Maybe, maybe. I smoked a little bit of a joint. So well, I have a really fun update. So I'm not

sure if you remember Wit from our John Lovett episode. He was getting serious with his girlfriend and wanted to propose but wasn't sure about telling her family that he's trans. Oh, yes. I remember. Yes. We loved Witt. And I think we did update that they got engaged and that was all very happy. So I got a very special email this week.

This email is from Aaron. So Aaron says, hi, Chelsea. I couldn't help but think of you and the experience you shared with my son, Witt, when he appeared on the Dear Chelsea podcast last year. This is Witt's mom. I've been a longtime listener of Chelsea's podcasts and have enjoyed her episodes on Netflix and YouTube for years. Whit and I even binge watched some of them together when I visited him in Montreal.

So I was thrilled when Catherine arranged for Whit to be on the show and have the chance to ask Chelsea and John questions about his dating relationship. Shortly after the episode aired, Whit proposed to Anne. She said yes. The heart of the episode was about whether Whit should tell Anne's parents that he's trans before they got engaged. Chelsea and John suggested it really shouldn't matter either way. As it turns out, Anne's parents are incredible people.

They were extremely understanding and expressed that they were honored Witt and Anne shared that part of their story with them. They emphasized that it didn't change how they felt. It simply didn't matter to them in the best way. Witt's experience on Dear Chelsea gave him confidence and validation beyond what I could have imagined. The respect and dignity Chelsea and John brought to the conversation through their openness, inclusion, and compassion was truly refreshing. As Witt's mom, I want to say how much I appreciate all of you. Today, I'm flying to Montreal for Witt and Anne's wedding, and I felt it was the perfect time to reach out

and express my gratitude for the kindness you showed. Warmly, Erin. Oh, my God. I know. Wow. I know. It's just, like, so lovely. Keeping families together.

That's what we're doing, keeping families. I mean, to get a thank you letter from someone's mother is, like, the best gift ever. I know. It's so delightful. So thank you so much for writing in, Erin. And by the way, what a beautiful model and blueprint for anyone who is dealing with anyone,

you know, the way that this couple reacted to finding out that their new son-in-law is trans is so beautiful. Like it has absolutely no impact on them. And then they thanked him for sharing something so personal. That is how we treat people. And for Aaron to be,

obviously this woman who has a child who maybe things went a little differently than expected as Whit grew up, but guess what? Erin loves wit and is accepting, and these families have come together. It's beautiful. It's just all really nice. It's beautiful.

This is the way the world should be going around. Everyone should be accepting of everybody, regardless of anything. You should be able to accept and look at everybody as a human being. Yeah. The new Red Bull Dragonberry and Tropic Berry Energizers, now at McDonald's. Made with freeze-dried fruit and an electric burst of flavor. The all-new Red Bull Energizers, now at McDonald's. This product may not be right for you.

High in caffeine. Details at mcdonalds.ca and participating Canadian restaurants, excluding Quebec. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable.

I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is the trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts see you between the pages hey this is hayes davenport and sean clements we host the podcast hollywood handbook on the big money players network our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners each week we talk to someone in show business aka the biz and try to

help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can you help me shape this how about we flip it on its head how about we flip the script what if the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting

weird Adam Scott this entire time you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show I would never expect I would never set expectations for something like that to happen

if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like Everyone's so dumb except for you. And fake.

Right, fake and also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, Ricky says, Dear Chelsea,

I've been a fan of Chelsea since the Chelsea Lately Days. My sister and I would chat, recapping your hilarious shows often, and we saw you live in New York many years ago. Anyway, I recently came across your podcast and have been listening and loving hearing the humor that I always enjoyed with my sister. Anyway, I don't need advice, but I have a ridiculous question. Pikachu versus Kaslapas.

Why do you sometimes say one versus the other? Different words say meaning, or is there more of a distinction? Just stupidly curious. Thanks, Ricky. Great question. I love it. Pikachu is just a softer way to say I feel like Kaslapis sounds like sloppy sea bass

like it sounds like fish you know what I mean Kaslapis is like Pikachu is like oh you have a cute little vagina you know that's a nice way to say vagina it's the nicest way to say vagina vagina is a terrible word it's not good and so Pikachu

I don't like the word pussy I mean I like calling men pussies but I don't like saying you know come lick my pussy no one says that So gross. Should we name this mini-sode? I can't even repeat that sentence. I'm going to have to use too many asterisks if we do that.

Yeah, in our family, it's tootie, but it wasn't when I was growing up. That came from my sister's college friend, but now we call it a tootie. But a tootie is a fart also, like a toot, you know, in some families. Yeah, I suppose it could be. In my family growing up, my parents called it your body, which is very confusing. That is absolutely the wrong – they would call that your body. Oh, well, make sure to wash your body when you're in the shower. No, it doesn't work.

No, I like beaver also, but that's not for, you know, I mean. Everyday consumption. It depends. I mean, I guess for me it is. I can pretty much say, I mean, there's nothing wrong with beaver, but I actually make a note to myself to start using beaver more often. Well, our caller today is Liz. She says, Dear Chelsea, about six months ago, I broke up with my first long-term boyfriend.

He was not good for me, and it took me a while to realize it. the relationship ultimately ended because he wanted me to convert to catholicism but truly he wanted my leftism politics to more align with his right-wing tendencies looking back i can now see his behavior was controlling and somewhat abusive at times he was the classic love bomber that withdrew whenever he couldn't get control of me in some way there were times i'd call him out for attempting to gaslight verbally intimidate and physically control me he would always become super defensive and try to put the blame on my mental state rather than take responsibility for these things. Needless to say, after getting out of that relationship, I've been in somewhat of an

apathetic state about men since the breakup. I want nothing to do with any characteristic of my ex, so I've been mostly going out with guys knowing that it will lead nowhere. Well, I met a really sweet guy on the dating apps. He seems the complete opposite of my ex. We're politically aligned, share a ton of interests, and he puts in a ton of effort. The problem is, I'm not that attracted to him. I totally want to be, but I've given it a few months and still feel no attraction to him. My question is, am I just continuing my patterns of falling for unhealthy relationships due to my insecure, anxious attachment style? On paper, this new guy has everything I should be looking for, but I can't help but feeling there's a lot of the chemistry missing. This

leaves me thinking about the chemistry I had with my ex. I know that relationship wasn't healthy, but why do we look back with blinders feeling like that was the relationship that had something when the new guy on paper looks so perfect? Do you think I should give up on this new guy and keep looking for someone I'm more attracted to. I'm a little scared that my little self, quote unquote, is calling the shots. And the reason I'm not feeling the attraction is because I'm still drawn to the avoidant controlling person, Liz. Hi, Liz. Hello, Chelsea. Hi. Okay. So first of all, I think you're doing, this is great. There's so many people that call in and they don't even know how to begin the process of dating. And I'm so glad that you're already doing

it and you understand what you're, that you're avoidant, anxious or anxious avoidant. Is that what, yeah, you said, okay. Anxious avoidant that you got away from that ex-boyfriend, that's over. What you're realizing is that you don't have chemistry with this new guy. That's okay. You don't have any chemistry with him. Then that's it. There's nothing happening there. But don't confuse the chemistry you had with the other guy as a sign that you should be with that guy. You just know what chemistry feels like and what a good guy feels like. So you, you have, you have identified all of the things that you want in your romantic relationship. You want somebody who's reliable, who's good on paper, who's going to be honest, who's going to be

thoughtful and caring and not manipulating and not controlling. And you also want to have chemistry. That's great. That's a victory. You know exactly what you want and you're going to find it. And it's just a numbers game. And don't stay with some guy that you're not attracted to. There's nothing you could do about that. You've given it a couple of months. If you would give, if it were three weeks, I'd say, give it a couple of months, but you've given it a couple of months. You've tried. You're not attracted to him. You don't have to be attracted to everybody. I wish I could be attracted to more people. Do you know what I mean? I'm sure you feel the same way. I'm like, oh God, I wish I could be attracted to you. You seem easy, but we've identified all of the things that you're

looking for in a relationship. You're winning. You are winning. You are on your way to finding somebody. Just stick with it and just know in your heart what you're going to settle for. You're not going to go back to a guy that's controlling or domineering in any way. and you're not going to settle for somebody that isn't exactly what you're looking for. Yes. I knew you would say something just like this, Chelsea, but I was making sure that I wasn't, you know,

just writing off this new guy because I'm looking for something else. But no, I think I know. I just needed to hear it, I guess. Yeah, and listen, if you end it with this guy and in a couple of months, you're still thinking about him, then guess what?

Then you can go back and go, God, wow, I made a mistake. Yeah. So yeah, just trust yourself, really trust yourself and listen to yourself. You're identifying all of the things that are important to you in a relationship and that's, you're ahead of the game. Yeah. And I think like teasing apart this idea of having chemistry with someone from what you had with your ex, which was not just chemistry. I'm sure you had that too, but what he also gave you were these like adrenaline hits and dopamine hits of I never know what's coming next. Like when you have those arguments with people and they

have your nervous system all out of whack, you are getting rushes of adrenaline every single time that happens. So that can also be very addicting. And that's a different thing than just like having chemistry with someone. At the same time, if you don't have chemistry with this new guy, you don't have chemistry. It's friend zone, right? But at the same time, you may find dating someone who's like this guy that you do have chemistry with and you find yourself like, is this person too boring for me? That I think is the thing you want to maybe give a little more time to if you find yourself feeling that because you're not getting those dopamine and adrenaline hits of just like surges of hormones. Right. And sometimes like the steady eddies at the beginning

can be like, is this boring or is this is this just kind of fine? So maybe give yourself a little more time if you find yourself in one of those. That's but that's what you're aiming for. Right. somebody who's not constantly a roller coaster. Sure. Yeah, that makes sense. A lot of sense. Okay, Liz, you have some friend zoning to do. Okay. Got it. Got it. Bye, Liz. Thanks for going. Thank you so much. I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I will be touring from February through June. So go get your tickets now. If you want to come see me perform, I will be on the high and mighty tour. Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write into DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching

at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com. i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced these are stories about what it takes to make it out alive listen to the survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality,

welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts did you hear the new episode of the hey jonas podcast we are at d23 so we'll see who stops by the cast of frozen stopped by kristin bell josh gad and adina menzel i auditioned for frozen what for kristoff they said okay what are you going to be singing today i said i don't know that must have been why you didn't get it

Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B.

I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.