Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Minisode: Single White Female with Chelsea + Catherine

Episode Date: September 19, 2025

Chelsea and Catherine get a Friends-with-Benefits followup and hear from a mother-daughter-duo who inspire stalkers.  * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Bell. Connection is everything. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by.

The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it.

Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh, no way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus,

or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, Catherine, how are you? Hi, Chelsea. We're here for another mini-sode. Mini-sode. Welcome to a mini-sode. So I have a follow-up from Carly, who called in way back on our Lauren Lapkus episode. She was ready to move on from situationships, was sleeping with a coworker, and felt like she was kind of falling for him and wanted to tell him our advice was to tell him how she was feeling. So she says, hey there, thanks for checking in. I unfortunately don't have

a success story to fill you in on. I did take Chelsea's advice, and it didn't pan out. I started dating again and met some interesting guys. This time around, I felt like the ball was in my court and I had the power. It took the pressure off of dating and I just decided I wanted to have fun with it. One guy showed promise, but then unfortunately, I started getting the ick.

I actually started things up again with the guy I was sleeping with after a bunch of failed attempts at dating again. Dating can get exhausting and I'm unfortunately impatient. I'm still hopeful that I'll meet the one, but for now, I'm just focusing on making money, traveling, and having my friends with benefits. Thanks again for checking in, Carly.

that was with the boss or what not with the boss this was like a while ago she was like sleeping with a co-worker and she was getting the feelings they were like

friends with benefits yeah right and he wasn't okay okay copy that well great you have your answer and now you're happier

so I was right yeah like you got your information you found out yes that's good this is progress and now she's enjoying her life

I love this like focusing on making money traveling and having fun with my friends yeah and having a good time amazing and also let's all just get out of the idea

of that there's one person out there for us agreed That's just so silly. That's impossible. There's 9 billion people on the planet almost now. I think there are better people and worse people. I don't even know how many people are on the planet.

That's a lot. It's too many. It's a lot. It's too many. And there's not just one. There are multiple people out there for you. So it's like if it doesn't work out, it's not like you're meeting your – there's no such thing. I mean, like, yeah, I believe in, you know, you can have a connection with someone.

But that can go for your mother, your sister, your daughter, your dog, you know, your neighbor. Like, there's a lot of soulmate versions out there. So don't think of it as, like, there's one person. There's more than one person that you can match with. Just like you said, more than one dog. Right. Yeah. Mimsy turns 10 tomorrow, by the way.

Oh, happy early birthday to Mimsy. I'm, like, excited for her to have a birthday, but I'm also like, please stay as young as possible, as long as possible. Oh, you could just clone her. You know, it crosses my mind. It crosses my mind. She is the dog I've always had very, like, a lot of anticipatory grief about. Like, even since she was a baby, I'm like, never die. With the other two, I'm like, I love you, but, you know, eventually it'll be your time.

Yeah, exactly. So Alexis wrote in and says, Dear Chelsea, my mom has been in a bit of a dilemma for quite some time. All of my mom's friends, honestly, suck. They're total drains, and she has met women like this over and over. It makes no sense because my mom is a total badass, super fun, outgoing, loyal, and funny as hell. I don't understand how crap women keep seeking out my mother and befriending her. She's had friends become stalkers, single white female type situations, or just trauma dump on her.

They never ask how she's doing, and Chelsea, it really pisses me off. I wish you guys were friends. I would love to do a video call with my mom and gain advice on what to do moving forward. It makes me sad my mom's best friend and all of her friends are just a selfish AF. I have a lovely group of girlfriends myself, so it makes me sad that this is the hand my mom has been dealt. Please help Alexis. Hi, Alexis.

We have mom too, right? Who is Shaka. Hi, how are you? Good, how are you? I'm good, thanks. Your mom is Shaka Khan? Yes, she is. That's great.

I love a mother-daughter duo dynamic. That's my favorite. And Shaka said they're best friends. She said, my daughter's my best friend. I think that's very sweet. Yes, we are. Here I am. Hi.

Hi Shaka Khan. How are you? Good. How are you? So nice to meet you. You're so cute. Look at this two cutie pies. I love it. I love it. Your daughter thinks all of your friends are assholes. They are. They've been pretty, they've been pretty crappy to be honest. Really? What do you think the problem, what do you, Alexis, what do you think the problem is? I don't know if it's because like her personality is so like magnetic in a way that people are jealous kind of, like maybe they don't know who they are so they just cling on to her yeah the same way she is yeah well people are attracted to like happy positive people so that makes sense yeah i mean it's a compliment really i know and you know and here's what i'll say a lot of people say i should

take it as a compliment and and i do a hundred percent i do but at some point it becomes violating. Give me some examples. So I had one gal and I knew her, she was a family member by marriage and she, he went crazy on me and like bought my car, would drive by my house in my car. I planned a trip to go to Tulum, Mexico. She bought her entire family a trip to Tulum, including like a single white female. It was severe. She would drive by my house consistently you know I feared going in my yard so you know at some point I am worried for my safety to clarify something did she buy the car from you or she bought the same model of car you have no she just bought the same and she would leave me notes saying what I can read you one

and it was pretty severe she just said um because at some point I blocked her on every social media account i'm like okay i need to distance myself this is becoming unsafe and then she started sending me messages via pinterest she would follow my god and she would say things you may have blocked me on every social media platform but if you don't think that i know what you're doing you're fucking delusional i will spend eternity plotting your just rewards c-u-n-t this doesn't sound like a friend this sounds like that's a different level that's a stalker psycho yeah she wouldn't let me go she wouldn't let me go like I tried to disconnect several times throughout our relationship and she sunk her teeth in deeper to me so you know at some point

these women I think that they do have a love for me in the in the in the beginning I think that they want to find the strength that I maybe have I'm pretty strong gal and I'm very much an individual. And so I don't think that these women are, and they are seeking that, but at some point it becomes, I'm no longer talking to them. I'm talking to me. I don't even know what to say next because they've taken the words like literally right out of my mouth. And is this situation, cause this is an extreme situation. This has happened to multiple friends of yours that they want to mimic your behavior and kind of emulate your whole life. It is, it is. And it's, it's become to the point now where when I meet a woman, I actually will go right into that conversation

to kind of feel out. Yeah, that's smart. If this is going to happen again to me, I'm like, this cannot be happening again and again like this. There is something that I'm maybe putting out there that is, I don't know. I don't know that I'm attracting this kind of person over and over again. So what do you say when you meet friends now? Like, how do you explain this? What do you say? Like, hey, listen, I get a lot of my friends turn into stalkers. I have to make sure you're not fucking crazy. Pretty much. Pretty much. Maybe in a little gentler way. Right. Right. I do. I do just come right out and say, hey, you know what? I've had some issues in the past, you know, with women. And I don't necessarily, you know, hey, are you one of these women?

But I almost have like a spidey sense for it now because it's happened so frequently. So I'm super hypersensitive to it, which kind of deters me from wanting to move forward with any women. Yeah, I understand what you mean. I think you probably are. First of all, do you trust your judgment at this point to be able to kind of suss out who is going to be like stable and who's going to be unstable? Absolutely. I'm 53 now. So I feel like 50s are a whole new ballgame. Yeah. And I do feel like I've got it pretty well dialed where I can feel out if I'm going to be a supply source to these people. Right. So that's that's kind of where I'm at now, but I know I need women in my life. I know I need a good group of women. I

would love a good group of women, like a posse. It feels like you should hang out with your daughter and her friends. They sound more normal. Believe me, I do. Okay. Well, that's good. Listen, I think you're on the right track. Like you've identified the issue. You've made changes in how you're approaching your friendships. Your daughter's aware you're on the same page. It's not like you and your daughter are in conflict on this matter where she's saying one thing and you're saying that that doesn't happen. You're admitting it's true. It's a compliment that people are attracted to you. It's a compliment that people want to mimic your lifestyle and emulate the way that you live. That's a compliment. Obviously, you don't want people driving by your

house and copying everything you do. So it sounds like you're on the case already. You just have to have a little bit more discernment about who you let into your circle. And that's great because you have to set up boundaries. And like you said, when you're in your 50s, those boundaries are much easier to set because it's not like an option. It's almost like a mandate. True, true. Very true. Very true. So I feel like between the two of you guys, you're on the case already and you're not going to allow any more fruitcakes into your life. You know, like you have to be very clear at the beginning, at the outset, which you just said you were like, I'm not dealing with any dependence. I don't need any more dependence. I don't need anyone who's so interested in living my life

that they want to actually live my life. I, you know, I'm looking for strong women that have strong boundaries of their own in place. And those are the only types of relationships I'm looking for. Are they out there? Yes, they are. Of course they are.

It's like discounting men. You can't discount all men. You can only discount most of them. You know what I mean? Yeah, like 90%. But no, there are women out there that are like that. You know, there are. You've had normal friends.

Look at your daughter. Look at her friends. Look at me. Like, I have normal friends. I don't have psychos like that in my life. I mean. I do have one girlfriend that I absolutely love. Her name is Burnett, and she's been a solid rock for sure.

I mean, she's a little crazy, too, but, you know. Yeah, that's okay. A little crazy is fine. Crazy cool. Crazy cool. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite?

Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them

I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the Survivor Files I just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable I knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like, if you can

hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts See you between the pages Hey, this is Hayes Davenport And Sean Clements We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network

Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners Each week we talk to someone in show business, aka the biz And try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can can you help me shape this yeah how about we flip it on his head right how about we flip the script okay what is the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to

visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's It's fragile masculinity. Ben Stiller, no. Because a lot of times, out of context, people don't get it or even know what a circle is. You know what I mean?

They're so stupid. Everyone's so dumb except for you. And fake. Right, fake and also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode. but he's just so busy.

Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself

because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is

and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And I just think, like, don't panic about it.

It's not like you need a gaggle of girlfriends. Like, you need five girlfriends right away. It's not a fucking emergency. I know, I know. But gosh, I just have had really no solids, you know? And so at some point, you just kind of lose some hope, I guess. I know, but it's like dating. You know what I mean?

Everyone loses hope dating. They go on a website and they're like, they go on five dates and they're like, fucking forget it. You know, everyone's disgusting or everyone's a loser that everyone wants to split a check. Like you have to treat it like dating. Like you're going to audition some new girlfriends in the next few months. There are places at sites where, I mean, if you really want to go and like meet friends on, on, on like friend websites, you could do that.

But I really don't think that's necessary for you. It's not like you're desperate. Right. By the way, let me just rephrase that. Anyone who's on a site to meet friends. Well, that is a little desperate. Sorry, I can't rephrase it. But if you're on a dating site to meet guys, that is not desperate.

I understand that and I support that for all women. But if you're only in a situation where you have to meet people online, then yeah, that's a different situation. You're not in that situation. So one thing that might be helpful too is rather than going out for like individual women, if there's like someone you know who has like say a book club or like a friend group already where they all kind of know each other and you can insert yourself, that might be a nice way to like, they've all got their stuff going on. They've all got their own lives

and their own relationships. And you can kind of like sneak on in there and have some extra friends and like see if there's someone you vibe with. I recently did do that. And I'm kind of notorious for calling people lovey, lovey or sugar. People usually get a pet name from me. So we go out to dinner and all of a sudden, all these girls at the table are calling each other lovey. And I'm going, what the hell is going on right now? So it's just weird. You know, it's kind of weird behavior. I don't know. I don't know what it is. You know, maybe they, I listen, I am a strong personality and I am like, you know, I have that vibe, right? I love to just latch onto other groups of girls. Like I'm always on the periphery of lots of different friend groups. Cause I,

I don't like to be too enmeshed in groups of women. Like I have probably 10 different groups of girlfriends and I go in and out when I please. I don't, you know, I'm not a jealous person. So I'm not worried that I'm not the center of the universe, but I like to be like, I'll show up on a vacation or, or I'll show up at, you know, their Thursday night dinner that they do every week. And then I show up, I like to be the kind of outsider of friend groups because I like to float around. Yeah. So I think that's the attitude you should take. You should find groups like what Catherine suggested, whether that be a book club or whether you find existing groups to just kind of float in and out of. And if you see them, like, you know, you can, you can gather enough

information to know whether or not it's a group you want to revisit or not for sure absolutely that's absolutely right yes yes i agree with that all right alexis are you gonna help her out with us yeah i think the universe knew i was gonna get some dog shit women and they gave me a daughter you know yeah well that's good so weird women stalking other women it's just so and i was like you know if it was i it was a guy i'm like yeah you know i kind of wouldn't be like all right this guy, but it's women driving by me. I'm like, what do you think you're going to see? Me in my robe outside? So weird. I don't know. It's just, it's very bizarre behavior. And I don't know what to do with those women either. Like, how do I manage that? I can't, you know, I feel anxiety.

Am I going to have to be ready to rumble? Yeah. I feel like you just have to ignore them unless it does get to the point with this other woman. Like that might be time for like a restraining order. Well, I mean, it's just a very weird pattern. Like, yeah, I mean, yeah. She's an administrator at a school. What do you think, Alexis? What do you think this situation is? I, again, I think it's just her, unfortunately, meeting people that don't know who they are. And so then they, or they're unhappy in their lives and they see my mom and she's just so, you know, her personality is very big. We're kind of opposite that way. I'm a little more quiet, but I think they're just really like attracted to that and they I don't they just cling on and want

to do that they start just like wearing the same clothes doing their hair the same like all of a sudden they've never done that before and at first I thought it was a compliment and then the more times I noticed this is happening I'm like okay something is up like this is not normal behavior oh that's so strange yeah some people are a little bit that way like I have one of those faces where people come up to me at the grocery store and like, tell me their life story. So, I mean, some people just have like a certain vibe and it's not anything I, I don't think that you can control, you know? I know. And I know. And then I think, you know, do I need to be, you know, less? Do I need to like, you know, be, I don't know. I don't know. But at some point now in my

fifties though, I will say I'm embracing who I am and I don't give two shits about what people are thinking or doing. I'm just like. Yeah. I mean, you're embracing who you are. You shouldn't change who you are. You should just be like what we've already discussed, which is more discerning about letting people get close to you. You have to figure out who's crazy and who's not crazy and then make those decisions. Don't start. Don't go all in right away. Yeah, I agree. I do that. I do that. I'm like, oh, I love this person. And then three days later, I'm like, never mind. I think you just have to detach a little bit from what their expectations of the friendship are. And like if it doesn't feel good for you, then it doesn't. It's not good. And you

don't have to take that on like if they are feeling no no no just yeah I think we've covered it I think you guys got the message yeah yeah all right okay okay ladies thank you for calling in hey thank you so much bye thanks bye okay well that's a wrap on our little mini so to couples counseling okay well well that's a I don't know what to say now goodbye we'll see you next time goodbye so I added a couple of new dates I'm not on tour yet but I added a couple of dates just because I felt like we need a little bit more laughter and a little bit more medicine for the end of the year. And I was wrapping things up,

but I thought maybe let me do a couple more. So I'm adding three more dates in addition to my Vegas residency. I'm headlining the Rochester Fringe Comedy Festival, September 13th, and I will be in Napa on October 3rd. So those will be my last dates of the year. Do you want advice from Chelsea?

Write into DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.

These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by. The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff.

They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get in. Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us.

Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.