Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Minisode: Sit Your Ass at Home with Sam Jay and Yanise Monét

Episode Date: August 9, 2024

Chelsea is joined by Sam and Yaya to discuss rekindling your creative drive, finding balance in a relationship, and why therapy is so important as a couple.  * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by. The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff.

They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it. Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Couples Counseling with Chelsea Handjob. I'm here with my friends, Yaya and Sam. Okay, welcome back, Yaya and Sam. Yeah, what's up? It was great to see you. Thank you. Okay, so you want to spend more time on the road

because you want to get back to your creative roots. Tell me more about that because I can relate to that very much. I just need to be doing comedy for me, and I need to be by myself with this for a little while. I've gone through some stuff, lost some people. I've just been in a bit of a tumultuous space, and I kind of just needed some space to reconnect with it for me and just realign myself,

realign the reasons why i'm doing it realign my goals realign what i want out of it you know that kind of requires personal time and that's hard to do when you have your partner on the road it just you know that that requires another piece of yourself to be attentive and be caring and i just don't want to at least when it comes to comedy i don't want to have to consider anybody else in this space for a while that's very well put i mean i can relate to that how does that make you feel? I'm okay with it because I respect her as an artist. So whatever she needs from me as a partner, I'm able to, I try to accommodate and do for her. When we were on the road together through the first special, which was great, but it was just like, I understood where she was at

the time. So it was good to be on the road with her and help her develop that. And now she's in a space creatively where she needs to be isolated and get back to the grind of it. So I just have to respect that because she's an artist so who am I to be like no bitch I'm coming well a lot of people would be like that a lot of people who aren't don't understand that no I mean I understand it and I respect her more than an artist I respect her as a person so if my person is telling me this is what she needs who am I to be like no bitch I'm coming anyway like I'm not I'm not gonna do that and plus I don't work so if that's what she need to do to get the money girl go outside and Go get it.

Like, fuck. So I'm going to sit my ass down. I told you to sit my fat ass down. This week we're looking for questions from writers. Are you an author or an aspiring writer? Or maybe you're a different kind of artist and have questions about the creative process or inspiration or motivation. Write in to DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. time at plaza auto group locations get top value for your trade and shop hundreds of new and pre-owned

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gonna have to look up this story i'm obsessed i'm obsessed from best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts see you between the pages When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.

I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, Shut up. Don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.

They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. When your most recent special came out on Max, how did that affect you? The success of that or being recognized more? And how did it affect both of you? I mean, it was like a two-fold thing. It definitely was like, okay, I'm getting recognized more. There's this perception.

But then there's also this piece of you. It's never fully what you want, I guess. Or at least I haven't hit whatever that is career-wise where I'm like, yeah, this is how I wanted it. This is how I thought it was going to be. You know, so there's parts of it that were just wildly frustrating still. And I think a lot of it, too, is I'm two specials in now. So it's also just like, all right, what's next? You know, like these kind of goals are being knocked off.

And I don't think because I was just running and running and running. I don't think I spent any time trying to figure out really what I wanted next. I haven't done a five-year plan in years. I haven't really sat down and just assessed goals in a long time. I've just been doing the thing and doing the thing and doing the thing. And things have kind of just been happening. So I think it's also in a space where as much as I like all that shit, it feels like there's stuff coming to me,

but I'm not even sure if it's things that I want or I'm just doing them because they're things that are coming. And so that's another piece that I got to get a handle back on. Like, what do you want right now? Like, what are you trying to actually achieve? Yeah, I'm interested to see how you view that. What do you think about watching her go through that? I can't lie.

In the beginning, it was difficult to see her. I don't want to say struggling with it, but going through a bout where she was at a place where she was just trying to figure it out again, because she's always so strong and always so headstrong. She always knows what direction she wants to go to. So to see her be a little down and confused, especially after losing her best friend and stuff like that, it was hard for me to see her go through it, but I just wanted support in the best way that I can. You sound very therapized, Yaya, in a good way.

Oh, I do. Very thoughtful. Everything you say is like you've spoken to someone else about it, almost. Well, yeah, we speak to our therapist, but we also speak to each other. Yeah. I think that that's the biggest thing is just trying to, because I'm not the best communicator. So especially when it comes with Sam and she's so, she's such a good communicator because that's just what she does. So I think that with her, it's just like trying to empathize and show her like I hear what

she's saying or I'm trying to hear her needs in the same way she can reciprocate it to me. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's a struggle for a lot of people when they get success that you've wanted for so long and you get it. plus with the other things that are happening in your life, obviously that has a major impact.

And even without that, it's an adjustment, right? Like to become what you wanted to be. And then, like I was watching J-Lo's recent documentary. It's called The Greatest Love Story Never Told. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You watched that? Yeah, I did. I'm interested in what J-Lo is up to.

Always. How was it? It was what you think it was, okay? It was not. I wouldn't say watch it, but I had to see. what you wanted to know you had to see it for yourself but in that it is revealed not that we didn't know this about j-lo because we could have drawn our own conclusion or conjecture based on her behavior alone she there's an insatiableness to her she will never be sated it will never be

enough there will never be success a movie big enough an award big enough an oscar it's just and even ben affleck in the movie says she'll never be satisfied and i always like i remember when Gerard Carmichael kind of started to get really recognized and he had an issue with it like you know he went away for a while to be away from it happened to Dave Chappelle it happens to a lot of comics and it's interesting to talk about I think because it's like what is it yeah yeah and when will it be enough for any of us yeah yeah and what does enough look like you know and at least what you what do you want you know I think that's really what it is it's like what do I want and And also just being confronted with this level of glass ceiling and this level of, like, you know, okay, I'm achieving all these things on this level.

But I'm starting to understand that as a black lesbian, there's just some shit that's in the way. You know what I mean? And, like, also how to navigate that and still chase this thing. You know what I mean? like just trying to find all those those good balances and pieces of mine for myself so that when I step into this shit like I got the right fucking mental headspace that you're in the right headspace yeah yeah but it's not easy I mean I think she's being very like uh generous with herself in this moment because I also know for sure that like something it hurts her sometimes

to not be able to be with me and like I went and did the roast on my own and I was like you know I just need space to just go do what the stuff is I got to do. And I know for her, that was hard to not be there for a moment. You know what I mean? And not be able to share in that moment and be present. So it's not like in that she's not like sacrificing something, I guess. No, I mean, it sounds like you have really good communication. Like I wouldn't even.

Sometimes. I mean, that's pretty healthy. Also just came from therapy. Yeah, I know. I should have all of our couples counseling just come from their real therapist. Yes. So they're in better shape than the counselor, which is me. No, you're a great therapist.

I'm not giving therapy. I'm just letting you, I want to hear what your issues and dynamics are because everybody who listens, we have such a variety of listeners and like everybody likes to hear other people's stories. I know when I hear something that sounds similar to something I went through, I'm always like, oh, okay, okay, that's not uncommon. It's kind of like, you know, when you get advice, I hate this quality about myself, but I do it all the time when I, especially with men. Like, I'm like, oh, I show him to a bunch of different people to get everyone's reaction, you know? And if everyone's into it, then I'm into it. And if they're kind of grossed out by him, I'm grossed out by him. And that's really not the kind of personality.

I'm not a follower in that way. I mean, it's like when you go around and you ask somebody their advice on your problem and you keep getting different advice and then your advice just changes to whatever the last fucking thing you heard was. And then you're like, who the fuck am I? Like, what do I even think? So I just, I don't know, it falls into that category of kind of philosophizing for me. I'm sure you've seen a lot of your friends go through the same thing. And it's not necessarily the fame aspect. It's success.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some of this is like in business and all different types of walks of life and work. It's just success and managing it and managing yourself within it. You know what I mean? Growing up, too. I'm a whole different person than when I started, you know, with a whole different mind. So, you know, that's also a part of it. Yeah. You have a big brain. I like it.

Oh, thank you. I like your big brain. Thank you. It's nice to talk to people who are fucking intelligent. I mean, it's like I got stoned on my way here because I knew I was going to have to deal with this annoying driver. My driver had a situation. And I was like, oh, I better get stoned just in order to deal with someone that I don't know. And I'm going to be in a close space with them.

I have to set the tone so that I'm in a more playful mood because my natural disposition is like any time in the car is my alone time. I'm like that, too. So this is what I don't understand, Chelsea. You always come at me like I'm some type of curmudgeon. But I feel like we're very much the same. Well, I'm a little bouncier than you are. I'm bouncing around. You're kind of like, you walk into a room and it's like you don't know which way it's going to go if you don't know you.

I don't know why everyone thinks that. Yeah, you do have that energy. It's a less playful energy. But I'm so playful. I'm telling people that she's not, like, I have to warn people, like, no, she's nice, she's cool, she's not mad. Like, people think she's mad on set. I find that so, you know what it is? People are so goddamn needy.

I agree. People are so goddamn needy that if you walk in a room and you're just chilling, it's like they require energy. I know. And it's like, why? Why? I'm not doing anything but sitting down. I'm just chilling. I'm seeing what's coming.

I'm hanging out. If it turns into a good conversation about this, I'm in. i'm down but it's like this need people have to be affirmed by other people and immediately to to be able to sit in a fucking space i just i i swear i've never been that way i've never given the fuck about how someone entered a room i've never even thought about like how am i entering a room unless it was like actually hostility like who the fuck want to fight then i'd be like whoa bro what's up with bro why is he why is he on that time but like other than that it's just so weird to me well that's a perfect time to uh say goodbye to sam and yaya for a minute because we

i don't want you to leave until we come back and talk about your finances and how you relate to each other on that end okay so we can end on a lighter note oh this oh wow this was the therapy no another maybe no you can check out sam jay who is on tour now in cities all over the country and she's fucking funny if you haven't seen her on the roast or on her own special then go watch both of those her specials on hbo max now known as max and then you can follow yaya at vanity dot vixen on instagram and tiktok and it is worth the follow because she's up to some well shenanigans i mean you'll understand what i'm talking about i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these

are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced these are stories about what it takes to make it out alive listen to the survivor files with elizabeth smart on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts did you hear the new episode of the hey jonas podcast we are at d23 so we'll see who stops by the cast of frozen stopped by kristin bell josh gad and adina menzel i auditioned for frozen what for kristoff they said okay what are you going to be singing today i said i don't know that must have been why you didn't get it oh you probably Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more.

And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business

and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.