Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Minisode: Snatch That Kid Up with Chelsea + Catherine

Episode Date: December 19, 2025

Chelsea and Catherine talk with a couple exploring the foster system… for the second time.   * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. The new Red Bull Dragonberry and Tropic Berry Energizers, now at McDonald's. Made with freeze-dried fruit and an electric burst of flavor. The all-new Red Bull Energizers, now at McDonald's. This product may not be right for you. High in caffeine. Details at mcdonalds.ca and participating Canadian restaurants, excluding Quebec. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files.

Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. each week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts did you hear the new episode

of the hey jonas podcast we are at d23 so we'll see who stops by the cast of frozen stopped by Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Adina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it.

Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.

I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, guys. It's Chelsea and Catherine here. So today, Catherine, we are doing one of our mini-sodes, and so we have one couple calling in for couples counseling, correct?

Exactly, exactly. And for anybody else who wants to write in, please write in. Yes, for sure. Chelsea gives great advice for couples. Yes, yes. I'm just flawless in my advice giving, everybody. I mean, so far, it's been four years. I will. I mean, not four years of a hundred.

I'm sure there's some upset customers, but that's par for the course, you know? Yeah, exactly. It's not like I have a degree. Just operating on, you know, vibes. Good vibes. I'm operating on good fucking vibes, okay? Okay. So our question today on our couples counseling with Chelsea comes from Lynn and Kara.

Dear Chelsea, we're writing in for some advice on whether or how to expand our family. My partner and I have been married for six years, and we grew our family a year into marriage in a somewhat unconventional but deeply meaningful way. As two women in our prime fertility years, we considered the full range of options, sperm donor, private or international adoption, fostering, adopting from foster care, you name it. Ultimately, we were matched with an 11-year-old girl whom we fostered for three years before finally becoming her legal guardians. Our plan was always to adopt her, but the system had its own timeline. Whole story there. She's now 16, and we love her dearly.

At the time we welcomed her into our home, the idea was to have more children. But we quickly realized that wouldn't be the right decision for her or for us at the time. Now, with her only a few years from graduating and us both still just 34, the question of whether to grow our family is back on the table. Here's where it gets complicated. There seem to be ethical concerns around every path. Sperm donor, have you seen the man with a thousand kids? Enough said.

Private adoption, feels uncomfortable bidding for babies while so many children in the system need homes. Foster care, I'd do it again, my wife isn't so sure after everything we went through the first time. And beyond that, we're both aware of the broader ethical tension of bringing more people into a world that feels increasingly unwell. Add to that our many, many frustrations with society at large, especially when it comes to how we raise youth, and it's easy to feel like throwing in the towel. And yet, I'm not sure I'm ready to let go of the family we once envisioned. In many ways, I'm fulfilled. I'm a mom to an incredible daughter who loves and needs us.

we get the privilege of guiding her into adulthood, but I also love being a mom and there are joys of parenthood that we haven't yet experienced and still long for. So I guess we're writing in either to have you say, don't have kids, you idiots, which honestly might be the easiest answer, or to help us untangle whether we're walking away from something too soon. Part of me thinks we should just enjoy our impending emptiness freedom. The other part wonders if we're exactly the kind of people who should be raising more kids because we get how hard and beautiful and complicated it all is. Lynn and Kara. Hi, girls. Hi, you guys are cute. Wow. Great job fostering an 11-year-old. I mean, listen, right off the bat, instinctually,

I would say to you, you guys were open to fostering. I mean, those are the kids that need it the most. You talk about bringing children into this world. It's a very valid point. There are so many children that need homes. So it's almost like to me, if that's something you've done, and I know how complicated that system is. I have a cousin who's fostered to adopt and that turned into an adoption. And I know that it is exhausting. But when you're up for it, which you two seem to be, then it's kind of like you're meant to do that. If you've done it, you know the ropes. You already have an advantage going in because you've been through this system before. And you're helping somebody who's already here in this world that doesn't have the guidance that the two of you can provide.

And I love what you said, guiding them into adulthood. I think that is really profound and exactly what parents are meant to do. It's not like you own your children. You're just supposed to guide them into becoming, you know, big, big humans and good humans. And you both seem like, you know, just from your letter, wonderful human beings. So I would say if you're going to do it, to try to go down that road again, knowing that it's going to be a difficult path. but that the outcome is going to outweigh the work that you put into it yeah I think I'm open to that I don't know she is I think what makes it difficult is that even going

and taking that path there's just so much that isn't in our control which I guess is true about children regardless of how you do or don't bring them into the world but how you raise them But I think it's one of the things that has stuck with me in raising the child we have now is that like every step we take and this might be the age that she came to us to like there's always sadness before happiness when you go through that path. right? Because there's a loss of a family. There's a loss of so many things and that's like really heavy. The world already feels so heavy that a part of me is like, I don't know if I can do that again, if that makes sense. And when I think about like broadening the family, there's like so many joyous things that I feel like we also didn't really get a chance to experience that I feel like taking that path again, maybe at a different age, we would have a slightly different

experience, but it just feels like dark and heavy to go down that road again right now. Maybe that just means we're not ready right now. Maybe it does. But I mean, yeah, you are, I mean, you got it. Getting a girl at 11 years old is much different than getting a baby or getting even a three-year-old, you know, it is. It's like, and there's no doubt that it's going to be difficult, But that's going to happen with any child that even if you had a child and you got a sperm donor like that, all of that's going to happen. What's different about the fostering system is that it's so frustrating and there's so much bureaucracy and, you know, parents have so many rights until they finally don't have the rights. The birth parents, you know, they have to fuck up so many times and and there's all this stuff that can happen. And and while that does sound challenging and onerous, it sounds like something that you two can handle.

And I'm of the idea that if you can handle something, then you should be the people that are doing it rather than like, you know, say you were looking at another couple. Say you were looking at a six-year-old kid that needed a home, okay, a six-year-old little boy who had been in foster care for six years and you saw another couple that were going to foster him. And you knew that they didn't have the capabilities or the capacity to love in the way that you did. wouldn't you want to just go snatch that kid up and do everything you can to provide the home that you've already been able to provide for someone like you've proven yourself in this arena I really feel that when you do something well and and and have crossed like crossed all these hurdles and what you said I hear you there's sadness before there's happiness like I think you won't have an identical experience to the one that you had and there's just so many children

out there that need homes. And when you really care about that, then that's your answer. You know, go help somebody that needs a home. You don't have to do it tomorrow. But if you're on the fence about, it's like, you're not on the fence about loving children and wanting to help them. You're not on the fence about that. So I think that it's a definite yes for you guys. And it's just a matter of which way you decide to go. And I would say fostering is, you know, from somebody who's never done this before in my life just like you know i'm just from what i can hear from you you have a pretty close relationship with it compared to yeah i mean now i've seen it firsthand what it's what what happens and how frustrating that is um but you know you guys have

a lot of love to give and when you have a lot of love to give it's kind of your i think it's your responsibility to give it sucks to be good people you know that's right that's right the jonas brothers are running it back we live the burning up tour and celebrate the biggest jonas brother hits that have defined a generation one incredible celebration one unforgettable night see the jonas brothers live at rbc amphitheater september 28th get tickets now at ticketmaster.ca When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files.

I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, Shut up. Don't say anything. every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them they're stories about what it takes to make it out alive Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.

This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse.

Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements.

We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can can you help me shape this yeah how about we flip it on his head right how about we flip this around okay what is the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the

one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity yeah ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this everyone's so dumb except for you fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've

got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility.

Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Honestly, I don't have anything to add to that. I think my only question for you is how important is it to you to pass on your DNA?

Is that a need, like a feeling either of you have? Not for me. No, that's a man thing. Women don't give a shit about that. Hence the man with a thousand kids. Yeah. I think if that's not something that you feel a great desire for, then, you know, I think the sperm donor route is out. Also, it's just like this world is such a mess right now. Do you really want to do that? Do you want to bring someone in the world? Right. You don't want to add, you want to comfort what exists. Here is a question for you too, since obviously you've been researching this and looking into all the possibilities quite a bit. So between a private adoption or foster care, like is there the ability to sort of like be open to both of those and like put your names in the

hat for both of those and like see if one starts to feel right or if you start getting more, you know, someone sent to you or questions from the agencies or those sorts of things, like just to feel it out? Yeah, that's an interesting question. So adoptive license, and it varies state by state, But to be licensed to adopt is separate of being licensed to foster. And the routes that those children go through are very different. Yeah. And I would imagine it's like obviously another cost to get the license to adopt, correct? Yeah, which isn't a big deal.

I mean, we don't care about that. And when we previously, you know, were planning to adopt, we were only licensed to adopt. And so that was our plan, even though the child was in foster care. but they, the system did its thing. They're like, oh, after we had already like decided and everything, they're like, oh, you know, well, this might not go through for a little bit. And so we got licensed to foster so that she could come into our home versus being like, oh, nice to meet you and have a good life. Yeah. So you're sort of already ready on both of those counts. Sorry. I don't mean just foster. I mean, adopt or foster. An existing kid. Yeah. Just somebody who's already

here. Yeah. If you go down the adoption route, I mean, it might take longer, but you're going to get the, it's not going to be the bureaucracy you dealt with with foster care. And that's also a way to rescue someone, you know, to get them in a safe place. So. I agree with Chelsea. You two feel like people who absolutely have more parenting to give and more love to give. So yeah, find a kid who's out there and maybe just like leave it open to both or, you know, get registered for both and see which one starts to present itself. Because I do think that the people come into our lives that should be in our lives. Yeah. And thank you guys for doing that. That's beautiful. You're both a beautiful couple. I know you're going to make good decisions and provide. And I'm so happy

to hear that you were able to get an 11-year-old little girl under your wings and guide her because she's going to be, you know, her whole future has changed because of you. So you have the ability to do that for people and you should do it. Well, I was saying this from the start. So now that you've said it, she's like, that's what you have to do. By the way, I'm never encouraging people to have children. So this is a first. But yeah, so keep us posted. Let us know what happens. Will you? Yeah, we will. Okay. All right. Bye, girls. Bye. Bye. I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I will be touring from February through June. So go get your tickets now. If you want to come see me perform, I will be on the High

and Mighty Tour. Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write into DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com. to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the

same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts did you hear the new episode of the hey jonas podcast we are at d23 so we'll see who stops by the cast of frozen stopped by kristin bell josh gad and adina menzel i auditioned for frozen what for kristoff they said okay what are you going to be singing today i said i don't know that must have been why you didn't get it oh you probably want plus john stamos hayden christiansen from star wars and more and i guess i can share that uh no way listen to the latest episode of hey

jonas on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts hey this is hayes davenport and sean clements we host the podcast hollywood handbook each week we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman adam scott danny mcbride ben stiller and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us listen to hollywood handbook on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts on the new podcast solita we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman i can wait four hours for the next bus

or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle, I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.