Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Minisode: The Wedding’s Off with Chelsea + Catherine

Episode Date: April 4, 2025

Chelsea calls a wedding off and an update comes in from a favorite throuple. * Order a signed copy of Chelsea’s new book HERE! * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us.

Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle, I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself

because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Couples Counseling with Chelsea. handjob, where we do couples counseling on all sorts of variations of friends, lovers, families.

Welcome to my office. Hello. Hello. Hi, Chelsea. I've got an update from one of our callers. Let's hear it. All right. Well, this is from Libby. She had written in a couple of months ago. It was actually from our Hannah Einbinder episode, and she was in a throuple. Oh, and she had sex in the bathroom? No, no, that I would love to hear an update from her. We will get an update from her soon. But this gal was in a thruple and it was like a husband and wife that she had come into their relationship. They had some kids, they all lived together and the husband was acting like really sketchy and like crabby and like didn't want to have sex anymore with either of them. So Libby says, wait, wait, wait, wait. They were in a thruple? Yes. And Libby was like the,

what did they call it? The unicorn? Yeah. Okay. Coming into the relationship. Yeah. And he had basically said, well, I don't have sex with you or anybody else. So yeah. Even his wife. Even his wife. Yeah. Hi, Catherine. After our last conversation, I took Chelsea's advice and tried to be a voice of reason between my two partners, my girlfriend and our roommate of a boyfriend, and tried to discuss how we could move forward as a throuple. Per usual, he did not have anything to say. He was content with living the way things were, and that seemed to be about it. Between Chelsea's advice and my intuition, I knew there was more. I spent a few days being observant. In my initial email, I had mentioned that he'd been sleeping on the couch

and had begun sleeping with his phone underneath his pillow. One night after admittedly drinking a bit, the liquid courage ended up being much needed, lol. I saw that he, quote, forgot to hide his phone. I normally don't condone going through your partner's phone, but given the situation, I felt as though I should hurt my own feelings and see what he's been up to. Turns out he had spent the last two months cheating on the two of us with a freshly 19-year-old server who worked at the restaurant he was managing at the time. Gross. Yeah. The arguments he created in order to take off and leave the late nights when he was caught up at work, quote unquote, were really just excuses to meet up and spend time with his work girlfriend. I called my girlfriend who was at work

at the time and showed her the things I had discovered. She sped home immediately and we threw his stuff into his car and kicked him out right there in the middle of the night. Looking back on things, all the signs and red flags were extremely obvious, and I hate that we spent so much time begging an unworthy person to stay with us. For my girlfriend, it was hard to say goodbye to a 10-year relationship, and that loss is still being mourned, but our life has gotten a million times better. The energy in our household has shifted, and things all feel lighter and happier. As for him, he's continued a downward spiral.

He was demoted from his salary management position for making inappropriate remarks toward a 16-year-old girl who worked at his job and is back to being a line cook. I love that he wasn't fired. He was just demoted. Like, great job. He lives with his brother and generally has a miserable life. Karma really did her thing.

Thank you for taking the time to listen to my situation and for the much-needed advice. I feel as though that was the last bit of validation slash confirmation. I needed to face the facts and work toward a final solution, which I guess was as simple as looking through his phone. As hurtful as it was, it made my girlfriend and I stronger as individuals and as a couple, and it also opened the door for some pretty great hookups every once in a while with men who actually appreciate our presence. Much love, Libby.

But I thought she said she got rid of the girlfriend, too. No, no, no. So she and the girlfriend stayed together. Oh, good. Great. Perfect. And got rid of the guy. And he's the father of her children, isn't he?

Uh-huh. Well, that's too bad. Yeah. Oh, awesome. Awesome. I love it. But if I remember correctly, not married, so like easy peasy. Just kick him out.

Yeah, exactly. It's ruffle up. Have a great time with all these other men that are going to be. much more worthwhile. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save.

Get a quote at belairdirect.com. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything.

Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.

I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering

me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself.

So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right. So Chrissy is calling in, and she had called in with her best friend Mame on an episode from August of last year called We Might All Be Dead By Then, if anyone wants to check it out. She says, We spoke with you and Chelsea a few months ago regarding my best friend's horrible boyfriend, and there has been a development since then. He is now her horrible fiancé. This news was delivered to me by means of a text saying,

I hope you're on board for a destination wedding. Normally, I would be on board for a destination anything, but what do I do here? I've made it very clear that I don't think the boyfriend fiancé is a good person. I hate my friend's willingness to take him back after he continues to disrespect her. It's honestly been a little while since we spoke. In addition to picking horrible men to marry, she also voted for the horrible man in the White House. As each new policy is unveiled, I feel like she personally pushed the button to initiate these changes. I just don't know how I could attend her wedding and pretend it's a joyous event, knowing their history, being surrounded by her Trump-loving friends.

I hate to throw away our friendship, but I'm not sure I can look past these decisions, or if I even should. I know I'm far from the only one with a relationship affected by politics, but I guess I'm wondering if I'll regret letting a decade of friendship go because of my friend's horrible taste in men, Chrissy. Hi, Chrissy. Hi, how are you? Hi, Chrissy. Nice to see you again. You too. We just got caught up on what's going on with your friend.

Now, have they set a date yet? As far as I know, they have not. We have been a little more distant lately. We haven't talked to too often, but I don't think that there is a set date currently. How did she tell you they got married or they got engaged? She, well, he had a ring for years that he was holding over her head and not giving to her.

Yes, I recall. And when he gave her the ring, She was very excited to show it to me. She acted like it was the dream proposal and it was just kind of everything else was pushed under the rug, everything leading up to that point. Well, the good news is there most likely won't be a wedding anyway, since, you know, his pattern of events is like he's, I mean, what are the chances that he's been lording this overhead or lording it over and then he's going to go through with a wedding and they

don't have a date. So yeah, but the bigger question is, okay, so there's that issue and then there's all the political stuff. I'm not opposed to, if you are up for it, to releasing this friendship. Like, it's very hard to see somebody go down that road with a partner. Additionally, the political aspect of things is like a double whammy. And, you know, like, what are the foundations of your friendship? What are the things that hold you guys together?

Are those still active? Is that the past? Like, sometimes we hold on to friendships because of the history of the friendship. but it's not really serving you anymore. And in fact, it's kind of disservicing you. Right. I can definitely see that. I think because we have such a long history

where we were both single moms, we kind of played a role in helping to raise each other's children. I think it was harder to let it go because she almost felt like family to me. But I also know that there are times that you have to let family go too. Yeah, yeah.

And like, do you feel that you get anything out of this relationship in its current status? So I do, I miss having that friend that I shared everything with. She was my person that, you know, we, there were no boundaries. We talked about everything and I don't have that person in my life currently. So I think I miss having a best friend more than I miss her specifically. Right. I think that's your answer. You know what I mean. And I think you should make room for a new best friend, because I think it's nice to have those memories. And she served her purpose for a period of time in your life. And now through everything that you've seen, it's like, it's not adding to your life. I would argue that it's

taking from you because of both subject matters. And it doesn't have to be confrontational. It could just be like, listen, I think we've really grown apart. It's really hard for me to watch you go and marry this man. I understand that you're going to, I understand you love him and I want to respect that. And the best way for me to respect that is to not be there. I don't want to be there. I don't, you know, like if you feel compelled, like does it require a conversation or can you just fade away? I had sort of tried to fade away. And then I felt like she kind of kept putting the effort out there, sending a text, calling. And then I finally kind of had the conversation with her saying, I'm sorry that I have been distant lately, but with the way that

everything in the country is going, I didn't know that I could have a civil conversation with you without us. And we tried, we tried to, you know, kind of text through that. And she kind of tried to make some of her points. And I just got enraged a little bit. And I think we are just in such different places that we're not going to see eye to eye on a lot of things right now. Right. I think it would probably be helpful for you to just take a long break from the relationship, you know, and circle back around if and when that time feels right. Like you don't have any obligation to continue a friendship where you're so at odds with each other on multiple fronts like it's not just one thing it's multiple things now and I also think you're right like you also aren't

obligated to like put a period on the end of the sentence so to speak like it is okay things do fizzle and like maybe there's some time in the future that she comes back into your life but like I think it's okay to just let it lie yeah let it lie and if she needs to reason explain it you can always be honest with her and just say I'm sorry like I want you to do whatever you want to do, but it's painful for me to watch this. It's painful for me to see this. It's painful for me to accept your political views. I accept them. I believe them. But what I need to do is kind of remove myself from this situation right now because things are too ugly and too scary. And also, why would you want to go to a wedding with a person when she's getting married to

a person like that? And I guarantee you this wedding will not happen. Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right. Yeah, I actually keep having dreams that the wedding is like the next day. And I'm like, just finding out about it. And I'm really struggling with myself for not having been there for her and not having helped her get ready. And I think that kind of made me question. yes but listen you know friendships are there sometimes for like five years sometimes they're there for a year sometimes they're there for 20 years and sometimes like sometimes somebody is in your life for a period of time for a reason and then sometimes it's actually it's a reflection of like your own belief system like when someone shows you okay this is who I am now like you have a choice you have no obligation to continue this friendship you both raised each other's

children together. That was beautiful. Like that's the best memory you're going to have probably. So hold on to that and, you know, and then make room for some other people to come into your life that you are like-minded with, that you, whose partners you do respect, whose relationships you admire, like surround yourself with the people that you, that you admire, you know, that relationships you, you would want to mirror for your own personal life and relation and people that you can relate to. There's nothing wrong with that. So do not wrap yourself up in guilt, wrap yourself up in like standards. This is beneath the standard that I would accept for myself. Therefore, it's beneath the standard that I would accept for you. And I'm just going to have to bow out

for a while out of love and respect for myself. Yeah. No, that's great advice. Thank you. Yeah. And you know, you can grieve that relationship or you can, but don't beat yourself up. You've been an incredible friend and there's no reason that you now have to be like held hostage to this friendship that you're no longer like, you know, aligned with. Just her marrying this guy or accepting his, you know, she was just not paying attention to anything, even strangers who have no investment in her relationship at all, either telling her that it's bullshit. She's not seeing that. So, you know, if she doesn't hear or see that, then there's nothing you're going to be able to do to point that out to her. Right. Chrissy, will you follow up with us in a few

months and let us know if anything moved forward with the wedding or but I think yeah you can let yourself off the hook like hopefully that'll stop you from having these panic dreams of like you know now what you're gonna do when and if that happens which is you know politely decline yeah no I will definitely follow up okay okay awesome thanks for calling me thank you have a good day guys bye bye do do do do do drum roll Catherine please um Chelsea Handler abroad abroad is my European tour so I'm coming to obviously find a husband abroad I need to get the hell out of this fucking country and it's not as easy as you think so I'm coming to Reykjavik I'm coming to Dublin I'm coming to the UK.

I'm coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast in May and June. I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow, New Zurich, Vienna. I've never, ever been to Vienna, Berlin, Barcelona, Lisbon. I'm coming. Abroad is abroad. That sounds like fun. I'm going to go see you abroad. I know.

I want to go see me abroad. And there I'll be. There I'll be. Upcoming Vegas dates, April 18th, July 5th, August 30th, November 1st, and 29th at the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas. If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at dearchelseapodcast at gmail.com and be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law.

And be sure to check out our merch at chelseahandler.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle.

I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us.

Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots

between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.