Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Minisode: What a Fun Problem

Episode Date: January 24, 2025

Chelsea + Catherine tackle their most fun problem yet in another Couples Counseling with Chelsea minisode. * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Bell. Connection is everything. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

And I guess I can share that, uh, no way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, guys.

It's Chelsea and Catherine here. So today, Catherine, we are doing one of our mini-sodes, and so we have one couple calling in for couples counseling, correct? Exactly, exactly. And for anybody else who wants to write in, please write in. Yes, for sure.

Chelsea gives great advice for couples. Yes, yes. I am just, I'm flawless in my advice giving, everybody. I mean, so far, it's been four years. I will. I mean, not four years of a hundred. You know, I'm sure there's some upset customers, but that's par for the course, you know? It's not like I have a degree.

Just operating on, you know, vibes. Good vibes. I'm operating on good fucking vibes, okay? Exactly. So that's what you're going to get. We were just talking about menopause because, so Naomi Watts wrote this book about menopause because she's been like the leading face of menopause in the last couple of years. I don't know if you've noticed, but she's been outspoken and she started this beauty company

called stripes. She just gave me a ton of lube and all this stuff. You can shove up different areas of your body and, and also facial moisturizer because your skin changes during menopause. Anyway, she asked me to, you know, for a blurb for the book. So she sent the book. And as I was reading the book, I got all of the symptoms of menopause. I was like, I started having hot flashes. I was like, Oh my God. And then I was like, Oh my God, am I, is it real or psychosomatic? Well, that's what I said. I was in Mallorca at the time and I had a man in my bed and I was like every night, like, get the fuck away from me. Like, you know, more so than usual. And I was like, don't touch me. You know, I was so hot, hot flashes. And my sister goes, you're so impressed. She goes, you just read about something and then it happens to you. She's like you. And I'm like, no, obviously I am going through perimenopause. I'm 49 years old. I mean, it would make sense. so I then I come home and I get these pills called bonafide for anyone out there with hot flashes as soon as I started taking them my hot flashes ceased I so I had hot flashes for like a week

okay but and I've had a hot flash before but not like consistently every night so I was convinced I'm like oh I'm going through perimenopause I have to get my hormones checked and so I take these bonafide it works I tell my sisters I send them both a picture I'm like you guys if you have hot flashes and my sister's like I'm 59 so I'm not having hot flashes you idiot and my other sister my other sister goes i can't she goes that worked for you she goes i tried that product for six months it did not work for me just like you were suggested like just like you read about menopause and then decided you had it now it's being cured by something that doesn't work and i was like i disagree anyway she's like it's so funny that you're actually very impressionable like you're

kind of malleable like you just sway that's why i would be a terrible juror because i my opinion changes so quickly based on like people's looks if they have a dimple anyway so the moral of the story is i was out with naomi and a couple of other girlfriends the other night and she loaded me up with products because your skin can get dry during perimenopause oh the company's called stripes and we're going to do an episode with naomi and we're going to have her come on and do a menopause episode because that's very important we've had a lot of requests for that actually oh really oh perfect okay so let's do that yeah and if you have menopause based questions questions about perimenopause, write them in this weekend because I'll start going through those.

We're going to record that episode with her really, really soon. So then I get my hormones checked and my doctor called me and I have an ablation, so I don't get my period. And my doctor just called me this morning and she says, my estrogen levels, there's a height where your FHC or something, FH something, FHS, something like that. FSH? Whatever direction it's supposed to go in when you age, mine has gone in the opposite direction. Okay. Right. Because you were like fertile myrtle before you know but i'm more she's saying i'm fertile still still and i was like wait a second and i was like this is so funny my cousin goes every time you go to the doctor they tell you like your liver looks incredible or your heart is the size of a 25

year old she's like how is that possible with as much shit you do and i'm like but i also keep my shit together that's right you work it's a very actually healthy balance if you think about it exactly and it's now being confirmed by the medical community so just start doing tons of drugs in your 20s or maybe before no I don't want to advocate that you have to have the right personality for drugs okay I have it yeah they're not for everyone you have to know if you are the right personality type and if you are you'll know so you know if you're asking you're not yeah I you know I'm very low tolerance when it comes to any drugs I'm like I have found like just whatever is like an eighth of a dose for someone else that's making them feel great like

that's what's gonna make me feel fine or not stressed about it at least yeah right you can't handle drugs. No happy drugs. I said to my doctor, I said, so can I still get pregnant? And she goes, you're definitely still ovulating. And she goes, but Chelsea, you had an ablation. I'm so stupid. I thought you could still have a baby after an ablation. I mean, who knows? Well, I do have a follow up from a previous episode. Is it a happy ending? It actually is. I mean, what if some people were just trying to sue us for our bad advice? Please don't sue us. so this comes from kelly she wrote in on our paul w downs episode about her fear of flying if you remember her uh and she said what was the advice that i gave her i think a lot of pills and

just go do it basically was the advice but kelly says dear chelsea quick follow-up message on my chat with you and paul w downs dear chelsea shortly after the chat about my flight anxiety with you, Catherine and Paul Downs. I'm a huge fan, by the way. I faced my fears and booked a flight. I got back from my first trip to New York City last week, and it was so much fun. With support from you, my therapist, my partner, and Ativan, I faced my fear with a calm and confident smile on my face. I always imagined I'd be in tears. I arrived so well prepared that I didn't even need to use most of the coping mechanisms I'd prepared. Ah, hello. This is amazing. It's working. I can't wait to talk about this. I feel invincible now. I look at travel in a different

light. This feels like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Thank you for encouraging me and all listeners to be bold and brave. It's much appreciated. Sending love to you and strength to all who want to face a fear. You got this. P.S. Speaking with you three was such a unique and memorable experience. As a bonus, I now have an actual fun fact for those classic group icebreaker activities take good care kelly that is so cute isn't that great yeah because this is really i want to talk about this a little bit when you and i don't mean hollow optimism when i'm trying to talk about positivity and being positive i don't mean like being empty positive like it's all gonna be toxic positivity no not toxic that's different okay okay well no maybe

it's similar but like you know it's all gonna be okay it's like no no my mother just died it's not going to be okay right away. I don't mean hollow optimism. I mean, when you choose to look at whatever situation is in front of you and you actually mentally reason with yourself that it's okay to be optimistic and purposeful and intentionally optimistic, you know, with your back up straight and holding your head up high. If you can approach things in that way, the obstacles become fewer and fewer if you have that attitude like she's talking about she didn't even need all of the things that she thought she was going to need because she had actually worked her way through the problem and was ready to face her fears in a powerful confident way not like i'm

gonna go fucking do this right in a way that i'm capable i'm strong and i'm gonna get through this and then you do even better than you thought you were gonna do this is making me feel like so i faced a fear of heights while we were on our Italy vacation and it did not go well and part of me was like well great I never have to do heights again and then what happened we went to the top of the Duomo in Florence which was highly recommended and also totally terrifying for a person with a fear of heights so it was a little bit traumatic did you start to get scared on the way up or so that on the way up it's just like this little staircase that's all enclosed which was fine. And then you get up into the inner circle of the dome and you're looking down

inside. And that for me was kind of the worst part because it was so narrow and like people were stopping. So I couldn't just like rush ahead and get through. And so I was sort of like trapped up there. And so that was sort of the worst part. And then you get to the roof and you have this beautiful view. Is the roof separate from the top of the dome? Yeah. You like keep going and then you're outside looking at the like the view of the city and so I thought like oh I can brave my fears but part of me also feels like maybe now I actually do need to conquer this fear of heights that I didn't used to have but I think once my frontal lobe was fully formed I became I mean it's kind of pretty natural to be scared of heights right like it doesn't feel good when

you look over the edge of a skyscraper that's not a fun happy feeling it's nobody feels like oh you know so i think it's pretty common to be fearful as long as your fear doesn't become paralytic yeah well that's the thing is i was like i never have to do anything heights again i never have to do it again but then i was like you know what i feel like this means that i need to conquer it and by concrete and conquering it the only thing you can do is exposure therapy so i'm like now i think i feel like i need to do a lot of things like this yeah like bungee jumping no no i don't think you have to go bungee jumping okay all right if i'm off the hook from you then Yeah, I just there's some fears. That's not natural. It is natural to be scared of fucking falling off of a building. I think so. All right. Thank you, Chelsea. I feel very well. You're welcome. You don't even have to call in. I know. Well, we do have a caller. Actually, we have two callers. Okay, great. Is it just us? It's just us today. It's a mini zone. Oh, okay. Perfect. I love when I find out about it at the show after we start taping. Yeah, exactly. This is what we do. It's always a surprise.

I know. My life is a surprise. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month.

price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files. I just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything. Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled and nearly silenced.

But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm

obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, and that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. The Biz,

and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this? How about we flip it on its head? How about we flip the script? What if the surprise woman, who actually you think is the straight man

is actually the one who's acting weird. Adam Scott. This entire time, you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show. I would never expect. Let go of that. I have.

I would never set expectations for something like that to happen. If the universe allows for something like that to happen, I am open to it. I'm always going to accept. You know, Danny McBride, fine. Yeah. it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest

with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity yeah ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like they're like oh it's so stupid everyone's so dumb except for you fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode but he's just so busy listen to hollywood handbook on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts so letty and jess say hi chelsea and katherine my partner and i were listening to your podcasts

during our drive home from yosemite and i had to reach out about our current issue we were wondering if you could support us with a couples therapy session. And by the way, for any other couples that want to write in, we absolutely can. I love couple sessions. So yeah, if you have a problem with your friend or boyfriend or girlfriend or non-binary friend, you can call in. Great. I'm a 34-year-old marriage and family therapist, one that clearly doesn't always take the advice I give. My partner, Leti, is currently in school to become a nurse. The issue we're facing right now is letty loves spending time with my mom they are practically best friends don't get me wrong i know it's a good thing but like most lesbians i've got mommy issues and so does she quite frankly

my mom now communicates with me through her comes over to our home when i'm not there to see letty and quote unquote accidentally crops me out of photos when she zooms in on the two of them i know i have to get over it at some point but right now it's just the current thorn in our relationship Jess oh my god hi Jess hi girls hi hi how are you oh my god that's so funny what a fun problem I mean it's a good problem to have especially with you know the world we're in these days that's right that's exactly right yeah that's exactly how you should be looking at this situation yeah but the zooming the cropping out of the photo every time every time I go on Facebook and it's like, oh, my mom tagged me and I go on and there's like this

part of my ear and then the rest of my family with Letty and my mom like zoomed in. So Letty, do you love your relationship with her mom? Obsessed. You are. Yeah. I really am so obsessed. And what's your relationship like with your own mom? So my relationship with my mom, we were always incredibly close.

I lost her, unfortunately, in 2022. um so now I feel like that's a big reason why I like attach myself so much to Jesse's mom because they are super they're very much alike yeah this is like a Disney movie you guys everything that's happening here is a Disney movie I mean I'm wearing a Mickey Mouse shirt and I have my Mickey Mouse necklace okay well then I mean I mean it works I mean it doesn't really bother you no I mean it's a good problem to have I think for a really long time coming out It was like touch and go with how accepted I really felt. And then when I met Leti, I was like, oh, she really loves her.

It's a great problem to have. There needs to be some boundaries probably. But, you know, maybe I'm a little jealous probably. Well, no, I think there could be like a little bit of a boundary. But have you spoken to your mom about this in a serious way at all or no? Not in a serious way. I think I poked fun at it because that's my way of coping. Yeah.

but I probably should say something. Well, I mean, I think this is you saying something. So I think we're just, we're just going to, I think there should be a light boundary, but obviously these are all great problems to have. Your mother is accepting and loving. She doesn't have her mother anymore. Like everyone's for lack of a better term, everyone's hole is being filled. Right. I mean, as long as that's happening, that's a good problem. I was going to say cup. And then I just went straight to hole and I figured why not just run with that? You No, no, but I think that you guys, Leti and Jess's mom, you should be a little bit more compassionate or inclusive, maybe a inclusive.

It's great that you want to spend time together. But yes, don't forget about the person that you're the reason you're both here, like meeting each other. You're right. You're right. And I will also mention that like, Jesse's mom's best friend is also my best friend. So it extends beyond just my relationship with her mom, too. And you're right.

you should be a little bit more inclusive. Just inclusive. Just be considerate of the fact that she feels a little like it's an odd situation and it's beautiful. But, you know, just be a little considerate of her feelings and make sure and especially the zooming in and out of the pictures. I think you should just be like, listen, bitch, I'm your fucking daughter. OK, when you zoom out from my photo to include hers, what kind of signal do you think that sends to my brain? yeah that's a good point yeah and she claims it was a mistake which it might have been yeah because her priority is on you though because she's like trying to get that photo of you this is a honeymoon period that you're experiencing don't expect it to last forever

so you know treat it like a relationship that needs some sort of boundary because you know totally yeah i do think it's funny when parents who maybe are not as accepting in the beginning of having a kid that's come out. It's like down the road, a lot of them realize when their kid brings home someone wonderful. They're like, oh, wait, this is what this actually looks like. Like a loving, fun relationship with a new great person that I get to know. And then they get totally on board. Yeah, I think that's how it was for me. I brought a couple exes home in my lifetime and it just never landed. And I thought it was more about her acceptance of me until she met Leti and then it all changed how did you two meet through friends i lived in san francisco for

like five years and we just met through mutual friends and then i brought her down here yeah that's great gay people are always asking me how to meet people so i'm just always trying to think of new ideas but luckily i mean you guys don't seem to have one san francisco's not the most original there was gonna be but no it's meeting through friends up there though there's not that many in Thousand Oaks so I had to get away for a while yeah exactly that's what we had a caller call in last week and she was saying the same thing she lives in this kind of small mountain town and she just realized she's out she wants to be gay and she wants to live her life and she's like I'm not in the right place to meet enough people yeah and have fun and she's in her 20s

so I get it I get moving and good for you for doing that you know sometimes you do have to relocate to find what you're looking for yeah you went fishing and then you came back I sure did in the bay. And now your mother is feasting on your fish. Okay, thanks girls for calling in. You girls are adorable. Love it. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Oh, how cute. Real cute. So yeah, I think we should encourage people also to write in. So for anybody who wants to write in, go ahead and write in at DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com Don't write into DearChelsea at gmail.com because that is

someone else's email address and unfortunately she gets some more emails sometimes. DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com and write couples counseling in the subject line. Yeah. And Shabbat Shalom to that. Amen.

I survived nine months in captivity And I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. Abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by. The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff.

They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it. Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast, Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time,

and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share

the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.