Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Must Be a White Lady with Kevin Hart

Episode Date: November 7, 2024

  Kevin Hart joins Chelsea to talk about his relationship with his kids, why nobody is invited to his house, and why he doesn’t care about getting bunions.  Then: A wife wants payback for an early-morning shock.  A hot tub drama creates a rift in a marriage. And a (very hot) woman swears she’s not on Only Fans.  * Catch Kevin in his new comedy tour Acting My Age, and Fight Out, now streaming on Peacock! * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us.

Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions.

Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, everybody. Today is Tuesday, actually. It's Election Day. So we are recording this episode on Election Day, and we do not know the results of the election. So here we are. Are you watching the news? You're going to wait until later? No, I've had a very, very busy morning, and I am choosing to be as optimistic and positive until we have something to not be optimistic and positive about. I woke up this morning. I did a workout. I signed about 1,000 of my books, sheets, for my new book that's coming out next year. And I signed a bunch so that they can put there called tip sheets so that they put them in the book. And then we had a huge contractor meeting with all these new contractors that I had to hire to fix my house for all the bad contracting done.

So that was a big – I wasn't really part of that. I saw it from the inside out, people circling the house, but there was a lot of very responsible looking men here this morning. And that made me feel very excited about the potential of my house finally being done one day. And so all of my team was here working with everyone. And then I did something else. It feels like I've been up for almost three days.

I'm going to my friend Connie's house to watch the election tonight. I do not believe that we will have an answer about who won the election tonight. but hopefully we'll get some lots of good news and if you're listening to this on Thursday and the election didn't go the way that we wanted I'll be back to discuss that next week I think that's a great way to put it my dad went in for surgery today he said he doesn't want to be present for the results he wants to be sedated so he's having a heart surgery today that's good yeah I think that's the right way to handle it that's good I will also be sedated I haven't chosen what drug is going to do that yet I have to go up to my little drawer and figure out what

kind of goodies. I have so many goodies. I have so many new goodies to try out. So I don't know what. Excellent. Something that says love all over it. So maybe I'll pop one of those suckers. Fantastic. I want to feel love. Also, people, we need more questions. We need people to write in with their problems or asking for advice. And we're doing mini-sodes this season, which are like additional 10-minute episodes, which we're trying to do with couples and couples counseling. So if you have those issues with anybody, that could be a friend or a lover or a co-worker or a family member. But also, any of your questions, from the silly to the serious, we are accepting questions at DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. Yeah, so if you've been thinking about writing in for a long time, this is your sign.

Write in. It's your sign! Today, our guest, first of all, I was in Vegas this weekend. I saw Adele on Friday night, which was amazing, before my show at Caesars on Saturday night, which was amazing. Thank you so much. It was so much fun. I loved how many people came out. It was so, so much fun. I had like 48 hours of great times in Vegas. And then Kevin Hart, I ran into, unfortunately, at Adele. And he groped me. I groped him too. And then we decided to go gambling. He was with Aniko, his wife. I was with my cousin, Molly. And I would just like to say that the

amount of money that Kevin lost during our gambling session in his private gambling room that was attached to his hotel room is too embarrassing to say on this podcast. You're an idiot. Anyway, our guest today stars in Peacock's Fight Out, along with every other movie that you'll have ever seen in your life. And you can catch him on his newest comedy tour, Acting My Age, and he is definitely not acting his age. Please welcome Kevin Hart. This is my friend, a long, long time friend, Kevin Hart. I'm very happy to see your face. I'm always happy to see you, actually.

I always love to see your face in the beginning, at first glance. In the beginning? Like I see you coming and I think, oh, fun. This will be fun. Then it dies down. It's a dip? It's not a dip, but I think there's an anticipatory level of excitement when I get to see you. Great word.

Yeah. Well, you've used a couple words wrong in the short time that you've been here, So I had to correct his grammar as I do. So hopefully, you know, if you say anything wrong here, I can correct you. The good news is I'm with the dictionary. And you're only an hour late today, which for you is early. I'm not an hour late. You're not late when you give a heads up two to two and a half hours before.

When you say, wait, wait, wait, that's fine that you're late. I don't care. No, but I just want to make it very clear. You said I'm on my way at 11 o'clock and you were supposed to be here at 1115. Totally fine. You live in East Bubblefuck. I'm on the other side. I'm in Calabasas.

Well, that's where the cheaper homes are, I guess. I don't come over the hill. Right. I don't know why you live in Calabasas. Because I don't want a backyard the size of my hand? Yeah, how about that? Maybe that's why. Because I actually want to walk around.

Kevin, what do you have to say for yourself? What do I have to say for myself? In general. In general. I have to say I'm proud of me. You are? Yeah. I'm proud of you, too.

If I had to say something, I would say that. I would say, though, we're in a different time. I'm getting older. So now— Do you feel like you're getting older? Absolutely. I feel like I'm fucking crushing it. And I'm 49.

Well, yeah. Getting older doesn't mean things are getting bad. But I mean looks-wise, like body-wise, you know, like my skin. You get better. Well, I've always been curious about your desire to work so much. I know you want to—well, no, I'll let you speak about why you want to work as hard as you work. I mean, look, half of it's fair, half of it's commitment. It's the idea of completion.

So starting something and not finishing it, it doesn't sit well with me. So right now there's so much that I've started, right? Not just in entertainment or comedy or acting, you know, from a creative space. Once you start building businesses and once you start developing like an infrastructure full of minds and people to help this thing last forever, it gets more difficult as you go on. It's not easy building a business with businesses in it. So completion, like I feel like I have to complete the task at hand and what that looks like is still to be determined, right? Because it's constantly growing, it's expanding. So what once was just the idea of a production company has turned into an independent studio that's turned into a multilayered entity with a VC attached with fun and development and opportunities to merge and partner with. Like, it's grows and grows and grows, and you look up, and you got a staff of so many, and it's like, well, fuck, I can't stop if I wanted to, because now I've invested all this time, and people have invested time into the thing that I believe in, so now I owe them the return of energy, and it just keeps going. But I think, I do believe, by the time I'm 50 to 53, that a lot of these things should have hard punctuations on them, and then I can kind of sit back and go, wow, man, it's dope that that happened. And how old are you now?

45 now. Okay, 45. So tell me about how you handle difficult situations in business. Like when something doesn't go your way, how have you learned and grown to deal with that kind of stuff? That's the easiest thing to understand in business. The bulk of things don't go your way. At first, all ideas are bad ideas to most. You got to prove your case.

And what you'll find for me is that a resume without receipts is just a piece of paper. It's just words. proof of concept is important so without a proof of concept I'm always selling you on an idea what I've learned is that an idea is something that comes a dime a dozen everybody has one but if my idea comes with a return that's a different thing so how do I put myself in the best position to make my partners understand that there's a mutual alignment where if I win you win if you win I win and that's also a track record right with all of the stuff you've done people can Trust your company, your brand, your, you know, whatever you're calling yourself these days.

Okay. What are you calling yourself these days? I mean, you just said, I think you just, you just went through it. Oh, right, right. A brand, you know, a businessman. And then I'm very curious because I know how close you are with your wife and your family. And this may sound like a boring question, but I am very curious as to how you manage to balance everything and spend enough time with your family and your wife and your kids. It's a system.

It's like a, it's a routine system. So if you've been doing it long enough, you'll find that any routine is very easy to stay true to. It's no different from waking up early in the morning, going to the gym, then going to work after the gym, then making it home for dinner, eat dinner with the kids, kids go to sleep, then you watch a movie, then you go to sleep, you wake up and repeat. Masturbate. Yeah, well. You're doing it, I'm sure. I don't really feel like I have to. Well, you probably are doing it anyway.

I don't think I need to. Okay. I think I'm fine. That's why it's weird that you're doing it. I get it, which is, once again, why I just don't feel like I need to. you don't need to address it fine but i don't need to address i don't need to do it okay my wife thinks i'm hot yeah well that's a separate conversation i'm having her on next week i mean if you want to talk to her fine all she's going to do is tell you i want to jump his bones all

the time and i would too i've walked by me and i see me wow i want to get a piece of that no there's been times where i've looked at myself in like a reflection i'm like i fuck yeah like i get it right yeah yeah i don't know if you do that you actually don't even have to look in the mirror Because if you turn on the television, you can just watch yourself in any sort of credit card commercial or airline commercial or toe spacers commercial. It really doesn't matter what you're promoting. It's a toe spacer, but I get what you're saying. Have you ever worn toe spacers? Okay, no.

Okay, well, I just started wearing them the other day. Well, I'm not going to wear them, and I don't need to answer a question about those. Why? Don't you want your toes to stay apart? No, I don't. Why not? I didn't know that's a thing. What if you get a bunion? Okay, then you get a bunion.

No, but do you want to look at a bunion? I don't want to look at a bunion, and if I had to, I don't care. I'm at an age where you think I care about my feet? I would hope so. Why? 45. It is what it is. What do you mean 45?

You're not dead. You have a whole lifetime ahead of you. This is what it is. This is mid-century. You have another, hopefully, 50, 45, 50 years, and you want to go around with bunions? I have no desire to correct my feet. You know what I equate that to? Like people that are 60 that get braces.

It's too late. I agree with you. It's over. It's over. I agree with adult braces. You waited until now? 60 years old you gonna fix it up they we done dealt with it through all this time leave it alone that's how i feel about my feet now to answer your question about my kids my kids and

my time is a system i'm i'm dedicated to a home schedule and if i'm filming a movie it changes but it's the reverse of touring right like touring you're going on the weekends you're home during the week if i'm filming a movie i'm going during the week but i'm home on the weekends so the kids understand that and they have and they they grow up understanding what my job is and when dad's home it's great and when he's gone we know what he's doing but we talk all the time my younger kids I think are are going to get a different version because I'm slowing down a little bit so are you well yeah I mean I'm I need to be home more and I can like I had the luxury of working from the office at home so I don't have to be in the office as much or have to be on the go

as much I think the bigger things have gotten you're in a position where you can delegate and and have other people kind of execute things where you once upon a time had to do it yourself I don't have to do as much of that anymore so my younger kids definitely get a I think a bigger dose of me than my olders did at this age. But my older kids were so close. Yeah, I know. They're getting the dose that they need. I would say that that is the most important age.

Your older kids are at the age where they need you the most. They need your influence the most. Absolutely. You know what I like is that they're comfortable enough to talk to me, good or bad. There's no secrets. I mean, there probably are. Well within reason, I know that there's probably things that my kids don't tell me.

And like any kid, I get it, right? But there's a lot that they do come to the table with. that we talk about. And, you know, I like the fact that they are very confident that there is no bad reaction from their father. Like it's, it's dialogue all the time and it's never met with negative energy or an angry tone. And that to me, that's what I'm most proud of with them. Like that's, that's where I can see the benefit of our relationship or the time that we're spending. Like I can see it paying off in real time because of the people that they've become. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's nice yes that's my that's my win what do you think about when you think about your own

childhood and you think about what your kids have what do you think about that it's crazy man because you know you don't see this happening and the way I grew up how I grew up I was a happy kid I was a happy fucking kid man and with less and the reason why I was happy is because you just appreciated the things that you had or that you were able to do. Going outside was a big deal. Playing with my friends outside was a big deal. Playing basketball in the schoolyard was a big deal. Walking to the store to buy candy was a big deal. Those were the big things. We didn't need the grandioso version of trips and adventures. We had the steps. We had the walk from where we live to meet up at a friend's house to go to the playground to go back from there to a friend's

house sit outside play a game that we created go back to the house step repeat like that's it if you were lucky you were in some extracurricular activities i swam play basketball my mom did the best that she could yeah when you talk about that that makes me nostalgic for my own childhood actually because there was an electricity in the air like even just going out in the street after school and playing like red rover red rover with the neighbors all on the street it's like where does that happen anymore where are there neighborhoods in minnesota where that that happens i hope so yeah not in los angeles i think the kids that are fortunate enough to grow up in the neighborhoods and by that i mean like you know where there's a there's a nice connectivity

within community people live in close proximity and the kids grow up knowing that friends across the street or down the street and as they get older that rapport gets better now you know it's not my kids fault but respectfully we don't we don't have neighbors right like we don't there is no walking to the house down the street like we're living to hopefully get a high level of privacy and exclusivity just in yeah in home because we don't want to be bothered or we don't want to be approached or it's me it's not them so because of that life that we now live they don't have that so it changes but then the kids get old enough and they're driving so my kids are driving at the age 16 and dad can we go to my friend's house and after that we're going to go meet and

do whatever you have a little bit more freedom but the idea of what you're doing is different from what I was doing right it's I don't my kids aren't hanging out after school they're not hanging out at the school and not breaking their necks to go to pep rallies or the football games it's different now and you know electronics and social media it's changed all of that to where from afar people feel close but you don't have the same synergy do you think you're addicted to social media no that's not i could give two shits about it but at one point it was it was what drove the machine so i'm one of the early winners in the space of social media about understanding the value of it like anything else is going to be good and bad i think that the bad is a little more

uh present today but i also think that the good is watching this younger generation crack the code and figure out like a different side of economic payoff they've cracked the code to where the value in return and energy creative on social media is making them millions of dollars live streaming gaming vlogging you name it they've cracked the code and made it a business so you're looking at a lot of people take care of themselves and their families from doing the thing that we thought was like real simple and just one note they've created a tear to it so I take my hat off to them but I also understand like I don't I don't do that I don't have that you don't have to do that well you don't have to do that it's also yeah okay moving on from that subject because who cares

I want to ask you, what are you most proud of as a person? Not of your accomplishments, but what is like a lesson that you learned that you didn't have to learn more than, you know, once or twice that you're proud of like understanding that lesson? I think the biggest lesson I'd probably say is don't expect others to give you what you give them, right? Like, one of the biggest things that I'm now very comfortable with understanding is my heart is different. And the energy attached to making others feel good or to put others in a position to do good is a high-level energy. And just because you have that, it doesn't mean that other people should. everybody operates differently right and everybody shows their love or shows their value or shows their i guess you can say commitment differently yeah so i took the pressure off of others when i stopped expecting you to do what i do or to work the same way that i did that happen when

you met the plastic cup boys uh i mean me and my guys have definitely had our you know peaks hills and valleys but i think they're they're all not only talented but they're all chasing different things for themselves so you go through this period where you want the most for everybody and if they're not doing what you think then you don't think that they're doing enough or you go through a period where you want you you feel like you're helping so many people and then when they exceed beyond what you've provided for them when they have their own success beyond what you've given them there can be friction because you're like wait wait wait you're going out the whole idea is for everyone to fly by themselves but some people in leadership positions want to hold

on to everybody and say don't exceed beyond the success that i've given you you know that that's an interesting point because i don't i don't suffer from that i'm very much a i want to see everybody fly like i want to see i want to see everybody get to the highest level of a win to me that's special if you want to know the true definition of success the true definition of success is look at the success of others around the successful person like that's if you really want to get into it that's like when i put you on chelsea lately before when you're playing yes yeah why are you playing nobody would it was because nobody thought because of his height and because of his body type that he would ever be successful i just don't think it was intentional

and i was like oh that's a cute little nugget like let's put him on chelsea lately and guess what he did as a thank you after three or four appearances he decided that he wanted to only be a guest on Chelsea Lately that he didn't want to be on the panel anymore because he was becoming too famous. That's what he said

after I put him on the show and that was his first television appearance probably. I think it was the right move. On The Jeffersons. He played that little kid on The Jeffersons too but that was a long time ago.

I think that that was the right move and just to kind of punctuate what I'm saying, you were trying to keep him. To hold you down? I think I said good for him for asking

and the answer is yes is what I said. Because I wanted you to fly like a little bird. You actually were very supportive of my progression in those days

But also, I think one thing that I'm really good at is I don't forget. You don't forget the road or the journey. So it's like those things that helped elevate you, you don't turn your back on them when things start going well. You figure out great ways for you to maintain those relationships and those platforms, right? Like how did I get to the place of like crazy availability and awareness from a fan base was because of all the things that I was able to do. So that panel was very important when the panel turned into just being a guest. Very important. That audience attached to late night with you was a very important audience.

Like those things transfer into ticket sales. So you don't shut the door on it. You do that while doing other things. And I think I did a good job of maintaining all of that as things continue to grow. And even today, when you look back and we're able to go and do a podcast, the dope thing about these relationships is like when people go and look at how long over the course of time you've stayed true to a friendship or stayed true to a great energy and a great rapport it's a story it's one long story wow they started here they went here and they've been doing this all the way

oh my god it's so dope that they still find a way to maintain a relationship it's so dope that we're able to connect those dots with them that to me is special you don't have many of those well you do So, I mean, loyalty is a big thing for you. You're very loyal, and I love that about you. I feel the same way about being loyal to people and reciprocity. But, like, what you're saying is not hanging your hat on reciprocity. Like, don't expect from others what you give, which is also a good life lesson. And another thing that I very much respect about you is your vibration.

You are operating at a high vibration. You want to bring people in. You're a lover. You've always been this way. I've never seen you be an asshole once. I mean you are an asshole like you are an asshole like you're an asshole

I mean I already talked about that stuff so I don't need to expound I just don't think you need to say that I think you're an asshole but it's a good asshole and it's a ridiculous asshole I don't know I don't know if you can be a good asshole but loyalty is important to you

very very absolutely so when you say what you just said which is don't expect other people to give you the love that you're giving them necessarily then how does loyalty play into that well i don't think it's i don't think it's just love i think it's the energy right like if you just said if you're operating at this crazy vibration as high vibration like you just said i can't expect everyone to meet me here yeah i i understand what's special about where i am and i understand how passionate i am

about wanting so much for so many if you don't have the same wants for yourself i can't get mad at you i can't take that as like disrespect or or i can't get frustrated i have to then say it's dope and i understand like what you want for you is for you i want to just do what i can to help you and then i hope you get whatever it is that you want it's much easier when you can process it differently and look at it with a dual pov then look at it from one perspective which used to be for me i used to suffer from well if you don't want what i want that you don't want the best for yourself like that's crazy like you don't want obviously you're not trying to be the best and everybody's not trying to do that everybody's not trying to be the best and some people want to

be enough or some people want a little bit or a little taste and some people want to be content there's a there's different levels for a reason and to my to my fault a younger version of myself It was like man if you're not on this page And you just don't see what I see Then I just can't have That around because your energy is taken away From my energy and that's not The case all the time you should be able to separate it

You should be able to understand it and you should also be able to Let people figure things out on their own time And sometimes when they do It's a great full circle moment If they don't it doesn't matter It doesn't affect you to the point of no return But I used to operate as if it did At one point

That's the biggest lesson that I think I had. And when I got out of my way and I started letting other people flourish and be great and stop trying to control and navigate every single thing, I started to see things grow. Okay, on that note, we're going to take a break and we're going to be right back with Kevin Hart. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months.

I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, Shut up. Don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.

But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us.

Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this? How about we flip it on its head, right? How about we flip the script, okay? What if the surprise woman, who actually you think is the straight man, is actually the one who's acting weird? Adam Scott. this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would

never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that seems like if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like they're like oh it's so stupid everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way

Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us, not a lot of people smile around here.

It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is, and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits. change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, and we're back with Kevin Hart. Can you put your pants back on? What do you mean?

Oh, nothing. This isn't a visual podcast, but I still need you to put your pants back on. My pants weren't on. You would have known. I will also have you put on your headphones right now because we're going to start with a collar. Put those over your pants, actually. We have collars,

and you're going to give advice to real people. They call in for advice. It's called Dear Chelsea. They call in for you for advice? Is that how you wear? These people are asking you for advice? Have they seen you? Is that how you wear headphones like this?

Who are you? Beats? You don't need two ears. Why not? Because you only need to hear in one ear. It's not an air. It's an ear. You're probably one of those people that wear two pods.

Who does this? You wear both your pods when you're on the phone. But what's the point of having a thing on your face? Because I want to still hear you clear. You're going to hear me in the fucking microphone, miracle ear. I can hear you just like this, though. Yeah, see that? See, this is, you know what that's called?

This is crazy. Gaslighting? No, this is crazy. This is what the millennials are talking about. Oh, are you talking about me? I'm a millennial? Are you talking about me? No, I'm saying that you're what they talk about.

Oh, millennials are talking about us? No, I didn't say us. Oh, they're talking about, oh, you think that I'm talking about me only. Yeah, I'm out of it. Women like me who go like this. If you did that, they would go, she gets it. No. Yeah, all right.

Remember I told you that. That's stupid. First of all, it fucking hurts my earrings, and it hurts my ears. Well, then there's more reason for you to have one off. No, it hurts my ears to have it off. Why would it hurt your ears to have it off of your ear? Because my ears are way bigger than your ears. They always have been.

Are your ears on your cheek? It's catching my ear. Look at how big my ears are. Wow. holy shit have you ever they keep growing yours are like little two oreos batwing my jesus my ears actually are like my are in a very embarrassing feature they look like a labia the bottom part is like labia it's like flappy i'm like no i know they're bigger than my vagina like a whole nother person on your fucking ear jesus what do we have today katherine oh we have

some very juicy questions for you kevin our first question comes from kelly and she has a question about her best friend try and be serious okay okay this could be serious or it could not be we don't know yet there's a mix this isn't rocket fucking science shut up answer the questions i get it dear chelsea my best friend and i have been friends for over 20 years now but lately she's been getting on my nerves welcome to the club every time we go out to do anything she is overtly sexual with any male around. She got divorced a couple of years ago, so this is her first time being truly single. She's joined every single dating app, and I'm glad she's getting out there. But what I'm not so cool about is her acting like a cat in heat every time

we're out in public. A few months ago, we were at her daughter's 21st birthday, where she was hitting on her daughter's friends to the point of adjusting her shirt so her cleavage was fully on display. Her daughter was mortified. I did address that her daughter looked embarrassed by her behavior, and she just laughed it off, so I don't know how to approach this or if I even should. Last weekend, she hit on my married friend before even taking the time to ask if he was married. I'm heading out right now with my friends and did not invite her, but I know this is going to be a topic of conversation, and I feel the need to defend her. Am I being a prude, or is this just a phase I should wait out? Kelly. Hi, Kelly. Hey, Kelly. Hi, guys. Hi,

this is Kevin Hart. Do you recognize him? He's our special guest today. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Hi, you want me to go oh sure go ahead yeah i think i have a pretty good okay rap on this okay first of all you know i think you have to have a little bit of understanding to the fact that she's divorced and life after divorce if you haven't been divorced you don't know what that's like so companionship is something that people want something that people long for and feed for it sounds to me like there's just a want and need for companionship and that companionship right now is being filled with flirtation or fun in the environments that you're going to so if you were looking for a real change and it was annoying you at a high level i think that you

should just change the environments that you attend with this particular friend in other words if you don't want to be a part of the flirtatious or salacious things or ways i think you change it to just lunch or early dinner. And there's not the crazy party environment or the world where you can approach or be approached. And I think for you, you'll then have a better understanding of what that relationship is

and then you can separate yourself and she can go do her thing when she wants to and you don't have to be annoyed and come off as the friend that's prudish or just not fun within the world of fun that she's looking for. How long has she been divorced? She's been divorced about three years.

Okay, so she's not newly divorced. Not newly divorced, no. She's just getting out of the newly divorced area. Right, getting out of it, yeah. And she's been in two long-term relationships since then. And so is this flirtation, like horniness level, has it spiked? Is that what you're noticing?

Yeah, I've definitely noticed in the past probably three months that it's really, really spiked. She just gets overly like touchy and feely with people that she really doesn't know. She doesn't really know their situation. yeah no she's making people around her uncomfortable some of my friends have said i'm a little uncomfortable with her around my husband because she didn't even know that he was married to me she was just in this big friend group and was like petting him i was like yeah i

can see that well i think kevin's advice is great and sound but i think so too if the problem continues because like it could really be like a hormonal female thing you know what i mean because all of a sudden someone going around and like you know kind of semi-groping people is is a problem and it will become a problem, especially since people are fucking married and they don't like that. But if you want to have an honest conversation with her, I would as a woman appreciate a woman having an honest conversation with me saying like, hey, your behavior, which has happened in the past, your behavior was inappropriate or you're, you know, like, hey, you made someone feel uncomfortable. You don't want to shame her and say everyone's talking about

you. But you want to do you do want to be honest as if out of a friendship, you kind of owe each other honesty to say hey that guy's married and his wife was there and he was uncomfortable and she was uncomfortable and cite one example instead of 10 you know right when you do want to have a conversation if it gets to the point where you think you have to have the conversation if you in the business of defending her i think you could just say she's just going through something right now i'm gonna be her friend and you know hopefully this is just a phase is that really going through something some people were just a little faster with life no no because she said this isn't typical of her behavior right she said in the last three or four months so maybe like she's in

a fucking mindset like you know what i've i haven't let go and just completely let loose and you know what at this time i just want to fucking do what i want when i want in return granted yes rubbing some people the wrong way flirting with husbands when you don't know right that they're married okay yes but it's not like she's going and said oh this is my husband then she's still doing shit she didn't know i'm saying if she's in a mindset of i'm going to live and operate differently for me i think you should just be open in the discussion like hey just tell me where you at where you are mentally like are you on like a more free life living journey right now because it's appearing like you know you just you look like a fucking cat in heat right now like

every guy you flirt with look like you want to fuck everybody if that's the case let table it So I know where you are and I can let you operate when and where you want to do that. But you can't do that in all the settings. It's coming off crazy. But let me know because me and you are close enough. So I'm on the table. I'm on the table of understanding. That's actually really good advice.

I wasn't expecting that from you. You don't expect me to be a sound person? Not a sounding board, no. Common sense? Well, it's not common sense. It's a little bit more nuanced than common sense. And I wouldn't expect common sense from you either. everybody wants to attack the person with like whole like activities no i'm not saying that i'm

just saying when you make someone feel uncomfortable i want to know if i made someone feel uncomfortable if i was at a party and was like hitting on a husband i could tell you you've definitely made yeah well that was intentional this is not intentional i don't think well and i'm sure there's like room for levity in that conversation about like girl you gotta tone it down yeah yeah exactly it doesn't have to be so serious yeah you know yeah i definitely want to come at it from a place of love and understanding because i know everything she's been through on her human diary she's mine yeah i get that but i i really love that approach yeah yeah a two-pronged approach where you talk but also maybe she's a brunch friend for a while what is a two-pronged

approach called what is that what remember we used to call it to talk about it's called a two-pronged approach i think that's what you would call it i think i think a two-pronged approach is actually i was thinking of the shocker that's what remember the shocker um i think that's Sorry, this is unrelated. It might be directly related to her. Maybe that's exactly what she's looking for is the shocker. Give her the shocker and send her on her way. Anyway, I think that those all sound like good options.

Do you? Absolutely. Yeah, thank you guys so much. I really appreciate it. Okay, thank you for calling in. Thank you. Bye. That was good, Kevin.

Yeah, it was good. For you. What do you mean for me? I was impressed by that. Why can't you just like give the compliment and stay there? We'll see. Because you do it and then there's this weird change. It happens right after.

It's like the car just goes to the left. It's like we're on a great road. You want to make car jokes right now? I don't think so. All right. I'm sorry. Well, our next question comes from Jennifer. And this one is just an email, so she won't be joining us.

But the subject line is hot tub fury. Dear Chelsea. Don't you have a show about hot tubs? It's a cold tub. Cold tub. Cold plunge. Oh, you do the cold plunges and all that stuff? He does a bit like that, yeah, too.

One day she'll support me. Go ahead. I believe I have supported you on several occasions. I think I worked out with your fucking trainer, too. You did. On a show. What was that show? Was that the Cold Plunge show?

That was What the Fit. What the Fit. Jennifer says, Dear Chelsea, I have an absolutely effed up situation I am dealing with. I've been married to my husband for 14 years, together for 20. We own a business and a home together. On to the hot tub fury. There's a woman who circles our friend group. Let's call her Abby.

On New Year's Eve 2020, she got naked in my hot tub at a party, and I told her flat out that I was uncomfortable with her being naked in the hot tub with my husband. Sounds like this last call that she does, right? This girl gets around. I told my husband the same thing. I have zero problems with him having single female friends, and he has a lot that he sees for drinks or shows that I don't wish to attend or don't care about. In 2022, when I went on a cruise, I later learned that Abby had been at my home when I was not there.

Then this past New Year's Eve, she got naked in the hot tub again in front of me. I confronted her and asked her to leave. I was away this past Friday night and around 11 p.m. I got a text from a neighbor telling me the dogs were barking. I checked the cameras. I see him standing naked behind our bar with two cocktails in front of him. So I switch views and see Abby naked in our hot tub. I didn't say anything to him.

I couldn't decide my next move, so I waited. When I got home, I realized that I wasn't eating or sleeping, so I decided to confront him. I have since found out that Abby is at my house whenever I go out of town. I have also gone through all the camera footage and found that nothing beyond the naked hot tubbing and some bizarre sitting in the bar naked has happened. They never touched each other, not even a hug when she was leaving. It's so bizarre to me. I'm uncertain if this is cheating or severe boundary stepping. I don't feel like I can leave and start a new life and career at 46. Help, Jennifer. well she really needs to be a caller i know because a there's so many questions do they

have cameras they don't have care the husband knows about the cameras right so of course he's not going to be doing anything on camera so perhaps they're not doing anything in front of her and then they go inside and do something i mean that's one theory right like he's not an idiot he's it's his house so why would he be fucking somebody on camera that seems really stupid yeah kevin what is your what do you have to say about this i mean this is this is just stupid i mean like literally this is this is one of the ones where you what are you asking what help is she looking for like if you're okay with your husband having female friends and you have been for the duration of your marriage and your relationship and you choose to not be around

those environments so that means that you support whatever the world of fun is and you're his level of comfort has progressed and grown over the years and if the female friends come over your house when you're not there and you're aware or not aware you said boundaries or lines have been like well it appears that you've already set some type of boundary that this is okay i don't i don't know what husband in his right mind is having female company over as if a wife can't find out when there's cameras and camera footage and you checking the cameras and then seeing her at your house numerous amount of times

and then her getting naked in front of you when you're there obviously she doesn't feel like she's doing anything wrong so somewhere along the line somebody's not being very clear with what's happening but also you did say she asked this woman

to leave because she was naked your husband understands that's also setting a boundary saying you don't want to be around that and then the husband's she's there all the time when you're gone, that's fishy. But she got naked again. Yeah, of course.

The first time she got naked, he was there. But then at that, she said at the New Year's party, she got naked. But I also don't trust the husband. I think the husband is fine. You think so? He's not doing, the husband ain't doing nothing wrong. He's like, look at the cameras.

Go look at the cameras. I ain't touch this woman. I ain't do a goddamn thing with this woman. Yeah, he was naked. So what? We sitting at the bar, having a drink. The hot tub got hot. We got out.

We sat at the bar. You see it right there. Yeah, yeah, that's his defense. You don't think I know there's cameras? Obviously, I know you can look at this. We're not doing anything wrong. I find that behavior very suspicious. I don't think two people are hanging around naked because they're nudists.

I don't think that. I don't think that's a thing. I think there's probably something more to the story that you're not willing to face. And if you don't want to face it, then I would say turn off the cameras and look away. I'll tell you another big thing. The whole idea of strangers over your house. Like, I've never been a company at my house guy. Her saying, oh, yeah, well, she's there and other people were there at the house.

Like, this is why you don't invite people to your home. Weird shit happens when weird people get free and get comfortable. Somebody feeling that comfortable that they can get naked at your home where you lay your head and your husband. That's a problem within itself. And if it's happening a number of times, clearly somewhere along the lines, when it happened the first time, somebody was like, hey, go, girl. Somebody supported it. Like, you don't double back and do the naked thing again if it was met with aggression or resistance the first time. Exactly.

There's some information being left out. Exactly. You told her not to be naked in your house. You asked her to leave. And the minute you were gone, she went back and did the same thing you asked her not to do. so she has no boundary with you because somebody else has let her know that she doesn't have to have a boundary

and that somebody is your fucking husband so you have a problem with your husband I believe something more is going on between those two you're 46 years old that is not the end of the world please don't ever say what am I going to do as a 46 year old woman

plenty of shit you can change the channel anytime you want in this life and apparently they say if you make it through the next 10 years we can live till we're 120 So you might have a whole life ahead of you. I don't know if I, I mean, I've already spoken about how I don't want to live that long.

I can't afford to live that long. It'll be exhausting. What am I going to be doing stand-up when I'm 109? Like, I hope not. I don't want to see that. Nobody wants to see that. I don't want to see that. I mean, talk about vaginal dryness, you know?

I mean, honestly, 109 years old? My God. I will figure out a way to get a wet pussy at 109. Anyway, we got a little off track. But you know whose pussy isn't dry? The woman who's sitting in your jacuzzi naked. That's an aggressive, that's a very aggressive. It's an aggressive move.

So do we send her to couples counseling? Do we tell her, oh, you need to check out of the marriage? You're not couple counseling. Have a direct conversation with your husband. This is not a very hard problem to solve. Yeah. It's very easy. All right.

And if he won't stop seeing Abby when? Well, then that's a big red flag, too. This is all very odd. There's no counselor that you're going to go to. I mean, it's good, actually, to go to a counselor with him. So to have someone tell him, a third party, this is not normal behavior. You don't have naked, opposite-sex people at your house when your wife is out of town. That leads to one thing.

I mean, where are they going when they're— Drinks at the bar, right? Yeah. Very bold. Very bold. All right, Jennifer. Well, keep us posted. Well, our next caller is Savannah.

Her subject line is, my stepmom thinks I'm doing porn. Oh. Dear Chelsea— Oh, that's perfect. but Kevin just launched his OnlyFans page. Oh, amazing. So that's perfect. That's what this is about.

He's actually on it right now. Dear Chelsea, My stepmom has been in my life since I was 10, and I'm now 31. We've had a pretty good relationship for most of my life, but for a year now, we haven't spoken. I got out of rehab last year, and at first, she and my whole family

were nothing but supportive and proud. When I got out of rehab, I had moved back to my apartment after treatment and was enjoying some time before reentering the workforce, especially since I was still in treatment three times a week. I began to get questions about how I could afford being unemployed. Then my dad called me, who I have the closest and most loving relationship with, and asked me if I was selling my body on the internet or doing that, quote, only funds thing.

I was aghast. I have no judgment, nor do I condemn that line of work, but it's just simply not something I'm comfortable with, and I have a successful career. After some interrogation, I found out that my stepmom told my mom and dad that I was doing OnlyFans because I had once asked an offhand question about, oh, what do people put on their taxes if they're making bank doing that sort of work? That was last year.

We haven't spoken since my dad called with her on the line to host the apology. We haven't had a genuine conversation since, and that's over a year, which is extremely unlike us. How do I get us both to move on? I feel like I need a genuine apology where my dad isn't policing the phone call and it appears she's fine going on

without speaking forever. Please help, I want our relationship back, but I need more from her. savannah hi savannah hey savannah hi kelsey hi in your stepmom's defense you look like you could have your own only fans you're very hot you're yeah you know what i mean so and women like that are always think younger girls are up to something and i'm like i'm not up to half the shit you think i'm up to i'm just honest about what i am doing so it sounds a lot worse because everybody else is lying but anyway so she's just like kind of holding a grudge against you since that happened

do you feel like? Or it's just not the same since she confronted you? I think she's afraid to talk to me again after she knows that she spread a rumor about me that was really damaging, especially in a really vulnerable time. I was just getting out of rehab and figuring out what do people think of me now? I'm going back into the workforce. How do I explain this year gap I took? So I was really dealing with insecurities. So she hit me at a really low point. So when my dad called and said, you know, your stepmom's on the phone and she kind of just said, well, we didn't know what you were doing. So I just didn't know. And I'm like, that's not a valid enough excuse to make up the rumor that you did. So we've just been going for about a year with really not reaching

out to each other, seeing each other at big family events and kind of saying hi. And I know we need to have another conversation to really clear the air. Well, this is probably a good step in your recovery, actually, to have an adult conversation that isn't acrimonious and to actually say, hey, listen, I know things haven't been the same in the last year. And I just want you to know exactly why it struck me so hard because I was in such a vulnerable spot in my life. That was so unfair that you assumed because I asked one question. And so it really, really hurt me. But we're past that, I hope. And I would love to work towards building back our relationship, right? I mean, that's all reasonable. Absolutely. I think I just wish she had the

gumption to... I have a stepsister who she fawns over, as she should, that's her daughter. But I just wish i felt like she knows like something's wrong and she misses the relationship too because it feels like we're just in stalemate forever i know but don't wish for what you can do like you could be a bigger person here kevin was trying to say what what were you trying to say well chelsea for one of the few times you're actually kind of right and i never actually say that like i never i've really never i don't think i've ever agreed with you this is probably like yeah this is probably like one of the first times i feel like you said something good um i'm going to give you a really good cut to the chase moment and this is what a volume of people high

volume of people suffer from right i was talking about earlier like the expectation yeah of what you feel you would do you put on someone else and if they don't meet that expectation it bothers you right people are so afraid to just be direct and have forward-facing conversations like a year a year gap of like a fall in a relationship doesn't make sense it's something that's honestly Not that difficult It's not This isn't a hard problem Is she wrong for assuming

That you were doing something Absolutely Is it uncommon For women today To be doing the thing That she assumed Or that she thought Based off of whatever

Was she heard It is what it is You got It's a multi-billion dollar business Where everybody's doing it And by the way It doesn't mean that If you were

You're doing porn You could be posting Regular pictures You could have Of your toes You could be wearing Toe spacers There's a lot of foot fetishes

It could be anything I thought about toes. Okay, listen, it could be anything. And I'm just saying the first assumption and thought attached to it doesn't have to be the worst. So there is just a assumption and assumption that's taking place. You're hurt because of her assumption and you think that I'm doing something that I would never do. She's like, well, I thought because of what you said and okay, I spun it and put it out there. It's a real easy conversation.

Hey, we were close. It's real stupid for us to have this thing holding over our head. I just didn't like your timing of it you know what I was going through and I felt from you if anybody you should actually have a little more sensitivity in knowing how vulnerable I was at that time now if you didn't maybe we missed some key conversations but I was at a low and coming out you hitting me with that it kind of put me back down and like now as I'm becoming like back to myself of old and experiencing life and loving life I'm realizing that I'm missing what we once had i want to work on getting back there but i need you to understand where i was and also

i want to hear from you just in like addressing that and being accountable for that then let's move on from it but it's a five minute to ten minute conversation these things don't have to be drawn out and you're being the bigger person because she's your stepmother so technically she is the more mature older version of a woman who should have been you know making these inroads to you already but this is a great exercise to actually just say fuck it i don't care about the smallness of another person i'm going to be the big person and say yeah no problem i mean you know it's over but this is where i was coming from and i'd love to build back our relationship and get back to normal this feels awkward and guess what if the relationship doesn't make it

back to the standards of old it happens it's life like like so holding on to a concept or holding on to this feeling of oh like that may not be in your best interest for the new version of yourself that you've now become so don't be afraid to say okay like if we don't get back we don't but at least i got this off my chest so you can know how i feel and i know that i was very adult with how i approached you it was very much mature this isn't a catty moment of back and forth this is one of simple understanding and i feel like if we have that it's good absolutely i agree with all of that and then at the end you can just say and thanks for the great idea i actually started an OnlyFans page and I'm crushing it yeah yeah by the way I'm I'm thinking about it um because you

need more money well oh for her I thought about that we had a trip to Chicago we were watching my niece and nephew and I thought about just saying like oh I'm gonna disappear for an hour I've got an appointment with my OnlyFans so I'll be right back yeah yeah but I think that's that's the bigger picture you know always just step above when people are bringing like being low about something just be bigger and congrats yeah I guess I'm just afraid that if I come with that that she'll hide from it or won't address it or I won't get the resolution it doesn't matter what you get it matters how you go after it like you be the bigger person you do it if you don't get the results you desire that's on her that's not on you you've done your part Chelsea actually you

brought this up on another episode recently was forgiving someone before you get the apology you know you had sort of the forced apology but I wonder if you can go in you know with a sense of empathy like she might be feeling kind of embarrassed about what she did yeah and like going in being like I like spend some time with yourself forgive her and then approach it do you know what your dad said to her because I bet you your dad gave her an earful about that so my dad had to call me one morning early in the morning he was like and my dad and I are very close he'll always sees me as his little girl. You know, we talk three times a week, but it was the worst call ever. He called me early in the morning. He just said, are you doing porn? Which hearing that

from his mouth, I was just like, oh, I told him no. He believes me. He is frustrated now that there's tension, of course. So the rumors put to bed, but I know he's just wishes the tension would be over and he has, he believes my side. He knows that that's not what I was up to. So yeah, it's really just the conflict between us that's left. Yeah. Well, congratulations on getting sober kevin has been struggling with his sobriety since i met him oh how's it going kevin well you know i have little shoes so it's tough to kick it did you get that you see that joke right there no i did not get that i'll think about that once you leave and try to piece that together lucky lucky enough i i have it but i do admire uh those that have like made it out of the fire

so that's pretty dope to hear you say i did i was but i am now like yeah i think that's uh That's special. Real heroes don't always wear capes, buddy. Yeah. Okay, thanks for calling. Thanks, Savannah. Bye, Savannah. Thanks.

Bye-bye. Savannah really looked like a Savannah, didn't she? No, I know. She really did. So just to be clear, there is no link. Oh, no, there is not. Although she said on her pre-interview, her cousin does OnlyFans, so it's like a thing that's in the realm of reality for her family.

Yeah, got it. But I'm saying just- No, there's no link. Got it. There's no link. She's very hot. I'm just saying. Anyway, moving along.

moving along. Well, let's take a quick break and we'll be back to wrap up with a very stupid question. Oh, great. Okay. Okay. We're going to take a break. I'm going to give Kevin a quick bath and we'll be right back. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at fellerdirect.com When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring

how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them they're stories about what it takes to make it out alive

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table.

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Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can can

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or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this everyone's so dumb except for you fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and He wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle.

I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is

and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back.

We're back with Kevin Hart. We are, and we're back with a final kind of dumb question. Perfect. That's a great way to end this. Yes, I like it. Gina says, Dear Chelsea. Some of our conversations today is probably some of the most serious conversations we've ever had. Even though I wouldn't consider this a serious conversation, there were moments of seriousness within the conversation. Yeah, I think so.

For you and me, because usually it's not very serious. No, but I think some of those questions required a good POV. No, no, no. I mean, even our own conversation before the questions. Yes, this was a lighter. There's harassment coming from one of us to the other person. To you, to me. Yeah, usually. That's true. I'm not going to lie. And you take the abuse very well. You almost seem to enjoy it.

Well, yeah. I mean, I've just grown accustomed to it. Right. Okay. That's what I wanted to say. That's what it is. Well, Gina says, Dear Chelsea, I couldn't think of a better person to help me decide if I should listen to the little devil on my shoulder that wants me to seek some mostly innocent revenge on my husband. We have been happily married for one year and living together for three. While living together has come with the expected amounts of uncovering stupid shit we are going to argue about, there's one silly thing we haven't come to a resolution on. The water diverter in the tub slash shower. He thinks it's no big deal to leave it on the shower setting, and I think it's

a common courtesy to put it back to the tub setting so no one gets sprayed in the face with cold water at 6 a.m. I'm sure you can guess which of us keeps getting sprayed in the face at 6 a.m., but I'm not here to discuss our disagreement nor our flaws. Like I said, I'm here to discuss revenge. We recently installed a dog shower attachment in our home's only bathroom. Ever since we installed it, I can't help but think how if I just accidentally leave the diverter

in the new dog shower position, he will get sprayed directly in the face at 5 a.m. I say do it. Absolutely. No question. First of all, I want to thank you for bringing a question like this to the podcast because we need more levity. And I like the stupidity of this. and absolutely retaliate against your husband. That's so funny.

And after we, I just gave you a bath that we get a bathtub question. That's actually, it's not. But I just wanted to back up. The dog diverter is in their shower. Yes, yes. I just wanted to make sure I heard that correctly. And the only one in the house.

The only one. You'll be guaranteed to be sprayed in the face. Got it, got it. So the dog takes a shower with the couple? Got it. Or in the same shower as the couple? Yeah, same shower. That's a bigger question.

One more guess. I'm going to guess that these people are white if I had to guess. why do you say that why are you being discriminatory it feels a little racist I'm willing to bet the farm on this one why would you say that white people would have

why because black people the dogs the dog is probably showering with a hose outside there's no such thing as a diverter in the black household especially not in the one bathroom in the house get that god damn dog outside

and go get that out there that dog in the bucket and figure it out. Yeah, that's what it is. It is so true. It's very true. You don't let your dog sleep in the bed. No.

No. Black people don't like that. No. All my black friends, when they ever see me, they go, you look like one of those girls who sleeps in bed with your dog. And my other friend, Yaya, always goes, white girls don't wash their legs.

We've talked about this. White girls don't wash their legs. I go, why do my legs need to be washed? They're fucking covered all day. It's very true. It's not like my legs are going out without me. It's very true. And when I take a shower,

all the soap from my shower comes down. Tiffany, I had this conversation with too. So you feel like that's washing. It's not like my legs are out there gardening all day without me. You fucking wash your legs. No, I don't

think so. What do you mean you don't think? What is going on with your legs that they need washing? It's your body. You wash your body, Chelsea. Your entire body. You don't pick and choose. I have hot spots. I have hot spots that I wash I get one, two, three, four

And I get those going And then the fifth is the head And then everything is fine after that No, it's not, Chelsea That's like cleaning in between your toes Who got in there? What do you mean who got in there? Who got in my leg?

That it's dirty The back of your knee Do you see how the back of your knee is right now? Yeah, with clean clothes over it Okay, yes, but you're going to conjure up sweat On the back of your knee No, I'm not a molester. Why would I be sweating on the backs of my knees?

Because you're sitting with your legs crossed. Yeah, crisscross applesauce. Okay, this is a hot spot. Behind your knees is a hot spot. No, no, no. Maybe for you, it's not for me, okay? This is just where we're culturally different. Well, yeah, I guess so.

Well, I'm just telling you, it really is. And this is a thing that we just have to nip in the bud. Also, you probably don't even use a wash rag. You're like a hand. No, I don't use a wash rag. Oh, my God. No, I don't. Nothing.

Oh, because your hands have to. Because your hands are But why is it This is your scrubber Oh because you have the The loofahs on your hands Why So you get the

Why don't you Why is sleeping with the dogs I mean I understand That that is That that is actually dirty Yes But who cares What do you mean who cares

That's my bed That's my bed The dogs are outside all day Running around in the backyard Playing and stuff That you want them to come in Jump in the bed Sleep in the bed

You've never pissed the bed And slept in it No, you wake up after you do it. Now, definitely, I have wet the bed in young and old age. I am definitely guilty of that. But immediately I get up, and this has to be changed. This has to be, this is ridiculous. I once, this is not a flattering story, and that's why I'll share it.

I once was very, I don't remember what drugs I was on, but I was on something. And we were in bed, and I had to pee so many times before I could go to sleep. and we were in a hotel room in Vegas. This is when I was in my 20s and I was so sick of getting up to pee that I just said, I'm just going to pee right here and I'm going to move over onto the other side of the bed.

And I thought I could do that. And then when I moved over to the other side of the bed, I was like, this is disgusting. I can't. Pee there too, right? Because it spreads. Yeah. And that was the last time I peed in the bed. By the way, this is a good moment just to kind of point out to the listeners that this is who you're asking your questions to.

this is who you are asking for sound advice from the woman that felt that she could pee on one side of the bed and roll over and that there wouldn't be pee there no forget the smell none of that stuff matters okay I'm gonna change her

name from Chelsea to Hotspot Hotspot Chelsea cause you only watch her what if I I go into the shower like it's an emergency I don't want to be lingering in there

so I have to get all the zones right away just in case because I've treated it like a fire drill no why are you in a rush

so if I dilly dally around with my legs and my arms you're adding a three minute you're adding a three minute

time stamp to your shower yeah I don't like being in the shower for that long so that's probably why it is really this is so interesting

to me because this debate is ongoing it is It's the one thing, like, you know, there's so much that we discuss, but nobody wants to just nip this in the bud. And I think it all goes away. We would feel more comfortable as a culture if we would just hear some white people say, you know what? I understand the washcloth and I get it.

Okay. If that's what this is about, I'll meet you halfway and I'll use a washcloth. It doesn't mean I'm going to wash my entire body, but I will. I'll start by at least admitting that the use of the washcloth is important. And then we can rest there. And I think we can work on other stuff in steps. But the double bang of no washcloth and only hot spots, that's a lot. That's a lot to digest.

Kevin, I want to thank you for coming over today. What the fuck, man? Okay, what does he feel? Why are you acting like that? He's not trying to sleep in the- I just want to say what he feels like I have. Well, he's a dog sniffing you. Why are you being like that?

But it's the way he looks at me while he's doing it. It's very like, what's his deal? Confrontational? You've had a problem with all of my dogs Every dog I've had You're never friendly to dogs Because they all think I'm 50 cent They don't think you're 50 cent

They think I'm 50 Before we wrap, Kevin, what do you say to Gina? I know Chelsea, you say spray them in the face Should Gina spray her husband in the face? I want Gina to fucking get a hobby I want Gina I want Gina to figure out What else to do during the day

Instead of talking to me about the goddamn shower settings We must be low on collars so what do i do i mean what do you guys think do i get them back or do i i feel like it's payback like what what are you talking about like god damn it do you want to switch it yourself you don't if you know it's there i feel like it automatically happens usually it's supposed to automate anyway yeah and anyway is right anyway this is the end of this episode and the episode The episode's title will be called Anyway, not to be confused with any ways. Good night.

Good one. Good night, man. I'll see you next week. Love you, Chelsea. Thank you. I love you, Kevin. My upcoming shows are Brooklyn on November 8th, Bethlehem, November 9th, Philadelphia, November 10th, and then I'm going to Texas.

November 15th, 16th, and 17th, I will be in Dallas, Austin, and Sugar Land, Texas. And then I have another show in Vegas on November 30th. San Diego is November 29th, and then Des Moines, Omaha, New Orleans, and Atlantic to close out the year. So check ChelseaHandler.com for tickets, and I will see you there. If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com, and be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.

I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Dillard, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome

home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.

I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Nick Turturro.

You probably know me from NYPD Blue, The Longest Yard, or Spike Lee's Black Klansman. And on my new podcast, Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, I deliver pizza to a new guest. I've shared a slice with everyone, from Seth Rollins. What are you doing with my belt? To Bill Burr.

I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now, we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Turturro. It's called happiness. Delivering happiness. And many, many more. Open your free iHeartRadio app, search Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, and listen now. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.