Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - My Apology Tour

Episode Date: May 23, 2019

Chelsea is joined by her best friend, Mary McCormack and her assistant, Brandon and they humorously unveil Chelsea’s life changing experience with therapy and the glue that keeps them together.  Credits:Host: Chelsea HandlerGuests: Mary McCormack & Brandon MarloExecutive Producer: Conal Byrne Producers: Sophie Lichterman, Jack O’Brien Writers: Jamie Loftus, Anna Hossnieh & Sophie Lichterman  Consulting Producers: Nick Stumpf, Miles Gray, & Anna HossniehThis episode was Engineered, Mixed & Edited by: Danl Goodman Music by: KingsburyOrder: "Life Will Be the Death of Me"Available in stores and online now Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Bell. Connection is everything. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. Abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Chelsea Handler. Welcome to Life Will Be the Death of Me, a production of iHeartRadio. You may know me from my shows, my TV shows, Chelsea on Netflix, or Chelsea Lately,

or Chelsea Does series on Netflix or any of my books. I am doing a limited series podcast to go hand in hand with my sit-down comedy tour about my book called Life Will Be the Death of Me. I wrote a book about me seeing a psychiatrist for the first real time in my life and getting real about childhood trauma, loss, grief, all of the things that none of us

ever really want to deal with. I dealt with them at 42 and still dealing with them now, But I have to say, I feel a lot better, a lot more grounded and a lot happier. So I just kind of want to take everybody through my journey of taking this book on the road, of talking to all the different people on the road who are going to interview me in different cities. Jake Tapper's in D.C. I have Connie Britton in Austin and Dallas.

And I have Natasha Lyonne in New York. I have all sorts of fun people. And I also have my psychiatrist, Dan Siegel, who will be coming on to talk with me about me, my problems, and potentially you and yours, and how we can all kind of get better at being people. And my BFF, Mary McCormick, who you may recognize her from The West Wing or from In Plain Sight, a show she was on for many years, and most recently on The Kids Are Alright on ABC. She lives 10 minutes away from me and has had to deal with my behavior for the longest amount of time. out of all of my friends. So I will be starting the podcast with her. She's my best friend,

and she knows all the really embarrassing stuff that didn't make the book. Thank you for joining us today. It sounds so, I feel like, a little bit Oprah crossed with something else. Crossed with Gail. With Gail. And then here we are.

Yep. And we're sitting here with Brandon, who is my, Brandon, how would you describe your position with me? As a woman of the night? Yeah, I tell people we're platonic life partners. So we're basically, yes, you're my assistant and my decision maker.

And I love that you've decided to do your first podcast with your assistant. Well, he knows the most about me. I love it. I just love it because you admit that you don't do much without the help from an assistant. But this is sort of a new level. Yeah, it was a real shock to me. I found out about it this morning. I mean, I love it.

Yes. I actually think it's going to be great because you're funny and smart and you do know Chelsea sort of as well as anyone. But I also think it's an incredible completion in your journey of just admitting that you don't want to do anything without the help from many assistants. Right. So it's basically like it's a 360 because I started out wanting to become more self-sufficient. And in that like year of therapy and self-exploration, I realized that it's just better for me to have an assistant. It's overrated, all that independence. Yes.

It's best that Brandon is close to my side. I would like him near me. Yes. So I decided that, you know, independence is great if you've, you know, but why push it? Why push something when I'm not good at it? And I have so many other strengths that I want to focus on, right? I think that's really smart. So, Brandon, let me take you back because I know you have, how long have you been assisting me?

About three years, almost three years. Okay. So that's not even that long. But before that, he worked on Chelsea Lately. Were you an intern on Chelsea Lately? I like when you ask him, was he? Well, I mean, I'm just confirming the story that I've heard. So I don't know if you know how I met Mary originally.

On the show, no? Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I interview on the show, and then we went to some women's event the next night. And we liked each other on the show because she was bad-mouthing her children and talking about how annoying they were. And I was like, I can respect that. And then we went to that, I forget what kind of event it was, but it was for women, about women and how to be stronger. And it was way before I had the luxury, I don't know how to frame it. It was a time where I didn't take events like that as seriously as I should have.

I kind of was like, oh, God, women, talking about being powerful women. It's like, just go be a powerful woman. Why do you have to talk about it all the time? That was about 10 years ago. So then she asked me if I smoked, and I said, sure. And she goes, oh, let's go out and smoke a cigarette. And I was like, okay, great. We walked outside.

I handed her a cigarette. She goes, oh, no, I quit. I can't do it, but please just blow the smoke into my face. No, I said blow it into my tits. Because then it goes longer. I get more of it. You're describing your tits as long right now? No, I'm saying I get the smoke experience for a longer period of time.

Meaning if you aim at my face, I always say aim at my boobs. But that is how we became friends. I wanted to inhale your secondhand smoke. Cigarette, right. I think I made a comment about drinking and you were like, cheers to that. And we were both on the same page with having a good time and not taking Hollywood too seriously. So this was a relatively quick relationship. Yeah, I think we made a dinner plan that week.

Anyway, so the relationship started from there. And I would like to introduce, in order to get a full landscape of our relationship, because our lives are very different. You're a mother of three. You're married. You know, you take your responsibilities seriously. Well, yes. Right. And Irish Catholic, you have a lot of, like, Catholic guilt.

You want to do, you like to show up and work hard and hustle and be a good person. Yeah, those. Thank you. I mean, I think that's a compliment. I'm not sure. That didn't sound like one. Yes, those are true. That's true for the most part. I don't always do that, but that's my aim. Brandon, would you agree with, have you noticed these things about Mary in your small? Yes, I've observed the same things. Okay, great. Confirmed. I would say that these are all the things that I would think of when I think of you. Great. That's nice.

I sound pretty together. Yes. So I'm not together. I don't have a lot of response. I have responsibilities, but they're like manmade or, you know, it's debatable what kind of responsibilities I have. But I don't have children and I like to get up and, you know, fly away and go on trips and impromptu vacations and stuff. So I have a different lifestyle than you have. I think that's true. But I do think I mean, I think some people have kids and they they don't have a lot of responsibility. So I don't think that just the having kids makes it meaning I think you actually do have a lot of responsibilities. and you sort of do show up a lot to things. I mean, you say you're going to be there, you're there.

I mean, you get more done in one day than I do. Well, I don't know if that's true, but I like to show up. When I say I'm going to show up, we're both like that. We don't like to blow things off. We're not flaky. Neither one of us are like that. No. And in this town, that's good because you're –

although we should be more flaky, I would argue. If I just want to like, you know, I think you know what I'm talking about. I think I do. And I think I have to learn a stronger lesson about not saying yes to people that are not necessary to hang out with. I do that more – well, I would argue that you do it too, though. I think I suffer from that more. Yeah, it's people-pleasing?

Yes, I suffer from that. My friend Shauna calls it the Mary McCormick disease because she thinks I won't – like I suffer from it and will never get over it. This is what I call the Mary McCormick. If I ever see it again, I will call it that, but I haven't because almost nobody in the world does it. She was at a party, at a cocktail party, sitting on a stool, kind of like a bar stool, talking to two men. confidently and for a long time like very confidently legs like you know in jeans but open like splayed like a guy like you do on a stool like a guy does on a stool that's right right well we're guys basically i mean i would say i'm more masculine than feminine

excluding these two juggernauts um yes and do you want to finish the story i you know i mean i don't know that there's that much relevance to this story i don't know why well i just call it a mary mccormick and i want people to know what i'm saying because i made a fool of myself so i looked down after a long time of chatting i looked down and i saw my vagina i mean my button on my jeans was still done but the actual zipper was down so there was just a triangle of vagina vagina yeah pubic hair and also just vagina fat like like a little you know the flesh on the vagina that can be a bit what i called the pin cushion you know what i mean so and and it was made more like pin cushion s because

the jeans was forcing it you know to yes like it was almost to poof out a bit yes like you would do something if you wanted something to be poofy i don't wear so your vagina was peacocking i don't wear a lot of underwear that's correct yeah yeah she doesn't wear a lot of underwear she doesn't wear underwear i wore underwear yesterday oh why i don't know i think you get used to having a thong up your ass yeah if you do it long enough right that's like people who spin and they're like, oh, eventually you can't feel the pain in your vagina. Guess what? I don't want to lose that pain. My other favorite Mary McCormick story is when she was driving to Pasadena and she carries a thermos with her long before it was cool or... Was it cool? I didn't know they got cool. I like

a coffee thermos. Yeah. And you were driving and you texted me a picture. Did I? It wasn't a picture of what happened. But can you take us through that story? I'm just doing this exposition because I want people to know the glue that keeps us together. Is this the glue? Perhaps. Oh, wow. I didn't know it was that. I'm happy to share it. I think you think this is my most humiliating story. I don't think of it that way. I think of it as completely resourceful. I'm proud of myself for how I handled it. I mean, it's not ideal. I wouldn't want it to happen again. I was driving and I was in traffic but really bad LA traffic where I couldn't go

left and I couldn't go right there was nowhere to turn I mean cars in front of me and backwards and all of a sudden I had to go to the bathroom and not number one I had to shit a shouldoobie is what I call it yeah but it was like my stomach for it to happen that quickly I was like

oh this could be anything I mean I don't know what nature of shouldoobie was going to come out because I just knew that something was about to happen either in my clothes or I guess on the side of the road. I mean, I was in a full panic. I didn't know what to do.

I couldn't go anywhere. My hope for you would be the side of the road. Well, you'd get arrested for that. I mean, you can't just get out of your car and squat. That's my hope for you. I would like to see that image. Well, I think we already gave the story away by your lean-in. But luckily, I had my thermos.

And I could see that if my car could sort of inch up even just two more feet, there's an alleyway I could get down. I couldn't turn down a real, there's no real streets, but I could get down this alleyway. And so I managed to do that. Like I managed to sort of ride the curb a little and get down this alleyway. And then I pulled over and I thought, what am I, I have to shit. But if I get out and do it in the alleyway, there's windows, like businesses looking down onto the alleyway.

I'm going to get in trouble. I'm going to get arrested or caught or, and I don't know how long it's going to take. I mean, I might be, I might be squatting. I don't know. And so I emptied my thermos. out of the car the coffee the coffee out of the car

and I I took the I luckily I have shopping bags in my car paper you know grocery bags

because you're a mom well yeah and because you should too but anyway and then well Brandon does I'm sure

yeah I do right so I put garbage bags on my seat and then I took the thermos I'm not doing a turning motion with my hand

because luckily it's a very thin Japanese thermos and so the top is maybe like this maybe

an inch or inch and a half two inches probably wide and I put it up to my butt but like tight a tight fit inside your butt not quite in but definitely in adjacent like really close to in so that there could be no accident and then I pooped into my thermos wow and then I screwed the top back on I have wipes in my car as well because I'm a mom I always have wipes and so really the whole thing was as I mean it was as if it never happened I this sounds like a very easy transaction I mean I was the only hard part was getting in the position to get the thermos is about you know it's tall and thin so getting up enough in my car to get the thermos under my bum but I could do I did it obviously and then there was a dumpster threw the whole thing away thermos

bags wipes see I was if it never happened felt great yeah I mean it's almost like it's never happened but i would feel like it would be hard to place that into the area like i wouldn't feel confident like this thermos right here the yeti with a big opening then i would have confidence that i would think oh i'm gonna aim in the wrong there was no aim i got it i got it was no aim okay i'm not aiming but that's tricky because you didn't know what sort of situation was going to come out of there i had a sense that there was not a full big solid action just based on my how fast your bodily reaction yes okay i sensed that this might have a liquid quality to it i feel proud of my resourcefulness and that my car has everything my car has everything you need to

survive yeah it does that's a mom's car yeah brandon you should have that in your car for me i know not just my bag i need it in my vehicle yeah i don't need snack bags i need like you know things that can save my life i think the question is is what do you do with the thermos you know of course you throw it away i know but i bet you there are some people that did love that thermos it's a japanese thermos it's a great one but i threw it away i have more it's a weird start to this no it's not i mean i just wonder why you find it and then i think didn't i get a text from you this year saying you also pooped in your thermos no i didn't poop i peed in my thermos i was visiting my uncle and i pulled over and i had to pee so badly and i just i had to pull over

on a very busy street actually and empty the thermos and then get into my car put it but the vagina you know like that i know how to do also was it this because you don't that's not a real thermos that's enormous this is a yeti this is for yeah this is not hard to do it's almost like a toilet i mean that's not really a challenge i don't know if i could get a smaller thing around my vagina either i'm not sure peeing would be harder because the peeing gets a little but harder than the butthole well this i aligned it quite it was a snug alignment yeah we got that loud and clear they're all three times she's taking a sip out of it now anyway uh mary and my friendship has lasted a how long have we been friends since rosie was a little girl yeah like probably six months

after rosie was born yeah which is probably one of my longest lasting relationships actually longer so yeah she's 11 so so and brandon um you haven't been here the whole relationship time but mary has and so you've seen me go through a lot of different phases as i've seen you go through well less probably i haven't seen you go through many phases i would say different work experiences but i mean like um you know emotional or therapy phases you have though i started going to therapy well yeah i mean yeah you went yeah absolutely and started meditating and right you know yeah you were the one who you started doing tm and then you said it really helped you i love it And I, yeah, and I, do you still do it every day?

I do. Although my, sometimes my second meditation is like right before bed. And when you did that, like, I remember we would be in the Bahamas and you guys were meditating and you'd go over on a hammock and come back and say, oh my gosh, I fell asleep meditating. And I'm like, what the fuck is that? Like, how could you get so relaxed in the middle of the day? I had no understanding of it.

I knew that people liked it. Brandon, do you meditate? No, I try. I can't get into it. I can't stay relaxed long enough. Right. Have you tried smoking pot and meditating? It kind of defeats the purpose, but it's a good gateway drug to get you there.

Yeah, and I did it for about 10 minutes that time, and then I forgot what I was doing. So I don't know if it really worked out. I think forgetting what you're doing is great, but I don't know. I was just suddenly on the floor, and I'm like, what am I doing down here? I couldn't remember why I had braced myself. So when I decided that, oh, I didn't take your meditation like I didn't want to meditate myself. Like I never had that desire. No, you had a little disdain.

yeah well yeah a little yeah a little disdain sure definitely like i mean you were happy i was happy but i don't think you really like i didn't yeah i i didn't think i could i thought it was good for a lot of people but i wouldn't get anything out of it but it's also you get this very judgmental um feeling at least for me about people who went to therapy because i in this town it's a lot of i coupled that with colonics and cleanses and kale and you know me too what i realized is you can go to therapy and still take a run right right like it was no shame and just saying i need some help yeah so now i'm meditating every morning you're meditating and brandon you're just masturbating before you go to bed he's getting high and finding himself on the floor apparently but

tonight i'm gonna go home and try meditating well yeah you know i mean don't feel peer pressure i mean this is one of the this is a conversation a that i never thought i would be sitting around having. I copy that. Yeah. Right. I mean, talking about meditating and talking about self-help. No, we've come a long way. We have. I mean, we are almost in our 50s. You already are 50. I don't need to. I'm 44, just for the record. I just want everyone to know what the deal is here, because sometimes Mary gets confused and groups us together. It's true. But then it's always comforting when people come up and say, she looks older. Yeah. I mean, people will always say that about me. And I think it's because I'm so mature. Getting back into the friendship, kind of where

it started, did you know right away that it wasn't going to be just a Hollywood friendship that was going to last, you know, a few like dinner dates and then taper off? No, because you don't know that, you know? No, but I mean, you do. Yeah, no. I mean, because in this town, you meet people all the time. And like sometimes, you know, a first impression is a great impression and then it's the wrong impression.

And sometimes people are a slower burn. I mean, we were instant friends, but we were just like, you know, very similar. It could have gone either way. That's true. But this friendship seems different than friendships that you have with anyone else, like you two together. And why do you think that is? Like, what is it that Mary does for you that her relationship has endured when others haven't? What's your opinion of our relationship?

Before I answer questions, you've seen us like you've seen the dynamic of our relationship. And we've been friends for like 11 plus years and change. I think Mary is kind of the way you describe what you want in a man that I think that she. Hey now, I love that. I do like I marry is funny has like an authority to her and I think she puts you in your place when you need it I think like she tells you the truth even if it's not going to benefit her like she's that honest friend that you have that you can go to and know you're going to get a real answer so if she thinks you know what you're doing is garbage but everyone else is telling

you it's great you know you can rely on that yeah I would say most of the time you tell me the truth I think you try to spare my feelings sometimes though like I probably wouldn't know the best way to go about getting the truth, asking in a way that I think that will indicate that I don't care about the answer maybe. I think it depends on the issue. I mean, I think there have been times where big things have happened where I say that was unacceptable. Unacceptable. Like when I made our friend cry at dinner one night, we were at a restaurant in LA and we went out to dinner. There was four of us there. Yeah. I mean, it was just completely unnecessary. Yeah. I was really pissed at my friend and I just kind of went off on her and she just sat there crying. And then

I left. In a restaurant, though, where we knew tons of people. I was like, you could have just done that in a healthier way tomorrow. You know, so I mean, I think like, look, I do think we both sort of honor each other with the truth. I mean, there's been times where I've hurt your feelings and she says it, which I value. And, you know, I have very few friends who do that. I mean, I have a handful of friends who say, hey, you know, when you did that thing, it sort of sucks. It sort of actually hurts my feelings. And I value it, even though it's hard to hear in the moment i do value it because it means at least your friendship is worth that you know that they're not lying to you and building a presentment and so i think we do that pretty well i mean i think

we've gotten pretty good at that over the years well okay so looking back at that instance in the restaurant would you like pre-therapy and post-therapy that was pre-therapy in fact i would say that was probably one of the that time period was a pretty angry time period for you fair um i'm trying to think what period of time in my life it was but I'm sure you're right I think it was right before you decided to leave e yeah and I was you know done before it was over yes and when you look back on that instance do you think that there are things that you like now the tools that you've learned in therapy that you would have been able to apply or would you still yeah I wouldn't do that now no no I'm not emotional now like in that way I think one of the things with

therapy is you learn all these lessons they give you all the tools but then to actually apply them is a lot harder than you go out and get into a fucking screaming match with a parking lot attendant after you've been meditating for 30 minutes i mean well you're not gonna be perfect you know i mean it's not i don't think meditation or any of that store therapy makes you healed it just makes you able to at least acknowledge what's going on now you're a big believer in therapy and when she wanted to get into it did you like what no i'm what'd you think i was thrilled but you sort of snuck into it like she even she was sort of like one of those people who gets sober but doesn't say i'm sober now they just are like i'm not drinking this month and then it's two months

and then it's six months and i mean i think you sort of approached your therapy the same way like because she said that she liked the way dan explained things and dan siegel who's your what would we call him your therapist my psychiatrist psychiatrist he is very scientific with the way he delivers information but then months earlier you'd gone to a hypnotist to quit smoking so that's like a huge juxtaposition between i want scientific somebody really did the research for this interview. No, I don't think that is. I think that's scientific.

I mean, hypnotherapy works. Do you? I think it seems very L.A., like very wacky. I think there's a ton of people in L.A. who probably are not actual hypnotherapists who, you know, it won't work. But that is in. I mean, lots of people change their behavior

based on hypnotherapy. No, I'll say Kerry Gaynor, who was your hypnotist, we sent other family members there to quit smoking, and they all stick with it. So whatever he's doing works. But to me, it seems like wacky that, like, I'm going to go to a hypnotist for this, but go to a very scientific therapist.

It's not like getting your stars read. No, exactly. She didn't go like find out what her aura palette is. No, we have that at home already. What is my aura palette? Because I don't want to go through the rest of the day without knowing. No, we do. She got it done on the Netflix show by Megan Fox.

They did something with her aura. Do you remember? I'll have to dig that out of the garage. Please, let's rewatch that episode together when we get home today. All right, great. Brandon, would you say in your estimation, since this year I just tried to put aside for myself and self-awareness and betterment,

do you think that I've become better or less dependent on you? Definitely. I think that you have become more independent, less dependent on me in a lot of ways. But for me, it was always like I would tell you, and I think sometimes I would tell you in times where you were already frustrated,

so it was hard to hear, but there's a difference in wanting to do something and being able to do something. And for me, like when I'm gone, when I'm no longer your assistant, I want you to be able to do them. You should know how to do things No, you just got to line up another person.

Just let's be reasonable. I know. Honestly, like you think after I'm done with, well, that's not a good way. There are things that you can do now. We're doing a podcast with you. I thought you said we were getting married. This is my two weeks notice. I thought you said you wanted to be married.

We are. We're going to be like Craig and Ellen. So what are you talking about when you move on? I thought you wanted to be my assistant forever. When we get married and we find an assistant to support both of us. But that's what I think the difference is. And I think that you've been more willing to try and do things yourself, which is a lot of people won't do. So I think that's, you know, really positive.

OK, we're going to take a quick break and we'll be right back. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit.

Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable.

I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts see you between the pages so do you think post chelsea you would be worried less like if that were true if what she said is yeah i'm worried less now period i mean no post therapy yeah for sure because there's a gentler

reaction to everything you know she's she's what do you see it in the most do you think with the way she responds now i just think i see it even in in um i mean she's always been inquisitive like meeting people and stuff but she also has a sometimes the if someone says something stupid or is just a little bit boring she used to just be like i could see her glaze over and then i'd be like we should go because it's gonna get soon she'll just say to their face like are you serious with that story like she would really and then we'd have like an awkward exit where i'm going hey it's okay like behind her she's already in the car going mary you know in the car yelling at me because i'm inside doing the apology tour so that i'm less on the apology that's what we

should call my book tour the apology tour great idea i'm sorry everyone that's what this whole podcast should be called the apology it should be called with the orange because of the orange theme of the book aren't you glad i went to therapy that would have been good that would be good not bad but i am really glad she went to therapy because i did do a lot of um you know in fairness to her she didn't ask me to do it and maybe that's my own codependent craziness wanting to be like disease i don't know but i did often do like a cleanup before i would then get in the car do you do you think that there's a way that you have responded best to therapy that you're like okay now i can deal with annoying people more or yeah i mean that's been she's

much more patient you're kinder i mean i have to say i think it comes from a an increased empathy level i'm sure which you can call it whatever you want but it's a kinder person it's a kind it's a more patient person right so if someone is bombing on a story or a joke or not that you were mean you just have it you had a cutoff switch like you just would get annoyed real quick and then and then not be able to hide it right and now she has a much more you laugh at jokes that are like you're just it's a sweeter well i am stoned a lot yes and that helps yeah i mean i actually think that whatever that chemistry is probably should be working for a ton of people you know without you don't use cannabis right no because i don't i lose my mind like it's not fun for me it's just

scary but i'm not into like she can't smoke pot no she can't i really think i'm dying i think like it's not i think that's just not the right mix then like i think there's something you should be she's fine the way she is she doesn't need it i needed it to cut my reaction time you know what me or add reaction time i do think it adds i mean i do think it's a love drug it's a nice it's you know people on pot aren't beating each other up they're kinder to each other so i think in that respect i'm all for it okay so oh i have an idea let's talk about where we started when when i started writing this book where you and i where we started after the election to where we are now okay let's talk about that and brandon feel free to chime in do you want to start

Well, I mean, we could start by just saying that we had different expectations of the election. Yeah. Okay. I was sure Trump was going to win. And I was sure that he was not. Right. And you watched at my house with all my girls and we had champagne on because I was hoping I was wrong. Champagne and tears.

We had, well, before the tears, we were all, it was a long night and we had a lot of women. I think my sister had flown in. Yeah, Bridget was there. And maybe my mom, no, not my mom. But anyway, there was a bunch of women and three little girls who had campaigned for her and stuff. So it was a pretty painful night, I mean for everybody, but in our house particularly painful because then I had to try to explain to them that we'd just elected a known sexual assaulter and how to make sense of that.

You know, it was awful that night, wasn't it? Yeah, it was really bleak. It was dark. And then for days after, I think there was a real shock and a lot of crying. And then I think something happened with you, which was really great. I'm going to take a hit off my vape pen. that's great. But I do think what was great about that time is that you, I mean, instead of just, at first we had like a little morning period. And then I think you just saw it as a chance to be part of the solution and not comment on it from the sidelines. Like your show had been for years

that it's commentary, right? It's like your point of view about things that are happening. And for the first time, I thought, I think you sort of were like, well, maybe I can be part of the thing that's actually happening, the solution. And when you started going to colleges, I think, and talking to young people and yeah that was I think that was really meaningful for you well college it was meaningful for me I think also because I had to figure out a way to talk to conservatives without screaming which was my only way to communicate for so long so I had to figure out how to have discourse that was effective instead of just being at a 10 and outraged because I realized you're not getting anybody to listen to you in that way that's why I think it linked

nicely with the therapy you know the timing was appropriate yes because that was my initial thing to go into therapy was how do i learn to not be so you know not to be so loud about my anger and my outrage yeah and i and i think that part of that was trump and also at the time i remember before therapy you had expressed to me like am i just hated am i you know like you had had arguments with more than one a few people right and you had had sort of like or not arguments but you were just like oh I felt that person do this or yeah you were really concerned about my image yeah I remember we had that one conversation in my driveway sitting in a car and I had said there is something about the fact that none of the people I knew who you were your friends when we met that

you don't speak to any of them and that's something to look at yeah you know I mean I was still there and others as well but there was a bunch of people who had right who were just gone okay um how do you think i'll die mary i don't think you'll ever die okay you want to be kept alive you want to be frozen i don't want to yeah so i'm one of those people that so brandon write this down for both of us because this is important information for you to know she wants to be kept alive no matter what you want to be no matter oh wait are you saying when they tell you i'm brain dead i don't want you to unplug okay she wouldn't want to live like this yes she would okay you know when people say that

I want to live like that so let's say after the fact say that the plug has been pulled we better not get pulled do you want your brain kept everything yes

I want everything kept but don't even pull the plug she'd rather be a vegetable for what she's doing I'd rather have bed sores for the rest of my life like flip me sponge me down

I don't care and for what reason are you just like if the chance ever is yeah science is moving so fast don't unplug me never unplug me Michael can get remarried

you all can get you can get a new best friend you can forget about me don't visit I don't care but don't unplug me okay And then she's hoping that stem cell research or whatever will come around in time to resurrect her body.

And when that happens, she's ready to rumble. And you're the exact opposite. I want to be put down if I get diagnosed with any fatal disease. You'd like to be put down now. Yeah, I'm tired, and I would be totally fine if I died tomorrow. So it would be a joyous, wonderful experience. I would be excited to get on to the next phase. I am excited about the sleep and death, that seems.

What would you like us to do with your body, Brandon? Do you have any specific instructions? Stuff me and just put me in a chair at your house. Oh, you just want to sit there and be... Yeah, I just want to be with you indefinitely. Okay, uh-huh. That sounds very, very gay. Mary, what's the worst thing that you've seen me do?

I'm trying to think of the worst thing I've seen you do. I'm thinking that thermos shitting story is pretty much the worst, but... I think I'm so proud of that. You think of that as a liberation. No, I think of it as... Resourcefulness. Yeah, as like, God damn it. Like, I can get out of any screen.

Yeah, maybe I'm associating too much shame with taking a shit in your car, and I think... I'm not proud of that part, but, I mean, I would rather that not happen. It was uncomfortable, but it was, yeah, I nailed it. Like you could have shit your pants. I nailed it. Right. I mean, I could have gone to a meeting afterwards. I was so, it went so well.

So I don't find that, I don't know, the worst thing you've ever done? I would say my most humiliating experience. I have a humiliating experience that she was at. Okay, so that's different than worse, but talk to me about that. We were at that Kevin Huvane's CAA party, and I was in a blackout. But it was because you were on a crazy diet. Well, I've been in plenty of blackouts that I don't have a diet to blame. But, yes, I was on that.

Because I haven't seen you drunk like that. Like I've never – you always walk out of parties. Like even if you yell at people on the way out and I'm behind you apologizing, you do walk out. This was like I've never seen anything like it. And it was because you were on that HCG diet. So just on the really, really low calories, almost no eating, plus a shot. Yeah, I was doing that shot into my thigh like a pregnancy HCG. Hormone, whatever.

anyway that combined with it was only we were only there like an hour and you were so you couldn't see straight you didn't know where you were you were we carried you out well no I think Jeremy Renner and Chris Evans and Sandy Bullock and I carried you came and got you guys and they're like Chelsea's outside I guess I was leaning against it was really bad I don't remember I remember waking up at five o'clock in the morning in my bunk beds and calling I was like not even in my big girl room and I called Mary I'm like

what the fuck and you're like oh sweetie that was bad it was you're like do you remember anything in public

so public like bright lights every agent every person in the industry is the CAA Oscar party I think yeah but you know what there is a feeling about

like that having it happen there versus like a family affair would I prefer because everyone in Hollywood like not everybody but there's enough people

that make asses out of themselves that there's a new story every week like I would be more humiliated if that happened at like you know my dad's funeral because then that would mean i'm like off the rails or something like for some reason the context of it it's not good so anyway let's how long goes out it's tuesday no i would say three was it about three years four years ago

it was longer than that really yeah that was like five years ago probably she once caught me stealing candy at one of her daughter's swim meets but that wasn't bad I was feeling it for them. That was for them. Yeah. That was sweet. That's not bad. No.

I don't know. I'm trying to think of like an actual event. Do you have a memory that comes to mind when you're asking her? Like do you have something where you're like, oh, this is the worst thing I've done or done to somebody? That part is what I just thought of. I mean, in terms of character, like doing something bad, I don't know. Like my bad is impulse. Like, when I think about something, I wouldn't, you know what I mean?

So, like, anything I've done has always been, like, I don't know. When you think of yourself doing something bad, do you think of it in terms of, like, to yourself or, like, something that you've done that didn't affect anyone? That's bad to someone else. Like, bad behavior, not, like, mean-spirited behavior. Would you have known that before? Wear your hands, Brandon. Keep them where I can see them, please. Would you have been able to recall that before therapy or only now that you're trying to work on the empathy part?

Not just, like, oh, I feel bad for this person, but, like, really how that person must have felt. yeah remember how you said that thing to that girl at that party she had on a pink dress no and you said something like oh that's like um i like your dress and i was like right away i get nervous because i knew you don't like it so right away my blood runs cold like i know the rest is coming and she was like oh thanks and she knew you she knew each other when you were young or whatever and then she you said something like yeah it's like summer horror or something and then just walked away and i know her so i was left like and she went god that's so mean huh And I was like, she's just trying to be funny.

It's just her being funny. You know, she just likes to make a joke and walk away. And she just was like, oh, that's so mean. That's mean. You don't do that. Is it though? I mean, I. Yes.

No, it is. You know what's up though? No, it is mean. No, it is. But like I laugh at it. People listening to this are going to laugh at that because it's like we know that brand of humor associated with her. Whereas like when we really think about it and know what type of person she is like,

that's not nice. Well, to the person it's not. Right. Meaning if she says it to me, listen, I'm not – I mean, I love all that about her too. It's like that's the fun stuff. Right. Right. I mean, her point of view, her angry point of view, that's why we sign up for her.

Every day I come into work just hoping for it. But I think you rarely do it to – there's been some – you wouldn't do that now ever. No, I would only – Not to the person's face. And if I did, it would be somebody who knew me that I was friends with. I wouldn't do it. Like I don't any longer expect people to understand my personality. Well, you're both very –

Or that everything's a joke. Like, that's not their problem. That's my problem. Okay. But you're both very funny and you kind of have the same sense of humor. Yeah. We have a mean sense of humor. We try not to be.

Do you try to keep each other, like, checked in that, though? Because, Mary, you are kind of vocal or, like, you have looks for each other that you're like, no. Yeah, but I mean, I think I have a mean sense of humor, but I'm not mean to people. Right. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Because there is a line, I think, that. Now I just keep, you know, I try and keep more thoughts to myself.

do you both think that's better than that people have been more thoughtful that way because like i i've talked to people and i think it's too they've gone too far one way and now nothing's funny anymore you can't joke about anything like i think i was talking to chelsea about family guys not doing any gay jokes anymore which i think are some of the funniest ones on the show it's been around for i think like 17 seasons and they're just taking them out completely i don't know that's a hard i think i think that like it's good for us to challenge ourselves to get humor in different ways it's interesting to hear you say that though as a gay man because i always whenever i hear white men the only ones really complaining about things not being funny

anymore are white guys right in my experience so it's interesting to hear you say that because while you're a white guy you're a gay white guy but mostly i only hear straight white guys going like yeah it's just nothing's funny anymore it's like yeah you know what you'll figure it out we're still laughing right like we're all still laughing you know people of color are still finding things funny it's so i don't know but that's why that's interesting to hear your point of view on that But I think I'm I think there's still a lot to laugh at without, you know, poking fun at someone. Yeah. Like, do you think a fine line? I think it's all and it's all kind of interrelated with, you know, I think, for instance, Brennan, I'm curious to see.

Are you were you a surprise like the Me Too movement and all of the people that I know Mary probably wasn't as surprised as I was about how rampant it was. Because Mary's been like singing that song for a while that it's a man's world and like women are not respected. And I'm always like living in this like butterfly rarefied existence where just everything was going great for me. So I assumed that not to be the case because I was looking at my own experience rather than other people's. But as a gay man, were you as surprised to hear how rampant this kind of abuse of power and sexual abuse was? Not at all. Not at all. No, but to me, like I'm from the Midwest.

You see it from the outside. It's all very sparkly and exciting. and I think a lot of those stories are these people coming here again with that kind of allure of like oh my god this is what the opportunities are going to be if I do this thing but I still think that there's a sense for anyone and I'm sure people will not like this but it's like if you're going to a hotel room for a meeting like but we're thoughtful about this with you like you don't take meetings in your hotel room whereas I always thought like you would know right or wrong like you would know like don't take this meeting in the hotel room but some people really I think

just come into it thinking like this person is looking out for me they have my best interests at heart like why should this be weird i'm not going to make it weird and now you have all these women so i think that's what was more surprising was that the context that we're finding out these things happened or that like i really did not expect this and i think other people have said like you kind of know what you're going to get if you do those things but i think i knew that there were things going on but maybe not in the way they were happening did you ever get sexually assaulted by somebody at work mary um or did you feel sexually uncomfortable yes oh yeah and i've also yes I've been me too'd really yeah for sure I had a guy yes yeah and you would also argue that

I have too and just don't recall it right yeah or laughed it off or you know whatever but I haven't this interesting relationship to this too because on the one hand I feel like most women my age spent decades you know trying to keep their job and not fuck the guy right like that's how we or laugh at enough jokes that he feels flattered but not just that one that you don't want to laugh at too many because then he's going to want to see you naked right so it's that fine line we I mean women my age spent and I think young women are not suffering from that now which is fantastic I have three daughters so I want all this change I do have a little bit of like an irrational part of my brain sometimes that goes like god they're complaining about that like which is so messed up

because I want all the complaining is good and all this change is oh my god long overdue and for the best but I do have this weird it's like it's like people who've been through it women my age must be like oh fuck we were all we did that like we managed I found a way out of that room or that situation or that but I shouldn't have to find a way out of that hotel room I shouldn't have to find a way to try to keep my job and not fuck that guy or you know I shouldn't have to not get the job because I didn't fuck that guy right so and I hope from and I think through all of this and And even though there's painful moments and sometimes we're going to overcorrect and go too far and, you know, it feels like we're losing the ability to make jokes or whatever. I think through all of this, I'll have three daughters who don't who can actually have a meeting in a hotel room.

Right. They should be able to have a meeting in a hotel room, I would argue. And not worry. And not fucking worry. Men should fucking be able to have a hotel room meeting as well and not assault and not just take everything all the time. yeah it sounds like there's going to be a whole new generation of men who really are fucking walking on eggshells yeah well for right now they're really pissed off i mean i think men are really confused i hear it all the time white men are going oh god you can't say anything

anymore yes you can there's a lot you can say you just can't it's it feels like the end of a party for them because it is the end of a party for them that's why it feels sad they're sad they're going to mourn this this this world they lived in because it was a world where they got to eat whatever they want take whatever they want fuck whatever they want they wear sandals right i mean they show their feet and they sit on subway cars with their legs spread open take up three seats you fat fuck that party's done women have had it it's over and so yeah i understand why they're pissed well it's like you say in your book you can either get on board or you're gonna miss the train like right and so they're gonna be angry and it doesn't matter young women don't care

i did this movie recently with a bunch of young women and i was the only woman my age And we were driving in a van from base camp to set. And the transpo guy, the guy driving the van, we were in sort of stop-and-go traffic. But the transpo driver, and I've never seen this, they're usually really, really professional, but he was showing pictures on his phone to the guy in the passenger seat. And I was in the back row of the van, like, looking at it like, oh, God, oh, my God, what the fuck? Why is he doing that? And this young actress in front of me just, like, was in the middle of a conversation with another young actress.

And she literally just went like this, hey, pal, get off your phone. What are you doing? And then she just went back to talking to her friend. And I was like instantly through my body I felt relief that she'd said it and shame that she'd said it. Like I was like wanting to apologize to that guy because I felt like he'd be embarrassed because it was, you know, a big van full of people. And I thought this is so interesting. She felt not only did she not feel embarrassed, she felt completely happy speaking up for her safety and then went right back into her conversation. Like had I done the exact same thing, had I found the courage to do it, which is so stupid, I would have said this.

Hey, I'm so sorry. I was in an accident a few years ago. And so I'm a little bit crazy about like traffic and safety and if it's not too much trouble, do you mind putting away your phone? I'm so sorry. Yeah. But isn't that, that's how I would have done that. Isn't that what we're trying to get away from?

Like a woman feeling they need to apologize. No, that's exactly my point. My point is hats off to that girl in front of me. That's, that's generational. And so I hope my daughter never, I hope my daughters never feel that way about speaking up for their own safety or, and I hope they live in a world where they don't have to laugh at bad jokes just to make some guy feel, you know, yeah. like you want to fuck him if only you didn't have a boyfriend you know how many times i've said that

that party's over it is amazing what men think that they can do and get away with with because they have because they have gotten because they have because we have a guy in the white house who brags about sexual assault and is the leader of the free world so why shouldn't they think that i think like as a man is the type of men who come out in support of women like or or take responsibility for like oh yeah i've definitely done like gross dude things like it i think maybe ben athlete was one when he slapped that woman's ass at a party and came out and was like i'm so sorry for like the way i behaved but like i'm i'm growing like i'm working on it as a person and i think we're we criticize them still because it's like you should know better

but these men who have really come out and yeah i don't mind someone in process and that they're like you know what i made mistakes like i'm really not proud of that we can't change overnight i i think that's great i mean i have a friend who mansplained me so hardcore recently like i said something about one of the a politician or something and then he literally said it back to me didn't even really sometimes mansplainers will change a word or two to make it sound like it's their idea but he obviously just liked the idea and then repeated it back word for word

and I was like I just I have to say something I was like I can't you can't just repeat back the thing I just said to you without even dressing it up as like your idea like you just completely mansplain me in the most aggressive way I can't and I have to tell you as a friend that that's what you did

and he went I don't mansplain like and I went hmm and then he went I didn't mean to And I thought, all right, that we can work with. I mean, listen, I didn't even know that term before. I just knew I lived in a world where men always taught me things I already knew. But now we know that word and we can identify it. And it's going to be uncomfortable for a little while, right?

I think that's a growth moment. And that made me love that guy. Well, I think that there's a lot of, you have that, especially in entertainment from what I've seen, is that people don't know what they're doing can seem condescending or rude. Because I think some people are just trying to be friendly or give you the information And what this guy was doing was obvious. Or it's a habit that's been created over time and over time. And they don't know the difference because it's like a fish in water.

They don't know that they're doing it. But, like, this guy taking the couple of seconds to reflect on what he had done and being like, oh, I did actually do that. I didn't mean to. Yeah, it's a nice – it's like – It's those little, you know, growth. I mean, I knew him well, so I felt comfortable saying it. But, you know. But you don't have to worry about it.

Yeah, but I think it's so good that you said it. Yeah, and it's big for me because I'll tell you that van story. When I got off the van, that young woman just went into set and did her lines and was thinking about her work. And I got off the van and did 10 minutes with the driver like, hey, not a big deal. I think, you know, some people – anyway, I mean, literally undermined everything she did. I hated myself for it. That may be my most embarrassing. I'm proud of the pooping in the thermos.

This I'm not proud of. Would you do that if it were a woman driver? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So maybe it's not as sex-related. You're just worried about people's feelings. Yes, but it's generational. The issue is not about him, although maybe I was more sensitive because he was a man.

I think I was, meaning I watched a man be dressed down by a young woman. And for me, as a 50-year-old woman and how I was raised in the world I was raised in, I was like, oh, God, he's going to feel super emasculated. That's not safe. I don't like when men feel emasculated. Let me make this better. Instead of just, how about he doesn't fucking get on his phone? Yeah, when he's driving a group of people.

Right, right. I know that to be true in my consciousness. No, I know. It's interesting that you were able to pick up that you did that and reflect on it so quickly after the – I think about that van ride a lot. Oh, yeah. Because I also have three daughters. So I think like I want them to live in a world – I bump into furniture and apologize.

I mean women have a lot of – we have a hard time taking up space and demanding what's ours. But I see younger women not having as much trouble with that and it's a real positive change. okay well this sounds like a good time to take a break behind every night spent making the kids lunches there's a lot of suspense will they finally eat the veggies will the pesto survive the first bite will the lunchbox come home empty half full or come home at all and will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers get bell pure fiber internet with crave netflix and disney plus from 94 a month price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability bell

connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them There's stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island to deserve the same level of discourse.

I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite BookTok creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table.

It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much

you're in the right place listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts see you between the pages okay Brandon

I see you whipped up some questions here so we'll try and just entertain you with them oh you wrote these? no I don't know where these came from probably my bell

the cleaning lady probably fucking know what do you think my cause of death will be? This is for both of you. Old age. Yeah, agreed. If I didn't have assistants, managers, cleaning ladies, or any staff at all, how long do you think I would survive?

Not long. Not long. You can't do a podcast without an assistant. I mean, for fuck's sake. What is that stupid book you gave me recently? Essentialism. Yeah, fuck you. I was like literally, here it is.

Do you know what essentialism is? The gist of the book? Like, do less. Yeah, I'd love to do less, you fucking asshole. I need my bell you give me my bell Brandon Tanner

who's your house who's your house guy now you give me those guys and then I'll read Essentialism Willie so suck on that Essentialism

Essentialism is good yeah I would love to do that I would love to do less you're being close minded you can do less better you just know your audience and you give them a book just know that you do too much

you don't have to do everything you do you don't have to okay but for you to say that you're crazy I have three lives who depend on me

to do everything I do I have 15 people who depend on me, too. They're not my children, but they depend on me. Okay, let's move on. Yeah, let's. I mean, no one takes me seriously as a – Bernice, are you listening to this? She doesn't even know I'm her mother.

Okay, what is something you've seen me do that you would categorize as not normal? Brandon? I mean, I appreciate this about you, but, like, diagnosing other people and then giving them pills. Oh, yeah. No, antibiotics. Yeah, but I – Oh, okay, you love a Z-Pak, which you're not supposed to do. Be careful, everybody in here, because you will be on a Z-Pak before the day is out.

But I also give you medication that you need. When you go on a trip and you need Xanax, I supply that, or Sonata, or whatever else. I love to share. You're like a pharmacy. Yeah, I know what people need. What kind of guy would you want me to settle down with? I mean, Brandon thinks it's me. Basically.

So a male version of Mary. Someone who reads a lot, someone who skis really well, someone who I think most of all has to be really inquisitive. Like I think your ideal partner would be – don't say partner, but your ideal person would be someone that you could like travel all over the world and just get into trouble, like go on adventures with. Someone really inquisitive. I think that's right.

Brandon, wouldn't you second that emotion? Yeah. Non-industry. They have like a job separate of entertainment. Yeah. Skier. Skier. Skier.

Probably does not live in the same city as you. Yeah. I hope not. I hope that's not the end game. Well, he can visit L.A. No, I think ultimately you're going to be with someone. That makes sense. It would be hopefully someone who really just loves you for you, you know?

Right. That you don't have to change for. I think that's the key. No, I don't think so. I don't think I can change. I just already changed so much. Where would I go? I'd have to go back to the other person.

How many more versions of me can there be? No, this is it. I want to settle into this one because she's nicer and I do less apologizing. So the reason why I wanted to do this, Mary, thank you for accommodating my wishes. Happy to be here. This book is as funny as all your other books and then has all this other, it breaks your heart as well. I mean, it's really, I mean, I've talked to so many people who are like in tears reading

it and then feel sort of healed after, you know? I know. It's amazing that people would have that reaction. Because I think a lot of people have similar experiences. You know, we sort of think we bury something really sad or we bury our weakness and our sadness and our vulnerability and we turn it into anger right and that's and I think everyone can relate to that so there's something really cathartic for people when they read it but it is also really really funny so I think it's that you're calling it the sit down tour is one of my

favorite things and also luckily I read that book that um you so aptly described essentialism which explained to me to do less better which is a book about saying no to more things and doing fewer things and my lesson in this book and writing this book was that this is the one thing I mean I know I did a documentary and I was like campaigning, Brandon, whatever you were talking about. I'm sorry if we're boring you right now. I know. He's on Tinder.

Is that this is the first time I'm able to focus on a book tour, to go on a tour and to be present. That's my new thing is to be present with every engagement, with every person all day long and not be distracted by bullshit or, you know, and so I'm going to do that tour in that vein and like really try and enjoy every moment instead of being angry at my success. There you go.

Anyway, this has been an emotional morning, you guys. I want to thank you all for being here. It was fun. All two of you. Yeah, and now the world knows my secrets. And you're going to be interviewing me in Phoenix, Arizona. Yes, which is May 31st. Mary will be interviewing me in Phoenix,

and you can get tickets to that at ChelseaHandler.com or LiveNation.com. That's going to happen. And then we'll continue. And then, Mary, you'll just have to pop in whenever we need to do a podcast. I'll just poop in some more thermoses so I have more to talk about. Yes, please bring your thermos next time. Thank you. Life Will Be the Death of Me is a production of iHeartRadio.

For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the

iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I choose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility.

Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.