Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Naked in the Backyard with Caitlin Peluffo

Episode Date: October 1, 2026

Comic Caitlin Peluffo joins Chelsea to chat about getting ripped before the finale of Funny AF, the lore of a Prince Albert, and why she doesn’t need a house husband.  Then: A simple question about condoms goes awry.  A queer person considers the big city.  And a husband’s need to be naked is driving his wife crazy… even if the neighbors don’t seem to mind.  * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess podcast. The True Crime Comedy Podcasts, all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Each week I bring on an amazing guest.

Ooh, I scammed them. What? I can talk to you for an hour. You're a generational yapper like me. That's why I had to make yapping a job. And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube. Start listening to Scam Goddess

on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, this is Kylie Breakman. Angel Geratana. Jeremy Colhain. Patrick McDonald. And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists Podcast. The Improvised Character Comedy Podcast where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft.

Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween sometimes. Does the Pope dress up? He winks on Halloween. He gets right up next to the microphone. I hear you can almost. or the eyelashes hit each other. You never seen Italy so quiet

as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Lisa? Tell them about our new show. We have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi Youanu. We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart.

And I'm Lisa Di Giulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions, and at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all. Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste is my business. Listen on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Melissa Jeltson, host of the What Happened to Her Podcast. We're kicking off the season with the Sandra Birchmore story, a case the police rode off as a suicide in a snowstorm. Her family never bought it, and the man they suspected wore a badge.

You never know who that devil is because he's wearing in disguise. Sometimes it's a police uniform. And you can get access to all episodes 100% ad-free with an I-Heart True Crime Plus subscription exclusively on Apple Podcasts, available only to IHeart True Crime Plus subscribers. So don't wait. Head to Apple Podcasts. Search for IHeart True Crime Plus and subscribe today. Hey, everybody, it's me, Debbie Kumar Bell.

This season on my podcast who's with me, I speak with Bruce. Lee's daughter, Brandon Lee's sister, and my friend, Shannon Lee. Back to your initial point of stewarding my father's legacy and giving my energy to that. You're lending your life to stewarding somebody else's life. Listen to Who's With Me with Debbie Kumabelle on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Detective said he had stalked her before she died. Years later, they said he remained the person they continued to focus. on. This is Hunter Gilmore, host of Hunting for Answers, a True Crime podcast, shedding light on the silent epidemic of missing and murdered black women and girls, bringing attention to stories

that equally deserve to be told and to the questions that still remain. Listen to Hunting for Answers a true crime podcast from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Okay, hi, and mighty tour guys, is continuing. So please come and see me in Atlanta, Georgia, October 2nd. October 3rd is Baltimore, Maryland. October 4th is Saginaw, Michigan. All with Yomeneke Saunders opening up. Then I'm coming to Pittsburgh on October 9th.

Toronto is October 10th. October 16th is Boise. Spokane is the 17th. Then San Francisco, November 7th. And November 13th is Salt Lake. November 20th is Austin, then Houston, and then Irving. November 20th, November 21st, and November 22nd. I will be touring.

Texas. December 5th is Denver, December 6th, I am shooting my special in Vancouver, Canada. I have two shows that night. There are tickets available for the second show. Then I'm going to Palm Beach, Florida, December 16th by popular demand. Then Hollywood, Florida, December 17th. And then two shows in Tampa, Florida on December 18th. So I will see you guys on the road. Come and see the high and Mighty Tour. I'll give you some LSD. Hi, Catherine. Hi, Chelsea. You're in New York again. I'm in New York. I went to the opera and it was exactly what I hoped it would be. I dressed like I was going to the opera. I felt like I was in the opera. I was able to witness such talent. I mean, honestly, anyone who could sing,

like this woman could sing. I don't even know her name. I'd have to look at my playbill. but apparently she's the greatest soprano living. And it was really, I felt cultured. I got a little culture. We love a culture queen. And then we had a little intermission with a martini. It was just lovely. I mean, I'm glad I went to the opera.

I think I'll go again. I was Macbeth. And they had little translations in front of us. That's nice. Yeah, because I otherwise, it's like, I don't know what the fuck is going on. So I've been in New York doing press and I have shows this weekend. Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, lots of, oh, lots of action. Our guest today is a real pick me up.

She was a finalist on Funny A.F with Kevin Hart and yours truly. Her new special is called Peshudo Rose. It's now out on YouTube. Please welcome Caitlin Pallufo. Being very well received, Pesuto Rose. Yes, and thank you for doing your little shout out. By Caitlin Pallupo. Am I saying it right?

Palufo. Pulfo. But you can say whatever you want. I never say names right. Okay. Prasuto Rose by Caitlin Polufo, you guys. It's out now on YouTube. I thought Pursuto.

Well, actually, I always knew what Pesudo Rose was going to be a reference to. But since you are Italian, it was a slight mislead. But I met you on Funny A.F. Yes. With our little friend, Kevin. Our little best friend. Oh, yeah. Sweet gentleman.

And I really, really. Yeah, you were so. fucking great. We had such a good time. I have to say, and I don't know if I've said this before, Catherine, but who gives us shit? It was so unexpected to have so many talented comedians. Like, when Kevin asked me to do that show for the 15th time, I was like, I don't, like, what does this going to entail? Like, the last thing I want to do is sit in a comedy club in the daytime. Yes. And watch a bunch of comics. And it ended up being so much fun. And I know that he wanted me there just because he needed someone to drink with.

Yeah. I know you're sober, right? Not anymore. Oh, okay. Well, I mean, this is exciting. Well, yeah, I was sober in order to lose weight. Oh. It was never a hit rock bottom situation.

Oh, okay. Me trying to, I lost 50 pounds. Whoa. Two years ago. Yeah, yeah. With Ozempic? No, on my own. Oh, my God.

So old fashioned. I didn't have the health insurance, so I did it. I had to do it the old fashion way. Oh, my gosh. You must have been so pissed when Osemek came on the market and you were like, after I just fucking worked my ass off? And everybody's a cute. accusing me of using Osemic and I was like, I did it the hard way.

Oh my God, you lost 50 pounds. That's incredible. How did you do it? I did boxing, cycling, and then heavy weightlifting. Yeah, because you're strong and muscular. I like your body. Thank you. Thanks, yes. Yeah, I like being strong. I know. I like being strong. I prefer that to being because I used to do the, you know, we always try the,

maybe I'll just eat lettuce today or like I'll just do soup or whatever, you know, like a lot of sorbets. I've done that. I've been like, I'm just going to have all my fruit via sorrows. sorbet. But no, I like eating a lot and then also weightlifting. Like that seems to be the way my body responds the best. Yeah, I think that's the best advice for all females who want to drop weight. It's like white lifting. It's like the secret. And also you get, it's like there's so many benefits. Yeah. A, you get smaller and you don't get bigger. You only get bigger if you're eating fucking, you know, Philly cheese steaks after you work out. Like that's the only way to not get smaller when you're weightlifting.

Exactly. If you have three times the amount of protein that you're supposed to have, that's the only way you bulk up. And there's no fun in being skinny and weak. You want to be fit and strong. Like, I don't want to be thin and I can't lift anything and I'm not strong. No. And it's just for a practical day-to-day life, too. Like when I was like, I was never wayfish, but like I remember in high school I tried to be. Yeah, we did.

Yeah, we all did. Those were the days. We all had an eating disorder. I mean, it's so sad, isn't it what women have to go through? And I looked great. And I, but still you look back and I was just like, oh, that girl was so lost. But anyway, I met Kay then on Funny AF and she was so great and I got to see you and find out about you. But you've been a comic on the scene in New York for a long time and all my friends know you.

So I was just finding out about you because I just wasn't paying attention. Yeah, I started in New York. We did open mics at Otto Shrunken Head at 3 p.m. in the afternoon. It was a real bummer. Yeah, but great because that's where I met Usama and that's where we became friends. And Osama was the other guy. He was the other. You two were the big standouts.

And then who was the guy that won again? Ron Taylor. Ron, Ron. He's great. Yeah. Everyone was so good. It was really just refreshing. It really made me fall in love with stand-up in a way that I hadn't been.

Really? Yeah, because it's painful. I thought it was going to be painful. You know, I don't like watching people not do well at Blom. And there wasn't a lot of that. Yeah. And so Kevin actually did a really good job for once, you know? Like, it was nice that he actually did a nice assortment and it just got picked up for a second season.

Yeah, I'm getting all these messages. My friends are like, what should I do? What do I do? Like, how should I play it? And I was like, truly just be yourself. They're not going to try and make you look bad. And also the best advice for every, like, every avenue of life is to just be yourself. Yeah.

It really doesn't matter what fucking career sector you're in, be yourself. And if you're an asshole, then that's when you need to adjust. But usually if you lean into who you are instead of trying to be yourself. trying to be somewhere else. That's more of a winning game. Yeah. I mean, I honestly, I have not watched it. I don't like watching myself on film. Yeah. And so, and then also the reality TV aspect of it, I was like, that's just going to make me want to cross my legs differently. And, you know, so I was like, just let it live. Whatever happens, happens. So I actually, I have no idea how I came off. But I assume it came off okay because everyone

was like, you seem so nice. I was like, thank God. And also the great thing about this show is that, well, and I think, this is a great story about like all reality shows. It doesn't matter if you win or not. You're getting tons of attention and you're going on tour and you're selling out venues. Like that's what matters. And so, and that's happening for so many of you guys. So that's awesome too. It's the first time in my life I've had to add a show. I was like, who is that for? That's crazy. Yeah. And everybody who comes out, they're fans of the shows. But they're also, because they're fans of the show, the show also taught audience members how to act at a comedy show. And so you don't really have any

problem audience members. They're very well-behaved, very respectful, very excited. They've been the best audiences I've ever performed for. That's what a great point that I wouldn't have thought of. Have you relayed that to Kevin? No, I don't have his number. I'll be honest. I'll give it to you. Actually, I'd like to give it out to everyone who's listening on the podcast. You let him know he did a good job. Feel free to call him. He'll pick up, believe me. Yeah? Oh, boy. He will. He will. He will. He will. Call him right now. He'll pick it up. He doesn't know. He's so eager to just get a call from anyone. He doesn't care. That is the nice thing about him. He does call everybody back, I think. Anyway, um... How long have you guys been friends? Forever. I've known Kevin since

Chelsea Lately days. He used to be on Chelsea Lately. That was like, yeah, he was a regular on the roundtable until he put his little foot down and said, I am now too big for the roundtable. I can only come on as a guest. Wow. And I remember, and I've said this before when he and I have done stuff, I said, I go, you know, that was a big move for you to do. And it was like, we were all kind of like, who does he think he is? And I was like, I respect it. I like, I like, that he's saying that, that he's only coming on as a guest, which means he's not going to come on all the time because we only had one guest on, whereas we had three comics on every day in those days. So, but I liked that move, and he saw big things for himself and like, you kind of have

to operate like that, you know, and he gets away with it. Yeah. Well, he's so funny. And he's sweet. And he's just like a good, he's, you know, he's an idiot. But he's, you know what I mean? He pulls through in a class. She always does, and I respect that too about him. So tell me how your life has been going since all of this. First of all, okay, can we talk about your you've been single for the first time? Because I've been watching you on podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're going to go through our DMs together, by the way. I think that would be a good exercise. Sure. I mean, you should see. Mine go from, I want to fuck the shit out of you to, I hope you die and hang yourself tonight. It's a real mixed bag. And then it'll be like, hey, I'm single and looking for her on the husband.

And you set me up? And I'm like, oh my God, which do I respond to first? But mine go from very, very, like, nice, like, hey, I thought you were great to I would let you sit on my face until you shat in my mouth. That's the last one I got. And I was like, did you respond to that? I sure didn't, but I sent it to all my male friends. I heard you on a podcast saying that someone said that Ariana Grande DM'd you and that

you had a, like, what is it called? A bot. You had a bot that responded to everybody? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was my manager, she's like, she's on it. She's young and she really wants big things for me, which is great because all I want to do is stand-up, but she's like, no, we're going to capitalize. So she created all these, this bot response to anybody who DMs me.

But apparently there's a setting that you can do where someone, if they have over a certain amount of followers, it won't bought them. But she didn't know that. So Ariana was like, oh, my God, you did so great on the show. That's sweet. Very sweet. Because she's a huge comedy fan. I forgot.

But yeah, she's a huge comedy fan. So she watched the show. She loved it. And my bot response was like, please sign up for my mailing list. And I was like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You're Ariana Grande. And she was like, yeah, it's cool.

I loved it. You know, like she was so nice. But that was the most mortifying because I was also hungover. And I was like, I screwed it. I screwed the pooch with Ariana Grande. So are you having a lot of sex? No. Do you want to be having a lot of sex?

I do. It's going to happen. Okay. Yeah, it will. Here's the thing. I took time off to prepare for the show. I was like, we had like a six-month waiting period before we re-taped. And I was like, six months? Yeah, six months. It was, because he had to shoot Jumanji 18 or whatever. So he, uh, we had like six months off. So I was like, I'm going to put everything I have into this. I'm not going to drink. I'm going to

eat right. I'm going to really not date because I get distracted. I'm going to put everything I can't have into this. It's a big opportunity. It's on Netflix. It's with Kevin Hart. I don't know if it's going to be a hit, but just in case it is, be prepared. Wow, good for you. So I took off, and then as soon as the show finished, I was like, I'm ready. And then everyone was like, oh, no, we respect you now. And I was like, God damn it.

So I've been on the dating apps trying to date, but they all, half of them recognize me from the show, and they make some weird joke that makes me feel weird. Or they're all married trying to hook up. The Hard Rock Beck Casino app is now in Ontario, the name you know

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Please play responsibly. Concerned about your gambling or that of someone close to you, visit connectsonterio.ca. I'm Melissa Jeltson, host of the What Happened to Her podcast. We're kicking off the season with the Sandra Birchmore story, a case the police rode off as a suicide in a snowstorm. Her family never bought it, and the man they suspected wore a badge. You never know who that devil is because he's wearing in disguise. Sometimes it's a police uniform. And you can get access to all episodes 100% ad-free with an IHeart True Crime Plus subscription,

exclusively on Apple Podcasts, available only to IHeart True Crime Plus subscribers. So don't wait, head to Apple Podcasts, search for iHeart True Crime Plus, and subscribe today. Lisa? We should tell them about our new show. Oh my God, Lexi. We have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi Yuwano.

We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa Di Giulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions, and at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all. I'm not going to get anywhere. You're fighting. That is wild. I learned that about you today. Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste is my business.

And I've always got something to say. If men were just honest about this, there would be so much more peace in the world. We're going to talk about dating, relationships, beauty, getting older, and a little wiser. We're best friends, but we don't always agree. Because you told us how accommodating you are. Obviously, I would do what I think I could do to fight the fight, but there's just a good. There's only so much fight I can fight. Don't lie to me.

Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Liar. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I don't really care. Hi, this is Kylie Breakman. Angel Geratana. Jeremy Colhane. Patrick McDonald.

And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists Podcast. The Improvised Character Comedy Podcast where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. Join us for a panel of wellness influencers. What I try to do is faux journal. I don't know. Have you guys heard of faux journaling? Yeah, it's reading. It's called reading.

So we don't like to use that word anymore. Okay. A panel of New Yorker cartoonists. Have you guys done Terry Gross's Peloton class? No! I've been dying too. I'm so sorry. I'm seeing a reading of Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes by Audra McDonald's at the Wonderland Bookstore.

That's crazy. I went to the Wonderland Bookstore. yesterday and I heard Nora Jones do a reading of Zero Dark 30. No way. You have to come to the last bookstore though. Kim Cottrell is reading the guitar tabs of yesterday. A panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween sometimes.

Does the Pope dress up? He winks on Halloween. He gets right up next to the microphone. I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other. You never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Listen to artists on artists on artists on artists on artists on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcasts. The True Crime Comedy Podcasts all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it.

Each week I bring on incredible guests like Conan O'Brien, Iowa Debrie, Lamorne Morris, and Nicole Byer. Ooh, I scammed them. What? I can talk to you for an hour. You're a generational yapper like me. That's why I had to make yankers. having a job. And the scams run the gamut.

I'm talking about scams from the 1800s all the way up to today. I also warn you and keep you safe against scammers. Call your grandparents. Tell your parents to stop clicking on links, please. And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube. If there's a scam, I'm here to protect you. And I'm also here to laugh with you. So if you like fun, if you like comedy, and you like learning and protecting yourself from criminals,

Start listening to Scam Goddess on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. The World Cup is over, but if you caught the soccer bug and aren't sure what to do now, check out our podcast, Big Kick Energy. I'm Cameron Dicker, the kicker from the Los Angeles Chargers, most accurate kicker in NFL history, but I was raised on the soccer pitches of Shanghai. And I'm here with Timmy Tillman, L-A-F-C-Star, grew up in the academies of Germany, and now under the bright lights of Major League Soccer. So, we know a little something about...

kicking balls. Maybe you're new to the game or you're ready to take your passion to the next level. Each week we'll tackle things like who's winning the Premier League this year. Playing like a number 10, do you know what that means? Then we go over to France. Ligoon. Liga. Liga.

He knows more, he's better than me. What do you think is harder? Scoring a penalty kick or scoring a field goal? He's in the NFL and I'm like, just a big fact I do. That's crazy. Join us each week for a quick chat with your soccer-loving bros about the best sport in the world. Soccer, just don't tell my coaches I said that. Listen to Big Kick Energy on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Whether you're stepping up to the starting line of a marathon or just trying to take the first step toward a big, scary goal, the conversation in your head is usually the same. Do I have what it takes? I'm Emily Abadi, and on hurdle with Emily Abadi, we dive into the grit, vulnerability, and mindset that fuels our greatest comebacks. I talk to elite athletes, Olympic champions, industry change makers, and everyday runners about how they face self-doubt, redefine success, and keep moving forward when life gets heavy. I'd just love to say, I never know who's watching. So you want to make sure you, you through and through, and you just stay true to who you are. Yeah, your path might change because different things come on your path to disrupt it, but it's just putting you on a new path, and the skills you have to have faith at the skills that you've learned and developed over time are going to continue to bring you success. When the world is burning and crashing around you,

will you still say fight for your dream? Will you still say it's possible? Will you still believe you're a good person? Can you still see the brighter side of tomorrow? It's motivation, real talk, and practical wisdom for life on and off the run. Listen to Hurtle with Emily Abadi on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What's your biggest ick from a guy?

Like, what are the things that make you the most grossed out? You're grossed out. Like when a man, if you're on a date with a guy, like what is something that could happen that will make you have to leave the situation before you even finish the date? I honestly, I have a pretty low bar. As much as I say, probably if he said something racist or if he was mean to the server. Yeah, racist or those are two good examples. Like I say that I had a date once and I met him on an app. And this is, I don't know, years and years ago.

Which is? I don't remember. Probably Raya. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was years ago. And I met, and we were talking for a couple days. I was in San Francisco and I was coming back. I was like, oh, Sunday night I was going to meet.

I met him at this restaurant called Shay J and Santa Monica. Okay. And he was really hot and sexy. I was like, oh, I'm going to fuck this guy. It's going to be so fun. Like, oh, my God. I love this. Sunday night sex.

And I went in and I was driven. I had a driver take me there because I was going to drink. And, you know, and I was hopefully going to go. somewhere with him. You had dreams. And I sat down and he spilled a, like, chips with salsa. It had like a little ramekin of salsa. I only know that word ramekin because I was a waitress for many years. And it had a little salsa and the salsa spilled on my jeans. And I don't like salsa. I don't like the smell of salsa, like especially the fake salsa when it's not real Mexican salsa. You know what I mean when it's in that little, what's it called? Pace pecante, like that kind of salsa. One's kind of tomato. Like the one's they sell in the supermarket. Just like a... Tostitos or whatever. Yes.

And I went into the bathroom and the smell made my vagina shut. And I was like, the smell of the salsa, I was so angry at him for being... A, clumsy is a big turnoff for me. A guy drops things or can't... It walks around like an idiot and bumps into shit. I find that very much a turnoff. I can't fuck a guy that's clumsy. You have to be able to catch something if it's going to drop.

You have to catch it and stop that. Yeah. And I was in, I'm in the bathroom and I remember in real time going, well, I can't fuck this guy now. And then I was like, you know what? I can't even go back to the bar and sit with him, actually. He deserves to be punished. Like, this is an unworkable situation. So I go, I walk right out.

Yeah. I don't, you know, he's at the bar. He doesn't see me. I walk up pretty much right by him, but it's a pretty dark place. I get back in the car and my driver who has, been my driver for 25 years. Billy goes, what, what, what's going on, child? And I was like, it's over.

And he goes, uh-oh, uh-oh, I go, he spilled sauce on me. He goes, let me get you home. And I left, and I left the bar, went home. And I was like, well, but I couldn't believe the, like, and it wasn't his fault, you know, obviously he wasn't trying to do it on purpose. But it was unacceptable. Like, it was one of the thing that I couldn't come back from. Yeah.

Yeah, I dated a guy who couldn't even like look at, like he was such a picky eater that he was like, I don't like the texture of sauce. I don't even like, look at my food can't touch. And I was like, that's also a vagina closer right there. What about men who take really big bites of food? And then they're chewing. And if you're not watching this and you're listening to it, I want you to imagine that I just took a bite of a Philly fucking cheese steak. Yeah. That was too big for my mouth doing this.

That is a fucking boner killer too. Yeah, when they don't even close their mouth too chill? No, no, no. That is the mouth. What are your barbarian? But it's so gross when the bite is too big for your mouth and then you're working on it for like close to three to four minutes. Like then you took too much food. You fucking big.

The gum snapping, snapping, spacking, I hate that with the. Oh, I'm sorry, I did that to us. I'm sorry I did that. You can cut it out. Some people like it. What is it? EMSCR? EMSM.

SMR. E-D-M-S-A-R. E-D-M-S-A-R. It's a dance sore. N-T-A-M-S-R. I don't like toenails. Oh, man feet in general. Just job them off.

No, no, no. There are some nice male feet out there. I don't have a problem with feet as long as they have been taking care of. But they're always furry. They always got like a little furze on it. That doesn't even bother me. It's the toenail. It's as long as you cut your fucking toenails and that they are normal and decent.

I don't want to see them. I don't want them out on display. But if I am going to see them or we're in bed and I feel a toenail, then it's a wrap also. And hopefully by that point we've had sex anyway, so, you know, no big huge loss for you because you just won't see me again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But certain things just are really hard to come back from. Like back hair is a tough one to come back for. Yeah.

I was hookup with this one guy, he was so hot. He was a BMX bike rider. I mean, I'm just living his Peter Pan life. Okay. Thank you. So hot. And I go and I put my arms around and then it's just like it's the stubble from when he shaved it. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. It's almost like it's better if they don't shave their back here. It's like if you can't. I helped him shave his back. The next day. We hooked up one time and I helped him shave his bag. It was so upsetting. After you hooked up with him? Yes. And then you were like, see you later? No, and then we hooked up for three months.

Oh, okay. But the stubble. Okay, well, that's, um, the stubble from the shave is something that is, I would almost prefer because sometimes there's back hair on your shoulders a little bit. Yeah. And I'm not mad at that. Obviously it's not ideal, but I can get around that. It's when I don't like to feel stubble like any hair growing in. So you either need to get electrolysis, laser hair removal, or if it's just a little, just go with it. Yeah.

Like it's okay. It's not the worst thing in the world. Because I don't mind, how do you feel about hairy chest? Love them. Yeah, I like a hairy chest too. I want a pierce bosman. You know what else I like? I'm a man when they have hairy forearms.

Oh, really? I like hair on four arms. You like a little, you like a little Robin Williams. I don't like that. No. God rest his soul. Listen, I'm not trying to, you know what I mean? I'm not trying to fuck Robin Williams in real life.

A little furry goblin. No, I want, but I don't mind a little forearm hair. And when they roll their shirt sleeves up, if they have like a shirt, like a proper shirt on, I find that to be quite sexy. Yeah, I like the whole, the Guido Tuft, you know, like the old, the Italian gabagoo. He's got it right there. Yeah, do give us, give Mommy one more button. Come on. Let's see.

Yeah. That's what I like. Do you have long fingernails over there? Oh, no. Come over here. Hold on a second. Wow. Laser focused.

Oh my God. You didn't get in trouble for the computer dying twice, but let me see this. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't like that. You have to cut those. I was trying to cut them this morning before I came. Yeah. Oh, my God.

Shame on you. You don't touch a woman with those. You could hurt somebody with those. They're like three days longer than... Okay, okay, yeah. Let's not let's not let that happen again. Come on, you have to respect yourself. What do you think about nipple sizes on man?

I don't like them too big. Oh, I was going to say I don't like small ones. You don't like small ones? I like a small little kiss of a nipple. I like when they have a little contour. Wow. I like it when there's like an ariola and a nipple separate. Like, not separate.

I was going to say, what is that? That's a human anomaly. And the nipples is not near. And then the aerial is here. That's called a birth mark. It's got two birth marks on either side. I like, Wendy, I like nipples. I don't want big nipples or anything.

But I don't like when they're little baby, like little nipples, like a baby's nipple, you know. I think nipples in general are kind of weird. Yeah, they are. Same with belly buttons. Do you have sensitive nipples? I have very sensitive nipples. I've never thought about that.

Well, do you need somebody to touch your nipples when you're having sex with that? No. Okay, I do. I need that to happen. Or if I'm going to have an orgasm, I need you to also be doing something with my nipples. I need a little nipple play. But a lot of women, it's too sensitive. They can't be touched.

And a lot of men don't like it. I've yet to find a man that likes their nipples touched. I dated a guy who wanted his nipples touched. Yeah. Yeah. And then I would do that and he'd be like, too hard. And I'm going to like, this is new for me. So anything that's happened that was too weird to do in bed,

that a man liked that you were not willing to do? One guy I dated wanted to be spit on, and I was like, I'll give it, I love you, so I'll try, you know. Another guy had a Prince Albert. What is that? Thank you. Oh, yeah. It deserves a gasp.

It's a penis piercing. A Prince Albert? A Prince Albert. It's the spike that goes to the tip. Does Prince Albert have a penis? Well, he looked it up because it was apparently there was a Queen Victoria's High husband. Apparently he had a really long dick and it would get show and so he

did the piercing and then he attached it to a belt. It's all a myth. It's a myth. It's just a weird thing that some person was like, what if I pierced my dick? I don't even like the term long penis. I find that to be, that evokes a hot dog situation. I don't like that. And I don't like people who like that either. No one wants a long and skinny. No. And I don't like short of fat. I just want a regular, I don't even need a big

penis. Like, I obviously don't want a little Vienna sausage or a shrinky-dink, but even though, like, I, I, I want men to know, and no men are listening to this, so it doesn't matter. But I want men to know that, like, a little penis is not the end of the world because there are so many other things you can do. I mean, yeah, it probably wouldn't, like, it would, wouldn't prolong the relationship. It would be the, whatever the opposite of prolong is, it would probably shorten the relationship. I was like, no. I can't think of my words right now. Shorten, yeah. Yeah, but it's not like the worst thing. Like, that's not a deal breaker. No. I mean, if you're talking about like a little, you know, it's something that can't get an erection. Oh, that's worse.

That's the hard. I, whenever I hook up with it, like the BMXer, I liked him so much. I was like, just be normal. Just have a dick. It could be any size, any, just be there. And it was. And it was great. So I dated him for three months.

And I literally, I was like, the dick is there. And then I'd touch him. Like, ah, the back hair. But it was fine. I went through a period of time where I would go on dates. It was like a, it was a long duration of time. It was over a year where everyone I would hook up with couldn't get an erection around me. And I was like, oh my God.

I mean, I was really worried something was wrong with my vagina or wrong with me. And I was like, I mean, we talked about it ad nauseum, me and my girlfriends. I was like, what is going on? And they're like, you know, you're just too much woman. You're emasculating. I'm like, well, that's a nice narrative. But I mean, something else is happening. Like, how can I be dating this many men that can't get an erection?

Is it my perfume? Is it? And then I realized drinking certain men after drinks at a certain age can't get it up. So then I was like, oh, this is a whole, this is like an epidemic with men, which is very unfair also to men. Because we can't, like, there's nothing that prohibits our performance. I mean, not really. I mean, we can get some lube and make it work. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

Like, you know, so it's unfair. that that happens, but also if that happens to you, then you need to have the right supplies. That's when I started dating men that were younger. I'm like, I don't have time for this. But there are older guys that have never had a problem getting it up. I dated an old, I've dated older guys so many times. But I went through a spell of a year and I was really worried about it. So that finally, when I started dating guys that actually had like rock hard penises, I was like, thank God. They're back. You know? They're back, baby. I just had to like dip into a lower age. Yeah. Can I, can I,

ask, I realized I don't know how to flirt. I, or I think I'm flirting and I just, I have also, I think I'm too much of a comic, so I'm like crowdworking them in a way. I don't know. Do you approach men? What is your line? How do you do it? No, I don't think I approach men. I, I know what you mean. I feel I relate to what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think as a female comedian, it is very hard because you're so used to being in control of the situation. Do you know what I mean? So that it's hard to let our guard down. And it's not that we don't want to be vulnerable. We do. It's just hard. It's just hard. because we're in control and we're power women. Like, it's hard for, like, once a guy hits on me, I'm still in control.

Do you know what I mean? Like, it's never like I'm giving him the, it's like, I might give him the go ahead, but I'm still running the show. I've never been in a dynamic with a man that I'm dating where he's calling the shots. Yeah, never once. Well, maybe, once. Once? But not a lot.

So I think it's very hard to, I think also if you've, you, your last relationship, you were going to get married, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, you've been single for two years, you said, and then you were sober for two years and you lost all this weight for two years. I think you're probably, like, coming into a new version of yourself in a sense. And now you're getting famous, you know what I mean? So, like, a lot of things are happening.

So it might be, like, a weird adjustment. Yeah, I just, I just don't know how to, I don't know how to date anymore. I did this whole thing. I was like, I'm going to meet them in real life. and then that didn't happen. Well, what's your move when you like someone? And what have you tried to do? What's my move?

My move when I like someone to be like, oh, is he single? I ask his friend, and then I never hear anything ever again. I like to slide into people's DMs. You do? Because that, yeah. What are you saying?

I'll just be like, hey, you're pretty cute. I mean, like, no. Well, I got a lot of DMs from a lot of guys that are trying to hit on me. And you do too. Yes, yes, yes. And that aren't gross. Yeah.

But I don't really respond to that, but it's given me the idea in the past where I see it. I'm like, oh, you know what? Like, I've had a lot of, like, famous guys slide into my DMs, mostly rappers, who are like, hey, you know, you gave Eddie a shot. Like, I want to hit that. It's like, well, I'm not, okay, come over.

You're like, it's not open for business in that way. But, like, thank you for your interest. Not accepting. That's your thing. I only date rappers. But I do, if I do see someone, like, I still am on Raya. So, like, I will use that. I have it in a while.

but I'm not opposed to it. Yeah. And I will slide into, but I think sliding into someone's DM on Instagram is a better way to be like, I like your profile, you're really cute. And just start a conversation.

And you get, you know, like it's not a dating app. No. So it's kind of a nice subterfuge around it. Even though you're being direct and you can flirt with someone, like, do you have a girlfriend? Just be, you know, like,

because that way it's not like you're walking up to a guy and trying to be flirty. Yeah. You can kind of get the conversation going and I like writing anyway, back and forth. Flirting that way is fun. Yeah. And then that kind of builds a little tension.

And then from there you can be like, okay, let's go on a date. But there's so many cute guys to meet that way. And I've met a couple guys and had sex with a couple guys by sliding into their DMs. Are you interested in relationship? Because I do want a relationship eventually. Yeah, I still think you can do that way. Yeah. You just have to be honest about what you're looking for.

Hi, I think you're cute. You want to get married in two to five years? I froze my eggs. I'm bringing them over. I'm bringing them over. What kind of guy do you think you're looking for? I don't know. I've never cared about height, like physically.

Never cared about height. So they could be Kevin's size? They could be Kevin's size. Really? If they have a strong back, yeah. If they could physically pick me up, that's all you care about? That's all I care about. Okay.

Because I've dated too many of the guys where I'm like, I'm the one saving us in a fire. and that just eventually just becomes unattractive. So I want a strong guy who takes care of himself. Like you've dated guys that are like diminutive, like thin, small? Yeah, like, yeah, yeah. Just kind of wavefish. Oh, yeah. You know, the body we wanted in high school.

I know. I don't, I'm not, I like a man to have a little bit more meat. Yeah, yeah. Or just be, like, I need them to be stronger than me. Yeah, that's what I want. I want someone to be stronger than me. Which is, now it's a tall order. But, you know, it is what I like.

I like someone with a sense of humor. And I need him to have his own thing. I've dated so many guys now that are like, well, I'll just, you'll just do comedy and I'll just be the house husband. And I was like, oh. Who's saying that? That's so gross. Yeah. Yeah, that's happened to me twice now.

And I was like, well, no, no, no, no. You have to have your own thing. I can't be the center of your world. So any guy with any kind of passion, that would be great. That's what I want. The Hard Rock Beck Casino app is now in Ontario. the name you know and trust, which means credibility,

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Must be 19 years of age or older to play. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. Concerned about your gambling or that of someone close to you, visit connectsonterio.ca. I'm Melissa Jeltson, host of the What Happened her podcast. We're kicking off the season with the Sandra Birchmore story, a case the police rode off as a suicide in a snowstorm. Her family never bought it, and the man they suspected wore a badge. You never know who that devil is because he's wearing in disguise. Sometimes it's a

police uniform. And you can get access to all episodes 100% ad-free with an IHeart True Crime Plus subscription exclusively on Apple Podcasts, available only to IHeart True Crime Plus subscribers. So don't wait, head to Apple Podcasts, search for iHeart True Crime Plus, and subscribe today. Lisa, we should tell them about our new show. Oh my God, Lexi. We have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi Youanu.

We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa Di Giulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions. And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all. I'm not going to get anywhere. That is wild. I learned that about you today. Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste is my business,

and I've always got something to say. If men were just honest about this, there would be so much more peace in the world. We're going to talk about dating, relationships, beauty, getting older, and a little wiser. We're best friends, but we don't always agree. Because you told us how accommodating you are. Obviously, I would do what I think I could do

to fight the fight, but there's only so much fight I can fight. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Liar. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I don't really care. Hi, this is Kylie Breakman.

Angel Geratana. Jeremy Colhane. Patrick McDonald. And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists Podcast. The Improvised Character Comedy Podcast where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. Join us for a panel of wellness influencers. What I try to do is faux journal. I don't know. Have you guys heard of faux journaling?

Yeah, it's reading. It's called reading. So we don't like to use that word anymore. Okay. A panel of New Yorker cartoonists. Have you guys done Terry Gross's Peloton class? No! I've been dying too.

I'm so sorry. I'm seeing a reading of Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes by Audra McDonald's at the Wonderland Bookstore. That's crazy. I went to the Wonderland Bookstore. yesterday and I heard Nora Jones do a reading of Zero Dark 30. No way. You have to come to the last bookstore though. Kim Cottrell is reading the guitar tabs of yesterday.

A panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween sometimes. Does the Pope dress up? He winks on Halloween. It's right up next to the microphone. I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other. You never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Listen to artists on artists on artists on artists on artists on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcasts. The True Crime Comedy Podcasts all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Each week I bring on incredible guests like Conan O'Brien, Iowa Debris, Lamorne Morris, and Nicole Byer. Ooh, I scammed them. What? I can talk to you for an hour. You're a generational yapper like me. That's why I had to make yankers.

And the scams run the gamut. I'm talking about scams from the 1800s all the way up to today. I also warn you and keep you safe against scammers. Call your grandparents. Tell your parents to stop clicking on links, please. And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube. If there's a scam, I'm here to protect you. And I'm also here to laugh with you.

So if you like fun, if you like comedy, and you like learning and protecting yourself from criminals, Start listening to Scam Goddess on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. The World Cup is over, but if you caught the soccer bug and aren't sure what to do now, check out our podcast, Big Kick Energy. I'm Cameron Dicker, the kicker from the Los Angeles Chargers, most accurate kicker in NFL history, but I was raised on the soccer pitches of Shanghai. And I'm here with Timmy Tillman, L-A-F-C-star, grew up in the academies of Germany and now under the bright lights of Major League Soccer. So, we know a little something about kicking balls. Maybe you're new to the game or you're ready to take your passion to the next level.

Each week we'll tackle things like who's winning the Premier League this year. Playing like a number 10. Do you know what that means? Then we go over to France. Ligoon. Liga. L'an? Liga.

He knows more. He's better than me. What do you think is harder? Scoring a penalty kick or scoring a field goal? He's in the NFL and I'm like, just a big fact I do enough. Join us each week for a quick chat with your soccer-loving bros about the best sport in the world. Soccer. Just don't tell my coaches I said that.

Listen to Big Kick Energy on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Whether you're stepping up to the starting line of a marathon or just trying to take the first step toward a big, scary goal, the conversation in your head is usually the same. Do I have what it takes? I'm Emily Abadi, and on hurdle with Emily Abadi, we dive into the grit, vulnerability, and mindset that fuels our greatest comebacks. I talk to elite athletes, Olympic champions, industry change makers, and, and everyday runners about how they face self-doubt, redefine success, and keep moving forward when life gets heavy.

I'd just love to say, I never know who's watching. So you want to make sure you, you through and through, and you just stay true to who you are. Yeah, your path might change because different things come on your path to disrupt it, but it's just putting you on a new path, and the skills you have to have faith at the skills that you've learned and developed over time are going to continue to bring you success. When the world is burning and crashing around you,

will you still say fight for your dream? Will you still say it's part? possible. Will you still believe you're a good person? Can you still see the brighter side of tomorrow? It's motivation, real talk, and practical wisdom for life on and off the run. Listen to Hurtle with Emily Abadi on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The clumsy comment I made earlier about men being clumsy, I just remember there was this one guy that I dated for a while, and we were fooling around. And it was up at, and it was up. I live in Canada in the wintertime for skiing.

And we were up there and we were fooling around. And I rolled over to get something, glass of water, whatever. And I didn't realize we were at his place and I didn't realize the bed ended. And I almost fell on the ground. But he grabbed me underneath my body so quickly to prevent me falling. And that bought us like another two months in that relationship. I would have married him. So that was connected to my earlier clumsy comment.

But just popped into my head when you were talking about someone being smaller than you. Like, I need somebody who's going to catch me. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, that's so hot. What about being a lesbian? Have you contemplated this? I mean, are we all...

How old are you? 39. Okay, good. That's a great age. I love it. 40 is going to be... The decade of your 40s is going to be the best decade of your life. And then you're going to turn 50 and you're going to be like, oh, my God, here we go again.

It's another round robin. Every decade is a new rebirth. Yeah? Yeah, you're going to... Because look, look, look, look, look, everything's going for you. It's going to be so exciting to turn 40. Then you're going to be really solidified in who you are, even more so than you are now. And you're going to just have a great time. I'm actually not dreading the 40s. I'm excited. You shouldn't be worried about

aging. No, no. I don't. I did for a little bit. And then I got Botox and I was like, calm down. Okay. And then talk to my therapist about with the boat, blah, blah, blah. But I actually enjoy my age. I actually say my age on stage now, which is a huge step for me. And, were you embarrassed about your age? I was just older than the comics. I started later, quote unquote, later. I started when I was 27. And every, all of my friends were like 22, 23.

So I was the older one, you know. And so I kind of like took that really to heart. Oh, yeah. Let that go. I let it go. Yeah. In the past, again, in the past two years, it was a real big, uh, crystallis butterfly situation.

Okay. Yeah. And so I've accepted my age, accepted body stuff, uh, accepted that I, might end up alone and that's okay, you know. It's like, it's a real been, it's been a real journey. And I've never felt better. But now I'm like, yeah, okay, I would like a partner. I'd like to be with someone. And now I'm like, well, it's all hopeless. It's not hopeless. It is not hopeless. There are men out there. Believe me, there are. I have a good time with men a lot. Yeah. And I'm not somebody who's serious about a relationship at this juncture. I mean, I don't see

that happening. In my desire land. Like, I really am a free spirit. And I like, to bop around the world. And sometimes I like company and sometimes I don't. So, but I'm here to tell you that there are very, there is a supply of men out there. Yeah. They're out there. Yeah. I think I just want to have fun for a moment. Yeah. First of, well, yeah, you can't put pressure on it if you meet somebody and be like, you know, like you can't, I think the mistake that so many women make, and I understand the desire to want to pair up and partner with someone, but I think the mistake so many people make is like putting so much pressure on just like somebody you're having a good time with like it doesn't have to you don't have to look at that person like am i going to be with them

in 10 years it doesn't matter you're going to be with them now have a good time how to be present like don't don't project like yeah that's not normal anyway to want to spend 10 years with somebody yeah you know necessarily right off the back that has to be earned yes you know you spend time with someone you get to know them and you grow to them and you're like oh I really enjoy you actually I enjoy being with you more than I enjoy being alone yeah if I were to ever get to that point with someone, then I would be able to commit to them. Yeah. Yeah, they have to add to the life. Yeah, they have to, because right now I feel very secure and happy and I'm taking care of myself. I just made this joke on stage. I was like, I don't need a man. Why am I putting on a push-up bra?

Who gives it shit? It's uncomfortable, you know? So I'm like there in my mind. And so now I'm just like, okay, it would be nice to meet someone and date and have fun and have sex. I enjoy sex. And then I enjoy sex. I have a nice time when I have sex. And I don't touch my nipples. It's really nice. Okay. My normal sized nipples. All right. But actually, I don't know if they're normal. I think they're normal size. Well, get them out. We can measure them. I mean, we can figure out right now if they're normal

sized or not. We take callers on this show. Oh, great. This is exciting. Catherine? All right. Well, our first question is a right in. What is that attitude? I mean, you said what kind of energy is that? All right. What does that mean? It sounds like something is coming down the

that we're not going to love. All right. I think this one, this is a legit question. Well, for it before we start. Okay. Caitlin. Tell me. What is the worst advice that you've ever been given?

Can you think of something? Oh, I remember one of my aunts told me that I was spoiling, you know. I was like, oh, you better get someone. You're kind of spoiling. And this is where it fucking begins. Yeah. This is where it begins. This is where it begins.

Women haunting other women with the ideas of spoiling. Yeah. What's the best advice that you've ever been? The best advice, it wasn't really advice. My mom, when I told her I was doing comedy, she was like, oh, good, you're going to use all of your skills, you know? That was very, she was like, I was like, oh, okay. I didn't realize, because usually you tell your mom you're going into comedy and they're

like freaking out, but she was like, no, you use all your skills, use all of the things that you're good at. And I feel like you can do that with comedy. You are, you know, you seem very polished. You said you started when you were 27, so that's like over 10 years, right, that you've been doing it. Yeah, you really had a very strong stage presence. Oh, thank you.

And that is the most important thing. I appreciate it. I feel like when you start a little later, you kind of know yourself a little bit more, you know, and so you kind of find out what you want to talk about faster, you know. Yeah, at least, and my experience, that's what happened. Yeah. But I also could be full of shit. I know a lot of people who had a strong sense of self younger, too, and they're still doing it,

but a lot of people who didn't have a strong sense of self kind of dropped off. I think also men are better at faking that. than women are. Yes. So that's kind of how you cut that, cut through that. You know, I think as a comedian, if you're not really have a strong POV, everyone sees through that. And it's very transparent. You can't fake it.

No. No, and guys are very good at just the confidence. Faking it. Yeah, the confidence. Even the way that they stand sometimes. You know, I'll see male comics and they're like, leaning on the microphone like they're the man. I'm like, get off of that. Like, what?

Stop standing like that. Anyway, Catherine. I know exactly what you're talking about and it drives me crazy too. It's like this, yeah, it's too flanky. I don't like when men are like that either. That's another turnoff. When they're like too like lanky, you know, and their bodies move kind of like guppy, that's another ick.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get your limbs together. What are you doing? No arms akimbo. No. Yeah, yeah. Or when their legs. I dated this guy once who I swore one of his legs was shorter than the other one.

And so I'm not... That was his penis, Chelsea. So his, so I was seeing this guy casually and then I left something at his house and I had my assistant go get it the next day. I say, will you go to the Palisades and pick up this thing at this guy's house? That's a wild sentence. I know. But listen, I'm not going to pretend my life isn't what it is, okay?

Because that's a lie too. So I got it. Everyone knows the way I live and I'm embracing it. So I had him, I was like, hey, go. And then before my assistant could go pick it up, the guy found it. It was my wallet or purse or whatever. I think it was my wallet because I took it out for something and I forgot to put it back on my purse. And he was like, oh, I know this trick.

I know you left your wallet because you want to see me again. I'm like, that's not what's happening at all. And actually, I'm already on it. Someone's coming to retrieve it. He's like, no, no, no, no, no. It's okay. Anyway, he's on his way. I tell my assistant, I go, listen.

when he gets here, I need you to look, check something out. I said, I think there's a leg disparity. I'm like, I'm pretty sure one of his legs is slightly longer than the other leg. And my assistant was like, stop it, stop it, stop it. Luckily my assistant at the time was gay. So he had a keen eye for this kind of thing. So when he came, I wasn't in the mood to see that. I hadn't, it wasn't a serious relationship.

And I just didn't want to see him in the daytime. I had a busy day. And I just made myself scarce or I left. But I told my assistant, I go, on the situation. And when I came home, the look on my assistant's face said it all. He goes, something is off. He goes, something happened. He goes, there must have been a surgery or an accident. And I was like, I knew it. I knew it. They have special shoes for that. Well, let's not even get that started. He was really hot, too. He was handsome and sexy. Actually, I set him up with a friend of

mine afterward. She had sex with her, too. Wow. You just throw him around. You wanted to double check. I had a friend who was a lesbian for a little bit. Yeah. And she was coming out of her relationship with this woman. And she's like, I think I'm ready to try guys. And I was like, I have a really hot guy. I didn't tell her about the legs.

She's a lesbian. She won't care. It's like a rescue dog. I said, I have a hot guy that I was having sex with for a while that I'm no longer having sex with. Are you open to that? And I was like, I think he'd have sex with you. And she said, yeah, yeah, actually, I am open to that. I'm like just to see if you're in a guys again.

I'm like he's really charming. I'll leave out the details just in case, you know, usually whatever I say gets back to people. So I have to learn how to pair of the details. Anyway, or spare the details, I should say. And so she ended up having sex with him too. So I thought that was really a gift. Did she like it? She was like, oh.

And then she started dating guys. She didn't date him. She just had sex with him. Yeah. So I just felt like that was nice that I was, you know, sharing him. That's a nice little kinship now you got. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean. And then I was like, what other friends got to hear? sex with mine. Okay, Catherine, let's get serious. Okay. This is out of control. It's like a party favor. The Hard Rock Bet Casino app is here, Ontario.

And with a name like Hard Rock, you know you're in for an experience you can only get here. Exclusive games, an exclusive progressive jackpot, and the kind of trust and security you can only get with Hard Rock. And now you can enjoy the things you can only get here anywhere.

Hard Rock Bed is here, Ontario. Download the app. with us. Must be 19 years of age or older to play. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. Concerned about your gambling or that of someone close to you, visit connectsonterio.com. I'm Melissa Jeltson, host of the What Happened to Her podcast. We're kicking off the season with the Sandra Birchmore story, a case the police rode off as a suicide in a snowstorm. Her family never bought it, and the man they suspected wore a badge. You never know who that devil is because he's wearing in disguise. Sometimes it's a police uniform. And you can get actually

access to all episodes 100% ad-free with an IHeart True Crime Plus subscription exclusively on Apple podcasts available only to IHeart True Crime Plus subscribers. So don't wait, head to Apple Podcasts, search for IHeart True Crime Plus, and subscribe today. Lisa, we should tell them about our new show. Oh my God, Lexi, we have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi Wano. We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa Di Giulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions, and at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all. I'm not going to get anyone you fighting.

That is wild. I learned that about you today. Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste is my business, and I've always got something to say. If men were just honest about this, there would be so much more peace in the world. We're going to talk about dating, relationships, beauty, getting older, and a little wiser. We're best friends, but we don't always agree. Because you told us how accommodating you are. Obviously, I would do what I think I could do to fight the fight, but there's only so much fight I can fight.

Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Liar. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I don't really care. I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast.

The True Crime Comedy Podcasts all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Each week, I bring on incredible guests like Conan O'Brien, Iowa Debrie, Lamorne Morris, and Nicole Byer. Ooh, I scammed them. I can talk to you for an hour. You're a generational yapper like me. That's why I had to make yapping a job. And the scams run the gamut. I'm talking about scams from the 1800s all the way up to today.

day. I also warn you and keep you safe against scammers. Call your grandparents. Tell your parents to stop clicking on links, please. And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube. If there's a scam, I'm here to protect you. And I'm also here to laugh with you. So if you like fun, if you like comedy and you like learning and protecting yourself from criminals, start listening to scam goddess on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, this is Kylie Breakman. Angel Geratana. Jeremy Colhane.

Patrick McDonald. And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists Podcast. The Improvised Character Comedy Podcast where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. Join us for a panel of wellness influencers. What I try to do is faux journal. I don't know. Have you guys heard of faux journaling? Yeah, it's reading.

It's called reading. So we don't like to use that word anymore. Okay. A panel of New Yorker cartoonists. Have you guys done Terry Gross's Peloton class? No! I've been dying too. I'm so sorry.

I'm seeing a reading of Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes by Audra McDonald's at the Wonderland Bookstore on 14th. That's crazy. I went to the Wonderland Bookstore yesterday and I heard Nora Jones do a reading of Zero Dark 30. No way. You have to come to the last bookstore though. Kim Cottrell is reading the guitar tabs of yesterday. A panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween.

sometimes. Does the Pope dress up? He winks on Halloween. It's right up next to the microphone. I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other. You never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists on the IHeard Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. The World Cup is over. But if you caught the soccer bug and aren't sure what to do now, check out our podcast, Big Kick Energy. I'm Cameron Dicker, the kicker from the Los Angeles Chargers. most accurate kicker in NFL history, but I was raised on the soccer pitches of Shanghai. And I'm here with Timmy Tillman, L-A-F-C-Star,

grew up in the academies of Germany and now under the bright lights of Major League Soccer. So, we know a little something about kicking balls. Maybe you're new to the game, or you're ready to take your passion to the next level. Each week we'll tackle things like, who's winning the Premier League this year? Playing like a number 10.

Do you know what that means? Then we go over to France. Ligoon. Ligon. Liga. Liga. Yeah. He knows more. He's better than me. What do you think is harder?

Scoring a penalty kick or scoring a field goal? He's in the NFL and I'm like, just a big fact. I do enough. That's crazy. Join us each week for a quick chat with your soccer-loving bros about the best sport in the world. Soccer. Just don't tell my coaches I said that. Listen to Big Kick Energy on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, what's up y'all? It's Questlove. And on the Questlove show, I've been sitting down with some really interesting people.

and I've got two recent episodes you should check out. I caught up with my good friend Jojo to talk about her music, her career, and what she's been up to. Don't invite me to karaoke. I'm going to make it weird. Someone's going to try to sing, leave get out, or too little, too late, or baby to you.

Oh, no. And I'm going to be like, okay, cool. I also caught up with Wally-2-67 for a conversation that covered his story, his perspective, and plenty more. I don't even call it cheat day. That's a life day. I'm not doing nothing.

Don't try to be slick and just go Sunday. Go Wednesday. This is what you do. Sleep later. Make a reservation for the rest of around later. Just chill. Listen to the music you want to listen to. Just enjoy it.

It's going to be all right. Nothing's going to have you. Wake up Wednesday. I'm like, ah, and you're going to feel better. And those are just two of the many recent episodes of the Questlove show. Listen to the Questlove show on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. This question is just a write-in. And she says, Logistics.

How do you go about asking guys about STDs before sleeping with them or do you at all? I tend to use a condom every time until slash if we decide we aren't going to sleep with anyone else. I've even gone as far as getting tested and having them get tested before bear backing him. I also have an IUD and the Gardasil shots because I don't want children ever and I've dealt with HPV. But as far as herpes and even HIV go, they often don't show up in tests or can take six months or so to show up in tests anyway. And I know herpes is only transmissible when there's an outbreak. Meanwhile, we're all going down on each other without using a condom because obvi. So like, what's the point?

Ugh. It's awkward to ask and they could still lie to you anyway. I feel like you'll have a good way to go about this with your global Pikachu. Love an anxious hoe that just wants to hoe freely. Caitlin, what do you have to say? Okay, listen, I'm not proud of this, but I don't, I'm not really great about using condoms. I know this is a terrible thing to say. But it's the truth. I'm not great about using condoms. I mean, I don't know what to say about that.

I know we're supposed to use condoms, but I don't know anyone who uses them. I have never. Anyone that is using condoms. Oh, well, now you have, Chil. I am a person who use condoms every time. Yeah, because I'm not on birth control. Okay, great. I'm not getting pregnant. So that's one thing I'm not having to worry about. I have a feeling I'm not either, but you know, I'd want to... Well, you have your eggs. Keeps me young. You have your eggs.

Yeah. Wearing condoms keeps me young. Heaps me young. Oh, my God. Am I going to get my period? Oh, God. One in an eight million chance of me getting pregnant right now. But, no, I use condoms.

But asking them about STDs, he's literally about to go inside me, you're like, you're clean, right? Yeah, I'm clean, you're clean. I'm like, yeah. I think that's a question that you have to ask before you, even go, I don't know when the right time to say that, but you can't be in the bedroom and ask because then people are just going to say whatever you want to hear. Exactly.

But I, like, I don't know. It's so funny that you do. It's so shameful. But I just don't. I mean, it's not like I'm, listen, I'm not having sex with tons of different guys. I am having sex occasionally. And I just used my judgment if I think that person is. No, I've used to kind of every time.

One time I went monogamous with the BMX. Man, I'm bringing him up a lot. Seriously. He was a great guy. No, my God. What happened to him? Why don't we get him back in the rotation? It's the whole thing.

He, oh my God, this is the hottest thing he's ever, man, has ever said to me. He came over to my house. He lived in Philly. Came to my house, had his big backpack. And he comes in and he goes, where can I put this where it won't annoy you? That's a lot. You can stay forever. Oh, that's hot.

I once had a guy tell me, he goes, you see. like the type of person that needs a lot of space. And I was like, that's sexy. Thank you for seeing that. Thank you for reading the room. And then act accordingly. Yeah, don't hang out for too long, buddy. Oh, yeah.

But he was great, but we used condoms, and then we went monogamous, and then we did pull out, which that made me anxious. So then I went back to using condoms. So, okay. Yeah. Yeah. First of all, men should have condoms on them. that should be a rule.

I have them in my side table. Yeah, but it should be a man's responsibility to have the conduct. Yes, I agree. It really should. And I know that doesn't always happen. So to answer your question, I would just say the most prudent time would to be before, if you're on a date and you're going home and you're going to be like, and you know what's up, be like, I have to ask you this question.

It's actually not a shameful question. And now that you bring it up, I might. But I should bring it up. We're having to come to Jesus moment here. Just be on page six. It's going to be so annoying. And another headline, it's some horrifying about me. I love it.

I love it. I think it's exciting. I think that keeps you young. Yeah, yeah. It does. It does. Yeah. But there are.

She doesn't totally justify her. And then I have nothing to say. It's just one lame, one comment after another, as if you could tell by looking at someone when they're not, they have her. This seems cool. No way he's got chlamydia. Like, like, are there a lot of, STDs going around. I just, I, here, let me just tell you this, and this is even going to be worse

than what I just said, I have had such a good track record that I, I would, if I haven't caught something by now, I'm like, well, obviously I'm picking the right guys. Well, that's what girls say right before they get pregnant. I've never, I've had so many close calls. I've never, then triplets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did it. I used them when a pregnancy was a fear. Yeah, that that fear has left the building. I have no worry. That was my biggest fear. Not SDD is pregnancy. Of course, of course. Yeah. There's only so many abortions you can get before, you know, they stop.

Your numbers are up. Yeah, they're like punch card? Yeah. They're like the ninth one was free. That's it. I'm joking. No one had nine abortions in this room, not even collectively. You don't know that?

You wrote into the wrong podcast for that question. I know this is an advice podcast, but this is the one area we can't help you with. Ask in the Uber. Condoms are also, I have this face mask, which is, that I put on every morning, like, well, not every morning, but whatever I remember, you know, when I'm traveling, like a hydration mask. Yeah. And when I'm done with it, it looks like a used condom.

So I always am like, oh, God, I don't want the, you know, like, when I'm in a hotel, I don't want the cleaning lady to think I just left a condom, like in the, so I always wrap it up in toilet paper. And I'm like, well, that's even more like a- And then it's even more suspicious. And I'm like, oh, God, and you can't, you can't flush them down. Like, I just think leaving condoms around is so gross. But a face mask is fine.

I know, but I almost have to just leave the face mask. Yeah, I just spread it off. She knows what this was used for. Look at the eye holes. Look at the eye holes. Take a picture, send it to her. This is me. Yeah, put it right on top of the wrapper.

Okay, what's the next question? Well, Caroline, I think just needs a pet talk. Please don't take any more questions about condoms in the future. Okay. I love this. This made my day. We don't have any more question about condoms. We do have a penis question.

That I can handle. This one is out. This is Caroline. She just, I think, needs a pep talk. But she says, dear Chelsea, I'm queer and in my mid-20s, straight presenting, living in Tennessee. I've never been in a relationship before. And let's just say I'm shit out of luck here in the South. I came here four years ago with my best friend, pursuing a life of adventure and getting away from my family.

After five years of living here, I need to move way to another state and actually find some love and more friends. I really would love to move to Chicago. My best friend is all for my solo adventure, and so are my other friends. She actually found her fiancé here and wants to stay in Tennessee another few years, but there's just one thing, my family. All they know is a small town life, and the idea of moving away again and alone sounds like the most ridiculous thing to them. And the fact that I'm single, even worse.

Ever received a TikTok at 7 a.m. about violence in other states saying, please don't move by yourself, or is that just me? I know wholeheartedly that my journey to fulfillment will soon begin. but I worry that I'm not accomplishing anything in their eyes. My question for you is, what's your advice for my pursuit of looking for love and finding myself in a new city without carrying the weight of my family's insecurities? Thank you, Caroline. Hi, Caroline.

Hi, hi, Chelsea. Hi, this is our special guest, Caitlin Palufo. She's here today. Hi, nice to meet you guys. Nice to meet you. First of all, the best decision you're ever going to make is to go to Chicago. You absolutely must go. Your family is not.

destiny, they are where you came from. That is not the end game. You're always how to have your family, but you cannot stay in a small town when you have bigger dreams and hopes and aspirations. You have to go to a big city to get a life going. You have to. And you will never regret moving to Chicago. I know. Even Catherine said our interview, like being young and gay is the perfect place to be in Chicago. Yeah. Yeah. That's the best part. Oh, I even forgot about the gay part. You're Right, you do present straight. Yes. Get to a city.

Get to a city and go live your best life. First of all, Chicago is one of the best cities. Like, that is where things are happening. It's super fun. And you're young and vibrant. And, like, staying close to your family and having them make you feel guilty about it is two negatives. Yeah. Like, you can visit your family.

You can fly to your family. And you can visit them all the fucking time. And they can visit you in Chicago. Yeah. See, that's the part. That's the part I need to tell them. It's not even my family, but like being in the South, when I tell them that I'm single without kids, it's like I'm on my deathbed.

So it's like it's just the most frustrating part. So yeah, I'm just writing it to meet some confidence. Yeah, listen, the biggest leaps of the biggest leaps of faith lead to the biggest wins in life. You have to trust yourself and you have to take a leap of faith. Like that's what you have to do is pull the trigger and be like, I am doing this. You can't hold me back. I will be back for every holiday. and hopefully you'll come visit me.

It's a, what, three-hour flight from where you are? Probably not even. At most, it's a three-hour flight. People do it all the time, and you need to go live your best life. This is the only life you've got. You better make it count. Yes, and you're young.

You're young. Like, do it while you're young, and your knees are still good, you know? Moving to a big city with bad knees, that's tough. But you've got good knees. You got a good attitude. Go where the guys are. Go where all the pride flags are.

Go get some puss. In Chicago, we have Andersonville. We have a whole neighborhood full of lesbians. It's wonderful. She's frozen. She's frozen. She froze when Catherine and when Kate told her to get on her knees. She froze.

No, she can't open her eyes. You have good knees. You know what? I think her phone might have died. This is what it looks like when someone's phone dies. Oh. That's so, what a departure? Like, what is a parting message with that expression?

Well, she got our message. Yeah. She got the message. For sure. You have a little Chicago accent. Do I? Oh, yeah. No, I'm from San Francisco.

Oh. Might have been in New York for like 18 years. But that has nothing to do with Chicago. I don't know. Maybe there's a weird meld that's going on. I sound like a little bit of both and it sounds like Chicago. Okay, Caroline, our parting words, since you're not here, are to go to Chicago, get on your knees, get on your knees. Get a dental dam.

Get a dental dam. Ask about STDs. And get some pus. Excellent. You have good. Knees is what I meant. The Hard Rock Bet Casino app is here, Ontario. And with a name like Hard Rock, you know you're in for an experience you can only get here.

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You never know who that devil is because he's wearing in disguise. Sometimes it's a police uniform. And you can get access to all episodes 100% ad-free with an I-heart, True Crime, Plus subscription exclusively on Apple Podcasts, available only to IHeart True Crime Plus subscribers. So don't wait. Head to Apple Podcasts, search for IHeart True Crime Plus, and subscribe today. Lisa, we should tell them about our new show. Oh my God, Lexi.

We have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi Youanu. We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa DiGulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references. occasionally different opinions, and at this point in my 50s, I've lived at all. I'm not going to get anyone fighting. That is wild.

I learned that about you today. Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste is my business, and I've always got something to say. If men were just honest about this, there would be so much more peace in the world. We're going to talk about dating, relationships, beauty, getting older, and a little wiser. We're best friends, but we don't always agree. Because you told us how accommodating you are. Obviously, I would do what I think I could do to fight to fight, but there's only so much

fight I can fight. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Liar. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

I don't really care. I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast. The True Crime Comedy Podcast. all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Each week I bring on incredible guests like Conan O'Brien, Iowa Debris, Lamorne Morris, and Nicole Byer. Ooh, I scammed them.

What? I can talk to you for an hour. You're a generational yapper like me. That's why I had to make yapping a job. And the scams run the gamut. I'm talking about scams from the 1800s all the way up to today. I also warn you and keep you safe against scammers. Call your grandparents.

Tell your parents to stop clicking on links, please. And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube. If there's a scam, I'm here to protect you. And I'm also here to laugh with you. So if you like fun, if you like comedy, and you like learning and protecting yourself from criminals, start listening to Scam Goddess on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, this is Kylie Breakman. Angel Geratana.

Jeremy Colhane, Patrick McDonald. And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists. on artist podcast. The Improvised Character Comedy Podcast where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. Join us for

a panel of wellness influencers. What I try to do is faux journal. I don't know. Have you guys heard of faux journaling? Yeah, it's reading. It's called reading. So we don't like to use that word anymore.

Okay. A panel of New Yorker cartoonists. Have you guys done Terry Gross's Peloton class? No! I've been dying too. I'm so sorry. I'm seeing a reading of Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes by Audra McDonald's at the Wonderland Bookstore on 14th.

That's crazy. I went to the Wonderland Bookstore yesterday and I heard Nora Jones do a reading of Zero Dark 30. No way. You have to come to the last bookstore though. Kim Cottrell is reading the guitar tabs of yesterday. A panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween sometimes. Does the Pope dress up? He winks on Halloween. He gets right up next to the microphone. I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes. each other. You never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween.

Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists on the IHeard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The World Cup is over, but if you caught the soccer bug and aren't sure what to do now, check out our podcast, Big Kick Energy. I'm Cameron Dicker, the kicker from the Los Angeles Chargers, most accurate kicker in NFL history, but I was raised on the soccer pitches of Shanghai. And I'm here with Timmy Tillman, L-A-F-C-Star, grew up in the academies of Jersey. and now under the bright lights of Major League Soccer. So, we know a little something about kicking balls.

Maybe you're new to the game, or you're ready to take your passion to the next level. Each week we'll tackle things like who's winning the Premier League this year? Playing like a number 10, do you know what that means? Then we go over to France. Ligon. Ligon? Oh, damn. He knows more.

He's better than it. What do you think is harder? Scoring a penalty kick or scoring a field goal? He's in the NFL and I'm like, just a big fact I do enough. That's crazy. Join us each week for a quick chat with your soccer-loving bros about the best sport in the world. Soccer. Just don't tell my coaches I said that. Listen to Big Kick Energy on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Hey, what's up, y'all? It's Questlove. And on the Questlove show, I've been sitting down with some really interesting people. And I've got two recent episodes you should check out. I caught up with my good friend Jojo to talk about her music, her career, and what she's been up to. Don't invite me to karaoke. I'm going to make it weird. Someone's going to try to sing, leave get out, or too little, too late, or baby, too. Oh, no. And I'm going to be like, okay, cool.

I also caught up with Wally 267 for a conversation that covered his story, his perspective, and plenty more. I don't even call it cheat day. That's a life day. I'm not doing nothing. Don't try to be slick and just go Sunday. Go Wednesday. This what you do. Sleep later.

Make a reservation for the rest of a later. Just chill. Listen to the music you want to listen to. Just enjoy it. It's going to be all right. is going to have you a wake up Wednesday and you're like, oh, and you're going to feel better. And those are just

two of the many recent episodes of the Questlove show. Listen to the Questlove show on the Iheart radio app, Apple podcast, wherever you get your podcast. Question today comes from Michelle and Steve. Michelle and Steve. Yes, it's

kind of a couple's counseling with Chelsea, but I wanted to give this one to Kate. It's his fault. It is his fault. Michelle is the one writing in, so she says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a longtime fan. I'm 60 years old, mother of two beautiful daughters who are out there doing great things in the world. My husband and I have been married for 33 years. We've always been pretty free-spirited, love nature kind of couple. We're relatively athletic and fit for our age. The issue is, my husband just cannot keep his clothes on. I mean he's naked all the time. Out in the backyard, he lays in the sun on the deck completely naked for hours every day, all nicely oiled up. I mean, he's naked. I mean, he's naked. He's naked. He lays in the sun on the deck completely naked, all nicely oiled up. And I'm like, why? Who's he doing this for? Certainly not for me. We have very cool neighbors who laugh about it.

They shared with me that they thought we were nudist. I said, not me, just him. But honestly, I don't think it's funny, and I don't think that they should have to try to be cool about it. Now I'm hearing that other neighbors are talking about it, calling my husband's Sasquatch because they saw him outside after dark one night filling the bird feeders butt naked. In the house, I make him sit on a towel on the sofa because I think it's disgusting to have a naked ass sitting on the sofa. he never has clothes on unless we're actually getting in the car to drive somewhere. And then he's shirtless until we arrive wherever we're going.

He'll put a shirt on to walk wherever we're going. And then as soon as we exit, he takes off his shirt before we're even in the car again. My kids remind me that when they were in high school, they knew not to come home without calling ahead if they had a friend with them because they didn't know if their dad would have clothes on. I also think it's affecting our sex life because, frankly, it's kind of a turn off to see him naked 24 hours a day. It's a little more fun to have some anticipation. I'd love to hear your take on this. Thank you, Michelle and Steve. Hi.

Hi. I didn't know if we were going to see that. Hi, Steve. This is our special guest, Caitlin Palufo. She's our guest today. I'm glad I have some backup. Okay. Steve, what?

I mean, when did this start? First off, thank you for wearing a shirt. And you're... I just say, why are you wearing a shirt? Special occasion. What? Steve, when did this begin? A long time ago.

And what is it? You just love it. You love to be naked. No. Yes. It's like he's allergic to clothes, honestly. You just don't like clothes. Do they itch or what's happening here? I don't see the point in the house.

You're just getting them all wrinkled and then you have to get them all washed again. And then, you know, it's like, what's the point? The kids are gone. And honestly, when we've met, I mean, like she said, we did some trips. We went to, you know, dead shows and reggae festivals. We traveled across, you know, from Bay Area to Arizona. And I have a 65 bus with the windows that opened in the front, safari windows.

And we just did our thing. Nude? Were you nude when you did that? Yes, we were. Yes, but it was more private because, well, my thing is when we, I, I don't do that anymore. But when we were young and we were doing it, it was like if we were out and people saw who I don't know, that was fine.

But now it's like our neighbors know and people are knowing about it. And that makes me really uncomfortable. I totally understand that. And Steve, I appreciate that you're even on this call. I know that you probably, it's probably who's hard to make this call and sit here on camera. So I'm going to be as gentle with you as possible. You're absolutely right about that. that reluctant participant here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You, I understand. I get it. It's just about you're living in a world that that's not normal or tradition. Like, you're not, it's not traditional. And I understand you're not vibing with that. But like, it's one thing inside your house, but you kind of have to split the difference because you don't want, you don't want to make your wife the person that you love that

you're spending your life with uncomfortable around her neighbors. your neighbors are just never going to get it. They're just not. You're asking for like something to, like, it just does come off as creepy to people who are not nudist. What you are is a nudist. And you need to be in a nudist colony. And unless that happens,

then you've got to at least split the difference and decide, okay, maybe she can work with you and you can be nude inside. But when you're outside, naked on the deck, that's kind of like if there's kids around, you know, people have grandchildren that are coming over. it's just not appropriate. I agree.

I agree. And after reading, she sent this to you when I was gone. And then I come back and then she goes, hey, guess what? So I read this. And when you read it, it comes across differently than how you live it, right? I do not. It's mostly, it's only in the spring and summer. It's not in the winter.

Can we just make like, can we have a compromise be made today in some way that like, Like a sarong or like a mummo situation? Something that's just going to be a little bit more palatable to your neighbors. And while I know it's like you probably don't give a shit what your neighbors think, your wife does. And you're in a marriage. I do. Okay. All right. Our neighbor texts me the other day and said her niece and nephew are going to be visiting.

So please some Mr. Sunbuns to keep his pants up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's kind of the time when you need to do it. That's all you have to do it. Like she can put the towels down, Michelle, right?

You can let him be naked inside if it's that important to him. You're obviously not an asshole. You should be able to like live your true self inside your house. But once you're outside of your house, you're not in your house anymore. And it's not private. The most part, when I'm on the deck, though, it's like, so we live in, we've got like a half acre. It's not a lot, but it's a lot for us. And it's, we're in the foothills.

And, uh, there's a little. There's a bit of space between the house. Sure. They're not lined up like all the same. But I told him, like, I can see two doors down. I can see what that neighbor's wearing in his backyard. So I'm pretty sure you can see what you're not wearing over here. I have a question first, Steve. Is it, do you feel like overstimulated and like clothes are kind of cloying? Is it like a sensory thing perhaps? It's a very confining. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if there is a way to. find something that's like either very, very soft or like I said, like a sarong or some sort of a mumu situation, something that's not as constrictive and cloying. Yeah, I thought like that yesterday. I was like, oh, I could wear a moo-mo.

Yeah. Basically, all he wears is always linen, linen shirts that are loose and linen shorts that like have a drawstring. So. Okay. Well, wait, wait, wait. That's, that's doable. You can get one of those like shmottas. That is like a long floor length like that a woman wear. But like, or a man living on a commune that is buttoned up. And then you just, when you go outside, just out of respect for the fact that you don't, you know, that you're out in the world. I know that your neighbors are a little far down the way, but you'd be surprised what you can see from other people.

And the last thing you want to be perceived as is like a weirdo or a creep, right? You know, that's not who. True. True. Right. You don't want that. And unless you want to build some weird shed in your backyard that prohibits anybody from seeing you. And that sounds a little even creepier.

what's already going on. Do you know what I mean? Right. But I'm a, like she said, I'm solar powered. Yeah. And it's just like vitamin D is like my, when I lay out, I'm just kind of like, it's almost like meditating. Okay.

It's kind of cute and it's kind of fun when it's private. But it's become a problem because it's, well, one, it's all the time. And two, you know, because now that we're empty nesters, we don't have to worry about the kids coming home. So it's just all the time in the house. and then it's outside. And people know, people are talking. Neighbors, you know, a few different neighbors are talking about it.

Yeah, that's not fun. And that's not fair. That's not fair to Michelle. But maybe there is some sort of like contraption you can just build in your backyard so that you can be out. And it's like, what I'm picturing is. You want a barrel with two straps. It's like a half a log cabin that's shaped like a half a half a, like an octagon that covers anyone

from seeing you, but you can still be in the sun and front. free. It's like a shield. Yeah, I hear what you're saying. He used to say, when the kids were home, he used to say, oh, we just have to turn the app on, like the blur out app and then you won't see the parts you don't want to see. We don't have such an app. There's no fences.

Oh, no. I was kind of assuming there was a fence. Oh, I thought there was fences and it was like a Wilson situation. Can we build a fence? No, there's no fence. Because we're like in the foothills and they don't allow fences because of the wildlife came wrong. So Steve, you've got to put on some clothes. Steve, all you need is a little, all you need is a little sarong and just to wrap yourself up like a lady does when she goes to the beach.

That's all you need to do. Yeah. But just like at the waist, you can be topless, I guess. If that's where we're at. But just like get one of those little and have a couple of them in linen and silk. Figure out what your favorite. fabric is and then you can start wearing that. That's a lot less offensive than a nude man. I agree. Yes. Yay. You found a compromise. I tried to tell, I was saying, like I said,

when you read it, and then you go, oh, okay, I get it. Especially if she wants to bang you, you know? Yeah, that's right. You got to keep it hot. Okay. You got to keep it hot. I'm going to hold her to that. Yeah, you can. That's what a compromise is. Now, yeah. Now, Michelle, you have to agree if he follows the rules, then whatever system you want to be on for sexual activity, then you tell him. I agree. Yeah. Okay. And by the way, Steve, that is really what women, we need a little bit left to the imagination.

Just as an FYI to men, like, nudity on men is a lot different than women being naked. Like, we're not dying to see naked guys. No. I know guys love naked women, but it's just not the same thing for us, especially when you've been married for, obviously you guys have been married for, obviously you guys have been together for a long time if you have grown children. But great sport for doing this call, Steve. Thank you for calling in.

One thing, though, what about when we're skiing? That all bets are off. That was a good one, Steve. Good job. Cute. I hope you guys have sex today. Yeah. Think of us.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Bye, guys. Bye. Bye. Oh my God. It reminded me of a moment in your special where you talk about using a vibrator on the first date. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, because I have a girlfriend who the first time she had sex with her, not her husband, her boyfriend, she used a vibrator and they had sex from behind. And I was like, what? Yeah, that sounds great. Don't look at me. What kind of first sex is that to turn, get it from behind and use a vibrator? I'm like, yeah, what are you trying to make eye contact with a stranger? A vibrator doesn't come out until later.

No, no, no, no. Whip it out, let them know. Make a mark. You want the vibrator out? Right away. You want the vibrator out. But also, what's been great, that joke, now they expect it. Now they're like, where's the vibrator?

I'm like, hell yeah. You don't use a vibrator? Not in the beginning. They need to please me. They do. But then I'll just have. He used a vibrator alone, but not with someone. Not in the beginning.

No, I'll whip it out. If I can, I'll give them a shot. I'll give them a first 10. And if it's not happening, then I'd be like, how do you feel about it? And then they go, yeah, they get really excited. They're like, yeah, let's do it. Well, of course they get excited because it's less work for them. Exactly.

They're like, hey, can I get an assist? Everybody leaves happy. That's what we want. We want a slam dunk all around. Oh, my friend told me that. And I remember being like, what are you talking about? And she's like, that's exactly how we have sex from behind. And I get the fiber.

And that's the only way we do it. I'm like, you've never. The only way is crazy. I'm like, you've never had him on top of you. And she's like, no. Oh, my God, that's wild. No, I'll flip. I'll flip me around every once in a while.

Why do you feel about when guys flip you around and they want you to get on top right away? I'm fine with it. You're fine with that. I'm fine with it. I'm fine with it. I'm a creep. I want to see it all. Yes.

Every nook and cranny. You want to show my. I want to show my body off. Let's get this fucking show on the road. Yeah. Look at my abs and my weird nipples. All right. For more of Caitlin Palufo,

first of all, you can see her on tour. She's on tour. You can go to her Instagram or your website. Yeah, at Caitlin Palufo. And you can go to YouTube to watch her special,

which is called Presuto Rose. And it's hilarious. If you haven't seen it already, go and watch it. You're very nice. So fun. Thank you for having me. This was a dream come true.

I'll tell you what. If you want advice from Chelsea, write in to Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail.com. Dear Chelsea is a production of IHeartMedia. Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler and find Catherine on TikTok at Flashcadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law. Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets to see Chelsea

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