Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Now Hang On a Second with Brooke Shields

Episode Date: January 12, 2023

Chelsea is joined by none other than Brooke Shields this week, to discuss the ways in which a long relationship changes over time, why not having kids can be a good thing, and forever choosing to be a hustler.  Then: A mom misses her dog who passed away, but worries about signing up for the same hurt with a new pup.  And a river-rafting trip turns tearful when a girlfriend’s in-laws reveal all the resentments they’ve been harboring against her - for years. * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Nick Stumpf Produced by Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Bell. Connection is everything. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. You know, I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy.

Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi there, everybody. What's going on? Hi, Chelsea. What's happening?

How's it going? Really good, actually. Our little puppy is growing up. He is a month older and, you know, getting potty trained, getting there, getting there. Wendell Beignet is a month older. Oh, poor Wendell Beignet. What's going to happen to Wendell's life? He's going to get chubby like a pug should.

He's going to come out of the closet very soon. Oh, yes. Yes, he's definitely gay, for sure. He for sure is with a name like that. Well, Chelsea, I have a quick follow-up for you. This is from Rachel. She called in on our Mike Birbiglia episode, and she was the one who was getting married, and her brother-in-law was not letting her sister's kids come to the wedding.

Hi, Catherine and Chelsea. I'm so sorry about just now replying. I was waiting and hoping that something would possibly change, but unfortunately, that did not happen. My niece and nephew will sadly not be a part of my wedding. We're about 40 days from the big day, and after trying to reach out to my ex-brother-in-law again, we've just accepted the situation as it is. It's been about eight months since he and I have spoken, and things are so messy that he and my sister still have to communicate through a co-parenting app for documentation and legal purposes.

It's apparent that he's hurting deep down, and I just hope he can get some help and heal one day. On the bright side, my sister seems happier than ever nowadays. She's thriving in her career as an elementary school principal, and she's been able to really focus on herself for the first time in a while. So we've taken your advice and decided to have a private, quote, pretend wedding in my parents' backyard the week before our wedding. That way, my niece and nephew can be our flower girl and ring bearer and have all the attention and happiness directed toward them. Truthfully, I just want them to be okay and not have their childhood stripped of their innocence. Chelsea and Catherine, you two are awesome. Thank you for keeping us all laughing during some shitty situations.

Love, Rachel. P.S. I'll be sure to send a picture of the three of us at our backyard wedding. Stay tuned. Oh, that's cute. Nice solution. That's good. Yeah. That's all good vibes.

Too bad about the brother, but whatever. It is. And sometimes we just have to let other people do what they're going to do and make the best of a situation. And I'm really happy that she's choosing to do that. We've got an amazing guest today, Chelsea. Yeah, we do. Actually, we just worked together, sort of, but not really.

We both did Kim Kardashian's. Skims campaign, bra campaign. And we both, I noticed, used the same hairdresser. Oh. Hairdresser. That's like an outdated term. But anyway, hairstylist Renato, this guy Renato. And her hair looked so badass during the campaign or for the photos, when we got all the photos. I was like, I thought my hair looked good. And then I saw Brooke Shields' hair and I was like, whoa, wait. But then I realized she's Brooke Shields. Yes, that's who our guest is today, Brooke Shields. Yeah, she's known for her luscious hair. Oh, she's known for her lusciousness. Yes,

absolutely. She is an actress, model, CEO, and host of the Now What podcast. Please welcome Brooke Shields. Hi, Brooke. Hi. Hi, how are you? I'm good. How are you? How are you feeling? Oh my God, better, but I still, my throat still has a pickle, a tickle pickle. I guess it must be post-nasal drip, but I'm lying in bed and I go like this 50,000 times. I'm glad I'm single at this time in my life because I don't know who would want to have sex with me. All I go is like this. Chris does that. My husband Chris does that. It drives me insane. I know, right? Insane because it's neither nor. It's not a great cough and it's not really, it's something else. Commit to one or the other. On the subject of your husband, Chris, actually, good place to

start for us because I knew Chris years ago, which I think I told you about. I used to wait tables at a place called Roasty on Montana. And Chris was a young writer who would come in and he was a really nice guy. And I think he had some friends that he would come in with other writer guys. Yeah. And he would come in and that's how I knew him. And then he went off and married you. And then I never saw him again. Well, see, it was a natural progression. Yeah, exactly. Men who stopped speaking to me completely. Oh, he said to say hi, by the way. Oh, tell him I say hi back, please.

I will. I will. I will. I will. But you guys have had such a long, successful relationship, marriage, partnership. I was wondering if you could speak to that and tell us a little bit about how you feel about your side of the street in your relationship, how you feel like you've grown as a woman within your relationship with having a family and everything because these are things I can't really relate to so I'm so curious I uh I'm his first marriage or he likes to say I'm her current marriage but I I had a marriage before and I think that that was probably one a really great thing because I learned really what I didn't want in a relationship maybe I should have learned it without having to actually

go through the marriage. But I think that it's, first of all, it's a lot is attributable to him because he's a very solid person. He doesn't get threatened easily by any of, any of, but I come with a lot. You know, I come with a lot. It's hard. It's hard. I, not only my history, but because I'm recognized and because the world feels like they own me. I think that, you know, I come with a lot so he's very very patient and one of the things that I think what he was willing to do is adapt to certain things that I have asked him for instance when we first met it was always funny how he would make fun of me and he made fun of me like he would just I'm I do really geeky stupid things and like I'm that kid that always had different color highlighters and I'm organizing

and I like underlining. And, you know, I just, I do things that are kind of geeky and, and he used to make fun of me or the fact that I couldn't cook. And it was cute in the beginning because it was, it felt really personal, but it was never mean, but they were little things. And as, you know, like 10 years into the relationship, I said to him, you know what, I'm growing as a person and I'm, I don't want to self-deprecate as much as I used to in the same way and for the same reasons. And you kind of knocking me down a couple of pegs doesn't feel cute anymore to me. And I know it sounds like a bait and switch. And I know I'm changing the terms here, but we all have to adapt. And you've mentioned accountability when we were talking one time.

And I think that there is accountability to, you're not trying to change the other person, but there are certain things that have to become a compromise and you have to be able to express what you need, and also be able to change in little ways that do make a huge difference to your partner. And that type of back and forth and exchange has been just really healthy for us. Wow. Yeah. Like he'll, if I start a sentence with to him, I don't think you realize how much I have on my plate or something like that. He cannot stand it because it underestimates how much he really does understand about me and my life. And so he'll, he'll get prickly with something like that. So

I have to keep in mind that that's not a kind, that's not a rhetoric that he, it just makes him bristle. And he, in a second, he's got his ire up, you know? So I think that the willingness to be, you know, people say, oh, friendship. And so first of all, laughter is just key. I mean, he just makes me laugh. And that's been a big part of our relationship. He is such a good father and he puts in the time and that makes being a mother so much more palatable in, in many ways for me, even though I've always wanted to have kids, it's really not easy. And it's a full-time, it's just forever. And then some, that's forever. And then some, it's never over. No. And then sometimes loving that much is just a pain in the ass. It's just, you're just like,

why am I doing this to myself? Yeah. I could imagine. It's the kind of worry that you're just like, God, did I want to feel this horrible? It's weird. I mean, I had that conversation with a really good friend of mine and she's sort of belaboring the fact that she's not having children and she never wanted them. And then the clock got to a certain place and then it became difficult and then it became oh no what am I missing out on and I said you know don't lose sight of how you can get love from her husband's grandchildren or how you know and also keep in mind that she never was motivated to have you do it wasn't a part of of her the way it was a part of me I I say that in my stand-up special my new stand-up special I talk about like

if you're on the fence at all about becoming a mother then don't become a mother like if you're questioning it if you're not 150 in in it and saying like this is what i want i can't live without it then you shouldn't have a baby because it is that kind of commitment you can't be like well i guess i'm getting older and i may as well have one you know tell your friends to call me i'll shake her out well it's also true that you know a i don't i respect the way you talk about it because not everybody should want to have children if they don't want to they shouldn't be shamed into it. And it's a, you know, it is also, it's the kind of thing that there's a lot to it. And, you know, it's not going to fix a relationship. I hear couples talk about, you know,

their marriage is having trouble and they think a baby is going to fix it. Trust me. No, it's not. Whatever your problems are become magnified, right? When you have babies. Absolutely. And then the blame starts and you're just like, this is just becoming degraded. now what okay because I know you have you've spoken a lot and written a lot about your relationship and the difficulties with your relationship with your own mother and I so I think for your I'm so curious about when you became a mother I mean you must have had such an inner dialogue going on for fear of replicating any of the stuff that was so painful or hurtful to you. The weirdest thing is I'd done so much work on myself in therapy for decades that I focused

on the things that I want to replicate rather than just the things I didn't want to replicate because I had done so much work. And so to compare myself in any way, in a negative way, to a woman who really was so broken and couldn't do the work on herself or for herself, And, you know, she's not only just alcoholic, I don't think she could ever get through step seven or whatever the amends one is. But I think that her humor was so important. Her willingness to have fun with me, her belief that I should always have someone my own age around me, even within this industry, her very frank way of discussing anything. You know, she was ballsy and that really protected me. And so I try to remember those things and I try to be careful about my drinking because I know that that is in my blood. i'm surprised at how how much freedom emotionally i give my kids you know how i i never thought that talking to them about sex and talking to i thought because my mother never talked to me about anything you just were told don't do it you'll burn in hell and then i became sort of known

for being a virgin. We talk about everything together and I have no judgment and I'm shocked at myself. You know, I mean, we talk about it all and I didn't think that I'd be comfortable with it on that level. Yeah. I can see what you mean by that. I mean, I'm just thinking about my nieces and nephews and I'm like, yeah, I guess I would be the closest to nonjudgmental, but I'm still, they're like my little babies. And I'm like, I can't even think about the things that they might be up to getting up to right now. It's crazy. It's just so crazy. And, but I, you know, I always say, it's just, it's important that you have an ally within these, these times in your life, because you're going to need it. And who better than your mom in my case with her,

because I'm always going to be here for whatever it is. I'm like, but don't be an idiot. Do either of your girls remind you of your mom? Oh, that's a great question. There are some times when my older daughter will do something that is just so defiant. Like she's got balls, my daughter. And you think that I would see my mom do that. Or she would do things just to be the first one dancing on the table or something like that. So there are some, right?

I'm kind of ballsy. And her sense of humor, my mom's sense of humor does really sort of breathe through Rowan in particular. Yeah, that's cool. That must be really like meaningful to see. It is because I'll say things that my mother would have said that just can sound borderline. Like, you know, when a dog is outside the deli or something and they're looking inside to see where their master is, like their masters, like they just can't, they can only look at

their master or whatever. My mother used to walk by the dogs and go, she's never coming back, which is a sick joke. It's a sick joke. And my mom was full of sick jokes like that. And so and I would like try them out on Rowan. And she was like, Mom, that's so sick, but it's so fucking funny. that's cute well i think that's a really beautiful sentiment you know taking the best out of a relationship is what we should all be doing out of our difficult relationships out of our beautiful relationships out of our best relationships but taking the best things about that and trying to replicate those instead of focusing on the things that you don't want to replicate focusing on the things that you do the minute you start going down the road of the things you don't want, or the things that are bad, you're now demonizing this person even more,

especially if they're not alive, right? And then you're not even giving yourself a chance to sort of not live with rose colored glasses about who they were, but to also sort of say, people are complex. And I'm going to try to shift this and start with a positive rather than, you know, making myself terrified that I'm, you know, things, I'm my own person, too, you know, And I think that that's important for people to remember is that they are, they can be their own people. Right. Exactly.

Okay. So we are going to take a quick break and then we are going to come back and get to some callers who need some life advice, Brooke. We're going to dish it out and give real people advice on what to do in situations. Catherine, are we ready to take a quick break? I think we're ready to take a quick. Yes. Oh my God.

We're taking a break and we'll be right back. behind every night spent making the kids lunches there's a lot of suspense will they finally eat the veggies will the pesto survive the first bite will the lunchbox come home empty half full or come home at all and will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers get bell pure fiber internet with crave netflix and disney plus from 94 a month price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything.

When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a

doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them they're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.

I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations,

or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network.

Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can you help me shape this yeah how about we flip it on his head right how about we flip the script okay what is the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come

to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way

will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode but He's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. And we're back. Well, you know what? I'm going to switch up the order that I intended these in

because we've already been talking about dogs and I see you have, it's Pepper, right? You have Pepper there with you. She's clearly bored because she just got up and left now. Aren't dogs all bored all the time? Isn't that why they're sleeping all of the time? At least my dogs are sleeping all of the time. I feel like cats are more bored than dogs. I think dogs, I don't know, mine is so neurotic

and insecure. My dogs are like cats. I have two cat dogs. Wow. And I have a neurotic separation anxiety dog. Is he a poodle mix? She's a Portuguese water dog. I mean, those are nice dogs. What happens when you have a dog in the city? Isn't that just a fucking huge pain in the ass, Brooke, to have to go outside into the city every time they need to go out? So yeah, it can be, but you know, you get your dog people in town and we are able to leave the city in the summer and have the best of both worlds. I mean, what's hard is making sure your dog can tell you when they have to go to the bathroom, which like I now know her look, obviously, when she's got to go, but she's not clear. Like she doesn't go to the door and like paw the door. So there've been many a package left for us. Yes. We trained our little pug Mimsy using bells. So she if she has to go out, she just goes and rings the bell. I mean, we take her out at regular intervals anyway, but it's it's a lifesaver. It's a carpet saver. Yeah, well, it's too late for us. Thanks for the hot tip. Now. I mean, we can't

train these dogs to ring doorbells. Sorry, guys. I can't learn. Okay, well, and I actually just got a new puppy, but I actually picked this question for you weeks ago. So this question comes from Lindsay. Lindsay says, Dear Chelsea, should we get a new dog? It's been over four years since our dog passed away. She felt like a soulmate to me, and we went through so many life events together. I loved her in a way that makes my heart burst even today. Her passing was tragic and took years to get through. I feel her presence all the time, and I miss her every day. In the last year, I've been finding myself wanting the physical presence of a dog again. However, I'm terrified of not feeling that same love for a new dog, while also being

terrified that I'll feel that strong feeling again, which ultimately means I'll feel terrible loss again. We travel often, have two senior cats, and a six-year-old. Our lives are busy, so I also wonder if maybe the timing isn't right to add a dog to our family. How will I know when the time is right? How do I get past the fear? Lindsay.

Just get a fucking dog, Lindsay. I mean, this is not a heart problem at all. Go get a dog. You know what? And don't compare that dog all the time to your deceased little love bug. Because it took me a while, too. And I was like, I'm not going to love this dog as much. And then I was resistant.

And poor dog didn't know the difference. She didn't know my other dog, you know. I just think get a dog. And it's good for a little girl to grow up with a dog. I mean, you know, you're going to end up doing all the work, obviously. But also, once you get a new dog, your love transfers. You don't have any choice but to love and focus on that dog that you're not going to be comparing it to your other dog even.

Like, I've had so many dogs, and every time, you just have a different kind of love for them. You're like, oh, my God, this is my number one now. It actually helps you get over the loss of the other one, too. Actually, too. And if you have just one kid, I mean, think about if you had another daughter. Would you only love the six-year-old more than the baby? I doubt it.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So you just it's like growing another heart. Yeah. So buck up and just go get that dog. Okay. I think so. Lindsay, get the dog. Well, that was easy. That was probably the easiest question we've ever gotten. So. Oh, boy. Okay. Well, our next question comes from Jesse. She's a caller. She says, Dear Chelsea, my boyfriend and I recently went on a camping trip with his whole family, mom, dad, sister, and his nephew. My nine-year-old son and our dog also joined us. Three days in, we had reservations to go whitewater rafting with my boyfriend's sister, her son, my son, and my boyfriend. The beginning of the river was amazing. We were all laughing,

screaming, and having the best time. Shortly into it, I decided to move back a seat to sit next to my boyfriend. His sister is an aggressive type A and promptly turns around to tell me to move back to my original seat i told her it should be fine because i'm still paddling in the same area i was before she continued to tell me no i need to move back while raising her voice i told her not to talk to me like that and all hell broke loose uh-oh rut row she used this moment to stand up point her finger in my face while telling me all the things she's always hated about me since day one she concluded it by saying and i'm not the only one who feels this way i immediately broke down and cried the rest of the two-hour trip down the river. We packed up our camp and drove back

home as soon as we got back to the campsite. His mom and dad sided with his sister and also doubled down on all the resentments they have had toward me for the four years we've been together. Nothing they've said makes any sense to me, and I honestly feel broken, sad, and confused. I lost my dad to COVID in 2020 and have considered his family my family. I can feel the energy shift in my relationship with my boyfriend, and I truly don't know where to go from here. Please help, Jessie. Oh, no, Jessie. Hi, Jessie. Hi, Jessie. Hey. This is our special guest. Brooke Shields is here today. Hi, Brooke. Hi. So nice to see y'all. I mean, first of all, raft trips are not easy. They're challenging, and they bring out a lot in people. I think that was one of the

issues for sure. What did you, how did your, have you spoken at length to your boyfriend about all of this? We actually both started seeing a therapist. We both see the same therapist now, which is convenient. So on Sundays, basically he does him at 10 AM and me at 11 AM. And we're both kind of talking it out with our therapist. Cool. So, I mean, we're just, we're trying to get through it. It's just, it was a lot and he's not really sure where to go from here either. Like what what is he saying? Like how does he feel? I mean, what does he agree with his family? Did he know that they felt this way? He he's a different person with them than he is with me. He's very quiet around them

He's very doesn't really speak his mind. But when he's with me, he's like that was obviously crazy, you know, and basically, I don't want to surround myself with somebody that's really negative and That just brings that energy around so he doesn't really agree with it at all. Well, usually though, but there's also a part in a relationship where to a certain extent, your partner has to be able to stick up for you in some way and it can be done in a loving way, but you are his choice. His family, he was, didn't have a choice about, you know, is he older or younger than the sister? He's younger. She's actually my age and he's three years younger than me. And what's her life situation? She's a single

mom, she's always had that aggressive side, a little just abrasive. I think it's kind of like a guard she has up to protect herself, if that makes sense, because she's kind of always been on her own and she does take care of her son by herself. So it's just her and him. What's interesting about that is I feel like there's some jealousy and projection, but also when anybody says, and I'm not the only one that feels that way, that's sort of a cop-out because they're not owning their vitriol. You know, they're sort of pawning it off on someone. Yeah, I hate that. I hate that when people use that in fights. Oh my God, it was so hurtful. That was the part for me. Yeah, I immediately started crying.

And so unfair, by the way, to the rest of his family also, because, you know, sometimes that can be an opening for the rest of his family talking to them and sort of saying, is this true? Do you have a problem with me that I don't know about? Because I love your brother. I love your son can we talk about this just because to hear it like that and it being such an outburst there has to be something else either going on i mean i would save her to last but i don't know that's so funny you say that because we had this conversation yesterday and i'm like you know i feel like this was a obviously a projection of something but this might have something to do with her and his relationship oh you know maybe that's what made her because there wasn't anything that

led up to that other than me changing seats on the raft that made her so angry. Yeah. Is there another sister? Is it just the two of them? It's just the two of them. Yeah. Well, you're invading her space. And, you know, yeah, something that popped up for me reading that, imagining myself, like if I were the sister blowing up at you is potentially she had some anxiety about the whitewater rafting and you moving it like brought out this other stuff. But she's also clearly been harboring resentments and i'm so bummed out that this happened to you but i'm also sorry this happened in front of your son like any adult that was one of the main issues for me was it happened in front of my son i couldn't knock her teeth out you know i couldn't i couldn't scream at her i

just went in the other direction but that's okay because you don't want to scream and yell because that's a loss of control her screaming at you in the middle of a whitewater rafting trip is like a complete loss of control so if any like that's on her yeah there's a million ways to have a rational conversation when you have issues with somebody flipping out in the middle of a trip is a loss of control that you need to apologize for that's where accountability comes in you have to go god that was really inappropriate especially in front of your kid yeah and also if you don't have the guts to tell me personally you need an audience what I don't know what that says about her you know I think I think she's she's obviously triggered and maybe sounds like she's jealous

of whatever she thinks you have, including her brother or angry just at her own circumstances. So what were the complaints that she had about you? What did she say? Oh, my God, they were so ridiculous. One of the main ones because I didn't hear them from her. The only thing on the trip that I heard was that I keep bringing up their childhood and she doesn't like that. I don't know. I like to get really deep when I talk to people. It's almost to a fault, like I immediately start talking about therapy, you know, everybody needs therapy, therapy is great. And I live in South Alabama, I live in a small southern town. But the people around here just aren't that way, you know, and whenever I talk to them about it, I can see they

get uncomfortable. But I almost take that as an opening to keep going and like helping them just be happier and live happier lives. Almost, you know, we don't have to worry about this other shit we can be on a happy path if we want to but i think maybe they did see me as a threat i don't know maybe they saw me that's what our therapist is saying that like i caused a disruption in their family unit which is no fault of yours it's not a fault of yours i'm just dating this guy i don't know it's not a fault of yours at all i mean i also think holding a mirror up to people you know they get really threatened if they don't have the guts to do that kind of self-exploration, you know, and admit things that, you know,

maybe aren't the best about them, but this is not your fault. I mean, God, I just, I want him to come to your aid. But I don't want it to be my decision. You know, we had this conversation yesterday. I'm like, well, I was, what I would love for you to do is to do this, you know, to go over there and stand up for yourself and say, this is who I am. And, and we're not mad about any of the complaints. His mom is the one who came over and kind of started using this opportunity to tell me about things that have made her angry over the years

about me. And one of them was that I didn't help do dishes on Thanksgiving two years ago. And on my side, I'm like, well, all you had to do was ask and I'll do the dishes, you know, but also I don't really pick up after myself when I'm invited to Thanksgiving dinner. You know, it's Like this was your house, you know, this is your stuff. And, but all you have to do is ask. But it was really petty stuff like that. Like I didn't help pick up dishes at Thanksgiving. I didn't help bring bags over to the campsite.

I didn't help them unload the stuff from their, from their car to their tent, just things like that and how they don't think I treat their son right. But. Well, listen, all of these examples you are giving are reasonable things for someone. listen when i go to somebody's house i don't know how to do dishes but i always clean up after myself whether it's someone else's house or not that's just kind of like a nice thing to do so yeah the things that they're saying whatever it doesn't matter whether they're right or you're wrong it's just the matter of how you're having the conversation right if they have resentments

and like they shouldn't have to ask you to come and help with the dishes as a guest you should try and help and then they either say no or thank you you know what i mean no you sit down or thank you you know there's there's a certain like measure of manners that you should impart when especially when you're at your boyfriend's parents house just out of decency right right so all of these things it's it's like okay that's a good point that's a bad point it doesn't matter it's just a matter of the tenor of the conversation because they've they've clearly painted you as this person that doesn't help out wherever you go camping over to thanksgiving they think you're selfish and that i would imagine that you don't treat your boyfriend with respect in their eyes

that's what they're thinking. Right. It's funny. The dishes thing is a funny thing because my daughter just recently said to me, she said, mom, I'm amazed at how badly behaved a lot of young people are. She said, whenever we're at dinner at someone else's house, she was like, mom, my sister and I are always the first up to go help with the dishes. And it's either, oh my God, thank you so much. Or no, no, no, honey, sit down. Like, you know, but it's that little gesture. There are little things that go a long way, but these things feel that there's something deeper, that they're using these petty things to say, oh, she's a princess, she doesn't want to help with anything. You're obviously not that, but it feels like there's something deeper, you know, you're taking her son away, are you his first real relationship? You know, you're the other woman with regards to the sister.

Whenever these things happen. It's always about That person the person doling out the person doing that is the person with the issue for sure Yeah, and that's hard for you to say But it's also important to say to take accountability when it's when you don't even feel like you've done anything wrong You know what? I mean to be a bigger person in this larger conversation that you're having about your relationship I think it's really important for you to consider everything that they're saying And whether or not you think you're wrong or right doesn't matter, right? it's just about the actual tenor of the conversation because if you come back at them

calmly in a month or so or whatever and say hey listen i've thought a lot about everything you guys said and i want to take some accountability and responsibility for my end of the thing and i will definitely contribute more and this and that but i also you also need something in return for that too so when you're going to therapy with you and your boyfriend like when you say your boyfriend doesn't know how to move on from this you've been together for four years are you contemplating splitting up over this? It was actually, it was a thought just because I felt like I was coming between him and his family. But isn't that a defensive thought though? Is that a real thought or a defensive? Yeah, it was totally an insecurity. It was fully based off of he's

going to choose them. So I better hurry up and end this. So I was just, this whole thing just made me really uncomfortable. Like the face-to-face confrontation kind of scared me. And I'm like, Well, my son is traumatized, and I've tried to have open conversations with him just so he's not traumatized. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode 8 before you're done slicing the cucumbers?

Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month, price guaranteed for two years on Internet with a two-year term and auto-pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.

I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. but these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club,

part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table.

It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network.

Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this? How about we flip it on its head? How about we flip the script? What if the surprise woman, who actually you think is the straight man, is actually the one who's acting weird?

weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that it seems like if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity yeah ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my

life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode but he's just so busy listen to hollywood handbook on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts do you think sitting down and having a face-to-face conversation with his parents would be beneficial i think that you need to i think yes i think you're on the defense and you have every i understand why but i think you need to like lower your defenses and come from a place of understanding and love because they're looking at you as a threat and a loss so like you have to be bigger than that and you have to go okay these people

are scared that they're going to lose their son they found a bunch of things they don't like about me let me make this easier for everybody you know what I mean and you be the bigger person who cares how they behaved who cares how they acted you can actually make a like a blueprint for them moving forward on how you're all going to communicate together. So it is a big opportunity for you to be a bigger person and to actually come from your heart, not being defensive, not trying to get rid of him before he gets rid of you or get rid of him before his family gets rid of you, because that's not really anything. Then you might just be losing somebody that's supposed to be in your life. If you put the effort forth coming from a place of love and then it doesn't

work out, then you have no regrets and you have nothing to be ashamed about, nothing at all to be ashamed about. And the most disarming thing is coming at people with love. Because I always say to my daughters, tug of war only works if both people are pulling. And it's so disarming to sort of say, all right, I'm going to own my part in this. But when you these conversations, I've learned not to say, you made me feel like this, you did this. I say, when you said that, all of this insecurity came up in me. And I'm so sorry if I haven't, I didn't know that was the proper, I didn't know that's what you wanted. And I'll always, you know, and it's once you give them the littlest thing, like, you know, I'd love to help you in the kitchen. I didn't, I didn't think

whatever the reason is, then you're, you've lowered the frenetic, like you said, the tenor of the whole communication. And then you can say, you know, I'm not trying to steal your son. I love this family or whatever you have to say, but I do think that once you come at it from a place, like Chelsea said, of love, nobody can fight against that. There's nothing to fight against. Now, they may not be the kind of arrived people emotionally that will be able to handle it. You kind of have to be ready for that too. And then you're like, look, I'm not trying to fight with you I'm trying to understand because I felt hurt and I felt embarrassed in front of my son yeah and this is an important moment you know we were on a vacation that's a very intimate thing

and I don't want that to be the memory from this can we move through this and can we have an open conversation so that we can all own this and own our truth without hurting each other yeah it's such a good perspective yeah yeah it's the harder thing to do it's the high road you know oh yeah but it's so admirable and it's so freeing because like chelsea said then there's zero regret and also there's no defensive like you know if she's defensive if the sister's defensive if the mother's defensive you don't match that defensiveness the only way to diffuse that is to have no reaction to that right so if someone's screaming at you and you're not screaming back at them and you're just looking at them then where do they go but the that situation just diffuses it has to because

you can't yell alone so like that's where i would say to a you know to go to mentally when you have this conversation and should be in person and it should be with the whole family because they owe you that for putting you in that situation in the first place you know what i mean and also i think that he obviously these are two very strong women in his life was that his dad there mom and dad weren't on the raft with us. They were back at the campsite. Oh, okay. But yeah, he was there, so to speak. I wonder if that's the dynamic that has been set since he was a little boy. You know, you've got these two demonstrative women that he always is silenced or his masculinity is not, you know, important or he watches how his mother treats his dad or whatever that is. Like that's

the stuff that's coming up and hopefully will be dealt with in therapy. But what's really hard to do is to put him also in a position like saying, why didn't you stick up for me? That's also a defensive, you know, that's also very difficult because if he doesn't know how to stick up for himself and probably never did as a child or with these women, it doesn't matter how much he loves you. It's going to, he doesn't have the tools yet. He hasn't learned how to stick up for yourself, but with love. And remember if that's his blueprint for women, like you're also that woman in his life another strong willed powerful woman so remember that when you're dealing with him because you want to have your own dynamic with him so that there's also value in dissecting

that in therapy with alone and with each other oh my gosh he's never really uncovered any truths about his past until recently so while i'm like repairing from what happened on the camping trip he's repairing from all these years of trauma and from his childhood, unlearning things that he learned as a kid. Yeah, wow. That kind of patience is huge. And, you know, I've found in my relationships that I'm always better off if I somehow give them the space to have whatever without being the one that says, you have to do this and I want this. Because you can do all that by the way, the fact that he's going to therapy with you is huge. Huge. Yeah, it is huge. Oh, yeah. And I think that that's where you guys can heal. You know, I think in that together,

and that's just yours. That's nothing. That's not his family. Yeah, yeah. We did make the decision this year. I was going to ask you. So my birthday is the day after Christmas. His birthday is on the 30th. And every year on Christmas Eve, we go to his uncle's house for this big Christmas Eve thing, his sister and his nephew go and his mom and dad and just kind of an intimate Christmas Eve thing. We made the decision not to go just because his sister's going to be there. It was hard, but we made the decision. So I was listening to him one day, we were on our lunch break, and he got emotional talking about not going to Christmas Eve. So I'm like, I'm going to throw a surprise party for him. I've got to do something for him. I've got to repair

this he's upset so I texted his mom and I said I'd love to throw a surprise party on the 30th on his birthday I'd love for you guys to be there if you could bring his nephew and if you could reach out to the his uncles as well to come I would love that and they said what his mom's response was this puts us in an uncomfortable position because they wouldn't want to bring the son without his mom they're basically his sister and I understand that for sure but but now I'm like well since I was shot down that was kind of embarrassing because I've put myself out there but you're being defensive again you're being defensive yeah but also you put yourself out there in a way that's very hard because what that is that's almost like you're doubling down

yes by going oh yeah well I'm gonna throw this party for him that's not and then but putting them in a position where they're not going to invite their own daughter. So that's not correct what you did. Okay. I'm going to be very honest with you, obviously, because I can't be anything else, but I think you are really coming from a place where you have to adjust a little bit now too. These people definitely have adjustments to make, but you need to adjust because you're putting them in a position where they have to leave out their daughter for their son's birthday party. Think about that. That's not cool for you to do to a family. And that is a disruption to a family. And if the most generous thing you can do is send his mother a text back

and say, you know what? Okay. I understand that this puts you in a difficult position. He's very upset about missing Christmas Eve. Either agree to go with him and go together and bury the hatchet and send everyone an email beforehand saying, this is such an important holiday for your boyfriend. And I want to be there for him. And I just want to be there in support and love and i don't want to have any issues or any problems however you want to say it in the most gracious way you can find unearth all of the therapy that you have gleaned and use it and give it out right now and and then go to this christmas eve dinner if you can if not let him go without you you know let him be with his family don't take people's families from them

oh yeah you know i definitely don't want i don't want it to be my decision at all right but just offer it up. I say offer it up. And I was going to say that early. I was just trying to ease into it. But I think the best thing you can do for him and for yourself is to go. Now, I don't believe they've uninvited you. I'm assuming not. But to go and kill him with kindness. And whatever it is, I'm sorry I didn't help you in the kitchen. I know holidays are really stressful. I wasn't thinking properly jump in the kitchen and be like i'm cleaning all the dishes or without making it a thing but saying like i apologize what can i do to help yeah you don't even have to bring up the dishes just go there this time and help and do all the things that they accused you of just go in

there you don't have to make it a thing have a conversation just show by example that you heard what they said regardless of how they came to you and regardless of the altercation that happened on the boat you be the bigger person this is a huge opportunity for you to go in you are going to leave that Christmas Eve dinner feeling fucking victorious. Yeah. God, I hope so. You are. I promise you, you are. You're going to report back to us right after also. And it's the most loving thing that you can do for yourself and for your boyfriend. And you need to apologize to his mother for putting them in that situation also. Just say, you know what? I wasn't thinking. You're right. I wasn't thinking. That wasn't right. I'm very sorry for doing that. And I apologize. You know what I

mean and then leave it at that just then that's it you put that in a text back to her you know when she said you're putting us in an uncomfortable situation was that a text from her yeah that was a text from his mom yeah I think you should apologize to her say you're right I didn't see it that way I get it now and then whether you want to text them about showing up for Christmas or talk to your boyfriend and how he wants to handle it but let him know that you're ready to go and play ball and have a great time. And there are no hard feelings. And you can deal with the other stuff later. Do you think that I should have a conversation with his sister? I just don't see no confrontation kind of. Well, you can send her a text or an email and just say, hey, listen,

Christmas Eve is coming up. This is what's your boyfriend's name? Taylor. Taylor. I know we have some stuff unfinished business or whatever, however you want to frame it. But be like, this is the holiday season. I just want Taylor to be with his family and be happy. I know this is meaningful to him. I'm going to do my best to show up for you guys in the ways that you don't think I have or whatever. Just, you know what I mean? Vaseline the whole situation and then go in there and demonstrate the fact that you heard what they said and you're still in therapy. You guys have all the time in the world to figure out the nuances and the intricacies of how you want to handle the situation. But in the meantime, go and show yourself and make the situation lovely. It's

a good challenge for yourself. You don't have to get into it with anybody. If anyone says anything untoward towards you, just let it roll over, you know, let it roll off your back. Use it as an exercise. And also you've said more than one time, I don't want it to be my decision. Well, it has to be your decision, but it has to be your decision under the right auspices, you know, with the right heart because he's in trauma with the whole process and dealing with issues that he's had with his parents or with his mom and his sister, you know, this is not the first time I'm sure something, they have put him in some, this position before. He's looking to you also without saying it to make a decision, but do it because of love and they won't have anything to

fight against. But you know, Chelsea's right. Like the actions are going to speak louder than any text, any words. Yeah. And I want you to think about it in this way. When you go in there, this relationship may work and or this relationship may not work. But either way, they were always going to look back at the Christmas Eve that their son missed and blame the girl that was the cause of that. So don't be that girl. Go be the girl that actually looked over all of it and said, fuck it. We're coming anyway. I'm a bigger person than this. I'm not going to let you bring me down. I'm going to be here to support my boyfriend. And I'm going to be here and show you what a loving family member I can be just for now, just so that that's not

the memory that any of you have that he missed a Christmas Eve with his family because of some woman. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely. And your son too. It's really good for your son to see how you process this information and see how you show up. Oh yeah. See how you show up for yourself. And the graciousness of that is, is such a good trait. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. I really need to stop being defensive. Stop being defensive and think of these two words, grace and dignity grace and dignity whenever i am dealing with somebody that i want to fucking kill i think about grace and dignity and then i just exude that oh my god and yeah and putting myself in an uncomfortable position is only going to be beneficial for me you know nothing bad can

come from that they also you know that they've put you in a position to it's like they're trying to win right and so if you cower away or then pull him away they've they've won you know they've won and they're right in everything they've said but if you show them that they're actually not right and this is how and this is why then there's nothing else either there's something much much deeper and it'll come out or it won't come out but the important thing is is that you are taking this and saying wow i had no idea whether you agree with it or not is not the point yeah these little gestures like i hurt them in some way and just that alone did they ever say that word you hurt me no but you know there were a lot of different things that happened that were said

i don't really remember all of them i just immediately put up a guard immediately got defensive like whoa whoa whoa whoa like y'all never said this to me and that's kind of what i was focusing on was the fact that they've never said that to me but they're saying it now so now i address it you know yes and also you know is this is the way you've really always felt about me i'm sorry i'm not trying to do anything to you and that it was never my intention and and try not to play like a victim role at all yeah just try not to be emotional about it i understand you have your emotions and you have your right to them but like just try to be even and just think about grace and dignity throughout the whole thing even if someone says something untoward or unkind or a

little you know slight you can just look the other way and just not engage not react it's not your place you're just here to support your boyfriend that's it yeah don't make it about me right yeah yeah and don't make it a self-fulfilling prophecy that you're right the gal coming in to keep him from his family yeah i'm i'm being the bigger person yeah yeah this is this is yeah and yeah don't expect a like a medal or anything either like that's the no that's maybe like but I've done the altruistic thing. Fuck them. And it's like, that's not the way it works. And it's like, it's almost like you have to do a random act of kindness, a very targeted random act of kindness. Yeah, to snap out of it. My mom used to pay the toll of the car behind us and then just

keep driving. And I'd say, oh, well, they don't know it's you. And she goes, that's why it's a random act of kindness. You don't pull over on the side of the road and point to yourself. I paid me you know you're welcome yeah no you do it without getting anything back right yeah yeah well jesse let us know how it goes okay and i will very good luck thank you i think you're your son it's the best thing to do for your son too yeah conflict resolution we've been talking a lot about about that like how kids will see arguments and they don't see them resolved so but i can't thank you all enough this was like huge for me and i'm just i'm really really really happy that i got to talk to y'all all right well good luck with everything okay thank you and keep

us posted jesse okay thank you i will all right bye bye bye brooke you're so good at this oh god i've never done anything like this before in my life i'm sweating you guys she took up our whole fucking episode i was like oh my god this is a serious situation because you know what when that call started I was like same once they I realized what they said to her I'm like well wait a second maybe they have a fucking point because you know there are obviously two sides to every story and then with her defensiveness I'm like okay we're gonna have to spend a little extra time with her because she does need to take it down a notch right right if someone showed up in my house I don't care who they are and they didn't at least attempt to help with the dishes right it's

like 101 yeah yeah so that's a little bit askew right you don't say nobody's gonna say can you come help with the dishes as a guest. No. That's not their job to ask you. It's your job to get up. My mom, I was like a kid kid, like five or something. And I went over to this little rich boy's house. And after we finished eating, I brought my dishes to the sink. And the mom called my mom later and said, yes, well, we just want you to know that we have people to do that. And so tell your daughter that she shouldn't bring her dishes to the sink. And my mother said, well, we don't have people and don't worry about it because she's never coming over to your house again. Click. She was always like, come on, come on, you got to do it. Their little things go a

long way. Yeah. Yeah, seriously. So let's take a quick break and we'll be right back to wrap up with Brooke and Chelsea. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all?

And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability.

Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, Shut up. Don't say anything. every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just

started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them they're stories about what it takes to make it out alive Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself

because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive

to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back to wrap up with Brooke Shields, who has been a delight. Oh my God, good advice, Brooke.

That was our longest call ever, I think, Catherine. But it was complicated. Well, I'm kind of verbose. No, I was down for it. Listen, I could have been on the phone with her all day. I'm down with that. Right. Totally.

Well, you know what, Brooke, do you have any advice you'd like from Chelsea? Yes, Brooke, do you have any advice you'd like to ask me? Well, there was one bit of advice that I was like, because I don't, this is really from your special, because I'm really bad with any kind of drug. Like, I can't take anything. and I was like I'm gonna ask her what she thinks would work for me to sort of dial me down a little bit every once in a while so that I could relax a little more yeah honestly I don't think you're I don't think you're cut out for drugs either I think I know what you mean I know I mean like a

hit of a joint would be fine for you not an edible because those are like long but like just a hit not a joint but just a hit would just take the edge off and make you a little bit loosey-goosey and giggly and not probably as tightly wound as you may feel because I can I know you and I you've talked about it and you know I feel tightly wound a lot of the times too even though people would find that hard to believe I am you know I can be really stressed out about stuff and I find a hit of a joint not a smoking a joint a cannabis drink would be good too I'll send you some leisure town here so you know what I do though is I try to beat it like I try to win at it so the moment where you go wait a minute did i did i just go somewhere i know i'm back i'm that makes me like panic yeah i

know you need to have like less than two and a half milligrams you need leisure town this is a cannabis drink that has two and a half milligrams you have to start with that and it just microdose and that's it and that's all you need and you will feel it and you won't get crazy and you won't go overboard okay i mean i like tequila oh you do like tequila yeah i do like i love tequila there's nothing wrong with drinking you don't have a drinking problem brooks you don't have to worry about becoming your mother that's already a wrap like you're not that person right right i do have one question though this is a different type of question as a you you said you're not an actress but you really your talent and your performance the level of rejection that is in this industry

yes how do you find the way to say no i'm i'm really good and i'm gonna keep putting myself out there and I'm not going to take it personally. You know, when you get doors slammed in your face or you don't get so many of these things, what's the thing inside you that makes you say, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, nope, nope, nope. I will not be rejected like this. I'm a hustler. God, that's me too. And you're always going to, you've been here this whole time. So you've been here for 30 something years, 40, well, for you, I don't even know how many years.

50, 57, because I started when I was 11 months old. Right. Okay. There you go. And so you've been here this whole time, so you're not going anywhere. So fuck anybody who says no. Listen, rejection fucking sucks. I'm rejected all the time too. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. But it's not all there is. There's acceptance and there's the one person that says yes or the one person that gives you the deal or the opportunity or the podcast or this or that. And when you're a hustler, you will always find a way. So that's what you are. That's the way I've lived my life. And, you know, people say to me, oh, you have such a varied career. I'm like, why do you think that is? Because when I'm shut out over here, I'm like, oh, go write a book or, you know, and it's because I will not not be creative in some way or another. I just, I hadn't heard you say it that way. I've always, when people say, how are you? I say, it's all a hustle, no matter what. It's all a hustle. yeah and there's something liberating about that too so yeah you know what also i'm proud of being a hustler i love that that's a fucking great way to be yeah my mom would be proud of both of us well thank you brooke so much it was such a fun time talking to you thanks for taking the time to do this thank you you look like you're in a beautiful snowy place i hope you're in a special place whatever that is and enjoying the weather thank you thank you i am good feel better thank

you so much have a great day thank you don't forget to watch my special on netflix you guys revolution it's a revolution so if you'd like advice from chelsea just send us an email at dear chelsea podcast at gmail.com dear chelsea is a production of iheart radio executive produced by nick stump produced by katherine law and edited and engineered by brad dickert i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced these are stories about what it takes to make it out alive listen to the

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