Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Put Some Luxury On It with Da’Vine Joy Randolph

Episode Date: December 5, 2025

Oscar-winner Da’Vine Joy Randolph joins Chelsea to discuss the tea on Shakespeare, how to develope emotional fortitude early, and why she’ll never bring a man onto the red carpet.  Then: The girls break up no fewer than two engagements.  A traveler gets dumped by his boyfriend just before their European getaway. A corporate drone is desperate to get out of the office and into the great outdoors. And a May-December relationship is nearing its end… just not nearly fast enough.  * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. The new Red Bull Dragonberry and Tropic Berry Energizers, now at McDonald's. Made with freeze-dried fruit and an electric burst of flavor. The all-new Red Bull Energizers, now at McDonald's. This product may not be right for you. High in caffeine. Details at mcdonalds.ca and participating Canadian restaurants, excluding Quebec. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files.

Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. each week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts did you hear the new episode

of the hey jonas podcast we are at d23 so we'll see who stops by the cast of frozen stopped by Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Adina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it.

Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements.

We host the podcast, Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I'm coming to Washington, D.C., Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus, and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago, of course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Mesa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri, St. Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee,

Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham, North Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modesto, California, and Port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington. I will be touring from February through June. So go get your tickets now. If you want to come see me perform, I will be on the High and Mighty Tour. Hi there, Catherine. How are you? Hi, Chelsea. I'm doing great. We have two episodes this week. In case you missed it, we had an episode with Elizabeth Olsen that came out yesterday, so be sure to check that out.

So our guest today was named one of the 100 most influential people in 2024. She is a Best Supporting Actress Oscar winner, and her new movie, Eternity, is out now. So please welcome Daveyne Joy Randolph. Oh, yay. We're sitting down with Dave Vine, Joy Randolph. Do you know that we have the same middle name? Oh, I love them. Chelsea Joy Handler.

That's beautiful. They did a good job. You're beautiful. Thank you. Yeah, that's nice. Chelsea Joy. First of all, Dave Vine is joining us on her wedding day. She is in a beautiful white wedding dress, and she's on her way to get married and had time to squeeze in an episode of Dear Chelsea.

Thank you. Thank you for having me. Oh, I'm so excited to meet you. I don't know if I met you when you won your Oscar a couple of years ago. I feel like during that time, right? We were at a party at around an awards season because I said something and you go,

Chelsea, and like, shut up. And I was like, how does this, you like rolled your eyes, but in a way, in an affectionate way where you understood me right away. And I appreciated that. I want to, before we talk about your current movie that we're going to discuss,

I want to talk about that period of time in your life because you had such a powerful acceptance speech when you won your you won more than an Oscar didn't you win a couple of other awards as well yeah okay so you said some really powerful things and one of the things that you said do you ever go back and watch did you go back and watch that speech ever okay one of the things that you said was that you spent so much time trying to be something that you weren't And only when you started or really became who you are, did you start to get rewarded for that. Right. Because I think in this industry or wherever, right, like you want to figure out how you can make yourself the most marketable.

Or like, you know, I mean, I think I was still in the process of the becoming and figuring myself out. But I think where I misstepped or where it took a longer process for me to get to the thing is that I was trying to figure out my similarities and other established things that was successful and try to find those things within myself and not realizing it's just work on this. This is the thing. Do you know what I mean? like oh well I I guess I have this part of this person that everyone loves and enjoys let me bring that out or this aspect and then it through that process and that's a huge reason why I do like acting because you're at least for me I always say if I wasn't an actor I'd be like a behavior psychologist because I'm very fascinated into the how and the why that people move and tick and do

the things they do and what I like about acting is that it requires me to develop a skill set to not only examine other people, but I hope we're also examining ourselves. So in this process of this career, it took me some time, but that I finally landed on, oh, no, no, no. It's here. It's within you. And let those things shine and the right people will align and attract to those things. And when you have that feeling about yourself, right, when it clicks in that you want to be who you really are isn't it crazy the way the universe starts drumming up all of like the positivity in your life when you get on your own team there's an ease there's a fluidity there's an abundance and things just yeah it just clicks in and you're like gosh why didn't I

and it's like sooner it's like not resisting no you're because what you're talking about and I as women we all have done this resisting who you really are instead of embracing who you really are yeah because I think in life you know like at least for me growing up you see these things in women that are older than you that you aspire to I remember it used to be like my aunt and her jewelry and how it was just it seemed so feminine I used to love the bracelet she used to have right so we lock these things of like okay when I grow up I want that when I grow up I want to do that And I think I was collecting all of these things, which I think is beautiful, of women in my life that I loved and in the process overlooking who I was becoming as a woman and that I already had some of my own things. Well, and I do think when you're developing your creative voice, you're at first sort of seeing what you like and copying those things.

But after a while, if you're successful at it, you do get into your own voice. You find through what you like, you find your own voice. yeah and it's also nice it's powerful we were just talking about ascension like the idea of ascending as a woman the idea of you are growing into the woman that you're supposed to become and i'd like to think of that i had a friend at glastonbury this year of all places where we were discussing this like we're ascending like it's not that's why i hate when people complain about their age it's like i don't get into it no i don't what do you mean i don't fuck with age i just do it just live lean into it yeah yeah and I think women especially now that we're all kind of

realizing how important it is to stick together rather than to separate that like you can help like what you're saying about your aunt's jewelry like I can totally relate to that as being a young child and looking to things that you want as part of your identity you know like when you grow up and that is that's like part of our ascension that's when our ascension starts like when you're a little kid and you start to envision who you're going to be, you know, and then all of the things along the way that kind of maybe bump you off track and then getting back on the right track. What do you think, like in terms of adversity, something that really shaped you in your younger years that helped you? Totally. I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up and I was

really grateful that my parents, they knew I had a gift in performance, but they let me do any and all of it like I was like the after-school kid I did all the programs and stuff because I wasn't quite sure where I wanted to land but I started off by way of singing and I think growing up as a black woman you there's certain things that you have to deal with especially when you want your gifts to be displayed on in public like through performance that very quickly I understood sometimes quicker than other kids did the differences and how to celebrate them own them not shy away from it and actually like we were saying lean into it and so it required me to have this kind of actually quiet but grounded confidence and resilience at a very young age

how young like elementary school because my mom my mom is an educator and so education was really important I lived in the same city all throughout high well up until high school but nonetheless I had an army brat kid mentality because I changed schools so much and until graduate school I had never stayed at a school for more than two years because it was never good enough for my mom or in some weird ways the school burned down or it stopped at grade five or whatever and so I because education was important I went to predominantly white private schools and so some of these schools would require me to do testing to get in that they did not require other people to do later we found out and so that kind of sense of like competition but also like celebrate my mom celebrated it I

remember when I would do the testing she would like pull me out of school to go test for this other school and then she would like take me out to a really nice lunch and she kind of like hid the fact it wasn't until later that I realized why am I testing to get into this school and sometimes it was like so you can get a scholarship because to be honest we couldn't afford to go to these private schools but I think it was early realizing like not everyone in the world wants you. Do you know what I mean? And it is as open and as inviting. And I learned that early. And so what my parents did that I'm really grateful for is they just kind of, they were like, look, this is the world and it is what it is, but we're not going to be victims or completely change,

you know what I mean? Or you bow your head in any way, you're going to be polite. You're going to be a good person. You're going to treat people well. And you're also going to have a confidence and annoying within yourself and so that was early and I'm grateful for that because now with this as a career like it's tough and you need that tough skin I think sometimes when people comment on those kind of essences of what they see I'm like oh well I had to do this young it's just now transitioning to a different platform medium whatever because you're you know you're out there on display and on your own yeah and you've yeah well you've been through lots of schooling also you went to oxford you studied oxford you studied singing in oxford shakespeare

because i had gotten to yale and i realized oh i don't i don't know this at all because i came into it so i i got into acting through being rejected from singing so i was a class i guess i say was but i'm a classically trained opera singer and so we were doing aida which is a very intense story is that she related to evita no no no she was like a slave well she was first a princess in egypt and then gets enslaved by this really hot guy so she ends up falling in love with and they have this interracial relationship which totally was not the thing at that time they get buried alive as they're singing this beautiful song like it's epic right so i was not evita But not a Vita. No, different time. Different time. Not that I was into acting at all, but I was like, I think I need to do a little more than just like sing. And they were not into that. And so I worked with an acting coach on it just so I could, you know, do my job well. And they did not like it. And they ended up flunking me out. And I was like, okay.

and it was my mom right so adversity that was my junior year it was my mom that was like you go across that street to the theater department probably because most of the credits transferred but she was like I actually think you can do this as well which at that time as a junior in college you're thinking about you know what I mean like okay I'm about to be on my own I'm now a singer like fly me to Milan feed me pasta and I'm about to sing opera you know what I mean like that was so my entire world quickly changed and so that was definitely a moment of adversity but like yeah so acting came way later got into Yale but that was an area where I was like I'm not equipped for because I didn't have that formal training and so yes that's why I went to Oxford to study

Shakespeare wow how cool is that yeah it was really cool where they filmed the dining hall scenes for harry potter was our like cafeteria so what do you think about all the shakespeare lore that like shakespeare didn't really write i know it's like what's your what's your take on that because did you read that book did you read hamnet have you read that book they're making i haven't but i'm really excited so that's a lot about that too about shakespeare and like you know a lot of people believe i mean i don't know maybe there's like super geniuses but don't you feel the same thing of like I don't want to be controversial but like Da Vinci or Michelangelo like did you really do all of them like maybe you had a staff like a team of people like team

of writers that we collectively but like okay I get it he's the figurehead of it all but I don't know I mean that's a lot of books it's a lot to do it's a lot of work to do but I know I don't believe like I when you hear about erasure of art and history and all of that it's just women and We got no credit for doing it. So I'm sure, definitely, I believe all of it now. At first, I'm like, that's such a big thing to cover up. But then as you know, as you learn more and more, and you're like, oh, yeah, this is all women,

and nobody wanted to give them any fucking credit. Yeah, totally. Or even like 200 years later, they'll be like, yeah, it was a man that did that one. It was actually, everyone already knew it was a woman that did that, whatever it was. Okay, well, wait, I want to circle back, though, to you winning your Oscar for Best Supporting Actress

for The Leftovers, because I just want to revisit it and ask you what that time in your life now that it's you've had time yeah what does that time in your life mean to you how did it feel how do you look at it now yeah it was a lot it was also because the industry was at odds meaning it was that award season there was strikes you know what I mean for writers than the actors so timeline wise now was when we so the movie I'm promoting now and that movie are coming out the same exact day and so due to the strikes it wasn't until I think it was like November 10th that we could even get involved that was part of the bylaws like we could not promote or anything and so it was a very unique experience and then once

the strike ended it was just full steam ahead it's all a blur I was like it was a marathon it was those uh campaign season award season I mean it does turn into a campaign it's like let's be honest I mean yeah that's I mean let's be honest and I say camp like right so different people could do any different things when you say campaign but at the very least you got to show up you got to show up to a lot of different places in front of a lot of different people and I just try to just come from from an authentic place of like i'm just gonna speak about what i love and and what i love to do and why i love this character because that was the only way i was going to be able to get through it because it's eight months it's a very long time it's a long

it's like having a baby you do that's honestly i did not because people like oh my god you cried i said no no i bawled because it was a release quite as it kept it's done we're done we did this from November to March. I'm completely, whew. Yeah, you're, yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I do. It just was like, oh.

I get it, I get it. I had the best sleep that next day because you just like, we did, I'm so grateful, but we did it and it's done. Well, a lot of people win an Oscar and then they end up leaving their partner. Did you do that? No, I didn't know.

Is that a thing? Yeah. It's the best actress curse, right? Is it best actress or best supporting? It's the best actress curse. Oh, okay. What? Like how quick?

like I mean within a year and it happened to Hilary Swank Kate Winslet like a whole bunch of them yeah yeah I'm trying to think why maybe because you are you're not around you're not home you may but I just figured it's because their husbands weren't carrying their weight you know that's like I got my Oscar now you can get the fuck out of here you know you know what makes me think of you know how like if you get a surgery or something done I've experienced this you get a surgery or something you come to and you're like you know what let me do some inventory do you know what i mean like maybe it was that right of like yeah by doing something else you had time to think and be like actually you're not shit so my eyes are now open that's interesting

yeah to be fairly clear i i've always made a vow to myself and maybe this is a very feminist thing to say I don't care if I'm in a relationship or not I don't ever want them on the red carpet with me because it's not about you respectfully it's not slash you know as a woman I don't want that to then be the conversation it's all about what we're here for my job and what I did and I feel like women I don't think maybe some men get this or within they're like oh my god tell me about your partner do you want to have babies and it's like let's do the job and so for me I always made that a thing early that I was like I love that and I that's like you know for me acting's the job but all this stuff comes up with it right and being in the public eye but that's something that

I want to always keep for myself I don't ever want the industry to have that because the reality is this is very hard to do you want to make sure that your support whatever that looks like family you know i mean your main partner that that's protected because you need that to be a good safe space for you to you know i mean have that sounding board with so would you date an actor have you dated actors no i've come close to dating them it's kind of hard to be an actor are I know it's an ick but you know I mean they treat it like it's a sport oh I gotta go work out because I got this role yeah right playing somebody works at the grocery store like why are you now hitting the iron so hard they like treat it like it's the olympics and it's very fratty it

could be very fratty energy that's icky to me I haven't yet met the actor guy that's like you You know what I mean? Because he's an actor, he's like emotionally intelligent and is like a little soft with the mask. The ones that are interested in me are like bros and that just makes me want to vomit. But like, I also think people frown on

and like miss the opportunity of like, crew, that's yummy. Every woman has had a moment while filming. Oh yeah, that's happened to me the other day. And you're in a scene and you look over and you're like, clopped it, clopped it. I definitely, I totally can relate. You're lifting stuff all day long, so they're strong.

They're hotter because they're not in there. Because, listen, they've got a beard. Yes, and they dress like they're tatted. They've got excellent facial hair. They wear hats really well. Ooh! And they're ripped. But, like, just enough ripped that it's, like, it's because I lift heavy things all day.

Yeah, it's not the glamour muscles. It's just, like, strength. And I think it's something really refreshing if they're so regular that you're, like, yum. Yeah, that's a good one. I like yum. I like that. I mean, I was looking at this guy the other day. I was filming something like three days ago with Kevin Hart.

He was shooting this show, and I came in to do something on it, and there was a crew guy. Oh, yes. And I was like, that guy is fucking hot. And I was miked, and everyone heard me, including him, and that was my intention. I was like, I just want you to know I think you're hot. Yes, absolutely.

You should know, you know? And they love it. They love it, too. Absolutely. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think I could do an actor. And the director thing is weird to me, too. It feels like a dad thing that freaks me out a little bit, you know?

Because they think they're over you in some way. They're a little bit smarter than you because they're running things. I don't do well with that. We're equals. Cut it out. You know what I mean? So I always think with the directors, it's like, ew, it feels like a daddy thing. Like, I'm dating this older guy.

He could be my same age. But just how they carry themselves. Yeah, yeah. Well, a woman director probably wouldn't act like that. Amazing. No, I've worked with female. Have you worked with female directors? More, please.

I mean, isn't it wonderful? The way they get things done, it's astonishing. I literally just try to take notes and be like, pass it along to the next male director that I work with because you would think they're reinventing everything. It's baffling. It's amazing how efficacious women are. I just posted something on my Instagram the other day talking about how men are, it's just so disappointing.

like just the most and it's not all men we have nice men here we your husband is a nice man sure i don't want everyone to think that i'm a man hater because everyone thinks that but it really the comments that came in on my video about why i'm not dating anyone the women were like and it's like every man just needs to read all those comments like women are opting out of you know not just actor men we're talking about men as a whole at least I am absolutely but um when you're talking about acting like you know men who take themselves too seriously like that's gross that's an ick but there are so many other problems along with that you know yeah and anyone who doesn't understand should go read those comments on my Instagram from all the women because women were

saying stuff and like I snapshotted some of them and sent them to you and I was just like oh my god we are so unified in how we are all feeling yeah yeah yeah absolutely yeah like what is it called purple weddings rainbow weddings where you like marry your gay best friend lavender get it i understand do you have a gay best friend i do yeah we've talked about it several times i'm like do we do you wanna just we were like no let's just be besties but i can i can process and understand why people would do it yeah some people just want to feel safe yeah yeah you know what i mean and yeah tax breaks and let's keep in mind people were doing this for decades all the time but now you know we love to label things in this day and age but what have people been doing for decades

like being like and so happy and like then you know have the agreement to me i'm like it's no different from like an open relationship you just this is us and then and then here i go with someone else this is us and this is me walking away from us to my other boyfriend at some point and you love it yeah okay let's talk about your movie eternity yes okay so this is a great premise for a movie we like this because how can we talk about it without giving away the plot we can talk about it right because i don't want to give anything away sure okay so the choice is basically if you had the choice, it's two men, if you had the choice

to, how do I describe this? You, like, choose between she's choosing between her husband that she had for a couple years, who she was very in love with, and who's very hot. It's a plot point. Both of them are hot. Yeah, please, for the sake of this press tour, please say that both of them are hot.

They're both hot. But one's, like, hot was every man hot. You know, it's like one's crew hot. One's hotter. One is hotter. One is crew that's funny yeah that's that's true but and then

he dies and she's choosing between him and the husband that she was with for decades that she built a life with so it's sort of like

so she gets the option yeah so you're suspending disbelief because this is afterlife yes you're you get the option to either

meet your first husband that died and get back together with him and all the possibilities of what never happened right or you get to stay

with the husband that you have now who you do have those memories with then you have created a life. Yeah. It's a valid question. It makes you really think about all of your exes.

Like, and if there's anyone you would ever feel, like I understand someone dying and being ripped out of your life. You would always question that, right? You would always as a woman, what if he was alive? What would our life have been like? But it's harder to think about

in the framework of a breakup because it's over because it's broken. Yeah. Are you the type that like when it's done, like when they're your ex, are they your ex? Or do you, can you like still like chit chat and hang out? I don't typically talk to my exes until about 10 years after our relationship ends. And that's usually when we resurface and then it's nice. Yeah.

Because there's nothing left there. Yeah, exactly. No one cares. No one's angry. I don't think people realize that. I don't want to make a generalization about women, but when we are done, we're done. it's gone and I don't think guys realize dude I don't think they really get that and they're confused like I think they say scientifically too like women process how women process a breakup

and how a man does literally is in reverse order which is like makes sense so what is it we go through all the big feelings first like we basically go through it in a healthy way yeah And in order, and we get to that point when then we're, like, at peace with it. They're in denial. They'll go out, party, you know what I mean, smash other people, whatever, whatever. And right at the point when we are, like, I'm at peace, they're now processing it. And that's when the phone rings? Oh, 100%.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's so weird. Or, like, you know, there's that weird phenomenon. Like, I don't like to say that men are dumb, but I will say one thing that they do have that's fascinating you realize like when something's going on in your life or like that next partner you had or that moment where you're like life is good they call or text you out of it's spooky and you're like what like kinetic thing made it happens every and it's

a different person it's not like oh that one guy that he's just nope they'll just send the text and you're like jump scare yeah yeah stay strong yeah that's why you gotta block them black and black i'm strong in a block i'm strong in a block don't play with me i i'm stronger than a block yeah i don't need a block yeah i mean i'm not gonna call you so it doesn't matter you know i don't need a block like i trust myself now i do now when i was young and sure like i'd get drunk and call you know booty call people that was always so humiliating but I'm so glad that that's not even an option you know what I mean anymore I don't have to be worried about how I'm gonna act if I have a couple drinks I know yeah it's when we're done we're done

because in my mind it's like at least me I've flushed out every possible option and I've tried my hardest to make this work what are we now doing that now it's like so then what was all of that for do you know what I mean to think we could just be casual again no how what's your longest relationship my longest one now I think is five years wow that's a long time I know especially for an actor right yeah so that's long before it was like two years was my mark yeah I was like okay I can't even make it past 10 months that's usually my mark at 10 months is usually when I'm like okay that's good bye and is it that they end up doing something they the x if once I there's a There's a couple of ics, and then when I hit, like, three ics, I can't look at you.

I'm disgusted. It's probably healthier, actually, because you're going through the process quicker as opposed to staying too long. Yeah, and also, it's not a revulsion. I don't want to sound so harsh, but there's no negotiation. It's so final when it's final. Like, it's almost like you can, when you're taking, like, some people say I'm easy to take advantage of. Like, the people who work for me would say that about me. Because I'm always like, sure, take it.

Like, that person's not out to, you know, for anything bad. And people are like, you're so naive for somebody who comes across as very, you know, in control of my own world. But you can push me, but then there's a stop. So that's what I've learned about myself. It's the same with men. You know what I mean? You can push me a little, but don't push me too hard. Yeah, and you clock it all the way.

Well, I don't know. I think as women you don't you know we realize I think as we get older you're 39 you're okay with me saying that yeah yeah you should be right you're 39 we were just talking about aging and how you know coming into you know now I trust my gut so much more than I used to I don't question things I know what I'm like think about it you know if I'm on the fence about something really think about what does your judgment tell you because this is what got you this far so it's one of my favorite things of being a woman the universe giving us the gift of women's intuition oh god i love it so much and some women don't know to listen to that intuition and that breaks my

heart we block it we're gonna we're gonna deal with that today with our callers by the way we're gonna take callers and you're gonna give advice and it's gonna be a lot about women's intuition because because you do like what would you say to anyone listening about knowing what how to listen to your intuition i don't know because to me it's such a loud voice and i guess i never thought that in some people that voice would be quieter right you know what i mean i've to me it's just a it's what i don't know maybe it's in layman's terms that jiminy cricket right that thing that's like uh-uh or yep go for it whatever right it's not always negative too and i think people don't realize that it's sometimes it's just that little it's like a nudge yeah it's that little you

That's the truest of you. And sometimes it's telling you a piece of it, right? It's not sometimes telling you, this is the game plan of exactly how to do everything. We'd be completely different people if that was the case. But it's a nugget, a significant nugget that sometimes initiates that trigger or that red flag, right? Of like, just clock that, watch that, be observant of that.

It could be just that. 100% is women's intuition and then sometimes it can be a little more witchy if you will and it's like right before something happens you're like hey I know you said you're gonna go on that date with that guy

I don't know girl you know what I mean and then they go something happens and you're like I relayed the information I don't know what to tell you but I do think it's something it sounds like you are someone who's been in communication with that still small voice for a long time.

I do think that if a woman is just starting to learn to listen to it, especially after having made some mistakes, like the more you listen, the stronger it becomes. And the more you follow it, the more in touch with it you can become. I think for people who don't have that gut, you know, when people like that,

that it is a matter of actually sitting with yourself and like literally getting into meditation and literally just trying to understand who you are when it's quiet and like sitting with your body, you know? That's a key point, right? So then I think essentially that might be that people are running, running from themselves

and making themselves busy enough. It distractions, that's right. Right. So they don't have that time to sit with themselves. Well, on that note, we're going to take a break and we'll be right back. The new Red Bull Dragonberry and Tropic Berry Energizers now at McDonald's.

Made with freeze-dried fruit and an electric burst of flavor. The all-new Red Bull Energizers, now at McDonald's. This product may not be right for you. High in caffeine. Details at mcdonalds.ca and participating Canadian restaurants, excluding Quebec. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files.

I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.

They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve

the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your

podcasts see you between the pages hey this is hayes davenport and sean clements we host the podcast hollywood handbook on the big money players network our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners each week we talk to someone in show business aka the biz and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can you help me shape this how about we flip it on its head how about we flip the script

what if the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird Adam Scott this entire time you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show

I would never expect I would never set expectations for something like that to happen if the universe allows for something like that to happen I am open to it. I'm always going to accept. You know, Danny McBride, fine.

Yeah, it's all this fragile masculinity exuding. I could smell it walking down the hallway, to be honest with you. I was like, is that weed? Nope, it's fragile masculinity. Ben Stiller, no. Because a lot of times, out of context, people don't get it or even know what a circle is. You know what I mean?

Like, they're like, oh, what's a circle? Everyone's so dumb except for you. And fake. Right, fake. And also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my wife. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show

and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first.

I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back.

We're back. Didn't even grab from my side of the head. She's like, what? We're back. We're back. With Devine Joy Randolph. Not to be confused with Chelsea Joy Handler. There's a lot of, do you feel, I take my middle name very seriously.

Very serious. As a provider of joy. Do you feel that way about the name Joy? Yeah. Good, I love that. And is it actually your middle name? Because some people that have Joy have a two name first name. No, it's my middle name.

It's your middle name. Only Joy, yeah. Yeah. but it sounds so beautiful together thank you i didn't really appreciate my middle name until i the way it sounds with chelsea is it's really nice yeah you're right about that i'm gonna just change my name to chelsea joy after i marry myself i don't hate that that doesn't look like that i like it well here is a woman who is beginning to learn to listen to her intuition k says dear chelsea i want to start by saying thank you for giving me the confidence to find my voice

Your podcast has been the nudge I didn't know I needed to start reclaiming my life and made me realize I'm not crazy for wanting more. At 22, I fell in love with a man 30 years older who promised me the world. I had dropped out of college. I moved to California and built my life around him. Now, at 31, I've realized this is not my person, and at his ripe age of 61, he's not changing into the man I need or want. Looking back, I can see how much the age gap shaped our relationship.

The power dynamic was never balanced. He always had more control, financially, emotionally, even in how I saw myself, and it's taken me years to recognize that. Over the past few years, I've started quietly rebuilding myself. I got my mental health in order, I started taking happy pills, and just landed a full-time accounting job that I love. I finally feel ready to leave, but our lease isn't up till May, and I want to hold out until then so I can save enough to move out on solid footing. The hard part is surviving the in-between. He's spends part of his time away for work but when he's here it's emotionally draining i have to mentally remind myself to respond when he talks our sex life is non-existent and after a long

day at work he's the last person i want to see it feels like i'm living with the ghost of a relationship that in my head i've already left i guess my question is how do i protect my peace and stay sane until i can leave i feel like i'm just trying to play nice to make it to may which at this point is like seven months away. You've helped me believe that I can start over and actually be excited about it. P.S. Is it bad to keep the engagement ring and sell it?

K. There's so much in there. There's a lot going on. My favorite, favorite line. I'm going to ask you, girl, are these normal ones you get? Oh yeah, all the time. Wow. That is one of my favorite lines from a letter ever. I have to remind myself to respond

when he talks. She's gone. Welcome to the world. Guys, remember, I told you, when you're done, you're done. Yeah. But not seven months staying there. No, no. She has to get out of there. Why did she say, is it a financial she can't afford?

Well, she said she releases up in May. She's got a new job. But she's got a new job. She wants to save up a little bit. I would say get out of there. Where's the, yeah. Yeah. If she has somebody, like parents or, because she's still-

A friend. Yeah, girl. Find a roommate. Stay with a friend or find some cheap Airbnb, whatever you can afford. But I honestly, the energy suck that you're talking about is going to have, that's seven months. That's not seven weeks. That's going to have a negative impact on your mental health. And they're already there.

So I always say don't let money control you. If money's the thing, you'll figure it out. And if anything, maybe it needs to be a little tough, humbling in those seven months because that's part of the rebuilding. Sometimes when you have hit rock bottom is where you get the most work done. but sometimes we can't always be in cushy comfort i mean it doesn't sound all that comfortable but do you know what i mean like yeah it's nice that you're in whatever this house or place is but like what that house and home represents is it's not what you want yeah go somewhere else and begin rebuilding yeah because your mental health is more important than how much she's working on it but

it sounds like she is actually at the point where she's ready like if she was like i'm just starting to think about leaving that'd be a different story but she's mentally gone like she's checked out yeah i personally just wouldn't let waiting for the lease to end to be the thing because also you could be on payment plan and say hey take me off the lease i'll pay the rest of the lease my half of whatever i don't know but don't i would never let money be a reason to keep me in a bad situation yeah especially when the future's so bright like everything's again 30 what 31 yeah yes good for you for making the decision also yeah i was gonna say she is actually quite mature for being 31 and she shouldn't a 60 year old exactly and she shouldn't beat herself up yeah

because she met him at a young age and she's grown up in that process so i wouldn't beat herself up but now she's known what she knows yeah yep so keep listening keep listening to As a matter of fact, hold on. That last line, we've got the solution for her. Can I curse? Yeah. Sell the fucking engagement ring and get that to get out. What?

Yeah, definitely sell the engagement ring. Sell the engagement ring so you can get a down payment on an apartment. Good catch. Babe, you're out. Yep. Excellent. We just solved it. Get out.

Problem solved. Look, problem solved. Problem solved. What's next? We're on a roll already. All right. Here we go. So, Shariah is going to be joining us here.

We can actually put on our headphones. Can they see us? Yes. Because I have a very expressive face. Okay. Okay. Great question. Behave.

All right. So, Shariah says, hi, Chelsea. I'm 27 now, but when I was 23, I got divorced. Thank God I got over that while I was young. I found that I was solely relying on my then husband to provide financially. I was working a shitty job and had some college experience, but no degree. After we split, I felt like I woke up and thought, what the fuck am I doing? This is like the after of the question we just read.

I promised myself to never be reliant on a man ever again. I worked extremely hard to be where I am now by completing my bachelor's degree and got a job to help me get situated again. However, I am now a legal assistant, which I find to be a soul sucking job. I really only got a degree because most relatively good paying jobs require a degree in anything. As I'm sitting at my work desk now, I'm typing this and thinking about how I can incorporate my love of being active and outdoors into my career, but it seems almost impossible and I don't even know where to begin or if a job like this exists. Do I continue being miserable at my jobs and then go hard on my time off or somehow incorporate

my passion for being outside and not stuck in a corporate office into a career? Thank you, Shariah. Definitely. Hi, Shariah. Hi. Hi. Thanks for your letter. This is our special guest today.

Dave Vine Joy hi sweetheart nice to meet you okay so yeah you got to get out of that job that's not gonna that's not gonna fulfill you you you I don't know what you're gonna do but you're gonna figure it out right it's not an option to stay in an unfulfilling job we're not doing that anymore yeah and then this and then this day and age like with social media and stuff like that like just start doing it and it may be like look if that ends up being your hustle job and that's how you make your money make sure you do just enough hours to pay the bills so like right on the realistic side of things you're taking care of that but invest your creativity in a thing that you love yeah well i guess you know my question is too you know

in a world where you can do just about anything or like you know how do you even start to find out what you want to do or what you want to make your career well let me ask you this are you currently located in the type of geography that's the type of outdoors you like like oh that's a good point you know are you a desert person I mean somewhat yeah I guess I'm happy where I'm at but that's another thing too is like I don't have I don't have kids I'm not married I don't have anything holding me anywhere so it's like beautiful kind of overwhelming that I have all these things that I can do so it's like where do I even start well first of all google outdoor jobs and start making a list of things

that seem fucking appealing. Let's start at the very beginning. Like go on Anthropic. That's the new one I'm using. Anthropic instead of ChatGPT. Delete ChatGPT because those guys are monsters, okay? Anthropic actually wants to regulate.

They care about AI. They're actually responsible. One of these tech companies that is using really responsible. And it's not as quick as ChatGPT, but it's improving all the time and it's going to get there. So first of all,

download Anthropic. go on there and ask them outdoor jobs use use ai to figure out how to curate the skill sets you have and your the experience that you've had in the business world what kind of degree do you have like a business degree or yeah business degree generally girl that's good yeah that's great listen we are this is all great news if you're not married you have no children you're young and you know you're unhappy in your job we're gonna change you're gonna change all that you have your whole life ahead of you it's a good thing so this is a very exciting time yeah yeah I think Devine was right like start with you've got your job and start going hard on the weekends

and maybe go ahead see if you could do it remote right because I feel like since the pandemic there's still a lot of remote jobs so that you can still keep that going and like you were saying be in a location or at least balance your time that so that you check in the hours and do what you gotta do for that one but that you have more free time and the ability to travel wherever you need to go to tap into that and I think it's going to be about developing communities too yeah right so being around other people like-minded that you're going to start to figure out where your niche is yeah and if you're finding that like just spending going hard on the weekends isn't enough like my my brother and his wife they sort of did that they got jobs where they could

work about four days a week and then they would go they live in the pacific northwest so they just like go camping every single weekend and see waterfalls and beaches and whatever else but then that wasn't enough for his wife and she just went and spent a few years extra in school and now she's an arborist and that's her new job and she got she took a tree climbing class that was part of her coursework like there are these jobs out there but as you start exploring you're gonna find out more about that as well and your business degree is gonna come in handy because maybe you're gonna to start your own business you know what what are your what are you into outdoors wise like what are your passions I mean like I like to hike I like to trail run and camp all those things I like to

ski and like if I could be a ski bum for the rest of my life I would love to but they have jobs but also you know I would eventually like to maybe buy a house or so then this is the business part of it all so you either need to have a company where you're doing hiking tours or you're aligning what you could do is let's put some luxury on this reach out to like top five star hotels when you said with skiing like hit up the aspen network stuff like that where you can have your own kind of service whether you're giving tour guys or ski tours or whatever but as the business where you get to on their dime experience the things you love have something where you're teaching them and then you're staying at these amazing do you know i mean hotels and locations

i think right now is this day and age of what are you an expert in expert it's just your passion what are you passionate and you can literally sell that as a commodity now and you can do it in amazing and beautiful places it's like an outdoor adventure guide you know exactly like start with that concept or something and and just and then you're gonna like put that down you know what i mean put that into something type that into something and see what comes up where all the options are like maybe it's a vip service you offer people you know like when i go on vacation to places i always have like a concierge service that's right and then they'll set up my activities you know they set up like and this is all related to business you know what i mean like you can make

anything into a business now but like something like that where you're basically planning people's activities and whether that's outdoor stuff only or whether it's like vacation stuff or you focus on skiing like do you live in a mountain town yet i have before i lived in salt lake city but um i live in spokane now that's super outdoorsy yeah spokane washington yeah yeah yeah they're super i mean everybody in in seattle in that area loves outdoor stuff yeah so you're in the you're in a good place to do that so you just need to start networking a get a sense of like ideas and just you don't have to figure this out you know today obviously but you're going to start thinking about it and when you start thinking about it and putting your energy towards that more things are

going to come your way and you're going to meet more people and who knows maybe you're going to meet someone and you're going to start a business with another person you know but but i would get very active in like all of the stuff that you like to do get active in the groups around that do that you're actually in the right spot. You can start a hiking group. You can start a hiking community for women, you know, between this age and this age who are looking for community or for women only or whatever you're interested in. You know what I mean? You can start that with like three or four girls of your friends and then expand it. And then, you know, kind of think about which different directions you can take from there, but, but you're at the perfect time in your life.

So take it seriously and don't, you cannot be in a job that's unfulfilling. okay and thank you i think just to kind of keep this energy going i'm sure you have a book you can recommend as well but go get yourself a copy of you are a badass by jen sincero read i'm talking like a couple pages a day and this is going to help keep your energy up keep you thinking of good ideas and really like shift your energy because i it's i still feel like there's a little a little humdruminess you know and this is very exciting she's just called i mean yeah She's going to still have the humdrum-iness. Let's get you out of that.

Give her a minute, Catherine. I mean, I still do have to go back to work. Yes, yes. I'm going to have to do that for a little bit. But you can't. No, no, absolutely. You can balance it, though. But yeah, and it's going to be infused with this energy now

because now you're going to be thinking about how you're going to make your way. Is the remote option a possibility for your job to work remotely? Yeah, yeah. And I kind of just started, so in a few weeks, months, I'll be able to. Oh, yeah, lean into that. 100%. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Well, it's great. You had this conversation and it's going to ignite more conversations. Yeah. Yeah. So keep us posted. Will you let us know when you make your move and what you do?

Absolutely. Okay. Thank you. Bye bye. Be an outdoor hiking guide. Yeah. Yeah. And I think luxury VIP, those are, yeah.

Well, that's my jam. I'm not hiking nowhere. I love you. Yeah. Is it Aspen Four Seasons? What are we talking about? She could have a real good time. Yeah.

I need a guide with me for whatever I do because I can't be trusted to find my way back. You know what I mean? Well, let's take a quick break and we'll be back with one last caller to wrap up. Okay. We're going to take a quick break. The new Red Bull Dragonberry and Tropic Berry Energizers. Now at McDonald's. Made with freeze-dried fruit and an electric burst of flavor.

The all-new Red Bull Energizers. Now at McDonald's. This product may not be right for you. High in caffeine. details at mcdonalds.ca and participating canadian restaurants excluding quebec when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say

anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club,

part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters,

then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita,

we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita,

trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself.

So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show.

We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this? How about we flip it on its head? How about we flip this around? What if the surprise woman, who actually you think is the straight man, is actually the one who's acting weird? Adam Scott, this entire time, you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show. I would never let go of that. I have never set expectations for something like that.

It seems like if the universe allows for something like that to happen, I'm open to it. I'm always going to accept, you know, Danny McBride. Fine. Yeah. It's all this fragile masculinity exuding. i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity yeah ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this

everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode but he's just so busy listen to hollywood handbook on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and we're back we're back so quickest break in town i can't speak either now quickest break in town quickest break christopher uh wrote in his subject line is he shut down and canceled our trip so Christopher says dear Chelsea I've been with my boyfriend for about three months things moved quickly between us but we both felt it had

real long-term potential we had a few bumps he's very type a and I'm much more easygoing but we've always managed to talk things through recently we took a short practice trip before he planned a two-week vacation in Europe during a sunset cruise he got upset with me over something small and completely shut down to the point where he acted like I didn't exist. It was really painful and we eventually moved past it. Fast forward to now, I planned almost the entire Europe trip, making sure it was romantic and thoughtful. A few days before we were supposed to leave, I mentioned I was playing tennis after work with a coworker. When I got home, he refused to speak with me. And after a day of silence, he told me my location didn't show at the tennis courts,

even though it did. He wouldn't hear me out. He shut down again and ultimately decided not to go on the trip. I'm heartbroken and confused. I care deeply about him, but I don't know how to move forward with someone who doesn't trust me and can't communicate like an adult. What should I do, Christopher? And I think, Christopher, you just got back from the trip by yourself, right? Yes, I went to Amsterdam. I changed the whole trip and did a solo trip to Amsterdam. Oh, honey, that's ridiculous. Did you get any action on that trip to Amsterdam? He can't say that publicly. Okay, okay.

So that's a yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. A little update on that is, so I went and I shut my location off because I didn't tell him that I was going to Amsterdam. Uh-huh. Smart, because he's really into the locations.

And I may have downloaded Grindr, so yeah. Yeah. Okay, so have you broken up with this boyfriend yet? We are on break. we are supposed to talk this weekend about next steps but I'm kind of hearing from my friends as well that

I should run and they always wanted to tell me that they thought that from jump how long has it been? three months this is around that time together three months but like seeing each other about

five to six kind of dating just get away from him get away from him you can't a lot of work you can't be with someone who can't communicate and that shuts down like that he needs to go to therapy and until he goes to therapy you have nothing to do with him period yeah sorry it's like listen it's not three years be happy it's only been three months and i'm going to say that you got the sign quickly and it's hard yeah but you they showed you and doesn't mean that people can't change but you saw what you need to see

early so at this point right you can stay in it if you want to but you know what you're signing up for do you know what i mean so it's kind of like grinder is what you're signing up for basically yeah i think it's on me too i think what i need to work on is i become a kind of a a u-hauler a lot and i really u-hauled this one to where i'm like was ready to move in But then I realized, what if I move in and he kicks me out because I was late home? Yeah, he's unpredictable. Yeah. You don't know what's going to happen.

And the silent treatment is like toxic bordering on abuse. It's called withholding. It's really bad. When you give someone the silent treatment, that's withholding and it's abusive. Because, yeah, and it's also so immature. Like it is so unevolved and so not worth your time. it's it's disrespectful to you as a person to think that that's okay and I guess to me too it's kind of a sign of them just wanting to hurt you and not wanting to work it out because it's

like we have all day like let's talk it out they're choosing to really lock into that pattern but they just seem I think you would just be literally be on pins and needles yeah around this person the entire time yeah and then the location off like what what I actually would like to hear this conversation that you have next with him because you know that he was tracking you while you were gone and you turned your location off I'm surprised he's even talking to you right and that upset the fact that you turned the location off yeah I think what hurt me the most though was everything was like perfect like as in a day before tennis we were going on this trip but I honestly did play tennis and I think for me it's like I started to get in my head of like of course

because you care I did play tennis like I didn't lie and I think that's what really got in my head of me and me starting to gravel and be like please like let's fix this but like I didn't do anything wrong exactly because you want that's a natural reaction you really care about this person you maybe even in love or love this person and you wanted it to work but at the same time it also should reveal to you like you were saying the amount of work that this person needs because it seems as if to put it politely they can very easily get triggered and set off on things that aren't even there right so that's not about like his fear of that's not about you yeah that's you're experiencing stuff and hurt which is legit right yeah that you had nothing to do with before

you even came into the picture that's coming up for them and they don't know how to process or deal with it it's not to say that they're a bad person at the very least they need the time to work it out and maybe but you know what else sucks can i just say this sometimes the most fun exciting swept up be the craziest ones you know what I mean I sometimes in past relationships

would get over time I was starting to pick up on these kind of I'm saying this to say you're not the first one to experience this so don't feel like you're alone in all of this and sometimes it's not for everyone but those fast and furious heavy you also get fast and furious bullshit too you know what I mean like

There's two sides of that coin with that kind of personality. And so it seems like you're also seeing, not to say it wasn't real and what you guys felt is what you felt, but sometimes, I don't know, sometimes love is a little bit more boring and a little bit more, it's not always high voltage. And it's sometimes because those people are like a little more high or strong and you're going to also get those highs of the bad highs too. I don't know if that makes sense. No, absolutely. I totally make sense. I think, but you know, you always have to look at these moments

as with gratitude. Like, thank you for showing me who you are. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for not wasting my time. Don't, it's not a struggle.

You don't have to make it this big struggle. And like, I don't know, is it, what do I do? What do I do? You know what to do. That's a bad sign. He has work to do. If he wants to do work and come back, great.

You can talk to him in a few months after he's had some therapy, but this is not how you're going to go through life. So that's the end of that story. You got the message, loud and clear, right? Problem solved. Yes. Okay.

Yeah, and I think it's definitely solved because I was also about to, I was going to propose too. Oh, no! No, no, no! I had a rage, yeah. Propose? No!

Propose? No! I'm so glad you called in today! Oh my God! Please, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That is really funny. He didn't know.

It was, no one really knew besides one friend. Oh my God, this is a gift. Your secret's safe with us. 100% it was a gift. It was a big, big, big, big gift. Not the universe stepping in to tell you wrong decision. And also, you have a big, beautiful heart. There is someone out there that's going to be down for all of that

and will reciprocate the same exact thing back to you. And this relationship and the relationships in the past will all make sense when you meet that person. I promise you that without even knowing you. So continue to be your beautiful, full-hearted self, and the right person will be able to handle all of that and give it all back in spades. Yeah.

And I think I'm going to need to take my time. I don't need to rush. I think you said that too. There's a lot of men out there. You're going to be fine. Don't worry about it. All right, Christopher. Godspeed.

Godspeed. Thanks for calling in. Yeah. Well, that was really good advice. You know what? I like the intensity with which you are paying attention to these questions. I appreciate it.

Oh, this is serious. I appreciate your attention to this matter. Absolutely. You really, really were. My soul left my body when that man said he was going to propose. I got so scared. We didn't even get into Only Murders in the Building, Davine. That's okay, but thank you for watching, everyone.

I love that you asked for him to do a scene with Meryl Streep. Oh, yeah, girl, you gotta ask for certain things. That's right, you do have to ask. There's no way that lady will be in this building. I'm like, oh, no, it's okay. So you can catch Davine. She's a new movie. It's Eternity.

It's out in theaters now. You can catch her on Only Murders in the Building. And it's such a joy to sit down with you. Oh, thank you. It's such a joy-joy. A double joy. Triple joy day. It's a triple joy day.

Thank you for being with us here on your wedding day. Thank you. The word of the week is efficacious. Adjective. Having the power to produce a desired effect. efficacious used in a sentence everyone knows that women are more efficacious at problem solving and multitasking than men efficacious i just announced all my tour dates it's called the high and mighty tour i will be touring from

February through June. So go get your tickets now. If you want good seats and you want to come see me perform, I will be on the high and mighty tour. Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write into DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com. I survived nine months in captivity and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are The Survivor Files. Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled,

and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by. The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today?

I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it. Well, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh, no way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita,

we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita,

trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller,

and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.