Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Putting Yourself First with Jamie Lynn Sigler

Episode Date: May 2, 2024

Actress and activist Jamie Lynn Sigler joins Chelsea to talk about why it took her so long to accept her MS diagnosis, how going through her “athlete phase” led her to the love of her life, and th...e unexpected turns her life has taken since her career-defining role on The Sopranos.  Then: A single woman wants to stay that way, even though her guy-friends can’t take a hint.  An almost-21-year-old worries about inviting her newly-divorced parents to her birthday party.  And a Kiwi with Graves disease wrestles with fertility questions and unchangeable circumstances.  *  Check out MeSsy with Jamie Lynn Sigler and Christina Applegate * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at DearChelseaPodcast@gmail.com * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive.
Starting point is 00:00:41 Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us.
Starting point is 00:01:14 Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself
Starting point is 00:01:35 because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. if your bookshelf and your for you page are equally important to your personality welcome home pro society is a weekly podcast that's part book club part group chat for anyone
Starting point is 00:02:05 who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse each week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions listen to pro society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, Katherine. Hi, Chelsea. How are you? Oh, I'm good. I'm good. I'm just enjoying my new house. I had an energy cleaner come to my house.
Starting point is 00:02:33 That's excellent. Did they do a little sage? Well, I wasn't there, which is how I prefer that to go down. I was on the road this weekend, and they cleared my house of energy, and she sent me an email with all sorts of shit about my house and what energy it was holding on to and some past life stuff. And I was like, oh, you know how I feel about past lives. I just can't get my head around that. But I also spoke to a numerologist that one of my makeup guys referred me to
Starting point is 00:03:00 because he told me a really fascinating story. He lost his dog, and this numerologist helped him actually find his missing dog. Whoa, okay. Like, he led them to him. That's very cool. And I was like, oh, I'd like to talk to that guy. So I only did a half-hour reading because I don't have a lot of attention span for that kind of stuff, but I'm interested.
Starting point is 00:03:15 I'm just not, like, you know. but every psychic in every medium and every numerologist or astrologist that I have spoken to has told me that my mother is with my dogs all that my dogs all go to my mom and I had this reading like two weeks ago before Bernice was like going downhill and the numerologist said Bert he goes Bert and Bernie and I was like Bert and he goes is this Sesame Street and I'm like no no those are my dogs Bert and Bernice Bert and Bernice and he goes and Chunk and Tammy oh my gosh he said the four dogs names that I have had I mean he didn't say he didn't say Bert and Bernice but this was premonitionary because he did say Bert and Bernie he goes Sesame Street or there's
Starting point is 00:03:56 something about Oscar the Grouch and then Bert and Bernie and I was like oh those are my two dogs but anyway I had to say goodbye to Bernice last week knowing that she was going straight to see my mother made me just so happy. Yes. Well, and Laurel and Jackson talks about that in her book as well. There was one couple she did a reading for who no people came through for, but like all these pets and animals came through for, and even like a bee they have saved from the middle of the road. And now I like feel bad every time I see a bee like in a puddle and I pull it out. Oh, yeah. They're there. I don't know if I have time to be pulling bees out of puddles though. Don't worry. I mean, I do have time. I just don't know that I'm going to be spending it that way. That's
Starting point is 00:04:35 Okay, that's okay. Doug went to doggy daycare in Whistler, and she was like, what do you want from this? She's like, this is our first discovery session. I was like, what? I was like, discoveries? What do you mean? I'm like, it's a dog. Like, just fucking train him.
Starting point is 00:04:50 Meanwhile, Doug doesn't listen to anything, so he's just like all my other dogs. He's so sweet, Dougie. He's so beautiful. It doesn't matter. He's such a beautiful baby. We got to Vegas yesterday. We're all in a hotel room. There's like 10 of us, and we're all in a hotel room, and Doug gets up on the bed, urinates
Starting point is 00:05:04 all over the bed in the hotel room in this huge suite that they gave us and then 10 minutes later he pisses all over the dining room floor and it sounded like a horse was peeing like everyone's like oh my god is there a faucet on and then we all looked and saw doug p twice back to back oh no oh no thank you for this marking that we just ruined oh no well hopefully they'll give it back to me the next time i'm there yeah uh well chelsea i have just a sweet email from a listener this was in a follow-up to our jane fonda episode she says you're chelsea i wanted to tell you how much i enjoyed the last podcast with jane fonda she's such an icon and made such an impact on me in my youth and now in my later adulthood and everything in between i was hooked on her from
Starting point is 00:05:47 her fitness videos in the 80s and on golden pond spoke to me too as i had a hard father then nine to five book club and of course grace and frankie as a 56 year young woman i look and listen to her with awe and admiration when she said she closed up shop at 86 i felt that i'm happily divorced single with a situationship with the wisdom that there are many roads to a good life really and truly thank you for the podcast love listening bravo to you all the best chrissy d in chicago i love hearing about how many people uh lives have been impacted by jane fonda oh totally totally and i just love that she says like there are many roads to a good life so much of the time on the show we talk about like should I do this or that and you know you say this a lot
Starting point is 00:06:29 but it's like when you make the choice and you choose to go towards something that's the right thing and if it's not you change yeah absolutely and and also just committing to your decision that you're making when life hands you a curveball it's okay that's what life is curveballs like it doesn't have to go the exact way you want everything to go in fact if it does then you're not really learning much at all right right exactly so thanks for writing in chrissy what's going on chelsea well my two nieces are in college my other one has graduated so i'm getting ready to see them soon oh fine i actually invited two of them to be on the podcast to give gen z advice to young listeners so this is a call to action actually my nieces jordan and charlie are coming
Starting point is 00:07:12 on to give advice because they're both great at it they're both super smart and they're both very compassionate and Jordan definitely has a psychology brain. So I thought that would be good to incorporate more family members into the podcast. So if you're their age, my niece is 19 and then 25. So if you guys are, if you have young kids or that age range, if you guys have questions, please send them in and we'll curtail them to that special episode. Yeah. Or if you have questions about Gen Zers, write in. If you want to understand Gen Zers too, if you're older and you need some intel for your own children or whatever's happening, that's a good idea too. But yes, definitely for our younger listeners. Yeah. Our guest today has a new podcast called
Starting point is 00:07:53 Messy that she co-hosts with Christina Applegate. And I think we're ready to welcome her to the show. Right, Chelsea? Yeah. Our guest today is Jamie Lynn Sigler. Hi, Jamie Lynn Sigler. What's happening? What's up? I'm so excited to talk to you. Oh, it's so nice to see you. When was the last time we saw each other? Was it on your show? I don't know. Was it? It's like a very long time. Wow. It's been a very long time. Well, you look exactly the same. So do you. Well, that's not true. But thank you very much. I know you have a new podcast with Christina Applegate. It's called Messy, where you guys discuss your diagnosis, your lifestyle. Well, I mean, not your diagnosis, your life with MS. Yeah. And other things. Of course. Of course. It's not only about MS. So
Starting point is 00:08:38 tell me a little bit about reaching out and you guys connecting and figuring out that you even wanted to do this. Yeah, well, we were, you know, we've kind of been peripheral friends for a number of years. And then when she was diagnosed, our mutual friend, Mr. Lance Bass put us in touch because I think, you know, she was in the middle of filming dead to me and was scared and confused and didn't know what this would mean for her. And me being somebody that's lived with this over two decades. He felt like I could help her. And it just morphed into this beautiful friendship. I didn't realize how badly I needed to have somebody that also was having my same experience to talk to. I'd never had that before. And we'd have these two-hour conversations where we'd be
Starting point is 00:09:25 laughing and crying and getting really intimate in ways that I had never done before. And she called me one morning super early and she was like, I feel like we need to put these conversations out. I think it'll be healing for the both of us and for other people. And what we found since is it's been really cool because as specific as we're getting in our journeys and what we're dealing with in our lives, it's kind of universal for everybody because everybody's life is messy. Everybody has things that they push through and have to, everybody has hands that were dealt that they wish they didn't have. And it's about basically trying to learn how to accept that and move forward with it. And so we're kind of taking you on that journey with us.
Starting point is 00:10:07 Yeah, I think that's very true. I think that a lot of people, things happen in life all the time that completely change the trajectory of what you thought was going to happen and how you get around that psychologically, emotionally, physically, all of the requirements that are necessary for you to soldier on. So tell me a little bit about your experience, because I know that you kind of kept it hidden for a while, your diagnosis, right? I did. I kept it hidden for almost 16 years and you know i there's a lot of things that led me to become public with it the main one being i couldn't really hide it anymore and i didn't want to lie and i didn't like the feelings of shame i was developing around it you know because it was a secret i was starting to
Starting point is 00:10:51 feel guilty and embarrassed by it and i knew that i needed to just see you know i was so fearful i I was so fearful that people would only see MS when they looked at me, that I would lose work, that I just didn't know what it would mean for my life once I said it out loud. And ever since then, it's been like eight years, it's been this really slow process of acceptance for me. And I'm not quite there yet, but I'm getting there. And it's just, you know, it affects my walking. It affects my gait. That's the way it affects me the most. and I've just in the past two years finally started using a cane and a walking stick when I
Starting point is 00:11:30 need. And that took a lot for me to get there. It took a lot for me to actually say I am disabled. I have a disability because I think for a long time, maybe it meant that I was losing the battle, that it meant that I wasn't doing all the right things. And so like you said too, the emotional journey though, beyond the physical has been the greater one. And with that has come a lot of amazing gifts. I bet. Tell us about that. Yeah. I used to be the most closed off person in the world. You know, I came from an immigrant mother who was like, never let them see you sweat. Always put your lipstick. Always look perfect. Never let them know that there's a problem or you are a problem. And it's been a journey of kind of undoing that and in my
Starting point is 00:12:18 vulnerability and my forced vulnerability because what I struggle with is on the outside. So people mention it. People see it. It's forced me to talk about it. I've had the greatest connections with people. It's deepened all my relationships and deepened my relationship with myself and my self-worth and my value as a human, no matter what I'm doing in my career or how my body is moving. And I really know wholeheartedly that I would not be who I am today without MS, as much as it breaks my heart to struggle the way that I do physically. I know it's part of my journey and I'm grateful for it. Yeah. Wow. Well, that's huge. I mean, I think once you get to that place,
Starting point is 00:13:03 then you really are around the corner from acceptance because it sounds like you are in acceptance. I hope so. I am. And it's, and it's really helped to talk about it, especially on messy and what Christina has done for me, because we're in two really different places with this, you know, she's still in the new phases and she's angry and she's, she's in her grief. And not to say that I don't dip my toe into that every once in a while. Of course I do. I'm human. But what she's really allowed me to do is sit down sometimes and be like, this sucks.
Starting point is 00:13:33 I hate this. I wish I didn't have it. For so long, I didn't allow myself to say that. I was afraid to. And she's taught me the beautiful balance of being able to express my emotions, but still press forward and have the gratitude that I have. Yeah. And can you educate us a little bit on how MS presents differently for different people or like what the telltale signs are? Like definitely. Yeah. MS is, is very different
Starting point is 00:14:01 for everybody, which is, I think kind of like the confusing part for people. And it's why you have to be your own advocate and how, and speak onto like how it's affecting you and not hold back when it comes to that. So, like I said, for me, it's affected my gait and how I walk. And in the beginning stages was my bladder. So when I was working on Sopranos and I wasn't telling anybody in the middle of a take, I'd be like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I got to go pee because I was going to pee my pants. That is a very common symptom among women. And why does that happen? What is it doing to your bladder that it makes you have to go like impulsively? So there's, so along all of our nerves is myelin. It's like, if you look at a cord that you're going to plug in your lamp to the wall,
Starting point is 00:14:45 there's this thick coating around the wires and so the myelin is that for our nerves and ms attacks the myelin so there's little holes that are poked or it can damage it completely so it it weakens the signal and sometimes with that weakened signal it could cause a spasm so it can cause your bladder to start spasming which then your brain is confused like do we have to go do we have to pee do we hold it what do we do and then sometimes you just don't have the control unfortunately there's medications that can help that there's a lot of disease modifying drugs but you know for some it can affect their speech their hands cognitively it can affect their energy levels luckily for me that's not the case it's just like i said my bladder and my walking and
Starting point is 00:15:30 it's kind of been this like really slow burn for me over the last 22 years for better or worse but I'm like, I'm a real stubborn fighter and I keep trying and I work out as much as I can. And I push my body as hard as it can go because not only do I have dreams that I still keep alive, but I have two little boys that I really want to be as present for as I can. But there's also the hard reality of my limitations when it comes to being a mother. And do those physical limitations, are they the same always? Or is it sporadic? It's always the same. Yeah, for me, yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:16:08 And I think that that works for me because I kind of know what I'm dealing with every day. And especially when I work, it's easy for me to say, okay, here's what I can do. Here's what I can't do. Here's what I need. Here's what I don't need. It's allowed me to find my voice at work, too. Yeah, I bet. I mean, if you said you were hiding that, right, from your people you were working with for so long,
Starting point is 00:16:31 how did you I mean having to actually a tell people like this is what's happening and then b set boundaries up like okay I want you to hire me but now I have to give you four reasons why you might look away and go we're not hiring her yep yep I've I've dealt with all of it I have dealt with you know my last job I got hired on just to be like a recurring guest star and then they kept me on for two seasons as a regular and so in that experience I was like oh I'm not a burden. This doesn't deter anybody. They hired me for my talent and they worked around it, which was great. But at the end of that experience, I felt really strongly that the next thing I do, I just want to work in this body. Like, why can't I just walk the way I walk and play a character?
Starting point is 00:17:19 It doesn't have to all be about MS because my whole life is not about MS. But I've lost a role recently where they felt like the male character wouldn't look very good if he broke up with a girl that had a disability which I get I'm not mad at I understand I understand their ways of thinking but also a lot of my trepidations about coming out about it was because there's nobody on camera that moves like me or unless it's like very specifically like they're the character that has a disability and they're sympathetic or they're a villain and I'm just gonna do my part and hopefully try to change that yeah I like it I like everything you're saying that's very powerful And I'm and noted on the podcast, not only revolving around the disease, but revolving around your real lives, because in order to represent MS on TV or on podcasts or in media in any way, it doesn't have to be addressed all the time.
Starting point is 00:18:12 You just have to have people who have it, who are acting like regular people, because that's what you are, a person. That's exactly right. So talk to me about your marriage, because I know you had a divorce when you were very, very young. That was probably traumatic from what I gathered. Correct. And then you went on to meet this new guy, your husband, of how many years? Well, we've been together 13 years, but we've been married eight. Okay.
Starting point is 00:18:37 And you have two boys with him. And so how did you go from a toxic relationship to the healthy relationship? Because that's what our listeners all want to know about. Let's talk about it. Well, my first marriage, which I've never really talked about much. So he was 10 years older than me, and then he became my manager. Isn't it funny, though? Sorry to interrupt, but I will.
Starting point is 00:19:00 Because isn't it funny that you can have a first marriage and almost forget that you were married? All the time. Just think about that. People are upset about breaking up with people. It's like you might not even remember this person fucking 10 years from now or five years from now. There are people that I was in relationships with that I've forgotten about. It's so true. I too, I forget all the time that I was married, literally married to somebody once before.
Starting point is 00:19:23 So something to remember people. Yes, that is very true. Life goes on. So after that, I had a series of three boyfriends that were all lovely. And, you know, my first husband was like this kind of like showman, like who turned out to be a bit of a sociopath. And then my next boyfriend was the opposite. He was like super quiet, reserved, which is kind of what I needed.
Starting point is 00:19:48 And then I dated my co-star, Jerry Ferrara, an entourage for a little bit, who was just like loving and supportive. Then I started going through like a little bit of an athlete phase. And then I remember that, but my, and then my husband was an athlete and he's eight years younger than me. So when we were, we weren't set up, he was hanging out with my best friend's husband because they were both baseball players and I was in a dry spell for a while and he was leaving for spring training in a few weeks and literally my girlfriends were like he's so cute he's into you just like fuck him for a little while like have some fun like come on and I was like okay and I think because of that we didn't play any games you know it was no like don't text
Starting point is 00:20:35 or don't call or leave a little space leave a little time we just jumped in just having fun and getting to know each other and kind of the rest is history you know we did long distance we got pregnant by accident less than a year later but that was just kind of i say god's way of interfering to keep me where i was because i kind of had a history of like a year or two in and then i ran because of my divorce and like my fear of getting too deep into a relationship relationship and he is wonderful. He is the most supportive and patient, loving guy. And I would say the only, I wouldn't call it an issue, but the thing that we really have to work through is the MS in this relationship, which sometimes feels like the third person in our relationship,
Starting point is 00:21:20 because sometimes I need him to back off with how much he's helping me. Sometimes I need him to just let me vent and not have to fix those types of things, which is like sort of been our only real struggle, thankfully. And as it should be. I mean, that is a struggle. So it wouldn't not be. And you're blessed to not have to be stressed about anything else in your relationship. That is true. And I think that's very sagacious what you just said about venting because that's definitely a thing. I want to fix people's problems always. I want to tell them what to do and I want to give them advice and I want to get involved. And that's not always welcome or necessary. Some people just want to fucking vent and that's it. They just want to get it off their
Starting point is 00:22:05 chest and they don't want you to help them fix it, which is what you're saying. And I can respect that because I definitely have been there too. And then there are people that just can't see the forest for the trees who you want to help, but you can't because they're not listening. They don't get it. They don't see the problem. And they're focusing on the small things instead of the larger picture. But I think it is a very valuable thing to remember that sometimes people just need to be heard and to be listened to and since I don't get to practice that on the podcast because that's what this podcast is about is giving advice and and talking to people I do want to say that I practice that in real life with people when I know that somebody has an issue I just I'm trying
Starting point is 00:22:41 very hard to sit and not interfere and just listen and hold someone or rub their arm or their back or whatever because everyone needs that every once in a while we all go through shit where you just you know, somebody can't fix it, but you want to complain. You want to get it out. It's like one thing after another. Yeah. You need to like release the pressure valve a little bit, you know, like get some of that air out. And yeah. And I tell my husband and friends even sometimes like, thank you for listening. This is something I want to figure out on my own. This is something that I know I'm going to grow from figuring out on my own. And I think that comes also with time and experience of figuring out as the complainer or as the person that's needing to vent differentiating
Starting point is 00:23:24 like am i saying this because i need your help or am i saying this because i just need to vent but knowing that i'm gonna figure it out on my own okay well let's take a break and we'll be right back the jonas brothers are running it back we live the burning up tour and celebrate the biggest jonas brother hits that have defined a generation one incredible celebration one unforgettable night see the jonas brothers live at rbc amphitheater september 28th get tickets now at ticketmaster.ca jonas brothers the burning up tour all over again when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the Survivor Files. I just
Starting point is 00:24:22 remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything. Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page
Starting point is 00:25:08 are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.
Starting point is 00:25:25 I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm gonna have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse.
Starting point is 00:25:49 Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts See you between the pages Hey, this is Hayes Davenport And Sean Clements We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners Each week we talk to someone in show business, aka the biz
Starting point is 00:26:19 And try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman. Not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this? How about we flip it on its head? How about we flip the script? What if the surprise woman, who actually you think is the straight man, is actually the one who's acting weird?
Starting point is 00:26:45 Adam Scott. This entire time, you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show. I would never expect. Let go of that. i have i would never set expectations for something like that it seems like if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no
Starting point is 00:27:22 because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this david everyone's so dumb except for you fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode but He's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.
Starting point is 00:28:00 I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here.
Starting point is 00:28:28 It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:28:56 If you need advice from Chelsea, write in to DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. You can ask about your biggest dating conundrums, the cheating scandal that's rocking your friend group, the funniest marital disagreements you need Chelsea to weigh in on, or anything else. That's DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. And we're back with Jamie Lynn Sigler.
Starting point is 00:29:17 We have some callers today, Jamie. I'm so happy you're here to give advice. Okay, what do we got, Katherine? We actually have people calling in from all over the place. We've got someone calling in from Spain, someone calling in from New Zealand. Oh, that's exciting. I can't believe people get my podcast overseas. How interesting.
Starting point is 00:29:32 I didn't know how the internet worked. Yeah. We'll start with Megan. So she is almost 21. Oh, shit. She is calling from Spain where she's been doing a semester abroad. So Megan says, Dear Chelsea, I need your advice on whether or not to invite both my parents to my 21st birthday party. I'm in college and six months ago I found out my parents are getting a divorce.
Starting point is 00:29:54 I already go to school out of state and I rarely see my family, but I haven't seen them in months now because I'm in another country for the semester. I'm heading home in a couple of weeks and my birthday is the first week I'm home from study abroad. My siblings have been keeping me updated on all the drama, but I'm the youngest, so they're definitely keeping things from me. What I do know is my dad now has a long-term girlfriend, and my mom has just started seeing someone. Great! Great! My parents haven't spoken since Christmas, just through lawyers, so my birthday would be the first time they'd be in the same room. I know they want me to be happy and will do whatever I want them to do, but I also know one of them will be extremely bummed if they aren't there to celebrate me. Thanks so much for being my therapist.
Starting point is 00:30:34 When I can't visit my actual therapist, whatever advice you can give would be amazing. Megan. Oh, there she is. Hi, you little almost 21-year-old cutie pie. Hi, how are you? Hi, cutie. This is Jamie Lynn Sigler. She's our special guest today.
Starting point is 00:30:48 Hi, Jamie. Hi. I think it's a perfect opportunity for your parents to challenge up, to meet the moment and make this their first outing. And it's not about them. It's about you. Yeah, no, definitely. And I think, listen, obviously somebody got very hurt, but if they're both dating other people, that softens everybody's pain. Obviously your father, if he has a long-term girlfriend, then he's probably had her for a while. And your mother probably thinks he's an asshole, but she's dating someone. And that's very positive.
Starting point is 00:31:16 And if you feel like you should have a conversation with either one of them beforehand, then you should do that, too. Just to be like, hey, this is a big day for me. You know, it's my 21st birthday. And I really would love to have both of you there. And I know you want to be with me. And let's just make this as easy and pain free as possible. yeah no I completely agree I think I struggle with having like those conversations with them just being the youngest and having to always go with the flow I never really I don't like to make things about me entirely so it's definitely going to be difficult to have that conversation with them but my sisters also said the same thing they were like you know look like this could be the first time we really get them together and we can test the waters but if you don't want that They said they would support me in whatever decision I make. And I have been debating, telling them I don't even want either of them there and just doing a whole thing with my
Starting point is 00:32:10 friends and my siblings' friends and celebrating it separately. But it's a big birthday, especially, you know, I've been waiting to turn 21, having older siblings all in their 20s. I know the feeling. I'm with you. I got it. Oh, yeah. I definitely need to have a conversation with them. And if whatever happens, it happens. But I know they're not going to intentionally try to ruin my day. No, they're not. And also something you just said, you have problems putting yourself first. This is a great opportunity to put yourself first. You're going to have to go through life and there are going to be times where you have to put yourself first. And that doesn't mean
Starting point is 00:32:48 you're selfish. That just means that you're healthy. And you know that like certain dynamics required this is your birthday party and if you don't want to have the conversation then write them an email and put it on the email together put them on the email together if you want to be like okay this is all i've ever known i understand you guys aren't together and i i totally support both of you this is my birthday i would love to have both of you there if we can have a peaceful joyful celebration and if you don't think that you can come with that attitude then we'll celebrate on our own at another time. But I don't want this birthday to be about your divorce. Actually, write down exactly what I just said, because that was fucking perfect. I just wrote it down.
Starting point is 00:33:30 Good thing it's being recorded. Yeah. No, but you said, you know, you saying an email, that's actually really interesting, because my dad would honestly reply to an email faster than text message. So maybe that's a good idea. Yeah. Well, that's how you know what generation people are from. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I do have older parents. So even if you're sort of an adult like you are now, when your parents get a divorce, you have to grow up really fast. So, you know, this is that first conversation that you have to have where like you are taking the reins of this relationship dynamic. So how are you feeling about their separation and divorce? Does that bother you? Were you shocked? Were you upset? No, it was more I wouldn't say shocked. It was more
Starting point is 00:34:08 like we didn't think it was ever going to happen because they would always put their relationship and even us first well of course these couples they wait until their kids are out of the house it's like who the fuck are you waiting like the kids don't care they just want normal parents and when you're fucking 15 through 21 you are not thinking about your parents you are thinking about your life right it's been a lot of ups and downs just because when i first found out i didn't find out in the best way possible. But then I was also at school 1,500 miles away. And now I am studying abroad in a completely different country. So I don't even know the full story of what's happening back home. I just get what my siblings tell me because obviously my parents aren't telling me
Starting point is 00:34:51 anything. They're just sugarcoating everything. So I don't necessarily know exactly what I'm going home to. I just have an idea of what I'm going home to. And that's the other thing that I'm struggling with. What are your siblings saying about it? I mean, as much as I love my brother and I love talking to him in person, he's horrible at communicating over the phone. You don't even have to finish that sentence. We all know, brothers. You should see the text I got. I had to put my dog down recently and my brother sent me this text. And I have two brothers and one of them is so sweet and so loving and the other one is a fucking asshole. And the text I got from my one, I mean, the two texts just describe their, I might have to put them in my new book because it
Starting point is 00:35:28 really just shows you who each person is. Yeah, no. Well, first, I just want to say I'm sorry about your dog. I loved seeing all those. Oh, thank you, honey. Thank you. What are they saying your sister saying about the dynamics since they separated? I think they're telling me what I asked them questions about. And one of my sisters, she does like still live in my hometown. And so she's getting it all in person. So a lot and she's also the oldest. So my mom is kind of putting everything on her and then my dad is asking her like oh like how's your mom doing and she's very much in the middle so sometimes when we call to catch up she kind of just dumps it all on me and which I'm okay with because then I am getting the full truth whereas my other sister who knows way more about
Starting point is 00:36:12 everything that's been happening like she's known since the beginning she's more like I'll tell you whatever you want to know and whatever you ask questions about but I don't want to ruin your study abroad experience by just calling you when something happens and telling you what's going on. You know, she just waits for me to ask. Yeah. It sounds like you have great sisters. Yeah. I do. I'm really lucky. Yeah, totally. That's so nice. I have great sisters too. So Jamie, do you have sisters? No, I grew up with two older brothers. Okay. So then you have to deal with that. Thank you. Yeah. You understand the brother. Yeah, of course. Of course. But I think, you know,
Starting point is 00:36:49 like your parents made this decision for them and what was right for their lives. Like, like Chelsea said, like, this is your opportunity to do that for yourself. And your 21st birthday is one to remember, hopefully. And like, you should say that in your email, if you feel like they're not going to be able to show up for you the way that you need, then maybe it's just not the place for them to be at. Maybe you don't even want them there. Maybe you have like a family dinner and like you get to go out and get trashed with your friends for the actual 21st birthday. What is the plan? Is it a big party, you said? It's a big group of us going downtown. A lot of my friends won't be home from school yet. So it's only a few of my friends, but it's my siblings and all of their
Starting point is 00:37:33 friends who also watched me grow up and they've all been waiting for me to turn 21. So it's going to be so much fun because it's a big group, but also I don't know who knows what of what's been going on because everything is so new. So if a fight does break out, like I really don't want to be put in a situation and I doubt my siblings want to be put in a situation where we have to like explain that or like cover that up, you know? Well, I think this email will cover it. You'll find out where they are and if they're able to be in the same space together. And if they're not, then, you know, then they're not. And that's okay too. Like then you can have celebrate with them individually because it does sound like what you're going to do is basically like a bar crawl,
Starting point is 00:38:11 right? That's exactly what we're doing. Yeah. Party bus bar crawl. That's going to be more fun without your parents anyway so you can go either way you want with this one i mean you know and they'll probably only come and then leave you know what i mean they're not going to be there all night yeah right they're probably gonna go home by 10 yeah yeah and i would worry less about like a fight breaking out than like just general tension my last piece of advice that i will tell you is hydrate hydrate all day and then between every drink have a water you'll still get hammered i would love to try that one time i would love because of how much i fucking detest water i know but now i have my new water flavorers that i like my electrolytes but i would love to
Starting point is 00:38:50 go out drink have a glass of water like everyone's been fucking talking about for the last 50 000 years and see if that makes a fucking difference because i doubt it will does for me it does the next day then maybe i should maybe i should tell them to drink water too i just get an iv get an iv there it is a preemptive one no honestly i was thinking about that just booking an appointment and getting a prophylactic IV so that you're prepared for all the dehydration coming your way. And also, have a great fucking birthday. 21 is a huge birthday.
Starting point is 00:39:21 That's your first big birthday of your life, other than when you turn 18. That's good. Well, 18 these days isn't that big of a deal because you can vote, maybe get drafted to the war, but that's pretty much it. All the perks. 17 was big because of your license.
Starting point is 00:39:38 So that was my big... 16. 16. oh I didn't get my license in New Jersey so 16 yeah 17 was big 18 was big and then 21 and then after that it's every 10 years so yeah I'm gonna say it's just downhill from here yeah but enjoy yourself and your future is thank you so much okay you're welcome honey happy birthday thank you I appreciate it bye guys hi Jamie what's your situation are you allowed to drink while you're on the medication you're on for MS or no I am allowed I just don't
Starting point is 00:40:10 Alcohol, for whatever reasons, never really hit me right. Cannabis does. Yeah. Interesting. Interesting. Very nice. It's why do all drugs affect me in a positive way? And other people, either like it's they like one or the other typically.
Starting point is 00:40:25 Alcohol or cannabis. Right. All of my friends that are cannabis people don't like alcohol. You know, I get in my younger years, I just would get sloppy. Like, I'm the girl that, like, the decision-making goes out the window. Like, wouldn't it be funny if I flashed them? So I flash them, you know? Like, I would just be too wild.
Starting point is 00:40:46 Right. I hear you. Okay. Fair enough. Well, let's take a break, and we'll be right back. The Jonas Brothers are running it back. We live the burning up tour and celebrate the biggest Jonas Brothers hits that have defined a generation.
Starting point is 00:41:03 one incredible celebration one unforgettable night see the jonas brothers live at rbc amphitheater september 28th get tickets now at ticketmaster.ca jonas brothers the burning up tour all over again when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up, don't say anything. Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled
Starting point is 00:42:06 and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your for you page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm
Starting point is 00:42:50 from best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is the trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, aka the biz,
Starting point is 00:43:36 and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guess like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can you help me shape this yeah how about we flip it on his head okay how about we flip the script okay what is the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that it seems like if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going
Starting point is 00:44:22 to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is. You know what I mean? Like, they're like, oh, what's a circle? Everyone's so dumb except for you. And fake.
Starting point is 00:44:49 Right, fake and also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.
Starting point is 00:45:17 I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it.
Starting point is 00:45:51 It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our next caller is Katie. She says, Dear Chelsea,
Starting point is 00:46:16 I'm writing in today to ask you about an issue that I've honestly struggled with ever since I was a teenager. Basically, my question is this. How do you deal with a friend who develops romantic feelings for you when you don't have the same interest in them? This has happened to me many times over the years, mostly with my guy friends, and I never feel like I handle the situation well.
Starting point is 00:46:34 My typical approach is to ignore the signs that they have feelings for me as long as possible. And then when they finally decide to bring up their feelings, I try to shut it down as politely as I can. No matter what, I always end up feeling guilty about the situation, like I've been leading them on or something. Also, when we do end up having the conversation about dating and how I'm not interested, it frequently feels like they're trying to argue with me or convince me to change my mind. The way I see this is, if I'm not attracted to you romantically or interested in you, I'm not going to spend my limited time and energy giving it a chance. Life's too short for that shit. So how do I shut these types of conversations down while preserving the friendship? Katie.
Starting point is 00:47:12 Hi, Katie. Hi. Hi. This is JV. She's our special guest. So say hi to her. Hi. Nice to meet you. You too. Okay. So you seem to get a lot of people. Is it all men or were you implying that there was a woman that has a crush on you now? Oh, well, there is a woman who has a crush on me now, but that's kind of my fault but well we met on a dating app so like that's a separate issue okay let's go back i'm curious about that issue also but yeah well so but mostly the issue is like straight guys that i've been friends with i don't think i can think of a single guy friend that i have that i'm still friends with who didn't have a crush on me at some point so i feel like i'm constantly having to deal with this but also like a lot of my friends deal with this too where
Starting point is 00:47:55 you know they're like they it's some guy they know some guy like they work with or is like a mutual friend or something like that and then it just gets really awkward really fast and have you ever handled it where it was a successful result and you remain friends with the guy after they revealed to you that they had feelings yeah yeah I have a few guy friends who handled it well and we're still friends and how did you handle those interactions when it came down to the wire I mean I just feel like I was like you know I'm not interested can we just be friends and I feel like a lot of the work is on their part like of being like okay yeah I'm gonna be cool with this and I'm gonna accept it I was like hey I understand if you like need some time and space that's fine
Starting point is 00:48:37 but then the ball's kind of in their court I feel like to not be weird absolutely I mean if you tell someone that you're not interested they have to say take that information and accept it they can't be like well you should be because of a b and c like that's kind of really annoying you can't be convinced to date somebody you should like me because yeah yeah i have had this experience jamie i'm sure you've had plenty of friendships where they thought it was headed in a different direction you know not many maybe once or twice but i think it was just more like i went on a date or two and then not feeling it and the other person really not understanding why isn't that amazing though that you could be on such different tracks. Yeah. Like, isn't it very clear that
Starting point is 00:49:21 there's not a connection here? It's like chemistry is palpable. When there is chemistry between two people, you feel it and both people feel it. So if, if the person that you're telling that you don't have chemistry with, that you're not interested, doesn't understand that there's no chemistry, then they've never felt chemistry between another person before. Yes. And to try to like make it work. I mean, I've also been in situations where, you know, you're dating somebody and then after a while you can feel that they're not feeling it anymore. And it's the worst, but it's so clear. You can feel the shift and it's important to, and you're right. And it was on me to do the work for it. Well, yeah. Well, we women can. That's right. Right. Yeah. Maybe these guys
Starting point is 00:50:02 just aren't feeling it. Yeah. I do think though, listen, and when you know somebody has a crush on you, since this is a pattern, it happens to you frequently. I do think you can get a little bit smarter about nipping it in the bud before it becomes an issue. You know, make it very clear that you are not available in that way. Even if you're single, that you're not interested in that kind of dynamic with friends. Like, I love having a friend like you. I hope we can be friends for a long time. I hope I can introduce you to my next boyfriend and my husband. I hope you'll be at my wedding. You know, like drawing, making a delineation about the friendship and making it very clear. This is us. This is what we're doing. And it's not going to go beyond that. And as
Starting point is 00:50:40 gentle a way as possible I think is helpful to steer the person off course you know what I mean you know I almost wonder too because Katie and I want you to talk about this for a second but like when we talked you're like I love being single and I think sometimes the person who's like not interested at all sort of is like guys are like yeah it's a magnetic attraction because you don't you're not desperate and you're not asking for anything so that's when men are turned on when you're not interested so it's totally normal like I I've had this so many times with men when I've been single roommates guys and I'm but I was so clueless to it because I was just an idiot you know until they actually try to kiss me and I'm like what the fuck are you doing but I do lead
Starting point is 00:51:19 people on without thinking of it so I had to really curb my behavior with male friends to let them know like just because I'm flirty and fun and I like to take my top off doesn't mean I want to fuck you yeah for sure for sure and I guess just being like just because I'm single doesn't mean I'm interested or doesn't mean I'm available like automatically like is there anything you're doing that you think you should change is there any behavioral patterns that you think are leading to this I don't think so I'm not even really that flirty like of a person like I'm just kind of me hanging out here doing what I do you know but I think there are some guys where if you're just nice to them at all they fall in love with you so also because you are happy and you are centered
Starting point is 00:52:02 and you are grounded that is attractive to men you know it's like look she's got her shit together that's fun okay so there's nothing you're doing that you think that is leading it to this so I would just try and be like a little bit more proactive about it before it comes up try and just keep it your eyes open for that and just when you sense it make it clear yeah and you can even like what Chelsea said about when you do have to address it tag on to that don't make it weird like this doesn't have to be a thing like let's keep being friends and like yes that's good that's good yeah i like that if someone said that to me that i had a crush on i would be like oh okay yeah like it's not gonna fuck you anyway but thank you for that i'm glad i know i have a friend out there
Starting point is 00:52:42 awesome well did that help katie yes definitely okay awesome all right let us know next time this happens if if things worked out well and um yeah for sure for sure okay bye katie well thanks for having me bye bye I mean it's not a bad problem to have it's not I know I know I think there's some women who like are just not interested in like the men around them and it's magnetic like you said no yeah if something happens it's it's always like that yep and also people create narratives like when they hang out with you they start to believe whatever they want to believe about the dynamics so they're like oh yeah I hung out with her again she's spending time with me She obviously likes me.
Starting point is 00:53:23 Right. Your brain can find evidence for whatever story you want to tell you. Exactly. It's like she doesn't dislike you or she wouldn't be inviting you around. Well, Georgia is calling in from New Zealand. Her subject line was, Graves' disease is a stupid name for a stupid condition. Dear Chelsea, I'm writing in need of some advice from my favorite doctor comedian podcast queen. I'm a 28-year-old woman in New Zealand and I was recently diagnosed with Graves' disease,
Starting point is 00:53:48 an autoimmune condition where my thyroid goes way too fast. This came after experiencing some mild vague symptoms, and the diagnosis came as a big shock. I've always been generally happy and healthy. The diagnosis has left me feeling insecure, ashamed, lost, and confused. There's been some weight gain on my medication, inevitable in this case, and some eye symptoms, and I'm ashamed because that's such a vain concern. I'm also worried about the impact this has on my infertility as my husband and I were keen to start trying next year, and that may no longer be an option. Do you have any advice on adjusting to a huge life change, be it health-related or not? I'm seeing a therapist I love but would love any advice you have to give. Love from New Zealand,
Starting point is 00:54:29 Georgia. Hi, Georgia. Hey, how are you? I'm good. Hi. Thanks for calling from all the way from New Zealand. Jamie, why don't you start this one since you have more experience? Yes. So, Georgia, Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Jamie. I live with also an autoimmune neurological disorder called MS, so I understand and can sympathize greatly with what you're feeling and going through, and I'm sorry. I've lived with this for a very long time, over 22 years. So the advice that I could give you is I developed this kind of like three-step thing for myself that really helps me. And the first step is to reflect. And that means to sit with the hard feelings, the grief, the sadness, the depression, the despair of what you thought was going to be
Starting point is 00:55:22 for your body, for your old body, all of those things. You have to give yourself the space to feel all of those things. And the second step is reframe. So there has to be acceptance over your diagnosis and what this means for your life. And that means you're going to have to reframe that and the decisions and things that you're going to make. It doesn't mean that things are hopeless, but you have to figure out the adjustments and the way that you're going to need to pivot. And then the third step is reach out, reach out for help. There's resources, there's people, there's tons of opportunity to research and find whatever little bit of help might help you. There's tons of modalities for different things. And I think that those are kind of three
Starting point is 00:56:09 steps that I come back to often still. I mean, it's not like it's one and done, but it really helps me kind of process the way a disease that you have no control over sometimes affects you. And also, I'm sure there's a support group for people who have been diagnosed with Graves. That's where you should start, you know, to get advice and tools for dealing with it from and people who have been experiencing it. Yeah, yeah, that's all very helpful. I think that those three steps are a really interesting way to think. I think I did a lot of the first step, sitting with it, feeling a lot of feelings.
Starting point is 00:56:43 And then I think I sort of jumped to step three of reaching out and getting into therapy and looking for those resources and that sort of thing. I still think what I struggle with and maybe what I need to focus on more is that reframing step and that acceptance and actually looking forward instead of sort of being like either it's going to be fine and just sort of cutting or feeling really down about it it's going to change day to day you might have good weeks you might have good months you might have good years or you know it's it's you have to give yourself grace through all of it strength doesn't mean that you're like handling it with positivity and everything's great strength means that you're just
Starting point is 00:57:25 still showing up for yourself wherever you are that day wherever you are in that moment in my opinion and that is really difficult and I understand that and also getting a good community around you whether it's two three people whoever it is it's important for you to not go through this too much in your own head and with your own self you know can I ask you what what what is the status of being able to have children did they say that that is off the table or that it it may not be on the table. So a little update is that I'm actually pregnant now. Oh my God. Chelsea, you work quickly. That is so fast. You just called in like five, what, five minutes ago and you're already pregnant? It happened very, very quickly. I had a thyroid ectomy. So they
Starting point is 00:58:14 actually removed the thyroid, which meant that I am no longer on medication, which meant I couldn't get pregnant. And so I got the clear from my doctors in about December. And we thought, okay, well, this might take quite a long time, you know, getting hormones back to normal can have a huge effect. And no, it didn't take that long. That's amazing. I mean, there you go right there. There's a sign from the universe telling you that everything is going to be okay, but slightly different. You know what I mean? Yeah. And your body isn't abandoning you. Yeah, I think it has been. It's definitely helped with gaining some of that trust back. I'm sure that you're quite familiar with that feeling of feeling. I felt quite betrayed for the first time from my own body. It has definitely been quite healing to gain some of that trust back, I think. Yeah. Wow. Georgia, when we talked earlier, you had mentioned that some of your symptoms have
Starting point is 00:59:09 continued even after having some treatments. Do you want to tell us a little bit about that? And I wonder if Jamie has some wisdom on like dealing with disappointments when it comes to different treatments? Yeah. So I'm now on, because I have no function, I'm now on medication that helps my thyroid to work. Well, the sort of fake thyroid hormone. Replacement. Replacement hormone. And so that has led to I guess a different set of symptoms where before getting pregnant there was a bit of weight gain and I guess things went the other way feeling maybe lethargic and the big one that I have had since is I also developed thyroid eye disease which is sort of a different disease from graves but you get it because of graves and it meant that my eyes have changed in appearance
Starting point is 00:59:56 they sort of bulge out a bit more I've had some treatment Botox in my eyelid but it made sort of my eyelids sort of raise and so I looked quite surprised and I was surprised when I was learning about Graves that that was a symptom that wasn't going to go away just when we treated the thyroid stuff and so I felt like I was like oh I'm gonna get on top of it get my thyroid taken out I think there's still some yeah realigning with the fact that some of these changes might be more permanent That's hard to accept sometimes. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:28 I understand that. And I can understand sometimes the way that one treatment can affect you for the better, but then there are side effects from that. It's a very unfortunate and frustrating dance that you have to dance, but this is all new to you still. And sometimes these things just take time. And I think like living in the beautiful journey of pregnancy and going through this pregnancy, I remember for me during both my pregnancies, like finally feeling like my body was doing what I wanted it to do was something that was like you're saying, like really important because for so long and still today, sometimes it felt like my body's betraying me and not doing what I wanted to do. So I would say hold on as much as you can to those gifts because they are real and are important.
Starting point is 01:01:23 And sometimes they could just make the other stuff just, you know, it's what you have to focus on. You have to choose sometimes what you focus on because sometimes there's just nothing you can do about the other things, you know. Yeah. And, you know, with regard to your eyes, I'm sure there are things you're going to be able to find out that you can do, actually. but in the meantime if you do feel stuck like oh this is I can't change this I can't change this then you really should go to the next thing you know what I mean like there's no point in sitting there and digging a hole when you're not going to get to water like that is just kind of reversing and you're resisting reality and you just and you want to be always moving forward right with respect to yourself when you need to sit and reflect and take your time to sit with your
Starting point is 01:02:07 emotions and what they mean absolutely but always with the ball moving you have a baby coming you have all this excitement to prepare for you have a husband that loves and adores you and I'm sure it as has he been good through this process yeah oh well that's great and so of course you don't want you know you don't want things to happen to you physically that you're not prepared for or that you didn't ask for but that's when you really have to focus on all the love and the light that is there. So just don't get mired in the things that you can't change and instead get mired in the things that are growing and can change. Yeah. Thank you. I think that that's really strong advice to carry forward. Yeah. And you're going to write down those three things that Jamie
Starting point is 01:02:52 said because it's recorded. Yes, I am. I was actually almost writing them down at the time. If you go to reframingms.com, I collaborated with Novartis on this three-step guide and it's all in detail there. Oh, great. That's great for our listeners. Yeah, reframing ms.com. Amazing. Thank you. Okay, well, thank you, Georgia. I'm coming to New Zealand. I'm doing shows there. Are you coming? Yes, you're coming to my city. I will be there. Oh, good. Okay, great. Great. I hope to see you there. Okay, thank you so much. Okay, bye, honey. Oh, that was cute. That was great advice, Chelsea. I'm taking that for myself, too. It's so true. You know, you just have to sometimes just shift the focus because, you know, I could have every right to kind of, you know, focus on all
Starting point is 01:03:35 the things that are not working and going. But, you know, I just what would my life be then? I have to keep moving forward, focusing on the good things. Right. Well, I think you're doing a pretty good job of keeping your shit together, Jamie. I mean, very inspiring. Oh, shit. Before I say goodbye, we'll take a break and come back. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple just combine your car and home insurance with bel-air direct and save get a quote at bel-air direct.com when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart
Starting point is 01:04:19 And these are the survivor files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.
Starting point is 01:04:57 Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books,
Starting point is 01:05:28 the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts see you between the pages hey this is hayes davenport and sean clements we host the
Starting point is 01:06:09 podcast hollywood handbook on the big money players network our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners each week we talk to someone in show business aka the biz and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can you help me shape this how about we flip it on its head how about we flip the script what if the surprise woman
Starting point is 01:06:40 who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird Adam Scott this entire time you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show I would never expect
Starting point is 01:06:55 I would never set expectations for something like that to happen if the universe allows for something like that to happen I am open to it. I'm always going to accept. You know, Danny McBride, fine. Yeah, it's all this fragile masculinity exuding.
Starting point is 01:07:12 I could smell it walking down the hallway, to be honest with you. I was like, is that weed? Nope, it's fragile masculinity. Ben Stiller, no. Because a lot of times, out of context, people don't get it or even know what a circle is. You know what I mean? Like, they're like, oh, what's a circle?
Starting point is 01:07:29 Everyone's so dumb except for you. And fake. Right, fake. And also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy.
Starting point is 01:07:49 Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility.
Starting point is 01:08:21 Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with Jamie Lynn Sigler. So Jamie, I remember I was listening to Messy and you mentioned some neuroplasticity stuff
Starting point is 01:09:02 that you've learned. Is there anything you can teach our listeners about that? So neuroplasticity, God, I hope I don't butcher this. I am not a doctor. Don't worry, I am. I'll help you out. Okay, great. Please, Dr. Chelsea, correct me if I'm wrong.
Starting point is 01:09:15 The neuroplasticity is basically sometimes you can build new pathways for function in your body. And it takes a lot of repetition and it takes a lot of work. And that's what I work on daily through my own physical therapy and things I've learned from wonderful different therapists. Like for me, it's lifting my right foot up. A lot of those nerves are damaged. But if you do concentrated, constant, like really isolated movements, the idea is that the body can figure out a new pathway to kind of get you there. Again, it takes a lot of work and it takes a lot of commitment. But these are the things that, you know, give hope, you know, that the body is miraculous and there's been many beautiful stories of healing. And, you know, again, whether it's me being a stubborn Taurus or not, like I still hold out a lot of hope for for better days. And I think that that's sometimes what gets me up in the morning. I mean, I read an article, I guess, about this guy who was in a terrible car accident and damaged his spine so badly. He was never going to walk again. They told him he was never going to walk again. I mean, this just happened to this guy, the skier, the guy that Michaela Schifrin just got engaged to.
Starting point is 01:10:34 He's Norwegian. I forget his name. He had a terrible ski accident. He could have died. Like, the ski went through his calf muscle and opened. It was like two seconds from an artery. If he hadn't been where he was in relation to like getting medical treatment, he would have died.
Starting point is 01:10:49 And he is up and walking like he's an athlete. So that's not a great example. But I was reading an article. I mean, it is a great example because it's willpower and it is strength of mind. It's fortitude. And it's like, are you going to let somebody tell you what's going to happen for the rest of your life or are you going to actually impact what's going to happen for the rest of your life?
Starting point is 01:11:06 So this guy who had no chance of ever walking again, just did rehab for 14 hours every single day. And not that everyone has 14 hours, but he was not going to take that diagnosis. He's like, I reject that. I reject that. And this guy is skiing today. So that's where I read the article when I was in Whistler, because I met a friend of his and she directed me towards it. And so like, I mean, he turned his life around and I totally, and neuroplasticity is a very, very provable thing. Like people create neuropathways, new neural pathways all the time. And as a very bona fide pot smoker, I'm constantly trying to create neural pathways because of the ones that I've burned through. But I mean, I'm firing on all cylinders.
Starting point is 01:11:51 So you know what I mean? You're crushing it. But yes, I would just say like everyone, I love that subject matter. And I want to read more about neuroplasticity because. Yeah, the mind is very, very powerful. And I think the biggest tool in your toolbox. Totally. We talk about neuroplasticity pretty often on this podcast from like a mental health
Starting point is 01:12:12 standpoint and like shifting your worldview, but it's really cool to hear about the ways it can potentially help people with chronic illness and physical stuff too. I think too, like what you believe is true. And I think sometimes when you have a condition that forces you to be in a doctor's office a lot of the time, you could be talked at a lot and feel like you have no voice in the matter. And you're being told what you're bought, what's going on in your body and even what you're feeling. And I, I fortunately have a neurologist that I started working with eight years ago that said to me, Jamie, I want your voice to be the loudest one in this room. And I'm so grateful
Starting point is 01:12:50 for that because he said, I can't tell you what you feel. I don't have MS. I live with MS patients every day, but you need to tell me how you feel, what you feel is going on so that I can help you the best that I can. And I think that it's important for anybody in life, no matter what you're dealing with, to just trust yourself. And then yes, I think the mind can be very powerful in any kind of healing. Well, thank you so much. This was so great. What a great episode. I loved it. Thank you. You should come on messy. I will. I would love to. Anytime. Amazing. Okay. Awesome. All right. Take care. Thank you guys so much. Okay, guys. So for standup, we added a second show in Sydney and we added a second show in prior Lake Minnesota, which is now going to be
Starting point is 01:13:39 May 24th. We added the Santa Barbara bowl, which is so fun. I performed there last year. That's August 17th, the Santa Barbara bowl. We ended a second show at Santa Rosa on August 2nd. And we added two dates in Hawaii, guys. I'm coming to Hawaii on July 19th to Kahului. I'm going to be at Kahului. And then I'm coming on July 20th to Honolulu. And oh, I just added another date on August 1st, Auburn, Washington. So and all my Australia and New Zealand dates are up. And I will be announcing a European tour shortly. And May 3rd, which is my mother's birthday, Norman, Oklahoma. So Oklahomians, Oklahomans, Oklomes, come. Bye. If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at dearchelseapodcast at gmail.com.
Starting point is 01:14:36 And be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at chelseahandler.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.
Starting point is 01:15:27 I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.
Starting point is 01:16:10 Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts hey this is hayes davenport and sean clements we host the podcast hollywood handbook each week we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman adam scott danny mcbride ben stiller and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us listen to hollywood handbook
Starting point is 01:16:52 on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts i'm nick taturo you probably know me from nypd blue the longest yard or spike lee's black landsman and on my new podcast delivering happiness with nick taturo i deliver pizza to a new guest i've shared a slice with everyone from Seth Rollins. What are you doing with my belt? To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Turturro. It's called Happiness. Delivering Happiness. And many, many more. Open your free iHeartRadio app, search Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro and listen now. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.

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