Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Related feat. Roy Handler

Episode Date: June 10, 2021

Chelsea and Brandon are joined by Chelsea’s brother Roy to talk about siblings, karaoke bars and unconventional relationships. An older sister wonders if she has to choose between her love life and caring for a special-needs sibling. A brother and sister think about spilling the tea on their cheating parents. And a small town girl considers sleeping with her best friend’s brother… again. The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees. This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all. Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all?

And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability.

Bell. Connection is everything. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements.

We host the podcast, Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle.

I choose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I do have some very exciting news that I will be playing the Santa Barbara Bowl everybody didn't I say that like a radio announcer I think I just did I will be at the Santa Barbara Bowl August 21st and pre-sale tickets go on sale today from 10 a.m. I said that like a radio host to 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. and the pre-sale code is Chelsea SB for Santa Barbara Chelsea SB for Santa Barbara so get your tickets to that and then if you can't do that come to the Mirage on

July 11th, Santa Barbara Bowl, August 21st. And then there's a San Diego date somewhere in there, Humphreys. You know where you usually get your podcasts slash tickets? LiveNation.com, ChelseaHandler.com, Ticketmaster, any of those places. So I will see you all this summer. Okay, well, welcome to our show today. I'm very excited about today's topic of conversation because our theme today is siblings. And we have one of my brothers calling in, which I cannot wait for you to hear. I'm very excited for that as well. I love sibling dynamics.

You have siblings as well. I have three sisters. And yes, I come from a family of six. And there's always one that's a big hot mess. Well, or it could be your parents, right? One out of all of them. And then sometimes some families have multiple hot messes. I heard an interesting theory the other day.

My sister was telling me about there is scientific data to show that when you have two children of the same sex the third child your body biologically wants to produce one of the opposite sex so that's why the third is always a tomboy if she has two older brothers or if it's a younger boy why he may be more feminine than his brothers because your body theoretically is preparing for the opposite sex and i said are there studies on that and she goes So yeah, yeah. Like it's in the zeitgeist. Well, my family on my dad's side, all of the men had one son followed by two daughters, all of the siblings, same pattern. Isn't that strange? Like what sort of biology is that? Well, yeah, it does make sense that your body would try to prepare

like, you know, a lot of people have three boys and then they go for another one, you know, and then they get the girl or some people have three. They're waiting for the girl and they're pissed. I remember my friend was so pissed when she found out she was having a baby boy. And I was like, oh, my God, that is so terrible. And then, of course, you have them and you love them and you can't even imagine it being any other child, boy, girl, you know, whatever. My sister, she had three boys and she was so desperate for a girl. And luckily she got it on the fourth try. But then there was another family right in town.

That woman has had, I think it's 10 or 11 children always trying for a girl, all boys. Oh, that is so icky. 10 or 11 births. Ouch. I know. They have to drive a passenger van just to put things into a very clear picture for you, what it looks like when you go to the grocery store. To put her stomach in there. That's where the passenger van has to go. She's probably spent more time pregnant than she has not spent pregnant. Without a doubt. Yeah, that's so much. It's so unfair what women have to go through. It really is. I can't wait until we can figure out a way for men to have babies. You know, let them do it all. Let them take that over. The closest thing I could come to talking about or relating to children is, you know, obviously my own experience with parenting, which is Bernie's Tammy and Chunk and Gary,

wherever he may be. Or Gary. In case people don't know, Gary was a dog that you had for a short period of time. It was a Bernie's Mountain Dog that you really wanted. And then you got. And did he run away? He was my only non-rescue dog. And yeah, supposedly he ran away, but that is hard to believe.

But also believable. I don't know what happened, what happened really. And I won't ever buy a dog again, first of all, because we just did not mesh. You know, rescue dogs, there's a purpose in it. It feels so purposeful. You know, you can't just love a breed. Well, you can, but I don't want to just love a breed so much and get that breed only. Then that's favoritism.

And I want my children all to feel equally. But I have to tell you that Bert is my favorite because of his body. I try to give Bernice the attention, you know, to make up for the attention I give Bert. but she's just not as receptive and it's just not the same thing she's an independent woman and she knows that he's the favorite and she has an attitude and i get it i like boy dogs i think better than girl dogs because the two girl dogs i've had have been very distant and the two tammy and bernice both had very similar personalities and that may be because they were part chow or they are see and i don't like a boy dog i mean i love any animal but i do not like to see

Well, Burt doesn't like you. I know. And I'm the one who went and rescued him. So I don't know how that happened. He was so excited that day. Ben Bruno and I rescued him originally. Yes, that's true. The OG rescue was Ben Bruno and me.

So technically, Ben Bruno is their father. No wonder he hates Ben Bruno. Yeah, right. Exactly. Burt doesn't really like men. I don't know where he gets that from. Well, speaking of sibling dynamics, that is Burt and Bernice. They are brother, sister.

They are from the same amniotic sack, everybody. They came from the same litter, Burt and Bernice. Yes. And those were their birth names, just so you know. I didn't even name them that. That was just good fortune on my end. So when he rounded the, I'll never forget the day that Burt rounded the corner and I saw his ass before I saw his face because it was bigger. And it was, it was like an elephant coming towards me slowly.

That was furry. And I couldn't believe it. I was like, holy fuck, this is my day. All right. Well, we have a lot to get into in regards to siblings. So why don't we take a quick break? We'll come back. I love using Bert and Bernice as a jumping off point for siblings.

Well, they are the dynamic duo. We'll be back. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus

from $94 a month, price guaranteed for two years on Internet with a two-year term and auto-pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files.

I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.

They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve

the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your

podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to

a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip. I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, aka the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can you help me shape this yeah how about

we flip it on his head okay how about we flip the script okay what is the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time, you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show. I would never set expectations for something like that

to happen. If the universe allows for something like that to happen, I'm open to it. I'm always going to accept. Danny McBride, fine. It's all this fragile masculinity exuding. I could smell it walking down the hallway, to be honest with you.

I was like, is that weed? nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like they're like oh what's everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode eight

before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney+, from $94 a month, price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the

survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives,

and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse.

Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility.

Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. in show business aka the biz and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show

we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can can you help me shape this yeah how about we flip it on his head right how about we flip this around okay what is the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile

masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this state everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode but he's just so busy listen to hollywood handbook on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts well our first submission comes from hallie hi chelsea my name is hallie and i live in boise idaho i've been a fan for such a long time and i know you have a

really good relationship with your siblings so i was wondering how do you keep that relationship with them so strong because my relationship with my siblings is not the greatest well I would just say listen I know sibling dynamics can be very very challenging and difficult and complicated because there's a lot of like injury that nobody even knows about like people aren't even addressing it so you're like holding grudges from a million different things that happened in your childhood and I would just say to exercise a good communication with them like just keep in touch even if you're not necessarily getting what you want back in that relationship just keep the dialogue going because people ebb and flow and go through things where they'll need your support or

you'll need theirs and because that line of communication is already open you'll be able to lean on each other in those times which will bring you closer and you know you can just be consistent in your communication and that usually will help cultivate a better stronger relationship you know as long as you're constantly communicating. So and think of being the bigger person and being like, you know, I'm just going to put myself out there and let them know this line of communication is open. What do you think? I think I was gonna say the exact same thing, consistent communication. And the thing I found with my siblings is finding ways that they prefer to communicate. So my one sister, she likes to FaceTime, my other sister is much more of a texter. My other sister prefers a

call like right when she gets to work in the morning. So again, like kind of finding the tempo and ways to communicate based on preference or where you know that you'll be able to have an in-depth conversation and taking the time to really ask, you know, thoughtful questions, not just, hi, how's your day going? You know, like, how are the kids? What are they doing? What are they learning in school?

Shit I don't really care about per se, but that she does care about because, you know, when they have kids, that's where all of their energy is going. So, yeah, I think you just have to make consistent communication a priority. Yeah, I think that's pretty obvious. So there you go. Problem solved, Hallie. The next one we do have on the line, her name is Andrea. She's from Ontario. She's in her 30s. And she writes, Dear Chelsea, this is literally the biggest decision of my life. My sister, who has Down syndrome, was visiting me at the end of February 2020. So just for context, remember, beginning of the pandemic. So February 2020, because we had a grant to make a little film about her. Then everything blew up and the week trip has surpassed a year.

Our mom passed away from brain cancer eight years ago, and Adele, my sister, moved into her own apartment in a group home, but due to the pandemic, all of her programs in Ontario have been canceled. I kept her with me and enrolled her in Whistler Adaptive, and now she doesn't want to leave. Every day, I ask myself, how can I live with this little lady for the rest of my life, but also, how can I not live with her for the rest of my life? I like to move freely through the world, and I'm having a hard time trying to figure out how I'm supposed to do that. I know family is very important to you what do you think Andrea hi Andrea hello that sounds like yeah that is a big life decision totally so what's the status like if you can have your sister what's her name Adele if you can have Adele live with you is there a way for you to continue to have some help with that yeah for sure like I have a big community we're from Ontario though so our

whole like my entire extended family is in Ontario and then here it's just the two of us and with the program that she's in are they able to help in any way for like vacation care or if you wanted to get out and go do something I imagine it's kind of all day every day but for the times you wanted to get out and go do something what is the restriction on your life with her being there with you um that part's okay like she's she's pretty high functioning like I can leave her and two days ago I left her for 12 hours like as long as she has food she's good I guess it's just like honestly the originally the biggest issue I had was I was really scared kind of feel emotional saying it like I was scared I was gonna die and and I'd be the only

thing she has out here and right now in Ontario she's like in the system she's really well cared for and I just felt scared of taking on that responsibility like for the rest of my life yeah no it is emotional but I think did I hear you when you said Ontario cut all her programs right? Yeah. Like right now this is the best place for her in the sense that like she lives in her own apartment in a group home, but because of COVID she's not going to the adult learning center. She's not engaging with people. She wouldn't have been able to see any family members or the only window in the last 13 months she would have been able to see family members was for like a month last summer and they weren't even allowed to like hug. So like, like right now I'm good.

I'm just thinking long-term what to do. Cause it's like, she's my best friend, you know? And I look at her and like, my heart explodes like every day. We just, my brother and I bought her a trampoline for her birthday and gave it to her early. And I've never seen anybody like when she's on it, she sounds like, like a giggling dolphin. Like she's just can't control herself, but then she's just shaking her hands and like, just can't contain herself. And she's funny. And she's like a little boss it's I'm just I was thinking about it like two nights ago thinking about you and honestly it's like death I'm like I'm scared that I might die and I'm scared she might die because we both watched that with my mom and my mom was like her big caregiver do you feel like you are

able to incorporate her in your life though where you still have a life because this is I think a common issue my partner's going through like his mom's going through this with having to move his grandma in because she has dementia and the biggest thing is are you still able to live your life without giving yours up for someone else's? I think now, like we found our rhythm for sure. In the beginning, it was so hard anyways, because COVID was so scary and unknown. And now it's been 13 months. We've like got our, our flow and yeah. And can I ask, are you partnered? Do you have husband and wife? Happily divorced. Okay. Well, that's good. I'm glad you got that out of the way. It's best. You have the rest of your life to live alone, which is really

where you're going to thrive i have a question though so isn't it something that you can take on like you know like a six month by six month basis if the programs are closed in ontario oh so you're talking about just extricating her from ontario for good and not even going back to that program ever when it reopens yeah oh i see okay because right now her life is preserved right like her apartment's there all the programs like she's in the system everything's good everyone's happy She's here with me. But it's, you know, when the pandemic ends and I think about it every day. Yeah. Right. And what is the downside of when the pandemic ends and her programs are back in place and she's got it all dialed in in Ontario with your extended family? What's the downside of having her go back there and you visiting her regularly?

She doesn't want to go back. She wants to live with me. Yeah. and she's she is thriving and she's happy and she definitely gives more to my life than she takes but it's just also I guess just being divorced like it's like this is the biggest commitment there is because it is forever like I wouldn't be able to just take her on and then six months later put her through all that trauma and stuff and then I also she talks about how she wants to be in BC all the time and I heard her telling someone that we're gonna go back to Ontario soon and pack up all her stuff and then bring her back. And, you know, and I'm like, like, and I don't talk about it ever because I don't want her to have false hope or not. But yeah, well, it sounds like you

have a really beautiful relationship with your sister. And like, I totally get it. I would do it because I would be like, how could I not do it? You know, I get what you're saying about that. So it does sound like though that she adds so much to your life and you love her so much. I mean, think about what you were just describing, like watching her on the trampoline like that is joy and like the meaning of life, right? That is it, to see somebody in that kind of space and to get to experience that on the regular. I think it adds to your life more than it takes away.

Yeah, I guess I have a fear of commitment, you know? Right, I get that. I have that too, I understand. Just remember, everything has been magnified in the last year. Like everything feels a bit more intense because of what we're going through collectively. So you've said that you've kind of found your footing

and your routine with her. And I think that's only gonna get easier the longer that she's there and that you'll just find more ways to incorporate and have your own space mentally and physically for yourself where she is not a burden where she is incorporated and you said yourself like she adds so much i think that will only continue i do and part of me is like am i just completely selfish and if i wasn't where i live like if i was in another country a different culture it wouldn't even be a question you know like she would just live with me but it's also okay to have those thoughts and feelings and want to figure that out because you're a

person and you're entitled to feel that way. Those are emotions. Like you can't help the fact that you're having feelings or thoughts. Like, yes, everyone has a desire to be selfish. I mean, that's not something you can beat yourself up for. You're at least being honest about it, which is a lot healthier than being in denial. The worst thing you could do for Adele would be not thinking about yourself and just leaning in and doing it because... Oh, that's a good one, Brandon that is good because it's true because then months later you build resentment you really should have taken more time to think about it so the fact that you're doing this now before making the commitment is just going to set you both up for success and I think her being there and

vocalizing to you like I don't want to leave that's definitely something to take into consideration but then having to think for her where is going to be the best place for you long term like that's Also, that is sadly your burden and responsibility. That may not be the result she wants, but ultimately, you know, because you're operating in her best interest, that maybe Ontario is the best place for her. And again, it would be a hard conversation, but you're going through all that right now. So it's going to take a little time for you to really hone in on what that looks like for you both.

Yes. When do you want to make a decision by? I don't know. Like, I was going to bring her back last fall and then everything. Then I was like, oh, nothing's really changed. So I feel like I'm, you know, I've taken her on to take care of her for this time. So I have to commit to that. I also feel like right now, like I can't really go anywhere.

So it works really well. And that's the thing, like maybe when the restrictions go, I don't know if it looks like she goes back for a few months to see how we both actually really feel and then kind of come back, have a healthy break. That sounds like a very reasonable option. And is that a conversation you could have with her and that she would understand and accept? i i've been trying to just position it to her that she does like live in ontario and like i

would never say this is a trial for you going back usually she fights me on it and then like a few days later she'll walk around my house and she'll be like oh i i need this pencil when i go back to ontario so she she does get it and she's yeah i think that would be the best option would be to obviously take a little space break and then i bet you you'd really miss her yeah i look her like in my heart explodes and I miss her like in that second knowing you know yeah and it's it is that pure joy but it's also like uh just like that unconditional love and like I wish I could have as much compassionate for myself as I do for her right well it seems like you have your decision made it's just gonna take you some time to reconcile it because seemingly she's not going

anywhere and even if she does she'll be back so I think it's just gonna take a little time for you to accept that this is your new life circumstance. And that's okay. Yeah. Yeah. There is a really incredible bond between sisters though. So I, you know, I know what you're talking about. Okay. But then part of me is like, will I ever date again? Or will we just be two middle-aged women living together for the rest of our lives? A question that comes up with me and my sister quite frequently as well. So that's the common theme among sisters. I'm going to tell her the same thing. I'm going to tell her the same thing I tell you. No, you're not going to be alone forever and it'll speak volumes of whatever person you end up with that knows like this is part of my

life and this is like a part of my life that i love and a reason why they're going to be drawn to you in the first place you know because you've taken this on and then you're creating a whole this great non-traditional family you know like that's fun and modern and cool and compassionate what adele will bring to that person's life like this is all part of it it's the mix of like personalities and love and affection that you'll have with whatever person you end up with next who will see that in her and like, I want that in my life as well. Like, look what she can bring to me. Yeah. I wouldn't worry about that. Yeah. Okay. She's funny though. She's like a bit manipulative. Like she's like, you can't date anyone. She's like, you're, you're with me.

How old is Adele? Adele's 38. And a lot of her, she's like an eight year old. A lot of her, she's like a 60 year old. That sounds like me. Yeah. Yeah. She's amazing for sure. And she's hilarious send us a picture of the two of you together will you i'd like to see okay i'll send a video of uh on the trampoline yeah oh yeah oh yeah and we'd love that okay and let us know what you end up doing please okay all right well thank you thank you all right nice to speak to you andrea you too that was probably the most serious yeah but very rational and no so cute i mean it's definitely a complicated situation to be in I don't know what I would do in that circumstance but it seemed like she knew before she even called what she wanted to do yeah like I remember saying

when my father was in a nursing home on the east coast I say to my brothers and sisters why don't we just move him out to LA like I can get him 24-hour care here or you know we have my bell and they were like no you can't take that on like you think you can take that on but you just can't And they saved me from myself. But that was a different situation because that's my father and I have no patience and I'm not nearly as, you know, loving and sweet as this woman is. So when you're talking to somebody who, you know, has an eight year old brain and they're like, I want to be with you. I live with you now. I live with you now. Not giving into that is really respectful. Like not just appeasing them because they're just in a moment and they love you and they're a little kid and you want to make them happy. So she's already very adult-like, you know, because she's made it clear, no, you live in Ontario, you live in Ontario. But I think that they should be together. I think that they will be. I'll be curious to see what happens over the next few months.

I really do hope that she checks in. I mean, I guess if these people check back in, we'll be a big reflection on the podcast, Brandon. I think a lot of people really just need a perspective that is not part of their bubble, their group. Because you just get so overwhelmed by what's going on. Like, think about her friends who are, you know, having this conversation daily. it's really hard yeah right to give an honest opinion good point and we don't know them so it's very easy for us to tell them things that they may not like but i shaved my legs this morning outside on the deck did you shave your face too no i haven't shaved my face in a while actually

i should probably do that but on the patio or whatever that area is and i cut myself bleeding and then my pants got blood on them and they're white do you dry shave well i was because the light was so great that I just thought, you know what I should get? A razor right now. That seems tricky. Yeah, it was. It turned out to be a little bit of a bloodbath this morning. Luckily, Felix came in first thing. Oh, did he? Yes.

Felix is the groundskeeper at the house. Well, don't say groundskeeper. That sounds very white privilege. Well, how would you describe him? I thought he was the dog walker, Brandon. Solely the dog walker? Well, no. I mean, I know he does other things. How should we frame this for people? I describe him as Bernice's boyfriend.

friend he is the best Felix yeah yeah he's much better than Oscar who was the last guy that did this job Oscar no there was the other one oh yeah let's not even mention his name he quit do you remember why what was it he didn't like that a gay guy was giving him oh right yeah you say that a lot yeah that you run into that a lot right gay guys straight men not respecting straight men I found to really do not like it if I have to work with them and give them direction on something very butch men don't give a shit who they get direction from there's like an inherent insecurity and they don't like that uh-huh and what about women straight women they love it no they don't give a shit but there's no ego in anything a straight woman does like if you give them direction

she's like hey we need to do it this way there's like okay it's so easy to communicate with a woman yeah yeah it's so true it's why men there are signs everywhere wear wear a mask cover your fucking nose or wear a whistle yeah i mean we spent an entire pandemic with signs everywhere were saying wear a mask and they wouldn't fucking do it if i ever see another man with a mask underneath their nose i mean i'm just gonna lose it i am i can't not say anything i mean i know it's kind of like over now but if i see it again i'm gonna get as mad as i did before it's like poking a hole in your condom before you put it on like it serves no purpose it's also just the most unflattering way to look at someone is to see them without a mouth like to see nose up yeah

no no no no that doesn't isn't it is like looking at a dick pic most people don't have the face for that. They don't have the face structure to carry. You have to ask yourself, do you have the nose up face? Although it is an adjustment to see people's whole faces. I am very glad we are transitioning out of this phase and I hope it is permanent. I think I'm just going to keep my mask on, but I agree. I mean, it's nice to have the option to take it off. I once slept in a mask, accidentally woke up with it. Obviously I was intoxicated, but I think I was so disgusted by the person that i was with who said he didn't think masks worked that i kept it on for extra coverage that yeah you're like i'm gonna make sure i'm protected after being around you i told you

about the guy went off on at the gym right i was walking down the stairs and gyms finally reopened here so i was really excited and went in for one of my first workouts and i was walking down the stairs and this guy was on the elliptical i mean he was barely moving had his mask totally off not even under his chin and so i beeline it for him and i was like hey hey put on your fucking mask and the people are all looking. And he goes, what's going on? I go, are you new to the- What's going on?

I don't know, a pandemic where 550,000 people are dead. I go, are you new to the fucking planet? I go, because it doesn't matter where you came from. You know what's going on here. Like put on your mask. I go, do you see this woman over here sprinting uphill on the treadmill? She has her mask completely on.

You're barely fucking glistening. Like, what are you doing? You're not exerting yourself, buddy. You have athletic induced asthma from wrestling in sixth grade. Put on your fucking mask. Yeah, and then take a puff of your inhaler and get over yourself.

Well, wait, remember that happened in New York City when we were filming my special? We were coming around the corner. We took a Pilates class in the morning. Two guys outside, FedEx workers, and they weren't wearing masks. And I was like, hey, guys, why aren't you wearing masks? And they're like, because we're outside. And I'm like, yeah, but you're two feet away from each other. Like, that's what's happening.

We're all spreading it. And two feet away from other people walking on the sidewalk. Yeah, right. And then some guy came up on a bike and he's like, you shut up. What did he call me? Bitch. Bitch. bitch and I was wearing my mask so there's no way he even knew who I was and I was like as if that

would be a little bit more understandable and I was like what I mean when somebody provokes me like that I can't not engage like I want to be like you will not get the last word which is so stupid but it's so ridiculous that they want to validate their behavior or become aggressive and that's oh yeah so I was a little in front of you and I didn't realize what was happening and as soon as the guy pulled up on his bike and called you bitch like i stepped up because i'm like you don't know what people are going to do right and he goes all you need is some fucking vitamin c you just gotta take vitamin c and then that's all you need there's no such thing as covid and i was like oh okay well now we're dealing with like you know a troglodyte right a new

york troglodyte it's just so unbelievable okay well should we take another caller i mean i guess unless we want to go on about those guys. The next submission comes from Jessica. She's in her 20s. We do not know where she is. Oh, it's a mystery. It's like Mystery Alaska. Remember that movie, Mystery Alaska?

Carmen Sandiego, where in the world is she? We don't know. She writes, Dear Chelsea, I recently got really drunk and hooked up with my best friend's brother. Tale as old as time, Jessica. I told my best friend I wouldn't hook up with his brother

because he's notorious for banging lots of women. Well, that should have been your signal right there. we all hung out and had a great time in the community we live in is really small so it could cause problems in the long run i've had a huge crush on his brother for eight months and i held out for this long and then i just fucked it all up because of whiskey and white claw also tale is old this time but now it's done and he expressed that he really enjoyed it and he hasn't been acting weird at all so the question is do i bang him again yes or no hi jessica hi chelsea just i can tell just by the looks of you that you're gonna have sex with him again also i can

already tell look at how happy you are yeah you're every fun girlfriend i had in college i'm not in college anymore i'm past that but i think i got worse after i graduated so yeah but whatever who gives a shit you get worse in what way that you like sex who cares that's what we're here for that's what we're here for that's what these ages for is to have fun and you know go explore and find out who you're into and for how long yeah problem is that i make the wrong choices and who i want to have sex with and then i get myself into trouble because of it as you can see yeah but it sounds like you like trouble then because you knew that he doesn't want you to sleep with him does your friend know that you slept with his brother by the way he does he does

and he wasn't very happy about it and he's assuming that i'm not going to do it again oh no he assumes wrong has he met you unfortunately when you say that well don't say that i mean i've met you and i can tell you're gonna do it again so i mean i don't know what without a doubt i mean there's no question in my mind she's gonna fuck him probably tonight okay you say that you get into like trouble with your decisions what is it that becomes problematic do you get involved emotionally and these guys are just pieces of shit or what no no i just i choose the most dramatic situations to be in so there's more to the story than just the email that i sent you guys well can we get the cliff's notes

cliff notes cliff notes development so i live in a very very small town so that's one of the problems and this boy who i hooked up with his ex-girlfriend happens to be my laser hair removal technician and she's batshit crazy okay well don't go back to her yeah or you'll lose more than you wanted i'm not i'm terrified does she know how many sessions have you done of the laser hair removal like five that's plenty you don't need to do any more i mean honestly i just wrap on that yeah i mean and just go back for a touch up to someone else obviously the other thing is i understand what you mean about being drawn to drama i used to be like how old are you i'm 27 27. That's an age to be kind of a fuck up. Sorry to say it. But that's like we're attracted to drama at that age because we're not fully an adult yet. You're really not an adult until you're in your 30s. But you shouldn't beat yourself up. Like I understand about making bad decisions. You don't want to piss your friends off. You don't want to piss your family off or you don't want to do anything that's so unforgivable.

so it's important to like check your behavior but at the same time like i'm sorry but your 20s are for mistakes in bed you know and like it's kind of like a coming of age really integral part of your life yeah and as a woman you shouldn't have to be validated by anyone else for your decisions like if you want to fuck someone you do it as long as you're not harming yourself or them physically or emotionally you shouldn't have to answer to anyone about that first of all it's very personal So even your friend, he should have no voice in this. His opinion, again, unless it's harming him physically or severely emotionally, you should be able to do what you want to do.

I know. I just feel like every time I want to, like, like I said, I'm not like the type of person who's a homewrecker. I'm not going to do anything awful like that. Just I feel like every time I go out and I find somebody that I'm like, I want to do it with you. It's you. I'm attracted to you.

Somebody has something to say about it. And I don't know why. i don't know why it's always just like no like you're gonna ruin everything you're am i only supposed to bang like complete strangers like i'm not allowed to do it within like the friend group because it's such a small community there are no strangers for me to go find like everybody knows everybody so are you can i ask a question yeah as someone from a small town do you make it dramatic afterwards because i know that sometimes that can happen i don't you go into it with like zero expectations and that you just want to fuck and that's fine but then

you get wrapped up in the drama yourself yeah sometimes exactly like if you're prone to a lot of drama it's usually because you like drama i don't i swear it's it's i think that the people that i surround myself with do maybe i feed off of that brandon should she have sex with him again can if he can keep his mouth shut if he's respectful of you enough to where you want to keep this very casual and non-committal and he respects that and will not tell anyone then you guys should have a good time you're 27 years old like this it shouldn't be such an issue everybody shouldn't be winging in who cares about his ex-girlfriend who's a wax esthetician like she has nothing to do with your life at all i mean they're not together right no i'm just worried

if she were to find out but all your worry is what if what if what if what if your friends are all worried about what if what if nothing's happening so stop fucking worrying you're gonna make something happen and you're gonna you're engaging the drama you have to be like hey guys I'm an adult I'm 27 years old if I want to have a little fun I want to have a little fun the other thing is if it's your friend's brother and your friend's really sensitive then you have to have a more adult conversation with your friend and be like hey like I don't want to ruin our friendship but like that was a lot of fun like what's the problem can I have a casual relationship with your brother or is he worried that it will get serious and you'll get your

heart broken right no you're right I should have that conversation with him well also because he he's made like moves on my friends so i'm like why can you do it to mine but i can't do it to yours exactly great because men want control over everything they're the fucking worst do not give in and don't answer to anyone you shouldn't even be answering to us in this scenario you need to go fuck this guy you need to get off the phone perspective that's why you're not doing anything wrong i think listen if you're in a small town the drama probably is a lot bigger than what it is you know what i mean it seems a lot bigger than what it actually is and so i would go with that and tell everybody just that you're you're not a little girl like you're gonna do what you want to

do and everyone can weigh in when you ask for their opinion that's true that's very true i hope that it happens organically if it does and that it stays where it should be but yeah well good luck to you and to the city that you live in maybe i should just move maybe that's that was gonna be my next suggestion when you're done with their move when you've gone through all those done their move yeah when you've gone through the enough guys in that town fucking leave it and just go to a bigger city where you'll have options galore perfect hopefully by that time i'll still have like the skin on my body after this woman lasers everything off well yeah you're not going back there so don't worry you'd rather deal with some extra hair on your beaver than

going back there all right bye jessica bye good luck to you have fun bye jessica is one of those girls that is just fun to be around and it's such an exploratory age it's also like everyone takes themselves way too seriously and that's the only thing i think that's advice to listen to from like a really early age is to not take yourself so seriously because that is the biggest hurdle between people and their fucking egos and the way that they're perceived and the way that they're coming across and the way that they're presenting themselves is ego it's all about this like sick cycle so it's like step one don't take yourself too seriously okay you go to the bathroom too i'm sure you've stained some underwear okay well this is a golden opportunity for us to get my

brother roy on the phone so we're gonna call roy and he doesn't know what's happening because you know i what's the point of explaining it i can't wait to see him to reiterate he's not asking for advice but you know this is going to be unsolicited advice and we just need to yes thank you oh hi Roy boy how you guys doing hi Roy Roy your camera screen is so clean is it no I'm sorry can you wipe it with something it's like very opaque where you are actually I would love for that filter to be on us because he looks just very smooth okay so I'm at Shauna's house I can go upstairs and do the wipe it down if you need me to wipe it down but my internet it went out so that's why i'm over here okay well does she have a computer cloth maybe i'd like to

see you a little bit more crisply okay okay great i'll give you some background okay so roy is a hot mess of our family he's kind of like you know the baby of the family even though he's the oldest so we sent him on sabbatical a couple years ago to get his life sorted out he went to live on an island in palau my sister got him a job somebody she went to law school with owns a resort so he's a chef and he went to pull out he lived here for a few years and kind of with you with me and it was yeah it turned it got pretty hectic you know irresponsibility having girls at the house who were asking for pictures in my kitchen at 7 a.m in the morning things like that kept happening so anyway so we were like okay Roy he went to Palau this little island off the coast of Indonesia

and Singapore maybe and he has been living there for the last I have no sense of time so it could have been four years it could have been three years it could have been six months we'll find out when he gets back anyway he came home he's done with that job he's over it he came back to live in new jersey he lives across the street from my sister shauna and he got a job but he's got a wife now who's in the philippines okay that he supports and she has two children roy hold on one second let me wipe your face hold on i heard everything you said okay perfect roy doesn't want advice from his family members right is that correct roy i wouldn't say that i mean advice is good but you just got to take everything with a grain of salt some people know what they're

talking about some people have no know what they're talking did you shave half of your mustache today no why one half looks shaved and one side doesn't but that's the least of your do you see what i'm talking about? I think it's just the shadow on his face. Okay. It's probably just the reflection. Anyway, great job cleaning it up. We still can't see you. Roy, can you give Brandon the rundown? You left for Palau when? I left for Palau in 2015 after I left LA. Okay. Simone got me the job in Palau. She has a friend who she went to school with in Emory and they own a restaurant in Palau. So they asked me to go there for three weeks and I went there for four or five years. And got married? I did not get married. We are not married yet. Oh, okay. Well, that's good to know. I thought

you were married. No, we have to get married because I'm not allowed into the Philippines with the virus thing unless I was, if I was married, I'd be able to get in, but I'm not married. So I'm not able to get in. Okay. So you're thinking about getting married just to get in because of COVID? Yeah, because that's a big mistake. Now I can't see her. I haven't seen her in 18 months. And the last time he didn't see her for a period of time, right? She had a baby with someone else. Right. That's correct. Yeah. But that was before that was before we started going out. OK, so explain the dynamic with you and your wife. Are you engaged? I was in Palau. I was working in Palau. There's not much to do in Palau. So we go to karaoke bars a lot. So there's

waitresses who entertain the customers in the karaoke bars. And I met her and I went in there almost right i'm gonna interject with some questions as you set this up when you say entertain do you mean like entertain or sing at karaoke they sing they do a lot of stuff they do you know favors and stuff like that but i'm still not super clear but keep going i told you this was a tricky case it depends on the girl okay she was a sweet girl and i i liked her and i walked into the bar the first time i met her she was sitting down behind the bar there was no customers in the bar and i sat down i ordered a drink and she was she had her head down and she was just behind the bar in a chair and she didn't say anything to me and for like 10 minutes and i'm

sitting there i'm like so i grabbed a piece of popcorn and i threw it at her head and then she looked up and she looked up and she smiled at me and that was that was it that was the start of your relationship that was the fire that lit the candle i met her at the karaoke bar we went out for a couple times and then she wanted she wanted me to be boyfriend and girlfriend with her and i'm like if you're working here i can't be boyfriend and girlfriend with you because i don't like you going out with other guys right we didn't know what she was going to get up to right and she said uh okay that's it then no more no more for you and she went out with another guy and she got pregnant and then she went back to the philippines so we didn't talk for like six

months and then six months later i called her see what's up and she had a baby and she was in six months she's an easy bake oven how did she have a baby those peanuts are very ripe they're very so they only have six months pregnancies okay well we don't believe in birth control okay and the other guy was just to clarify the other guy was a customer was a karaoke bar yeah yeah okay So he was a customer at the karaoke bar that she had a baby with and that you're now the father to, correct? That's correct. I am the stepfather of two of them.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Well, but you're not the stepfather, Roy, because you're not married. That's true. But I am the step, step, what you call it, whatever it is. You're a father figure. Step boyfriend.

Right. You're the acting paternal figure in their life. Yes. Okay. So are you formally engaged to this woman? No, I'm not formally engaged. Nothing with Roy is formal. Okay.

Well, let's see. Let's get to know that to know that. OK. Yeah. So Roy told me this story, obviously, over the summer. We got to see each other. And I thought, you know what? Good for you. He told me how he met her, the karaoke bar story. And, you know, years ago, I would have really laid into him and been like, what are you thinking? But I want him to be happy. And he makes her happy. So who gives a shit what the fuck she does? And I'm sick of judging women for doing stuff anyway. Well, that's all we want. So we're laughing, but you're happy. I'm very happy, yeah. I wish she could be here, you know, or I could be in the Philippines instead of this long-distance stuff, but... That leads me to my next question. What is the plan? Would she move here?

How serious is this? If she's still gallivanting alone through the Philippines with her two kids... Well, don't say gallivanting. Brandon, what are you talking about? Brandon, that's very... You're now being judgy. No, I'm... Gallivanting isn't...

No, no, no. That's judgment. if she's in the philippines first of all when i was in palau i built a house well i didn't build it her father built a house in the philippines a simple small house it was 20 000 bucks and they live in the house now with their parents and their sisters and all that so there's like nine people in the house so she's not she takes care of the two kids she's very loyal she's a sweet girl she reminds me a lot of mom like she's super super super sweet does everything she doesn't go out she doesn't go out drinking or anything like that you know she does when i go there just to have fun

but when i'm not there she doesn't do that she's very um spirited so could she move to the u.s could you guys form a real life together yeah she can move but we have to get her visa thing done which is working but it's not ready yet she's only been to palau so she's only allowed to go like three countries and one of them is palau and i think she's allowed to go to japan and vietnam but she's not allowed to come to the us and so how does it work when if you were to meet someone would you have to marry her there to bring her back how would the marriage work in terms of getting her here we met her off to marry here and then we can work it out in the philippines and once you get married that's it there's no divorce in the philippines well that's not going to work

out more recognizable if you get a u.s marriage rather than can she not come to the u.s with the kids just to get married no and stay she can come like an f like glenn's like olga did on an f30 f whatever i don't know h1n1 i'm not sure i think that's the bird flu actually did that so but that was years ago so it's changed the trip yeah i bet you would be easier to bring her over here marry her in the states and then she becomes a u.s citizen by way of marriage i think i can get a three-month thing where she's here for 90 days and get married and then it'll yeah and then so she would come over with the kids no she would come over by herself get married then go back right uh-huh okay well normally i would step in and do all this stuff for him but i have a hands

off approach now to my family let them figure it out and if they need me they'll ask right personally I hope that it works I hope that she's able to come over I hope that you guys can start a life together because what you're doing now is no life like there's no what are you talking about I have a life well Roy you have a life but you want a life with your wife and your kids and what the long distance and 18 month intervals I mean that's no way to build a relationship no matter how long you're together I mean relationships are constant work and so we laugh about it well all we want in life is for people that we love to be happy yeah I want my brother to be happy and she makes him happy so we have to figure out roy you have to put all your efforts towards

getting her over here with the visa and getting that shit sorted out yeah yeah no but yeah yeah this is a person who didn't have health insurance now he does well yeah but not because of himself so if he has to take the initiative you know instead of me taking the initiative is shauna there with you roy shauna no mike is here we're gonna share vodka soon oh that's fun do you and your fiance. What's her name again? Maurice. M-A-R-I-Z. Maurice. Do you guys have phone sex? We do not have phone sex. We joke about it, but we don't. We don't. There's no penetration. Thanks for clarifying that, Roy. There wouldn't be, right? Because it's phone sex. No. Well, right. So I don't even know what he's talking about. But anyway, I mean, I guess what

is the moral of this story? I wanted you to weigh in for him so that it was an outside family. Listen, I honestly think that as long as Roy's happy, healthy, and he has health insurance, so check those two boxes, that she's happy and healthy and that there's consistent communication about moving forward. Like, that's the one thing I wouldn't want either of you to get too comfortable in the dynamic that you're currently in to where nothing changes. Right. Because again, that's not a real relationship in terms of the process of building a life

together. So as long as there's movement on getting her here or getting you there, I think you keep doing it. Right. The thing is, with the COVID, everything, everything slowed down. So I'm not even allowed into the Philippines. Only Filipinos are allowed into the Philippines. So it's tough to get in and out.

But I think you should focus, Roy, on bringing her to America because anyone can travel into America. You can get her here. So focus your energy on getting the visa that's appropriate for that for her. OK, well, that was anticlimactic. And I. Well, it's still in process. So you're going to need to keep us posted, Roy. I would like actual updates on what's going on.

OK. What is the name of the podcast? by the way. It's called Dear Chelsea where people call in and ask advice questions to Brandon and me and we're a couples counseling team. So if you need any help with Maurice when she gets to town you know who to call. Are you guys special in couples counseling? Well we're the couple but we also specialize in other couples so it doesn't really matter. You could be single or a couple or a threesome or a throuple and we're here. We handle all dynamics. Well congratulations. Well congratulations to you, Roy. It looks like you got yourself a bride and it's going to happen

any day now. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. Well, I can't wait to make a toast. I'd like to go to that wedding. Yeah, we will. Don't worry. Okay. Love you. Bye, Roy. Love you, too. Bye, Brandon. Nice meeting you. Peace out. I love every one of your family members because they all bring something to the table, like something. Here's the thing, though. You dealt with Roy's health insurance. So you know what I'm dealing with, with him getting a visa for his potential wife isn't going to happen I mean I don't want to say that because I want to believe in my brother but I just know his habits but it will speak so highly of Roy if it does get done because it means like that was something worth I would be attracted to Roy if he could get that done well you don't

have many other male prospects right now so maybe you can get with your brother I'll get him to break up with his fiancee so I can date him that sounds like a Lifetime original movie oh you know who has a great podcast about Lifetime original movies who Sarah Colonna is it about Lifetime yeah only about life she and her friend it's really funny well i'd like to pitch you a project right now then because i would love to write a lifetime original movie called murders in the midwest and it's all about this guy in my hometown who was embezzling grant money that was supposed to go to native american students to go to college he was embezzling it and everyone in town knew what was going on he lived in a small 10 million dollar mansion he built a gymnastics studio no

one in town does gymnastics small town of 1300 people and was he gay when could have been who know so turns out the state found out what he was doing he went to a meeting where they basically said like hey we've backtracked all the logs we know what's going on he went home he hid a safe told his son's girlfriend that if anything happened to them like you know she needed to find the safe and killed his entire family that night burnt the house down with everyone in it oh my god that that sounds like a lifetime original movie totally totally it was a horror story can put me in contact with someone well that's a real our lifetime movies based on real a lot of them are My favorite is this one.

They don't seem like they are. Well, my favorite Lifetime original movie is this one called She's Too Young. And it's about this girl who everyone in high school is having sex and she gets syphilis. And her mom is Marsha Gay Harden, who I fucking have a love-hate relationship with. Sometimes she's on screen and I'm like, oh, my God, like you're like the modern day Stalker Channing. And then other times I'm like, please. Where is Stalker Channing? She's another fucking awesome person.

I love. Where is she? Gays love Stalker Channing. Oh, yeah. And Sally Field. Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And Frances McDormand. Stalker Channing reminds me a little bit of Frances McDormand. I'm not sure why. Probably because that no bullshit attitude. It's hot. It's hot. It's hot when people have confidence. You know, Stalker Channing was a good fucking time back in the day. Oh, yeah. Can you imagine her and Jane Fonda? Yeah. They would have. Yeah. I'm glad that they are still alive because if they did hang out, I don't know how they made it out of that. That would have been a lot of quaaludes. Right. But if they survived that period of time, that's why I'm still alive for surviving my period of time. Totally.

Which, can you imagine if I had been alive during the 60s or the 70s? No. 70s? They gave you permission to behave badly. Yeah, right. Thank you, ladies. Oh, man. Roy has a lot to digest after that Zoom.

I think he got more than he intended. Well, yeah. He gets, yes, that's true. But he enjoys it, and he's always a good sport about it. I love my brother, Roy. Yeah, he really took that in stride. Yeah, and I also, you know, like, I do want him to just be happy. So, you know, who's anyone to tell anyone who to be with?

it's like we are the last generation well i am sweetheart i'm the last generation of anyone that will ever have to learn to accept other people's choices i know but you know like in terms of transgender and gay and bisexual and binary and non-binary and and learning all these things like no one will ever have to learn this again i mean it but it is a learning process for a prolonged amount of time so like you will make mistakes you will have to readdress it and it's again you have to give people kind of the leeway and ability to make a mistake and still move forward so who knows who you'll end up with i keep telling you and i will stand by this i would like you to be a late life lesbian well that's your desire brandon oh i know all right well let's take a quick break and

we'll come back to that and our last submission is really going to thrill you oh thrill me thrill you we'll see about that behind every night spent making the kids lunches there's a lot of suspense Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability.

Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming.

They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.

I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place.

Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz,

and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can can you help me shape this yeah how about we flip it on his head right how about we flip the script okay what is the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always

going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity yeah ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like they're like oh what's the state everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio

app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is

and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran, or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I know how much you love an affair and that type of interaction. Oh, yeah. Assessment. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I like to hear about these types of things. Our last submission is about an affair. Okay. They write, Dear Chelsea, I'm 21 years old, living at home for the next two years to finish my degree. Over quarantine, I found out that my dad is having an affair. I was preparing to tell my mom when my sister told me that my mom was also cheating on my dad with our neighbor, who is also married. Right on.

So there are a lot of cheating spouses in this scenario. Wow, this is like Desperate Housewives. This is like days of our fucking lives, like sand through the hourglass. This is exciting stuff. Okay, we were planning on telling our mom about the affair, but decided against it after her cheating was discovered. My sister is older and has since moved out, but I'm finding myself feeling overwhelmed. he lies every day that he works late but i know he's at his mistress's house i know that because i broke into his phone to share his location with me as far as i know my mom's affair is over now

but it has been on and off for 10 years there are a lot of complexities here my father's affair has been going on for years too i had a seemingly normal and healthy family before i found out about everything and it makes me sad that i can't completely open up to my mom my dad is trash for other reasons but my mom is an amazing person and mother i'm planning to live with them for the next two years should i just avoid my dad and stick it out or is living here not worth the trauma this is i have some thoughts on this what are your thoughts well why don't you take it why don't you go first well i just first of all i think that relationships and marriages are much more complex than we are prepared to understand from a young age so you have this idea and this

archetype of what your family life should look like what your parents how they should interact with each other and the outside world but a lot of times our expectations are not going to be met because of these complexities. Like, maybe they have an agreement in place. You don't know the interworkings of your parents' marriage. So I think you need to give both of them a little bit more compassion in this because you don't know why they're still together.

Like, if there's still love there, I think that there are a lot of elements to any affair. There are extenuating circumstances on both sides, I would say. What do you think? Well, I would give your parents a little bit more wiggle room. You just said, like, you judge, you have such hatred,

you're so angry, you're so angry. like, why? You don't know what their arrangement is. You don't know what they've been through together. You don't know the nuances between their relationship. They might just be hiding it from you and not each other. But I do think it's an opportunity if you really care about the well-being and health of your family, like, to sit down and actually have an open conversation with both of them all together, like a family meeting. Like, you and your sister have all the information you need to know that you're living in a dysfunctional house, or it could feel dysfunctional. It might not be, but it sounds like it is dysfunctional and confronting both

of your parents. And like, why not do that? You know, that's a good way to participate in this because, yeah, if you stay there and you don't address the situation head on, I think you're going to get very, very angry and very resentful. And then that's just going to cause more and more drama. I think you could also, though, potentially just start investing some energy and time into your parents separately to kind of figure out where they're at in life. You know, if your parents are both happy separately how they're feeling in these situations I think as you get older you have to remove yourself from that parent-child relationship and if you're really curious about something like this you know have in-depth conversations maybe present it to your

parents as if you're going through something similar see what their take is on it that you're dating someone or I don't know you know what you really have going on but that you're dating someone and they wanted to cheat on their spouse or their partner with you and I think that there are ways to kind of get answers before addressing it with them to get a sense of kind of where they're at yeah yeah i definitely don't think you can just stay there and not say anything and i think you have to look at saying something as an investment into your like family's future you know this could be a huge turning point for all of you guys or they could get divorced and decide that they are not you know that they were staying together for the children and now that both of

you guys know it's no longer a healthy relationship which is also a healthy decision you know if they we're staying together for you like to let them know hey guys we both know that you're both having sex with other people so you know like the party's over well not party's over but like pressure's off maybe just like the illusion is gone we're not under some illusion that you're in a happy marriage so why are you together and what are we doing as a family i think that's totally reasonable and actually really responsible and i would be really proud of myself if i had done something like that with my family i mean my parents weren't having sex with other people but well maybe they were who knows who knows exactly i hope they were well i hope my mother was anyway

because if she had to have sex only with my father oh that would be sad well let us know what's going on please give us an update on if you do have a conversation with them if you find anything else out i mean this is pretty fucking juicy so i don't want to lose track of this story yeah i know this is probably one of the juiciest stories we've had so far so please keep in touch i would also like to encourage our listeners who have affair problems or are aware of affairs that are happening or in an affair or having relationship problems with their partner like you can call in together you can write in together if you want to receive our counseling as a couple I'm very good at that too and I think you think you probably are good at that too right I could be I've not

tested it out yet but I have yeah I've done some couples counseling indirectly but like you know if you have a friendship that's in trauma or you have a relationship that you know is in trouble and you can get someone to agree to do it with you we won't show your face unless you're comfortable with that we don't have to do that it can just be a phone call it could be a private zoom but just so you know we're open to that i think that's where i thrive sweetheart i think that is where you thrive too actually well that's a wrap on this i don't know that there's a better way to go out oh wow okay well shitsky doodle on that one um bye brandon if you want any assistance with your partner your best friend really anything you can write into dear chelsea project at gmail.com

dearchelseaproject at gmail.com. And just for all the listeners who are listening to this episode today, just take some solace in the fact that Roy will not be giving you the advice. I will, and Brandon will. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring

how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced these are stories about what it takes to make it out alive listen to the survivor files with elizabeth smart on the iheart radio app apple

podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts if your bookshelf and your for you page are equally important to your personality welcome home pro society is a weekly podcast that's part book club part group chat for anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of Discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.

I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle, I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. hey this is Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements we host the podcast Hollywood Handbook each week we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our

show we've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Nick Turturro. You probably know me from NYPD Blue, The Longest Yard, or Spike Lee's Black Klansman. And on my new podcast, Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, I deliver pizza to a new guest. I've shared a slice with everyone from Seth Rollins. What are you doing with my belt? To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now we We even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Turturro.

It's called Happiness. Delivering Happiness. And many, many more. Open your free iHeartRadio app, search Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, and listen now. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.