Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Saving the F*cking World with Celeste Barber

Episode Date: March 20, 2025

Comic Celeste Barber joins Chelsea to talk about making a retiree of her Hot Husband, instamommies who show up looking gorgeous for school pickup, and why she tells her kids she’s on social media “for work”.  Then: A baby writer wonders if it’s time to leave her full-time job.  A dad creates wedding drama out of thin air.  And a wife wonders how to tell acquaintances about her soon-to-be-ex-husband’s cheating ways… or whether she should keep them to herself? * Check out Celeste’s UK/Europe/Dubai tour dates here, and grab your Booie Beauty here! * Order a signed copy of Chelsea’s new book HERE! * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.

Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Nick Turturro. You probably know me from NYPD Blue, The Longest Yard, or Spike Lee's Black Klansman. And on my new podcast, Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, I deliver pizza to a new guest. I've shared a slice with everyone, from Seth Rollins. What are you doing with my belt?

To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now, we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Turturro. It's called happiness. Delivering happiness. And many, many more. Open your free iHeartRadio app, search Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, and listen now. Hi, Catherine.

Hi, Chelsea. Should we get right into it? Uh, sure. I don't see why not. We have an amazing guest today who is here from Australia. Oh, okay. Oh, you know her. She's an author.

She's got her own makeup line. She's a comedian. And she has the best Instagram, Celeste Barber. Yeah, and her UK, Europe, and Dubai tour is kicking off April 4th. So be sure to check that out and check out Bowie Beauty at B-O-O-I-E dot com. Okay, we're sitting here with my girlfriend, Celeste Barber. She's not only my girlfriend. She does a lot of things to a lot of people.

How did I find out about you? I found out about you, I think, probably from your Instagram. Because she does these, if you don't follow her, which you should be following her. For those of you who are unfamiliar, she does these great kind of, how would you describe them? Just ripping off idiotic modeling poses. That's exactly how I would have described it. Recreating them as a regular person. Kind of doing parodies.

Yes. Parodies of them. taking inappropriate, unflattering photos of myself and putting them up against models. And videos. And videos. The videos are really where it's at because you know when you see...

Honestly, dogs around me at the moment, it's a whole thing. See, this is why you need to watch on YouTube. Look at the tail. Let her sit here. It's fine. Okay, as long as she's not snorting into the microphone. Yeah, I know.

He made some questionable sounds the other day, Doug, and I was like, get out of here. It sounds like someone's farting and it doesn't sound like you. Anyway, she does... Celeste recreates, you know what I like about it more than the obvious, which is taking the piss and laughing. It really shows you how ridiculous modeling can be. Like what sexy is supposed to be when these girls walk around half naked, you know, with like their tongues

out of their mouths or just in some ridiculous pose that you're like, is that sexy? Like when did that become sexy? Yeah. But like walking around, you know, you know, holding a green smoothie or like you say, we're like with their tongues hanging out of their mouths and the caption is just dropping the kids to school right and you're like that's absolutely not what it looks like dropping your fucking kids to school that's not how and that's kind of why I started doing it right because it's like magazines are a pain in the ass and make us all hate ourselves and now there's this social media that kind of seeps in without us knowing I was like no I'm gonna poke fun of that I actually started doing it before videos were available on Instagram

oh really I've been doing this shit for a long time yeah but it was just photos yeah yeah well The videos really lend a little bit more context to it because we were also just watching this episode you did of Drew Barrymore show where you, this is an issue that happens. We get calls about this all the time on this podcast about body image and how to, how to, you know, everyone always, I can't get down to the size I want to get down. And it's like, I always want to give advice that is not about dieting. You know what I mean? I want to give advice about empowering yourself to accept the body that you're in and be happy

about it and learn like how strong healthy and vibrant you are and where your value comes from because it's not your body image that is paramount to everything you know I spent so much time in my youth and early 20s no all of my 20s just obsessing over what I looked like and what a fucking waste of time that is obsessing over being thin just and I know I'm 42 now so getting into the sexy perimenopause vibes which is a real riot and how it's like no no ladies you don't need to just do cardio anymore what you need to do is lift weights and i think i i wish i fucking knew that earlier about how important it is to be strong and healthy not just scared and skinny at all times so it's like skinny but grateful because you can fit into clothes and that body image stuff it's it's all

encompassing. It really is. What was that quote? Was it Kate Moss's quote? Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. That's exactly it. She set us up for this demise that we're living in. We'll blame her for this. Absolutely. But it is important. I mean, I think you're a pretty great example of being a normal size and exploiting that, you know, and talking about where your value comes from, because you talked about that on Drew Barrymore. So I'd love for you to say a little bit about that. Well, how I look is the least interesting thing about me and I've always kind of known that. Like I've never been, I look fine but I haven't really cared.

Do you know what I mean? I remember when I was younger though my mum said to me, we were going out, I don't know, maybe it was a school thing and school was a bag of dicks for me so I probably didn't want to go and mum got me something nice to wear and I was like, oh, no, I don't want to do it. And she said to me, you are scared to look nice. You are scared to actually look good because you think you can only do one

and you can't do the other. And when I was younger, of course, I was like, fuck you, mom, you don't know me. I look beautiful all the time. You know, I was always defensive. But as I got older, I was like, I think that's right. I think I'm like, oh, no, I just have to, my currency is my sense of humor, my personality, all those sort of things. People, you know, I'm very open with people and I'm not allowed to kind of be pretty.

But as I got older, I was like, I really think my currency of being funny and kind and cutting through shit is a really beautiful thing and it makes me feel like kind of really gorgeous in that world and you know it's fucking tricky because we want to point at someone to blame them but it's it's everywhere it's society just looks at women and goes if you look a certain way then certain doors will open for you if you don't look a certain way all the best sorry about that so like Even the body positive movements, like they put Ashley Graham on one catwalk and they're like, brilliant, we've ticked that box, you know, we're being inclusive now.

And I never started this to get caught up in the body positive movement. I'm very happy for that movement to pick me up but I kind of always did it just to make people fucking laugh and just to see how absurd it is. And I did this thing in my first stand-up tour, had a section in my show. I just want to say that the heavy panting is Celeste's vagina. It's me.

I don't want you to think that that's me or anything. They've heard that before. We have Mimsy on the sofa today, Catherine's dog. Yeah, breathing heavy about the podcast. If you're hearing anything, that's what you're hearing. Yeah, no one's listening to me. They're like, the fuck is going on in the background? It's like a doggy porn is being shot.

It's a whole other demographic for podcasts. Sorry to interrupt you. No, please. In my first show, I did a section, brave versus empowering. So when I would post a photo, whoever the model was, I'd look on there and underneath a lot of it, you know, because they're not usually wearing much, it would be like, oh, that's really empowering for women.

Yeah, look at us, but we can get our tits out and look amazing. And then when I do my parody and put my photo next to it, everyone said how brave it was, like how brave she is for putting that body out into the world. So a gorgeous model does it and it's empowering for women. Then I do it and it's like, oh, God, the children. Oh, it's so brave of her. I was like, that's not fucking brave.

yeah we have to redefine a lot of words in society absolutely absolutely i remember breaking my arm when i was a little girl and them telling me at the hospital how brave i was and i'm like i didn't try to break my arm i didn't do it on purpose i didn't run in front of a car to save another kid yeah i fucking fell over my dog like there's nothing brave about this yeah even at eight i was like that's not the right use of that word yeah and why and always with women and girls you're being so brave it's like no you were just fucking uncoordinated you fell over your dog it's Brian. Yeah. Yeah. You also said something on Drew's show that I loved, which is you, your husband is a tree. What is the word? Not an arborist. He's an arborist. Okay. Yeah. And

you were talking about what that means, you know, that he gets up and trims trees and, you know, takes care of trees, but you said that you've retired him. And we both loved that because we were like, thank you. Like, and that is exactly right. You love that. Yeah. Fucking loves that. he absolutely loves that handsome husband is her husband and he is handsome i've met him in person we saw each other in sydney celeste and i have had a burgeoning friendship for many years we keep running into each other in different parts of the world and they were nice enough to come to my show one of my shows in sydney yeah right and he is very handsome and i was like really hot i was like good for you like i love this reverse dynamic which is sadly to say a reverse dynamic

as we speak. Absolutely. And he is incredible about that as well. We have, you know, groups of friends where the couple, the husband is, you know, well, he's like a surfer or a professional surfer, but his wife has been looking after those children, taking them around the world on these world tours and stuff.

But Arpie, that's my husband's name, Arpie even points out that he gets so much more of an audience as being a stay-at-home dad than our friend does for being a stay-at-home mum. Like they'll be like, that's so amazing. So hang on, you do the lunches for the boys every morning? That's amazing. And he's like, yeah, my friends, like sort of those ladies over there,

but there's just no audience for it. And people always say how lucky I am. I'm so lucky to have him. I'm like, bitch, I fly in business class everywhere he fucking goes. He's lucky. Yeah, and you're also fucking flying around the world doing your thing and busting your ass. Yeah, it is so funny how imbalanced the like the reward systems are for men who stay at home. But I mean, I'm hoping that will change even in the face of what we're dealing with politically, because women are the reason why this election happened the way it is because men, I believe, is because men are so threatened anyway by women's success. And it's like, you can be as threatened as you want. We're still succeeding. There are too many women that are like paying for their families and that are the breadwinners.

absolutely and there are many women that are single that are doing it that are choosing not to have children and that's a huge threat to men yeah and that's fine be threatened but just move go over there and be threatened like get out of the fucking way and be threatened so we can just keep going yeah let's talk about your also you came when you were launching your makeup line buoy yeah buoy beauty she has a great makeup line that she just launched and it just launched here in the states as well if you're listening nationally if you're listening domestically Or the local radio in Arkansas. If you're listening to this on AM stereo,

that's how my father used to go, say, AM stereo. He's like, turn on the stereo. I'm like, where are you from, Philadelphia? Anyway, my favorite product is that eyebrow enhancer. Bring back the bush. Oh, yeah. Bring back the bush. Yeah, because the 90s fucking stole them.

The 90s stole them. And also, once you hit 45 or 40, your eyebrows all of a sudden turn into, I don't know what. A wispy little, same with my fucking hair. What's that? It's like all my hair has now started growing out of my face and my fucking neck and not on my head. Like it's thinning and it's not, I've got feathers.

I like the idea of neck hair. It was like goiter hair. And that thing where the other day I was standing and I was like, oh, this is really nice light. And my husband went, yeah, hang on, and walked over and just like went, yoink and pulled it one and out of my neck and I was like I didn't ask for fucking feedback he goes you needed the feedback before you film yourself you've got these long luscious locks that come out of my neck I know my sister's always goes like this my sister Shauna always goes like this

she's always feeling for her whisker to come in and I'm like can you stop rubbing your beard like stop plaiting come to think of it I just spent the weekend with her on the east coast and she wasn't doing that so maybe she learned her I was like you pluck your hairs before you come out She probably got someone to shave her face before you turned up. But, you know, no, the thicker ones, you know, the black ones, not the little like I shave my face all the time with an eye razor, right? Yeah, same. First of all, it's a great exfoliant.

It's so good. But then it gets a little bit – I actually did it before I came over here. Got a little bit of stubble there now. I was talking to a friend the other day and I thought she just had like a little eyelash here and I leant over and went and pulled, but it was connected and it was like a long one and I went, oh, that's connected, I'm sorry. And it was like really long and white.

She said, it wasn't there last night, it's here this morning. Like I didn't know it was connected. The joys of ageing as a woman. Yeah, you need good friends. But no hair on my eyebrows. So that's why, yeah, bring back the bush. Got to draw the bastards back in. How long did it take you to develop your brand, to create it?

Well, it's been in my head for a long time. But, you know, breaking news, ADHD. So I kind of, I couldn't get it out of my head. I was kind of at a point where I was like, I'm happy just to go to parties now for the next five years and be like, I've got a really good idea for a makeup brand and do fuck all about it. And then I met Claire, my business partner, and she was like, you're a lot and made it happen.

So I reckon we've been developing for about a year and a half, two years, getting it all together. That's great to get something off the ground. I mean, I've tried to develop things in the past and I've lost interest halfway through. I'm like, this is too long. I'm exactly the same. It's taking way too long. I don't care.

We launched when I was doing a world tour, which was great because already I was like, do we really want to do a makeup brand they're like we've sunk a fair bit of money into this idiot yes we're gonna do it I get really bored of stuff as well so and so what was your impetus like what was your ethos behind the brand well I wanted it to be makeup that you just you can't fuck up because I find like I said I'm 42 and the only thing kind of in the makeup space in the beauty space now for women over the age of six is like anti-aging serum or anti-aging cream like there's nothing really directly targeted at us it's like we just my 11 year old niece it's all for her and I wanted to make it uncomplicated and nothing that you need to watch a 75 minute

makeup tutorial to understand like I love makeup I have a face for makeup so I want I really do which was great when I was younger right because at school you know I look like a slapped ass but then for our year 12 formal I rocked up with makeup people like damn and I was like yeah you're bullying me now that's right i've got it going on so i fucking love makeup and i wanted to it's we've started with just five products and i just use every single day all the time to get you out the door for busy moms for i heard someone say the other day that when you're in your 40s like 40 onward you're moving into your invisible era oh my i don't want that like i just feel like i'm getting more excellent now i remember you saying that once you're like you've never been

in better shape in your life you've never been stronger more successful and that's exactly how I feel so and it's for it's for like Wendy and Wichita who's listening on the stereo it's for those girls who come to my shows all around the world they're like placeholders for everyone else in their life who are going oh I've just used the same stuff forever because I don't understand I'm like no no I got you this is fun easy and makes you it's all about like the best version of you that's what I'm interested in the best version of you and that's what Bowie does yeah and it's also low maintenance because I'm not easy I'm not into like I like five products because if I'm not on camera even for this podcast like you know I slap on some blush and some lip

balm and I'm like let's just hope for the best and I think that's what most of us do right I can't be bothered with all of the shenanigans around makeup and all of this stuff it's like taking supplements I don't want to do that either you know I'd just rather get a shot a week with everything in it and be done with it i'm exactly the same i'm my kids were given all these supplements a while ago and try and give kids fucking tablets yeah i was like you gotta have that at 6am you gotta have that at five you know and all these things and i just said to my husband let's just not give them anything and we'll pay for a fucking kidney transplant or whatever when they're 16 i'd rather that i'm not doing this shit how old are your boys now 10 and 13 do they

respect you no you just answered your own question no I'm I'm a lot for them yes sure no they don't respect me they love their dad do they think you're funny more and more now yeah oh more and more because usually they go through a phase between those ages or around those ages where they start to think probably like 13 to 16 more where they are like you're not funny you're not cool that's the age of right where they turn on you yeah exactly they're kind of getting there a little bit more my kids don't have social media and hopefully they never will they don't have they don't game or anything like that really but how do you how do you that's lucky your husband I'm really full-on about it like I'm really fucking full-on about it I'm just no I don't

want to and I have a really overactive brain and you know having ADHD low dopamine so this thing just fucks me as it is. I don't want that for my kids. We've just always been really full on about it and kind of feel like it's easier to say no from the beginning than give it to them and try and take it off them because they become fucking heroin addict monsters if you take it from them. So my kids and the poor kids, when we go out for dinner with friends

and all the other kids are on their phone, my kids come and sit down and go, I don't want to play Uno. I make them take cards. And all the kids end up playing but we're just quiet. You know it's pronounced UNO, right? No, it's UNO. Just so you know. So many more syllables when you say it.

So many. That's why you guys are like, what fucking game are you peasants playing in Australia? You're going, what, peasants? But how do they respond? Well, their friends are on social media. So my oldest son came home a few weeks ago and was like, Mom, my friends have found you on TikTok.

And I was like, are you good? Are you all right? And he goes, well, it's just weird. I was like, yeah, you don't need to get it. that's okay but it's what I do and you'll be fine and also and then he's like oh I don't know it just makes me feel weird I'm like well I kind of know Kevin Hart and he's like oh yeah that's better like if I say that if I drop a name he's like it's fine it's fine so you just have to play but how do you how do you justify you having social media as a profession and them not even

being allowed to be on it work I say it's work uh-huh yeah which which it is for me I'm hoping that we have been so full on about it that they have almost kind of missed the time of being obsessed with it. It's not like a known thing to them because that's what it is, right? It's just a fucking habit, picking up your phone. So I'm hoping that that has passed for them. But look, they have phones and everything but I ask them as well to call me out sometimes.

If I'm on my phone, I'll get them to say, Mum, are you working or no? And I'll be like, oh, shit, I'm not, and I'll get rid of my phone because I just go into a vortex or I just lie and go yeah I'm working I'm not I keep waiting like I guess this is kind of like similar analogous to the Kardashians like I kept waiting for it to end and it just kept going and going like I kept waiting for social media for there to be like a backlash on social media like no more everyone understands how damaging the impact of it is and what we're going to do I mean what we should do as a society which is like to take a break you know it's like all this misinformation all this conspiracy theory bullshit but that would

require like an enlightenment you know through like a global enlightenment and we're definitely not there no I think I mean I've been here for a week or so now but I think I saw online that in at home in Australia we're bringing in our prime ministers bringing legislation that kids under 16 are not allowed to have social media oh that's another reason to move to Australia another yeah but don't tell everyone to move to Australia no I wouldn't I'm just saying we'll ruin it there's so many places you can go yeah so i think they're looking to bring that in again i don't know how you fucking police that but some of the younger people too are like not using social media like they're either 14 hours a day or nothing yeah yeah and i think if you can get past the

window of it being so like i have three nieces and they're on social media but they're not addicted to social media yeah yeah like they don't post they post once in a while you know what i mean and I like that cadence more. Yeah, they don't post much. This is the thing. They don't kind of post much. The kids I've noticed, the young'uns, like the teens, early, early 20s kind of, they're not posters.

It's like the 20-year-olds that post and so those young ones are watching their stuff. My stepdaughters are 25 and 23 and the 23-year-old doesn't post. She might post once every six weeks because she went out to a party or something but they're not active on it which i don't know if i love because just being passive on it and watching it and just infiltrating everything you do i think that can be a bit more dangerous and actively partaking in it yeah do you have one of those limits on your phone where you like but ignore yeah ignore ignore my friend was like you can put a limit and i was like

you need to tell me we could fucking ignore the limit yeah every time the limit comes up it says 15 minute limit and then the biggest brightest blue button under it says ignore you go ignore like it's just easier how was your tour this summer after i left you after i saw you was it the summer no yeah i saw you after my tour i was in i was here may june fucking great but you did an australian tour fucking great do you love being on tour i love it what do you have i'm getting better at it as well because i i try so many different ways of doing having kids right and living in australia and having touring over here i can't just do weekends i'd love to do thursday friday saturday or like you know how you do it but i can't and we're not moving over here

so i just have to why not yeah what's the problem why has something happened is it is it not an amazing reason to move here have i missed something fucking hell it's terrifying so yeah i just kind of come over and bang it out over six weeks when i'm in america but so when i go home to australia i do try and do the thursday friday saturdays yeah and come home and i love it i love live performance. I know. I know. And it's also nice. It's also nice that cadence because you can, you know, you work on the weekends, you come home, you recover one day, it takes a day or two to recover from the travel and whatever you got up to. And then you go back out. It's kind of like the perfect schedule. Yeah. I just wish I could do that over here or make the same money I make

over here at home. Right. But you know, no, but I love it. Okay. On that note, we're going to Take a break, and we'll be right back with Celeste Barber. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files.

I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.

They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve

the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse.

Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita,

We share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is

and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with Celeste Barber. We are back.

She's our very special guest all the way from the Gold Coast, right? That's where you live? Kind of south of the Gold Coast. I'm still unclear about where. Yeah, I like that, though. I like people being unclear. That's fine with me. It's fine with me.

I saw someone actually when I was home. I was in a shop in Sydney, and she was like, what are you doing? No, actually, I was in a shop near where I live. She goes, what are you doing here? And I went, oh, I live around the area. And she went, no, you don't. I went, what?

And she goes, no, you don't. You live in LA. And I went, all right, I'm just visiting. I've just come here to visit. Sure, let's go with that. That reminds me of this book I read once, Rebecca Solnit. It was called Light in the Dark or Finding Light in the Dark or something. Anyway, it was a very profound book about being a woman,

but it starts out with this chapter about, and this is different because it's a male and female dynamic but she's she wrote she starts out with this chapter talking about how she was at a dinner party and this man came up to her and was telling her about her own book quoting her book saying like you should really read this book it just came up naturally in conversation she's like i actually i wrote that book uh and he was like no you didn't oh wow she's like yes i wrote that book that you're telling me that the one that you're mansplaining to me about I fucking wrote when you're telling me the plot line about yeah I wrote that also do you find this when people will probably not with you but in the street when they go oh hi I get

this a lot people like where do I know you I find that to be the most annoying question um well and they go did you go to so-and-so school and I'm like don't do this please it's not how you know She goes, no, hang on a minute. You're a few years ahead of me. And I'm like, this isn't going how I fucking hoped it to go for you. But then someone goes, no, no, that's right. You work in that cafe down the road from me. I was like, yeah, I do.

And I'm just taking the summer off. See ya. People tell you how they know you. And you're like, no, don't do this to us. Last weekend I was in New York City and I got in the elevator with this couple. As I was walking into my hotel, I could see that she was like ogling me and, you know, probably recognized me. So we get in the elevator and she and her husband are both like staring at me.

I'm on my phone actively pretending to be on my phone, you know, like, please don't interact. I'm not in the mood for this kind of interaction. I can already tell you're going to be annoying, you know? And she goes, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We're from Toronto. And that was it. And I went, what?

And she goes, we're from Toronto. How do we know you? Oh, stop. As if, like, you have to understand when you say something like that, what am I supposed to do next? Exactly. List my credits? Exactly. Well, you may know me from this.

You may have seen me on the Drew Barrymore show. Like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, it's so stupid. And she goes, it's just killing us. I go, it's not killing you. You just walked inside from the lobby into the elevator. In three minutes, nothing is killing you about this situation. You could have easily ignored it and just never figured out who I was.

Or made it up. Make it up. But now I'm just like, I'm Chelsea Hallner, and that's it. That's all you get, and you figure it out from there if you're not familiar. And was she like, no, you're not Chelsea. That's not who you are. She's like, Elizabeth Banks? What?

Okay, we're going to take some callers and questions, and we're going to give real-life advice. This is what we do here. Save the fucking world. That's what we're going to do. Let's go. Absolutely. Let's get the party started.

Well, Heather writes in, and she says, Dear Chelsea, I'm an avid listener and a longtime fan, and I can't wait to see you in Vegas. Thinking of going for my future ex-husband's birthday. Oh, love it. Love that. I've been married for almost 20 years, and we have two children adopted from foster care.

A few months ago, I was out of town with the kids and he welcomed an online hooker into our home. And when he passed out drunk, she stole my jewelry and makeup. He proceeded to blame the kids for stealing it, lied about it for days until I found the deleted text on his phone. I knew damn well a woman stole the things because it was so precisely done. I should thank her for the evidence. He wants to, quote, fix things, but I am not down for that.

we've had many prior conversations regarding infidelity and my firm stance of not tolerating it so needless to say i am done our immediate family and close friends know what's going on my kids and i are in therapy so my question is this how do i tell others mutual friends co-workers my longtime patients i'm a physical therapist when they say how's the family or how are you and i'm not sure what to say the honest answer feels too raw for some people but acting like nothing is wrong feels ick also what's the middle ground thanks for your advice heather oh heather i know i know well first of all you don't owe anyone no explanation i understand that i desire to want to be truthful and transparent when you're going through something because it's

like when someone says how are you and you're about to break down and you're like i'm good you know i understand what the desire and you have and you have every right to also be transparent to the degree that you're comfortable with so you can easily just say we're actually going to separate, you know, we're separating without giving them, your doctor's not going to be like, what happened? You don't have to say I caught him with an online hooker who stole my jewelry. Although that's going to be a good story later down the road. See, I would, I would say that. That is my advice. I know Heather did not write into me, but she's written. That would be my advice. Heather has taken too much time looking after

other people. I think she should say to her gynecologist, I'm happy you asked. He's a piece of shit we're in fucking vegas he gets some hooker she steals my shit she he blames the kids that is now i'm here how's my cervix i would just say it outright that's also an option also an option there's really there's really no losing way to deal with this situation don't worry about how other people feel about it yeah and i wouldn't also i agree when you're going through some sort of like maelstrom of emotion like that and you're dealing with break the breakup of your marriage like the last thing you have to worry about is how other people are viewing you who gives a shit and like yeah take this as a new license in life like our new lease on life like you're moving

forward and this is your attitude fuck off yeah fuck off yeah all right heather there you have it well our next question comes from amanda and she's gonna be joining us here brad we have amanda right she comes out from the kitchen amanda welcome amanda dear chelsea my name is amanda and i'm currently in my 13th year in public education while i'm financially stable, I am unequivocally unhappy. In an effort to change up my routine and job role, I've transitioned from classroom teacher to instructional coach and back again a couple of times, but to no avail. Despite the knowledge that I'm doing important work, I've lost my passion. I feel as though I'm at a personal crossroads and need your guidance. Since I was

young, I've always wanted to be a writer. I dabbled in music journalism in college and have done some freelance work. Though I haven't been published in quite a while and my writing is basically confined to journaling, I can't shake the feeling that now would be a great time to reignite that passion and challenge myself to completely shift my career trajectory. At almost 41 years old with a wealth of education and life experience, it seems like there's no time like the present. I can't fathom taking a pay cut, especially being a single woman living in San Diego, let alone walking away from the only constant in my life for the past 13 years. So where do I begin? I'm trying to get back to structured writing time, connect with friends

who are already successful in the industry and even have the opportunity to reconnect with a former writing coach. I guess I'm just hoping for some insight from someone who I admire and respect. How do you hold yourself accountable and practice the self-discipline needed to be a success in this field? How do I pursue this avenue that lacks job security? My next steps feel murky, and for the first time in my life, I'm scared to take the leap. Amanda. Hi, Amanda. Hi. First of all, it sounds like you're doing all of the things that you need to be doing to get the party started. Yes, and And since I've written in, I've essentially given myself permission to exit this profession. I started to realize how emotionally drained I've been at the end of every workday, left

no room to try to focus on this like creative endeavor. So I've been very aggressively looking for new work that will just pay the bills, but let me focus on, you know, my personal hobbies and where I'd like to kind of go professionally. Yeah, like under the assumption that the writing isn't going to pay dividends right away, right? You need something to like tide you over while you're exploring the writing. Right, exactly.

So do you know what that's going to be? Or is that one of your questions? Well, that's just kind of still, I've actually been working with a job coach to like update my resume. And because applying for jobs is so different than it was 13 years ago, that I've had to do a lot of kind of work on that end

to get the applications out there. So that's what I'm just trying to be really focused on doing so I can get to a better place where I'm not so miserable going to work every day. Absolutely. That's not that's not going to give you any energy to be creative. Right. Exactly. So now it's just kind of like continuing to put that out there and just starting to like build in some structured writing time. I guess like my big questions are kind of like how to hold yourself accountable for something that's like seemingly done in isolation. Well, easily. I mean, it's kind of like everything you do in isolation, like whether you meditate, whether you like, do your positive affirmations, whether you actually like I do all of those things. I exercise alone. Mostly I have a trainer, but that kind of feels like I'm alone anyway, because of his personality. But I, I do with writing. I'm, I don't really, I'm not a big person about structure. Like I kind of like let the when I'm feeling motivated or inspired, like, you know, when I read something really great, that makes me want to write something, you know, so my creative, my creativity, I should say, comes in bursts. It's very unstructured. I have a new book. And that took like three years because I started one place. I changed it many times. But I think for someone who craves structure and Celeste, obviously chime in whenever you feel like because she's a creative too. I didn't even introduce our special guest Celeste Barber. I'm sorry. but I would just schedule yourself. Like if you sit down for, even if it's 30 minutes a day,

it sounds like you're going to be wanting to even write more than that. You're going to be wanting to write for an hour, a couple of hours a day. Once you start doing that daily, like you, where you put your phone away, you put your stuff away and you just sit at your desk or whatever place that gives you the most inspiration in a structured way, really put yourself in there, set your alarm somewhere, you know, in the house for two hours later and sit there. And like the act of creativity begets the act of creativity absolutely once you start writing like whatever like if I have to write a new hour for stand-up you know whenever I film a special whenever we film a special you have to write another new hour of material like whenever I have to write new

material I'm like oh you know it's like a hurdle it's what am I going to write about what am I going to talk about absolutely and I'm the same with you my creativity and like when I wrote my book it again it came in bursts so you know it'd be dinner time and I'd be like oh right so I'd sit at the kitchen bench while my husband did everything and I'd be like I've got it just kind of came but then for my last hour for my new tour that I'm doing I did exactly what you're saying I just set a timer I literally set a timer I took the kids to school set a timer for three hours in my office and was like I'm not moving from here right it doesn't matter kind of what you're writing but then you find with that structure and being a creative that even after it could be after

10 minutes after an hour and a half, you're like, oh no, there's real flow here. You just, you just have to make yourself do it. Yeah. Yeah. And allotting a certain amount of time is a very good way to just kind of, you get in the habit of it because then before you know it, you're spending more time doing it. I'm always writing in my notes section too, like little ideas for things, or this could be a good joke or this is a good punchline or whatever, you know, those will happen throughout the day, you know, and as the more honed in you get on creativity, the more creative you become. So I think everything that you've said you've done, it's like most people haven't done all those things. So you're already like more than halfway there. And I think what

follows is going to be just a very natural progression for you. Okay. Thank you. Are you already doing that? Um, I am. No, I'm not in terms of the creative writing. I'm not there yet. What do you want to write about? Right now, I'm kind of looking more like on the novel side, kind of just like leaning from some personal life experience, but writing, trying to fictionalize it a little bit more. And I think part of the hesitance with that is sometimes I have to go to like really painful, dark places to get that out. And while I know the end product is catharsis when it comes to just like getting it out

there. I think sometimes when I'm like, I have to go there, I kind of like try to keep it at an arm's length and almost avoid. Well, I would, I can speak from experience that you want to get as close to all of that stuff as possible, because that's where all of your, you know, your, your personal stories. I mean, you can't lose with that stuff. And while you might think it's going to be scary or something hard to difficult emotions to face. Once you face those emotions you realize how much you overestimated your own security now like when you're looking back at something you can you can be fearful of it and then once you face it you realize you have nothing on me and it's quite cathartic to write about the pain that we experience in our lives

and I find as well the thought of writing about it or the thought of dealing with it in a creative sense is always much more terrifying and daunting than actually doing it in my experience because it's catharsis as you say the idea of sitting down and having to dive into something is is too big and so you avoid it but once you're in it it's it's it can be very fulfilling I'd also say do the easy chapters first do the fun light stuff first do even just start that that structure idea of setting an alarm and write the nice fun stuff just to get yourself into that routine and into that discipline before you have to go deep. Absolutely. Thank you. How would you approach, you know, like, obviously I'm thinking much longer term, like long run at this point,

self-publishing, reaching out to publishers. What, what might that process look like? I think that this whole media world is so different. Everything is changing so fast. everything is online everything is about striking a chord it doesn't like these old world publishers like yeah they can be an advantage in many respects but also people are self-publishing all the time and the most important thing to do is like to get a dialogue going with people so like to think about social media as a useful way for you to see out your career strategy right to use that to use these platforms you know whether you're writing little snippets every day of like motivational things for people or funny little like snippets of like you know a

couple lines of a funny story or an experience that happened to you at the grocery store something that can relate to other people and get them interested in what you're giving them you know and then you're building an audience and you're building like a fan base almost you know of relatability so that that kind of gives you more of an avenue if and when you do decide to self-publish but in terms of reaching out for publishers you just kind of have to knock on doors and try to get yourself a literary agent. I don't think that's the only way to do that anymore. I agree with social media.

Absolutely. There's an audience for everything now, an audience for everything and anything now. And yeah, kind of teasing it out. Then you get people, followers who are like, oh, actually that resonates with me and they follow along and they want to know more. And yeah, then you build an audience

and you don't always have to do it the traditional way anymore of going to a publisher. And you always have to know that there is an audience. When you're talking about your point of view, about something there's always an audience you you know like don't underestimate the value of that because if you're sharing your personal life there are always going to be other women whether they're in the same area as you or in the same age group as you like somebody I think of is Caitlin Murray do you know Caitlin Murray she she talks about just what a pain in the ass it is

having children while she still loves her children and she's developed this huge following which led to a book which led to she has her own podcast now you have to figure out like what your currency is right big time adulting is her uh instagram and this woman is really fun and has three children and is just like you know what they never told you about parenting you know what they never said is that when you drop your fucking kids off you just want to sit in your car and smoke a joint for three hours you know like and and how unkempt her life is but she's a great example of finding that niche that is going to register with other people and resonate with other people, and then building from there. And if you're talking about writing fiction, you know,

maybe there's cute little like stories you could tell about your daily activities or interactions that you've had with people, just really start to think about like, what what kind of messages are you trying to send out? You know, what is your kind of hook to get people and it might take a while, but you'll be surprised at how easily you can grow something when you're sharing parts of yourself with other people because everyone kind of wants that you know people want to hear other people's stories they want to hear other people's trials and tribulations and it takes a lot of work don't be disheartened by that don't think oh this is really really hard I probably shouldn't be it's it's really fucking hard I think to have self-discipline especially you know as a woman

going you don't have to ask permission to start an Instagram account to start putting these quotes up like Chelsea's saying or to start reaching out it takes a lot of work and you can also even have an Instagram post where you're where you post a video saying hey I'm somebody who's recent you know newly career free I'm looking to develop a career in writing I'm looking to develop a career in fiction writing if anyone out there wants to join like a group with me you know where you can talk to other writers like really put yourself out there because you'll be surprised at how responsive people will be in your community and how many other people may be like-minded or may know somebody who's like, oh, I can hook you up with this person. Yeah, I love that too because

I feel like having accountability partners is super important for me. Otherwise, I'm like, oh, I got this. And then three years later, draft one is still in motion. Yeah, but definitely sit down and give yourself that a lot of time. Whatever is doable and manageable for you, make sure you do that every day for at least five days a week for the next month. And I promise you by the end of the month, you'll be spending more than your allotted time doing it. Perfect. And also good for you for quitting a job that's not. Yeah, absolutely. Amazing. Absolutely. That's massive. Yeah, it's I mean, we don't need to go there, but I'm scared to see what's going to happen in education in the next four years anyway. So I don't blame you. I don't blame you. Something

happened. No, nothing happens here. She's from Australia, so she doesn't watch the news. She doesn't know what's happening. It hasn't been all over the Australian news either. What's going on? No, Australia is so too far away to know about America. Good for you to stay there. All right. Thank you so much, Amanda. Check in with us, okay? Bye.

Well, thank you all so much. I appreciate your time today. Bye, Amanda. Good luck with everything. Thank you. I will also send this to her, but BookTok, I have heard, has been very helpful for a lot of authors. BookTok.

BookTok. T-O-K on TikTok. Oh. The books area on TikTok. Oh. I get all my recommendations from there. I know a couple authors who are like, this is the way I've gotten my self-published novel. novel out there. And they post about all kinds of stuff. A lot of people self-publish now. Yeah.

Yeah. So, well, our next caller is Sarah. She says, Dear Chelsea, my brother proposed to his longtime girlfriend over the summer and asked our parents to help fund the wedding. Pretty normal stuff, but I found out there's some tension about money, the wedding location, other details. Not super fun, but I guess that's typical for a wedding where everyone's a decision maker. A while back, my brother's fiance called to let me know that they've decided to keep the wedding parties small, just two people on each side, and they wanted to make sure I was okay with not being part of the bridal party. Her sister and best friends are the two bridesmaids. I was honestly fine with it, and I wasn't expecting to be included. They even asked me to be the witness

when they signed the documents, so I felt I left the call feeling totally okay. Fast forward a couple of weeks, and my brother's fiance calls me stressed out. Apparently, my dad has been sharing his opinion that it's incredibly hurtful and mean that I'm not in the bridal party. He's even told her that even though I've said I'm fine, I'm just being nice and would never reveal how I really feel. My dad claims he only shared his thoughts with my brother, but my brother's fiance showed me his texts and they tell a different story. I get where both sides are coming from. Weddings don't look like they did in the 80s, but I don't agree with how my dad is handling it. I've been staying out of it, but we're still a year out from the wedding and this bridal party drama is

creating unnecessary tension around an event that's supposed to be joyful. Should I step in or stay out of it. Sarah. Hi, Sarah. Hello. How's it going? Hi. This is our special guest, Celeste Barber today. Hi, Sarah. How are you? Good. You look sweet. Very sweet. First of all, weddings aren't fun. I'll just say that up front. As someone who has had one, my wedding was the best. Everyone says that about their wedding. But I think you're right in not being a part of the bridal party. Being a part of the bridal party is an absolute pain in the ass. Pain in the ass. It's a nightmare. So I think you've made an excellent decision,

especially now that you're still a year out from this wedding and already the bridal party has been picked. This seems like a little bit of a high-maintenance wedding. I think you've done a very good job of staying out of it. Well, it's not her choice to stay out of it. They've kind of just basically decided that she was going to stay out of it. But not having the shits about it, not going, but I want to, but I want to. I think it's very good to be like, great, I can actually wear what I want

and get blackout drunk at the beginning. And how do you actually feel about not being in the wedding party? I mean, I'm honestly pretty indifferent. I don't think I really expected it. It's not like, it's not something that I just like, I'm aware of as being a tradition. Like, I know that like, I have some family who like would do that. And like, they'll have like a much larger bridal party. But so many people I know are just doing things so differently that my expectations were so low, if non-existent. So. well that's very healthy attitude I mean okay I mean I think if it was like yeah I'm gonna have eight people and like this girl I just met yesterday is also part of my bridal party but I just can't include you then I'd be a little concerned but I'm not her sister or her friend that's you know known her whole life so I don't really kind of expect to be in that right to minimum so no I think you're absolutely right on the money I like I don't I don't like any drama

like regarding stuff like this it's so stupid you know like let people do what they want to do but what did your dad write in the text that you saw to her oh my god I don't even I don't even remember off the top of my head it was it was just very like you're just being very mean we really don't like this we really don't like the way that it's setting the tone for the future it was just like a long kind of paragraph and he was like you know very insistent on like no I'm just trying to do this with my brother he's just I'm just trying to communicate with my brother I'm not trying to like involve anyone else but I'm like but you literally sent a text to her so now that she has a physical that is wild she's dad's got opinions wow that's got big feelings i

was just kind of like surprised at the intensity it's one thing to be like oh well like from you know my my you know nephew's wedding his wife had my you know cousin as part of the bridal party but like that's maybe one example maybe just a few examples and you can't just rely on just a few examples as like the norm and so yeah but also your dad just should also chill out he's a nosy Nellie you should and you've talked to your father about this right I mean a little bit I mean like he tried to get you know I kind of really just tried to stay out of it and really just tried to kind of like not respond for a while because I was just like I don't want to deal with this it sounds like your dad wants to be a bridesmaid that's what it sounds like

sounds like your dad's pissed that he's not a bridesmaid is it is your dad just is your dad upset the just the fact that you haven't been asked to be a bridesmaid or is there other things to do with the wedding that he's also not stoked about? I mean, there's probably other things too. So it's probably just layered on top of it. Like part of it's a destination wedding. You know, there's a lot of money involved. There's who gets invited, all of that stuff. And so there's, I'm sure, a plethora of other things. Well, a good way to nip it in the bud permanently would be to send them a text, your father and your brother and his fiance, a thread and be like, hey guys, I noticed there's been some dissension about my involvement in the wedding and the

wedding party. And I just want you to hear it straight from me. I am completely indifferent, like what you just said, to being in your wedding party. There are no issues for me. So I wanted to make that clear to my future sister-in-law, my brother and my father who are all on this chain. This is not an issue for me. Because then what does your father have to say? Then he has to complain about what he's really upset about, which is paying for this destination wedding. Exactly. And then he'll respond by just going, dad left the chat. Yeah, that's a good idea. It hasn't really been brought up lately, but, you know, there's many months out. I'm sure it'll get brought up again. And so I feel kind of confident. Yeah, but I think your attitude is right on the money. Like, don't get involved in wedding drama. Wedding drama is the most annoying drama.

Especially destination wedding drama. And all for this one day, you know, like, I understand weddings are important to people, but it's like, just relax. It's so uncool when people get like their panties in a twist about it. It should be a celebration. Not, yeah. It's a big party with an open bar. Like, just have fun, right? Well, if you're lucky, it has an open bar. I had a couple of people that invited me to weddings that didn't have an open bar. I guess they didn't go to that wedding. You didn't go to that wedding?

You didn't bring your own party favorites? No. Sometimes I bring my own bar if I have to. My cousin had a wedding. He's like, we're just doing beer and wine. I'm like, that will be my gift to you is the bar. Because if you're going to have a wedding like that, I won't be there unless there's a bar. And you don't want people having beer and wine.

Where does that get you? Messy. I'm fucking sick of wine anyway. Sick of people talking about wine. anyway so do you think she needs to like specifically talk to her sister-in-law at all no you're not involved in this like if you want to but i would just send a text to all three of them so yeah that way in the bud it's like in writing they can't keep talking about it you know this was not sent under duress yeah i don't know where this conversation came from but i just want

everyone to know where i'm coming from so that there's no confusion i'm totally fine with this i'm happy you guys are getting married i can't wait to go to the wedding see you there dad dad have a day off yeah thank you okay take care awesome thank you so much she seemed like such an innocent she's so sweet so sweet and i love how she's like i i don't care i'm so fine with it it's almost like you know some when she was giving all the reasons like well you know cousins sometimes put their and it's like who told you that like it's almost like you've dodged a bullet girl you've dodged totally being a bridesmaid is a pain in the ass that's the worst i know someone who had, I think, 16 bridesmaids

because she didn't want to leave anybody out. I don't have that many friends. I don't know 16 people. In my 42 years of being alive, I have not had 16 friends over that time. That's ridiculous to me. Ridiculous. No, it was crazy.

Crazy, crazy. Okay, well, let's take a quick break and we'll be back to wrap up with a little light one. Okay, we're going to take a break. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save.

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on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts we're back now we are back so caroline writes and this specifically i would love for us less to weigh in on of course you chelsea too but thank you for this might be a celeste question Dear Celeste, I've been with my husband for 17 years, and he's always had a strong body odor. The last few years, though, it seems that it has gotten stronger. He's given up using standard aluminum-based deodorant and only uses natural brands. I've run the gamut, trying to help him find a good deodorant that covers his smell, but it just doesn't cut it. He has great hygiene. He showers once to twice daily, but he still stinks.

He's also very sensitive and embarrassed about his B.O., and I have to tread lightly when asking him nicely to change his shirt, put on deodorant, et cetera. I think it may be related to stress or diet, or maybe it's just his genetic makeup. Regardless, it's hard for me to hug him or be intimate without wanting to hold my breath. It's that bad.

Whoa. Please help. How can I get his stinky ass smelling better, Caroline? Absolute red flag. If he wants to use natural deodorant. deodorant i would my husband went through a phase where he's like i want to just use natural deodorant i was like well then you can go and find a nice pretty new wife absolutely not and he doesn't have any body odor issues yeah delicious but that is a absolute deal breaker for me i find

it has he i wonder if he's been to the doctor is this something where i would get like botox shots well not only that but yeah botox shots you can get under your arm fyi to stop sweating but if he has a natural like a strong odor that like that it usually does have something to do with your ph balance or your diet so like he should go to a doctor and he should be proactive about this because you're his wife and you've been married to him for what 17 years a thousand years so that's like yeah and i don't care if he's sensitive about it like you need to figure out a solution to this problem that you're having to endure because your husband hasn't figured it out yet and going to a non-aluminum based deodorant is not the answer he's going to a studio apartment down the street

there's no way and if you're getting to a point where you can't hug him because he's it's so gross he needs to get that sorted out i can't believe you've endured 17 years though of like of someone with body odor i once dated a guy who's had body odor and i had it wasn't it wasn't body odor there was like a smell that emanated from him and it was it was very strong in the morning and it was like it was almost like his he had a scent like sometimes your pheromones don't match you know what i mean that's a thing absolutely yeah well it's a little late to find out for her because it's been 17 years i don't know if this is a pheromones thing i mean also get in the clothes spin and close your nose with it so that you do not have to breathe in his malodorous scent get

one of those necklaces for essential oils yeah yeah you're gonna have to start experimenting but you need to go to a doctor and talk to somebody openly about him i don't care if he's sensitive he needs to get over that get it sorted out it's your wife yep okay okay well on that note good luck okay good luck problem solved celeste thank you for being here you guys she's a very successful comedian author you've written a book what was the name of your book challenge accepted challenge accepted and you can also please look into her beauty brand spelled b-o-o-i-e beauty that's it visit bowiebeauty.com it's bowie.com bowie.com not to be confused with the other kind of bowie bowie thank you celeste thanks for having me it's nice to always love to see you love to see

you do do do do do do drum roll katherine please um chelsea handler abroad abroad is my european tour so i'm coming to obviously find a husband abroad i need to get the hell out of this fucking country. And it's not as easy as you think. So I'm coming to Reykjavik. I'm coming to Dublin. I'm coming to the UK. I'm coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast in May and June. I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow, New Zurich, Vienna. I've never ever been to Vienna, Berlin, Barcelona, and Lisbon. I'm coming. Abroad is abroad.

That sounds like fun. I'm going to go see you abroad. I know. I want to go see me abroad. And there I'll be. There I'll be. Excellent. Upcoming Vegas dates, March 21st, April 18th, July 5th, August 30th, November 1st, and 29th

at the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas. If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at dearchelseapodcast at gmail.com. And be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com. stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally

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