Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Season 2 Premiere: A Love Story with Jo Koy

Episode Date: October 7, 2021

In the Season 2 Premiere, Chelsea is joined by comedian Jo Koy to talk about indoor skiing, staying up ‘til 3AM, and two different versions of how their longstanding friendship turned into love. Then they answer listener questions: A newly-sober Texan wants to feel more confident at the gym. A sister is concerned when her little sis falls for a much-older man. And a straight man finds himself kissing his best guy friend.*Executive Producer Nick StumpfProduced by Catherine LawEdited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert*****The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees. This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all. Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all?

And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability.

Bell. Connection is everything. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.

Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. You know, I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you.

Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay. Hi, everybody. Oh, welcome to, what is the name of this podcast again? Dear Chelsea is what it's called. Welcome. Hi, Catherine. Hi. Hi. I noticed your hair is all pink today. It is. It'll be a different color tomorrow. I don't understand how you get away with dyeing your hair so many different colors and then your hair remaining on your head. If I did that to my hair, I would have no hair. It's actually a color depositing conditioner, which is great. So it actually makes it nice and healthy and soft. And yeah, it looks very shiny and silky. Thank you. Your husband must really, really like running

his fingers through your hair. You know, I actually asked him recently, of all the colors of hair I've had, I've had teal, pink, purple, all kinds of things. I said, of all the colors I've had, what's your favorite? And he said, brown, very pointedly. So, you know, but he loves me anyway. So you dyed it pink. That's nice. Good for you. Good for you. Well, we have a very, very special guest today. We are actually recording this out of New York City because I'm on tour with my lover, Joe Coy, who was performing all weekend in various parts of the Eastern Seaboard. Well, Albany we started in. That's not really the Eastern Seaboard, but it's part of the East Coast. Then we went to Portland, Maine, where he had a show. And then

we ended it at the King's Theater in Brooklyn last night, which was fucking awesome and a beautiful old theater, and he crushed it. And I did guest sets all weekend with him, which was super fun. And yeah, I've been talking about him a lot recently, so I thought there would be no better way to start season two of my podcast than to bring my paramour on with me and discuss our beautiful love story, Honey Bunny. Hi, Joe Coy. Oh, I love you. That was a great intro. That was so good. Well, I thought it would be nice to share with my listeners since, you know, I always am talking about how fucking stupid and annoying men are. And I know a lot of people think I hate men, but that's really not the case. I hate a very, as Joe actually put it, I hate,

do you want to finish it? I hate a very specific kind of guy, right? I don't want to finish it. No, he doesn't want to finish it. He just, because there's certain things that only you can say. Well, no, you're a guy, so you can kind of speak to it. Oh, I can. I can say whatever I want. And you're also Filipino, so you can say whatever you want right now. This is your free zone right now. Yeah, you're right. Now's my opportunity. But you said, somebody was talking about me on something you did, and I heard you say, they said, doesn't Chelsea Handler hate white men? And you said, no, she hates a very specific kind of white man. So, and I don't hate them, but I dislike them a great deal. But I'm so excited to be with a man

that I don't hate is what I'm saying. And that obviously this is very helpful for all of our listeners who probably agree with me or feel the same way I do about men, which is a little bit hopeless and a little bit frustrated that there isn't a better selection. And then I found out that the best selection was just standing right in front of my face and I didn't even notice it for a really long time. Well, you did. Well, I know that's your version of things. Why don't you actually tell your version? That's actually the best version. It's my version. I'm excited to hear it. Why don't you extrapolate on that, honey, and you tell your version of

since let's take people back in case they're not familiar with the fact that we've known each other for a very long time, right? Yeah, we've known each other for a very long time. Like six months, seven months? Six, seven months. Eighteen years? Eighteen years. Sixteen years? Vaguely. Joe has a lot of memories. Let's be honest. Joe has a lot

of memories that I do not recall. Hers are lost. She had them And then she lost them I have a six month memory I think the furthest you go back Is eight hours

And then everything's a blur She's like what happened at midnight No that's not true honey First of all let's start this What makes What makes me sad is that you don't remember Any of the things that I remember And in my head

In my head it's just It's such a beautiful story And then when I'm finished telling it You go, really? That happened? It's a cute story, though, because so Joe was on my show, Chelsea Lately, my very old show that I had for seven or eight years and which was super fun. We had a lot of fun on that show and we had a lot of comedians on that show. And Joe was like one of the top comedians that was always on because he always delivered and he was always funny and always sweet.

And we had a good repartee going all the time. You interpreted that as a sexual flirtatious repartee. You are not going to do this on your podcast. That is exactly what I'm talking about. You had a crush on me for a really long time, honey. The world had a crush on you. No, you had a very specific crush on me. We had good chemistry.

Our chemistry was amazing. Yes, and you thought that chemistry was sexual. Never did I ever say that. I thought it was comedic. Catherine, are you listening to this? Catherine's listening. She's the producer. She has to listen whether she wants to or not.

No, that's not how it went down. Okay. We just had, our chemistry was so good. Yes, that's true. Our banter was organic. It was genuine. Yeah. And I think the fans saw that.

I think everyone knew that. Right. Whenever I was on the panel, they knew that Chelsea and I were going to go at it and it was going to be fun. Yeah. It wasn't going to be scripted. Right. But it was abusive on my end.

Very abusive. I abused you. Hey, but you know what? That's what therapy's for. Therapy? Yeah. What do you mean? you being on the show was like therapy getting abused by me no no go after the show i was going

to therapy i went to therapy after the show too but about 10 years but no i was abusive with him but that's kind of it was fun well it was fun for you because you have a great attitude about everything honey especially with regard to me in retrospect i realized that it was abusive in a very schoolyard playground kind of way yeah which is like kind of like when the girl has a crush on the kid on the guy and that's what it was you had a crush okay well okay i didn't if i had a crush on you i didn't know about it but if you believe that's true what's happened so far in our relationship is that joe's version of things eventually becomes my version of things because i eventually capitulate and just wait are you saying i'm manipulating you this is manipulation

you have a narrative which is always positive sunshine and roses and then eventually i just get on board with your narrative anyway tell katherine what you think i did this was a plan okay let me tell you my version i had this this there's an outline to this 18 year strategy that i've i've done this was all strategically planned let's put together a timeline joe had a vision board okay and he had a and then he manifested all of this exactly and so there was a trip to hawaii and then there was a picture of chelsea right next to it so so let's just say the trip to Hawaii I crossed out 18 years ago I'll tell you my version of it because it's really cute and and again I just want women to understand like if I fell in love with somebody and I and I feel this

way and I'm so excited and like committed and devoted then I really do believe that there is a lid for every pot and that that's not the most romantic way to frame it but I do believe that like women shouldn't ever first of all you should never be desperate about meeting somebody because that's not how you meet somebody. You should just make sure you're keeping your eyes open with A, the people who are already in your life and B, the people that you may not look at that way or think of that way, but you do really have a lot of respect and caring for because those feelings can develop into something else. And I thought for sure that would never happen to me because truthfully, I felt like you were like, you know, brother energy, which is funny because you do have

my brother's energy, my brother that passed away. You have a lot, he has a lot of similar qualities that my brother had so in many ways like i just feel so completely safe and i feel like oh this is family like i i've always felt that way about you that you're family i just didn't want to fuck you before but so what happened was so joe had a book called mixed plate that was being released before the pandemic right right before the pandemic right before it yeah so bad timing actually it was really bad bad timing so please get yourself a copy of mixed plate okay and then send it to us and we'll both sign it and he asked me for a blurb right he texted me i hadn't heard from you in years right years years i said of course and he sent me the book right read it in

a day yes like she always does with books i don't know if you guys know this but she has a library stored inside her brain no and that's the truth you always have a different book with you and like the next day it's like another book another book you'd rip through them i did a quote that Burt Kreischer sent me a quote, right? Just like this motivating, motivational quote. You know what I mean? Just so you know, you don't do quotes. You read a quote.

Okay, I know. Just let me finish this one, please. And then you'll be right for the rest of the show. Okay. Okay. And then, so he sent me this quote. I read it to Chelsea, and then she knew exactly who the quote was from. And it's just like, that's who Chelsea is.

Marianne Williamson. It was a Marianne Williamson quote. I read it. And by the way, the way I read is not good. So for her to understand what I was saying. If anyone in this relationship is going to read something, it's going to be me, right? Yeah, that's good. Hey, hun, I already told the world I can't read.

Okay? You don't have to. Honey, you have so many other talents. You can read. Just, you know. Yeah, just not well. Or is it good? Well, that's not, yeah, it's well.

Actually, that was good. Oh. Well. Anyway. Yeah. Back to my literacy. But, oh, no. And then I asked her for the quote.

And then she goes, okay, I'm going to write this for you. you. Excellent. Yeah. And she wrote this amazing quote. And then he texted me and he said, can I call you? And I said, not if you're going to hit on me. Why don't you tell him what I really said? You said, because you go, I go, can I text you? And then you go, not if you're trying to fuck me. And then I go, God, Chelsea, do you think everyone just wants to fuck you? Something like that. I don't think you wrote that, but you said, God, Chelsea, of course not. I have, I have it stored. Oh, yeah, honey.

Good luck trying to go through our text chains and finding that one. Okay, honey? Anyway, so then we started talking. You started calling me. And then you came over to my old house one night. We hung out. We got stoned and we laughed on my couch. But it was COVID times.

So we definitely kept our distance. Until we hugged. Well, we hugged, but we had masks on. But we had masks on. So we hung out at my house. and we had a great time. Really fun, right? We laughed our asses off. I bought her an expensive purse and she said, return it. He bought me a Prada little purse. And I said, you could take that right back because I mean, you know, I'm not going to wear a purse that says Prada on it. I

don't like labels like that. And you were offended of course, but we had a fun time anyway. And then I went to Whistler for three, four months. And then we FaceTimed all the time because you were up my ass while I was in Whistler and you were so excited about my skiing and you were jealous of the skiing right and I said that I ski yeah he skied and then he skied in Vegas so that's a different kind of skiing but skiing it's snow and then there's sticks on my feet okay so it's skiing there's no difference what am I skiing down sand dunes I don't know are you no no it's snow. But it's an indoor skiing resort. No, it's not indoor. I'm not at Minnesota. I'm not at the Mall of America. It's not indoor? No, it's

outdoor. It's on a mountain. I thought it was indoor skiing. What? You thought I was at Circus Circus? Just going down Black Diamond? Anyway, that happened. And then you sent me a bunch of flannels, which were really cute because my brother Chet that I talked about in my book and I've talked about on this podcast used to wear flannels all the time and even when he passed away I remember I would go into his closet and he had this like curtain in his closet and I would go in there and just smell all his shirts because his smell never really went away and then Joe wears flannels all the time but I

never really made that connection but there is very something warm warming to me about a man and a flannel but her compliments always came to me and I didn't realize it until like later when we started getting serious but every time I put on a flannel she would always compliment me yeah so like she'll be at whistler and i'll be in vegas and then i'd have my flannel on because he was going skiing indoors and she goes oh you look good in that flannel you should wear flannels more more often right but we were just friends talking yeah yeah but you were in love with me at that point probably right well did you were you honey tell the truth you can tell the truth i mean we're just doing a podcast i mean of course who wouldn't well a lot of people

wouldn't but you you no i've always loved you oh you're so cute i told you yeah of course behind every night spent making the kids lunches there's a lot of suspense will they finally eat the veggies will the pesto survive the first bite will the lunchbox come home empty half full or come home at all and will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything.

When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed,

and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.

This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters

and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners.

Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman. Not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this? how about we flip it on its head

how about we flip the script what if the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird Adam Scott this entire time you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come

to visit the show I would never expect I would never set expectations for something like that to happen if the universe allows for something like that to happen i am open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is

that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this Everyone's so dumb except for you. And fake. Right, fake and also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show

and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility.

Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app,

apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts you know and one thing that i treasure the most with chelsea is her friendship because she's such when when you get chelsea to be your friend it's going to be the most solid friend you'll ever have so you want to secure that you know so i always wanted to make sure that she was happy and and i just wanted to secure our friendship because i loved it so much so i didn't want to do anything wrong. Get it, Catherine? Yeah. You don't want to spoil the friendship. Yeah, because I'd rather have her with me as a friend forever than trying to make something happen for a weekend. That's not worth it to me. What was it that pushed you kind of over

the edge into romantic feelings? It's when she roofied me at a bar. Honey, I would never waste a roofie on another person. I would only give that to myself. Yeah, it's when she roofied herself. excellent i was in whistler for three months then he was coming to vancouver because steven spielberg saw coming in hot on netflix yeah one of his three specials on netflix and he gave him a movie called easter sunday which comes out next year on april 1st awesome which is fucking awesome so he i was in vancouver but it was at the height of covid so nobody could come in and out so even though he was going to come and ski if he could we couldn't do that so then he was filming his movie and he's like oh come down you can have a role in the movie and I was like oh that would

be so much fun but it didn't work out because I was leaving Whistler and then I would have had to come back to Vancouver where he was shooting his movie and quarantine for another two weeks and at that point I was quarantined out and we weren't in love yet so I didn't she wasn't willing to do that until I didn't yeah but I'll regret that because the movie is going to be so awesome and I saw the trailer and he's seen the movie and it's going to be awesome and Tiffany Haddish is also in and a bunch of other, and it's just a great representation of Filipinos and it's fucking funny and it's got heart

and all of the things. So then I didn't do that movie. So we didn't see each other for about four months other than FaceTime, right? And then we started hanging out when we were home. But yeah, I guess it was very organic. I remember- The minute we both got to LA,

we were like, let's go to dinner. You pick me up at one and then that would turn into like a seven hour margarita festival. Yeah, I don't know if you know this, Catherine, but before she was dating me, Bedtime for Chelsea was 5.40 in the afternoon. So she was done at 5.40, pajamas at 6, Xanax at 7, and then New York Times at 4 a.m.

And the day starts again. Yeah, I went through a phase where I went to bed at around 8 and woke up at around 5. And that lasted through all of ski season. And then when I came home for a little bit, then I started hanging out with you and that changed my schedule. Yeah, it went from lunch to like lunch to coffee and then lunch, coffee. What are we having for dinner? And then it went from lunch, coffee, dinner to let's have a drink. And now it's midnight.

Yeah, now we're just spending time with each other. And I go to bed now. What time did we go to bed last night? Three o'clock in the morning. 3 a.m. Oh, wow. That's a real radical shift. Yeah, no kidding.

So there's not a lot of compromise going on. It just feels like I'm adapting. I just want to tell everybody that I traveled on a tour bus this weekend. We flew to New York. We took a tour bus with seven other guys. Who love you. I have a great crew, Catherine. Yeah, he does.

I really do have a great crew. Like we're a team, like legit a team. We all have great roles and I can't do anything without these guys. I really can't. They're all great. Yeah, they are good and they're not assholes and they're not bro-y. They're just all good human beings. The point being is that I slept on a tour bus for you, which is something that I hoped

that would never happen to me. And she said that to me. She goes, oh, yeah, tour bus, not going to work. Yeah, I told him everything I've told him that I wasn't going to do. I've done. Yeah. And now guess what she said yesterday, Catherine? She goes, I'll just leave this shirt here and these shoes on the bus.

So now she has her own closet on the bus. Yeah. And so that's the story, baby. Yeah, it was kind of cool how... You didn't answer Catherine's question though. So when did you, you said organically, but you never gave a straight answer about when you started having romantic feelings towards me.

Well, I mean, other than always having them. I had to make the first move because I knew Joe respected me too much and was never going to do anything. Well, tell her what happened. In Vegas? Well, yeah. Vegas is when I was like, oh, I would love to.

You fell, yeah. Yeah, because, you know, she was beautiful on stage. I was performing at the Mirage, and he came to see me. And we had been hanging out all that whole week. And every day was just like a romantic comedy, watching people, like, frolic around Santa Ma- Come and knock on our door. Come and knock on our door.

We've been waiting for you. Did you hear that harmony? No. You hear it? He also thinks- She's singing now. He thinks I can sing and dance. That's how much he loves me.

He can't even see me clearly or hear me clearly. um he uh it was after a lot of hanging out and a lot of really fun times like we would just laugh our asses off and be silly and stupid and you know end up at the pier playing air hockey or in my house playing ping pong or or how about you getting a little hammered uh yeah and then not having a house key oh right right oh that was good one night and then you telling me that you left the purse we heard that story i think we've i've told that story honey let's not repeat it yeah I think I did I think that was a very pivotal moment right there pivotal yeah why because that was a night where you know like I didn't know what was going on with you I dropped

you off I thought you had a key I saw you like I always make sure someone gets to the door right I always do that yeah and then you left me at the door no but I saw you go to the door so then when I saw her go to the door she's got a bunch of trees by the way so I saw a silhouette of her going to the door and then so i hurried up because i had to hurry up and get back to santa monica before the bar closed because she said i left my purse there jeez so i just hurried up raced over to santa monica and as i'm going there she goes where's my key i'm like what do you mean where's your key and she goes i'm locked out i'm like oh my god let me go get your purse and i'll be back so i went look for the she didn't tell you this part did she

where I'm looking for the purse for an hour asking a bunch of people if they stole her purse asking security I go you were and then there was a group of people that were sitting at the booth next to us and then when we left now they're sitting at our booth so I'm now I'm like did you guys see a purse here because she said she left her purse here and then no one said they had the purse so I'm just like being a detective at this place and finally I just left now I'm calling her she's not picking up the phone so now I think she got into the house but I don't know she got into the house i kept calling her and calling her and texting her texting her well i'm asleep in my room nope nope see she didn't tell the she didn't tell the story i went home and got

my son because i left my son i left my my son's been waiting for he's he wanted to like go out to eat or something so i went home got my son the minute i pulled up i go hey man i think chelsea's outside of her house and she's not picking up the phone i went to go get her purse she said she didn't have a key i don't know if she got her key but she's not answering my phone calls or texting and my son goes let's go let's go see if she's there yeah so now it's my son and i going back to her house and we're literally yelling out her name at her house because she's not there oh by the way she has this little uh what is it that statue like a little buddha statue like a little waterfall right by her front door so when my son went up the stairs he went oh chelsea there's oh

it was a buddha but she was like chelsea oh i'm sitting out there meditating in the middle of the night with a waterfall yeah and then so we're yelling chelsea and then i'm like you know what i think she's in because all our lights are on by the way all the lights are on in her house and i'm like i i go you know what i think she she finally got in so then we left cut to the next day she calls me and she's like i fell asleep by the pool oh so you couldn't get in a pool chair And then she had a footprint on the side of her ass cheek. I told you I slept in the treehouse, which was a lie. I didn't.

I told him to make him feel bad. I go, you know, I had to sleep in the treehouse last night. And he's like, oh my God, you did. And then I realized he had come back and done all that. And then I felt bad. I said, I was just kidding. Oh, so you did go inside? Yeah, I was inside.

You never told me that. I know, I know. I forgot. But that was sweet. I mean, I don't know if that's a good story to be sharing, but sure. You know, who fucking cares? Right. Who cares? Who gives a shit? You don't. I can tell you that much. Yeah. And Vegas was leading up to Vegas. He was like, I'm coming to your Vegas show. I'm coming to your Vegas show because he does have a house in Vegas also. So you spend a lot of time in Vegas for tax evasion purposes. That's not why, because I have family. Okay. Thank you. Right. That's the other reason he's got family and we and you walked in and I just remember seeing him and being like

oh oh okay wait a second something's happening here and then she liked my outfit I liked your outfit but I just liked how attentive you were to me because I was performing and I was nervous I hadn't really done a big show yet for the new tour I'd done a bunch of practice shows but not in front of like a proper audience. And he was just so attentive to me like the whole night backstage, everything, just making sure I was okay. And I remember my sister going, you guys are like acting like a couple. We went to dinner and we had, yeah, we were with Hannah Einbinder and Alex Edelman are my opener. Hannah from that show Hacks opened for me and her boyfriend came and we saw them and we had some other friends there. And then we gambled after

the show and that was really fun and then chapelle and all those guys came to the show at the very end and they were going out in vegas and i was like i don't really want to go out i wanted to just stay with my people plus we had plans we were already planning the gamble and then we gambled and he thought my sister was giving him the eye because we were getting touchy-feely and we had bet on that fight that you and mcgregor we lost on that fight is it you and mcgregor isn't that an actor uh no it's yeah it's just okay well maybe he was in a fight too connor mcgregor call it connor mcgregor okay so exactly that may have been why we lost because i don't even know what the fuck i'm talking about yeah same here so we've bet on that fight we both lost and then we

well we both lost but what did i do you made sure that i got all my money back exactly that's what he always does no matter we took out money to gamble and then he always puts the money back in my purse even though i've lost it all which is a really really cute thing which is a really cute tradition honey yeah it can stop and so you were hanging out in my room right and in vegas and i said do you have a crush on me if you do you need to let me know because i need to respond to it and he was like chelsea don't ruin everything you ruin everything and i was like all right well then good night and then you left and then you came back because you lost your keys and then you sat there and you just waited for you said i'll wait for you to sleep fall asleep yeah and

i fell asleep and he just sat there and waited and then i heard him walk out in the middle of the night and i was like cod is he ever gonna make a move on me and then i just remember i remember thinking oh he would never do that in vegas like that's not his style at all plus we were drinking if i was gonna kiss her katherine i didn't want it to be because we were both drunk yes right how cute is that yeah i mean what guy says that so then well i mean wouldn't like that's the right thing to do when you're in love with somebody like i don't want to be i don't want my moment with you to be a memory of us being hammered and shit-faced in Vegas. And that's why we made out. Especially after all these years, the buildup and everything's got to be right.

Yeah, it's got to be right. Right. So it was, yes. And so he did that, which was also made me more attracted to him. And then I remember waking up and going, fuck, I don't want to leave. I want to go with him, you know, and drive back. Yeah, that was cute. She left a video message saying, what time are you going to leave? Because I'd rather go back with you. But I didn't. I ended up flying back because he was going shopping he loves to go shopping now i have to go love to go shopping but then it was the next day in in la on a monday and we went out we went down to koreatown and we had a really fun night yeah and and then i think i yeah and then i made a move i just said listen what is the fucking situation first i said do you want to hold my hand and you while we were

driving yeah and you were like yes and then i was like okay and then we got back to my house and i made a move and said, listen, let's get this show on the road already. That's great. So that was it. Nothing happened that night either. No, no. He didn't let anything happen that night either because. We were drinking.

Got to find the sober window. She literally put her foot on my face and she goes, kiss me. But you did kiss me, honey. I did kiss you. Yeah. So that was good. And speaking of drinking, guess who hasn't been drinking for, well, now it sounds like I have a drinking problem after these stories.

I know, but it sounds like it. Anyway, I've started my 30-day alcohol cleanse, sobriety cleanse or whatever from Mallorca because I had sangria for breakfast a lot in Mallorca and I got back and thought, but I got so many DMs from people who were also doing the 30-day alcohol detox with me. So what day am I on? Eight or nine? I don't know. 10, 15?

Let's just say eight. Well, when this airs, it'll probably be like 14. So, but it hasn't been hard at all, probably because I'm with you and Joe's not even, And Joe only drinks if I drink. So he is fine not drinking. If I smoke a joint, he'll smoke a joint. If I don't smoke a joint, he doesn't smoke a joint. Right?

You could take it or leave it all of it. Right. So that's good. That's good for me. Anyway, that's our love story, guys. Hopefully it wasn't too annoying. No, not at all. Catherine?

Yes? Should we start with some callers? Hold on. I want to ask a question. Okay. Sure, honey. I think I'm allowed to do that. Right, Catherine?

Yeah, absolutely. so you really never had not even an interest at all is that what you're getting at right now this whole love story not not even a tad not a little bit of an attraction from day one well this is what i'll say is that first of all i don't think i was in touch with my feelings enough to understand what those feelings were. I would say by behaviorally, what I was doing would indicate that I also had feelings, but didn't know how to, they weren't registering. So I think by going to therapy, like even when we were talking for the last year, like I still had that same energy with you because historically that was our energy, which was like, felt like you had a crush on me

and I was in charge and I could kind of just do whatever. And you would always be smitten or like taken by me in a way like that's how i felt but now in retrospect i realized that those feelings were probably i just was suppressing them i was just not like in touch with myself to understand oh i knew i liked talking to you and i would liked having you in my life because you're so positive and upbeat and it's infectious and i loved all of that but i wasn't like had this desire to have something happen no i wasn't thinking about that at all i just thought oh and by the way who gives a shit because look where we are now so if i you know i would have ruined it if i had those feelings earlier probably yeah i think we're in a better place both of us

i would have sexually assaulted you it would have ended with you crying in a corner yeah trying to file some sort of police report always and no one restraining seriously you want to hear something else katherine yeah i didn't show chelsea this but yesterday john lovitz texted me oh yeah i didn't show you yeah so I'll show you this this is what he wrote me this is last night at like midnight I'll do it in John Lovitz's voice you ready he goes how'd you meet your new girlfriend you're welcome glad you're happy I went haha thank you John no problem cash please are you still funny I go I'm selling out multiple arenas so yes he goes Jesus that's awesome but Basically, the reason why that's funny is John's the reason why I met Chelsea.

Oh, my goodness. Did she tell you that already? No, honey. That's another memory that I don't have. See, she doesn't remember this either. John was doing a show at the Laugh Factory every Wednesday night, and I was opening for him. This is like 16 years ago, whatever, 16 or 17 years ago. And then all of a sudden he goes, you have to meet Chelsea Handler.

She's hysterical. She's my only friend on MySpace. And then I went to MySpace. Anyways, it was literally just you. That's all he had. And the other guy, I think it was whoever the other guy is, Tom or whatever. Forget Top 8. It's just Chelsea.

Yeah. So it was just Chelsea. And that's when we met was through John. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't remember that either, but I do know who John Lovitz is. So there we go. I have a memory of him.

Anyway, thanks for listening to that, you guys. Fantastic. Should we take a quick ad break, Chelsea? Yeah. Why don't we take a quick ad break, honey? You can start reading my ads for me, okay? Yeah. Okay, great.

Bye. I mean, see you in a minute. The Jonas Brothers are running it back. We live the burning up tour and celebrate the biggest Jonas Brothers hits that have defined a generation. One incredible celebration. One unforgettable night.

See the Jonas Brothers live at RBC Amphitheater, September 28th. Get tickets now at Ticketmaster.ca. Jonas Brothers, the Burn It Up Tour, all over again. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying,

Shut up. Don't say anything. every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them they're stories about what it takes to make it out alive Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.

I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations,

or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network.

Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this? How about we flip it on its head?

How about we flip the script, okay? What if the surprise woman, who actually you think is the straight man, is actually the one who's acting weird? Adam Scott. This entire time, you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that seems like if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity

exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity yeah ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like they're like oh what's the state everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode but he's just so busy listen to hollywood handbook on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your

podcasts on the new podcast solita we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman i can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle i chose option b i'm julie pinero and i travel by myself because it's a rare space where i can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself.

So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Honey, get ready. Get your therapy cap on, okay? Yes. Okay, Catherine, who do we have on deck? So our first question for you, Chelsea, comes from John. Is it John Lovitz? Hello. It's not John Lovitz, but he's from Texas.

He's 32. He writes, Dear Chelsea, first of all, thank you for this hilarious and practical podcast. I absolutely love it and applaud the work you're doing for your listeners. Here's the issue I want advice on. My phobia of the gym. More specifically, my worry when working out at the gym that I'm being judged by others. I recently signed up for Planet Fitness, and I love their leave your ego at the door philosophy. However, I still can't shake the feeling that I'm either trying too hard or not hard enough.

I know it's in my head, but I'm in my early 30s and want to get my body right for my health. And side note, he is just over 40 days sober as well. Oh, wow. Well, that's going to be a big boost. OK. Hi, John. Let's see you. Hi, Chelsea.

Oh, hi. Hi. How are you? Hi. Where are you? I'm in Weatherford. So I'm west of Fort Worth. So it's in Texas.

Sorry about that. But, you know. Yeah. Seriously. Don't. sorry that you won't be able to get an abortion there. Oh, my goodness. Did you meet my lover, Joe? Joe's here today, too. That's your lover? Yeah, that's my new lover. Yeah. He also doesn't use the gym. So okay. But yeah, anyway, I think, first of all, great job

on not drinking for 40 days. How did you decide to do that? Kind of had decided for me, my body was like, you can't do this anymore. So I got out of that period. And I was like, okay, you have to commit to it and I did and uh I'm happier than ever it's the best feeling yeah it's the best feeling in the world like I get to take my dogs out all the time we go to the lake and we just walk around and I'm like what are people doing all day like I don't know it was just it's I'm so clear and I have so many things I can do and I'm so excited about life and so that's a big deal for me that's so great to do that I've gotten because I'm doing a 30-day detox and I've gotten so many DMs from people who are struggling with alcohol and the idea of even giving it up, you

know, and I think if it's if it's that hard to even give up, then that means that you need to consider it. Right. Yeah, it was hard. I didn't want to give it up. And then once you give it up and I am in a better, a lot better place now, I don't regret it. I don't look back. But, you know, getting through that first period is not easy. I'm still in the beginning of it, but I'm like, So like, I couldn't even dream that I would be where I'm at now with that whole thing. So yeah, so that's great. And then I haven't, I'm starting a new job this week. What are you doing for your new job?

Oh, I'm going to be working at, so it's a hotel working at the front desk. So that's great. And I'm really excited. And I just got my degree from Arizona State in May. So like, I'm on this whole, like, just resetting, you know, I was trying again with life. And, you know, I really feel good about it. And the gym thing keeps coming up where like I go and I feel, I don't know, I just don't belong. I'm 32 now. And I'm like, if I can get this together, then, you know, I have everything else.

It's kind of I'm kind of getting in line. You know, if I just get this body right, it's going to be like just the best thing for me. Yeah. Well, first of all, you do not have to give a shit about anybody in the gym. Half of those morons don't know what they're doing either. and there's no harm in asking people like if you need help with something nobody loves to give people help more than white straight guys at a gym so if you need help you shouldn't be shy about asking for it because it kind of ingratiates yourself to others you know and if you don't if that's not your issue is your issue you just feel intimidated or is that your issue that you don't know what you're doing well i have like an access so it's like one end i'm like what am i

doing here i'm fat i don't belong here so the other end where i think i'm like hot stuff and like I really know what I'm doing and so like I'm always in between there somehow and then I end up on like the elliptical for like 30 minutes and then I go home because I'm like oh god I can't do any of this other stuff I'm gonna look ridiculous and I just and I feel like other people feel this way but I can't be the only one the things show you how to do them like the machines that are not like free weights like the ones that you know they'll show you how to do them and stuff and I just feel like oh god if I go down there I'm gonna be ridiculous and people are gonna to be judging me. First of all, do you have to remember everyone at the gym is there because

they're worried about how they're being judged. So don't worry about them judging you because everybody's thinking about themselves. So just remember that just like you're in your head, everyone else is in their head. Also, secondly, there are so many apps you can download that can teach you how to do these things. Like do you have the Peloton app or like tonal fitness or one of those? I don't have those yet. Actually, the Planet Fitness app does some of that stuff. They have like videos, but Peloton, I watched TikTok and there's that guy on there. I don't know if you've seen, but he's really funny. And I think he does Peloton. And I was like, oh, I should do that. Cause I think you can do just the membership and you don't have to have a bike. No, you don't

need the bike. You just get the membership. You play it on your laptop or an iPad or whatever. There's like 10 minute and 15 minute classes. They do like, you can do upper body, lower body, you can do abs, you can do all of that. But just doing cardio, A, if you've lost weight recently or anything like that too much cardio is never bueno like you know people think that's the way but like once you've lost the weight you want to you want to tone up right you want to be lifting weights and doing that stuff so any of those apps will teach you how to do these exercises you know they're these aren't difficult things they're so easy and you just have to have a conversation with yourself before you get to the gym because you do belong there that's what you're

doing you're going there to get yourself healthier so and fuck everybody else don't worry about other people you know spend a little bit less time on social media and a little bit more time on like boosting yourself and telling yourself how great it is all these changes that you're telling me that you've just made are incredible that's incredible that you stopped drinking for 40 days you have a new job look how happy you are you're like glowing right honey i'm very happy yeah you know i was thinking about i was like instagram does not help me with this whole situation because like everybody i look at on fitness you know on instagram they're all wonderful looking i'm just like those are called filters yeah yeah they're called filters those

aren't real people by the way you said something about being 32 one thing you gotta always do is never use your age as an excuse right right just enjoy the moment that you're in right like you're in a healthy position right now you stop drinking man a lot of people take forever to even get over that hump right yeah so it's like that's amazing that has nothing to do with age it's just like your mental fitness is beautiful right now so maintain that don't sit there and go i'm 32 and i'm gonna be 33 next year oh my god i'm gonna be 40 what are you doing there's there's no re your whole life is in front of you man so don't don't look at it as a year-to-year thing right it's just your life who gives a shit how old you are right and also positivity breeds more

positivity yeah man so when you're positive about yourself and like you're really you know feeling yourself that's good you're attracting people you're attracting people to that energy and you know when you're having those negative thoughts about yourself you're negatively pushing people away so keep that in mind that was great energy 100 that's so true man people feed off of that when you're positive people want to they want to taste the juice you're drinking you know without you even trying to sell it it's just it's just you and everyone wants to be around that space like yo what is this guy on you know but if you're moping around and depressed people don't want to be around that that's not who i want to be and that's not who i am naturally and like this

like that's what i was saying this is gonna help me get past that hump like who cares welcome in the gym you know this i'm here for me y'all are here for yourselves too it's not like anybody's going there to watch people you know like it's in my head i guess that that i'm thinking that and it's just you know and that's what my college roommates like got over that real quick they never had this issue and i'm like i can't be the only one who's like a little shy like on the workout that machine's trying to do too much or whatever, but no, I, I am a positive person and I'm going to take this advice and I'll probably go to the gym right after this. Actually, I'm feeling it. And don't be scared about making friends at the gym. I mean, you're so likable,

like go up to people, you know, get help from, from these guys or from girls or from whomever, just be like, Hey, I'm new here. I don't really know how to use this machine. I guarantee you, you will have no problem getting help. And that's, that's a sweet, endearing quality. So yeah keep spreading positivity and everything's gonna come up roses yeah especially with that hairline look at your hairline oh well you know thank you he doesn't have a hairline i don't have a hairline yeah yeah he's losing he lost his hair when i was like when i shaved his head a long time ago and sold his hair but anyway good good luck with everything it was really nice to talk to you john thanks chelsea thank you you thank you all so much follow up let me know like six months down

the road how's it how it's going and what's what happened with your gym experience and all that stuff okay keep in touch yes ma'am thank you okay bye cutie oh look at him cutie honey that was nice advice yeah and i love it how he always smiled every time he every time he spoke yeah our next question is dear chelsea i think i'm in love with my best friend for context i am a 22 year old male and so is he. We've been best friends since the seventh grade, and he's always been the one person I can count on. After high school, he joined the service and was gone for three years. We stayed in touch as much as we could, and since he's been back, he's been staying with me. About two months ago, we were both drunk and somehow started making out. I don't even remember how it started. I just

remember not wanting it to end. I've always told people I was straight and always thought he was. I've dated girls before, but I've never felt anything like this. We haven't talked about that night at all. The day after, he began seeing this girl, who he's been spending the majority of his time with ever since. I feel like he purposefully makes it evident to me that it's nothing serious with her, and he's just having fun, but I don't know how to take that. It's like he has this huge wall up ever since we kissed, and I don't know what to do. Should I try to talk to him about it? Should I tell him how I feel?

Should I take his sudden interest in this girl as my answer? please help me I have no idea what I'm doing Austin oh god yeah no yeah you got to talk to him and say something because obviously if he's dating yeah no you have to clear the air and understand what the situation is you absolutely have to have a conversation with him and it can't be over drinks it has to be in the light of day and sober and him being with a girl is trying to send you a message but who knows what he's thinking I mean you know like there's so many men that are feeling that way about other men, but don't think they're allowed to have that behavior. And I mean, it would be easier to talk to him to understand the dynamic about their

friendship, but you have to have a conversation. You have to clear the air and get it out there and don't pretend what happened didn't happen. It doesn't matter if you were drunk or not, you know, be the bigger person in the situation and just, and whatever his answer is, if he's like, I'm not interested, that was one night, then that's fine. That's it. That's fine. Accept that as his truth for that, the time being, but at least then you have your answer. Honey, do you have any advice for these two? I think it's done with that guy. I don't think there is a future there.

Well, but they're best friends. Yeah, they remain best friends. But that's why when you're in love with somebody or you have that type of feeling, I never want to act on those feelings when you're not sober. Yeah, but it's too late. He already has. I know. And this is what I didn't want to happen in any relationship.

I never want to go in without a clear mind, right? I don't want to act on what I was drinking that night. You know, it's never real love at that point. Right. So your advice is to don't do that again. Don't hook up with them again drunk. Just don't let that happen. Yeah.

If you ever have feelings for someone that's bigger than just a friendship, don't act on it when you're not clear-minded, right? Like when you're drunk, that's not a good time because you're going to find yourself in this situation because the other person probably didn't even think of it that way. It was just a hookup. Yeah. Agreed. Agreed.

Okay. So stop getting so shit-faced all the time. Problem solved. Problem solved. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all?

And will you finish episode 8 before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney+, from $94 a month. price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files. I just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything. Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up

without a doubt he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level

of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm gonna have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts see you between the pages hey this is hayes davenport and sean clements we

host the podcast hollywood handbook on the big money players network our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners each week we talk to someone in show business aka the biz and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can you help me shape this how about we flip it on his head okay how about we flip the script okay what is the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird.

Adam Scott. This entire time, you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show. I would never expect. Let go of that. I have. I would never set expectations

for something like that to happen. If the universe allows for something like that to happen, I am open to it. I'm always going to accept. You know, Danny McBride, fine. Yeah. it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest

with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity yeah ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like they're like oh what's the state everyone's so dumb except for you fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode but he's just so busy listen to hollywood handbook on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts on the new podcast solita we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman i can

wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself.

So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, our next question comes from Elizabeth. Elizabeth is a caller. She's here with us. She's 27. She's in Tennessee. She said, Dear Chelsea, I do not like my sister's partner. My sister Alice and I were members of a gym. It's another gym-related one. Members of a gym where this man, Michael, was a staff member. For the first several months of us being introduced to Michael, he was known as the creepy guy at the gym.

At the time, my sister had just turned 18 and was a senior in high school. Michael was 30 years old at the time. Alice, who's naturally more friendly and outgoing than I am, eventually began defending Michael when I would state that I was creeped out by him, but I dismissed it as typical friendly Alice. There were early red flags, like him convincing her to go off important medication and a secret camping trip, before I found out they had secretly been dating for the entire summer. Now, three years later, Michael has not made any effort to get to know our family. When he picks her up for dates, he sits at the end of the driveway, doesn't come to the door,

etc i can count on one hand the number of times he has held a conversation with my parents and me alice has also cut herself off from friends so she has had minimal interaction with anyone but michael speaking for myself i cannot accept him i can confidently say that my sister was groomed by him during a vulnerable and transitional time of her life and he has knowingly isolated her from everyone but himself now michael is moving out of his parents house and alice will be moving in with him how do i continue to work on my relationship with my sister when such a large part of her life upsets me so much elizabeth oh that's terrible yeah that's such a bummer when your sister gets hijacked by an asshole hi elizabeth hi hi how are you i'm good how about you i'm good this is my

lover joe coy hello joe coy he's our guest today we're just talking about love and i guess so are you because you're talking about the love for your sister, right? Yes. Somebody just came up to your window and then walked away. Do you have a drive-thru? She's like, hold on, I got to fill this bag up with an order. So is your sister younger or older than you? She is five years younger. Okay. And how many other siblings do you have? It's just us. Just the two of you? And you've always been pretty tight? We've always been pretty tight. This kind of overlapped with me coming home from school and her going away. So there was that transition happening. And so he kind of swooped in right as she was becoming one of my peers in a way. And so it's just kind

of gotten a wedge into this relationship. And your parents feel the same way that you do? Yes. Yeah. Other than her knowing that you thought he was creepy at the gym and stuff, have you had a real conversation with her sitting down and expressing the concerns you have about his relationship with her and your family? Yes. And in the beginning, there were definitely conversations that we had expressing our concerns about this relationship because of the age gap and just the different stages of life there. And it was just so icky. What's the age gap again? So she was 18 when he was 30. Oh, 12 year gap. Now the age gap doesn't necessarily mean as much but but she's what now 20 22 oh so they've been together for four years now

yeah oh that's too i know it's hard to break up i know what is it about him that you hated like just what's the main thing when they first started dating that was it the age it was i felt like he swooped in at a impressionable time in her life and it was very opportunistic. So like her first weekend that she went away to college, he came and took her off the grid basically. And he hasn't ever validated that we had reason to be concerned for her or that we would feel somewhat offended that he didn't make any sort of effort to get back into our good graces. So it's that character flaw. And there are other examples. But is he a bad guy? I mean, like that's not great behavior but is he yeah he doesn't have the greatest personality either

yeah unfortunately that's not enough of a reason to make somebody break up with somebody because somebody's personality isn't good enough right yeah i'm not gonna say the age isn't a thing as well but 18 isn't a good time for you to be yeah you know the rule should be wait till she has experiences you know i mean like at 22 and he was 30 yeah i get it but like 18 you just got out of high school man you don't know anything else but high school so i i get that and i can understand where your concern was but is he a bad guy he's not a bad guy see i just need to know how to move past those feelings i have about him okay okay well then that's and move forward with my sister right i don't need to like him but i don't want to have a relationship with my sister

uh-huh i mean you don't have to like him but like well it's gonna suck for your sister you know it's like it's like yeah you want to you want to mend that relationship with your sister but how do you mend something when you go i like you i just don't like him yeah right so it's like i guess every christmas i'll just see you for like an hour and then you go back to him like what happens over the holidays, like Christmases, does he come? No. He doesn't. So she comes by herself. Does she go see his family? So up until a couple of weeks ago when she moved in with him, she had still been living at home. She switched to all online classes after meeting him. And so she was living at home while he was still living at home. So we haven't really run into

that. Is she traveling back for holidays yet? And where are they? How far away are they from where you are? They're about two hours away, kind of out in the country in a small town. Yeah. I would say you need to figure out a way to A, just focus on the love you have for your sister and keeping your family intact, because that is a responsibility that everyone in a family bears. Like you are responsible for communicating and making sure that you are just reciprocating. Right. And it's unfortunate, but the reality is that she's been with him for four years now she's two hours away so you've got to just lay off disliking him and focus on loving her you know and making sure that she knows if and when the time comes that she is ready to like

jump ship that you are going to welcome her with open arms and not and i told you so we never liked him she already knows that she knows you don't like him i've dated guys that i know my family didn't like and no one said anything and i still knew but i think you dated guys that you didn't even like. We've all dated people that we didn't like. Do you have a boyfriend or a husband? No, I don't. Okay. So I think you should just focus on your relationship with her, you know, even overdo it to a point to make sure that you're filling in for any sort of love she may feel like she's missing. Because usually when you end up with a guy like that, and he doesn't really have any interest in knowing your family or getting to know your family or doing stuff like

that, it's because he's trying to just isolate you and, you know, you have your own little bubble. and that's not good for families so like any sort of chasm that you create or space that you create between her is going to be a price that you guys are going to pay you and your parents are going to pay because she's just going to be pushed further into him you know so you just want to make as much of an effort even with him even if it's fake just make as much of an effort as you can you know make the effort to go see her for the two hours make the effort to see them both for the two hours so that it's demonstrated time and time again that you will keep showing up and that whenever she is ready if and when she knows that she can come to you and it's going to be a safe

place and that you'll support her instead of her being in a situation where she feels like she doesn't have any family to reach out to and how are your parents dealing with it we've all pretty much fallen into that like we can't protest too much because then she won't have anywhere to go um so it's kind of it's kind of like that they're obviously not crazy about him but and have you guys ever talked about having like an intervention with her at some point we have talked to her before and it just doesn't do any good it pushes her away closer to interrupt i'm sorry we're still sounding like this is a horrible man right like you know like i'm no offense chelsea but like have you guys had an intervention it's like what are you having an intervention on like

she's still in love i mean we can't say she's not she's not being held hostage you know what i mean like yeah the the situation was a 12 year old a 12 year gap but it's like they've still been together for four years and it's like i don't know maybe there's a time where you guys have to like hey can you bring them over let's have a dinner let's let's all get to know them yeah i think that's more of an effort that you need to do for your sister because she's in love and if she fucks up and in 10 years from now she's like god damn it he was an idiot just be like you don't have to say i told you but welcome back you knew we were here for you but right now she's in love right right right right intervention is a wrong word she's not being abused or anything like that

that you're aware of or anything i knew what you meant yeah yeah so that you're right honey this time and you should i had an intervention last week so yeah it's called agua caliente that's our safe word. I think you just have to overdose her with love. Just be there for her. Make an effort with him. Even if it makes you sick, you just have to be the bigger person, right? You're a big sister. And this is an opportunity to act like a big sister. Just be there for her in spades over and over again. Make sure that you're always communicating with her so that she knows you're there. And the same for you, if you can talk to your parents to do the same thing, because when people feel that they retreat, if you feel like, oh, my friends don't like my boyfriend, then I'm

not going to bring my boyfriend around my friends you know you know what i think would be cool elizabeth it's elizabeth right yes i think i'm actually my name is chelsea are you talking oh okay i didn't know who you were talking to it's nice to meet you too i think it'd be kind of cool if you go what's your sister's name alice you should call alice and go hey you know it'd be fun you me and your boyfriend go get something to drink and let's just hang out or eat or go do something. Let's just hang out. Just initiate that. It's not like I want to get to know him or is he better or whatever. Just like, hey, is it cool if we hang out one night? Watch how she acts. Watch how he acts. It's probably going to be a completely different situation. You're probably

going to end up liking the guy. Well, maybe. Maybe, but I mean, it's worth the shot. It is worth a shot. Because what you're doing isn't working, right? Like for you guys, having all this kind of negative energy towards him isn't working. He feels it. She feels it. And that's why they're probably two hours away. So if you can just reverse all of that negativity into positivity, even if you're there and you're at dinner with him and he's not saying anything, it's just like, instead of having those negative feelings, have positive ones like, Oh, how can I engage? What can I, what kind of question can I ask him to make him start talking about something what's happening and transpired so far hasn't worked. So you have to completely try a different

approach and I guarantee you, you'll get different results with every different approach. There are different results and mind you the more you don't like him the more she's gonna like him yeah that's also a problem i had that experience with one of my friends once and we all told her and then they got married so that doesn't really work either at all especially when there's really no legitimate reason not to like him it's just his personality seems lame yeah yeah so does that help you at all elizabeth it does and i you're right i need to focus more on just being positive about the situation and yeah just think about yeah yeah really do try and think about that how you can kind of flip the switch on that there's a lot of meditations too that help you do that

to get all the kind of negative stuff out and replace it with positive stuff it's important to do that like I I have that issue a lot with respect to certain things and I just try to always be like okay anytime there's a negative thought I try to replace it with a positive one you know another thing too Chelsea is when you spend a lot of negative energy on something that doesn't have to do with you you start neglecting yourself and that sucks she'll just love you so much more if you are just really reaching out instead of withdrawing for him him you know especially if you make an effort with him that's indisputable yeah when she sees that and now blood's thicker than water it's like my sister now she's gonna take your side right because if he denies the

lunch and she's like well you know what then she's fucking right right you are a piece of shit because she asked you out yeah yeah i get it thank you well that'll be uh do you have venmo because we're going to actually charge we don't charge on this podcast okay that's a private thing that you do on your podcast do you charge well elizabeth if you can just send me a your venmo i'm going to charge you just for my portion i'll drop it in the chat okay thank you thank you elizabeth but check in with us okay check in with us later and let us know what happens Okay, thank you. Okay, if they ever break up, we'll have a big party.

All right. Okay, bye. Bye. Okay, we're going to take another break so Joe and I can make love. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all?

And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files.

I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.

They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve

the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your

podcasts see you between the pages hey this is hayes davenport and sean clements we host the podcast hollywood handbook on the big money players network our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners each week we talk to someone in show business aka the biz and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can you help me shape this how about we flip it on its head how about we flip the script

what if the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird Adam Scott this entire time you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show

I would never expect I would never set expectations for something like that to happen if the universe allows for something like that to happen I am open to it. I'm always going to accept. You know, Danny McBride, fine.

Yeah, it's all this fragile masculinity exuding. I could smell it walking down the hallway, to be honest with you. I was like, is that weed? Nope, it's fragile masculinity. Ben Stiller, no. Because a lot of times, out of context, people don't get it or even know what a circle is. You know what I mean?

Like, they're like, oh, what's a circle? Everyone's so dumb except for you. And fake. Right, fake. And also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show

and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first.

I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip,

I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Joe, you look like you need a little advice. Yeah. Do you have anything that you need to ask me? Yeah. How about if I just ask you, I deal with a family that holds grudges. And I feel like every time I say it on stage, I'm not the only person.

I'm not alone. I feel like it's very common within my community, my people. Yeah. You mean Filipinos? It's kind of like in our culture, it is a thing that grudges are a big thing. How do we deal with that without destroying the family? I told you I'm going to talk to your mother directly. no but i mean even in general like i'm pretty sure not just filipinos but everybody has

that conflict within the family where there's a grudge yeah but no one's able to talk about it but there's this grudge yeah you know me i like language so i am always for communicating and overly communicating until you know you wear somebody down with language i know what you're talking about personally and i know that that it's not a obviously filipino thing it's a world thing people hold grudges against each other, but it can be stronger in different cultures. But, you know, you can't go to a dry well for water, right? Like, what's the point? But there's a different avenue always to get what you want. You know, being in a relationship with me, like there's different ways to go about those things. So whatever you've done thus far, it doesn't work.

Yeah. And it's time to think of a new avenue. And yeah, you got to be willing to talk to somebody that wants to talk though. And that's what sucks. Yeah, that is what sucks. How do we conquer that? because with you the relationship with you is great because you love to talk and when you see something wrong you want to you want to finish that right away right and i love that about you we'll talk about it right now we're not waiting right right right but i would encourage that to you to do that with your family members too like not on the phone show up like in person being like listen this is it let's have this conversation right now let's sit down and talk don't walk away from me. This is it. This is our moment to get this out in the open. I'm serious about it.

And I think sometimes when people try and do that over phone calls or texts or emails, obviously that doesn't work. You know what I mean? But face-to-face, it has a different impact. And like, it is important to sit down and look someone in the eye and say what you're feeling because people have to see your emotions and they have to see how much it hurts you that a grudge is being held and how baseless that is and how short life is and how small that behavior is. So I would just say, talk. I would say, just push it. You know, the next time you're in a position to confront that person, go and go out of your way, set aside the time and go and have that conversation because you'd be surprised, you know, people will just give up and that's half the problem.

Yeah. I think people hate swallowing their own pride too. Well, they do. People hate to be wrong. Yeah. But if you know that, then you already have an advantage over the person that hates to be wrong, right? You know that so you can act in a bigger way. I love that. Great. Problem solved. Okay. So thank you for joining us on our season two premiere episode, Joe Coy. It was a pleasure having you as usual. And what else do we want to say, Joe? Oh,

you know what I want to say to girls out there who have guys in their lives that they think are their friends or that they don't necessarily feel like there's an attraction or they feel like a brother dynamic, I would really encourage you to just really consider how important it is to have somebody who loves and respects you. Like that is bar none, the most important thing that you can get from another human being, nevermind somebody that you're in love with. So that is the foundation of everything, right? Is love and respect. You want to be seen and you want to be heard. And if you have somebody in your life that is like that, and you think, oh no, please be a little bit more open-minded because i'm the happiest i've ever been and it's because

i finally had an open mind instead of a closed one so i think we can end on that i love you how's that i want to end on that thanks for coming joe joe and i are going to go to the airport right now and then we're going to spend six hours looking at each other from across an aisle on a plane probably while he takes pictures of me because that's what our last flight was like yeah right And then she looks like she's building a nest. That's what her seat looks like. There's bags. There's papers.

I put it in recline before we even take off. I have my pillow ready. There's blankets, extra pillows. Put my socks on. Snacks. Snacks. Yeah. A TV that doesn't work.

Even though it does work, it's not working. I can't work it. Yeah. Anyway, that's enough. Thank you. Have a great week. We'll see you next week. And if you want to see more of Joe, you can come over to my house.

Or you can find him hosting Metal Shop Masters, which is on Netflix. And it was released September 10th. And please buy his book, his autobiography. It's called Mixed Plate Chronicles of an All-American Combo. And also you can buy tickets for his Just Kidding World Tour. If you've never seen Joe Coy perform live, you need to go. Because it's not only a stand-up show, it's a fucking concert. It is so fun.

And he sings and he dances and it's like, oh my God, the vibes are so fun. Oh, and everybody, I am performing this weekend. I am picking back up my Vaccinated and Horny Tour. If you don't have tickets, please get them. ChelseaHandler.com. I'm going to Norfolk, Virginia, Hanover, Maryland, and Northfield, Ohio. Two of those places I've never been. So that's October 7th, 8th, and 9th.

I will be coming to Virginia, Maryland, Ohio. So please get your tickets. I can't wait to see everybody. Okay, guys. Thanks. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.

Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B.

I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. You know, I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you.

Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our hometown is not a test tube. 90 miles northeast of Nashville, a battle for the future of America plays out in one small town. Developers with right-wing ties have purchased hundreds of acres of land. We need cities on a shining hill. This is Our Town, a podcast about what happens when a small town becomes the site of a social experiment and fights back. Guess you didn't move in on a bunch of dumb hillbillies now, did you? Listen to Our Town on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.