Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Soap in the Hole with Cat and Nat

Episode Date: February 2, 2023

Podcasters Cat and Nat join Chelsea from their car to talk about what it’s like running a business with your bestie, how they bought new engagement rings together without telling their husbands,  what it’s like co-parenting 7 kids, and why they have a joint bank account.  Then: A weed smoker wonders if 14 years is too long not to cohabitate.  A 26-year-old mom has too many kids - and one very particular favorite.  And a twenty-something has fallen for her roommate… who also happens to be her ex’s cousin. * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Nick Stumpf Produced by Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Bell. Connection is everything. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. You know, I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy.

Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, good morning, Catherine. Oh, hello. Good morning. Does everybody want to hear me sing?

Oh, I don't think so. But I have learned how to dance a little bit. What I've learned is to just sidestep to the beat, like just the two-step. I can do that. So I'm going to do that just for everything. And I'm not going to try to get anything more complicated than that. You know what, Chelsea? We had a—

I just—sorry, Catherine. I just want everyone to know that I'm drinking room-temperature water right now. It's actually got a little bit of a coolness to it, so it's palatable. But this is a real tough pill for me to swallow. She does not like the water. I left my thermos in my car. I love my thermoses. By the way, shout-out to Welly.

They make the best thermoses. I can put ice in my Welly bottle, and it's ice three days later. Yes. Can I tell you something? Yeah. I have made yogurt in my Welly bottle before. Oh, I, you know what, Catherine? This is not something I want to hear about.

This is right up, I'm surprised you didn't say cottage cheese. I have made my own cheese, actually, before. I believe you. I mean, fucking Brad, way to bury the lead being married to Catherine. She's up to no good. I love fermented foods. I had a military death on one of my planes the other day. And we stopped and they were transporting a military bottle.

Body. Let's see, body. And there was a whole ceremony outside the plane with the military and their family, which was sad because they were all crying. But it was really sweet to see how they do that. Wow. I was like, well, wait, I guess the airports aren't that fucked up if they can swing this. You know what I mean? That at least had some decorum and some respect.

Yeah. Because I don't know what's happening with flights lately, but something is way off. One of my girlfriends got stuck at Burbank Airport for like all of Christmas Day. Oh, everyone did. Southwest canceled all their flights. I mean, yeah, it's been pretty brutal, the travel situation, but I guess. I have to tell you, Chelsea, we have not had a question in a long time that's had as much totally varied feedback as Jessie from a couple weeks ago. she called in and remember we talked to her like all like the entire episode with Brooke Shields about her in-laws yelling at her on the rafting trip and then we kind of got out of the call she

seemed to be she needed to do some work yeah well we discovered that early on but we were trying to be respectful before at least I was before I told her yeah so the dishwashing but we had people emailing and being like go get her girls she did wrong other people being like no it was totally her in-laws fault for screaming at her and I just thought it was really interesting I don't know if you've gotten dms about this but I've gotten a lot of no I haven't I haven't yeah that is interesting yeah I'm sure well everybody it's very relatable situation right yeah it's it's tough with in-laws I think nobody deserves to get married you don't have to deal with that that's true another reason okay to put another perk to not being married I think you know her

family's got some shit to work out too because if somebody's screaming at you about dishes two years later they wanted something to be mad at you about you know what I mean I think that's a really kind of icky thing to do if you're at someone's house and you make a habit of nobody's supposed to ask you to help at someone else's house like it's not the onus is not on them you gotta jump in you gotta even I do it and not even I because like I'm someone special even I who doesn't know how to wash dishes I shouldn't be washing dishes it's worse when I do it yeah I always get up and try yeah I try to make an effort because it's manners I mean it's pretty basic Yeah, but people were up in arms about Jessie, really, truly.

Well, people were up in arms once when I did some poll about toilet paper, whether it should be upside down, coming from the bottom, or coming from the top. Or I was on the Drew Barrymore show, and we were doing something, and it was the biggest thing. I mean, there were like 15,000 comments about people's opinions, and I finally figured out that I prefer, because I had never thought about it before, prefer it from the bottom. You do. I don't want it from the top. See, I want it top down. Oh, you do? Interesting.

We're just different in every way, Chelsea. Well, yeah. So far, we have not found one similarity, except that we both are on this podcast. That's accurate. That's what we have in common. Well, Chelsea, today we have some really exciting guests. Okay, great. I can't wait.

I can't wait to find out who they are. Today, we have my two Canadian mom friends, Kat and Nat. These girls are two hot fucking messes, and I'm excited. To have them on, because they're besties, and then they tour around, well, they tour around America, too, and Canada, and they both have a bunch of children, and they talk a lot about motherhood, parenting, and I don't know who turned me on to them, but we're buddies now. They have seven kids between them.

Oh, that's better than me having them. Are you guys ride-sharing? Yeah. Yeah, we are. We always, she doesn't drive. Yeah. She has a car and a license, but she won't drive. Like, I don't drive on the highway, just in the city.

Only a few streets. The city or the suburb? No, we're in the city. I like the city because it's short streets, lots of lights. Like, everything's really fast and quick. But if you go to the suburbs, you have to take the highway. I don't go there. Okay.

This is Kat. I mean, this is, sorry, this is Catherine. Hi. And this is Kat, and this is Nat. No, well, wait. Kat, Nat. Kat and Nat. Doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter. Yeah. I basically just call them both Kat. We can all three be cat today. When they meet us, they'll say, you're cat and gnat, even if we're not together. Hi. Oh, I love you, cat and gnat. That's it.

So it's literally, it's totally fine. I mean, look at us. I know. I wouldn't be confused, too. I know. It is very confusing because you guys do really look a lot alike. But only from hanging out with you, I know that cat is more of like a busy body and gnat is a little bit lazier.

Yeah. she loves to lie vertically I am a lot no horizontally and also they don't want to they went on tour okay let's talk about the genesis of you guys so that I want Catherine to be as familiar with me because I don't even remember how I met you two I just know that we are friends now but explain to Catherine explain the genesis of everything that you two do you guys went on tour as mothers basically right you're talking about motherhood all the time on your Instagram and how nuts it is first of all it was a joke we decided to do a show as a joke because no one invites us anywhere so we were like oh we'll make a party and we our first show you guys we threw for free

gave free drinks and free appetizers for everybody we like we wanted to host a party we didn't pay for it we found people to like sponsor it so we host a party in a theater and then we go out to like go have a cocktail party with everyone and they mauled like we get mauled we were like oh we were just here to hang out and we couldn't get through the crowd the security guard basically took us and pulled us back inside i was like that's weird that was weird like we just need an excuse to get away from the seven kids and go and have a party and for our party we wanted a dj we wanted strippers we wanted flamenco dancers we wanted dancing we wanted drinking we wanted champagne so we just created a party and then started selling tickets to it and then our agents

were like okay if you can sell out like three more theaters we'll talk about a tour okay just kind of all came together we had a podcast and I don't know it just I wrote a couple books and then Chelsea once like commented on our Instagram and we died and and the people were Texas you see the Chelsea's oh my god that I don't want to actually talk to her like I didn't want to I'm like don't say yes to our podcast because that's pressure and then because you're like a real you're funny or funny and famous or not us her I honestly and then it was more like we're just shit shows and people liked that so and now we've seen Chelsea three times this year one we came to your show in Toronto two you met us at the Soho house three we're seeing you right now where do

you guys live and you live in Toronto so everyone knows they're Canadian yeah but they tour in America so what was your agent for before you decided to start how did you even have an agent She emailed every person at WME and just said, you know what? We're heading out and we may need someone to help us with deals. And they said yes. It was so weird. But we did. We were doing, like, we were doing videos.

We were doing the Mom Truths videos. And those were videos in the car just, like, talking about what it's like to be a mom. We were doing, what else do we do? But not glorifying what it's like to be a mom. No. They talk about how hard it is to be a mom. Just how demanding it is and all the disappointments in that you're not going to win all the time. and there's going to be a lot of failures and you're going to feel like a failure and that all

of that is fine yeah and that's exactly how we felt when we first had our babies we were just like we thought this was going to be so beautiful and it's actually not and nobody's talking about it so let's just start doing some videos because a lot of moms were like blogging at the time and we weren't going to sit down and write so we did videos no one was doing videos social media wasn't really a thing and then everything just came at the same time like we had been doing live streaming through youtube and then facebook live came so we turned it to facebook live it's been a lot of like chance and opportunity and saying, yes, you know, we were, we went to a conference that we had really no idea. We just kind of decided to go. And the today show was there and the two producers,

they found us walking in a hallway and they asked us a question. And then they were like, wait, will you two come with us here? I'm like, yeah, sure. And then we just went with them. And then it's actually been a lot of women who, because we really are naive in this world of what we've been doing. And it's really been women like you, Chelsea, and like the today show and people have just said like yes and they've they've just helped us and you know when you open a door like even when you comment that's what people see and they're like oh she's looking at them that means that they're worthy of me looking at them unfortunately it's sort of the way it looks and even when you don't think you're opening doors kindness goes so far and you you personally

have opened a ton of doors for us and we know people say yes because you've said yes so i just think you know i see like amy schumer now comments and follows us and i'm pretty sure that that's probably because she saw you you know what I mean that you did so then she kind of took notice and now I just think a lot of women have been so impactful in ways they don't know for us because it's really a lot of yeses that's all we've really done and stumbled and failed and gotten up and some shows are do shit and terrible and you're like oh that's not my demo but you can't let that hurt your ego because we don't knock it out of every city but we figure out we regroup and we go back to the place you know what I mean it's always reverse correct reverse correct it's kind

of like that. And what would you say that you feel like thus far your biggest impact has been for other mothers? I think it's like for women, too. You know, we have a lot of young people who follow us, like 15 year olds, 14 year olds who wait in the parking lot after the show and sneak into our shows to come see us. And I think that right now it's our friendship for a lot of people that brings them hope and that they find comfort in our friendship even more than motherhood. Oh, yeah, that's true. Because that's honestly, that's what attracted me to you to the bestie vibe. I always love a bestie dynamic. And I feel like we fuck up constantly, but we pick each other up. And it's because we have each other, we can do what we do. And I

think that our friendship is really and the young people are on TikTok. Like if this isn't us when we're older than I don't want to be. I love that. Yeah. So it's sort of this weird, you know, you don't have to give up your best friend because you're an adult. And I think that's what a lot of people think. You have to grow up and lose your friendship. No, you just have to time your babies and families together so that you're both on the same track. Because I was asking them about their other friendships independent of their own because you both have separate groups of friends that don't necessarily cross over to your cat or Nat, right? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, we have separate friendships.

We for sure planned a bunch of them. We're like, don't, you can't pull out. You know what I mean? Like, you're not pulling a friend. It's like you are staying in there. We planned the babies before our husbands had any idea what was happening. It's almost like your husbands are both just so inconsequential in this dynamic. It's, you know, I feel sad for them, but I also feel like, you know, good.

Well, they travel, they take care of the kids. They're the ones, yeah, it's pickup time right now and they check off, they're not working so they can pick up the kids. So they are also a huge reason, they support our friendship and what we do. So we are very, they're not just sperm, you know what I mean? Okay, well, sure, sure. We'll agree on that. Also, they travel on a tour bus and they don't sleep in the same bed because they don't,

they're not down with that. But that's more Nat than Kat, right? From what I remember. Would you two sleep together? I would sleep in a bed with anybody. I have no problems with that. I do snuggle though. I mean, I prefer, well, not if we're sleeping together.

Well, you won't. This one over here. Fuck. You're going to snuggle me? My one friend, I have one friend who always wants to sleep holding hands. So I had to kick her out of, I go, you know what? I'm not holding hands with you all night. I was down to sleep with you.

she slept over my house the other night and we woke up in the morning and there's plenty of rooms for her to sleep in and she got up in the morning and she goes i didn't touch you i didn't touch you i'm like yeah that's what the fuck is supposed to happen can't sleep with me if you're gonna fucking hold my hand you're not my boyfriend you know well honestly we always say like we have tried to teach these seven kids to sleep independently on their own and then finally they learn how to sleep on their own and then you get your relationship and now you're supposed to share a bed again like it just doesn't make sense for the way that we have learned how to sleep So, yeah, I mean, she does it too.

We build a wall between our husbands of pillows. And I don't want, like, maybe his feet might creep over like a hand might creep over. But that's not going to happen between the two of us. Independent sleeping. Like, if I can have my own bed. I haven't had my own bed in a long time. Like, someone's in you, on you, or wants to get in you at all times. So, you're like, when you get your own bed, it's like, that's amazing.

Sheer heaven. So, you want, like, Lucy and Ricky style. Like, two beds in the bedroom. So sometimes people will fly us out and they'll get us two rooms. And then we get to the hotel. We're like, we only use one room with two beds. But can we change that king to two queens? That's the ultimate for all sleeping is to be in the same room or the same house with a big group.

But everyone has their own privacy. Yes, dreams. Catherine, why did Lucy and Ricky sleep in separate beds? Well, I think it wasn't allowed for them to have one bed. Well, no, that was in that time era. Like people did that. People had separate sleeping arrangements. I'm not sure.

I guess. Why did that change? I'm not sure. I don't know. They were married, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

They made little Ricky. So they were fucking smarter than us, I guess. I mean, that's what that's what needs to come back in style. It should be retroactive. I think everyone who has a child, I don't even have a child and I feel that way. But anyone who has a child is definitely on board for separate beds. Is your dog free with you, Chelsea? Yeah.

Yeah. I want them to, but they even reject me. They don't want to stay in the bed all night. I have to leave the little doggy steps so Bernice will, like, humor me. She's like, oh, here we go. You know, she thinks I'm, like, assaulting her. So she goes to her safe spot while I assault her. And then I put her under the covers like we're going to do it.

And I notice that if I have the confidence of her not leaving, she will remain. It's when I look at her and, like, you know, and I'm worried about her leaving is when she leaves. So she can vibe off me. It senses your insecurity. Yes, yes. And Bern has basically turned into some sort of limp biscuit. it. So I can't, he's not getting in my bed because he's frail now. So I have to respect that. No more abuse, even though he's probably got that way from my abuse. Anyway. So let's talk a little bit

about your friendship. Okay. We've talked about it before when you guys interviewed me, but I think it's inspiring for a lot of people that will be listening, how your friendship works and what the benefits to each of your lives are by having such a close, fun work friend relationship. Kat, why don't you start I think for us it will number one it allows you to take sort of more risks because when there's two of you losing and failing it's a lot it's funnier and it's a lot easier than when it's one of you and I think that when you're both in it together there's no everything feels fun that we do there's nothing we could be on a delay on an airplane for 12 hours and it's funny like there's it just the stakes just feel different because it's everything's kind of a joke and

in a way that when parenting is going to shit, we call each other and thank God it often doesn't go to shit at the same time or when your relationship's not great. And you always have someone to share everything with because there's, you're so intimate with them, but you don't have sex with them that it's like this weird, it's not transactional. We're so tight that when you know, when someone's going through something, they don't have to say it. The other one can just pick up the work slack knowing that that one needs that and vice versa. So it's this weird, think we get double done because there's two of us versus one of us and there's no if we failed and lost everything tomorrow I would be okay because our ride has been so much fun and we

would still have each other and we'd probably figure out something else to do in a different capacity but this wouldn't change and I think that's the coolest thing about our friendship it's friendship first and then fun and then work yeah and what about you now I want you to speak on it. This is going to be hard for her. She doesn't do feelings. I know. That's why you're going second. She got inspired. She told me recently why I love her. We were on a plane and we were talking about love and what love is and why she loves me and I love her. And she basically told me I love her because she does things for me, like drive me around and make sure she stays, book her plane tickets, renew her license. I was like, I think it's more than that,

but maybe that's all it is. It's been 14 years of being moms together and there has been so many hard times. It hasn't all been like peachy keen. We've had a postpartum anxiety. We've had sickness. We've had so many things, but being able to rely on your friend to, like she said, pick up when the other one can't. But also like my kids say to me, you are so lucky. You get to go to work every day with your best friend and there's no boss, right? We're equal bosses. So we don't have to go into work, have a boss, go to work all day with a bunch of like weirdos or strangers. It's just us. And everything we get to do is fun. I do remind them that what we do is work and we work hard together, but we work together really well because we know each other

so well, but yeah, we get to just have fun. And also it's really great that our children get to have sort of like a second mother so that when, um, like our siblings, our seventh, which is my baby, my baby's a seven, but our seventh is so ferocious because she's had to have like seven above her. Like she's grown up with six siblings, essentially ferocious. She's ferocious. I'm the youngest of six. So I know exactly what you're talking about. Our two babies are ferocious. and I just think they're so lucky that they always have a built-in tribe. Like, you know, I'm sure you feel it.

Like when you have a lot of people around you, it's like this built-in little thing that you got bumpers around you. And we take them on vacation together and we spend summers together and we force them all together. I hate us walking on the plane, 11 of us, seven children and the two of us walking onto a plane.

Everyone's like, my daughter has spilled a hot cup of noodles on two different men on two different plane rides. They had to change their pants. Oh, God. Oh, how humiliating. She offered him candy as, like, an apology. And we left the two girls like, Mom, we spilled.

I don't know who you are. You deal with this man and his dad. That's when you fan out. Fan out and get away from your children. You don't want to be seen with them. And do you guys have similar parenting styles? Are you guys, like, agree on the way you parent? Or you do differ in that way?

We, like, parent each other's children differently. Like, her kids will come to me for some things, and my kids will go to her for things. Like, we definitely have different personalities. our mothers mothered us differently. But overall, I respect totally the way that she does it. And she respects the way that I do it. We go to each other for different advices. Like she has experts and I have expertise and then we blend. And what do you think your strong suit is? Your strong parenting suit is, Kat? Oh, God, that's so serious. You know, I'm like the talker. So they'll call me

like yesterday. She's like, Mom, we're going through some anxiety. Can you walk us through these feelings of we're in the car and our kids in the car? I'm like, yep, let's go. Here we go. i'm like i don't know where we go when we die i like i do the sex like i'm the sex conversation i land the plane you know i'm like if you don't know about a boner by grade two we're screwed so like i'm like boner penis vagina people do it for fun and for babies we sit them all down and lay it out and not as strong suit as she's the one who's like let's get up on the couch and the tables and dance we bring the fun and i'm the combo she's the person who's like the party starter like always yes can we have a bag of candy yes can we go here yes yeah but I'm not I'm not there to talk

talk about no they'll all call me I'm like let's talk oh okay I see I see yeah I understand that I get that from you too and then I have to because we share a bank account and a credit card so we all all of our money goes into one account the two of us oh you are married you guys you guys co-mingle your funds yeah yes but like we have other like the funds with the husbands and that's where everything's in no and we have to look at the budget but with us like we didn't even know for the first few years we had to pay taxes we had the most amazing first couple of years until we found out about all that they're basically like you're broke you need to start fresh and we're like shit but we always just like we like to spend money if you want something i'm

like let's go get it and then we just go buy it out of the company oh my god i love that you have a bank account together. That is so ridiculous. We changed our wedding engagement rings to different styles together without our husbands. I just told you 10 minutes ago that your husbands are inconsequential and you disagree with me and you're just proving my point. Everything you're saying is supporting what I said 10 minutes earlier. So yeah, they're very valuable. Thank God for those two. Thank God for them. Well, we tried to curate your episode today, ladies. Yes. Catherine is very good at curating towards, you know, the guests that we have on to the callers so that you're going to be of some help since I know that Nat isn't to talk therapy

and she's going to be really valuable in this conversation. Yeah, no, Nat will not go to therapy, but you probably still have some good advice that you can share. Chelsea, I was a social worker previous to this long show. You were Nat's social worker before you guys teamed up. Yes. well we're gonna take a quick break and then we'll be back and we'll take some callers and some emails okay we're taking a break

behind every night spent making the kids lunches there's a lot of suspense will they finally eat the veggies will the pesto survive the first bite will the lunchbox come home empty half full or come home at all and will you finish episode 8 before you're done slicing the cucumbers Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on Internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability.

Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything.

Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.

I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations,

or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, We share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle.

I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind,

or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. We're back. We're back. Well, our first email comes from a mom who is going by Tired AF.

Dear Chelsea, I'm a 26-year-old mom of four, two of which I had eight months ago. Twin girls. One of them is so chill, only cries when she needs something, and an all-around normal baby. The other one is exhausting. In her defense, she does have colics, some stomach problems, and she's currently teething. But she literally never stops crying.

Since the day she was born, she's crying like 50% of every day. I have a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old who also do their fair share of crying, and it gets to me. I find myself thinking about how nice it would be if she could be more like her twin sister. She's the easiest baby I've ever cared for, and I'm the oldest of 10, so I've had my fair share of experiences with babies. My question to you is, how do I not play favorites with the twins when there so obviously is one? I, of course, love them both equally, but let's be honest. I'm scared this might carry into the future and become a problem when they get older and start to realize the vibe, but it's so hard to keep it together with everything going on.

What do I do about having a favorite? Sincerely, Tired AF. I can't even believe that she had the time to write that. Like that sounds like such a shit show over there. I mean, she's 26 years old. Like her brain just got fully developed a year ago. Just now. That is crazy.

And the only thing I could think of is I have four kids as well. I did not have four kids at 26. I did not have nine siblings. But there is times in the cycle of our children that there is a favorite. And absolutely, that quiet baby is going to be the favorite because it's giving the least problems but my quietest ones a year later are the hardest ones and and people always ask us do you have a favorite I'm like it depends on the day so I'm pretty sure that quiet little one isn't going to be your favorite forever that one's terrible

teenager that one's going to come out of nowhere yeah you never get nothing nothing's got free no one's good for life you know your quiet baby's going to be a pregnant pregnant drug addict by 14. So enjoy the time that you have them as your favorite, because I've talked to a lot of men about this. Cause I know women's answer is pretty kind of what you guys are saying. I always get an interesting answer. Men have consistently said, whichever child needs me the most is their favorite. And that changes all the time too. So it's kind of like the opposite of what this woman is going through. So I think, I don't think it's unusual to have a favorite. My mom said the same thing all the time. It's just like, depends on what day of the week you ask me. Yeah. And whoever's

the easiest to deal with is obviously so don't feel guilty about that you're not alone at all no and just you know I'm just thinking about Kat's family and my family and we both know who our mom's favorite is and it's not no it's your brother yeah I guess and I'm fine with that and she does um Natalie here does happen to have one child blown up in giant life's like giant on the wall for many years just one of them and she has four kids but one made the wall he's so big He's honestly the most photogenic. So it was huge. You walked in.

It was a portrait of him. And I'm like, isn't that wrong? And I'm like, listen, we had a photo shoot and one kid nailed it. He gets the huge picture on the wall. That was it. He got it. Good luck next time, Jigs. That's funny.

I always say that to my family. I'm like, it's just because I'm the best looking one, you guys. I mean, that's why everything's working out the way it has. I'm like, this world is about looks and I got them. So back up. and that's how she that's how she feels too oh my gosh although he is a little on the short side compared to everybody else so he needed the wall if you will okay we needed to start early so yeah i like all the reasoning behind the big picture on the wall so far i'm totally on board

with this that's actually a good way to keep kids in check if you have three or more totally blow one up and put it on the wall and be like guess who the favorite of the month is everybody needs step their fucking game up oh my gosh you are on you are on to something favorite of it's like the employee of the month yes everyone needs incentivization children you know how when you went to sleep away camp I went to the sleep away camp well no my parents couldn't afford sleep away camp so they sent me to this day camp and every day as somebody would get like best swimmer or best finger blaster or whatever you do and it felt even though I saw everyone every day get an award as a kid it felt so good to get the award you know it feels so good and that's

I mean who doesn't like that that Pavlovian you know response and reward yeah so yeah I think everybody listening I just gave you I mean it just came out and I think it's awesome yeah it's a great way to keep everybody together yeah and if you have braces you just have to wait to get those off to hit the wall no I think I disagree Nat I disagree I think sometimes kids with braces are the best and they should be given their due right not based it shouldn't be based on looks it should be based on who's the best kid that month who had the best behavior you know what i mean yeah okay fair all right or best grades or whatever however you want to categorize it is up to you i love it yeah love it and then when they're teenagers and they hate you and they're embarrassed by everything

you put their picture on the wall until they're good and then you can take it down yeah oh my gosh i love that yes humiliation there's probably going to be an age where they don't want their picture on the wall so then you have to like re-strategize yeah yeah you know then you put yourself up but you put a nude up you know don't be if you don't be going up you know mommy and daddy in their boudoir shot yeah or you just make it yeah that's good to threaten them with like you're going to do a lot of public displays of affection with your husband that's also a good threat yeah yeah write that book hot parenting tips absolutely so our next caller and this what person's calling in. They're going to be on a Zoom, so girls, okay? Yes, be ready. It's a little

juicy. Veronica says, Dear Chelsea, the situation I'm in is quite a doozy. For the last six months, I was really unhappy in my relationship of five years, and after talking to my therapist a few months ago, I decided that it would be best to end the relationship. As I started emotionally checking out, I started flirting with his cousin that also happened to be our roommate. For reference, I'm 25, my ex is 26, and his cousin is 29. The three of us were very close and would do a lot together, and I saw the cousin as a really good friend. After flirting, sneaking some kisses, and confessing love to each other at the house, I couldn't take the guilt and ended my relationship, then promptly moved out. After giving myself some time to adjust and making

sure my feelings for his cousin were real, we decided to start seeing each other. Things were going really well, but now he's started to get very upset about how much this would hurt his cousin and how he hates having to keep our relationship a secret. I've told him multiple times that you can't help who you fall for and that together we can make it work, but I still have the fear that this is all going to blow up. I don't know if just coming clean about everything would be a good idea or if we should wait a few more months to give their family more time to get over the breakup. My biggest concern is his family hating him and exiling him over me, but I'm truly so in love with him and if he says we can make it work i want to believe him help i don't even

know where to start veronica hi there hi hi how are you how are you guys good our special guest today our cat and nat and so they're here today and you have katherine so you have four of us yes i need all the advice i can get i know i know you do need advice so you were dating your previous boyfriend for how long? Five years. And you've been broken up for how long? Going on close to 10 months now. Okay. So this is going to be a problem for a lot of people. Yeah. Yeah. So I get it. I mean, it's pretty tricky. Their family is going to be upset. Somebody is going to be upset. I think so. Yeah. I would say that's a safe bet. And is your boyfriend, your current boyfriend who is your ex-boyfriend's cousin is he contemplating your relationship at all or is he

committed no he is committed a hundred percent okay so you're both done you're gonna be together and you're gonna tell his family at some point right yeah it's just a matter of when okay well I guess I'll go first and then you girls can hop on and give your opinion I would just say the sooner you come clean the sooner everybody can acclimate to the new situation and the sooner everybody has to stop hiding but be prepared for a big thunderstorm that's going to last for a long time possibly potentially but I think you should probably try and get the truth out sooner than later and then you know the sooner everyone can get over it yeah and it should be you yeah it should be the boyfriend the good point it should be your family yeah you should be your

boyfriend i don't know who should tell the boyfriend maybe you should tell the boyfriend yeah i mean who are you going to tell first the boyfriend right your ex yeah yeah that's pretty tricky what do you girls think what does everyone think do they have to know that you were together when they all were together does that all have to come out no so that's no another topic we kind of agreed to never say that anything started while the previous relationship was going on but we think that it would be really obvious that things would start to click once the truth came out so yeah like my initial lie yeah like wait a few months and then act like you guys ran into each other and it was so nice to see each other again and things started but that's people always

say the truth always freaking comes out and then you're gonna have to not only face that you're dating him but now the lies and all of the tears the thing veronica it's never gonna get easier so waiting longer is not gonna make it easier so freaking rip it and just be like we're dating we're in love we're happy is the family understanding people are they wild are we gonna flip tables really understanding people oh well it's a good start okay i mean did you break up was he heartbroken does he have an ex heartbroken i would say yes he was very shocked and surprised does he have a new lady not yet hook him up we got to get him a new lady then he needs to keep completely over you and so in love that he doesn't care what's going on

it would be great if you could wait until he has a girlfriend that would be good because then he won't care as much because it's just going to be a shit show you're it's exactly right the truth is going to come out. They're going to piece it all together. And if you admit that you guys were flirting while you were with him, then he's never going to forgive you. He's going to hold on to that for years. And that's just such bad news. Like, I wish you could just find a lie. Was there kind of some overlap there? I know you said there were some stolen kisses, but like, was there like sex overlap? No, no, no, no, no, no. That's candy. Yeah.

Good for you. Don't say it. Yeah. Just say there was flirting. We flirted and we knew that was wrong and that's why I broke up with you. I was flirting with your cousin and I knew it was wrong. And obviously don't volunteer that there were any kisses. If he asked did anything happen you take that as sex.

No, no, we didn't have sex. I didn't want to do that while we were dating. I don't think you should admit the kissing behind the sneaking kisses. I don't like that and I'm advocating for you to lie. I am too. Yeah, those details might just hurt more. They don't have to know everything. Exactly. You guys can play it off like you've been dating for a few months because you I mean, what you said you did, which is moving out, giving yourself some space to like figure out if this was really real.

Turns out it was 10 months. You know what I mean? You did a lot of the right things. You stopped it when it was going a certain direction. And I think, you know, having some white lies in there about not having physical intimacy. I think that's just fine, too. Yeah. That's so nice that you're so in love. yeah it's very refreshing compared to the last five years so well don't fucking say that i won't tell him that no yeah yeah yeah but you know what you and your new boyfriend if you can weather this storm that you're gonna about to get into and listen maybe it's not gonna be a big deal that would be ideal but i mean it probably will be a big deal you know people like to get his brother you know it could have been his brother at least it's just a cousin or his dad yeah

that's a good thing to bring up say at least i wasn't fucking your father great see how he likes that i just say it you know better or your mother what if i was fucking your mother that would be a real shocker you know that would be a double whammy yeah you really gotta say that this is a best case scenario i feel like it is a bit removed from the family yeah not immediate I didn't go for immediate family. Yes. Yes. Yeah.

And I think also you have to be very, once this is out, be very sensitive to the fact that people are going to have like their little feelings about it. And then that will just eventually fade out. Yeah. Just know. The family probably doesn't like the cousin that much. You always talk shit about cousins. You know what I mean?

They might not even be that close. So maybe you're in a great place. And get a DNA test. Maybe they're not even cousins. Oh my gosh. A lot of surprises out there. Well, that would be an idea. And that really is true?

It is. Yeah. Get your 23andMe. I bet you. Who knows? Who knows? There we go. Wow.

Things really took a turn for a positive here. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. But also, like, it's been 10 months. Hopefully, it won't be a big deal. Right? It's been a while. Yeah.

Yeah. It's been a while. Yeah. Make sure you let us know what happens, okay? I'm very interested. I definitely will. And let us know when it happens, what happens. Yeah.

Call us back, okay? I'll give you all the juicy details. Thank you. Yes. Perfect. Okay. Good luck with that. That's right. That's awesome. That's going to be one fucked up situation. Holy shit. I'm so glad I'm not hurt. I can feel the vibes from that family just by talking to her. I know it's going to go badly. The ancestors are going to be pissed. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they

finally eat the veggies will the pesto survive the first bite will the lunchbox come home empty half full or come home at all and will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers get bell pure fiber internet with crave netflix and disney plus from 94 a month price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.

I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, Without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.

But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story.

I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle.

I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip,

I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We have another caller, gals. This is Emily. Emily is 46. She says, hi, favorite podcast. I left an abusive marriage in 2007. In 2008, I met a guy who, 14 years later, is still around. When we got together, we bonded over our terrible marriages.

and we had kids, so our relationship became our private island. We communicate well and became great travel buddies. We don't live together, and our kids are grown. I love my me time, and so I'm on the fence about living together. When I think about getting older and having a partner to help me with things that happen when you get old, like falling or getting sick, it seems like a good idea. He just says, maybe someday. Someday is fine. I'm a weed smoker and super happy just to be living and somewhat successful. I was once anxious and now moved to a secure attachment style person. Been in therapy since I was a teen. I have so much life left to live and it would be easy to let another 15 years pass just as we are. He's still in my life, but

recently the relationship's been sort of fizzling. We're still in contact, but not really together. Is it worth sticking it out another couple of years or have we peaked already and it's time to move on i'm such an easygoing person i'm worried i'm going to let life pass me by i find myself asking after 14 years together and not cohabitating should i be asking for more sincerely emily hi emily yay this is kat and nat are who are special guests today they're from canada hey pot is very legal here oh nice perfect and you know katherine because you probably spoke to her already. She's amazing. Okay. So you've been with your partner for 14 years and you say you're independent, but then you say that you want to move in together. So it's a little confusing.

Which one do you want? Okay. So it's a little confusing of a situation. We did break up. It's sort of run its course. This has been going on for a long time, but I kind of like I'm growing up, I guess. I think I finally became an adult this year kind of thing where the same things we used to do. Like he would come over and we'd hang out, we'd smoke. We were, you know, this great, perfect private Island situation. And then after it got old, it just, you know, it kind of, I got busy. I like to do things outside. He doesn't. And so I stopped doing all the things that I would do to get ready to hang out with them. And to me, that was a sign that I shouldn't continue this. I should at least think about what I need at this point in my life.

Now, I love him. We get along great. Sounds like you're describing your brother or your best friend. Like, the excitement is gone. It's over. So move on and you need to find something else. You have to be excited about the person that you are fucking. You have to be excited and want to look good for when they come over and look in the mirror

and actually care about what you look like. I know that after 14 years, that's not typical, but so great. You're not married to him. You have no reason to hang on to this. You can move on and use him as like, you know, how to have him in your life as a friendship. It's so easy to see. Yeah, for sure. Is that appropriate to be friends?

I guess I'm a little unclear on what. As long as you don't have expectations from him, you know, if you can transition into a friendship where you're not having sex with him, because I think that's confusing and that muddies the waters. We're not having sex. We haven't had sex in like a year. I mean, if it's OK to be friends with him. But, you know, sometimes when we have somebody old in our life, it kind of prevents us from moving on to the new person.

So I don't know if that's happening, but it sounds like what you're describing is pretty stale. And I'm thinking like when you said you're 46 and you're already looking at a time where you get old and fall down, you have you are still so young. There's so much more time. Don't fuck my jam up. Like, what are you talking about? 40 is the new 25. Like, it doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. No, the whole point of that was, so we do, he has some stomach issues and he was in the hospital. I didn't get a call for three days. So that's the story there. It's like, we are getting older and like, these are things I should be thinking about, but don't. No, I disagree. No, you're right. You're totally right. You're not sick. Why do you have to think about that? Yeah. Men are going south before women too. So don't hook up with a guy thinking he's taking care of you because you were definitely taking care of him before he takes care of you. You know what i mean you gotta look out for you go younger yes yeah genius yeah it's go younger and also you want your vibration here not settling yeah like vibration when you settle it just is like

a limp biscuit yeah yeah hire a nanny to babysit you when you get older you know what i mean i would rather pay somebody to take care of me in my last dying days than have any fucking child or niece or nephew and my nieces and nephews love me and they would take care of me but i would rather pay somebody to do it so that when I say get me a Belvedere on the rocks with a splash of fucking soda on my deathbed they're gonna do that Chelsea can I tell you where you can do that really well my sister works in elder law and she said that what a lot of people are doing these days is rather than going into assisted living which is like 10 grand a month they just go on cruises cruise after cruise after cruise because there's more doctors per capita on a cruise than

at the nursing home yeah but then you have to go on a fucking cruise Catherine fuck I'm not doing that I would go on a limited edition cruise like there has to be less than 50 people and then I'll go great and I have to be able to throw each one of them overboard but anyway you're fucking 46 you're not everything's great yeah but can I ask you a question Chelsea so like I know you really love your alone time and I really identified with that my kid went back to school and I had the best day yesterday just by myself and so do you ever think about in that situation being very comfortable well, are you too comfortable? Or like, do you think that you should keep- I don't think you, you don't need to overanalyze yourself. Whatever feels good to you is the right

thing. We are all, we live in a society where it's a good thing to like have introspection, but you don't have to be overly analytical about every little move you make. There's no such thing as I spend too much time by myself. The other night I went to bed at 5.19 PM. Okay. Anyone else would be like, are you depressed? I don't give a fuck. I wanted, all I could think about was going to bed, I looked at my sleep number in the morning, my stats on my phone, and it said you fell asleep at 5.19 p.m. And I was like, what a victory lap, you know? Like, yeah, it's whatever you feel that you need is what you need. Stop judging yourself. And also, it's okay if that changes. Yes, it does change. As it does, it changes all the time. So whatever you're feeling

is never going to last forever. Like, you know, you're just in this mood right now, and then you're going to get out of that mood but I would say you know take a little separation from that guy and his stomach yeah yeah my one question I think is why it's been such a slow burn for you to make the change like it's been like a year and a half of this relationship dissolving and no sex and you know you're still wondering like do I give it two more years what is that there everybody know that's a big silent gap we're just all waiting and while you figure out what your answer is the answer is i'm not waiting i just this situation is here i'm i've moved on with my life and i think that i need to put a cap on that relationship and say like look we had a good

run and you know is he gonna feel the same way just how does he feel he knows about this call like he's who cares you know your answer and we all know you know your answer you just wanted to tell you what to do but you know what to do you just said it we didn't have to say anything you just wanted someone else to tell you you want to cap that off yeah yeah that's right i think you should write that i think you should write that on your refrigerator who cares and that is to you and what anyone else might possibly think of you. Start with that mantra every single day. I love it.

Yeah. I love it. Yeah, you have your whole world, like you're going to have a lot of men in your life. We just sometimes have to clean out the garbage in our lives. Not that, you know, any person is garbage. That's not what I'm saying. It's just some people aren't adding to our value

and some people are only there for a short period of time. And in your case, a long period of time. But it's time to dust out those cobwebs and get going with the rest of your life. Yeah. Oh, this could be such an exciting time for you. Yeah. Especially you just became a grown up and you just found yourself.

Yeah. It's going to be a good time. I have a couple of people have hit me up over the past year that I just haven't been ready to date. But yeah, I like being by myself right now. I got it. Then don't do it. You don't have to move in with them right away.

Right. I don't want to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just go with the flow. I remember once I was hanging out with this group of people. This is a long time ago.

And I remember looking around going, this isn't going to cut it. These people are not going to cut it. I'm too cool to be in this group. And you have to remember that about yourself. When you're too cool for a situation, go and find people that are on your vibe, not people that are on your, like, lower than your vibe. Totally. Yeah.

And if I could go back and dry hump people, I would just dry hump. Like, I would, if I were you, I would just dry hump and make out with them. It would just send a thank you for the night and move on. I love that advice. Dry humping isn't that bad, actually. Dry humping is going to probably make a comeback at some point. It should. It's really fun.

Yeah, yeah. Because you can actually, a woman can come or climax from dry humping. Yeah. And it lasts a lot longer. Just get in there, zipper, and you're good to go. Yeah. Or a set of monkey bars. I can't believe you put that in your book, by the way.

Because I think every woman was like, that's okay that we did that? Oh, yeah. You girls, I used to masturbate over my pants. It was called The Feeling when I was growing up. I was so excited. I had no idea because you would never touch your Pikachu directly. It would be over the jeans. But if the seam of the jeans were the right seam, a fixed seam, you could make yourself come even faster.

So I would lie down behind an ottoman. I'd get home after school, and I would just be like, just rubbing myself. But I'd have my vagina covered by the ottoman in case anyone walked into the living room, and they would just see me face down on the floor. Meanwhile, I had rug burns on my chin. I was so into myself. I could not get enough of myself. All I would do was jerk off all the time.

And I didn't know I was masturbating. I mean, I knew it was like a secret, but I was just like, oh, all my girlfriends were doing it. And so I would just be sitting there rubbing my vagina, rubbing my vagina. And then finally we were at dinner one night and I had a ladle and it was a whole family dinner. And I couldn't, like, I couldn't even take a break for dinner. If OnlyFans were alive then, I would have been on it. And so I had this spoon in between my legs and I was rubbing myself at the dinner table. and I obviously became red or sweaty or something and my mom goes Chelsea what you're doing needs

to be done in the privacy of your own room and then my brother Roy yells she does it all the time and I looked around the table and I was like oh my god everyone's known this whole time that I've been fucking jerking off like I thought I was sleuth you know like I was like oh my god and I was so devastated that I did not masturbate until I was in my 40s because I was so shamed about it I hate that for you I hated that my brothers knew that I was jerking off very common it's very common of course it is of course it is I mean yeah they're jerking off yeah constantly you know the show Young Sheldon I want to watch the show Young Chelsea oh yeah I know I need to make it I know we were working on that once anyway did you get your advice that you came here for

i did i love you so much okay stitching them all right good well when you get a new boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever you're into obviously men right now but that can always change also be open-minded and when you're in a new situation and you're feeling really positive about your life please send us a line and let us know yes of course we'll do thank you thanks emily bye emily bye thanks ladies oh my god didn't even take a break for dinner No. What a productive call that was. That was great.

Yeah. Isn't it funny that you can just talk to someone and you can feel their energy just by talking to them, like if it's high or low? I wish that was more like measurable. You know, when people talk about energy, I wish somebody could say, oh, you're at an 80 so that people would take it more seriously. Because like the high vibes are so important and there are people that just bring you down. Yeah. You know, and it's not their fault or that they're a bad person. You're just not on the same frequency.

Yeah. We should have like a little thing above our head that says like what percent we're at. Like a halo. Yeah. Yeah. I have one more quick question from Brittany. Brittany. Brittany Spears?

I spelled with an I, so a little different. Maybe not. A little different. Dear Chelsea, I have a situation I've been wrestling with for about a year. I'm 36 years old and never wanted kids until this last year. I married my husband last year and we've been together for eight years total. I really love him. We mostly have a great relationship. We have three cats we adore. But the thing is, he does not want to have kids. We always agreed about this until a year ago. I kept thinking that the desire to have kids would just be a phase and go away, but it keeps getting stronger. I'm really confused and torn on what to do.

The thought of leaving makes me sad and the fear of trying to find a partner and have kids at my age seems scary I'm freezing my eggs. So that helps take some of the pressure off, but it's still a huge undertaking I'm worried that later on i'll have some regret about not taking a chance on having a family of my own I'm also worried that i'll regret leaving a good marriage and potentially fucking up my life with a crappy partner or the challenges of parenthood How can I make this decision i'm going to therapy but I feel stuck the clock is ticking which is so stressful Thanks for your help, Brittany. So the husband decided he didn't want to have kids. I think neither of them did.

And then she just like changed her mind. Oh, OK. Like something hit her and she just she felt like she was maternal and she needed to have a baby. Oh, wow. She really has to decide what does she want more, him or the baby? Because she actually doesn't she doesn't need him to make the baby. No. She could do it alone.

She doesn't need to find another partner to have a baby either. If they did fizzle, like if they broke up, like she can have a baby on her own. Yeah. Yeah. But that's not going to make her feel good. She wants to have a husband and that baby. Yeah. So you guys are parents.

So you need to handle this. It's happened to a lot of our friends, actually. And they broke up with the partner to have the baby because you're going to end up if you can't let it go, you're going to hate them. You're going to resent them that they never did it. And you will just find problems even if there isn't a problem. You'll create problems. So it's rather be honest and be like, I've changed my mind.

and maybe he doesn't know how she's nervous to say i really really want this this is what he might be like then i can get on board you never know if you're really honest with it yeah like maybe eight years ago when they started together they totally agreed on that but he really wasn't as like he wasn't as determined to not have them as she was now she's changed her mind who knows maybe he has too yeah yeah yeah i don't know oh god i my husband didn't want a third really and it was a big conversation. But that's different. That's different.

I know, but it was a very big conversation. I think for some people, they have to be like, this is so important to me. I don't know if I can keep being with you if I can't do this. And then he might be like, I never knew.

Let's maybe... Let's talk about it. Think about what we're going to do here. Yeah. It's so much more than do I leave him or do I get a baby? Because she might not even be able to have a baby.

You know, like there's so many X factors. It's so hard to say, leave them and go get a new partner and a baby maybe there's wiggle room in two years or you know if she's freezing his eggs does he not know something's coming up or is she doing it in secret well she's freezing her eggs yeah i think you should know well men don't have eggs fyi i just thought you messed up on the word i'm like i did you know they don't have eggs her eggs her eggs yeah and she might be doing it alone it's expensive to do that too yeah in canada it is yeah I think you have to be like if you really are thinking about this a you have to want to

have that baby 150 you have to be committed to that and if you are that committed to that baby and that's more important to you than your husband is right now then yeah you've got to leave him and go pursue that but I mean you have to really know that you want to do that not just be curious about being a mother I think you know sometimes I know how strong a maternal instinct can be at least I hear about it but uh i think you have to examine really how important that is to you and then that's your decision right there you know yeah did you have like a whoopsie like you know get artificially inseminated and then be like oh my no no that's bad well yeah but also but you're also married so yeah i mean i mean i'm not against that like oh my god i don't know how it happened

trick him into a baby okay well we did okay well that's yeah that's your advice what's her name no britney i actually think that's a good idea that's just i like that i would do that yeah if i was a manipulative person that was something i would think about or just you know is that how you wound up with baby number three no no locked him in you know wrap my legs you're not leaving squeeze well let's take a quick break and we'll come back to wrap up with cat and nat and chelsea the jonas brothers are running it back we live the burning up tour and celebrate the biggest jonas brother hits that have defined a generation one incredible celebration one unforgettable night see the jonas brothers live at rbc amphitheater september 28th get tickets now at ticketmaster.ca

Jonas Brothers, the Burn It Up Tour, all over again. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, Shut up. Don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me.

I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books,

the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much,

you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle.

I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us.

Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back!

We're back. Well, Katnett, this is the part of the show where I want to know if you'd like any advice from Chelsea. well we have an ongoing argument that maybe the two of you and Chelsea could settle for us we have an argument on whether of you and Chelsea yeah whatever you know what I'm saying okay I think we just we've never really agreed I don't know if we have a misunderstanding and we actually have to show each other what we mean but I take soap and I wash underneath and all over my vagina like I actually take the soap my hand goes in not in like not in the hole of course not the hole in the oven in the like all underneath and she says that you shouldn't put she read that you

don't put soap there because it's self inside not in the hole in the lip yes all in there in the lips I don't think you're I'm pretty rough when I wash my beaver in the shower that's obviously the first spot I'd like to hit but I don't put the soap bar like I guess I probably do with something similar I do know that you're not supposed to do that you're not supposed to put soap inside the lips any of that your vagina is a self-cleaning mechanism it cleans itself yes are you serious yeah so you can rub soap around it but like I don't think it's gonna hurt you I mean it's supposed to affect your ph balance is what I know yeah yeah but I'm not I don't use a bar of soap I use pump soap right is that what you use yeah so you're not okay so I mean I just

don't think it's that big of a deal I think if you actually put it inside you then it's a big deal but mas o menos, as they say in España. If you're not getting any yeast infections, you're probably doing it fine. Yeah, everything's been fine so far. I just like all dark, moist places need to be cleaned. I also have IBS, so that would be different.

You know, IBS down there, you do. I definitely stuck my finger in my butthole to wash it. Really? Yeah, if there's a situation that needs cleansing, yeah. Inside the hole? Yeah, just to make sure like everything's there that is supposed to be there and nothing extra.

great yeah only when I've had an incident oh my gosh if I even go anywhere near that thing it's just gonna be a disaster really with soap I mean don't you want it to be clean your butthole she can't have any butt play whatsoever and her her bowels live on the hole like basically you know I saw a video the other day about anal sex and it says when men go into other men there's three sphincter holes i had learned that there were two sphincter holes so when you have anal sex there's one entryway and then there's a second entryway no and if you're really well endowed there is a third entryway but i think that's only applicable for men because they have a scrotum and we do not so but for us there are two anal entries one and then boom boom depending on how

big the penis is i didn't either so there's shit wait there's there's who comes out of one No, there's like as deep as it goes, then there's like another, it's like being in like a labyrinth. There's one hole, that's the entryway. And then if you have a big enough penis, there's a second anal opening in the same tunnel. I think she has one and that's the problem. Because I feel like it just drops and we're like, we have to run the red. Like there's no time.

It's like where she's shitting her pants or like I have a birth defect and my mom never told me I only have one entryway, one labyrinth. I'm pretty sure. Yeah, well, you should travel with a thermos in case you need to take a Shadoobie in it. A Shadoobie. Okay, well, all right. Well, on that note, you guys,

I just want to thank you guys for being here all the way from Canada. I can't wait to see you guys again in person. I hope that happens sooner than later. Thank you for being on the podcast. You were very entertaining. Thank you so much for having us. It was so nice to meet you, Catherine.

I can't wait to see you guys again. I'm your biggest fan now. Yay. thank you guys really truly it means a lot have a great day bye bye and for those of you haven't seen my special on netflix it's out revolution is out and it's streaming and i am announcing a new tour called the little big bitch tour i am starting again in april i announced a bunch of cities so it's on my Instagram and my website and whatever. But yes, I'm going back on the road in four months. Amazing. Or two months or whatever. I have a whole new show and a whole new thing and I'm

going to go tour again. You're just a busy woman. I am. I am. There's a lot going on. So if you'd like advice from Chelsea, just send us an email at dearchelseepodcast at gmail.com. Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartRadio, executive produced by Nick Stuff, produced by Catherine Law and edited and engineered by Brad Dickert. I survived nine months in captivity and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the Survivor Files. Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of Discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. You know, I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors, and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our hometown is not a test tube.

90 miles northeast of Nashville, a battle for the future of America plays out in one small town. Developers with right-wing ties have purchased hundreds of acres of land. We need cities on a shining hill. This is Our Town, a podcast about what happens when a small town becomes the site of a social experiment and fights back.

Guess you didn't move in on a bunch of dumb hillbillies now, did you? Listen to Our Town on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.