Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Terrible Roommates: featuring Chelsea's Ex-Roommate Colleen Siragusa

Episode Date: February 10, 2022

Chelsea’s former roommate Colleen Siragusa brings hard-won life advice about surviving a roommate as toxic as Chelsea was in her 20s, spills the tea on their rough-and-tumble, hair-pulling fights, and explains what brought about their tearful reunion a few years ago.  Then: A mom-of-two can’t get her own mother to stop dropping by unexpectedly. A surrogate worries she may have to settle for a guy who’s not quite right. And a 25-year-old virgin wonders how and when she should… lose it. *Executive Producer Nick StumpfProduced by Catherine LawEdited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert*****The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors

who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality,

welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the Internet and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by. The cast of Frozen stopped by.

Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it. Well, you probably won.

Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us.

Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. oh hello everybody hi hi Catherine hi how are you Chelsea uh well I'm we're gonna get started right away today with our very special guest because she has a lot to say she has a lot on her mind this has been a very very long time in the making she has had a long time to reflect on our relationship this is a non-traditional guest I'm going to introduce her with the intro that

she gave me, which is she is a wife, a mother of two, and a survivor of living with Chelsea Handler. Her name is Colleen Saragusa, and she was my roommate in Brentwood on Barrington, 605 South Barrington. Whoa, yep. Yep. For, I don't know how many years do we live together? We lived together for three.

Okay, three years we lived together. I was in my early, mid-20s. I was 23, 23 to 26. So you're a little younger than I was. So I must have been, well, maybe I was like 19 to 21. In my book, I wrote that you were a 28-year-old virgin. Was that a lie? Let's just jump right in. Okay, so say hi to Colleen Siragusa. Hi, Colleen. Hi, Colleen.

Hi, hi. Oh, my God. Colleen and I were texting the other day. I said, you know what would be funny? you should come on my podcast and you can tell all the horror stories about what it was like to live with me. And she's like, yeah, I would love nothing more. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm finally ready. I've had 20 years to digest what it was like to be attached to you for three years. And she's just coming out of the fog. And wait, so but back up to the most recent time I ran into you, which was like four or five years ago, four years ago. Okay, four years ago, I was in Brentwood at the top of Brentwood yeah you were at Starbucks and I was walking my little girl she was what two

at the time I was walking and we haven't seen each other we mind you I'll get into the story because I'm sure everyone wants to know the story of Chelsea and how I survived living with her because it wasn't an easy feat I needed tons of therapy after that but anyway uh we hadn't seen each other in 17 years I harbored a lot of bad feelings towards her I'm also known as dumb dumb dumb dumb in my book my horizontal life yes my horizontal life i wrote a book and i talked about someone i named her dumb dumb and that was named after i can laugh about it now i can i can i i was upset for so many years and i actually asked a mutual friend of ours and i went to her in tears and i said am i dumb dumb i need to know

And she said yes. And I was just like, wow, wow. I was so mad. I was so mad. And it's taken a lot of time. And I'm a different person now. And anyway, fast forward to a few years ago, I ran into her at Starbucks and I walked past her and I'm like, oh, there's Chelsea. Do I stop? Do I stop and say anything? And I'm like, no, don't. So I walked past her. And then on the way back, I was like, you know what? I'm going to stop. And I stopped and I said hi. And she stood up And she hugged me. And she had tears in her eyes. Sorry, I'm emotional all the time.

All the time. It's very welcome here. And this was why it was so hard to live together. Because she's always emotional and I have no emotion. I do now. And she made me cry all the time. All the time. I was the butt of every joke.

Yes. So anyway, I she hugged me and she said, Can you sit down for a second? I said, Sure. So we sat down and, and I said, Am I dumb dumb? And she said, Yes, you are. Are you pissed? And I was like, I've been pissed for a really long time. But, um, you know, I'm over it. I'm over it now. And she said, I was a real bitch to you, wasn't I? And I said, Yes, you were. And she said, I'm sorry. and that was the first time I was like wow I think Chelsea has changed I I think Chelsea has gotten a lot of therapy and I really felt that she was sorry for the hell that she put me through for those three years because it was it was man I want to meet Joe Coy I want to shake his hand because the man I can put up with her bullshit deserves a freaking medal let me just say first of all he's adorable he's funny the two of you together are on fire and I I am so happy for you because you have found what is most important in this world yeah and um and it is I mean I'm

married I have a family it's totally changed who I am and made me see what's important in life and yeah we have lots of stories to share yeah when we got together so we waited tables together at A couple of places at Judy's Deli and on Montana, one establishment that I was fired from when we found out he was basically stealing from us. Remember, we were getting paid under the table. And then on top of that, I called and I reported him. So then he had to legally pay us. But he would pay us and make us reimburse him for the payment that he would give us because he thought we were making too much money at a restaurant. The worst part is, is that he ended up thinking we were stealing from him.

So he put cameras up all around the restaurant and he was videotaping us. And I just remember Chelsea one day, just she was so pissed that the cameras were up and she just went flipping the bird to the camera and she just left. That was it. So we ended up moving because I ended up leaving, too. And I found a place in the Palisades, Pacific Palisades. Not a place to live. We lived in Brentwood. But she found a job in the Pacific Palisades.

And then you brought me to that job. Which, by the way, I lived in Brentwood for 25 years in that apartment. My husband had to drag me out because I love that apartment so much. The same apartment that she and I, Colleen and I, lived in when we were in our early 20s. I didn't realize you were 23 to 26. So I must have been, yeah, 20 to 23 because we were super young. Super young, yeah. And I was younger than you.

Okay. So anyway, so then we got a job in the Palisades. We worked at that together. So when we ran into each other four years ago, I was like, what are you doing here? And she's like, I still live in the apartment that we lived in. I go, what? If I hadn't met my husband, I would be there till I die because I loved that apartment so much. I mean, it was like Melrose Place to me.

It was awesome. And she's like, my daughter lives in your room. I'm like, shut the fuck up. She's like, yes, my daughter lives in her room, in your room, and my husband and I still live in that apartment. I could not wrap my head around that. I'm like, I cannot believe you're still there. Oh, my goodness. I know.

It was awesome. I'm glad that you moved out, though, because that was, you know, that is very you to stick with something for 20 years. Well, that's the thing. I do. I get very comfortable. And, I mean, I waited tables at the same place in the Palisades for 15 years. I mean, I loved it. I mean, it was a great job.

I mean, I was a struggling actress, but that's what I did for my living. I waited tables. But it was more than just that. It was, I met so many people there that just made my life so happy. And it was, it was awesome. She, on the other hand, is the worst waitress of all time, of all time. And I got her the job there. And so she started working there, but she would, I mean, her and I would be the only

waitresses there and she would go up to people. This is, I'm going to tell a story, a true story. Someone ordered something. They called her over. They were, they had a problem with it. They didn't like, and she goes too fucking bad. You ordered it, eat it. And walked away.

And I was like, oh, my God. So I'm the one that had to go and, you know, I'm so sorry. And Colleen was, like, the best waitress of all time. Like, she was in a fucking great mood. Every customer wanted to sit in her section. Everyone who would come in would see her. They'd be like, oh, my God, Colleen's here. I'd be like, great.

You fucking take everybody. They all fucking love you. That's not true. I'm like, I'll just run the food out. But I have to tell you, and I was trying to find it because it was so funny. Terry, the owner, actually gave me a letter that was given to her by a customer. And I'm telling you, it was like three pages long about the service that she got from Chelsea. She's like, three Yelp reviews.

It was awful. And Terry was like, look, I know that you sometimes, and I wasn't even in contact with you at this time. But she was like, I think that you probably would like to hold on to this. And it got lost in the shuffle somewhere. I'll find it. But it is unbelievable, the service that you gave, how terrible it is, how you should never be allowed to set foot in this restaurant. And I was like, wow. I mean, you were just bad.

Yeah, I had no interest in waiting tables. It was simply a means to an end until I could support myself in other ways. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, as soon as she got her first development deal, she was like, I'm done. I'm done. I will never wait tables again. As soon as I got my first, the smallest thing, I got a guest star role on the practice.

And I just thought, because I didn't know anything about how much money you'd make, I was like, oh, I'll just retire. This is it. I'm now going to be a successful person. And then I realized, oh, it's like $10,000 for the year. And I'm like, oh, well, wait a second. I'm going to need to supplement this with some other stuff. But in the beginning, you're like, oh, I got a job.

I could quit everything. yeah but anyway so okay so we moved in together and Colleen who I describe in my I was very much fast and loose I was out and about meeting men hooking up left and right and Colleen was putting on her pajamas at eight o'clock well first she puts on her bad bath and body works lotion for an hour and a half she's the one who taught me to lubricate I've never seen anyone lubricate as much as this girl she has never had an ounce of dry skin well but maybe after a baby but not before she would put on Bath & Body Works lotion she would go Plumeria was one of her favorite scents. How did you remember that? Because I remember all the scents

because I still use Bath & Body Works the shower gel because of you I use the pear one because they come out with new flavors all the time right you know so some of them are superior to the previous ones Plumeria I remember yes Yes, and she had these long French manicured nails, and she would sit on the couch, and she loved her shows. She just wanted to come home and snuggle with herself, basically. I mean, she wanted to meet a guy because you had crushes on various people. But I didn't go out.

I was like a hermit. I loved being home. I'm a homebody. You loved the apartment. I loved it. And she loved activities. She liked to get her nails done. She liked to go to work.

She was very bouncy about all the things that she had going on, you know, but all of those things were interests that I never had. You know, I wasn't lubing up at night with lotion. I remember the smells that stayed with me forever, but I would always be like, don't you want to go out? Like, let's go meet people. And she'd be like, she just didn't want to. Right. Yeah. That's just not your personality. I just didn't want to go out. I mean, I didn't want to go. I didn't want to leave the apartment. We go to CPK to get our, I still go to CPK. My daughter's favorite restaurant is CPK. We go every Sunday night to CPK. we do and what do you order do you still order the same thing no no i mean i'm on a strict

well we'll get into that but i mean i'm really strict with my diet so yeah i order a it's a vegetable plate with with shrimp and with grilled vegetables oh yeah that is yeah yeah it's really but yeah cpk is one of my favorites and then tanning you'd go tanning i did i don't do that anymore because you know right yeah well i don't do that anymore but i love the sun so we have a beautiful pool and I would be out there while she was parading in men into the apartment I'd be like hi and she's like there's my roommate you know and I call her a virgin all the time because she was one at a later age than I was one and I just couldn't understand I'm still a virgin how she I couldn't understand how she didn't want to get some penetration I was like Colleen let's go

let's get the show on the road she kept trying to get me to go out and everything but I just you know i just i was very naive i was a very young 23 year old very young and naive and i was the butt of a lot of jokes and it it did wear on me but you know i got through it but yeah chelsea and i i mean we um do you remember when we went shopping for our couches together uh remind me okay so chelsea and i decided that we would go shopping and each get our own couch because we love to watch shows together sure we'd watch friends yeah yeah so we got our own couch and she had no money. I mean, she would, she would ask her sisters for money. She would call and be like, I'm put money in my account. I'm completely broke. And I was like, well, we need sofas. So I got a

credit card. I opened a credit card and every month on the refrigerator, I had how much she owed me and she would pay me, pay me back. But we would fight constantly. We would get into drag out, Pull hair, pinch, I like to pinch, on the floor in our apartment. Rolling around, pulling hair. What kind of stuff were you fighting about? She would divide the bill. She would give me, well, it wasn't just that bill because there was other bills, right? She would divide the bills like if we split anything.

And she would divide it down exactly to a T. So it would be like so-and-so and like 28 cents. And I'd be like, oh, my God, Colleen, can you just round it to a certain number? But anyway, go on with your version of the story. All right, well, we would just fight about anything. About everything. Probably because she was making fun of me and I would get upset and I'd start to cry. Yeah, she was sensitive and I was insensitive.

I was super sensitive. And then when I'd start to cry, oh, you're going to cry like the baby you are. You're going to cry, cry, cry. She would do that to me. And it would really, like, so Chelsea is super handy. I mean, she decided that in her bedroom she needed a desk for, you know, we had those computers with the big monitors and everything. It was when desktops first came out.

Yeah, so she was like, I'm going to Ikea, and I'm going to get myself a desk, and I'm going to put it together. And she did, and she came back with this desk, and she was like, it's going to be done tonight. And, like, a week later, she was still on the floor putting, like, a machine. Fuck this Ikea. I mean, it was funny. It was funny because, yeah, it took forever for her to put that together. Do you remember that? No, I do remember my desk because I remember that was the first email account that I ever got was when we were living there.

It's still my email address. It's my original email address. It's causing me a lot of problems, quite frankly, because AOL is a shit show and the server never works. So I have some other email addresses, but that's my primary email address. But we lived in this kind of like Melrose Place-y type place. So we would hang out a lot. Like we'd go to lunch or we'd go to dinner. We worked together.

So we were basically like, you know, operating as sisters because we were fighting all the time, but also together all the time, right? Like, we would fight and then be like, let's go to the movies. And then, but wait, something I would like to do is I'd like to read those Chicken Soup for the Soul books. And Chelsea would be on her couch and I would be on mine. And I would read her chapters of the book. And we would just, I mean, it was like a really nice bonding time. But I remember, do you remember we had dinner with Terry and a lot of people from the restaurant one night? And I mentioned that I was reading Chicken Soup for the Soul to you one night.

And the one lady said, it's so nice to do that as a couple. Like, she totally thought we were a couple. And Chelsea's face was like, no, no, no. We're not together. I'm trying to sleep with that guy over there. Yeah, yeah. But it was so funny. But yeah, I mean, we would do stuff like that together.

That sounds so wholesome, honestly. It's just. Well, it was wholesome, except I was like, you know, the demon. And she was the wholesome one. I was the demon child, like. Crazy. She was like, and we both, and then she had a crush on a guy that would come to the restaurant and we were all about it.

Like, we just wanted this to happen for her, right? We wanted this to come to fruition because she had, it was years that you had a crush on him. The soap opera star? Yeah. Okay. I hope he never, ever listens to this, but we're not going to mention his name, but he would come in and I had the biggest crush on him.

And I met lots of celebrities. I became friends with lots of celebrities by them coming in, just by seeing them every day. And he would come in and talk to me. And I was like, I would come home every day and tell Chelsea stories about this is what he said today. And it was just like, I mean, it was so exciting. I really, really, yeah, I loved him. I did. I was like, wow.

So anyway, I got the opportunity to go to a function that was a really high-end function. And I was like, I'm going to ask him to go with me. And I did. I knew where he lived. he lived in the palisades so i went to his house and i knocked on his door and um and he answered the door in his briefs uh he was in his yeah oh yeah and he was beautiful he's he is he's beautiful and he got behind the door and i'm like he's like colleen what are you what are you doing here and i'm like oh i just have a question to ask you i'm going to this function

and I would like you to come with me. And he just looked at me and he started laughing. And he said, I can't go with you. I said, why not? And he said, because I have a function that I have to go to tonight. And I said, well, maybe it's the same function. And then you can take me.

And he just was like, I'm sorry, I think you should go. And by this point, I just looked at him and I was like, tears and tears running down my face. And I was like, oh, I'm going, I'm going. and I got in the car and I drove home and I balled the whole way home and when I get home she's just like what is wrong with you because I'm just like a mess and I told her what happened and she's like you're nuts you've got the biggest balls of anyone that I've ever met I can't believe that you actually went to his house and did that and I was like yeah yeah I did but I I've seen him since oh

you did what happened after that what did you see him again after that oh man he was on okay and i wasn't there to see him i knew someone that worked there and i went to see the show tapings a few times there so when i found out he was on i was like oh my gosh so i told the person and they said oh let me tell him and so he was like yeah yeah send her back send her to my trailer so i got to see him and he introduced me to his wife and his lovely children and i mean he's he's an awesome person and you know that was just me hoping that you know but i fucking don't you do you regret doing that no exactly that is what every listener should know i don't regret at all i've done a lot of crazy shit in my life crazy shit that i and you know what it's brought me

to where i am right now and i have no i mean i i don't think you know this but i was in love with this guy for years and years and years i was friends with him for years and years and years and we spent the day together and I hope he's not listening but anyway I loved him and we spent the day together and I never told him how I felt and he was leaving he dropped me off we spent the day and down Barrington Avenue I decided I had that because I feel like my life sometimes is like a romantic comedy and I saw him leaving and I started running down Barrington Avenue calling his name and he stopped in the middle of the road and I went up and I was like I love you I love you it didn't go well it didn't you know no again it didn't go well yeah again I remember that it was

supposed to be a romantic comedy moment I know I've had a lot of those moments where I think it's going to go one way and it it just it doesn't it goes bad so you know but I don't regret it at He goes, now I've met my husband, and he's wonderful. Yeah. Did you have to take any of those sorts of risks with your husband? You have to take risks. Yeah. We met online dating.

Yeah, we met on eHarmony. We're like an eHarmony success story. Yeah, there's a lot of eHarmony success stories. Yeah. So. Well, great. Before we get to all the fun stuff, we'll take a quick break. Okay.

Sounds good. We'll be right back. get bell pure fiber internet with crave netflix and disney plus from 94 a month price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything

every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks

Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages.

On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it.

It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners.

Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can you help me shape this yeah how about we flip it on his head okay how about we flip the script okay what is the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the

show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that it seems like if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are

without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. But yeah, getting back to Chelsea and I, we have to talk about something else. We have to talk about our vacation that we decided to take.

Oh my God, to Ensenada? To Ensenada. Oh, I wrote about this in my horizontal life, and this is where, yes, the cruise ship. We took a three-day cruise from Long Beach to Ensenada for the New Year holiday. Yeah, we were like, let's spend New Year's together. We had no money, so we were, you know. A carnival cruise, everybody.

Was it? Yes, it was a carnival cruise. It was a disaster. I recommend never going to Ensenada. Or going on a carnival. I would like to recommend never going on a Carnival cruise. It doesn't matter who the company is. I had visions of us walking on board and seeing, like, Captain Stubing and, you know, the dock from the Love Boat.

Like, I thought the whole—that's what cruises were based on my television experience. Yeah, I have a picture of Chelsea on the cruise, so let me just get that. Oh, my goodness. Let me just get this real quick because this would summarize—right here. This would summarize Chelsea. do I just where do I show it this would summarize you on our this is me giving the finger to her bundled up in blankets oh that was pretty much where we you're gonna have to send that to me so we can use it for the podcast that's how cold we were because we thought oh we were gonna go to

Mexico it's gonna be beautiful oh my god and all right in this picture we are oh and I'm gonna tell the story. Send me these for the podcast. This right here is us wearing our bracelets so we don't get sick. You know, the motion sickness bracelets, which you know, they don't work. But anyway, so there's me and Chelsea. There I am as a brunette. Oh my

goodness. You guys are so cute. You're babies. But this cruise, we were freezing the entire time. We get on there and there were these, first of all, do you remember running through the decks? Like we were like running, like we were in the Titanic or something, like running away from people that

were chasing us do you remember what okay when we first got on there i i think there was a guy is that and you were like run run and so we're running to try and find our room you don't remember that were you still always no i don't remember that part when we get on we get first of all the room is the size of like a bathroom yeah i thought it was going to be like a romantic love suite you know where we have some big master and she and i would just switch off when we hooked up with guys meanwhile we we check in and it's literally the size it's like a 12 foot by 12 foot room cubbyhole you had to climb over one of the single beds to get to the fucking bathroom like the bathroom wasn't easy like accessible for anyone no to take a shower you couldn't take a

shower i mean you were like this washing because you couldn't move your arms it was awful and then we had a porthole this is a really fun story so if you've ever been on a cruise you know that dinnertime you sit with the same people every single night and we're all excited to go to dinner. Let's eat. It's all you can eat buffet. We get there, we sit down. So who we sit down with is a family of Mormons and they were lovely. They were, you know, it was a really nice family, but this one over here, she just offended them left and right, left and right. I mean, it was so bad. It was, it was, I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed because every other word is F this. They're just like, I mean, it was like a husband and wife and they're

like five kids or something and it was so so bad so we finished dinner and the next night I'm getting ready for dinner and I'm like are you ready to go and she's like yeah she's like yeah I'm not I'm not going have fun and I'm like what you you have to come to dinner she's like no you fucking go have a good time and she didn't leave the cabin the rest of the two days once I got a full understanding of the company we were keeping I was like I'll just be inside the cabin. So I was so upset. I had to go and have dinner with the family who, you know, by association, I was the devil. So I had to sit at this table with them and they hated me. And it was just awful. Oh, it was, I can't believe she made me go by myself. And she just, she thought

it was funny. I was like, I just can't commingle with those people again. And then when we got to Ensenada, I was like, Hey, cause there was like, Oh, they're going to be gambling on the ship. I was like, OK, great. That's something that'll keep me busy for at least an hour. But you couldn't gamble until you cross the Mexican border. So I was like, you had to wait like 12 hours to start the gambling. And I was like, wait, what? And then on the way back, same thing. As soon as you got into, I don't even remember gambling. American Waters. Yeah, we gambled together.

We did? Did we win? No, I mean, we had no money. It was like $20. And, you know, I think I blew that and lost it right away. But I was like trying to convince Colleen. I was like, listen, when we get to Ensenada, we have to jump ship and we have to get a car to take us back to L.A. And she's like, Chelsea, we could get assaulted. I'm like, at least we'd have a good New Year's. Like, who cares what happens on the way back home?

But I'm not taking this fucking boat back. And I was just trying to convince her. Do you remember that? I don't remember that. Trying to convince her to get off the boat. And I would never. I follow the rules. I follow the rules.

All the time, I follow the rules. She's like, what do you mean? Well, pay someone. And I'm like, we'll find somebody to get us back to L.A. and we will pay them. And she's like, with what money? I'm like, who cares? We'll figure that out later. Yeah, no, that was just, it was a nightmare.

Oh, my goodness. So you're saying Colleen kept you alive by not letting you, like, find a random driver. You're welcome. Possibly, yes. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, she had a good hand in keeping me alive. At least I wasn't such a bitch that I just left her on the boat because that would have been a step above. Oh, yeah.

That would have been a class. But I think we were just so mad. I honestly don't think we talked the whole way home. I think that we were like pissed. I was just like, ugh. I mean, we would get so aggravated with each other. We were. We were like sisters.

And it was like we wouldn't talk to each other. We'd be like, fuck you. And then 10 minutes later, she'd be like, you want to go to CPK? And I'd be like, okay. Let's do it. Let's do it. That's funny. That boat was also so depressing because it was cold.

I don't know. I had this idea that once you got to Mexico, everything was warm. It was freezing. You're like, but you have to get there first. And it was freezing. So, like, there was no bathing suit action. There was no Lido deck activities. Nobody was outside.

There was a pool, and it was completely covered. Like, it was closed off. We're like, what? Oh, jeez. What is this a do? We thought we were going to be hanging out in our bathing suits. Right, right. It's like nothing we did tracked.

It's like we almost had no idea what happens on cruises. Like, we thought it was going to be. Well, I think we just took a bad one. I think there are really good cruises. Yeah, but I'm sure there are. But in general, I would like to stay away from them. I know. You know, it's just not, that's not my scene.

It's funny what you remember from that trip and what I remember from that trip. Like different memories that the other person doesn't remember at all. It makes you wonder, like, am I making all this shit up? You know, like when I talk to my sisters, they're always like, you're so full of shit. Your memories, they're not real. I'm like, and then somebody will corroborate it, you know, in my family. They'll be like, actually, that wasn't that was true. And my sisters will be like, oh, great.

Don't give her any more, you know, gas because she already thinks she fucking remembers everything. And I know I don't. Joe's always like, you have a six month memory. He's like, and even then it's pretty shifty. Oh, well, he's adorable. I want to meet him. I know. I want to tell him to come and say hi if he's in the neighborhood.

I also want to know, do you remember your car, your first car that you bought at 605? No. Which one was that? She had a black Echo, a Toyota Echo. Oh, and she was so proud of herself. And she would go, look at me. I'm so cute. Oh, my gosh.

She loved that car. Oh, that car was buzzing around because that was the first brand new car that I'd ever driven because my father was a used car dealer. So every car I'd ever had up until that point was used. And I remember when I got rid of the Toyota Echo, I went to go turn it in and I got it in this place in the marina. It says I got a whale of a deal. It said on the license plate.

And I remember that. And then when I turned that car in and I got my next car, I remember they were opening up my glove compartment and they found an Egg McMuffin glove compartment from like two years before. And they were so hard. I was like, oh, my God, this is exactly what my parents, like this is exactly how I had turned into my parents. Because they would drive around their disgusting cars with fucking McDonald's, old McDonald's coffees and Egg McMuffins in every compartment you could find. And then it happened to me. I was like, oh, this is a full circle moment. Yep.

Yep. That was her. She was so proud of that car. Yeah. Yeah. And then I gave it to, no, I didn't give it to someone. Oh, I got Chewy. When Chewy and I got together, he, I was like, this is, this is the car you need.

This Toyota Echo. No, I got him a different one, but he had his own little Toyota Echo, a red one, because that was a perfect size car for him. That Toyota Echo was amazing because you didn't even have to put it in reverse. You could just pick it up and turn it around. That was my joke in standup. When I had that car, I would talk about it all the time. That's hilarious.

Yeah, what kind of car did you drive? You had a... Okay, well, I came here, I think it was my Camaro. Was it my red Camaro? Yes, yes, yes. Okay, so my Camaro... I wanted to say it was a New Jersey. By the way, we're both from Jersey.

And I had my car, my 1971 or something Camaro. My dad shipped it out. And yeah, it was the greatest. I loved my Camaro. But yeah, it blew up on me. My dad, whenever he came to visit, he would do the oil changes. He, like, would, you know, do my car in the parking lot of the apartment. That's another thing.

She's always been super close with her family, right? Super close. We actually have some questions that are exactly about that. So I'm interested to hear. Oh, great. Oh, yeah. We have to take callers, by the way. People have to call in and get advice.

Because I'm the one to give advice. Well, who am I to give advice? This is perfect. I mean, they just need it from anybody. It doesn't really matter who. All right. But, yeah. Well, that's something.

I would talk to my parents every single day. So I would tell them everything that happened throughout the day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that would drive me insane. And it would drive her nuts. I'd be like, what are you doing? Like, she'd be on the phone with her dad, and she'd be like, and then whoever the crush was, let's say his name was Luke,

she'll be like, and then Luke came in, and then Luke said this to me, and I'm like, that's your father? And then she'd be on the phone. It was so funny, and I would be so annoyed. I'd be like, you need to get some friends. Like, you cannot be on the phone telling your parents all this. And she's like, I love my family. I tell them everything.

I tell my mother everything, and I tell my father everything. And that was not the relationship I had with my parents. You know, I wasn't telling them anything. I'm still really close. I mean, they're here visiting me for two months. And now Colleen has her own child and she has, well, she has two children because she's a stepmother and you actually gave birth too. I did.

How was that? Not fun. It's terrible. It was. I mean, people say it's the most beautiful. It's not. It's beautiful when you're holding your baby at the end. Yeah.

But I ended up having an emergency C-section. Oh, wow. It was traumatic and really scary, and an epidural is a lifesaver, and anyone who doesn't do it, I don't know what the fuck's wrong with you, because it is like, I mean, it really helps you a lot. Yeah. A lot. I would like to get an epidural just because, yeah, it sounds good.

Yeah, so yeah, so yeah, I gave birth, and yeah, and then I gained tons of weight. I, you know, ballooned like, I don't even know, I've lost 45 pounds in six months. Wow. Wow. And what diet? What are you doing? Okay. So, well, first of all, let me just say that I went to my doctor and my doctor said, you have high cholesterol. I was on medication for everything. High cholesterol, high blood pressure, and the beginnings of a fatty liver. And I was like, okay, I have to do something. I have to take control of my body here. So I started on this diet where I eat super clean.

I eat veggies. I eat protein. I cut out carbs. There's no bread. There's no pasta. There's no alcohol whatsoever so you probably couldn't do this diet but yeah I just eat really clean and I exercise five times a week I run and I do intervals like I walk and then I run and I on an incline so I think it's really important to get your heart rate up and then I walk like every point tenth of a mile I stop like I'll either walk or run and I do that for four miles so it keeps my heart rate at an even keel and yeah I just started losing weight and I started making really small goals for myself and every month i'd lose 10 pounds so not any specific diet just common sense like well common sense but i also do these meals i don't know if you've heard of it

it's called factor and my husband and i he's lost like 30 pounds too we do these factor meals so we get them delivered and we eat them for dinner and they are delicious they are it's like a gourmet meal i hate to cook anyway so i'm like i put it in the microwave for two and a half minutes i put it on a plate it looks like a gourmet meal there you go done it's portion control it's delicious I got my parents on it while they're here we're doing the factor meals so I tell everybody because I've been getting like people commenting and on Instagram and stuff and I send them the factor thing I'm like it's worked so it's a combination of everything I do the factor meals and I work out and I'm just really you know diligent about what I put in my body and and you had said when we were

on the phone like yeah you know getting to know what your interests were and stuff about you you had said that like you are finding that you're actually able to carve out time for yourself because you're like this is my time i go to the gym and so it seems like you're feeling really great and well as a as a mom and all moms know you have no free time you have none i mean for the past five years i don't do anything else for myself it is for her all the time and you start to get really depressed we moved to orange county from la last year and there's a dairy queen across the street which is not not ideal danger because I'm like just go to Dairy Queen and you know and I wanted to try all the restaurants and stuff and I put on the pounds but yeah I don't have any time

for myself and then she started school which is the best thing in the world school is awesome so she started school so she goes for four hours a day and those four hours are my time and I go right to the gym I drop her off and I go right to the gym so it's not even like a question of what I'm going to do today it's off to the gym and I feel the best that I have ever felt and I have time for myself and the most important thing is no more fatty liver no more cholesterol no more high blood pressure everything's under control and I feel great so I love that yeah that's such a motivator for so many people who are feeling like that yeah once you have kids I don't even understand how people can function I don't even get it it must be so it's talk about all consuming

It's it's the hardest thing that I've ever had to do. I love this child so much, but it is the hardest. OK, I've OCD. My husband's a perfectionist. She doesn't have much of a chance here. She's a she's going to be a disaster. She's already got OCD issues where all of her toys have to be perfectly stacked up. And but she's the sweetest thing ever. But yeah, the tantrums and everything. It's it's not fun. How do you handle tantrums? I just lock myself in my bedroom and no, no, no, no, no. I'm getting better at it. Usually I'm like, what's wrong? And now I have to calm myself down and try to see it from her perspective because kids, they're upset for some reason. You have to try and understand where they're coming from instead of just getting upset. So my husband, he's really good at handling that.

He's helping me see that. I've gotten a lot calmer. over the years. Yeah. I've let things go. I'm very wound up and tight and very structured

and so I have, as a mom, let go because you have to let go because... Right. It's too bad you didn't have that skill set

when you were living with me because that was your first experience with a toddler. It was. It was. Okay, so we're going to take callers.

Yes. People are going to call in or write in. Catherine, do you want to get the ball rolling or should we take a quick break first?

Let's take a quick break first and then we'll come back with callers. Okay. Yay. get bell pure fiber internet with crave netflix and disney plus from 94 a month price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped

and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm gonna have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan

horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts see you between the pages On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first.

I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. hey this is Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements we host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the

Big Money Players Network our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners each week we talk to someone in show business aka the biz and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman not that great actually can Can you help me shape this? How about we flip it on its head? How about we flip the script? What if the surprise woman, who actually you think is the straight man, is actually the one who's acting weird?

Adam Scott. This entire time, you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show. I would never set expectations for something like that to happen. like if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this david everyone's so dumb

except for you fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode but he's just so busy listen to hollywood handbook on the i heart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts Okay, well, let's see how we do this as a couple, as the odd couple. Okay. All right, well, our first caller today is Emma.

She says, help, I'm a 25-year-old virgin. Dear Chelsea, I'm just going to cut right to it. I'm a 25-year-old virgin, and I hate it. I shouldn't really use the word hate because I don't hate the fact that I still am, but I'm embarrassed, and I can't help it. It's not that I want to wait or that I'm waiting for the right person and all that shit. I just haven't had the moment of, okay, right now is fine, but would stop something from going further. Every man I've had somewhat of a relationship with has been respectful and kind

about it, but I hate bringing it up and I hate that I feel like I have to bring it up. I also hate looking around me and seeing all of my friends talking comfortably about their sex lives when mine is non-existent. So I'm seeking any advice that you can possibly give me because I can't help but feel alone in this sincerely emma hi emma hi emma hi how are you hi emma this is my roommate from many many moons ago in la her name's colleen hi nice and she's our guest today so nice to meet you too yeah hi hi it's so nice to meet you guys well it's so nice and refreshing to meet a virgin i don't meet a lot of virgins i don't either yeah i do know other virgins your age Not within like my circle. No. Well, that's too bad. I am the only one. Yeah. Well, that makes it even more. That makes it stand out more. Colleen, why don't you talk about your experience? Because one of us had sex at a very young age and one of us was a little bit more responsible. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Responsible.

Well, Emma, first of all, there's nothing to be embarrassed about at all. I lost my virginity at 29. In my head, like I was telling Chelsea, I feel like my life should be like a romantic comedy. And that's what I was waiting for the perfect love. And we were gonna ride off into the sunset together. And I felt the same way as you I was embarrassed. I was like, I'm just gonna have sex with with anybody because this is so you know, you just are like, Why am I not meeting someone? what's going on I actually wish I would have waited longer because the person that I did have sex with it was a mistake and it was a mistake and it was a horrible experience it was awful and oh god it was terrible it wasn't a good experience I would have waited so right my advice to you is don't be embarrassed don't settle you're gonna meet someone who loves that you are a virgin. You're going to meet someone who appreciates you and who adores you and don't ever apologize for it. Just be who you are. That's the most important thing. And if you're not feeling it, don't do it. Yeah. You should embrace the uniqueness that is you and your virginity and

all the other unique things about you and focus on those things. That's something that's coolly uncommon. You know what I mean? It's, it's uncommonly cool. I should say. Anyway, anyway, you phrase it and covers it like that's cool. You have something that not a lot of people have going on right now. Yeah, that's true. It's definitely like uncommon. Like when I tell men, when I'm in a relationship and it's starting to get a little risque, you should say I've never had, like I said, I've never had a bad experience telling them. They're always very nice and they're surprised for sure. But it is uncomfortable kind of to bring up because I can't help but have that little guy in the back of my head being like,

this is so embarrassing. No, I know. I know. I feel you. I was in the same boat. I actually didn't even tell the guy that I had sex with that I was really I didn't even tell him. I was just like, yeah. Oh, was it because you were so eager to have sex or was it you were so into the guy? No, I honestly think I was 29. I hadn't really met anyone that I really, really, really liked. And we were dating. So it was going there. But I didn't want to tell him because I was embarrassed. I was the same way as you feel. I was embarrassed. I was just like, oh, he's going to run away if he finds out I'm 29 years old. this is and so I I didn't say anything and um after the fact I told him and he was just like what but I regret that whole situation because I would have just waited to find someone that appreciated me and um so my advice to you would be to just hang in there you are going to meet someone you're going to meet someone that adores you and is going to be like wow you waited for me

and that's gonna be so special yeah that is special yeah i think i've read too many books in my lifetime so i have this whole preconception of like it's a magical moment like i just read i'm in graduate school and i just read forever by judy bloom and it's literally about a teenage girl having sex for the first time and i was like this is too fitting this is maybe a little past two but also like too fitting i love judy bloom i read all of judy bloom's books who did those are the best fucking things around so emma what are you waiting for are you waiting to be in love and be in a relationship like a really serious relationship is that what you're waiting for i think kind of yes and no i don't i'm not like into hookup culture i i live in boston i'm 25

so like dating out here is hard enough as it is especially in boston um yeah but i've definitely like gotten away from that whole, I'm going to wait for the one. And I'm going to wait for someone that I really like, you know, if I'm currently dating someone and it's going well for a couple of months or weeks or whatever, like, and I have a moment where I'm like, I feel comfortable enough right now and they know, so let's give it a shot. That's kind of my mindset right now. And it took me a while to get in that mindset because the embarrassment just like never went away. Yeah. And I think it is something that's lovely. Of course, it's not like what it looks like in movies or, you know, sounds like in books. But my advice would be

lose it with the person that you can kind of laugh about things with. Yes. Like you're laughing in the middle of it. You're cracking jokes. And like sometimes it's really romantic and sometimes it's not. Sometimes you're just like fooling around. So, I mean, it might be helpful to be with somebody who like you can kind of joke around laugh about it and also like you don't necessarily have to say it's your first time I think that's fine yeah yeah that's so true I've definitely been in relationships and and with men that I do feel comfortable enough like not only telling them but being like yeah let's try but as it continues it's like okay no I was wrong like I'm not ready for please back up. Yeah. I also, I would say, I don't know, Catherine, I disagree with that.

Maybe Colleen, you can speak to this, but I think like, if you're going to, if you've waited this long, right. Which isn't like a ridiculous amount of time. It's a, it's a logical amount of time. Like you've waited this long and you're not going to jump to like, why not have that experience be on the table with the person that you're going to have it with so that they can be even more careful and like caring and you know about the situation because if you have been you know saving yourself for the right person you know it doesn't have to mean it's your husband but the right person someone who cares for you deeply right that's all you really need is somebody who really cares about you right why not have that experience together so that they know going in

you know that it is your first time because it can be a more delicate situation yeah that's true that's true I completely I do agree with that I think that you know he should know and you should feel totally comfortable with him and it gives him the opportunity to make you feel even more comfortable and even safer right and if it goes the other way then it's not meant to be with no exactly so and I think me as a person I would feel so guilty if like I didn't tell them and then it would just be like in the back of my head and then be like I'm such a fucking horrible person well then you have your answer about whether you should tell them that's true yeah so that's why I've always that's why I've like always told people because I have a feeling I would just

feel like so guilty and I know I'm not like obligated to tell like my partner but at the same time it's like I wish I could just like not and not have those feelings of like anxiety and guilt over it and just let it happen yeah I think it's special like it's special embrace the fact that it's special. Nothing embarrassing. Right. Yeah. Embarrassing is losing your virginity when you're, you know, a teenager to someone that you don't even know whose name you don't remember. That's the point of that. No, mine was Mitch. I remember who I lost my virginity to, but he knew I was a virgin and he was very careful with me. Yeah. Yeah. I have a friend who she's actually in her thirties and just lost her virginity. But when you say like,

all my friends are talking really easily about this. I remember there was a time when a bunch of us friends were talking and one of the gals was like how did everybody lose their virginity and when it got to her it was like well it almost happened this one time and then it didn't and you know and she handled it well but at the same time like she's now at a place in her life where like she's having the first great love of her life and it's just like all this anxiety she had around it all of these worries they're gone in like the blink of an eye and she's having so much fun And it's just, you know, when it happens, it happens. Yeah.

I also feel like the pandemic didn't really help me at all. I moved to Boston in fall of 2019, so I only had a window of like a couple of months to go out there and date and like meet new people. And then it was like, oh, just kidding. You're stuck inside. You're alone. Well, just hang in there. You'll meet somebody who is perfect for you and will make you feel special. And it won't matter that you're a virgin.

Yeah. very true thank you thanks for calling emma you're adorable oh thank you so much you're an adorable virgin thank you so much i i that's a great compliment i'm gonna add that to my like linkedin profile oh yeah yeah totally all right thanks emma let us know how it goes i will keep you posted okay sounds good nice to meet you bye nice to meet you too Emma bye thank you she reminds me of me when I mean totally like what a better question to have a caller call in with she's good good producing Catherine oh well thank you I mean this next one is pretty on the nose for you as well Colleen

so our next caller is Ashley she is 31 and a stay-at-home mom she says dear Chelsea my mom and I have always been very close. However, I love my independence and personal space, and she's about as codependent as they come. We talk every day on the phone, text back and forth numerous times a day, and she shows up at my house unannounced all the time. She has no boundaries and relies on my kids and I for her fulfillment in life. Sadly, my brother and only sibling passed away four years ago, which puts an even bigger burden and responsibility on me to be there for her emotionally since her partner is not at all. I know how much the daily calls and texts mean to her, but I can't help but feel super annoyed when I have to check in with her and tell her every

detail of my life. So my question is, am I being a bitch for wanting and needing my own space when I know how much she needs me? Any help on how to navigate this relationship would be so helpful. I want to be there for her, but being married with three kids is a very busy life and I can't help but feel that she just adds to the stress. With love, Ashley. Oh, hi, Ashley. Hi, Ashley. Hi. Hi. Hi. This is my friend Colleen. She's our guest today. Hi, Colleen. Hey, Chelsea. Hey. So tell us what's going on. So your mom is around a lot. Yeah, she is. We live only a few miles away from each other. And like I said in the letter, my brother passed away and I don't have any other siblings. So I try to be patient with her and let her over whenever she wants to

come and always stay in touch. But sometimes it's just annoying being there for her all the time. Yeah, that's a tough one. Because I can understand. Yeah. But I mean, she I mean, how can you create boundaries now, I guess is the question, right? When there haven't been any before? How long have you guys lived this close to each other? Oh, we've always lived really, we've always been super tight. Growing up, she was a single mom. My parents got divorced when I was a baby. So we were always, her, my brother and I were always really super tight knit.

And she was always like the cool, fun mom. I mean, as you know, when you lose someone in your family, it's like to just see your parents crumble in a sense. It was different for you, I know, because you were a child at the time. but it really does just change a person. And she is very sensitive. And I try to not hurt her feelings and be there for her. But sometimes it's just like, I have a lot of my own shit going on. And it takes a lot out of me to take on her stress and depression, you know? Yeah, yeah. This is such a tricky area, because your mom sounds like she's, you know, she's

grieving too you know she lost her son even though it's four years ago you know that doesn't ever go away for a parent yeah and you're her only family and your children are her only family so it's like you want to be sensitive and empathetic to to the fact that she that you're the only ties she has yeah and that's why it's like my door is always open for her and she does totally take advantage of that. But like, I just, I like my own personal space. And I told Catherine before, like, I moved out when I was 18. Haven't been back since. We don't have the type of relationship where I've ever like relied on her for anything, or depended on her to provide anything for me and my family. I've always just been a very independent person. And I let her in

as much as I can knowing how much it means to her but it really does just sometimes just suck the life out of me knowing how much it takes to be there for her well is there any other sort of configuration you can work out with her like is there an allotted time you can give her with each of the kids alone or maybe all of them together so it's less on you and more on like you know like what about dropping one of your children off to her for like two hours a week and they each get their one-on-one time with grandma. So that doesn't necessarily involve you or her being at your house. Like if you frame it to her, like, mom, this is for the kids. They get really jealous when you spend, you know, you can make up whatever you want when you're with them all together. They

all want one-on-one time. You know, I think this might be a great idea for both of you. You guys, you get each kid for two hours a week at your house and you do your thing with them alone, or she could take them all out without you, you know? Like, do you trust her to do that? Or is she, like, able-bodied and everything? Yeah. Oh, yeah. She is an absolutely phenomenal grandma. She's very super close with my kids.

Like, they do probably go over her house a couple times a week, which is great. But it's more so the thing that, like, gets under my skin is, like, when she pops over all the time unannounced. she never feels like she needs to call and say like, Hey, I'm around the neighborhood. You mind if I pop over? Is now a good time? It's just this sense of like, she's entitled to come over whenever she wants. Or like, if she comes over and I'm not there, she'll call me and be like, Hey, where are you at? It's like, I don't owe you an explanation of where I'm at.

Those are more so the things that really get under my skin. It's instead of like, not being there for her. I'm always there to talk and all that. But it's just like the sense of me owing her all these explanations about my personal life when I just, it's like, I'm an adult. I'm 31 years old. I shouldn't be needed to check in with you every single day. It's almost like when she calls, how I told you earlier, when she says, just doing my daily check-in, it's like, that's not necessary. And whenever she's like, hey, what are you doing? It's always the same thing. Nothing new, nothing new, because I just talked to you yesterday. It's like, if we went more than a few days without talking to each other then I would have more to fill her in on and vice versa but

it's like she already knows every aspect of my life that it's like I just have to go with it just because I know that's maybe what she needs now in the moment it's just to talk to someone they try not to let it annoy me yeah I agree with Chelsea that there is a conversation that has to happen and putting some parameters like whatever that signal is in place might be might be really helpful. So maybe it's like, hey, mom, like the kids are back in school now, schedules have changed, and we really need to kind of know what to expect each day. So you know what, if the light is on on the front porch, like feel free to come on in. If it's not, we might just need some family time or have a busy school work night that night or, you know, whatever stage your kids are in,

put it on something else. Things are changing because of X, Y, Z, the world's kind of getting back to normal. And so we need to have like a little bit of family time that's just our nuclear family. Not nuclear. Not nuclear. I'm usually so good about that. Yes. My parents actually, they have a place in Phoenix where they live half the year. And then they just sold my childhood home this last year. And so they've spent a few weeks living in what we call the suite at my sister's house. They've got their own, you know, bedroom with a bathroom and all that nice stuff. But when they are fun with the kids popping in, I have teenage niece and nephew on that side they'll leave the door open and when the door is open the kids can come in talk about

their day but when they close the door the kids know like grandma and grandpa are not ready to chat or they're having coffee together or they're doing whatever and so it's sort of their signal but yeah maybe there's some sort of a signal you guys and maybe it's also like we're gonna do this and have the light on sometimes and have the light off sometimes but we're also gonna do game night every Sunday so it's that sort of like creating a compromise before you even need to yeah yeah for sure I like that how old are your children 10 6 and 1 oh okay well then you could totally pin it on them anyway you know right right right she is such a help when she takes them yeah right so I mean take advantage of the fact that she wants to take them and

maybe lean in on that because that's a moment for you to be you'll get some alone time yeah Maybe lean into that. And she's not, you know, setting a boundary sounds like, oh, it's going to be a conversation. It's going to hurt feelings. And it always does. But eventually, after the initial wear and tear of a conversation like that, it invokes respect in the relationship and both sides, you know, because people start to understand, oh, it's not just a free for all. I can't just show up because, you know, if my best friend said to me, you can't stop. I need you to call before you start coming over. I'd be like, wait, what? I thought we had an understanding like I would my feelings would be hurt Oh, sorry, my feelings would be hurt. My back is all fucked up. So I can't sit still i'm just like My I don't want you to think i'm masturbating during this call I know it's a sexy subject But feelings are hurt but like people do respect boundaries So you just want to draw them lightly put it out there in a certain way

Like I I want you to be around the family. I love you to pieces I'm noticing i'm needing a little bit more alone time And so the nicest way you can say that and figure out the ways to get that alone time while maybe sometimes you're also providing her with time with the children, you know, sounds like a good compromise. And then, you know, what Catherine said, I mean, Colleen, you haven't chipped in yet or chimed in yet. Do you have anything you want to add to this? I agree a lot with what Catherine said. I think that you need to carve out time. I like the idea of actually having the conversation with your mom. And just maybe you even say, you know, this day in this day, we're busy with this. How about you come over, like she said, on Sunday for family game night, or you just make it certain days. I mean, I'm I'm super close with my family. And I talk to them every single day. And there are Yeah, there are days I have nothing to say. And it's just and I tell them, I got nothing for you today. But you know what, it's about hearing their voice and and connecting with them because they need it as much as you do and you're so lucky to have your mom be here and one day she won't be and so for me I'm getting emotional and I'm sorry but um it's okay my she's been crying the whole episode so don't worry about it my parents are here for two months visiting me and it's such a blessing and I try to see them

every single day for some time and they know they have boundaries and they're like you guys have your family time we'll see you tomorrow we're gonna we're gonna do our own thing today and I really appreciate that because it does it takes the pressure off of me they know you know so if your mom's not really getting the hint you know have a conversation with her just tell her how much you love her and you love seeing her but you need some time I mean I'm a mom too and it's hard And you need some alone time. Yeah. I mean, even if it's just you and your kids, you need just you and your kids sometimes just to, so I get it. So just be gentle with her. She sounds like a lovely woman. She is. And I do love her so much. I felt so guilty even writing the submission. I felt like

I was like going behind her back and betraying or even just talking about her like this because she is an amazing woman. And we always have been so tight and like, I know she's not here forever. and she loves to remind me of that too she'll say you'll miss me one day I'm like I know I know but it's like you said I I think it's a good idea to just come at her in like a loving way and a calm way instead of kind of uh you're annoying me give me my next way exactly because if you don't address it it might come out that way you know it's good totally it has in the past where I have tried to address it and I have kind of like snapped a little bit and she will, like, it does hurt her feelings. And I can think of just real quick, one time in particular,

off the top of my head, I had just had a baby and my son was like five days old and she just kept showing up. And I'm like, mom, you've been here six times in the last five days. Like I'm trying to figure out how to breastfeed. Our sleep schedules are completely all over the place. Like, please just call before you come. And she just started crying. It's like, okay, okay, laugh. Oh, God, that conversation didn't go the way I hoped. Like I just made her cry. She left. Yeah, that sucks. And another way to also go at it is to just blame yourself. I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed lately. I'm feeling irritable lately. I'm feeling like I need some more space. So if you can help me through this time, by giving me a little bit of extra space and a little bit of

a more alone time i'd be so appreciative you know if you come at it like it's your issue that is a really good point that's really good angled off come come at the conversation i like that because it is me yeah yeah it is i mean listen everyone annoys the fucking shit out of me so you don't have to tell me twice about your mother coming over too often i don't have i get it i get it but yeah thank you i thought you would that's why i wrote it and i'm like you you get it from all angles. You've experienced loss. And you also seem like the type of person that does like your own personal space. So I really appreciate your advice. Well, good luck, Ashley. Let us know how it goes.

Thanks. I will. And I absolutely love your book. Life Will Be the Death of Me. It's helped me out so much. Thank you so much for everything you put out into the world. It really does help. Oh, thanks, Ashley. I appreciate that. You're welcome. You're welcome. Thank you. Take care. You too. Bye. Bye.

All of our callers are always so cool. So nice. Yeah, they're cool. They're cute. I love it. So nice. Normal. They're not fucking weirdos.

You know what I mean? Well, a couple times, but usually those are men. Yeah. We try to avoid those. We are going to take a quick break so you can hear an ad and then we'll be right back. get bell pure fiber internet with crave netflix and disney plus from 94 a month price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped

and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse.

Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility.

Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport.

And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can can

you help me shape this yeah how about we flip it on his head right how about we flip this around okay what is the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something like that if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know

what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this state everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode but he's just so busy listen to hollywood handbook on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts so our next question comes from caitlin caitlin says dear chelsea my eight-year-old daughter determined that the way for her to do whatever the fuck she wants is to respond with i forgot you told me not to do that or i didn't hear you say that engaging with

her and entertaining her lame excuses is out of the question because I know it's all bullshit and I won't pretend otherwise. I want to wrap up these shenanigans without opening the conversation up for an argument. How would you handle the nieces and nephews that you've been saddled with if they tried to pull this shit? A five milligram gummy with a margarita definitely helps, but I appreciate any additional advice you can provide. Cheers, Caitlin. I think anytime she says anything like that. I didn't hear you. I don't remember you telling me that. Then something, there's a punishment that goes along with that because she wasn't paying attention or she's conveniently forgetting. So there has to be a repercussion for any time she says that, right? Like whether it's

screen time, it's eight years old. So I don't know if she's got a phone yet or what, but yeah, nip that in the bud right now. How old is your stepdaughter? She's 11. And have you ever had to deal with this kind of thing? Yeah, yeah. It is hard. It is hard because, yeah, she'll say things and I know that she's not telling the truth or it drives you nuts because you're like, no, you're I know you're not telling the truth. I know. I know. You know, but there has to be repercussions for everything. There has to be. I mean, there was one time she was forgetting her jacket at school she'd forget a lot of things but this is just an example but forgetting her jacket at school every day every day and we'd lose jackets they'd be gone and I'm like we can't

keep buying you jackets and it it was just like okay well you know what the next time you forget it you're gonna give me your phone for the day and doesn't forget her jacket anymore that was easy you know I mean there has to be repercussions for things yeah so it's either if she has a phone That needs to be taken away with her. Anytime she forgets something or she doesn't hear something, then you can take away her phone. If she doesn't have a phone, make it screen time. I'm sure she's on sunscreen. Whatever she loves the most, whatever you take away, it's got to be a little bit hurtful.

It's got to hurt a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Take it away. Take a couple hours away at night or take it away altogether. I mean, I'm all about that. But, you know, parents are so scared of their children not on screen time anymore. Oh, I know.

I mean, people are like, I can't take it away completely. What will they do? So I'm like, well, I don't know what the fuck we did, which was not be on our screens. But yeah, you have to instill like, I mean, she's doing that because she can get away with it. So stop letting her get away with it. Yeah. Problem solved. Yeah.

Okay. And our last email comes from Darla. Dear Chelsea, I'm a 43-year-old single mother of two. I recently had a third child as a surrogate. Well before that, I was married in a loveless, sexless marriage of 10 years. and in between the marriage and the surrogacy, I was in a five-year relationship with a struggling musician. Before I met the musician, I had never really enjoyed sex. When we came together, I was in my late 30s and had the first of many, many, many orgasms with that guy.

I really feel like he saved me and I feel like he was my true first love. As much as he says he wanted me and the kids to be his family, he never really blended well when we were all four together. I've always struggled with low self-esteem, but I feel like I've overcome that to a large degree simply by getting older. But now, after having had three vaginal births and tearing pretty much the whole caslapus in this last delivery and completely wrecking my breasts with nursing and pumping, think rocks and socks, do I go back to the guy who I know isn't right but loves me and accepts my body? We have unreal sexual chemistry. Or do I roll the dice and maybe go online for dating i've never done that by the way i definitely want a partner not casual random

sex thanks darla i thought you said she's had her third child with a surrogate she was a surrogate oh she was the surrogate for someone else yes so she's has two of her own children okay not three okay so she's asking if she should go back to the guy that she has great sex with yes right but who's like not doesn't really gel with her gel with the family or whether she should go online and find i she should go and find someone else she's got to find someone that accepts her family i think well yeah a and yeah you have to find somebody who's like perfect all the way around who's got all the qualities that you're looking for not one of them sexual chemistry is only one component of a relationship don't settle we've been talking about this non-stop

do not settle for anything less than what you deserve and you decide what you deserve. And if you think that that's all you deserve is a good sexual chemistry partner, then that's all you're going to get. But I would say to set your standards a little bit higher and desire someone that's going to come in, accept your family for what it is and how many people there are and be able to contribute in a meaningful way. Maybe they'll even have some family of their own that they're bringing to the table and don't settle until you find exactly what you're looking for. And also the language that she uses around her body, like that to me is like thing number one to deal with. Like obviously this other guy thinks you're crazy hot.

Someone else will think you're crazy hot. But I think you got to fix some of the stuff that's going on inside and what happens when you look at yourself in the mirror. Because, I mean, saying like, oh, my breasts are rocks and socks, like it just hurts my heart for her. Yeah. Do some looking in the mirror and talking to yourself about how beautiful you are. Even if it feels cringy and fake and bullshit at the beginning, do it. It will change the way you see yourself. Like get giggly and excited when you look at yourself. Even if it feels like lying to yourself, be like, oh my God, I look amazing today. there is something that it does in your psyche that when you do start dating again people are going to be so attracted to that that like positive radiant energy you have because you're psyched about yourself absolutely and they'll be psyched about you too confidence is everything too have confidence in yourself and and know who you are and yeah don't settle don't go back look forward

look for someone new also yeah i sorry i skipped over that katherine thank you for bringing that up though like it does feel like the timing isn't necessarily right for you to be like that to be your sole mode of operation is finding a man maybe you should spend a little bit more time with yourself and your girls like you've been through a lot you just had another baby for somebody else like that's a lot so I think you should take a time out and like reinvest yourself in yourself and your girls and your family or sorry I don't know if you have boys or girls but in your family and and yeah find the value in yourself and do a little inside work before you start to look for you know another external factor to bring into your family dynamic yeah that's

really good well fill us in let us know how it goes starla keep us posted yeah let us know well let us know what develops and what doesn't develop yes well let's take a quick break and we'll be back with colleen and chelsea the jonas brothers are running it back we live the burning up tour and celebrate the biggest jonas brother hits that have defined a generation one incredible celebration one unforgettable night see the jonas brothers live at rbc amphitheater september 28th get tickets now at ticketmaster.ca jonas brothers the burning up tour all over again when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart

And these are the survivor files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books,

the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts See you between the pages.

Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show.

We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman. Not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this? how about we flip it on its head how about we flip the script what if the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting

weird Adam Scott this entire time you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show I would never expect I would never set expectations for something like that to happen

if the universe allows for something like that to happen i am open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this So everyone's so dumb, except for you. Right.

Fake and also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.

I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself.

So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, we're back from our break. Colleen and I were going to have a snack, but she's not eating anything bad, so we didn't have one. And now we're here. We're just having water. Yeah, it's so great. How many meals do you have a day?

Three? Or do you allow yourself to say? And I'm going to tell people what I eat because a lot of people have been contacting me on Instagram and stuff asking what I eat. I'm just going to tell you what I eat. For breakfast, I have two hard-boiled eggs. That's it. For lunch, I have chicken salad. I make chicken salad with a little mayo.

And I eat keto bread. So I make like a little keto sandwich. That's lunch. And then I eat a keto bar from Costco. It's like a little chocolate keto bar. And I have that in between. And then for dinner, I have the factor meal or I go to CPK and get my special salad that I get at CPK. But yeah, I don't eat out all that often. My husband and I are both on this diet. So we're,

you know, but yeah, that's pretty much what I eat. And so, yeah, I don't cheat. If I cheat, it's a keto dessert. So Colleen, yes, we also love when our guests ask for a piece of advice from Chelsea so is there anything you'd like to ask Chelsea about well I'm gonna ask Chelsea a question about health because I really admire and now she has been Bruno you've got a trainer I don't have that but but I your body's amazing oh my god thank you yes and your pictures in your bikinis I I'm like okay my goal I've never worn a bikini ever ever so my goal is to look good in a bikini It doesn't have to be perfect, but I got the pooch still. I had a baby.

I have the belly. I want to know how I can tone my stomach, what exercises I can do at home to just give me. I hate sit-ups. I hate them, so please don't tell me sit-ups. But something, I don't know what to do, to tone the stomach muscles to make me, you know. I don't have any definition yet. Okay. I will tell you what my experience has been.

I with your diet that you're eating I don't know how long you go without eating food is it like three to four hours or is it five to six like what is it uh I don't know I'm like two hours I'll eat I'll eat a bar or something okay so I would say to try this okay every so when I get my leanest like if I have a photo shoot this is what I do I eat and then I set my alarm and in between three you have to wait three to four hours and then I eat again it could be something small it can be a full meal whatever but every three to four hours to feed your body okay is how you get the remaining last five pounds off really and you don't have to do sit-ups because as soon as your ribs like as soon as i start doing that my fat just starts because you need the fat

to burn the fat right right so you can't deprive yourself of fat so what you're doing your plan is working but i would just say time it don't eat every two hours okay eat every three to four hours wherever you're hungry between those three to four hours okay and see if that makes a difference because that's a way to kickstart your metabolism okay yeah and that's what I do before I have to get ready for anything okay because there's like that last you know yeah five pounds and it's and I have I've had a baby but whatever but I mean it's I'm not bikini ready yet so I would like to yeah you know put on my bikini too and feel good in it just feel good and even if you're not hungry with the three to four hours i know you will because you eat pretty consistently

right right like if you need to split it up like the more you can do that throughout the day the more meals you can have the better like five small meals is better than four small meals okay because it just keeps burning your fat and it gets in there to those areas that are hard to lose right so yeah i'm doing it right now and i mean i can already tell i've lost body fat really yeah and i've been doing it it takes you'll see a difference in four or five days okay but i wanted to hear what happens with that with the diet thing too oh yeah well you'll see a post in my bikini and i'll and i'll i'll tag you yeah exactly fitness for life chelsea hammer well do you want to plug any socials or anything colleen that's fine um colleen what am i i don't

even know i'm she tried to get the handle dumb dumb she when my first song she's like she's like i'm not on instagram or anything and she's like i'm gonna get the handle dumb dumb on instagram Colleen underscore Siragusa. There you go. There you go. You can follow me there or ask me any questions, and I'll get back to you. Thank you so much for joining us. This was awesome.

Thank you. This was so much fun. That was so much fun. I'm so glad you came. Thank you, Colleen. Thank you, Catherine. Now, where's Joe Coy? Because I need to meet him.

He's here. Hi. How are you? Oh, my goodness. I said I need to shake the hand of the man who can survive COVID. okay stand updates i have winnipeg coming up march 10th and march 11th there are still tickets to the second show which i believe the second show was added on the 10th yes we have two shows coming up in toronto march 12th you can get tickets to the late show still for that and then

i'm going to ottawa and then i pick back up in cedar rapids des moines and omaha april 14th 15th 16th and then every weekend and through July so pick your tickets up go buy them at chelseahandler.com and you'll see me on my People's Choice Award winning comedy tour the best tour of 2021 and even though it's 2022 I consider it to be the best tour of 2022 as well thank you also for tickets to Vancouver and Calgary I really apologize for all the changing of dates but now the Grammys have been rescheduled for the day that I was going to reschedule my Vancouver dates and I don't get nominated for Grammys very often people so I have to go to those so we are rescheduling again the Vancouver and Calgary dates they are most likely to be rescheduled in August but you can always

check my website we will update or Instagram or Twitter we update it all the time and as soon as we have those dates locked in you will hear about it so my apologies and any tickets you have will be honored for those new rescheduled dates. And if you'd like to get advice from Chelsea and one of her guests, please write in to DearChelseaProject at gmail.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced these are stories about what it takes to make it out alive listen to the

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