Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - The Fire Inside with Rachel Morrison

Episode Date: December 26, 2024

Director and cinematographer Rachel Morrison joins Chelsea to talk about why actors are usually not Olympic athletes, the importance of telling your story, and overcoming the obstacles in her way… by just ignoring them.  Then:  A silent caller seeks help in the bedroom.  A wife wonders how to save her second marriage. And a mom struggles with the decision to have a second baby after a tricky diagnosis.   * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by. The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff.

They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it. Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride

and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, Katherine. Hi, Chelsea. Hi, how are you? I'm good. I'm good. I'm just all cozy from the holiday.

I know. It's so nice. I spent Christmas alone this year, and I cannot say enough good things about it. That sounds wonderful. I'm on my way to New York because I have shows in New Orleans and Atlanta this weekend. And then I'm going to come right back to Whistler, but I'm going to party it up in New Orleans and Atlanta. And I had no family come this year. I have some nieces and girls coming. in a few days when I get back. But I spent the holiday reading a book by myself in front of the fire. I almost masturbated. I was so excited. How's the skiing been this year? Skiing has been great. We've got a lot of snow this year. Action packed. Lots of skiing. Lots of skiing. I'm on day

10, 11 of skiing. Amazing. Amazing. I don't ski every day, but I ski pretty, I ski, you know, like four to four or five days a week. Great. Well, our guest today is somebody that you have actually met before. Yes, I have, which I hadn't known. She is a cinematographer and a director of the very new, passionate film, The Fire Inside. She was also the first female cinematographer nominated for an Academy Award for Mudbound. And now she is directing her own movie. She's also the cinematographer on Fruitvale Station, which was another great movie. And she was the first woman to lens a Marvel movie, the first woman to lens a Marvel movie, which was Black Panther. So she is now directing her own film.

This is her debut. Please welcome Rachel Morrison. Rachel Morrison, welcome. Thank you. Thanks for having me. You walked into my house and I said, oh, it's so nice to meet you. And then you reminded me that. I was like, I was an operator on your show a million years ago.

How funny. Was it after Lately? After Lately. Oh, after Lately. Oh, OK. That was fun. It was fun. Yeah, that was ridiculous.

It was totally ridiculous. And it was so long ago, I literally called Brian Burgoyne, my dear friend, and was like, was I the DP? Was I an operator? He was like, well, I was the DP. And he was like an Abbey and so and so were the operators. So I must have maybe day played more than. Or maybe you were the director and you just don't even remember.

Very possible. I think I would remember. Well, you've obviously accomplished a lot since then. So I want to talk about it because I just watched your newest movie. Well, this is your first directorial debut movie. It is my first feature, yes. So you were originally a cinematographer. I'd like to think I'm still a cinematographer.

I just happen to be. I'm moonlighting as a director at the moment. Well, you were the first woman to get nominated for an Academy Award as a cinematographer. That did happen. And that was for Mudbound. Yes. And then you were also the cinematographer on Fruitvale Station. True.

All films that have a very specific look to them. And this movie, A Fire Inside, is based on a real-life boxer. Her name is Clarissa... Shields. Shields. And she's from Flint, Michigan. And what I really loved, for starters, about the movie was that the end of the movie

wasn't where the end of the movie should be. Where you're used to seeing the triumph at the end and you focus, and while there is triumph at the end, the big kind of crescendo of the movie isn't what you would think would be the end of the movie. Inspirational sports movies have a real construct. We're so used to, you know, you sort of start from nowhere, you work really hard, you have a setback,

you work even harder, and then you win and the credits roll. and this is not that because life is not that and I think that to me was what was so exciting and interesting about this film is like Clarissa is this badass she's resilient she's all the things but not just inside the ring outside the ring too and the story doesn't end with the win it really asks which I think is also much more like real life like what happens after the win especially if you are not Michael Phelps and what does happen after the wins this is so she wins she gets a gold medal at the Olympics at a, how old is she? 17 years old. Right. So she trains,

it's that coming up story. She busts her ass. She's from a family that doesn't have a lot of money. Her mom is kind of not really present. She's raising her siblings and she meets this coach and obviously they have that bond and then they get to the Olympics and they win the gold medal. And then what happens after she wins the gold medal is a very, it's pretty devastating to watch, but probably way more common than any of us know. So what was your experience researching that? Yeah, well, I mean, I was fortunate to have a lot of archival material and have Clarissa. I mean, this is a woman who's very much alive and well and has opinions in all the best ways. And like for me, it was incredibly important to try to, you know, do justice to the authenticity of

her experience and the story and of Flint as a community. So I leaned, you know, heavily into what really happened but yeah there was this idea that you know if that winning would be enough that if she could just get the gold then endorsements would follow and that you know money would come and all of these things and you know that wasn't what panned out for her I mean I think that the reality of being black female and from a community that's you know not seen as often as other communities like you know she had to sort of work twice as hard and as you know kind of come back pick herself back up and eventually get noticed again. I do think even, you know, even in real life, like as I think for most of us, you don't get to stay on top, right? Like that's not how

the real world works. So even had those things come, you still have to find it, you know, get up the next day and make breakfast and figure out what's next. And we're also talking about boxing as a female sport, which is, you know, which was at the time, not, I think it's a hard thing to sell as a woman who's be as she says in the movie, stop telling everyone you want to beat the shit out of other people. That's your motivation. And that's your impetus. They're like, that's not going to you're not going to be on a cereal box cover by saying that and declaring that they wanted her to be more feminine, even in the sport that she's Yeah, and I think that that's true. I mean, it's women so often find that it's not enough to just be like, great at what you do as

an athlete, to be great at your sport as a you know, for me as a cinematographer to be you get viewed through this whole other lens of you know what it's like to be a female cinematographer or a female athlete and how you present yourself and how you look and all of these other things so it's like you have to jump through a bunch more hoops and then in her case yeah it was a sport that people don't expect women in they don't necessarily want to see women punching each other like and so she was she is she's one of the absolute best and you know is still by all accounts not known the way that she should be hopefully the film will start to change that yeah I think so definitely how do you feel about your role as a female director as a female cinematographer like

in relation to what we're talking about in your professional career and kind of like the arc of your career how do you feel that you've been impacted by certain setbacks or sexism or any of the things we all kind of face being a female in a male-dominated industry I mean I've always tried not to let the noise overwhelm me or the lack thereof right like it's more like you never know why your phone doesn't ring then like I can't speak to the most acute experiences of you know being treated a certain way I can speak to people not expecting you to be in the powerful position that you're in so like sitting in a van on the way to the it was the pickup set of Black Panther and you know the teamster gets in and it was me and the AD who's also female and and you

know he's like we were running late we're like we gotta go we gotta go and he's like I'm waiting for the DP and the first AD. I'm like, who do you think we are? Like, what? And that's kind of more, my experience has been people looking past me for the cinematographer, expecting me to be the AC. But beyond that, I really tried not to ever let that, if you let that get you down, you can't just focus on making good work. I think I've always just tried to keep my head in the work itself. And I think to that extent, I think we're all ready to just let it be about the work, right like we don't want to be the female cinematographer we want or the female boxer like she's the best athlete she really is she's that good and so to be able to start talking about

carissa as a boxer not a female boxer or me as a director not a female director like that female comedian or female comedian exactly like that's the next step is just you know we want to get to the place where like i think we're starting hopefully to like when you say doctor you don't picture a man and like it'll be real nice when you say director and people don't picture a man or you say pilot pilot all of it right for all of it yeah um what was the phrasing for her directing the it was it was exactly that the phrasing on like wikipedia or one of these things about being the first oh the first woman to to lens a marvel yes that's how they described you the first female to lens a marvel and it's nice when you hear first female like that's nice

together because you're like oh i've i've done something for the first time but then after i understand I think they're two probably separate points because they can belabor that because I remember when I was had my late night show people all the people ever asked me what about was what's it like to be the only woman in late night and I was like that's not what I'm thinking about do you think that's what I'm thinking about yeah being the I'm not even paying attention to those guys I'm sitting here coming every day trying to make a funny show working at the time like if imagine if I got mired in all of that nonsense I would be not productive at all so I couldn't that's exactly yeah and and I I do encourage women in general like we all I mean it sucks right like it is not

an even playing field but if you get mired in it then it's hard to actually get through it and make the great work tell the great jokes like you just almost have to just slough it off and then you know hopefully people one day will will stop putting us in in boxes so how did you decide to do that how did you decide to put the kind of crescendo of the movie in a different place Well, so the script is written by Barry Jenkins. Incredible Barry Jenkins. And it came to actually Alicia Holmes, our producer, brought the documentary T-Rex about Clarissa in that 2012, 16, 17 years of age, that time frame to Barry. Barry wrote the script and then they brought it to me. And that was part of what excited me about it was that it didn't end where you would expect it to. You know, I think the idea of making an inspirational sports movie, like, great, who doesn't love one? But you also you really do. They have such a they have such a format. And so I was excited. You know, the studio obviously was scared. Like, it is very scary to do the opposite of what everybody typically does in any, you know, in any shape of format, to break a format, you know, and there's certainly that feeling of like, after this major crescendo in the wind, like, how do you get people to reinvest? because I think they're so they're like is it it feels a little early to be over but like it's you know and it's not and then they sort of have to understand as was her experience what

it's like to sort of have to you know what do I dream about now what do I live for now all of these things and kind of get back up off off their feet along with Clarissa but I really I really loved that about the project and I just think her story deserved to be out in the world deserves to be out in the world you know for me making a biopic about somebody who's famous already okay great but like tell a story that deserves to be known and deserves to be told and actually people don't know is much more for me a much more valuable use of my time and my my skills I guess yeah I mean there it's kind of heartbreaking the idea of being an athlete and having this kind of expiration date also it's a different kind of lifestyle than I guess for a while women who

were actresses you know didn't think they were going to get work over 40 but that's not true anymore you know people are peaking and their 40s and 50s you know some people are working more than ever. But sports especially is a an industry where you think where there is an exit, there is a time you have to retire, there is a time where you can no longer perform your sport. And then you have to think about what else you're going to do. But to the thought of peaking and then not being able to maintain that, and almost giving up and then returning to the sport is more of an original storyline. Yeah. And I think that that's what's so like, for me, it's, it's so powerful and so relatable like you know we can all look at these incredible athletes but we don't necessarily

relate to them right like when you see a movie about somebody who's a legendary anything right but to actually see somebody who like I think there are so many different ways into this film you know and one of them is like we all know what it's like to get knocked down and then like to have to pick yourself back up and find find a purpose I mean in some ways I think it's really it becomes I would say the message is almost like about it being the journey not the destination which is such a great message for life right and also not to let the disillusionment not to get so disillusioned with something that's not going at the pace that you want expected it to go you know like when you face something and it's not happening with the speed and in the way that

you imagined not being attached to the outcome that you imagined knowing that the outcome can change and the goalposts can change exactly you know and then i mean obviously then it really is specifically Clarissa and Jason like what they very specifically endured in terms of just you know coming from a community that has been really overlooked and to transcend all of that like it's such a testament to them and you know and Jason's still he's still coaching volunteer coaching kids at Burstyn Fieldhouse every day Monday through Friday like 6 p.m. and like he's just a good human and so also to be able to chant you know it's now there's a movie about him and like he deserves it right and chris of course and i think it's a more relatable version of a sports movie

than probably most has there ever been a time within your professional career or life where you had any sort of disillusionment that could compare to that where you thought about giving up i'm not giving up but i mean in some ways i'm in this seat because we're gonna be honest like after the the oscar nomination and black panther and being the first at all these things i think i had the same idea that like the scripts were just going to come you know and that i was going to have the rest of my cinematography career laid out for me and the reality is some of it is our industry shifting so like all the movies that i had wanted to tell which were big like dramatic films the hundred million dollar dramas they don't really get made anymore i got to the target too late

they there's so few directors who get to work in that space you know maybe denis villeneuve and nolan and like a few people get to make hundred million dollar dramas effectively but the rest are superhero movies which isn't really what I set out to do so there was a bit of a like oh wait I did all the things and here I am and my future isn't clear and that was where you know I'd been entertaining the idea of directing it had really been the Ryan Cooglers and the Rick Famayuas who you know who I did dope with like who have always sort of said you should be out there directing you have stories to tell you have a vision for those stories like kind of trying to push me out into the arena and I was nervous like that wasn't what I I came up always with a camera like and

that was my safety net right I was behind the scenes I'm supporting I'm like the supporting cast and I'm happy there and so to suddenly be out like in front of all of it was really terrifying to me but at the same time I just I didn't want to yeah sit there waiting for something that wasn't going to come and I was like I'd rather start over and push myself in a new way and learn again and all of these things. So I guess, yeah, there's a lot that sort of my journey in some ways, you know, mirrors Clarissa's a little bit. I think everyone's does, you know?

It's just a matter of what, in what way. Have you had a mentor, like someone that you kind of? I actually haven't. I think there's also this assumption with especially women that we've all been, like we came up under somebody. I see so many people who approach me and are like, you know, giving me their cards and asking to do the thing.

And I never actually had, I was never brave enough to do that. so I because of that and also I didn't it didn't come up as an AC I did do some operating such as on your show but like I I the biggest sets I was ever on were my own I had never been on a set as big as Black Panther in any capacity until I got the job yeah I mean that would be intimidating it was terrifying exciting but terrifying yeah yeah you know I came I love this mentor conversation because like I never had a mentor either I never had somebody that I could like bounce ideas off of or someone that guided my career or helped me. And I blame that person for all of my missteps

because it would have been really nice. Like I have a really close girlfriend who's a CEO and she's been this in this role for many years. She hops around to different companies and just like cleans them up and creates equity in all these organizations. And she's got all these mentors, you know, wherever we go out together, she's like, oh, this is my mentor for the last 15 years. This is my, this is who I call when I'm about to, when I'm considering whether or not to take a job. And I'm like, oh, I go, that doesn't really exist in our industry. Or did it just not happen for me? You know, because your careers can be so singular, you know, none of them are, not all of them

are comparable. And the way people kind of, your hustle has to create the opportunities, you know, this kind of inveterate hustle that we all have to adopt and be like, okay, we're ready for anything. We can do anything. Yeah. And you're just kind of instilling your own self-esteem and competence. into yourself a little bit it's true and like i think you know now i have like a manager who's

amazing but i think also being a multi-hyphenate it is you know because i'm moving between these different spaces like i have i have dp agents and i have directing agents and they don't even necessarily know each other you know and you're just kind of making your way in the world and hoping you don't screw anything up too bad right but i mean also to your point i think having a general sense of like yeah you kind of have to just turn in and like trust your own instinct and when you make a mistake try to grow from it yeah yeah it's easy it's easier said than done sometimes like when we fall down you know it's easier it's it's nice to be able to always remember that in those difficult moments that it's okay it's not going to last forever yeah this is just

like a pitfall in on your way and that that's required for any sort of trajectory is to have several pitfalls it's true but i would take a mentor yeah you offering i know i know i'm like No, this is an episode called We Need Mentors. We Need More Female Mentors. The movie is called A Fire Inside. It's absolutely fantastic. I loved watching it. I love the originality of the way you arranged everything.

We're going to take a break, and we'll be right back with Rachel Morrison. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything.

Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts if your bookshelf and your for you page are equally

important to your personality welcome home this is prose society the weekly podcast that's part book club part group chat for thought daughters pop culture obsessives and anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse i'm eli rallo and every week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations,

or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita,

trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself.

So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners.

Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can you help me shape this yeah how about we flip it on his head okay how about we flip the script okay what if the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something

like that if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this state everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every

episode but he's just so busy listen to hollywood handbook on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and we're back with rachel oh i have a quick question about the movie what you know because it since it takes place in flint with the and the water crisis and everything that happened there you guys didn't really touch upon that well so so the movie takes place before the water crisis came to light so you know you you have the underpinnings and that's why we reference like milk takes it milk tastes like water anyhow and like all you see sort of the water plant in the background and the idea was that you sort of feel it quite literally bubbling under under the surface but it wasn't it nobody knew yet so and it was we stayed in in 2012 and

2014 is when i really okay that makes sense um and the other thing can we just say one more thing i just want to shout out to ryan destiny my lead actress who's just incredible in the film and does every single one of her own stunts and just like I feel like is I just can't wait to see for the world to see what you know what she becomes how did you come about casting her we were looking for athletes who could act and actors who are athletic and found that more often than not they're it's like pointing the opposite directions right like you go into theater school if you don't do sports and vice versa so I finally had to give up the dream of finding my perfect olympic athlete who was also a transformative actress and Ryan came into the room and just was undeniable as a

dramatic performer. She really, the fight scene with Jason in the hallway was like the scene that I just saw the movie in that one performance. And so I was like, well, we're going to teach her how to box. And sure enough, like amazingly six months of solid training and nutrition and all the things, but she transformed. And again, every stunt was, was her. Wow. That's amazing. Yeah. She's really powerful. Even when she's like not saying anything, there's just that look on her face and in her eyes she has a very powerful presence yeah for sure well our first question comes from chris that's a little bit of a dating and rejection question perfect chris says dear chelsea first things first your podcast is amazing i just adore you and the authenticity you bring to

each episode i make frequent drives from portland to my hometown in new york and your podcast has made these far more tolerable hopefully not portland oregon that's a really long fucking drive. That's what I was thinking. I'm writing because I'm having a hard time with being single lately. I've been single for about five years now, and I've been okay with that, but I do miss having a boyfriend. I found out recently from working with a therapist that I place somewhere on the autism spectrum, so naturally that's led to some insecurity when meeting guys I like. Also, the gay community is quite small where I live, so sometimes it feels like the pressure is on when you meet a good one. I did about a year ago, but he stopped seeing me right after our first argument. He

clearly wasn't the guy for me, but it still crushed me into sadness so much so that it felt like withdrawal. I guess my question is, what are your tips for handling rejection? How do you think it's best to help yourself bounce back when you're in those sad spells? I'd love to be able to be sad for less time when rejection happens. Thanks so much for reading. Have a beautiful day, Chris. I look at rejection as a one step closer to success. Every rejection you get is one step closer to finding what you want. And I think you have to rearrange your whole attitude towards rejection. It is not the end of the world. It is not a death. It is a pointer in a different direction. It is telling you this didn't work out. Don't give up. Don't give up. But, you know,

it's down the line. Like you can't take rejection that seriously. Somebody you broke up with after one argument that tells you everything you need to know. That's not your person. You got that. So don't focus on the rejection part. Focus on the fact that you got through that person in a quick way and that the next person hopefully is coming sooner now since you got this guy out of the way. You know what? If it takes you five people to meet the right one, now you're one person closer to meeting that person. That's how I look at rejection. I like that attitude. And I think the other thing is just double down on the things you love, like, you know, and on yourself. Right. So if it's if it's seeing the ocean or boxing or whatever it is to get through things for me anyway, when it's hard, it's like I have to just really invest in the things that I know make me happy. And then, you know, you open your eyes again and you're fine. And also a reminder of the reason why people write down gratitude lists is to remind yourself of all the things in your life that you are happy about so that you don't harp so much on the negative and that you can focus on the positive. So start doing that. Just write 10 things down every morning when you wake up. When I'm in a funk, I always do that because I'm like, get yourself out of your own ass. It's not that bad. Here are all the things that are going great. And that's always a kind of a good reminder and a good wake-up call for you if you're feeling bad about yourself and your dating life. Like, don't take that aspect of things so seriously.

Like, you're going to survive until you find your person. It's not an emergency. Don't rush it. And focus on all the other positives. Yeah. And in the list-making category, I think it's great to, like, write down what you want in a partner. All the positive things that you foresee, like, in a partner for yourself is awesome. And just to touch on the autism point as well.

Oh, yes. I want to say something about that as well. Well, just that that's a whole, that's a great bonus too. Listen, people on the spectrum give us so much more information than we would have had without having all these people on the spectrum. It is a gift. So don't look at it as a negative. That's another positive.

You're unique. You have something that most people don't have. I was reading this thing on autism. I'm like, oh my God, it was so beautifully written about the contributions that autistic people have made to our society to make us look at ourselves and look at the things that we don't know and like your specialties and your skill sets are way superior than ours you know in certain areas all of that stuff is awesome that's also a good thing like start thinking about that as a good thing not as a bad thing yeah and especially in relationships like I have a family member who

is on the spectrum and people think about it as being like oh maybe you wouldn't have the same kind of relationship. No, he has the most deeply felt beautiful relationship with his partner. And like, I think it's like you said, absolutely a boon and something that's unique and special about it's also when you can identify that you're on the spectrum of autism. Now you know what your strengths are, what your weaknesses are in relation to autism. And then that that is a great way to figure out who a good partner for you is going to be. It's like getting a personality assessment. So like all of these things are good things. So start celebrating your life. get after it. Yeah. Well, our next caller is Amanda. Brad, we'll start with Amanda,

I think, since she can talk. We'll go with her first. So, Dear Chelsea, I write today feeling so defeated. I listen to your podcast every week and I'm really enjoying your couples minisodes. I would love it if my husband would join for couples counseling with Chelsea, but I'd settle for him just going to therapy locally. But he won't agree to that, and that's part of the problem. It's the second marriage for both of us. I had just come off my second train wreck long-term relationship after my divorce and was quite attracted to him as someone who had their life together and who seemed very honest and reliable, all still true. What's the issue then? Well, we seem to have a major problem with conflict resolution

and conflict in general, especially when drinking is involved. The smallest issue can go from a level two to three to a nine or 10 in minutes. For example, a few weeks ago, we had friends over and we were drinking and playing games. My daughter had just had oral surgery and he makes a joke about her appearance not even a funny one worth repeating she had a really swollen face and was still in a lot of pain so i found his comment to be super offensive and out of line luckily she didn't hear it but i glared at him and then later said something via text like you're really showing your true colors i regret texting anything and will own my part in the escalation instead of just apologizing for the remark which i wish he would have done in the first place and i wouldn't

have texted anything he says i'm the problem here that i should know better than to think he would try to hurt my feelings or my daughter's. I let him know that I don't think that was his goal, but it was certainly the outcome. He upped the ante, saying I really didn't know him and I'm attacking his character. Fights always end with him saying, we're done. Sometimes he'll send me a note from his phone with a divorce settlement. Well, his rendition of it. He does this sort of thing often. We both have hypersensitivity when it comes to our kids. And just to clarify, none of them are shared kids. They're from the previous relationships, which is understandable to a degree. Marriage is hard, but blended families and second marriages are even harder.

Any insight on what I can do to help on my end is welcome. I want to know I'm putting in my full effort and dedication as the last thing I want in life is another divorce. Amanda. Hi, Amanda. Hi, Chelsea. Hi. This is our special guest today, director Rachel Morrison. Hi, Amanda. Hello. Hi. Hi. Hi. Okay. So how long have you guys been married? Just shy of two years now. Okay. It sounds like your communication is not where it needs to be. You sending a text saying you're really showing your true colors is not how you start a conversation

that's going to be a constructive one. So you have to kind of take responsibility for your behavior too. You're married, right? I am, yeah. Okay. I'm not married for a good reason, but I understand like communication and within relationships and how important it is to set the tone because if you want him to act in a more responsible way and not threaten divorce in every argument or send you like texts like that. Like all of that is

just such immature, silly behavior, but it takes two of you to participate in that. So I would say he, you said he refuses to go to counseling. Yeah. I mean, he hasn't said it a hundred percent. No, but he, he always comes with an excuse. Like we don't need to spend the money on that. You know, We don't we don't need to take our time for that, both of which we have. He just doesn't he just doesn't want to put in the time or money, to be honest. Has he ever done any therapy like for himself or no? No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, it doesn't sound like it.

I would I would really try very hard to have a very rational, calm, loving conversation because it sounds like you guys are already in a habit of triggering each other and kind of saying mean or nasty things. And it's very judgmental. That doesn't go over well if you're both dishing it back and forth. So I would try really hard to go at him in a really calm when you're not drinking and say, listen, I think the way we talk to each other could really improve. I think if we want to make this marriage work, I know I want to make this marriage work.

If you really want to make this marriage work and we can have more cohesive, balanced relationship where we're not sending each other nasty texts, totally take responsibility for your part. do not make it seem like it's all about him this is a relationship so it's about both of you but that you really think it would be a wise investment to go to therapy like I don't him threatening you with divorce is not a relationship that's not fair yeah you have to be able to argue and talk about difficult emotions without acting like it's over and or childlike yeah yeah I agree I'm glad you pointed out though that's probably part of why I wrote in like what I'm doing because I know I'm not innocent in this and I know that I do trigger him and sometimes I even know like

what I'm going to say that's going to set him off and then I hate myself for doing it because I hate the whole spiral you know the whole evening's ruined and of course nobody wants that but that's what's so nice like if you can because sometimes I feel like people don't even know what they're saying no to with therapy like they don't really understand it and especially couples therapy they think of is like oh we're just going to be fighting you know in front of somebody as opposed to like this idea that when you're in a calm place and actually being like him hearing you say that you want to take more accountability and vice versa maybe there's a way to just sort of paint a picture a clearer picture to him that like couples there how useful it can be and why and that it's

not always it's not this contentious right thing all the time it's not like you're going there to argue you're going there to figure out how to resolve arguments in real life how to not let them escalate how to not let them get to the point where he's sending you a text with a divorce decree you know you don't want to act like that that's not acting in a loving way so yeah that's a great thing to impress upon him what therapy actually is and the idea that the time investment if he doesn't want to spend the time like an hour could save you nights and it sounds like you know days and nights of these like escalated moments that really it's an investment in getting your time back i love that that's so true like the way to have handled that situation without saying

you're showing your true colors or blah especially when your daughter didn't even hear it i understand it's out of line he shouldn't have said anything I get that but the way to have handled that would have been to talk the next morning when you're both sober and and calm and go you know I just I wanted to just bring this up like I heard what you said about her and although she didn't hurt hear that that's hurtful to me and it would have been really hurtful had she heard it I would have really appreciate us being like that's what you'll learn in therapy how to like talk about things and disagree in a calm way. A disagreement can be an exploration.

It doesn't have to be combative. Yeah, exactly. I think he's worried that the therapist and I are going to like gang up on him. Well, that's what every person who doesn't want to go to therapy is worried about. So he has to get over himself. Yeah.

So it requires a degree of him acting like, you know, just stepping up and meeting the moment and stepping up to the situation. But yeah, please just try it like, and just impress that upon him and have it in a loving way. Don't be accusatory. don't let it get escalated if it does get escalated put a pin in it and just like walk away from the situation and say okay I don't want to fight right now let's we can talk about it

another time yeah another good tip because that's something I need to work on too I need to just let it be sometimes you know and this is like a very cliche the old adage that everyone uses but like if you want something to change you need to change and and that's also why therapy is helpful your level of self-awareness increases your level of accountability increases do you have you been to couples therapy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I mean, I did once go with a boyfriend who flipped out when we went to couples therapy. I mean, he hit the roof. He thought for sure that me and my therapist were against him. Like I hadn't told my therapist anything about this relationship. I hadn't even seen my therapist in years. And I was like, Oh, I had hit a crossroads. And my boyfriend

just lost his marbles. And, you know, I realized in that moment, it's just it's we're not we're not going to get anywhere. Like it's not going to happen because of his resistance to actually deal with stuff. So if you're dealing with that situation, then that is going to be difficult because then you really have a decision to make, but hopefully you can get him to agree. And it won't be like that. And maybe, I mean, what if like he finds the therapist, you know, or like if it feels like it's coming from his court, a friend, a friend of his recommends somebody so that it doesn't, you know, it's not your therapist or, or I don't know if that, if that would help at all but that's a really good idea definitely had not thought of that yeah and make him part

of the decision do you want a female do you want a male what kind of what would you prefer make it all about you know making him comfortable since you're already open to going to therapy it doesn't really matter where you go you know yeah good tips okay well problem solved the rest of your marriage yeah half of the problem is solved okay keep us posted uh i will thank you guys you like progress reports and updates we do we do thanks amanda thank you thanks amanda all right all right well our next question comes from lauren lauren says dear chelsea i'm writing because i don't know who else to ask about my dilemma my wife and i have been married for nearly seven years now together for 11 we genuinely love each other and are both extremely successful in our careers

careers tend to take a front seat to everything else including our non-existent sex life We've been to therapy in the past, and while it's helped, we haven't resolved our issues. My wife despises oral sex, says it makes her gag. Unfortunately, that's the primary way I've engaged with sexual partners in the past. It's what turns me on the most. Other things we've tried have been triggering for my sexual abuse and trauma from my past. I've never had someone love me and care about me as much as she has, but I don't want a sexless marriage for the rest of my life. I've even thought of cheating, which I've never done to any partner, but the lack of

feeling desired and the lack of sexual activity has really taken its toll on me. Hoping you have some advice. Thanks so much, Chelsea. Lauren. Hi, Lauren. Yeah, I'm sorry. My voice is very terrible. That's okay.

Oh, sorry that we're straining it by the podcast. Brett, can we get the chat function up on the screen? That is quite a predicament that you're in. It sounds like you need a sex therapist. Yeah, that's actually a good idea. Like a regular therapist isn't going to be able to kind of bridge this gap because if she has that kind of reaction to the basically the kind of sex you want to have, then that is it doesn't sound like it's going to be something you're going to be able to tackle without someone who has experience discussing this. And especially if it sounds like you have some trauma in the past, too. Like I do think a sex therapist will be really trained in navigating some of the intricacies.

Is that are you is she open to that? You said she would be open to that? Yeah, I think that's what you need to do because, like, also, like, I love what you said that careers, both of your careers take the front seat, but that also is an issue. When both people work that hard, that always can become an issue because when you are exhausting all of your efforts into one area of your life, you don't have a lot of stamina for the other areas of your life. And especially if you're getting fulfillment from them. I mean, I think you start to feel like there's no void, but there obviously is. She's saying that getting her to open up, because she's very private, that getting her to open up would be very difficult.

Well, I mean, yeah, it is going to be difficult. And it's also necessary if you want to salvage your marriage. There's really no other option. So you're going to have to get her to like, if she wants to salvage the marriage and if she's where you are, then that's what you've got to do. And there may be, I mean, this person, like a therapist might have some more ideas for you in terms of like do you explore opening things up or do you explore like what are some other ways to get both of your needs met but like under the supervision of an expert where it feels

like it's safe and contained as opposed to like right yeah you know like a trauma-informed sex sex therapist yeah and have you had individual therapy for what you've been through as well this is very funny the way we're doing this yes i've been in individual therapy for the past 10 years okay great that's great okay well that's your homework go find a sex therapist a trauma informed sex therapist all right thanks so much lauren i did want to say chelsea i do i did bring this out of retirement sorry oh my god sorry about our president i just it was just this is so nice the podcast and me performing live are my biggest gifts because i always forget about the fact that our reality is this, when I'm recording

or when I'm on stage. For those moments, I always forget. I feel like we need to update the shirt. You know the, you know, fool me once is you. Shame on me. Fool me once, shame on you. Now we need like, sorry about my president and our entire country.

And the makeup of our country. And we have to apologize for Elon. No, actually, South Africa has to apologize for Elon Musk. He started there. That's right. Anyway, good luck with everything. thank you how do you think about that in terms of like your creative professional life and with the backdrop of what's going on now I mean you mean the world what's the world yeah the world

the world is on fire too I am I have children I do I have two kids they're six and nine and like they're certainly like what keeps me kind of going in the morning and hopefully the future but it is a it's a really messed up time and it's like I feel good that the movie that I'm endorsing right now actually has a messaging that I can stand behind like it's not just creative like you know fodder that's completely escapism and hopefully can sort of move the needle in some way shape or form but yeah it's it's I don't know it's a it's it's hard to like wake up every day and think that like this is our reality and like to I mean I'm terrified of what what the like long term damage is going to be what the potential could be what the future will look like because

there's a part of me that's like maybe nothing really will happen because they're all so incompetent and then or maybe our institutions are so strong but like whatever he did to our institutions the last time to when they took their first beating yeah it's like are they strong enough to withstand I mean I was at the the power breakfast this morning and um One of the speakers was a woman in Texas who was forced, who basically, I guess she went into labor at 18 weeks and couldn't get anybody. She went into sepsis. She almost died. The whole fucking nine.

And that's, I mean, that's a result of one term. And I forget what the number of thousands already. That's the result of one term. And here we are in term two. I'm always looking for anyone to inject some sort of optimism so I can focus on that. It's like the last thing I hear is what I hold on to. Well, Arizona and I think Florida, if I'm not mistaken, but they like actually had stuff on the ballot that was for abortion rights and they all passed.

Like there were a few states. No, not Florida. Not Florida then. No, Florida had a 60% majority and that's still not enough. They needed 60% and they were at 57%. Okay. Arizona did pass that. Arizona did, yes.

So we like that. Yeah. Good job, Arizona. Let's come up with something else optimistic. Well, I think, okay. Okay. That's great. I think like as a creative, our jobs are to provide optimism, right?

To provide a story that you can hold on to, to provide hope and some sort of hopefulness in the dark, you know? Like, okay, so when I think about my standup or when I think about my books or even the guests that we're having on is the idea that you have to keep chugging away. We can't give up and throw our hands up. That's not an option. that's what they want. They want us to give up. They want us to be like, you know, so browbeaten and desultory in a sense that we have to really just take our jobs more seriously than

ever, right? You know, in the stories that you tell and the projects that you choose and to also really double down on helping other women succeed in the business that we're in. I think that's really the most important thing to always remember is that to be mentors, you know, when we didn't have them to become what we didn't have. And I always try and think about that with anyone who comes to me. I just I want to help them. And I think all women should take that on. Yeah, agreed. Whether you're in a position of power or not, you should be helping other women achieve their goals, achieve their dreams, make sure they're taken care of in whichever ways that you can yeah which really brings us back to the movie because that's exactly what clarissa did

you know she fought for for other women athletes as well yeah yeah that was g in the parody space yeah that was amazing when she demanded equal uh equal pay for olympic athletes exactly okay we're taking a break and we'll be right back there's no shortcut for saving time but saving money is simple just combine your car and home insurance with bel-air direct and save Get a quote at fellerdirect.com. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files.

I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, Shut up. Don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table.

It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages.

On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first.

I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits,

change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us.

Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this? How about we flip it on its head? How about we flip the script? What if the surprise woman, who actually you think is the straight man, is actually the one who's acting weird? Adam Scott, this entire time, you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show. I would never let go of that.

I have. I would never set expectations for something like that. If the universe allows for something like that to happen, I'm open to it. I'm always going to accept, you know, Danny McBride. Fine. Yeah. It's all this fragile masculinity exuding. I could smell it walking down the hallway, to be honest with you.

I was like, is that weed? Nope. It's fragile masculinity. Ben Stiller, no. Because a lot of times, out of context, people don't get it or even know what a circle is. You know what I mean? They're so stupid. Everyone's so dumb except for you.

And fake. Right, fake and also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. We are back.

So our last question comes from Lynn. This is a bit of a complex issue, so stick with me. But she says, Dear Chelsea, my husband and I adopted our son internationally about six years ago, completing the process just before COVID. Adoption was a long and expensive journey, but I always imagined we'd adopt again within a few years. Unfortunately, the program we used slowed down for Americans, and we found ourselves waiting for it to reopen. Then earlier this year, I was diagnosed with MS, and shortly after, the program reopened, but we were declined due to my diagnosis. My MS, by the way, is currently fine and really no symptoms since the flare-up six months ago. With adoption from the country with ethnic ties for our current son not being feasible, we started exploring other options, including biological birth or embryo adoption.

A month ago, we were weighing whether to move forward with the financial and emotional investment of an embryo transfer, and we ultimately decided to proceed. Obviously, we can always stop and not do it, but we're at the point where we will be transferred the embryos. While I've consulted my doctors, who've all assured me it's safe, I still have concerns. At 40, I wonder if it's responsible to have another baby, given my MS and the nine-year age gap my son will have with his sibling. I also worry about whether I'm taking on too much or if our family is at its capacity for tasks and challenges. Also, although both children will be ethnically different from us, they would not be sharing cultural ties like we had originally wanted. I do feel some guilt knowing there are children waiting for families, but for us, it's not been an easy path. I'm reaching out because I have so many unanswered questions and would deeply value your thoughts.

If you were in my position, what factors would you focus on when making this decision, especially regarding personal health, the confusion this might inflict on our current son, and does all of this just feel kind of bonkers? Thanks for your time and guidance, Lynn. What do you think about that, Rachel? I mean, it hits kind of uniquely close to home for me in a lot of ways. I um something very similar with my my mom had a hard time getting pregnant was went through the whole adoption process the day she was the day before they were supposed to meet the child that they were adopting she found out she's pregnant with me they ended up my dad was like it's your your call we would have been 10 months apart and I think my mom felt like it was sort of you know

it was going to be too much and not fair to either of us and thought she'd be able to adopt again and and then you know had me and a few years later was diagnosed with cancer and very similar was it then was no longer eligible to adopt and you know I also this is I had a lot a lot of loss as a child my mom was sick my dad was sick and always wanted a brother and sister so my answer is like have another kid because your child will now you know have a sibling but we wouldn't you know nine years is a significant difference so for me like I always said I wasn't gonna have one kid without having two because I have so much trauma about being an only child but it is so specific to my circumstances. And I don't know that it's actually applicable advice to anybody

else other than, you know, in my scenario, I just always wanted a brother and sister. Yeah, I can understand that. I come from a family of six. So I understand what big families are like and how beneficial it is to have siblings. Again, I think all of the questions that you're posing and everything that you're saying, I feel like with parenting, if there's any doubt, don't do it you have to be 110 percent ready to make this addition to your family and all of your questions and concerns are completely valid and you're and you're not sure and I feel like that's your answer you're not sure then and you and you're happy with the dynamic that you have now and things have changed so I think you have to also you have to change your expectations of what

you want your life to be and focus on your health and the child that you do have and your marriage. You know, I don't think putting any extra pressure on your situation is the answer just based on your email. Yeah. And I think because of her age, like I can feel like, oh, we have to make this decision right now. But I think like give it six months. If you still feel in six or eight months that like you really must have this child, then maybe it's a different answer. To me, nine years is not a huge difference i have brothers that are 14 years apart and we're all very sort of like spread apart so to me that just feels like fun and you guys are a little bit spread apart too yeah so like that part doesn't feel too bad but i do think the point about like are we at our capacity for

challenges is sort of you know maybe just sit with us since it is such a recent diagnosis i would be curious i would be curious two things i would be curious what her son thinks just you nine is old enough to have opinions about things there are kids that are dying for siblings and kids who like i'm good you know and and if it like because that is the person probably who's going to be most impacted is is her other child so i'd be curious if it's something that he's always wanted or if he you know is kind of indifferent or or doesn't want and then i also you know i'm not in any way an expert on on ms i would say talk to somebody about what the more advanced stages look like and like you know i mean maybe get some some information from people who are experienced and know what is

gonna be us you know down the line yeah that's a good point to ask your son he is nine you know and get his input yeah that's great and then it really is a family decision yeah okay well we're wrapping up with Rachel Morrison thank you so much for being here thanks for having me it's nice to reunite with you once I found out we were reuniting um make sure you check out her movie The Fire Inside very exciting that your directorial debut is happening in real time it's pretty exciting I was saying like suddenly there's billboards up and like there's no backseats I just want to say to the studio

no backseats no it's real it's exciting and it is it's like it's the one movie that the whole family can go to that isn't animated which you know

I wish there were more of those to be honest I do too quite frankly I do too okay well thank you for being here thank you and we'll see everyone next week okay guys stand-up shows that I have coming up December 28th

I'm coming in New Orleans right before New Year's, and then I'll be in Atlanta, Georgia on December 29th. And those are the rest of my stand-up dates for this year. It's over. New tour, new year. If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at dearchelseapodcast at gmail.com and be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law.

And be sure to check out our merch at chelseahandler.com. i survived nine months in captivity and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced these are stories about what it takes to make it out alive listen to the survivor files with elizabeth smart on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts did you hear the new episode of the hey jonas podcast we are at d23 so we'll see who stops by the cast of frozen stopped by kristin bell josh gad and adina menzel i auditioned for frozen what

for kristoff they said okay what are you going to be singing today i said i don't know that must have been why you didn't get it oh you probably want it plus john stamos hayden christiansen from star wars and more and i guess i can share that uh no way listen to the latest episode of hey jonas on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts hey this is hayes davenport and sean clements we host the podcast hollywood handbook each week we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman adam scott danny mcbride ben stiller and

a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us listen to hollywood handbook on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts if your bookshelf and your for you page are equally important to your personality welcome home pro society is a weekly podcast that's part book club part group chat for anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse each week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as

a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle, I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.