Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - The Gift of Being Apart with Keri Russell

Episode Date: October 8, 2026

Keri Russell joins Chelsea to talk about New York in the 90s, the reason she’d leave acting if she could, and why she didn’t want to be thanked in Matthew Rhys’ Emmy acceptance speeches.  Then: A polyamorous couple decides to close things off with disastrous results… and wonders if a sub/dom arrangement is the answer.  * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Lisa, tell them about our new show. We have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi Youanu. We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa Di Giulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions. And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.

Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste is my business. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, this is Kylie Breakman. Angel Geratana. Jeremy Colhain. Patrick McDonald. And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists Podcast. The Improvised Character Comedy Podcasts where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft.

Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween sometimes. Does the Pope dress up? He winks on Halloween. He gets right up next to the microphone. I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other. You never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast. The True Crime Comedy Podcasts all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Each week I bring on an amazing guest. Ooh, I scammed them. What? I can talk to you for an hour. You're a generational yapper like me.

That's why I had to make yapping a job. And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube. Start listening to Scam Goddess on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Scam Goddess. I'm Hamza. And I'm Martin. And we're the host of Out of Character. The best podcast in the world.

It's really funny in a good time. Really? Yeah, yeah. I think statistics just came back and we're one of the funniest two guys with mics. And that's pretty hard to beat right now. It's true, actually. Why should people listen to us? Tell them. Well, we're trendy, we're funny, we're topical.

You get all your news here. Not, you know, the facts, but maybe our takes on it and everything in between. So listen out of character on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. In February of 2024, celebrated illustrator and children's book author, Patra Mathers, and her husband, Michael, mailed letters to dozens of friends and family members to let them know they had died by suicide. Dear honies, this is goodbye. By the time you get this letter, both Petra and I will be dead. Next stop, Wonderland. Why did they do it?

And what did it do to the people they left behind? Listen to Death of an Artist on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If anyone wanted to commit a murder, up here would be the greatest place in the world to hide the body. But no one will find it. He acted friendly. He talked friendly. He sounded friendly. They all knew that I did the scary boogie stuff,

and I said, maybe she'll find out where this girl is. I saw him violent. Backhanded a bow. Listen to the devil's quarry season two in the Bone Valley Feed on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, hi-and-mighty tour guys, is continuing. Pittsburgh on October 9th. Toronto is October 10th.

October 16th is Boise, Spokane is the 17th, then San Francisco, November 7th, and November 13th is Salt Lake. November 20th is Austin, then Houston, and then Irving. November 20th, November 21st, and November 22nd. I will be touring Texas. December 5th is Denver, December 6th, I am shooting my special in Vancouver, Canada. I have two shows that night. There are tickets available for the second show. then I'm going to Palm Beach, Florida, December 16th by popular demand, then Hollywood, Florida,

December 17th, and then two shows in Tampa, Florida on December 18th. So I will see you guys on the road. Come and see the High and Mighty Tour. I'll give you some LSD. Hi, Catherine. Hi, Chelsea. It looks like you're back in L.A. Oh, my God. We had a crazy, crazy fun-filled weekend with nieces and so many people and so many different cities. We had so much fun in Atlanta and then I did a talk at the Carter Center. If you guys, if anyone listening lives in Georgia or near the Carter Center, you need to go there and like hang out there. They're doing wonderful things for mental health for disease prevention. It's a nonpartisan organization that my niece Charlie interned at. And so then I became friends with the woman who

gave her her intern and I did a talk for them on my mental health journey because we, or saga. That's what we decided we're going to call it instead of a journey. And then I went out with Charlie and her boyfriend and all of her friends and they all came to the show and everyone from the Carter Center came. So that was really fun. Then we went to Baltimore. This weekend. And then we had, we had to Saginaw. That was a really fun show in Saginaw.

And then this weekend we have Pittsburgh and Toronto, which I think is, yeah, Toronto should be about sold out. Pittsburgh still has tickets. And where are we? Oh, Waukegan, Illinois on Friday night. No, Thursday night. We're at Waukegan, Illinois. This is my follow-up to my Chicago theater show because I didn't add one on the same night. So I had to come back around and then whatever.

But I'm coming to Waikagan Thursday night. People get your tickets. I'll be there and we're having the time of our life. This is Yomaniq's last weekend on tour, you guys with me. So, I mean, we're going to have to do some serious high and mighty. Today's guest is awesome. One of my favorite actresses of all time. I love her so much.

I used to wait tables in a restaurant that she would come in all the time when I moved to L.A. but I never got to wait on her table because Colleen, my very first roommate, who I referred to as Camel Toe, no, Dum Dum in my first book, she would only wait on Carrie Russell. Did we have Colleen on the show like way back in season one? Yes, yes, we did. I think we did. She's a cute.

But she was obsessed with Felicity and Carrie was on Felicity at that time and she was dating Scott Speedman and it would come into Terry's where we worked at a restaurant that's no longer there. So I never got to meet her. And I just, I think this is the first time I've met her. That's awesome. But I've communicated with her a little bit. So yes, that's our guest today.

Carrie Russell for season four of The Diplomat. Which is out next week on Netflix. Oh, yeah, exciting. That's a great show. Look at how cute you are. Oh my God. I just ran because I was like, just motherfucker. The UN is fine.

Are you raised that where you're coming from the U.S.? No, but like the whole city is, I wish. But no. Do you wish? No, I don't wish that. Here, put your headphones on. when you're ready when you're ready you do do i have to put headphones on you can put one on yeah that's what the kids do now because it makes me self-conscious does it it does i don't like to hear my own

voice oh isn't that weird i love learning first of all i don't know anything about you so here we go so here we go here we and i have something free but i also have something for you i also have something for you i have something for you and i forgot it but i'm going to get it to you how long are you in town for till Friday, Saturday morning. No, I'm here all weekend. I'm actually staying here all weekend. I'll get it. I'll get it.

This is Catherine, my producer. She's on the show too. Hey, Catherine, hi. Oh, now, it's good that I have this so I can hear Catherine. Yeah, yeah, so you can hear Catherine. That's primarily what it's for. So.

Hey, Catherine. Hi. The reason I don't know anything about you is because no one really knows anything about you. Success. Yes, yes. You are the opposite of me. You have, you are able to have

a very public, well, what are we calling it? A bibliography. You have a very public record of work. Let's call it that. Okay. And your private life, one of the reasons I really admire you, even though I barely know you, is because you manage to keep your private life very private. And you do. You do a very good job of it. So do. Well, no, no, no, no. Your private life? Everything is out in the open with me. It's just like, you know. I may as well be nude all the time because that's basically what's happened. So I like that. I like that you've been able to do that because you have been in the public eyes since you were a little kid. I have. Yeah. It's pretty incredible. And I want to know how you managed to do that. Incredible or creepy. No, it's not creepy. There's nothing creepy about you. You are, I don't want to embarrass you because I have a feeling you don't love compliments.

But there is something so extremely likable about you and affable about you. People are, are drawn to you and I'm sure you realize that. But I think part of the allure is that you are able to maintain like a grounded. You're very normal. I've met you before. I've seen you at events. And, and, and you kind of have a public life, but you do remain private. So I want to know how you manage that or, and if it's intentional or if it's just. It is intentional. I mean, I don't have like social media. You know, that's a good one. But I'm an actress. So people don't have to know everything about me. And actually, I think it's better if people don't know things about me. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely. Like, I think being an actress or an

actor, I don't want to know everything about them. Like, I want to not know about them so that I can believe that they're doing that thing. When I know everything about somebody and then they, they're like trying to be this person, I'm like, they're not that person. They're like, they make $8 million. And they're like the skincare person. They don't, they're going to pair. You know what I mean? Yes. I want to not, I want people to, when I watch a movie or something, I want to disappear into that story.

I don't want to be thinking of what I saw them just like selling me. Do you know what I'm trying to say? Absolutely. And so I, but also, I'm bored with myself. People will get bored of me. Of course. Like, I want to disappear and then come back when I have to and then disappear. Yes.

And my real life, you know, my best pals, they're. they're not famous. You know what I mean? We just all do our own thing. How does one meet non-famous people when you've spent your whole life being famous? That feels like a special website. Yeah, there's an online dating service for it. Real people.

Real people of Brooklyn. Realpeople.com. It's for famous people to meet real people. Famous people looking for non-famous friends. Looking for school teachers or accountant. That sort. Yeah. You know, they're like, I don't know, they're coders. One friend's a coder. One friend is a journalist. They all do all sorts of stuff. So I met some of them through school, like my kids' school. You know, you're like in first grade and you see the moms that are like also wearing vans and like not wearing like have Chanel bags. And you're like, oh, the vans mom. That's my people. Yeah. That looks like she hasn't brushed her teeth. yet. Right. I was like, who are you? You know? And at what point in your career do you think that

you realized how, like, important that was? Well, the creepy part is that I've been doing this since I was 15. I was a dancer. It is slightly creepy. Any child actor doing it, that world is creepy. I mean, thank God, like, I wasn't molested along the way, like, for real. Yeah. But... Were your parents stage parents? No. My parents knew nothing about it. anything. And in fact, when I had to sign the contract for the Disney overall deal... Your first non-disclosure agreement? For real. At like 15. My parents knew nothing about any of this. I just went with all my dance friends to the audition, happened to get it. And I remember signing the contract. And my dad, who was just like a regular, you know, whatever, neither my

parents went to college. And my dad was like... Because they sign you for. for like multiple years. Yeah. Granted, it wasn't even enough money to pay for my apartment while I was working on the show. Like, they just expect your parents to supplement it, I guess. But I remember my dad looking at it and going, wow, if she does this for like three years, she'll make more money than I do. And it was wild.

It was just like a wild thing. And it was just your initiative. You were so interested in pursuing this. I think I was just like I didn't grow up going, oh my God, I want to be an actress. I think it was just what my friends were doing, and it was just a natural progression, and then I just didn't leave. You know what I mean? I was like, well, what else am I going to do? I graduated school a little bit early because when you're on that show, we all had tutors.

So there were 19 of us teenagers, and you could do the schoolwork as quickly as you could get it done. And so you could graduate early if you wanted to. I mean, not like miles early. I'm not a genius, but like – I'll be the judge of that. Good. And so I got to graduate a little bit early. And then I was like, well, what am I going to do now?

And I was like, I guess I moved to L.A. Where everyone else is moving? And so like at 17 moved to L.A. By yourself? Slept on someone's couch. You didn't go to the Oakwoods? Thank God. That probably saved me from the molester vibe.

I think that actually there is a direct link between the Oakwoods and complete destruction of your life. A thousand percent. So, no, I slept on these two girls' couch. How did you meet these girls from? One was a producer's assistant on the Mickey Mouse Club, and her sister was a model, and I literally slept on the couch for months. And just like went to really lame auditions, like commercial auditions. I think I did a guest star on Boy Meets World.

Yes, I'm familiar. I had hair like shock-a-con hair. We know what kind of hair you had, sister. There's a very public record of your hair. You can't get away from your hair. No, I can't. I'm waiting for you to shave your head. It's fucking the air was out of this world.

It's amazing. It's funny that you always have your hair straight now. Well, it's a fro again. It's a fro again. In fact, I usually do like a keratin or something to kind of mellow it out. And the summer is like, it's going wild again. And I went wild. But it's cute.

This is the thing about you that I also love is you have such a little girl physicality about you. that you'll never be old. I don't feel old. No. Do you feel old? Well, I don't know. Are we the same age?

Are you 50? Yeah. I'm 51. I just turned 51. February. Oh, okay. I'm March. March.

Are you Pisces? I'm an Aries. Okay. Okay. I don't know anything about Aries. I know. I know. I know.

I love when people ask signs and then you tell them and they don't know about your son. I don't like, but I love it. I love it. I love it. I'm like the full moon and the equinox. I'm like, oh my gosh. I was just texting.

my friend, I was like, I read, I read about you. Okay, so this is about, they're like, what? Well, what about this last lunar eclipse that we had? Or was it a solar eclipse? Well, there were two. It was back to back. Are we talking about the, the lion's portal? Yes, the portal. When I, when I texted you about,

yes, yes, yes, yes. The portal. And I was like, I'm a Pisces, so it was all over my algorithm. It was like, oh my God, you have to step in, you have 72 hours to get into this window. And if you miss the window, if you're not conscious, of it. You're going to, you'll be stuck in your last 12 year cycle. And you're like, fuck,

I got to get, I got to lock in. And I was like, fuck, I got to get in this new 12 year cycle. And I was like, I'm conscious. I'm conscious. I walk in. And then I went to my orca with a bunch of girlfriends. You did. Yeah. So we were having like parallel experiences. And I was like, okay, listen, I want to like land this right. Yes. You know? And it was for, and it kept saying for Pisces, it was even more important this kind of portal. And then I stepped through. And I'm like, When is the portal closed? Yeah. I want to be done with this.

Right. And 72 hours went by and then there was another portal that I had to step through. And then before I knew it, there was another lunar eclipse. I know. You're like, what's going on? You're like, yeah. Yeah. So it was a lot of my time.

It was like a pyramid scheme. And I felt it happened on August 12th. I remember this. Yes. And I was like very, yeah. And then. One was on the eighth though, because it was like eight, eight. Yes.

Yes. Yes. It kept happening over and over again. Yeah. And I, I felt very positive about it. and I was just trying to interact with the sun and the moon as much as possible so that they know that I'm on their team. You know? And then we had this woman wake us up at 4.30 in the morning to go on this hike in myorka, Spain, to see the sunset.

You did that. That's awesome. I did. Because I was like, I want to, I'm setting in the right portal. Yeah. And I was putting my best foot forward. Yep. And we get up at 4.30 in the morning in the dark. I corralled like three of my girlfriends agreed to do it with me. We hike for an hour in the dark.

Then we scale a mountain. We don't know this. We thought it was a light walk. Yeah. And before you know what, you're holding on to like tree branches, hiking up, like. Scrambling. Yes, to the top of this promontory, this top of this mountain. Yeah.

And then it was too foggy to see the sun come up. So that was my experience. That's not fucking losers. That's actually amazing. I know. And the woman who took us, she's like, oh, Chelsea, she has this little accent. And I'm not very good at accent. So I will tell you where she's from and you can just pretend.

do this for us. Oh, yeah. See, Matthew has a great accent. You do fucking any accent. And so, yeah, so that was kind of a waste, I guess. Well, no, it wasn't a waste. You were with your pals. You were doing it. No, no, no, no. It wasn't a waste. I like the way you use the word pals. I never used that word. Yeah. They're my total pals. That's cute. Yep. Okay, so you moved to L.A. And then you did a bunch of stuff, right? Like, crappy stuff. And then Felicity happened. And then Felicity happened. And I felt like that was my first real job. Like, I was like, oh, this writing is good. This is what I, oh, this is, the biggest clue in for me was standing, you know, for network stuff, they make you test like 8,000 times with 3,000 girls.

And I was testing at the final test of the tests. And there were like six of us. And we all, you know, the way they do it in network TV, like there's a blonde girl, there's a brown-haired girl, there's a Asian girl, there's a Puerto Rican girl. And I was, whatever, the curly-haired girl. And we were all standing out there and someone was saying, oh, it's such good writing and the story. It's so sad. And I was like, uh-uh. I think it's funny.

Am I missing something? I was like, I just kind of zipped my lips and was like, yeah, sad. And I just remember thinking it was so funny. And it was funny. And anyway, but that was that was, J.J.'s writing. Yeah. And I think that's the first time I was like, oh, you're supposed to like pay attention to the good writing. That's what matters.

And I still do that. Like, I don't care. I mean, you should care about who's directing. But to me, I just wanted to read like a good book. I want it to be like that quality. What was the last good book you've read? Ooh. Ooh.

I read that Barber King Solver, that really big one. What was it called? The Demon Copper, Demon Copperhead. You know when I started that book and I never finished it? Oh, it's so good. But it's intense. It's really, when there's a trailer park involved. Yeah.

Maybe it's because I didn't grow up like that, but when there's trailer parks, I find that very, yeah. It's intense. I know. I'm going to read it. I have to because it's everyone says, how many people's favorite book? It's epic. It's not my favorite. It's just epic and it's such an interesting version of that story that a lot of people have tried to tell.

And it's a really beautiful, dense, poetic version of the opioid epidemic. and she really tells it right and with a lot of grace. But what was the last book I read? Fuck, I should know this. I've been bad about reading recently. I have a ton of great books to recommend you. What did you read? Correspondent is great.

That's the last one I read. That's it. And I loved it. And it was so full of dignity. It was so like sweet. Dignified. Dignified. That's a great word for it.

It felt old fashion in some way. And after all the shitstorm we've been dealing with, I just felt so lovely. It felt decent. Right. Whistler by Anne Patchett is a great one. I have not read that. And do you know Lily King?

No. Father of the Rain, writers and lovers. No. I have like seven books. You've got to get into her. You're going to like it. I promise. I need it.

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I Heart Radio. Everywhere you go. Always free. Download the free IHard Radio app today. Lisa, we should tell them about our new show. Oh my God, Lexi. We have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me.

I'm Lexi Youan. We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close. at heart. And I'm Lisa Di Giulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions, and at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all. I'm not going to get anyone fighting. That is wild. I learned that about you today. Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste is my business, and I've always got something to say. If men were just honest about this, there would be so much more peace in the world. We're going to talk about dating, relationships, beauty, getting older, and a little wiser.

We're best friends, but we don't always agree. Because you told us how accommodating you are. Obviously, I would do what I think I could do to fight the fight, but there's only so much fight I can fight. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Liar. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. I don't really care. I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcasts. The True Crime Comedy Podcasts all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Each week I bring on incredible guests like Conan O'Brien, Iowa Debris, Lamorne Morris, and Nicole Byer. Ooh, I scammed them. What? I can talk to you for a hour. You're a generational yapper like me.

That's why I had to make yapping a job. And the scams run the gamut. I'm talking about scams from the 1800s. the way up to today. I also warn you and keep you safe against scammers. Call your grandparents. Tell your parents to stop clicking on links, please. And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube. If there's a scam, I'm here to protect you. And I'm also here to laugh with you. So if you like fun, if you like comedy, and you like learning and protecting yourself from criminals, start listening to scam goddess on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

Hi, this is Kylie Breakman. Angel Geratana. Jeremy Colhain. Patrick McDonald. And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists Podcast. The Improvised Character Comedy Podcast where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. Join us for a panel of wellness influencers. What I try to do is faux journal.

I don't know. Have you guys heard of faux journaling? Yeah, it's reading. It's called reading. So we don't like to use that word anymore. Okay. A panel of New Yorker cartoonists. Have you guys done Terry Gross's Peloton class?

No! I've been dying too. I'm so sorry. I'm seeing a reading of Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes by Audra McDonald's at the Wonderland Bookstore on 14th. That's crazy. I went to the Wonderland Bookstore yesterday and I heard Nora Jones do a reading of Zero Dark 30. No way. You have to come to the last bookstore though.

Kim Cottrell is reading the guitar tabs of yesterday. A panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween. sometimes. Does the Pope dress up? He winks on Halloween. He gets right up next to the microphone. I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other. You never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween.

Listen to artists on artists on artists on artists on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hamza. And I'm Martin. And we're the hosts of Out of Character. It's a podcast. I know there's a lot of them going around. But why should you listen to ours?

Well, we're only the best podcast in the entire world. And we talk about pretty much everything under the sun. For example, music we're listening to, underground music, trending music, drama in music worlds. Yes, sometimes we even talk about just everyday mundane situations in our lives, like the cool Uber driver we just had. Or the food we just say, that is surprisingly delicious. Or we'll talk about the Med Gala and the looks that they wore. Are they awesome? Are they trendy?

Come find out. because our opinion matters, and so does yours. And this is a place where all of our minds can come together and connect. So what are you waiting for? Come connect with us. Listen out of character from Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Pods, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, what's up? I'm Tony Gonzalez. And I'm October Gonzalez. But you can call me Toby.

We want you to join us on our new podcast, No Safe Words with October and Tony Gonzalez. We get real about marriage, parenthood, sex, divorce, and all the nitty-gritty stuff we all think about, but just don't say out loud. I hate that job. You're probably just going to meet some rich guy and he's going to whisk you away and I'll never see you again. Would you say a D-less actor? D? I don't even know there's this thing as D. No, no, no. I mean like, I can't even get on the C list. Like, I'm not even average. I'm not even passing. I'm failing. Listen to no safe words with October and Tony Gonzalez, part of My Culture Podcast Network.

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a championship. And I think the answer is yes. You know, the best part about stuff, buts is parents have come up to me. Thank you. You helped my relationship with my daughter so much. It goes a lot further than you would think.

Every time you underestimate a Yukon player comes at your own peril. You know, when you talk about women sports, it's like Prego spaghetti sauce. It's in there. You know that commercial? Like, it's in there. You name it. It's in there.

Want to know what's really going on in the WNBA? We got you. Listen to good game with Sarah Spain on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, so back to Felicity.

During this time in your life, the sidebar. During this time in your life, I don't know if you remember coming into what was the deli called in the Pacific Palisades. I worked there. Terries. Teres. Teres.

I was a server there. I can't believe you were a server there. Was I rude to you? No, of course not. You like that little bitch. I would like to see you be rude to someone in a restaurant. I never served you. you or waited on you because my roommate whose name was Colleen was obsessed with you and you were dating. I think Scott Spean was. Of the time. Of course you were. I want to do him now. I saw him a couple of weeks ago and I was like, is he single? They're like, no. Oh, my God. He finally shacked up. But gosh, he's just the best. Oh, so cute. So cute. So you guys used to come in all the time and she had, she had, and JJ we used to come in all the time with Katie. And Katie. Yep. And they're three kids.

And they were, you guys were all great. Yes, including Gracie Abrams. Yes. But she had, she was, she was the only person allowed to go and wait on you because she loved you so sweet. And I think JJ gave her a part on your show at some point. I'm sure. I'm sure. That was really sweet. And now Terry's is no more.

I know. I know. I know. That's such a bummer. I know. I know. I guess you left just in time. Yeah.

So back to Felicity. So everything happens. Everything blows up for you, right? you're in a world probably that you didn't even maybe imagine. Thank God there was no, you know, like internet or like those like photos and that kind of shit because we all did such stupid stuff and like the kids now having their, well, they're taking pictures themselves, so I don't know. But, you know, we didn't have that amount of criticism or, you know, like people weren't

watching my every move. They weren't recording my every lame 20-year-old statement that I think must be really hard. But yes, it was a lot of public-facing things, and I definitely retreated after that. So I finished Felicity. I was like the only one of all those kids on that show who didn't buy a big house. I drove my pickup truck, and I took my money, and I rented a sick apartment in New York in the village and I brought like two giant boxes of books and I moved there because I had two really good girlfriends and it totally saved me. Oh see you're so cool. It totally saved me. And I just spent a whole year where I, no two years there where I didn't work. I was like I don't want to do this anymore. This is like taxing. I'm not like the person I want to be. I'm like

longing for friends and you know we were working. I think sometimes people boohoo like it's hard to be an I don't mean to do that. But, you know, I was 21 showing up places, like you show up for work at 5.30 in the morning. It's like an amount of discipline that I'm grateful for. But it's a lot. Like all those years of 20s, I was working like, you know, 16, 18 hours a day, five days a week for nine months a year. So then I just didn't want to do that anymore. I wanted to like be a kid. And did you, what did you do in your time, in your downtime for those two years? Oh my God. I. I went to every fucking birthday party. I got drunk with my girlfriends. We danced all night. I walked drunk home in the snow. I made out with strangers.

I fucking lived that life. And it was so fun. We ordered, it was the time of like when the Bachelorette first came out and we would order bad Chinese and like watch the Bachelorette. And it was just so, I remember my girlfriend, Lindsay, was renting. a room with these lovely older people on the Upper East Side, they would leave to Florida, and we would just all watch The Bachelorette in their apartment. It's just the best, like way up in the 90s in York, you know? It was just, it was so fun. And just, I got to do

those things that I missed for that decade. And it really, it let me, and it was actually Speedman, like, two years later, who was like, hey, you said you were going to take a year off work. It's been like a year and a half. And I was like, how? Has it? He's like, get back, you know, like figure it out. I was like, what are you going to do? And I was like, I don't know. I guess I have to make money at some point. And so then I slowly started inching my way back. And what did you think? Like, how did you approach that for yourself? Like, what were you thinking? Like, did you say I just, I'm looking for a project? Or did you say I want to do little things? Because I said there was a part that came up that was a little independent

movie that Mike Binder was doing. You probably know him from the world. Not. waitress. It was with Joan Allen and it was called the upside of anger. Kevin Kossner was in it and I was just one of the sisters and I was like, you know what, I can try that. Let me see what that feels like to just be not the one in every day all day. Let me just be one of the smaller parts and really watching Joan Allen help me because she's just such a class act. I was like, she's really good. She's normal. She's like, you know what I mean? She's not fucked up. And I was like, she's doing it okay. And so she was a really good example for me.

I think that's one of the things that I always recognize. And when you meet people that are able to balance both things and remain normal, is always something that stands out, somebody who's not affected, somebody who doesn't walk around with an entourage that doesn't have to have all these requirements that can just be a real person. That is always an example to me because I always want to be a real person. And you are. Yeah, totally. And it doesn't matter like, you know, how.

often your name is publicly mentioned or how, like, that stuff is like, I don't say it's not real because it's part of a reality, but being a public person, but also just to manage that and remaining sane. Like, you don't have to be crazy and you don't have to act like that it's something more than it is. Well, and also, for me, and it feels like for you, because you have this strong sense of being with the people, sort of, and like what it feels like, like, sounds really. people are going to be barfing in their mouth. But like the human experience, what it feels like to be a person, I feel like the people I gravitate towards enjoy life. Like there's a level of fame. Matthew and I always say, like, we're just the right kind of famous. Like people don't really care about us, but sometimes it helps getting you into like a good restaurant. Not all the time. Sometimes they're like, fuck off. But sometimes it helps you. There's a type of famous that like you can't walk down the street. eat anymore. And I like New York City. I like New York City. I like walking down the street and like seeing people and what are they up to and like, oh my God, helping somebody or, you know,

being in the world. I like being in the world. And I don't want to be removed from the world. I've been around people who have to be removed from the world. And that seems lonely. I'm not interested in that world. I think it is lonely. Definitely. And I'm not like, I'm a rarefied artist that I have to separate from the world. Like being the world is what I like. Yeah. I'm doing my job so I can fund pleasure in the world. And you also want to be a, you want to be a good friend and a good partner and a good parent and all the things that you want to be. And if you're so swept up in that isolationist kind of thing and you travel around with these like seven people or five people or whatever it is and you walk down the street with a whole security team, it tends to attract

quite a lot of attention. Totally. So it's like, it's almost like a self-fulfilling obviously when things get that out of control because it is easy to retreat. I've seen Mick Jagger on the street in London. If he can walk around, you can walk around. Anybody can walk around like that. Totally. So you do, Felicity, take some time off. You start doing some movies. We had Sarah Berlis on recently who just, who wrote Waitress. Yes. And I know you were in the movie Waitress, which is another experience in between before you went to the Americans, right? Yes. That came after that, I believe. Yes. Yes. I'm trying to remember time. Well, I'm terrible with time. But yes, waitress because I didn't have kids. Yes, Adrian Shelley who wrote and directed that film. Yes,

Americans came later. And Americans is where you met. You're not husband. Your lover. Your lover. My lover. Your lover. My lover. Sometimes lover. Mostly roommate. Well, you guys don't get to see each other very often. First, everybody. We see each other too fucking much. Everybody, well, I seem plenty. Everybody after he just won, congratulations, by the way. He just won two Emmys, which was making history. Two. Hemmys on the, Hemmys now, they're called. Hemmys, they're hemis for Hemingway. Two hemis on the same night for a comedy and a drama.

I know you're not on social media a lot, but you must have heard that everyone was really shipping, as the kids say, your relationship. And shipping is like... Standing, fanning out. They love it. They love it because you guys did all these double interviews together. People were loving it because you guys are very, very cute together, as you probably know. Well, you're funny, too.

So, but you're very funny together and people were just loving it. Okay, good. And I was like, oh gosh, I really hope he's not online because there's, after winning two awards and then finding out everybody finds that you're charming and funny to the whole world is a little too much of an intoxication, you know. Did you have a feeling that he was going to win both of those? I told, I think Widows Bay is just, I mean, it's like a home run, home run. I also feel like, first of all, he's so good in it, everyone's so good in it.

And I feel like it's just in today's world when things are so hard and everything feels so hard, it was such a departure. It's just like a way. There's so few things that are just have nothing to do with anything going on with he who must not be named. And just it was so fun and stupid and crazy. And they're all so good in it. And it just, it was like lightning in a bottle. And I just, I knew they were going to have a good night. Yeah.

I didn't know he would win for the other. other stuff, but like it was great. And he was just so nervous. I mean, we were all nervous. We were all nervous. But he, you know, it's a lot. It's a lot of pressure. And I, and we said to each other before he was the week up, just like, we're both nervous people. We're not in that world that much. We, we visit that world. And so we were both so nervous. And I looked at him like a few days before and I said, okay, well, can you articulate what you're most nervous about? And he's like, yeah, having to speak. And I said, totally.

And I said, take me off your plate. Like, you don't have to thank me. I know you love me. Take me off your plate. There's so many people you have to thank. And he won a few years ago for the Americans. And people still give him a hard time because he didn't say their name. Like, it's so crazy.

People get nuts. It's stupid. And it's also lame. Yeah. So I said, take me off your plate. Like, that's not what this is. I also don't. Let me just interrupt you.

and I'm sorry, but I interrupt people all the time. Go, do it. I just, like, I hate that for another reason. It's like, you don't get to decide what somebody's going to say when they make a speech or give a speech. You don't get to decide and ascribe what your responsibilities in that. There are so many more people to thank that worked on the actual production than your partner. Thank you. Like, you really have, I mean, obviously you have something to do with his level of, you know, whatever, competence, happiness, ability to work.

But that's not, you're not the prime. married person. Yeah. And whatever. I don't care if you want to thank the dog walker. You do whatever you want to do. Right. Right.

That's your minute. That's your 45 seconds. So I just said, take me off your plate. And we kind of said to each other, we don't have to thank each other. This is private, like to go back to your thing. This is for the business people. Like, thank whoever you want to think. I love that you also are not married.

Yeah. That's fun. I love it too. It is fun. That keeps things pumping. That's right. I just, I've had a big party, you know, like, I get to dress up all the time. Yeah.

And I think, I know for a lot of people, marriage is something different, but I and our pal, Gloria, like, people, you just have to be married to have a credit card. We can have credit cards now. Yes. I don't need my last name to go away. Yeah. Like, I'm, I'm cool. If you want to be here, be here. If you don't, that's cool, too.

Yeah, I like that. Yeah, it's just sexier to me. To me, I find being in a long-term relationship with someone sexier because no one's in for sure the whole time. You've got to show up. It's still auditioning process. That's right. It is. And, you know, P.S., we have kids.

So, like, that's forever. But, yeah, I don't, to me, it's antiquated. Well, you have three, I agree with you. You have, and it's patriarchal. Yeah. Big time. You have a 19-year-old? I have a 19-year-old.

God, that's so fucking. It is crazy. He's in college. I know. I just was reading your research. I'm like, when did our kids get to be 19? I know. I thought you still had like a seven-year-old. But you don't. Well, I don't. Well, you have a 10-year-old. You're talking about Matthew as a seven-year-old. What is it like to have kids like that are 19-year-old and a 10-year-old? Like, what is that? We have 19, we have 14, and we have 10. Yeah. That age difference, though, like, I'm very curious how you think of yourself, like, you know, I mean, you probably, not probably, you learn so much when you become a mother, right?

And then you do it at a different phase in your life and you probably know so much more than you did the first time. Like, what can you say about that? I mean, you do know so much more, but like just when you think you have a down, someone new comes and you're like, what are you? What? This is not, this was harder than the last. What is this? So they all come out different and they are completely their own. own people and they're all hard and easy in their own ways. I do think it gets easier as a parent,

but then the kid is different and the kid's harder. What is your favorite thing about parenting, like being a mom, not parenting, because that doesn't sound sexy. Yeah, exactly. There's this amazing book that came out a few years ago that one of my girlfriends, who we always share books, sent me, it's called Parenting, All Joy and No Fun. That's totally the truth. It's joy. Joy is like, you're like, it was hard, but I feel proud of myself for doing it. You know what I mean? I love them all. They're awesome. What do I love about it? I love when they just like, they crack me up, I guess. There are certain things they do as like their own individual person. And I'm like, that was funny. You know what I mean? Or like, oh, you're funny. Or when they're especially kind, like, you know, when they do something and you're like, okay, they'll be all right. Right. They were kind and I didn't force them to be. Right. Is there something that you learned about yourself that stands out as like becoming a parent? Yeah. I mean, it's really impossible to be selfish.

And that's a good thing for anyone to learn. Like it's, you know, there are so many times a day. I are like, fuck. I just want to do it. I want to. fucking do. Totally. And that's just the way it goes. You know, we actually, we just got a dog, which is the best. What kind of dog? Just like a rescue mutt, but I just love him so.

I know. A house is not a home without a dog in my opinion. I just, like, I waited so long and I was on this like rescue for so long, for years. Just like waiting, biting my time. And we were traveling. I was like, it's not the right time. It's not the right time. Is this your first dog?

Kind of. Well, I mean, I grew up with dogs, but I haven't had one as an adult. I've had pets. like cats and things, but I haven't had a family dog as an adult. And we have a mountain family that we take care of banjo when they're away. You have a mountain family? Well, you know, like a family that you go upstate with all the time. We call them our mountain family.

And so when the mountain family goes away, we get to take banjo, who we adore. And so we kind of had a dog. But now we have our own dog. And I just didn't realize how nice it was. Oh, dogs are the best. I just got another dog, too. I added to my group. I have two.

One is Doug, and then his little sister, who's at training camp to learn how to go to the bathroom in the right place, is named Denise. So Doug and Denise. My last two dogs were named Bert and Bernice. Now I have a Doug and Denise. Oh, my God. It's so good. My girlfriend had a cat named Brian, which I also think is really great. I like that.

Brian? I just had Gretchen Whitmer in here before you left, the governor of Michigan. She is so rad. Yeah, she is. Her skin is fucking incredible. I was staring at her skin the whole time. Was she, like, lasering? I don't know.

I didn't get to that point because, you know, she's a politician. So they don't talk about that shit. She is so cool. She is cool. She's like, and she has a dog named Doug too. Doug and what was the other, her other dog's name? Kevin. Kevin.

I mean, those are just classic. Classic. Oh my God. The music you love. Your favorite radio stations. Everywhere you go. The podcasts everyone's talking about. All in one place.

And it's. Free. Yuwanu, we're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa Di Giulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions, and at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all. I'm not going to get anywhere fighting. That is wild. I learned that about you today. Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste is my business, and I've always got something to say. If men were just honest about this, there would be so much more peace in the world.

We're going to talk about dating, relationships, beauty, getting older, and a little wiser. We're best friends, but we don't always agree. Because you told us how accommodating you are. Obviously, I would do what I think I could do to fight the fight, but there's only so much fight I can fight. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me.

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What I try to do is faux journal. I don't know. Have you guys heard of faux journaling? Yeah. It's reading. It's called reading. So we don't like to use that word anymore. Okay.

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No way. You have to come to the last bookstore though. Kim Cottrell is reading the guitar tabs of yesterday. A panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween. sometimes. Does the Pope dress up? He winks on Halloween. He gets right up next to the microphone.

I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other. You never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Listen to artists on artists on artists on artists on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hamza. And I'm Martin. And we're the hosts of Out of Character. It's a podcast.

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We get real about marriage, parenthood, sex, divorce, and all the nitty-gritty stuff we all think about, but just don't say out loud. I hate that job. You're probably just gonna meet with some rich guy and he's gonna whisk you away, and I'll never see you again. Oh. Well, this is awkward.

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We got you. Listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, so you have three kids. Now you have a new dog. Now, you have Matthew. And we have Matthew. Now, Matthew, and I'm assuming Matthew is very funny. He is very funny.

I heard his, what did I hear of him? The Daily. He was on the Daily right before the award shows. I don't heard that. He's very funny. His accent is very, I mean, Welsh accent, what do you think about a Welsh accent? It's so nice, yeah. Sexy?

And it's, you know, it's a British accent, but it's like a softer. Well, first of all, Welsh, like any accent, there's a million. Like, he has cousins from the north from like Snodonia that have a wildly different accent than his. He's from Cardiff, which is like the big town in Wales. And both his teachers are educators. So he has kind of, you know, like a proper Welsh accent. But it's softer than English. And it's more like regional's not a nice word.

What's an attractive word for regional? Like it's just more like earthy. It's more earthy. Okay. Than like a clipped English accent. And what and the vibe, you obviously guys that both have a similar sense of humor and you make each other laugh a lot. He does make me laugh. You can see that.

Yeah. Is there something that you learned about him? him when he became a father that you didn't know? Of all of our friends, he's the most mom-dad. Like, it's kind of this incredible thing because Sam, who's our littlest person, is my third kid. And Sam is Matthew's first kid. I mean, you know, he's a father to the big kids too, very much so. But, you know, Sam is his first.

So Sam's my third. So by the time, like the third rolls around, you're like, oh, Oh, shit. You have baseball. Okay, well, I don't know. Grab your, like, crocs and let's go. And Matthew's like, pack the bag. He has snacks for the whole team. He has a first aid kit. And he shows up, like, seriously. I'm like, oh, that sounds like a lot of work. Like, are you really going to? He's like, yeah, this is, you know, because this is a kid. It's like the third kid gets the eraser stuck in their nose and you don't take them to the hospital. I'm like, you're fine. My sister did that with her three kids. The first one who stuck their eraser in their nose, she was like at the ER.

The second one, she went to the doctor. The third one, she's like, it'll be cut. It'll fall out on Monday. It'll fall out. You'll be fine. And if it's not out. You strike me as someone who is very good friends with all of your exes. Is that true?

I am pretty good friends with them. I mean, because you broke up with them. Well, if they're cool. Yeah. Are you? I mean, after time has gone by. Yeah. Usually it's, I mean, in my experience, I've had some acrimonious breakups where it's too

sensitive to talk. Yeah. Or where one person is really. upset and it needs some chill time. But after enough time goes by, then all bets are off and you can, you know, participate again. Like with Speedman, I love seeing him. I mean, we were like babies, too. But he was always a better friend than he was a boyfriend. And that's a great way to describe a lot of men. Because I have a lot of great guy friends that are terrible at being in relationships.

I also am not a huge fan of being in a heavy relationship. I don't think anybody. I don't think anyone is. I mean, well, a few people are. Well, some people are. I mean, you're in a heavy relationship and you like it, you know? We're in a heavy relationship, but I have this gift. We have this gift of being a part a lot.

And that is the way to do it. He's getting ready to go to the UK for five months. Oh, no. I mean, he comes back around occasionally. But, like, you know, as hard as it is, the house is mine. The house is mine. The bed is mine. The rules are mine.

In my rules, everyone goes to motherfucking sleep at 9 p.m. Like, it's lights out. Like, I'm like, good night, everybody. If you need mom, I'm asleep. And, you know, it's my rules. Everything's really clean. Everything's organized. You know, it's probably more boring without him.

But it's my rules. And then he comes back and everyone's so excited and we're excited. You know, being apart is nice. I know. It really is saved so many. people. Yeah. It's, it's, yeah. And what kind of like, do you guys have any sort of like rules around that, how long you're away when you go back? Like, will you go over there to visit him? Of course. Yeah. I mean, in an ideal world, I think, especially in our creepy world where you're like,

this is such a weird business where you're like making out with, it's such a weird, I mean, like, what a weird job. If I can find something that pays me more, I'll do it. ideally it would be great to see each other every two weeks, which probably not going to happen this one. And as we've gotten older, we care about it less and less because we're like, even having sex with someone new sounds like a lot of work. Yeah, exactly. For everyone's higher.

I'm not. If you have a partner, all my friends who are married or divorced or married, if they're like, if this doesn't work out or something happens to my husband, I'm not looking for anything else to like follow this. That's all you need. Yeah. You get to a certain age, you're like, is this really necessary? I want to talk about Diplomat Season 4 because that's coming up.

And I also think this is a good idea to pitch to you. Okay, pitch. I think when you win your next award, you should thank all of your ex-boyfriends without thanking your current partner. That's a good idea. I think that's a good trend to set. You know what I mean? I just want to thank the men in my life who really helped me. And just move on from there and your ex-husband and just get to everyone besides Matthew, because that'll really get people really.

That would be so good. That would be a really good bit. Yeah. I think it's worth considering seriously. Maybe you'll help me write it. The show, the devilma, first of all, the Americans was, we didn't give it enough to credit or justice, time, and respect because that show was fucking awesome. It was fucking. What you guys did on that show was so awesome.

It was so much fun it looked like. It was so fun. And also we were like falling in love and staying up all night and like having sex all the time and just like wearing disguises. Like I'm fucking crazy wigs. Like wearing pearls, when did you ever worn pearls? And like fucking in trailers and fucking everywhere. I mean, it was insanity. It was so fun and sneaky and sexy and so good.

Who made the first move with the two of you? Ooh, that's a good question. You know, I think I did. I love that. Yeah. Nice. Nice. Okay, so you go to the Americans.

You have an incredible success with that. How did you decide to end that show? We didn't decide. They did. The writers did. Yeah. And it was such an epic ending. Oh, it was so great.

It's a great ending. Perfection. Yeah. Chef's kiss, everyone. Chef's kiss in case you're not watching this. Sorry, chef's kiss. And you can only hear it. And then how did you come across the diplomat? Like, who brought it to you?

It's such a fucking perfect role for you. I love how unkempt you are. Oh, I love it so much. And it's so beautiful. Like, you're so beautifully you in this powerful position. Like, the way that you exhibit this character or the way that you play this character is so relatable in such an unrelatable situation? So I took a long break after the Americans

because I had a great run and I needed to just like, my whole thing is you work really hard, the output is so much, and then you go away and you fill back up. Like you have a recharge. You fill back up. You read books. You get life experience and then you get ready for something else. And I wasn't really looking for something.

And Deborah Kahn, who is our showrunner, creator, writer, got sent to me. And I was like, oh, shit, this is good. And this is so funny and so smart. And it totally did not work for my life. Matthew was working in L.A. on Perry Mason. I thought you were going to say pari menopause. I'm like, oh, has he figured anything out yet? Not yet.

But we're working on it. We're giving them all the estrogen we can. Fill them up. Fill her up. And he, that was our deal. Like, you go away, I stay home, take care of the kids. You go away, I stay, you know. And this came up.

And it not only shot the same time he was completing this big job, it shot in London. And I was like, but I want to do it. And he was like, this doesn't work. And I remember, I was like, yeah, right, it doesn't work. And we really talked about it. I kept circling back. And I remember I took myself, I do this like solo. trip by myself every year in Big Sur and I just, I go to that like super romantic place by myself.

And I like walk by myself and it's just so great. How many days do you do that for? I do it like for three days. It's nice. It's so nice. That's cute. And I eat like great food and drink tons of wine and just like get massages and breathe in the nature. Like whatever.

And everyone's like having romantic like evenings and I'm just there with my book. Yes. Yes. I'm going to send you so many book. Okay. I love with books. Okay. I'm in love with books.

Okay. Me too. It's the best. So I'm walking up like those hills and I'm like, I want to do this job. And so I was like, I want to do it. And we were like, this is going to be really hard. And he kept going, this is going to be really hard. And I said, yep, it is.

But I'm doing it. And I am so thankful. And yeah, there were a hairy two months where the kids were still in school and it was like my mom had to come and blah, blah, blah. But I love that job so much. The thing that's good about Deborah Khan as well as being this incredible writer, it's about all these things I care about the right kind of politics and, you know, being of service to your country and caring about the world and also being funny and self-deprecating and all the things I love and the messy relationships. But Deborah Khan, it's not enough anymore to be a leader where you're just excellent at what you do. I think people have to fucking start taking care of each other.

And Deborah is such a good example of that. She is our age. I watch her. She's trained these younger writers who are under her. She brings them up. So many of them are now staff writers. They have credits. They have Emmy nominations.

She like raises them up and she lets them succeed. And we need more of that. I'm so tired of these people who are like, won't let go of power. We need new people. And we, it's our job to like raise. those new people and allow them to succeed. And she does that so gracefully. That being said, she's just so funny. She's so, like, has such a raunchy, fun, naughty sense of humor. And she's strangely in this time hopeful. Like she, even for marriage and our country, and

it's sort of like acerbic and combative at times, but ultimately, like she wants everyone to win. And she wants a marriage to win. And she wants, like, even more than me. You know, she's really good like that. And she's just, it's such a sweet spot. I love this job so much. Season four of The Diplomat premieres next week. So is there anything you can tell us?

If not, you don't have to. But if there's anything, any little crumbs you can feed us? It's, oh, God. It just continues. Look at your cute little feet. What size are those? Six. Oh, what a little baby you are.

Oh, my God. They're so cute. Oh, six. They're like snackable. They're snackable. My 10-year-old has the same size feet as me. Oh, that's great. Are those his shoes? No, they're not. And my dog is eaten part of them. And I know my 14-year-old already, her feet are big. She's taller than me and her feet are bigger.

And I just am like, thank God my shoes are safe. She will never be able to steal them from me. No, it's just, it continues. It's so good. Where it ends, I can't. can't say, but where it ends is so appropriate for right now. Well, you're not, oh, okay, copy that. I was about to say you're not giving us any information. I know, I know. I'm sorry.

I can't. That's okay. That's okay. We're not here to pump you for things that you can't talk about. Okay, great. The music you love. I heart radio. Your favorite radio stations.

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Grab the free app. IHart Radio. Everywhere you go. Always free. Download the free IHard Radio app today. Lisa? We should tell them about our new show. Oh my God, Lexi.

We have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi Yuwano. We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa Di Giulio, the old one. Which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions, and at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all. I'm not going to get anyone fighting. That is wild.

I learned that about you today. Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste is my business, and I've always got something to say. If men were just honest about this, there would be so much more peace in the world. We're going to talk about dating, relationships, beauty, getting older, and a little wiser. We're best friends, but we don't always agree. Because you told us how accommodating you are. Obviously, I would do what I think I could do to fight the fight, but there's only so much fight I can fight.

Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Liar. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I don't really care.

I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast. The True Crime Comedy Podcast All about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Each week I bring on incredible guests like Conan O'Brien, Iowa Debris, Lamorne Morris, and Nicole Byer. Ooh, I scammed them.

What? I can talk to you for an hour. You're a generational yapper like me. That's why I had to make yapping a job. And the scams run the gamut. I'm talking about scams from the 1800s all the way up to today. I also warn you and keep you safe against scammers. Call your grandparents.

Tell your parents to stop clicking on links, please. And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube. If there's a scam, I'm here to protect you. And I'm also here to laugh with you. So if you like fun, if you like comedy and you like learning and protecting yourself from criminals, start listening to Scam Goddess on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, this is Kylie Breakman. Angel Geratana.

Jeremy Colhane, Patrick McDonald. And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists. on artists on artist podcast. The Improvised Character Comedy Podcast where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. Join us for a panel of wellness influencers. What I try to do is faux journal.

I don't know. Have you guys heard of faux journaling? Yeah, it's reading. It's called reading. So we don't like to use that word anymore. Okay. A panel of New Yorker cartoonists. Have you guys done Terry Gross's Peloton class?

No! I've been dying too. I'm so sorry. I'm seeing a, uh, a reading of Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes by Audra McDonald's at the Wonderland Bookstore on 14th. That's crazy. I went to the Wonderland Bookstore yesterday, and I heard Nora Jones do a reading of Zero Dark 30. No way.

You have to come to the last bookstore, though. Kim Cottrell is reading the guitar tabs of yesterday. A panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween sometimes. Does the Pope dress up? He winks on Halloween. He gets right up next to the microphone. I hear you can almost hear.

the eyelashes hit each other. You never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Listen to artists on artists on artists on artists on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hamza. And I'm Martin.

And we're the hosts of Out of Character. It's a podcast. I know there's a lot of them going around. But why should you listen to ours? Well, we're only the best podcast in the entire world. And we talk about pretty much everything under the sun. For example, music we're listening to, underground music, trending music, drama in music worlds.

Yes, sometimes we even talk about just everyday mundane situations in our lives, like the cool Uber driver we just had. Or the food we just say that is surprisingly delicious. Or we'll talk about the Med Gala and the looks that they wore. Are they awesome? Are they trendy? Come find out. Because our opinion matters. And so does yours.

And this is a place where all of our minds can come together and connect. So what are you waiting for? come connect with us. Listen out of character from Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Pods, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, what's up? I'm Tony Gonzalez. And I'm October Gonzalez, but you can call me Toby. We want you to join us on our new podcast, No Safe Words with October and Tony Gonzalez. We get real about marriage, parenthood, sex, divorce, and all the nitty-gritty stuff we all think about, but just don't say out loud. I hate that job. You're probably just going to meet with some rich guy and he's going to whisk you away

and I'll never see you again. Well, this is awkward. Would you say a D-less actor? D? I don't even know. There's such thing as D. No, no, no. I mean, like...

I can't even get on the C-list. Like, I'm not even average. I'm not even passing. I'm failing. Listen to no safe words with October and Tony Gonzalez, part of My Culture Podcast Network. Available on the IHeart Radio app. Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast.

The WNBA playoffs are here. And while the games will be spread across seven different channels and streaming services, you only need one podcast to keep up to date on all the action. Good Game with Sarah Spain is the only daily podcast for all your WNBA needs. Be the smartest fan at the sports bar by learning all the W stories, stakes, stats, and stars, and hear from top players and coaches about their pregame routines, the pressure of playoff basketball, and the moments that define legacies. Can we actually compete for a championship?

And I think the answer is yes. You know, the best part of our stuff is is parents have come up to me. thank you you. You helped my relationship with my daughter so much. It goes a lot further than you would think. Every time you underestimate a Yukon player comes at your own peril. You know, when you talk about women sports, it's like Prego spaghetti sauce. It's in there.

You know that commercial. Like, it's in there. You name it. It's in there. Want to know what's really going on in the WNBA? We got you. Listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We only have 10 minutes left.

We usually take callers. I'm sorry. Yeah. No, no, no. No, no. You guys are wrong and apologize. Everything's fine. Do you want to take, we'll take one call before we close out?

Yes. I give advice on this podcast. I love it. Yes. I'm assuming you've been to therapy. Yes, of course I have. We just dole out what we've learned. I love it.

I love this. I love it. Real people, real problems. I'm going to go with the juicier of the two here. Yes, please. We have Kelly calling in and she says, dear Chelsea. I've been dating my partner for two years. It's been a true love affair with a lot of toxic fighting, mostly around one topic,

non-monogamy. When we first started dating, we were open. We both had multiple other partners. We fell in love, and two years ago, it became apparent that it would be easier to be monogamous, mostly because I found his reactions to my escapades to be less than positive, which led me to be less honest about them and caused a cycle of mistrust and toxic fighting that we can't seem to get out of. I remain close with many of my other partners, and yes, there have been what now amounts to multiple incidents of cheating, me going outside our monogamous arrangement. Our cycle is as follows. I withhold information or cheat. He gets very angry and expresses himself with immature insults and aggression. Then we make up and go to town on each other for days. We're really rocking the whole codependent, dysfunctional attachment thing and annoying all of our closest friends with the constant drama. We're solid when it comes to other types of conflict. We constantly break up and get back together. But there is a reason we keep doing this to each other. The sex is unreal. We're chemically bonded to each other's scent. Our chemistry is unparalleled. and it's proved too hard to give up for both of us.

We've recently stumbled upon an idea, and I want to know what you think about this. The idea is, I'll be his sub. He can punish me for transgressions. We discussed it, set rules and expectations, safe words, etc. I'll do whatever he wants, be more flexible in giving to his sexual impulses, and he'll have the ability to set expectations within our guidelines and punishments when I make mistakes or cheat. Do you think a dynamic like this can help us solve our trust issues, or at least help?

And whether or not we do this compromise, can a toxic relationship be fixed? Thanks, Kelly. Hi. Hi, Kelly. This is our special guest, Carrie Russell, is with us today. Hello, nice to meet you. Did I say Kelly Russell? Carrey Russell. Did you say Kelly and Carrie? Well, she's Kelly. She's Kelly now. Wow, that's quite a dynamic. That was quite a dynamic. Yeah, I wanted to get your attention, A, and B is totally true. It's recent. It's a reason. come to my attention that this is like a backwards-ass way to look at like a BDSM dynamic because you have to have like a psychological safety burst like big fucking duh so there's that but let me ask you a

question you open your relationship up then you closed it but now you're cheat is there a world where you can just open back up your relationship so you're not cheating yeah so that's basically my intention I think that I have always wanted to be in an open dynamic because I have a very like I have a deep aversion to being like enmeshed. Like I don't I don't want to be in that like couple dynamic where you like get, you know, roommate syndrome and and the, you know, the passion falls apart. I don't want that dynamic, right? I was, I did that for 22 years. I'm done doing that. Okay.

Okay. Copy that, sister. We hear you. Right? And so I have like this. fierce independence that I'm trying to like maintain and the only way that I can do it. Like we so easily get enmeshed and I think, you know, I give that to him, but it's mixed signals, right? Like I don't, I do fall into it with him, but I don't actually want it. Like, I want my independence. And the way that

that comes through is that that that's how I want to, I want to have, you know, multiple relationships with multiple people so that I can keep that. He's not into that. He's not going to do that. Or is he going to do that? I mean, he's totally by. So he's into it. He just wants to have, like, create a sense of security in the relationship first. Right. So.

Right. Okay. So did you guys, do you guys have a therapist that you work with or talk to? Not yet. We're working on that. Yeah. Okay. You need to get, as much as I would love to be the answer to all of your problems, you need a third party since you guys love third parties.

You know what I mean? It's very natural. you got to get somebody a therapist that is well versed in this dialogue and being in an open relationship, which is all great. It's great that you're honest about your desires and it's great that you're honest about where you are because there's really nothing worse than somebody who's lying. Like we don't have time for that anymore. We're fucking women and we're sick of it. So everyone just needs to be up front. So I love that you're being honest with yourself and now with your partner and trying to set a new dynamic and set new boundaries. But you really need

because there's a manipulation that I think comes along with this kinds of things since you guys are getting out of a toxic space I really think it would be the most healthy way to go about it is to get a third party involved so you can sit down

and you make very clear like you know boundaries right about what you want and what's going to be too far even if you've done that with each other I kind of go just because you came out of a very toxic

part of your relationship where there were transgressions and lies and stuff like that, I think it's just great to lay it all on the table and have a period of like not reconciliation, but like understanding that you're both going to really move forward in this new version with honesty, with integrity and respect for each other. Totally. Okay. And I know you may think you've accomplished that, but I'm telling you haven't unless you have a third party involved because then you're accountable to somebody more than yourself and to

each other. And I think that's important for what you're talking about. So you think that toxic dynamics, like in your experience, both of your experience, when you look around at your girlfriends and your friends, do you see if people get in, like, if there's, you know, real intense dynamics right from the get-go and those dynamics have a lot of toxic fighting and getting, fighting, and then getting back together and repair and fighting and getting back together and repair, do you see that turning out for any of the people in your life? Like, have you seen that? Have you seen that? And then, you've been, actually like turn around? Can you turn around a dynamic like that? Well, it might be the way you're fighting too. There might be tools you could learn,

which is to what Chelsea is saying. But, you know, I think bottom line, you know what you know. If your gut is saying it's toxic, it's probably toxic. You know what? As great as the sex is, there's someone else that has great sex too. Like someone's out there. If it feels bad, it probably feels bad. But I have a feeling to her, to you, it might feel a little bit good. Yeah. Do you like the toxicity? Is there a part of you, any part of you that likes the drama? Right. And that is what my therapist would say. It's like you clearly like the conflict. Because you keep going back. Right. Right. So you haven't learned what you need to learn yet. Yeah. So, but I also think, like, I don't think anything is said and done. You can accomplish what you want to accomplish. If you want to be in a non-toxic open relationship, you can do that. Absolutely. But you need help to do that with your partner, not just on your own. Like, you need help to do that. You can overcome the toxicity. It doesn't matter

if we know people that have or not. Yeah. This is you. You know what I mean? Totally. So, like, if you really want and have the intention and you want to have a non-toxic relationship with all of these understandings, then you can, you just have to go about it the right way. And you making up the guidelines and him making up the guidelines, that's not always just the best way. It's always good to have somebody who's not involved in your life give advice to you and help you create tools for when you do fight and when this does happen again, because it most likely will, that you have the tools and they're accessible to you. And just to gain, it's great that you have your own therapist, but it's also just great to gain insight into

another person and understand what triggers them and how you can avoid doing that and how, and it's just, why not get something, you know, have somebody else involved in the whole process. So that's my recommendation. I love that you're living out loud and doing whatever the fuck you want. It's great. But there's no reason to have toxicity. No. No, no, no. I agree. It's something I could use a little less of in my life for sure. Yeah. So that's actually very sound advice. Thank you. Oh, great. I'm so glad you called in. Thank you. Yeah. Will you let us know how it goes, Kelly? I would be delighted to give you enough to you later. Okay. I love it. Thanks so much. to unpack. It was a lot. That was complex. It was complex and also, yeah, I mean, there's a lot going on. Yeah. It's a whole new world. Before we wrap this up, can you think of the worst advice you've ever been given? Or a piece of advice that you've been given that was terrible. That was terrible. That was terrible. I mean, like, I'm going to say one terrible and one good piece. The Terrible was

like one of the last back in the, well, we're still in it. I was going to say back when they were making all the superhero movies, but guess what, we still are. So, but I was still living in L.A. didn't have kids and they were like, the note from the casting person on this screen test is, she has

to wear very high heels and a very, very, very padded bra. No, she really, she has to wear that because she's not going to get the part. Otherwise, I was like, I got it with the, like, the four varies. What the heck. But a good piece of advice, or like something that I heard someone say. Did you do, but did you take the bad advice? Yeah. Yeah. And did you get the role? No. No, I didn't. They were like, we're not looking for 13-year-old boy bodies. We want like

Megan Fox. They probably got it. I don't know. And then I was with a good piece of advice or a comment that I love that I think about all the time, especially at this age. I have this friend of mine who's a little older than us, Harry, and we were having dinner one time and he said, you know, we were talking about complications in life or whatever, and he said, you know, I'm just at this age, and I was much younger when he said this to me, but I really remembered it. He said, I'm just trying to be my own provocateur. Like, I want to be the one who's like demanding things of myself or stirring something up or questioning something. I want to be my own provocateur.

And I remember going, what is he talking? And now I totally get it. I want to be like answering to myself. I want to, what do I want out of this? Like, I don't want to be reactive to somebody else. I want to, I want to be the person I'm reacting to. Yeah. And creating my world and everything.

Great. I love that. That's great. That's something to think on. That's something to chomp on. Chompon. Because that can, like, turn into lots of different things in your life. Yeah.

Yeah. Thank you, Carrie. Thank you what happened. This is really cool. That was so nice. Thank you. Diplomat Season 4 is out in one week, people. Get your groove on.

Get your groove on. If you want advice from Chelsea, write in to Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail.com. Dear Chelsea is a production of IHeartMedia. Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler and find Catherine on Instagram and TikTok at Eggs on a Plain. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law.

Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets to see Chelsea Live at Chelseahandler.com. Lisa, tell them about our new show. We have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi Youanu. We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa Di Giulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions, and at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all. Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste, is my business. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcasts. The True Crime Comedy Podcasts all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Each week, I bring on an amazing guest. Ooh, I scammed them. What? I can talk to you for an hour. You're a generational yapper, like me. That's why I had to make yapping a job. And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube. Start listening to Scam Goddess on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

Scam Goddess! Hi, this is Kylie Breakman. Angel Geratana. Jeremy Colhane. Patrick McDonald. And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists Podcast. The Improvised Character Comedy Podcast where each week a new panel of artists

discuss their craft. Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween sometimes. Does the Pope dress He winks on Halloween. He gets right up next to the microphone. I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other. You never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween.

Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hamza and I'm Martin. And we're the hosts of Out of Character. The funniest podcast in the entire world. The Russian Queen. I like that. good way to promote ourselves. We are two funny guys having fun enjoying ourselves, and we just know

how to have fun, unlike anyone else. If you guys like fun conversations, hot takes, what else? Not too hot, just kind of lukewarm, just to get your mind thinking a little bit. Listen out of character on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever we get your podcast. In February of 2024, celebrated illustrator and children's book author Patra Mathers and her husband Michael mailed letters to dozens of friends and family members to let them know they had died by suicide. Dear honies, this is goodbye. By the time you get to Shletter

both Petra and I will be dead, next stop, Wonderland. Why did they do it? And what did it do to the people they left behind? Listen to Death of an Artist on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You broke me. You do not deserve happiness.

I'm Andrea Gunning. On this season of betrayal, Carl thought he was living a normal drama-free life until the messages started. Someone's not going to make it out of this alive. Every piece of evidence pointed to the wrong guy. He was not going to stop unless we stopped him. Listen to Betrayal Season 6 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Black Lit.

October is Black Fiction Month, and the Black Lit podcast explores the minds of Sebo Campbell. How speculative fiction works as you enter into a story with a question. Nisi Shaw. What kind of world would it be if these people had not perished? And Octavia Butler. In science fiction and fantasy, I can do absolutely anything. As they pose the question, what if? Listen to Black Lit on the Black Effect Podcast Network on Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.