Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - The Light of a Narcissist with Jenny Mollen

Episode Date: June 16, 2022

Chelsea is joined by writer Jenny Mollen to discuss owning your story, surviving the elite world of NYC momfluencers, and how to get your kid to stop shouting about farts in a restaurant. Then: A photographer loses her passion after a change of scenery.  A wife going through IVF worries a lack of sex will alienate her husband.  And an Aussie struggles to find her voice after her mom marries her ex. * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Executive Producer Nick Stumpf Produced by Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We'll see you next time.

bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay. Hi. Hello, Chelsea. Hi, how are you? I'm good. It's, it's a bright, beautiful day today here in Los Angeles. Yeah. I had a good recovery from my week of shows. I slept for 13 hours from

Sunday to Monday. And then Monday I went to bed at nine with Joe. I like when he goes to sleep early too. And we just, I just catch my sleep during the week. You know, I actually, this is going to sound so la but i had a meeting with a shaman a couple of weeks ago oh i love a shaman yes and as he he did basically like a body scan and pulled cards like these animal cards for each part of my body and one thing he told me was he asked when i'm sleeping he told me it's kind of later in the night to you know maybe a little later in the morning than maybe like someone with kids or something. But he told me I need to start going to bed at 9 p.m. and waking up at 5 or 6. He said the time between 9 and midnight is when your body is in healing mode. So he said

you're not allowing your body to heal from midnight on. It's like preparing for the next day. Yeah. So it kind of blew my mind a little bit. I'm like, maybe I should try this. I love going to bed at 9 o'clock. I mean, nothing gives me more pleasure than knowing because then I'm so energized in the morning and I'm so clear I love it I love sleep I can't tell you how much I love sleep I just love it are you a good sleeper yeah I mean I wake up a lot so that's annoying but if I don't drink I can have a really good night's sleep I mean I pee I have to pee like twice a night so that's that's annoying I'm sure that will only get worse as time goes on but Joe doesn't get up to pee in the middle of the night I envy him for that my husband will drink like a liter of water right before bed

And then he he has to get up. Well, there's a reason for that. Yeah. Hello. We understand why. He just gets very thirsty. He's very thirsty. Well, at least. Yeah. Well, I guess he's thirsty while he's sleeping, which is an unusual phenomenon. Right. I have shows coming up tomorrow night. I am in Springfield, Massachusetts. That's June 17th and June 18th. I'm in Windsor, Ontario, at Caesars Windsor, the Coliseum. and I'm coming to Vancouver and Calgary and Honolulu and Kahulu, Hawaii. That's on Maui. Honolulu and Maui. I will be there July 1st and July 3rd and I will have my lover with me there. So I know how much Hawaiians love that. Excellent. I do have an update for us, Chelsea.

What is it? What is it? This is from, do you remember the woman who called in who her daughter heard her having sex and was very upset. Well, the daughter wrote in. I'm very excited about it. The subject line is, 20-year-old daughter overhearing mother having sex. I am the daughter. Dear Chelsea, she says, just listen to the episode, Comics Dating Comics, in which I was featured in a story my mother, quote, Jenny, wrote in. I love this. I love this. This is the story of my life, is talking about someone who I don't think is ever going to listen to, the platform I'm on,

And finding out within 30 seconds. Yes. She said, I'm not looking for any sort of public update, but I thought I'd fill you guys in, in case you were curious. I don't live with my mom, but was home visiting from college for one night. That's the night she chose to have someone over. So surely it was intentional. I also didn't call her perverted or a slut. But I did say I felt disgusted because, well, I did.

This is the third or fourth time I've experienced her doing this. and after having many conversations, I was quite honestly over it, which resulted in me not speaking to her for a few months. Once I was able to get the image somewhat out of my head, I was ready to speak again. I love my mom, and she's made me a very strong woman who's unashamed of my sexuality. I also think she's a badass and a beautiful woman who should be able to bang every man on the block. However, I'd like it if our sex lives could be kept separate. I love the podcast and listen to every episode. I have no clue how I missed this episode until now. Probably because I wasn't talking to my mom lol. However we're all good now and although our relationship won't be quite the

same it is somewhat back to normal. I emailed her asking if it was okay to share this. She said sure I'll look forward to listening. I wanted to add that my mom offered me tickets to Chelsea's show in Jacksonville and it was definitely the icebreaker we needed. Maybe a subtle bribe but Also, there was no point in staying angry since it all worked out. We loved the show. Thanks, the profane daughter. Wow. I love that.

I know. What a cutie. Yeah. I mean, that is fucked up. Like, if your mom saves the one night for when you're home, but how does the daughter know that it's that one night that she doesn't fuck all the time? You know what I mean? And that's just like, her daughter's there.

It's like, that can't be too much of an inconvenience. I agree with her, though. There's no reason to have sex while your daughter's home. If you can't take a couple nights off of fucking, like, come on. Do a popcorn and a movie night with your daughter. Yeah, yeah. Put a plug in it or something. Jeez.

But I'm glad they're all back together. That sounds nice. Yeah, exactly. Well, before we get to all the fun stuff, we'll take a quick break. Okay, sounds good. We'll be right back. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save.

Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming.

They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts if your bookshelf and your for you page are equally important to your personality welcome home this is prose society the weekly podcast that's part book club part group chat for thought daughters pop culture obsessives and anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse i'm eli rallo and every week

we're connecting the dots between books the internet and the conversations everyone can't stop having i'm gonna have to look up this story i'm obsessed i'm obsessed from best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.

I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here.

It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. If you know me, you know I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover those things together through meaningful conversations with fascinating people.

Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. You have something in your guts. You go with it. And Shawn Johnson recalled the moment she realized her now-husband, Andrew, was the one. He was just so unapologetically himself and knew nothing of Hollywood. He hadn't been on a plane before without his family.

It was so pure. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. okay so oh we have a very good friend of mine on the podcast today she's an author she's a memoirist she's got a new book coming out that i'm really excited about it's called city of likes she also has a podcast joe and i were her very first guests on her podcast it's called third wheel we tell our love story on that podcast oh and city of likes is already being adapted into a tv show with diablo cody attached so that's another person that i like a lot that i'm friends with I'm friends with a lot of people that I do not like but I'm also friends with a lot of people

that I do like that's not true I'm not friends with anyone I don't like I don't have time for that kind of those kinds of shenanigans no but her name is Jenny Mullen hello hi are you on hi hi Sid Biggs I'm Sid Biggs today I'm in London oh you're in London yeah oh my god later for her it's seven o'clock right I don't even know anymore I took an ambient yesterday and I'm just been like. I'm on an Ambien now, Jenny, so don't worry. Fabulous. I love it. I always like to take an Ambien or a muscle relaxer right before I got started. I didn't know you were going to London. I just had, uh, Catherine, I just had dinner with Jenny and Jason in the city the other night. Fabulous. Joe, Jenny, and because we're a quartet now, the four of us, they're so,

they're so excited. We're matching outfits. Oh yeah. We all wore khaki and we all, yeah. And, And they're so excited that I actually have a real boyfriend that people like, you know, people just are so psyched about it. And then we saw Sarah Silverman's play The Bedwetter. Yes, which I loved. Yeah, it was great. There's this girl in it who's awesome. The girl that plays Sarah Silverman as a young girl.

She was really awesome. Amazing. And we had a lot of book talk because Jenny, who is a really good friend of mine, has a new book coming out, which she has been toiling away on in the same vein as, you know, Ernest Hemingway, pretty much. she was working on this book for so long and so fiercely that it is really something to celebrate that it has been printed and is coming out on June 14th. Yes. Yes. June 14th, everybody. It's called City of Likes. So long that last time Chelsea sent me her book, the inscription said,

here's my book. Where the fuck is yours? So long. It literally took forever. This one, it's like a pregnancy that won't end. Yeah, that's a really long pregnancy. So talk to us a little bit. Tell our listeners about the book, because I would describe it as a great commentary on modern society, present day society and the embarrassing nature we all have towards social media. Yeah, it's definitely takes swipes at a lot of these influencers that, you know, we either follow, we hate follow, or we just like still have them in our feed. Like we don't know how to get rid of them we don't know how to like pull away and it really gets into this culture that we're living in right now where we are so addicted to this need for external validation and I really

wanted to write a book that dealt with the stuff that I was seeing in Manhattan where you know when I got to New York I felt like in LA the currency is fame so you're only as good as the last pilot you shot like that's the only reason people will only talk to you if you're like on a billboard or TV show. When I got to New York, it was interesting though, because I sort of came with these strings attached. I had this following of women between the ages of like 18 to 25 with a little bit of buying power and these influencers, but also brands. And it's not really ladies who lunch anymore. It's ladies who launch. So they all have like their own companies, whether they're fake companies or real, it doesn't really matter, but I was embraced by them. And I was brought into

this weird underground sort of society where it was like mommy's supper clubs, power mom's supper clubs and like weddings for dogs and fashion week, crazy, these parties that you would just like not believe were real. And a friend of mine said, Jenny, you can't write another memoir right now. You need to write about what's actually happening to you. And what I was seeing was just this disparity between how we were like curating motherhood and how we were presenting it to sort of our fans and friends and followers. And then like what was really going on. And that just kind of haunted me. And whether I wanted to write a memoir or not, I knew I will be driven out of New York City if I don't call this book fiction.

So that's where we're starting off, guys. That's funny. I mean, how would you describe your relationship with social media? I would say that before the pandemic, it was like a cigarette that I would hide from my children. the other woman in my marriage you know it was something that I was doing that I knew I shouldn't be doing as much as of it as I was doing I didn't really want to admit it to myself or my family and then once the pandemic hit and we were just stuck in a house together nobody could go anywhere it was like guys this is the real me what's happening are we gonna live or die you know refresh every 10 fucking seconds

no but I grapple with it all the time it's when you have kids you're just riddled with guilt in general and all you kind of sit there wondering is how am I going to fuck them up and for me it always comes back to I am so desperately I'm just so scared that one day my kids are going to look at me and say like why did you choose that stranger on the phone over like the people that were sitting in front of you why did you reach for that even if it is a Pavlovich reaction it just it kills me to think that this thing that I have this relationship or this like insatiable beast that I keep feeding in order to sustain my career is gonna really impact my children that's just like for me kills me yeah but not enough for you to stop using

social media especially right now because I gotta sell the fucking book maybe I can throw my phone out the window yeah that's so funny it's so fucking true though I I want to know who feels good after they look at social media, especially if you're on a train and you're just scrolling for a long period of time, like if you're spending an hour or something doing it, and then all of a sudden you realize that you've been doing it and you don't have any remorse is really where the question lies, because I feel like that's pretty much where we are in society. Nobody gives a fuck about how shallow or empty it is. Yes, it's true. Vapid is really the word right you're just like looking at other people to decide what do you think about when the

phone tells you the worst is when the phone says you've scrolled enough you've seen all there is to see there are no more updates it's like the person at the bar being like i think you're good you should leave now yeah right right it's the worst feeling i've scrolled too much my phone is telling me now i first of all i've never gotten that message so i think you know i think not at the level I think you're advanced yeah have you ever seen that Catherine I have not but I have like a limiter oh yeah my my thing I did once get to the end of Facebook like back in the day and I was like this was a waste of a Friday night it was it was a terrible feeling it says you're all caught up oh my god no I have like a limiter on there and I always am like 15 more minutes 15

more minutes the limit does not exist give me 15 more oh that's hilarious yeah you have a timer on okay that's that's a good idea doesn't do anything i've heard of i've heard of people having timers but you have to have willpower in addition to the timer and now it's hard it's so high pressure situation the marriage in the book is a big part of it and i think that mirrors your relationship with jason a little bit right or a lot i don't know yeah i really i knew when i was writing the book that i didn't want the husband to be jason so i was very conscious the whole time that I didn't want to write him just because I have memoirs and I wanted that dynamic to be different. But it does talk about a relationship with, you know, somebody coming into your marriage

and kind of pulling you out. And not only have I had that happen, because I do find these mentor figures that come into my life. Or Jenny likes to like fixate on, you know, somebody that she's either met or has dated someone she's dated or someone, you know, Jason's dated, she gets fixated and she likes to yeah she likes to really focus on that person she's fascinated by that person and she wants to know everything I just find it it's like it's just so there's just so much low hanging fruit there comedy I just love it but no I also find myself I'm I'm always finding these mommy figures and I attach and they become mentors and then all of a sudden I find myself just like kind of serving these narcissists on some level. And there's no greater when a narcissist

shines their light on you, you like, there is no greater high. You just feel so seen. You're like, I am chosen. But when that light goes off, it's just, it can be so painful. And I know that in these female relationships, we do sort of date each other and there are, and I've experienced these relationships that do kind of get toxic and, and have on occasion pulled me from maybe priorities at home, what have you. And I wanted to really get into that and discuss sort of that dance that we do as women with other women. Yeah. So that's kind of more what, in terms of the marriage, there were definitely fights with Jason and I along the way in regard to how much time I was spending with this one particular person and how my life started to revolve around this person.

And so I wanted to really kind of talk about that and just like the pain that comes along with it. because I think that when you have to end it, it's hard, especially if they, you know, represent your mother on some level. Just being totally candid. You've known me for years. I can tell you everything. But also, especially when your husband has to see you mourn a relationship that was only taking away from him, which is, you know, essentially on some level an affair in his mind, you know? Yes. Yeah, exactly. It's like watching your wife mourn her ex-lover. You're like, why do I have to be privy to this? Yes. Why do I have to be the shoulder you're crying on? Yeah. Jason's definitely, we have a similar dynamic with our relationships. Yes. You're

in charge and I'm in charge and they're both, they both are total men, but they both like will defer to us on major decisions. Right. Completely. Completely. That's why I feel so good about this relationship for you because I feel like you're finally with a Jason type and I like that on you. Yeah. Like Joe doesn't put up with any of my shit either. I came home Sunday. I flew home Sunday morning from New York. We went shopping and we grabbed some lunch and we were going into get a Starbucks. And I said, Hey, I'm going to just go to this shot. We had like two hours together before he had to go to leave for his show. I go, Hey, I'm just going to go into this little boutique. Cause I didn't want it to grab some clothes. And I go, I'm just going to go in

here while you get a coffee. And he turned around and looked at me and goes, no, you're not. We have two hours together get your fucking ass over here and I just I just started laughing because I was like yeah he's totally right like that's a fucking dick move but of course I'm a dick so I didn't even think about it you know Kelsey no I have the perfect comeback for you you've just said to him like you're the fucking person who made me a shopper yeah yeah yeah I thought you'd be happy I was shopping yeah right yes but I also like that he's just like no you're not going there I love that. Yeah, it's hot.

It's hot. Yeah, but I think as a strong woman, you definitely need somebody who can, like, give you that pushback. My husband and I have a very similar dynamic. And for a long time, I thought, like, oh, am I being too bossy? Am I, like, making all the decisions? And it took, like, eight or nine years before I was like, he actually married me because he wants a bossy woman in his life. Like, he wants to make decisions when he wants to. But also, like, he wants veto power.

But if it's like where we're going to dinner or what we're going to do for the weekend, he's like, just you pick. Jason claims he wants me to have control. And for instance, where we're doing some like redecorating the house and he's like, I don't care. Do whatever you want. Then all of a sudden things appear. He's like, oh, no, that sconce won't work. Oh, no way. Oh, that looks terrible.

He's like, we need more light here. It's like he has so many fucking opinions. but then you know stuff starts showing up to his house and it just immediately leaves he sends it away no yeah decorating between couples is also a big no-no that's no fun to do no i think that's like a full reality show just me and jason just tell him to go away for three months while you sort some things out and then get back to him yeah he'll come back to like the finished product it'll be beautiful yeah i love it that's what he's afraid of he's like you're gonna give away everything because I do tend to just like ship his things out. Well, you're a woman and Jason's

technically a man. Okay. So we're going to take some callers, Jenny. We're going to, some people write in, some people call in, you'll see. And we're just giving them real advice. Okay, great. Yeah. Before we get to that, we will take a quick break and be back with Jenny Mullen and Chelsea. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with bel-air direct and save get a quote at bel-air direct.com when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying

Shut up. Don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. There's stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters,

pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island to deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

From best-selling authors and your favorite BookTok creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle, I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be

a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. If you know me, you know I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover those things together through meaningful conversations with fascinating people. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you.

You have something in your guts, you go with it. And Shawn Johnson recalled the moment she realized her now-husband, Andrew, was the one. He was just so unapologetically himself and knew nothing of Hollywood. He hadn't been on a plane before without his family. It was so pure. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with Jenny Mullen and Chelsea and Catherine.

Hi. Well, our first email today comes from Kristen. She says, Dear Chelsea, I have a bit of an unusual question for you. I've been together with my husband for four years now. Over the years, I've noticed that he farts really often and they're always loud, but never stinky. We became vegan a year and a half ago. Oh, big mistake. I was hoping that taking dairy out of our diet would make his gas better, but it stayed the same.

It's hard to ignore his farts because they are so loud, and they're really starting to annoy me. I've asked him to walk out of the room to fart, but he thinks that's too much effort. What do you think I should do? Sincerely, Kristen. Oh, wow. Way to start off the episode. Jenny knows more about dieting and what causes farting than I do, probably, because she has all these issues, and she has to eat very clean. So, Jenny, what do you have to say about the fart on the subject of farting? I think I would say that I agree.

Maybe he should leave the room if it's bothering you, if it's starting to become like an issue in the relationship. But I would also ask what he's being fed, making him fart all the time. I feel like that he could do some simple changes, maybe some food combining, which basically food combining. It's like you don't eat your grains and your meats together. So if you have a grain and you want to do starchy vegetables with that, fine. So have that. You have to wait three to four hours then if you're going to introduce an animal protein or have the animal protein, but you can't choose something from every category and have

it at once. That's just creating a terrible situation for you. Also, like if you're eating dairy, you might be lactose intolerant without knowing it. You might be allergic to gluten. You might have all these food allergies. So A, go get his food allergies tested so you could just eliminate. Sometimes it just takes eliminating one thing. Right.

And you don't even have to eliminate it forever sometimes. You can reintroduce it after the fact. And the other thing is, I don't know what you want to do about him farting and leaving the room. I mean, the whole farting thing seems like a real bummer. So I would immediately get to the root of the problem rather than worrying about if he should leave the room or not. And if he's farting while he's sleeping, what's he going to get up in the middle of

the night and walk out? And then, I mean, that doesn't make any sense either. And do you think maybe he's enjoying the farting? because I think Jason really relishes a good fart. He wants to create a scene with it. He likes the drama that comes with it. Yeah. So, I mean, what was her name?

What was our writer? Kristen. Kristen, yeah. So get to the root of the matter. Otherwise, you're just putting a Band-Aid on it and it's not going to be gone anyway, whether he leaves the room or not. Just find out what the problem is

because farting is gross. You don't want to be doing that on the constant. It takes away from the special moments that Jenny's talking about with Jason. like when you have yeah he's farting in the other room right now but when you have it happen once in a while it's more of an event than you know a recurrence right it can be a special moment yeah i think the food issue is really not where i expected this to go but but my youngest son we go to restaurants then i had to tell him i said you can't scream i farted out loud and so now he goes

mommy i fought it but i'm not gonna say i fought it look oh my god he doesn't quite understand but yeah it is like an announcement in my house i live with three boys yes yeah uh it's a whole entertaining thing in your house yes well kristin have his allergies checked and get back to us let us know how it goes for you yeah or don't get back to us right well our next email comes from jessica she is in australia so she's on an even later time zone than you are jenny she says dear chelsea years ago when i was 17 i dumped my girlfriend of a year and then one month later she started dating my mom fucking lesbians two years later they got married and then shortly after divorced surprise surprise this is a jenny mullen special

Oh, my God. Yeah, that's like meaty. I'd be writing all about that. Yes. That's the short version. The result of this is I really struggle to open up to people about it without talking about it as a joke. This has obviously created a lot of tension towards my mom and has kept me from being as close to my family as I'd like to be, even though we now joke about the whole situation. I'm a writer and a poet and am in university to hopefully publish a poetry book. I'm nervous, but know I can be successful if I open up. I'm currently working on writing a one-woman show. How do I share my truest, realist writing with the world without being terrified of the repercussions and alienating my entire family?

Jessica. Hi, Jessica. Hello. This is Jenny. Jenny's our special guest today, and this is Catherine. Hello. How are you? Good. How are you? I'm good. Thank you. Well, Jenny has written about some very personal situations. So I thought that she would be great to help us with this issue. Yeah. So you are contemplating basically telling your story, which is totally your right, right? Right. It is. I mean, my boyfriend's dealing with this. I've done this and Jenny's done this and much and all different sorts of ways. But I think the bottom line is that everyone has a right to tell their version of their story. Jenny, why don't you take it from here? Yes, I agree. I feel like if your mom, and no offense to your mom, but if that she felt comfortable enough to be with

your ex-girlfriend and marry her, then she deserves, I can't think of a better word, but I think she kind of deserves you to be open and honest with your story. And you have a right to tell your truth and your side of things. I mean, you know, my parents definitely didn't love hearing all of the things I had to say about my childhood, but on some level, because they're both kind of narcissists, they were thrilled. My mom now, when she meets people, she'll be like, don't believe everything you hear. She loves it. She loves that she comes off like this crazy, fun, eccentric person that you'd love to have at a dinner party. And it's never as bad as you think. I feel like when you're writing the book, you always think, oh, fuck, these people are going to kill me.

everybody's gonna hate me i'm gonna alienate this person and this person but once it's in the world it's funny it doesn't ever have the impact you really think and you and i and i think you should just kind of embrace it as being your truth as long as you're self-deprecating and really get into your feelings on the subject you have every right to and i think that your family should be proud of you for taking that jump and risk oh well thank you my mom is like classically a narcissist Oh, then she'll love it. She'll be psyched you're writing about me. Trust me.

Yeah, that's the thing. It's like she doesn't really pay attention to anything I do unless she can brag about it. And then she'll love it. You have a book. Then she won't look any closer than that. She's going to be psyched. My daughter has a book. That's it.

Okay. Well, that makes me feel a little bit better. Yeah, but on a more, on a more, this really has nothing to do with anything I'm about to say, but on a more personal note, just out of curiosity, how long were you dating this woman when you dated her? So I was like 16 to 17 and she was about seven years older than me. Looking back is obviously gross. Yeah.

And then my mom was 11 years older than her. So yeah, it's gross. It's all gross. It's so gross. Are you, do you hang out with them? No, they're divorced now. Oh, there's no big surprise. Oh yeah.

That's a good thing to mention. Yeah. For any other mothers out there who are listening to this, thinking about hitting on their daughter's ex-girlfriend. please do not fuck people are so fucked up so fucked up so yeah that's kind of they're broken up and we were really close for a little while but then I stopped giving her what she needed which was some healing from her divorce but I never got that back from her for what happened with everything has she never apologized or said she regretted it no not once they're still friends

I think. And when they were together, you did you spend time with them? Yeah, we did. Because my sister had a baby yesterday. So I have to go and see my mom tomorrow. Oh, I'd say congratulations, but I guess not. But that's kind of the main reason I keep a relationship with her is obviously for my siblings and my nieces and nephews. So well, that's big of you. Yeah. Yeah, I think you have to get into the relationship with your mom. I mean, that seems like a bigger story than even just this woman I think that you could fill a whole book just with stories probably with her and I think that you're going to help a lot of people I think that when people you know that is such a common dynamic not necessarily stealing somebody's person and marrying them although I

do know somebody who has a baby with one of their kids ex-boyfriends girlfriends but I think that I think it's a story that needs to be told and I think it'll feel really cathartic for you to just get it on paper yeah that's what I'm hoping I just want to like get it out you're never going to give you what you want I hate to tell you this you're like I'm still waiting for my parents approval so you have to write it okay that makes me feel a lot better thank you I'm excited for you yeah I'm excited I'm just like I'm just scared but my my siblings know what she's like and like everyone kind of knows like everyone knows what the situation is but everyone's just really nice to each other so no it will set you free I think you have to do it okay I hope so

thank you did you say you wanted to put this up as a one-woman show too or as a yeah i'm hoping to make it a fringe show yeah that's a good idea too yeah i think it'll be great for you and everyone's telling their story that's what everyone's doing as an artist so it's your story you have every right to it it happened to you you were like a central character in the story so yeah it's going to be awesome for you to do that and experience it and all your siblings are probably going to just love seeing it put up like that you know like oh finally this is what we've all experienced and someone has the guts to do it and say it oh my god thank you so much I feel so validated oh well great well good luck let us know what happens keep us posted all right I will do

thank you so much Chelsea yeah thank you thank you guys bye Jessica see ya whoopsie doodle that is a fucked up situation I mean I suppose you would have to be a narcissist to fuck your daughter's girlfriend yeah and also that relationship was illegal yeah exactly I'm like yeah what's the age of consent not that I could say anything yeah I also had an illegal relationship when I was younger underage but at the time you know I thought at the time you just think like oh this older guy like they're interested in me and then later you're like wow, that was so gross. But even me, I was just like, what's wrong with that guy? You're like, he can only impress somebody who was 17. What a loser. I know. Nobody's only even given the

time of day. I'm sure that's why. No, I definitely would feel responsible for my relationship with an older man because I definitely I know that no man has any right to be around a girl that's under 18 years old now at that time. I believe I seduced him. I convinced him. I convinced him to be with me. I convinced him even though he had reservations about my age. I was like, no, no, you don't understand. Like I made this guy have a relationship with me and he had no chance to not have one. So I don't want to lay the blame where it's undue. But yeah, now we know that men aren't even allowed to think about that. And then when you think about it, you're like, yeah, what are you thinking? It doesn't matter how mature or cool you are. But on the subject,

though because this comes up a lot talking about our stories and how you shroud certain people because it's like you have your right to your own family i mean they can sue you potentially if you disclose their information without them signing something and using their real names yes they can sue you is that true because i the my second book i started off saying you know all the people's names have been changed characters blah blah except my mom her name's peggy i don't know well thankless you didn't want to sue you well no your mom's not going to sue you though like i mean are you probably had her sign something you're perhaps i'm sure you did maybe you should send her a text right now be like i need you to sign this send her what's

that thing a release no what's what are those forms that you that you could sign digitally now that they said you sign i'm gonna fucking sign it just go quickly or a video recording saying, I give you the right, the right and allowance to use my name and likeness in your book and just put it on. Yeah, that's funny. Because in my first books, like I gave my brothers and sisters different names. And then it was like, why was I doing that? Because it's so easy to find out what their names are. So for like the second book on, I just started using their real names. And no, I love that about your books. They, the names literally just changed. She's like, Oh, I'm too lazy to keep. I'm like, let me just tell you their real names. It's not like

it's a secret. It's so easy to look up. And half the time I'm doing things with them. So right. Yeah, I love that. But I do know when you're talking about someone or you're telling a real story about someone, especially if they're of note, you have to change their name, likeness, occupation, all of the things that could connect a stranger to who they are. Yes, yes, yes. Which is totally reasonable. Which is reasonable. We are going to take a quick break so you can hear an ad and then we'll be right back. there's no shortcut for saving time but saving money is simple just combine your car and home insurance with bel-air direct and save get a quote at bel-air

direct.com when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with

Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home this is prose society the weekly podcast that's part book club part group chat for thought daughters pop culture obsessives and anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse i'm eli rallo and every week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and the conversations everyone can't stop having i'm gonna have to look up this story i'm obsessed i'm obsessed from best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments nothing is off the table it's

like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is the trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts see you between the pages On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first.

I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip,

I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. If you know me, you know I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover those things together through meaningful conversations with fascinating people. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. You have something in your guts. You go with it.

And Shawn Johnson recalled the moment she realized her now husband, Andrew, was the one. He was just so unapologetically himself and knew nothing of Hollywood. He hadn't been on a plane before without his family. it was so pure. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our next question comes from Liza. She's 38, living in New York, and she's a photographer. Dear Chelsea, I spent most of my mid-20s to mid-30s building a photography career that I became very proud of. I was in L.A. for 10 years, where I met my husband, and by the end of my time

there, I was shooting for clients like Betsy Johnson and Elle magazine. Given that I was always the kid with no direction growing up, I was beyond proud of myself. We left L.A. in 2019 for New York because my husband got a job, and while it seems like the transition would be an easy one from one big city to the next, my photography career plummeted. Once COVID hit, we landed in the Hudson Valley, a place I love, but also a place where I feel more lost than ever. The career I had in LA is realistically not feasible where I am unless I want to spend lots of time traveling, which no longer sounds ideal. So my question for you is, what advice do you have for someone who found their passion and once thrived in their life, but now lives a completely

different lifestyle without a clue as to where to pivot next? I'm okay with a career shift, but I don't know where to begin or what I'd even do. And I definitely don't have the hustle energy I had in my 20s. Any advice would be so helpful. Liza. Hi, Liza. Hi. Hi. How are you? This is Jenny, our guest today. Hi. And this is Catherine, who you've met, I'm assuming. Hi. Hello. So you're in the Hudson Valley. Yes. And there's no opportunity there for you to apply your photography up there to do anything with it? I mean, it's not the same. Like, I'm sure they do shoots up here

for all sorts of things. I just don't have the connections that I had in LA. And I'm just, I just feel kind of stuck because I'm up here, like my husband's working and I'm just sort of sitting here at a computer every day. And what were you shooting? What kind of photography were you doing? So I was working a lot with modeling agencies,

doing advertising, editorial lookbooks for fashion brands. Yeah. I mean, I feel like you can still do all of that there. I mean, you're not that far from New York City. I mean, that's not an unreasonable commute. It's not like flying to Los Angeles. You just have to do networking on that end. I mean, they are doing shoots in Hudson Valley all the time. although I mean you see that in magazines town and country you see it with people's homes up there architectural digest does stuff up there I mean there's room for you to maneuver and like figure out some kind of line of communication for opportunities that are coming up there to shoot and also take advantage of the fact that you're so close to New York City I don't think you have to change careers yeah I mean it was tough when I moved because I like so my work in LA was so I had sort of carved out a niche for myself where everything was like blue skies and palm trees. And

that's what I shot. Like I shot outdoor sunshine. I wasn't like a studio photographer. So when I came to New York, I think I was just sort of blissfully naive thinking that things would carry over. And we moved in the dead of winter and I was like, oh shit, like I can't do what I did in LA, in New York. And I mean, like you're completely right about the networking thing. I'm just really bad at that. And I feel like I spent 13 years doing it in LA and I'm just tight. Like I had all my connections there.

Yeah, but I think you need to just get good at it. These are all excuses. You can do all of these things. You just don't feel like doing it. And just because Hudson Valley looks the way it does in the winter, it doesn't look like that in the summer or the spring or the fall. It's like a complete opposite

of what you were shooting in LA. It's rustic, it's woods, it's greenery. It's more beautiful, I would argue. So you can create all of these opportunities. I understand what you mean about not having the ambition you did when you were 20s. I can completely relate to that. But there's times to hustle, and this is one of them. And so thinking about changing careers seems like a lot bigger burden than just hustling

for like a good six months and making the connections you need to make to sustain a career that can then last 20 plus years. Right. No, that's a very good point. Do you still have the passion for photography that you did? I do. but I like, there is a part of me that wonders if the hustle isn't in me, then maybe that says it all. And that's what sort of scares me too. Cause I'm like, well, maybe I'm ready for a

shift, but I have no idea what that shift would be. Cause I've basically gotten good at something for 10 years. And before that I was in the service industry and I, the skills that I have are very specific. Jenny, what do you think? Well, I think that there are either two options. One, if you think that it might not be what's right for you, and maybe this is what you should do regardless is I think that you need to take the time and not guilt yourself about needing to throw yourself into a career again. I think I'm very competitive with my husband. So like, understand when your husband's working, you're like, I'm sitting here at home, I'm not doing anything. And you start to spin and then you start to shame yourself and you just get into this like

negative headspace. I think you need to rewrite that narrative for yourself and say, I'm giving myself time because I don't want to jump into a career if I'm already burnt out on it. Like, what is the point of even starting something up if I'm not going to find joy from it? So I think you need to say, allow yourself the time to really sit there and decide, is this what I want to do next? And explore some other options before you make a move in any direction. And if it is still photography, I think your best bet, and this is like antithetical to what my book is about, but I think you need to get online. I think you need to start shooting outside. And I think you need to start posting on TikTok and Instagram and show people what you can do. I think that is so,

it's so, I hate networking in person. I much prefer just like, you know, posting something and waiting to see who sees it. It's so much easier than going out and having to have a billion drinks with somebody or a billion different people and trying to just like get in and, and social climate or whatever you have to do. All that bullshit drives me crazy. So I let your work speak for itself if that is what you want to do. But first, give yourself the time to really marinate and think about what is the next step for me? What do the next 10 years of my life look like?

Yeah. You're allowed that. You've hustled. You've worked your ass off. Yeah. And I think that's a good point that networking post-COVID looks a little bit different than it did pre-COVID, where it's just like, go to parties, go to parties, put in FaceTime, all this garbage.

And now it's very different. It's online and agreed. Instagram and TikTok I feel like Instagram sort of punishes new creators but go on TikTok obviously for photography it's a little bit different but people will come to you basically you can shoot they're like all over you yeah especially all these like fashion influencers they're like would you like some more experience for your book and maybe you're thinking not really bitch why don't you pay me but you know maybe you do want to just have that person make an appearance and repost you sometimes that you know begets more work and also in terms of networking it's like

just also reaching out with the, to the context that you do have from all of your experience thus far, whether it's in LA or not, people are always working in New York and London and LA and Paris. So like just reminding people, Oh, Hey, I moved to Hudson Valley. If anything comes across you, just keep those conversations going because you never know what's going to drop into your lap that way. And just by applying any sort of hustle to any situation, you're going to find out what you're going to want to do if it isn't photography yeah yeah I think that's a very good point anything creative that you can do even if it feels sort of disjointed from what you've done in the past is going to get those creative juices flowing I mean that's really why I landed in

podcasting because I was like dipping my toe in this water I was writing I was doing voiceover I was doing all these different random things and then I started my first podcast and that's sort of like the it's snowballed and I found myself being so creatively fulfilled by it that you know some of the other things that I had been really passionate about before fell away but I was able to use the skills I learned doing them in podcasting right that's a really good point yeah yeah it finds you I think if you put that energy out there it finds you yeah and I've connected with actually have people downstairs that we're doing a creative shoot today amazing just like actually have a job right now i'm actually working as a photographer right now so i don't even know

what this call is about well no it's just it's a creative shoot but like just to meet like i've i connected with them randomly online they're makeup artists here and they seem amazing the model came up from new york so chelsea thank you because i mean thank you to all of you but like i do feel like sometimes it's it's difficult when you're just like sitting by yourself and like you said, you get in your head. Yeah. I've been where I'm just like sitting and like, I want to create and I want to do stuff and I really want to work. I just don't, you know, I just don't know what to do. It's like, there's so many options that I just don't. Yeah. But you do know, just start with the first thing, you know, start with the Instagram, the TikTok, if that seems too big, send a couple

emails to people you've worked with to just say where you're moving and be proactive. Don't be defeatist. That energy turns into negativity. And then you're just sitting there having a pity party for yourself, which is how you entered this call. So get your shit together and go get us a good update and follow back up with us and give us some good news, please. I needed that. Thank you. Okay. See you later. Thanks for calling. Bye. I had a mentor who told you to go get your shit together. Basically, she was like, move to a coast. You don't belong in Chicago. Oh, really? She was like, go where the creatives are. Find a coach.

Yes. But no, she called it, and especially for Liza, who says she had no direction growing up, and obviously she's a creative. But this mentor, Debbie Phillips, called it stomping your perimeter. What that means is like all these random jobs or experiences in your life eventually go into what becomes your dream job. And they all get used. They all get used.

And then eventually, you know, you might have a new dream job that uses your skills you got from your first dream job. But she'll get there. She just needs to keep those juices flowing. Yes. Yeah. But I know that feeling where you're just like, oh, my God, it's it feels like this just like insurmountable thing. Yeah. And also just spending that kind of time alone, what that does to your psyche.

Like you could just tell by her whole demeanor that she's just been alone too long. She's just in her head and like, yeah, because that feeling sucks. You know, that's when you really need an Adderall. But we can't prescribe medication because we're not doctors. And Adderall is not something that I would prescribe if I were a doctor, even though I've had some good times on Adderall. Well, our next question comes from Jess. Jess says, Dear Chelsea, I'm about to turn 37 and have been married for two years. After suffering two miscarriages in nine months, we decided to try IVF.

It's been a brutal past two months, to put it lightly. The reason I'm writing this is that this whole pregnancy loss and infertility process has given me zero interest in sex. I jokingly refer to myself as a lab rat these days, with all the doctor's appointments, tests, surgeries, shots, etc. Lately, I view my body in a strictly medical fashion. I don't feel sexy or desire any pleasure physically. We probably have sex about once a month. My husband has been wonderful about it, but I can't help but to feel terribly guilty, like I'm failing him as a wife.

I know sex is such an important component to marriage, and I don't want to deprive my husband, especially so early on into marriage. While I'm super attracted to my husband and love him to death, I just have no desire these days. So I guess my question is, should I put in more of an effort and just do it? Or is it okay to take this time during this difficult journey to use my body how I feel most comfortable? which is not having sex thanks jess jenny you didn't have to do in vitro right no i wouldn't

have probably had kids because i think that jason would have done in vitro he was desperate to have children his biological clock was drinking and we needed to like have a baby to make him happy and i'm so glad we did but he really had to force me off that ledge like i was white knuckling it to the bitter end. I was just so afraid to be a mom. But no, we didn't do IVF. But I know a lot of friends that have been through it. And it's brutal. It's just like, oh, my God, emotional journey is insane. And the thing is, it's not permanent, but it is annoying. But it's like, that's how people feel when they do IVF. Overwhelmingly, that's the consensus that you don't want to have sex. So I think that is your right to not want to have sex during this

time and to explain that. I think you said it nicely, like using your body for the purposes of getting pregnant and getting healthy and having a successful pregnancy. Could you try more? I mean, that's up to you. Like if you want to. Yeah, sure. But you don't have to. And just remind yourself like it's not going to be like this. It does take a toll on the marriage because men need to fuck. They're moody. And that is what helps their mood. Unfortunately, it's as basic as that. is that true guys then i should be having more sex too because i don't even put an effort i think that men really appreciate having sex like it helps i think it helps them calm down do you think it helps you calm down do i need to be having more sex with you because like she's saying we're an

ivf and i'm still having sex once once a month and i'm thinking that's fucking great that seems like a lot no jenny once a month is not good if you're not going through ivf poor jason am i gonna have to fuck Jason again? Yes. I think it's about time. Okay. Let me talk to Joe about that. I love Joe, but like he is sort of interfering with that little dynamic. Yeah, Joe requires 120% of my time. But anyway, back to the person who actually called in for some serious advice. That's my advice is everything I just said, you know, absolutely take this time. If that's what you need, then that is your right. Yes. And I think that you should be having less sex because I think you're going through a lot. You don't even need to put out once a month. Yeah. And like

there are other things you can do to satisfy his needs without him having to like get all up in your space watch some porn exactly or like help you know give him a hand whatever else you need to do a fucking child you need to calm down on this yes i find a hand job to be even sillier than a blowjob it is silly a hand job is almost just like you're just jerking someone off it's there's something very i don't think i've ever given a hand i can't give a hand job like it I know, like, that just seems like a long way to go. Like, there's so many more effective ways to make that happen. Like a handjob. It's so silly. You can just read a book while you're doing it. It's very easy. Yeah. It is. Yeah. Anyway, so whatever you do, don't give a handjob. stay away from me that's the title of this episode yes well Jess let us know how it goes and also like get yourself a massage from someone who's not trying to have sex with you so you can

like feel good about your body yeah good get that good one Catherine so our last little question here and this is a quickie is dear Chelsea first I want to say you are amazing I'm a huge fan and really appreciate all that you do. Just wanted to ask for book recommendations. I know you're an avid reader and was just wondering if you knew of any good reads for shifting one's mindset to more positive thoughts and gaining self-confidence. Also, if you have any recommendations on fiction books or a series you really like, I would definitely appreciate it. Thanks, Chelsea from Virginia. Oh, I'm reading this book Between Two Kingdoms, but it's not necessarily upbeat, but it does it will make you grateful for your own life and existence because this is a story

about a woman who gets diagnosed with this blood cancer when she's 22 and then everything that happens after and it's it's brutal like in terms of what you could you realize like the human body can endure but it's really also really well written 12 between two kingdoms it's a great book it actually really i read it this weekend and i came away feeling very grateful and optimistic So that's a good way to make yourself feel good and grateful for all the things that you have and don't have to experience. And it's an eye opener. But in terms of what's a good fiction book, I always recommend Circe that by Madeline Miller. That's a good fictional book. And that takes you to another place. And it's just like magic land. And usually I don't like that kind of shit, but I do love that book.

Jenny, have you read any good fiction lately? I read this book. It's called Mouth to Mouth, and it was really fun. I loved it because I don't want to give it away, but it's these two guys. They meet up in an airport. They haven't seen each other since they went to school together when they were younger. And just the story that sort of unfolds. The ending is killer. I just I really loved it.

It was a great read. So different. It just yeah, it really captured me. I also just read the new Rebecca Searle book recently, One Italian Summer, which is a great summer beach read. And then don't forget to order City of Likes, which is coming out June 14th, but you can preorder it now on Amazon. City of Likes by Jenny Mullen. It's better than all of these books. Yeah, so just order that. No, and then as far as like a self-help or like a, you know, really working on yourself type book, I always come back to The Untethered Soul. Whenever I'm having a panic attack or I'm feeling scared that something's going awry or I'm going to die, I read The Untethered Soul.

And chapter two, mind blowing. I love chapter two of that book. It's the best chapter, but that's a great one. All right. Well, that's a good list of recommendations. We've talked about that book before. Yeah. Start there. We're going to take a quick break and we'll be back with Jenny and Chelsea. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files.

I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, Shut up. Don't say anything. every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them they're stories about what it takes to make it out alive Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.

This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse.

Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.

I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility.

Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. If you know me, you know I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover those things together through meaningful conversations with fascinating people. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. You have something in your guts. You go with it.

And Shawn Johnson recalled the moment she realized her now-husband, Andrew, was the one. He was just so unapologetically himself and knew nothing of Hollywood. He hadn't been on a plane before without his family. It was so pure. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Jenny, do you have any advice you'd like to get from Chelsea? Yeah, I'm curious as somebody who is touring with comedy, who's out there telling jokes in this post-COVID world, post-Trumpian era. I'm afraid to be on Twitter these days. And I've really, I'm just so much more self-conscious about the things that I'll joke about publicly. I'm wondering has it changed your comedy and like what are your thoughts on that what would you advise people who are out there running off at the mouth I think it's made me sharper and more

clever like I think my stand-up is stronger than it ever has been because of the very essence of being mindful of others you know what I mean and not going for the cheap joke or the easy joke or the low hanging fruit, actually being sharp about what you're going to talk about and what your point of view about it is, because there's still plenty to make fun of it. All we have to do is not be sexist and racist. You know what I mean? That's not a tall order, especially for for so many comics. Like that's why I keep having these conversations about reviving Chelsea lately into Chelsea later, because I feel I've seen so many comics on the road now. It's like this isn't a hard time to be funny or be yourself. There's just parameters that have been set that should

have been set, frankly, a long time ago. So I think you're going to enjoy it. It's just it's as a creative, all you ever want to do is have more clarity and be sharper. And what about politically? Do you avoid or do you go straight for the jugular? Well, with politics, I think I had so much. I didn't do a lot of good, I don't think, by being so politically out there like people. It was very divisive because of my personality. I engage much more on a different decibel is what I've learned about my own political activism. My opinions are, of course, the same and hopefully, you know, changing as time goes on all the time. But I wasn't making the kind of traction and the kind of things happen that I wanted to.

And I realized there's a different volume associated with every part of what you do. And you could be much more effective if you pay attention to that. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. And on that upbeat note, I am going to go in the bathroom and finger blast myself. Chelsea, is that a handjob? Talk about low hanging fruit.

Jenny, I love you so much. Thank you so much for being here today. I'm so excited for your book. Everybody, please grab a copy. City of Likes and let us know. Yeah, start book clubs and tag us and tag Jenny. That's great. Thank you.

Thank you, guys. Thank you so much. Oh, my God. Love it. This was so fun. I'll see you guys. Tell Jason I said to fuck off. OK, tell Joe the next time we're getting together, the next look we're going to go for is like all sailor. We did. We already did army men. He had some good stuff from that Martha's Vineyard brand. What's it called with the whale on it? Vineyard Vine. Vineyard Vine. He's got a great. I already have his outfit checked out. Yeah. Yeah. OK. OK. No problem. I'll get to matching boot shoes. OK. Thanks. Bye, guys. Bye.

So if you'd like to ask Chelsea a question, email us at DearChelseaProject at gmail.com. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled and nearly silenced these are stories about what it takes to make it out alive listen to the survivor files with elizabeth smart on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts hey this is hayes davenport and sean clements we host the podcast hollywood handbook each week we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers

and see what they have to offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture

with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes

without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Nick Turturro. You probably know me from NYPD Blue, The Longest Yard, or Spike Lee's Black Klansman.

And on my new podcast, Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, I deliver pizza to a new guest. I've shared a slice with everyone, from Seth Rollins. What are you doing with my belt? To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now, we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Turturro. It's called happiness. Delivering happiness.

And many, many more. Open your free iHeartRadio app, search Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, and listen now. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.