Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - There Is No Fairy Tale with Lindsey Vonn

Episode Date: April 6, 2023

This week Lindsey Vonn joins Chelsea to talk about multitasking yourself into an incredible career, how your relationship changes with a parent after they die, and why Lindsey’s no longer worried about getting injured while skiing.  Then: A golfer is ready to give up after lewd comments from sexist old men. A world traveler wants to know how NOT to pick up guys.  And a girlfriend wants her boyfriend to embody all five love languages… or else. * RISE by Lindsey Vonn * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] * Produced by Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us.

Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle, I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself

because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, hello. Good afternoon. Buenos tardes

Hi Chelsea I don't even know what I mean I'm so sick of Mabel correcting me in my fucking Spanish I mean She corrects everything I say But she's not correcting me to speak proper Spanish She speaks slang Spanish Admittingly

She says to me, well this is how we speak in Mexico And I'm like, great, but I'm trying to learn Spanish For Spain And I also don't want to point out That I don't ever Correct her fucking English Never! I never say, oh, no, those words go in the opposite direction or anything.

But she is riding me like a wave. Oh, my gosh. She wants you to be perfect. And she won't get off my jock. I'm like, do you want me to learn Spanish or don't you? If you keep putting up these barriers. And she just loves it, though. But I got to give it to her.

Like, I know that that must be satisfying for her to be able to correct me all the time and tell me what to do. And you asked her to in her defense. Well, yeah, I said I wanted to speak Spanish. She could let me slide a little bit with my grammar. But you know what? I love, I'm such a grammarian. I care so much about grammar that I really want, I want to speak proper Spanish. Anyway, it's just, it's too much of a beginner Spanish to be there yet.

Yeah. Anyhoo, what have I learned this week? I learned about Cuba and sugar. Oh, tell me about Cuba and sugar. Well, you know, after this, I learned all about Spain. Oh, I have to promote a show. April 20th, Spokane. That's the second show we added in Spokane.

It's not quite sold out, so please buy your tickets. You motherfuckers. And what other shows do I need to promote? Well, they're all really almost sold out. Oh, Red Rocks Amphitheater. That one's not sold out yet. Red Rocks Amphitheater. That's a big one.

That's like 10,000 people. I can't wait. So yeah, go to ChelseaHandler.com. There are some tickets for some other shows. And I'm going to add a whole bunch of new dates, I think sometime this month. Yeah, fantastic. It's so hard to figure out where I am. I thought I was in Cuba.

So I learned all about the Spanish conquering Cuba and then the English conquering Cuba. And then they had a treaty and they gave Cuba back to Spain. And then they kept Florida. And then they kept the lower Mississippi, some areas around there. And then they discovered sugar during the Atlantic slave trade, which was started by the English. I'd like to say that. Make sure we keep that mentioned so that people fucking understand history because I am so confused about so many things. I was like, well, didn't we all come from Egypt to my brother one day?

He's like, no, you asshole. And so now I'm reading a book. Then we all came from Africa. Everybody came from Africa. So anyway, the sugar. Yeah. So Cuba was the center of sugar for a long time. Slaves were responsible for all of the prosperity of the United States, beginning the United States and basically taking all of the sugar cane, hacking it, cutting it, transferring it, blah, blah, blah.

And so that's when the Atlantic slave trade peaked was during the sugar, I want to say rush, but I don't think it's called a rush. I like calling it a sugar rush. Yeah, a sugar rush. That's a different kind of taste. That's a different, that's something too. So yeah, there's that. And then I'm learning about Neanderthals and Denisovans and Anatolia and Homo erectus and

how we all kind of changed. And when we split off, like right before Homo erectus, we split off, we diverged. One became chimpanzees and the other became modern humans. Oh, my God. Short History of Humanity, it's called. I need to read what you're reading because, like, as a kid who grew up going to Christian school where we had, let's say, a warped and abbreviated version of science, I didn't even know that, like, Pangea existed until I was in college. I remember saying to a teacher once, why does it look like the two, you know, halves of the earth would fit together? And they're like, that's just a funny thing God did.

Like, that kind of stuff was what I grew up with. I also believed that we were, everything was connected, even the islands and not all the islands like Sardinia, Corsica were never part of the mainland. They were just like, they were just volcanic. Yes. Yes. So they, they have their own thing going. So that's interesting too, that that would naturally happen, that there would be islands

sprinkled everywhere. You know, I mean, I guess I got such bad science education. I didn't even remember the word for continents, you know, the halves of the world. It's just wild. Yeah, it is wild. And, you know, you read something and you retain. I'd be interested in my level of retainment. I want to take tests after every book I read to see how much I took in.

I think we're trying to send you back to college. I know. I wouldn't be opposed to some sort of curriculum, quite frankly. Okay. What do we got, Katherine? What's happening today? Well, Chelsea, I have. We have my ski buddy on today, but I won't tell you who that is until she's on.

That's very exciting. So, Chelsea, I had an email come in about Dana who had called in. Her stepson was being sort of vaguely creepy. Yes. Yes. Yes. And she mentioned, like, he was maybe being a little too touchy-feely with her son. And I just thought this email was so important that I wanted to share it with you.

Heather says, hello, Chelsea and Catherine. I wanted to say thank you for providing the audience with the mother that called in about her stepson. she feels uncomfortable around. While I had no doubt this would be your response, I truly appreciate you not minimizing the seriousness of needing to take action to protect her younger son, self, and family. I'm also in awe of the mother's strength to reach out for advice. Because that is so tricky. I mean, it's like, it's this sort of nebulous thing. My personal story includes eight plus years of a very close family friend grooming me as a child with uncomfortable touching, inappropriate sexual conversations for an adult to have with a child,

shower peeping accidental quote-unquote porn exposure and more while rape never occurred it has left years worth of trauma response that i'm working through with a great therapist however at the time it was brushed off by others as creepy old man vibes or that shoulder or waist touching wasn't considered a sexual touch even if i didn't want it i think i was meant to hear this podcast today as my therapy session this week was focused on my continued struggle with not freezing in a moment when someone touches me in a suggestive but not legally sexual way the mother listening to her intuition and taking charge to keep her young son safe could have a huge impact on her son's future it's something i wish would have happened for myself

her older stepson clearly also needs support and i'm thankful you communicated to prioritize safety of family while acknowledging his need for help too it's these conversations and stories that i hope will help others think differently on the impact these quote-unquote micro traumas can have over time thanks so much for your awesomeness and sharing both the funny and needed stories of our lives heather i like how she said micro trauma because i learned about complex trauma from a friend of mine over the weekend who i hung out with and he was telling me about complex trauma is trauma over time right like uh neglect or alcoholism or drug addiction something like that that you lay witness to.

If you have a sibling that has a terrible schizophrenia, that would be complex trauma, which is different than event trauma. And PTSD is related to event trauma. But I want to underline the intuition part because more and more people are talking about intuition and understanding that it is a very concrete, if not measurable thing.

And for every woman and man that is listening, to all our gays you all have it we all have intuition we all have a feeling in our stomach and our gut sometimes it's in your heart or it feels like in your heart but it is really in your gut when you meet someone and it's the exact opposite of the feeling you get when you know something's wrong when somebody comes into your space a person and you know they're dangerous right away you see that they're sketchy or that they're unhinged or that they're unpredictable that feeling right there you can also have in the opposite way about something you should do or somebody you should move towards or a thing that is right and if you really listen to yourself

you are going to know what that is and we don't talk about intuition in the way that we need to because young girls need to trust their intuition they need to trust the way that their body feels because your body will tell your brain what is happening and it is it's such a concrete thing It's like you, when you're in a certain situation or you're around someone who makes you uncomfortable, it turns into a physical reaction. Your stomach gets in a knot. Your hair goes up on the back of your neck. Your posture changes. The way you're holding yourself and carrying yourself changes.

Your body is communicating with you. Yeah. You know, sometimes I fold my arms when I'm in a conversation and I realize how off-putting that is. Like that's the definition of being defensive is having your arms folded. Even if that's a comfortable position for you, that's how it's kind of received most of the time. And that's because my body's doing it. My body is saying, oh, I'm uncomfortable in this conversation.

And you have to listen to those signals. Or, you know, sometimes it's just ego. Like, oh, they're saying something that I don't like or I don't agree with or whatever. But, yeah, I think that's a great conversation for any parents listening to have with your young children. Following your gut. It is so important, especially with situations

like the ones we're just talking about, I mean. Where it's not illegal, it's not illicit, but it is something that is having an effect and an impact on that child or that adult. You know, this can happen in adult situations as well. One really helpful listener, Tatiana, wrote in saying some of the early warning signs of psychosis are a worrisome drop in grades or job performance,

trouble thinking clearly, suspiciousness or uneasiness with others, a decline in self-care or personal hygiene, pain spending a lot more time alone than usual and strong inappropriate emotions or having no feelings at all. And I think that's a really important thing to point out as well because that age, they said like 27, right around there, that's kind of when some mental illnesses will present themselves to people. So thanks to everyone who wrote in about that. So I thought this was so important to highlight and really paying attention to those little

things. And if someone says I'm uncomfortable, like listening to them and seeing what steps need to be taken so okay so who's our first guest okay our first guest we it's our only guest I forgot that I'm not on a tv show right now our guest today is a friend of mine a good friend of mine and she's an Olympic gold medalist and she's a skier but before I introduce her I really want to mention her philanthropy she has a foundation called the Lindsay Vaughn Foundation which empowers underserved girls with camps scholarships and more so please make sure you are aware of that and check it out. She wrote a great book, which everyone should read. It's called Rise. Okay, please welcome Lindsey Vonn. Oh, there she is. Miss America. I was hoping that

I was going to interrupt you, your ski day today. Where are you? I'm in Orlando. Oh, yeah. You know, I have a dilemma, actually. I'm glad you brought up Florida. Because for my new tour, I was just on the phone with my agents this morning, and they were going over routing for the fall dates that we're going to announce later. And Florida was on the list. And I said, guys, I don't know about Florida anymore. And they're like, well, do you really want to punish the people in Florida? Like you have people you every time you go, you go to like six stops in Florida. I'm like, no, I don't. I don't want to punish the people of Florida. They're being punished enough. But I feel like as a statement, I just have to say, fuck off. Like when is enough enough? Like all of this

legislation, like I feel like DeSantis needs to know certain people aren't going to come. I'm sure they don't care about me, but if more people do it. But then there's the argument that you're affecting revenue. You're affecting people's jobs. You're affecting people's lifestyles. So I don't really know what the right answer is. If anybody listening has feelings on this, please DM me or actually DM Lindsay. She'll, she'll go through them first and then she'll read them to me. What are you doing in Orlando? I'm speaking, you know, apparently some people want my advice for some reason. I don't know. I believe it. You're a champion. We were just watching your night race at, uh, I'll say it. The Strieff? The Strieff in Kitzbühel. Yes. Kitzbühel. Yes.

Kitzbühel. The Strife. Yes. Good job guys. Yeah. And this video is of you skiing the world's hardest ski run. You were not only the first woman to do it, but you also did it in the dark just to make it more insane. This video is crazy. I'll put a link to it in the show notes. It's a hard one, honestly. I've not run into one American that has gotten it right so far, but it's okay. The effort was there. I appreciate you.

Well, it's also a hard line to ski. It's not even a line. I don't even know what the fuck you would call what you do, but it is so, so hardcore and so badass. I mean, all my ski buddies from Whistler who are real ski, you know, like they know how to ski. And they are just like, when that video came out, we must have watched it like 15 times.

If you haven't seen it, she did it with Red Bull. You can watch it on Lindsay's Instagram, which you should be following her anyway, because you put out great content. I saw you powder skiing the other day and I wanted to ask you, how do you, because if you spent your life training, you know, downhill and slalom and all the stuff that you do, do you spend a lot of time in powder before you retire? Oh, no, I never powder skied because I was so worried that I would hurt myself. And some of the other athletes would go powder skiing.

Like if our race was canceled because of so much, no, you know, it's definitely, I would say some of the girls would go like people that are from California that grew up skiing powder, but I didn't grow up skiing powder. I'm from Minnesota. There's not one powder day in the entire season. It's mostly man, man, and just cool as hell. So I just, I love skiing, you know, and I powder is a lot easier on my knees. and while it's not something that you know i've grown up with i just i love it and it's fun and the most exciting thing that i can do outside of racing yeah powder skiing is really fucking fun and you know what is so fun about it or so funny about it is that when you learn how to ski technically as lindsey can speak to way more than i can but from what little i've gleaned everything you learn about regular skiing goes out the window when you ski powder. You know, you're not at an angle. You're not turning. You're bouncing like a bunny rabbit

through the snow and just like hopping like boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Yeah. It's like leaning back. It's the exact opposite that any instructor would ever teach you. It's all just lean back and ride the wave. It's like surfing. It's pretty funny because to your point, it is the exact opposite of what you've been told, what you've been taught and just throw it all out the window. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you've been through a lot and you've been injured a lot. And I want to talk a little bit. I know you, Lindsay wrote a great book about her whole life, her autobiography. And in it, you talk a lot about your recoveries from many different accidents. And I want to know, obviously you were mentally tough. You couldn't survive all of this and

continue to go back out there, especially what you just skied in Kitzbühel. Like why would you do that. And you said, I mean, I think you said you had like your surgery ready to go in case you did wipe out and hurt yourself. Is that true? Yeah, I mean, I'm getting my knee replaced. So I figured this was a perfect time to do it. Because if I crash and I need surgery, I'm getting it anyway. So I don't mind risking it. But I've had my fair share of surgeries. I mean, you've hurt your knee, you know, you know the deal. But I don't think it's ever impacted my passion for ski racing or for skiing in general. I just love the mountain. I just wish it had been a little bit easier on my body, but I don't have any regrets, you know, despite the fact that I

limp around most of the time. I still wouldn't change anything. Well, let's talk about the mindset that allows you to do that because you work out really hard. So I know your body's been beaten up, but you still have a significant amount of strength left and determination in order to keep all of that going, which I think is really vital for, I think, all women, You know what I mean? With like our physicality, it's like you get an injury and you can be so down on yourself. First of all, it's depressing and you're immobile and then you're taking pills and you're, you know, you're trying to recuperate and all of that is like a real negative downer on you. So to be able to pick yourself back up from that, not once, but repeatedly is very admirable. And to keep going, you know, I know a lot of people who get into an accident and they don't want to ever do that thing again. And it's like, oh, I want to do that thing right away again because I don't want to be scared of it. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I think, to your point, a lot of people can get down and I got very down. I mean, I got really depressed when I was injured. I missed the Olympics, I was injured back to back ACLs, which took me out for almost two years in a row. And it's really hard to find anything positive, you know, when you, especially when you repeatedly get injured, like, what am I doing? You know, why am I doing this? And it's hard to find the motivation. but I think for me it always goes back to passion you know why I love ski racing and I've always have and that's why I kept doing it and kept coming back but it doesn't make the recovery

any easier you know it's always with rehab it's always two steps forward one step back and sometimes one step forward two steps back you know it's a very monotonous long slow grind and I just have learned through repetition that you just have to stick to it and keep going, you know, keep putting one foot in front of the other. And that's the only thing you can do, honestly. And your transition since you retired has been, you're still really involved with the U.S. ski team. You're still really involved in skiing. You're skiing with people all the time in Utah or Vail or, you know, all over the place, I guess. And so tell me, talk to me a little bit about that transition for you? Because I know as an athlete, or I don't know, I can imagine

how difficult it must be to say goodbye to that part of your life. But in a way, you've kind of extended it in a way that we haven't seen many people do publicly. Yeah, I mean, I definitely felt like when I retired, a part of me died. You know, I it was something where I knew I could never go back. And I've been doing it my entire life. I've been skiing since I was two and a half years old. And after I retired, I woke up and what I love to do every day was suddenly gone. And I had to really figure out, okay, what is it about ski racing that I love? I love being on the mountain. So it took me about a year and a half, but I got back out there and I relearned my passion for the sport as a whole. And I enjoyed skiing with my family,

with my friends. I've gone to places now that I've been many times before, but I've never actually skied. I've been to Courchevel. I've raced there many, many, many times, but I've never been anywhere other than the race trail. So I got to go back and explore the mountain and, you know, find my passion again. And, and I think, you know, for me, I don't like sitting still downhill. I always had adrenaline and that was really hard to replace, but I've found ways to challenge myself and, you know, push myself now in business and just keep again, like waking up every day with a new challenge. And that's been exciting. It's, you know, I feel like there's so many opportunities and I'm excited for the future, to be honest. Yeah, I know. I like watching what you've been

doing in the last couple of years. And we've known each other for a long time, actually. And it feels like you have really found your groove and like all of these opportunities, your philanthropy, your foundation, and all of the business opportunities that you have cultivated for yourself is a great model, I think, for a lot of younger athletes who are probably looking going, Oh, she made this like, so seamless, you know? Well, it's definitely wasn't seamless. I mean, I can't tell you how hard it was, you know, as a ski racer, we don't, we don't make money. There's no money in ski racing. So I had to really work hard to make a business for myself. And my dad always made me aware when I was younger, that if I wanted to be successful, I had to be

more than an athlete. And so I always took that approach. I always went the extra mile. I always did all the interviews. I was really careful with my sponsorships, what partnerships I chose, always thinking long-term. I was actually made fun of. A lot of people were like, why are you spending so much time with this? You're distracted from your racing. I said, no, I can do both. I can win races. I can have my own business. I can be successful on multiple levels at the same time. I think just believing in myself and not listening to anyone else was, was the best thing that I could do, because I wouldn't be anywhere if I listened to every single person that said I wouldn't do anything or couldn't be anything or,

you know, couldn't multitask. Women are great multitaskers. I think I know fucking tell me about it. I mean, I honestly like women are so much better. When I was at the doctor's this morning, and I asked him one question, and then he just stopped everything he was doing to answer the question. And I looked at him and I wanted to say, keep, keep, keep going. Like, don't, we don't have to do separate things. Like, you can work and talk, can't you? At the same time. You're a fucking doctor. Like, get in together. I mean, women are just like, you know, you're eating a hard-boiled egg, feeding your dog, getting on a plane. Like,

we're doing a million things at once. And it's so crazy to me that they cannot talk and think at the same time. They can't even fathom what we do. It's pretty funny. No, no. I know your mom was a big influence on you. I know you posted something today about her and her determination and how she inspired you and showed you what determination looked like. So talk to me a little bit about that. I mean, I think my mom impacted me in more ways than I even really truly understand now. And I think now that she's passed away, it's been a few months and, you know, I still always reflect on what she showed me. My mom had a stroke when

she gave birth to me and she wasn't able to do physically the things with me that I would have love to do with her, like ski. She couldn't ride a bike. The only thing she really could do what she loved was swimming, which I'm ironically horrible at. I sink like a rock, but you know, my mom always tried and she failed, but she always tried. She would try to ride a bike and I would watch her fall over and over and over again, but she always got back up and she always tried and she always had a smile and she always was positive. And even when, you know, she was in her hospital bed and she couldn't move her arms or legs, she was positive. And she said, you know, today is another great day. And it got harder and harder, but she never lost that perspective. And I felt

like when I was injured, I was lucky to have the opportunity to try again. You know, my mom didn't have that opportunity because of her stroke. So I think throughout my career, it's always given me a different sense of gratefulness that I think, you know, sometimes we lose sight of. I'm lucky to follow my passion every single day. I'm lucky that I'm walking and I'm, you know, while I hate running, I could run if I wanted to. It could always be worse. And, you know, we just have to be positive. And that's always what my mom taught me. And I'm very grateful for her influence. And again, while I didn't really fully understand it when I was growing up, I certainly understand it now. And I wish I'd had a little more time with her to be able to share more things with her.

Yeah. And I think you continue to understand it the longer we're without our moms. You know, when my mom passed away, I certainly was too young to even understand the impact. I remember be talking in this interview about somebody asking me why I'm so strong. And I remember talking because I saw the way my mother and my dad's dynamic was, and I didn't like that. And that is just so diminishing to my mother because my mother sacrificed so much, you know, to be our mother, to not, you know, she didn't get to live and pursue her dreams the way that I'm able to live and pursue my dreams. The reason I'm able to do that is because of my mother. And so I remember I was reading this book recently. It's called The Seven Deadly Sins.

We're having this author on. She's awesome. And it just talks about how we don't give our mothers enough credit for even just the time that they grew up and the time that they raised us in. It was so prohibitive for them. Yet here are people that are able to like live out their dreams and go after what they want, because our mothers were available to give us the allowance and the freedom to do that. And if they hadn't sacrificed what they had, and I don't think that's even just beginning to sink in for me. But I do feel like we talk a lot about, you know, people who've passed on on the show, and you know, I'm not sure how spiritual you are, but I know that you're open minded. And I feel like my relationship with my mother since she died is

stronger than it was when we were together on this earth. And there are so many moments where I just feel her presence so much guiding me and steering me like in this very sagacious worldly way, which she was not like when I was growing up, but that's exactly who she was. According to my brothers and sisters, I just never had the patience or the time to find that out about my mother, you know, because by the time she had me, she was older. So I have to say like the idea that relationships can even strengthen beyond them being here on earth I totally believe to be true yeah and I hope you feel that too and and are open to those signs and signals and like you know the stillness sometimes when you feel this another person's presence is really

just so powerful yeah my mom actually lost her mom when she was young as well and when she was in the hospital she said I want you after I'm gone to talk to me as if I'm there and I will be there and I will listen just like my mom was there listening to me and it gave me a lot of comfort and you know I whenever I want to call her I just I just talk to her and she's there oh yeah she is yeah it's so sweet I believe that our moms are there hopefully they're hanging out and your mom is teaching my mom something you know hopefully they're listening to the podcast right now while we're all fucking crying okay anyway thank you for sharing thank you for being candid I feel like we just had this moment.

We did. We were crying. The last time we saw each other, we were on the Kelly Clarkson show. Or no, was it Kelly? Yes, it was. Yes, it was. With Wolfgang Fuck. And we were talking about her book.

And she started crying. And then, of course, I started crying because it's contagious. And so now we just cry whenever we see each other. Okay. So anyway, we're going to take some callers. People are going to call in and we're going to give them some advice. And we've curated this episode to suit things that you would have experience with. Yes. And we'll take a break and grab some Kleenex and be right back.

There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, Shut up. Don't say anything.

Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.

This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here.

It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. We're back. Are we ready to continue? We're doing okay? Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay, great. Well, our first question comes from Rachel in Denver. And she obviously somehow a month before we talked about getting you on the show knew that you were going to come on. She manifested it. And so she says, thank you in advance for reading my letter. I'm

hoping Lindsey Vonn makes an appearance on the podcast so this question is written to both Chelsea and Lindsey. Dear Chelsea and Lindsey, I'm a 33-year-old single female living in the Denver area of Colorado with my dog, Hyde. My main hobbies are mountain biking and skiing, but I love staying active in general. A year ago, I ended a toxic long-term relationship. Even though it was a crazy past year, I was actually able to achieve one of my life goals, which was buying a second house and turning both of my houses into Airbnbs. It's been incredible to make the leap and finally do what I've been dreaming of. Owning and running these two businesses while still having my full-time job has allowed me to start saving for my second life goal, which is to take

a mini retirement before I'm 40 so I can travel the world mountain biking and skiing. This leads me, right? I love that. This leads me to my first question, which is, what are your tips for being a single solo female traveler? I want to be able to make new friends and ski and mountain bike wherever I travel to. In particular, how can I make friends with guys who like these activities without looking like I'm interested in them? My second question is, do you have any recommendations on a good ski jacket and bib combo? I've had my same ski outfit since college and it's starting to fall apart i took chelsea's advice and got some heated gloves this season they've been life changing so i'm curious what ski apparel brands you like best i want to look good but stay really

warm while out there rachel okay well let me answer the the last part first because lindsey sent me her fucking suit which is called core right by it's it's my head but lindsey designed it this is the best ski suit i have ever had it's two pieces but it has it's is it is it Gore-Tex or is it something stronger than Gore-Tex because I think I think it's something similar but stronger yeah because I have Gore-Tex suits and they're not like this and I love Arcteryx that's what I usually wear this is better than Arcteryx this not only keeps the cold the wet out it keeps the wind out it's somehow fucking windproof this suit and Whistler has very strange weather patterns so there's a lot of really like arctic blasts and it gets really cold most people

don't like to ski in that I love that but this keeps me warm and the scoot I mean this suit lindsey everyone stopped me i've never worn a suit so many days in a row that and then i wore this suit i know i actually noticed that i'm like wow she doesn't stop wearing it she must like it because you normally change like every single day which i do too so i get it but i appreciate the support that was like a great that was a great ad for my life it's just the best suit and i'm not full of shit i love it so much like i you literally wouldn't wear it if you didn't like it i 100% know that yes you do know that and i'll just all the details even around the knees like that little ruching and then like the bottom cuffs everything the pockets everything is perfect on this jacket

and when you ski like you know if you're protecting the back of your helmet which i learned like how to keep you know you always want to trap heat when it's really cold this suit is just like it's almost like a nasa suit that's how i felt like i just felt tougher so everybody who anybody who's listening that wants to ski yeah please look into her go find does it come in different colors or is that one color yeah I think it's a it's in like forest green and baby blue and yellow and black oh great oh perfect that's nice yeah so I'll have to send you some more colors so you can rotate instead of just having the green every single day although green's my favorite color so I do think you look great in that yeah that was that's a pretty color and let me know how that knee surgery goes also

because I'm interested in possibly replacing my knees at some point, both of them. Yes, you should. I mean, I know a lot of people that have had it and they've all raved about it. So I am very excited. I'm always limited with what I can do physically because of my knee.

And I'm excited to hopefully not have that in the future. Plus, you're so good at recovering from surgeries. Like, this is going to be a breeze from you. I can do my own rehab, basically. Okay, so the first part of that woman's question. Yeah. So the first part was, how does she get into groups and meet guys without her thinking they're into them? I don't. Right. Well, that's a separate issue. The first issue, first of all, is you should join Strata if you haven't, if you're not on Strata, because that's a great bike riding community where you could compare speeds, meet people, talk to people who are in the area that you're going to. if you don't want to go on these adventures by yourself there's always cycling groups you know in Mallorca I know there's tons of cycling groups that you can join as a single person

and find people that are also going to be single so that you're never really alone traveling because I think as a female it is more important to always surround yourself with some people that are going to be there you know whether they're friends or not it's just better not to be alone as a woman in some some parts of the world like the United States so I would definitely do that join strata if you're not already on that and all of these activities you're talking about whether it's skiing or whether it's biking you can always find these groups too like you know there's there's always like a social aspect for skiing there's also like in portillo chile there's you know groups that come down there's also singles women's week you know there's most ski resorts have you

know either a singles week or a women's only week you know there's a ton of groups that you can travel with and meet up with. So you're not by yourself, but you're with people that are equally excited to do what you want to do. Yeah. So that's the easy part. So get your ski suit, go on your trips, join all these clubs, and then come back with a husband or a wife. Perfect. Excellent. Well, our next question comes from Miranda and she's going to be joining us here on the Zoom. She's 28. Dear Chelsea, I'm a female golfer and constantly on the golf course. men make sexist comments toward me and my female friends. I usually just laugh off their quote unquote jokes, but it bothers me so much to the point where it negatively affects my game

and my desire to get on the course. I've asked a couple of women in my life for advice about this, but there are never any concrete ideas. I feel like Chelsea would have good tips on how I can put these men in their place or not let it affect me as much as it does. It happens almost every around that we get paired with older men. I absolutely love golf, but this aspect of it fills me with such anxiety that I wonder if continuing to play is even worth it. Miranda. Hi, Miranda. Hello. How's it going? Good. Our special guest is Lindsay Vaughn. So you have her today to give you advice as well. How are you? Good. How are you? Good. I normally cheer for Team Canada, but I can make an exception today. I think you'll have to. I think so.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. North America. We're all the same anyway. You're right. You're right. Well, Lindsay, do you want to start this one? Because I feel like you probably had a lot of experience with this kind of thing. Yeah, I definitely have. I honestly, I enjoy it. I use it to my advantage. And I love also self deprecation. So, you know, whatever guys throw at me, I usually make some self deprecating comment back or, you know, I hit them with I kind of flip it around on them. Or, you know, I don't know, I just find that the more I use it as like a positive, I always perform better when I was skiing when people made fun of me, especially men. I mean, I've been made fun of for literally everything. And I'm still being made fun of, which is kind of insane. Like I got comments because I was wearing a tight one piece suit the other day. And someone that I've known for a long time made a comment about how tight my suit was. and I was like you know what the guy's just jealous you know he's you know you know they're jealous of what I have and and again I don't take it personally which is obviously easier said than done but however you can flip it whether it's in your mind or it's a comment back to them the better and you know again use it to your advantage yeah that's a good point yeah I like that I like

the idea of using it to fuel you I mean listen if you're talking to me obviously I'm just going to go off on that guy and they're never going to say another thing to me again I knew that was coming I can't give you the language to do that but I mean you just give a dish up what they're dishing up right back at them because men can't handle what they say to women they can't fucking handle it they're sensitive and they're insecure insecure you wouldn't be making fun of somebody unless you were insecure you know what I mean especially when you haven't done anything to deserve that you're golfing I know I feel like by me not saying anything it almost compromises my comfort just to almost protect theirs which which I hate and the annoying thing is it normally happens when

like I normally only golf with one friend and when you only book a tea time for two people they always pair you with two other people and it's always two older men that are saying stuff to us the entire time so it's basically four hours of of this sometimes they're great and sometimes the groups are horrible and like they say stuff to us right when we start and then it just puts me in a shitty mood for the whole day but yeah you're right also the question is like why golf I feel like there could be a better sport no let's deconstruct this even more that's a good point I think it's that you're playing golf that's a good point I took it up during COVID you know what you get outside you have some drinks riding in a cart it's very fun I find it relaxing yeah

It sounds like you need to make two more friends, though, to do it with so that your day isn't ruined every day by these two idiots. So A, get some other friends, rope them into golfing. Actually, A, try and find a different sport. B, if you're going to stick to golfing, rope some other friends in so you don't have to deal with two guys you don't know.

Yeah, I have done that. And C, make sure you give it back to them. You know what I mean? They will cower. As soon as you level it up, men understand that the dynamic has shifted. As long as you're not saying anything, they're going to keep going in on you.

It's like a bully. and as soon as you turn around and say hey like this guy said to me the other day these guys invited me heli skiing I said no my knee's really blown like my knee was too swollen I go my knee hurts he goes oh your knee hurts I go yeah and I don't want to be seen skiing like you see that's good that was over that conversation ended and he never came back around if I hadn't done that he would have continued on and on and on but it's good to just kind of get some stuff in your arsenal that you can throw back at them and with men it's really not that difficult right you don't have to be that prepared for what they're talking about no you know yeah you're very right they're

always the stupidest jokes too they're not funny at all they're all terrible it's never it's like if you're gonna make a joke to make it a little bit funny entertaining something no it's always like a guy putts the ball not very far and he says to his friend like oh you hit that one with your purse so stupid yeah exactly you can come up with some good good lines in return yeah i can come up with something better than that. But it's just, I feel like it always throws me off guard every time, which is so strange because I should be used to it by now. Well, then you have to get more prepared. You have to go in there more prepared with the mission. Like today, I'm going to give it back. I'm going to serve it right back up to them. And just think about every woman that

you are helping by you using your voice, because the next time they run into a woman like you, they're going to be much less likely to harass her. So if you need that as an extra motivation, use it. That's a good point. And to your point, they're going to say the same jokes every time. So you're not going to have to come up with that many like clapbacks. It should be pretty easy, right? Yeah. Next time they say, oh, it looks like you hit that with your purse. You can say, well, it looks like you hit that with one of your balls.

There's lots of old man, bald jokes that you can make or, you know, intellectual jokes or the fact that we're in the year 2024. Is it 2023? 2023. Yeah. Yeah. So don't say 2024. That's an error next year.

That's fine. I've been thinking it was 2024 for like two years already. I don't know what I'm smoking. Well, we all know what I'm smoking. I know, that's a given. Also, try smoking pot while you're at the golf course. You won't give a shit about anything then. That's true.

About what they're saying. You'll be really focused on your game. Yeah, normally the drinking comes into play and it makes it a little easier. But it's just more annoying than anything. It's just irritating that people are still saying things like this. Yeah, but definitely don't let anyone decide how you're going to spend your time.

You're not going to not golf because guys are there. You're going to make sure that you're going to golf. You know what I mean? That you're going to be fine when guys are around. Right. as long as I don't pick another sport before then. Well, yeah. I mean, try volleyball or something. That seems like there's going to be more fun. Team sports are okay. I got a couple of those on lock, but you know, this is good for summer. It's good for summer. Oh yeah. Okay. Good.

Yeah. Awesome. Well, Miranda, please let us know what kind of comebacks you come up with and how it goes next time. All right. We'll do it. Can I say one thing before I leave? Chelsea and Catherine, I thought of you guys the other day because me and my friends were on our way to a ski trip. And my friend decided she would eat her breakfast in the car. And it consisted of hard boiled eggs. And right before I turned around, I saw her about to open the container and I prevented it from happening. But I could not believe she was going to eat them in the car. I could not believe that. The privacy of her car, of course. It was our car. I was my boyfriend was driving. I was in the front. Let's catch Lindsay up on this. So she's aware. Lindsay, it was revealed

to me late last year in 2023 that Catherine travels regularly on planes with a Ziploc bag of hard-boiled eggs that have been peeled and then and eats them because they're they're a good source of protein I said it is true however they do smell like hard-boiled eggs so eggs smell like feet yeah they smell like ass but i think you know maybe maybe eat them before you get on the plane because they are a good source of protein but like spare your seat mate when you're in an enclosed vehicle agreed i made her eat them in the parking lot she was standing in the parking lot eating them because i i mean that's a fair that's a fair bring some peanut butter or something like a peanut butter stick like that's better that's not offensive to anyone everyone loves

peanut butter almonds don't smell except all the kids that are allergic to peanut butter on planes yeah there's many options I flew home from somewhere yesterday and they put down a thing of those almonds and I'm just like those are the most unappealing almonds I've ever seen like I was just like what I was just like unsalted I know and I just looked at them I'm like I don't even want one you know like almonds when they're hot on a plane are good when they don't do that and they just throw some mix together I'm like no no back the fuck up bring my snacks anyway so grab your almonds and grab your peanut butter. Don't grab your eggs, head to the golf course and stand up for yourself. Yes. Or I do grab my eggs and no one will go near me.

There you go. Yeah, exactly. My love to your friend. I'm sure you would. You guys would get along well. Awesome. Thanks so much for calling in Miranda. Take care. See ya. Bye. Yeah. I don't know why anyone golfs anyway. I find golfing to be so boring. It seems I can confirm it's very boring. Oh, right. Exactly. You know what I've been watching is that full swing documentary docuseries. Do you know about this on Netflix? Oh, yeah. It's actually makes golf somewhat interesting. Yes. I was going to say the same thing because I was like, oh, this is something I know nothing about. Let me watch a couple of episodes. And it's a lot about Jordan Spieth. And they have a couple of players that are like on the up and up. Yeah. Jordan's great. I mean,

I love Jordan. He's an Under Armour guy and I've known him for a long time. yeah there's some i mean there's some good people and i think you just don't see their personalities when they're playing which is why i think other sports are more engaging but i think that this is showing actually a good side of golf so good on them and also break point have you seen the tennis one break point i've seen a couple episodes of that and then the formula one also i haven't seen that yet because that's i'm less interested in formula one than i am in golf but i'm gonna get to it because that's another sport where i'm not paying attention and i don't It's supposed to be really good, though.

I thought you would love Formula One. It's like skiing. It's speed. It's like adrenaline. Yeah, but there's a lot of mechanics. It's very mechanical. Actually, not really. Well, the way they talk about cars and the pit,

I like the attitude and the strategy and the winning championship vibe. I love that. You know what is also great about full swing is it's great to see the ebb and flow of a career because you're never at your height all the time. There's highs and there's lows. And it's always like the underdog that comes in, you know, and wins when you least expect it. And the people that have been revered or celebrated the most always end up not forever, but they always dip and they have their troubles too. So it's never like just some static road where it's just an ascent. You know what I mean? It's honestly really cool because it's kind of like every athlete has their own little mini documentary. And to your point of ebbs and flows, no career in any sport, I don't care who you are, is always at the top. And I think it humanizes athletes and shows you how hard it is to be consistently at the top. I mean, again, no one's at the top forever, but to be able to come back every time you go down is really hard. So I love these little shows. I mean, again, they're like mini documentaries for

every athlete and that gives every athlete a lot more credit because honestly, most people don't quite understand the difficulty. Yeah. And it's not, you know, there's a lot of similarities, you know, in my business, there are dips and there are valleys and there are struggles and it is exactly how you behave in those moments that make you a champion you know it's it's how you pick yourself back up and how you succeed again after you've fallen or you failed or what you deem as failure or you haven't placed it's very inspiring to watch these kinds of shows because it's just it's really about it's a commentary on life and you know competitiveness and I mean there aren't a lot of industries or businesses that you don't have some aspect

of competitiveness in there absolutely no I totally agree The Jonas Brothers are running it back. We live the Burning Up Tour and celebrate the biggest Jonas Brother hits that have defined a generation. One incredible celebration. One unforgettable night. See the Jonas Brothers live at RBC Amphitheater, September 28th. Get tickets now at Ticketmaster.ca. Jonas Brothers, the Burn It Up Tour, all over again.

When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, Shut up. Don't say anything. every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't

stories about what's taken from them they're stories about what it takes to make it out alive Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself

because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is

and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, our next question comes from Lana. And this is a bit of a relationship-y question. I'm 24 and I've been with my boyfriend for three and a half years this summer we'll be moving in

together for the first time in a new city with new jobs within the next year or so I expect to be engaged to him our dynamic has always been the same I'm very affectionate both physically and verbally I've been told it's like I don't leave the honeymoon phase and he's always kind caring supporting me emotionally showing up for me helping me whenever I ask and taking me out on nice dates He just doesn't express to me verbally how he feels. He'll tell me he loves me when I say goodbye or when I prompt it, but usually no sweet words come unprompted. I'm not 100% sure what's triggering this now, but recently I've been feeling insecure about how we display our love to each other and how it feels disproportionate. To me, the perfect partner would be able to show their love through all love languages because they want to.

Gift giving, verbal affection, physical affection, acts of service are all things I provide when I truly and deeply love someone without having to think about it. Is this an unrealistic view to expect the same? I've talked to him about this, and he says my feelings are valid, that he's always felt I have more affection toward him than he has for me. This hurt to hear, but he assures me that he loves me and is in love with me. He just doesn't feel affection for anyone as deeply as I do. He told me that he used to feel very deeply growing up, but that changed after going through painful heartbreaks and dealing with a close loss as a young adult. Is it wrong for me to find this outlook sad and to want more from him in terms of verbal and physical affection,

even though he checks all the other boxes? I'm torn because I know I can find many men who will say sweet things to me, but they don't actually care. Is it just an insecurity on my part needing to know how he truly feels because of the next steps we'll be taking soon. Lana. Hi, Lana. Hi. Hi, how are you? I'm doing good. And you are 24, you said, right? Yes, I am. Okay, so the only thing that struck me in your letter, if you hadn't said this part, which was he used to be affectionate with other people and then he got his heart broken, which is the reason he's giving you for not having as much affection as you, is kind of like, oh, so he has the capability, but he's chosen to shut down rather than open up so that doesn't make a lot of sense because if he really

felt like you were the one and you guys are supposed to be together I would imagine that that would be burst open again you don't really we don't really have control over who we fall over that aside it does sound like you're expecting from him what you're giving out and that's not a fair thing to do in a relationship you can't expect the partner to give what you what you want to give or that your partner is going to be great at all four love languages like that's just not realistic at all. Actually, if I can interject, there are five love languages. And the one that you left out, Lana, was quality time, which is the thing that he is really giving you. And that may be the way he expresses his love languages. Sorry to interrupt. Oh, no, I'm glad you did. I

mean, I had no idea there were five because I haven't read that fucking book. I've only heard about it nonstop for the last 10 years. That's the thing is, I think everybody hears like the Instagram snippets of it. Oh, I'm thinking of the four agreements. That's what I'm thinking of. Got it. But yeah, you know, the thing about the love languages is it's about finding out what each person's actually is and expressing love to them through that. Like maybe yours is more heavily these verbal little sweet things that he might say and his maybe quality time. So it's just a mismatch and figuring out how to encourage him to give you what you need and you to give him what he needs. Okay. Is it wrong to like specifically ask for that? Like that's what

I've been doing in the past few weeks because I wrote in this email after we had like a little bit of not an argument, but a discussion. And then I kind of circled back to him later after I kind of decompressed. And I was kind of saying like growing up, I didn't get verbal affection or physical affection from my parents. And just thinking about living my whole life, not getting that is like really sad so I have been just asking for it like hey like when you're done can you come here and like give me a cuddle or something cuddle me I don't know if that's not romantic or if that's like being needy it's communicating what you need from your partner and I think that's great and what if he's not able to deliver it though right and there have been times recently

where he has been so stressed out with being on the job market and everything where he has been like I'm not really in the mood to be really affectionate right now I'll spend time with you and we'll have dinner together but I'm not going to be as loving as you want me to be right now and I think as long as that's communicated I'm okay with that but it is still kind of hard to be like well what if what if there is a perfect person where he would act this way towards well first of all there's no perfect person like there's no one that's going to do all the love languages and that's perfect but at the same time if you're communicating what you need to him and he's not able to give that to you you're young you can't spend the rest of your life feeling like you

need something else so I think if there's that hole and I felt it before myself if you're not if you have needs that aren't being met and that's just the character of the person that you're with then it's just a mismatch you know and again you're really young it's fine to move on and start over but if you have a hole and it's not being filled that's never going to get filled you're never going to change someone if they can't do what you're you're needing them to do then it's just not going to work yeah like I want to say I am a little bit like I think your boyfriend and I have been in relationships with people who have been very needy of affection and time and like lots of cuddling and kissing and I can give only so much like I it's not a

reflection of how I feel about them it's a reflection of like I'm very comfortable in my own space and in my own skin and when I'm needed like that you know if I wanted to be needed like that I would have become a mother like I don't I don't like when I feel needed so I can kind of relate to you know it's just a different set of importance around you like what I value I also don't like gifts. Like I don't care if I ever get a gift in the world. Again, it doesn't matter to me. Those things don't matter. So I'm about like, I like time spent. That's how I spend time with my friends, my family, everyone I love is about quality time. So I think, you know, there's two sides of this argument. I think you are really young and 24 years old. I really think you probably

are going to want some more experiences in your life. Like as you, I know that's probably not how you're feeling right now, but it's really the truth of the matter from three women who are older than you you're going to want a little bit more experience it's like she's not getting what she needs so she has to ask what she needs also you have to respect that this person isn't built like you you don't have the same brain you don't have the same likes dislikes all of that so I think it's somewhere in the middle you know you have to kind of figure out like what's make or break how often do you need a hug and if you do really need that all the time then you should find someone who's going to give it to you right and back to the point where I said he was saying

that he used to be like really loving and relationships that was also back in high school so I don't know if that's like a fair comparison because he was saying oh I was getting all this advice from girls to text my girlfriend I love you every day and good night gorgeous and he obviously figured out that's not what you're supposed to do so I don't know if it's really like trauma why he's closed off or it's just him growing up but I I do think it would be good for him to kind of go to a therapist and explore that because I don't know if he's really explored that she mentioned that he also had a loss of someone close to him as well yeah I mean he could that could be it I mean but you know is he going to go to therapy is he open to that like have you

discussed that I have discussed that he thinks that he is generally okay and he's like the strong one for all the other people in his life and that he would be open to therapy if something bad happened or something traumatic happened. But I'm of the belief that anyone can use therapy at all times. So I don't know if you can really convince someone of going to therapy without them feeling they need to. No, and there's no point like there's no point in forcing somebody to go to therapy. It has to be their idea. Otherwise, they're not going to absorb anything that they're going there for. Right. I almost thought about, you know, now that we're getting super serious, I am going to be moving to a whole different state with him. We've been together for four

years and so now it's like finally becoming real like I if I do this move with him next step in a few years is maybe getting engaged and I was thinking well maybe I should say like if I'm going to get married to you I want you to be open to therapy but I don't know if that's a fair ultimatum I think that's fair I mean we live in 2023 or sometimes 2024 you know have you tried golfing he actually used to be on the golf team oh okay well he's tried it we just had a golfer call in so I there's some similarities here well not very many actually but I just thought golfing was something that I should bring up again as far as the therapy goes maybe it's you two going together like maybe there's something there maybe it's not just like you have to go

yeah it's good to get a third person involved in this because I don't want to qualify you as needy because you're saying what you want which is good but you might be coming across as needy and that might be rubbing him the wrong way and then you're creating like a chasm so it's like if he could modify his behavior a little bit and you could modify yours and meet in the middle which would be like what would happen in therapy ideally is somebody saying okay this is you got to compromise then I feel like you would have more of a like workable dynamic instead of you feeling ignored or slighted you know I feel like that might be a good option for you to bring up yeah especially since you're moving that's a perfect excuse we're moving to a new state we've

never lived here before there's going to be lots of pressure there's going to be lots of opportunity I want to stay grounded and I would love to have like a way for us to just make sure we're always ahead of our problems you know therapy is great when you're going through something but it's even better when you have the tools before you go through that so hang your hat on that and make it couch it in that and then when you get in there you can get into these issues that's actually a really you're so smart Josie yeah I think so too right in this moment I was like wow why didn't you think of that earlier brilliant great yeah problem solved awesome well Lana let us know how it goes let us know how the move goes as well yeah we'll do i really like your idea chelsea

because we're also going to be living together for the first time so that's also perfect yeah yeah yeah you you don't want to screw this up you want to succeed blah blah blah blah let's go to therapy right for sure i like that idea well thanks so much for your suggestion yeah yeah absolutely awesome well you know how it goes okay take care a lot of good luck oh she's a baby i know i wanted to go break up with him like fucking it's your 24 you need to find a new boyfriend i wanted to be like we all felt so needy at 24 like man i know i know i got married at 22 bad idea oh shit i always forget you were married it's so weird i know we don't need to talk about it but you know i always want to say whenever anyone in their 20s asked me for

advice I'm like whatever you do just don't get married yeah exactly I mean 24 you're so needy I used to I had a boyfriend I remember who I was talking to over this weekend actually because he was texting me and I used to beg him like I would be like I wanted to sleep at his house every night he lived up the street from me in Santa Monica and I would go over there every night and I remember once he was like hey do you have to sleep over every single night and I was like yeah I'm your girlfriend obviously you know now as I'm sitting here as a 48 year old woman I'm like oh how So annoying, you know, to not be able to go, oh, sure, you need space. Let me I won't sleep over a few nights a week that if you know, when somebody asks you for space, you have to fucking respect that and give them double like let let them have their space.

So, yeah, I think there's a there's a neediness that comes in your 20s. You really want this fairy tale that you think is going to happen. There is no fairy tale. It's like going to the Eiffel Tower. I went with my boyfriend when I was 21 to Paris and I just had this vision of like what our trip was going to be like. and he was british and i was still american and i was 21 he was 34 and we went to london and we stayed in a hotel room and the bathroom was inside the bedroom there was no separate bathroom and i was like this is not how that's a great way to end things yeah yeah we didn't speak the entire trip

to paris there were pictures of me alone at the eiffel tower and him alone at the eiffel tower and the louvre and every other thing that you saw and the shops de laison because princess die had just died there. And the Plaza Athenae, just us not speaking because I was so disappointed in this fantasy that I had created in my mind that had never shown proof of life. You know what I mean? It's just like proof of life. Yeah. There's no, I mean, we just, we're not as fantastical when we're older. We get it. Yeah. Just more real. We've been disappointed enough. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Well, let's take a quick break and we'll be back to wrap up. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple.

Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at BelAirDirect.com. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me.

I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. but these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page

are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.

I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself.

So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with Lindsey Vonn and Catherine to wrap up today's episode, which was good. This was a great episode. Yeah, absolutely. You gave good advice. Lindsay gave good advice. Lindsay, you look fucking beautiful, by the way. Ridiculously so. I was just sitting there looking at you going, wow, you're looking real good.

You're just like in a hotel glowing. Yeah. Yeah, this lovely hotel is really making me glow over here. All Orlando hotels are beautiful. So pretty. Well, Lindsay, is there any advice you'd like from Chelsea? Yeah, do you want any skiing advice from me, Lindsay? Yes. How do you ski so damn well, Chelsea, in your bikini?

I've always wanted to, how do you like not freeze your tits off? Like, that's what I want to know, because I can't even handle being in my ski clothes, let alone like basically naked. But that's not my question. That was just something I'm curious about. But my actual question is how do you, because you love skiing and obviously I love skiing, but you work so hard. How do you manage both things?

Like, how do you manage getting time to do what you love? And how do you manage being a boss? I just I'm like listen if I don't get to ski for a good solid two months a year then I'm not worth anything the rest of the year so I will work all summer long I'll tour and I'll do that stuff and then I have to have my time to ski because it's just so important for me it's my only real passion besides what I do and reading books and stuff like I love skiing you know the way you talk about it is the way I feel about it I always want to be on the mountain I always want to get up and I mean my friends call like they're just like you're so ridiculous like I'm outside my door waiting for

them to come get me well before we go to the and I've got my outfit on like I've got everything ready my gloves my skis and my phone and I'm just sitting there waiting at the ski lift like at the you know we walk to the little run and I'm just like an eager beaver and they're like you're just so excited I'm like yeah I'd like to go out at 8 30 and get like three or four runs before anyone else comes out and then I like to ski with my friends but I I feel like we talked about this earlier or on the other episode, you know, I think for when you're in the public eye in the way that we both are, there's so much attention on you and your life is so much about you and you're so self-involved that it's so necessary to actually have other interests that don't require it being

about you. So for you, it would probably be something other than skiing to do that doesn't remind you of the main event in your life. And I always make sure that I take myself out of my comfort zone and I'm trying different things so that I remain normal, like a human being that's constantly growing and evolving and not just spinning around in this little hubris that is our lives. Yeah. Okay. That's a good point. I mean, I play tennis. I love tennis. What about golf? Have you thought about golfing? I think you should take up golf. That feels like the missing hole. So many puns in that. So many. So many puns. How do you also manage to change of subject how do you also manage being away from your dogs well I mean that's just out of

good parenting it's better that they're not with me in Whistler because they like to be at home in LA where they can go in and out of the house they just prefer that and I took them to Whistler and they're just too old for that so the next round of dogs I get I will make sure they're younger and they're more adept and then I will bring them to Whistler but I'm just trying not to torture them because last time I brought them they were like what is snow I didn't like it I'm pretty sure they're from Mexico because everything is pointing to that. They only understand my bell and they like hot, warm weather. So I think that they're, yeah, I think they're from South America. I'm going to get one of these mountain dogs that like just wants to live in the snow.

Maybe you need like a, I need a part-time dog for the winter and then I need a dog for summer. That's what I need to do to split my time up. Thank you, Lindsay, for taking the time to do this. I really appreciate it. And you know, I love you and I hope you have a great rest of your day in Orlando. I think it's going to really be balls to the wall. I mean, might as well. Maybe I'll hit up Disneyland while I'm at it. Yeah. Nothing better than an adult going to Disneyland with no children. Exactly. Not creepy at all. Well, thank you. I love you. And I appreciate you having me on. Yeah. Thank you so much. We'll speak soon, Lindsay. Bye. Bye. And don't forget, everybody, my new special revolution is now streaming on Netflix and it's badass. And then

I'm doing a tour, a little big bitch tour. Go to chelseahandler.com for tickets. I've added some new dates. I added a date in Monticello, New York. I'm coming to Colorado, to Red Rocks Amphitheater. I'm coming to Kalamazoo. And then I'm coming to a bunch of places in Tennessee, Memphis, Knoxville, and Chattanooga. That's May 19th, 20th, and 21st. And then I'll be in Atlantic City, June 10th, which is almost filled out. So get your tickets. If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at dearchelseapodcast at gmail.com. and be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert,

executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at chelseahandler.com. I survived nine months in captivity and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, Abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.

These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.

Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B.

I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast.

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