Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - Underwater Boyfriend with Jason Biggs
Episode Date: September 14, 2023Chelsea is joined by Jason Biggs to talk about why travel is a value, a Chelsean adventure that landed Jason on a boat surrounded by sharks, and the crossroads of ayahuasca and sobriety. Then: A boyfr...iend likes kids… he just doesn’t want them. A 30-something smarts whenever she catches her husband looking at thirst traps. And a wife bemoans a husband who’s bad at communication - and even worse in bed. * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at DearChelseaPodcast@gmail.com * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees. This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all. Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Hi, hi, hi.
Hi, Chelsea.
Hi.
So, Chelsea, I know I just got back from Mexico with two of my girlfriends.
and I know for me
there are certain people
that like I don't even want
to spend a whole day
at Disneyland with
but I like them
they're my friends
these couple of girls
I have a great time with
and I'm curious
for you
because you travel
with people all the time
what do you think
sets apart somebody
that you know
you want to travel with
or you know will be good
to travel with
versus someone who won't be
well you can't be annoying
first of all
you know what I mean
like first of all
you have to be self-sufficient
and be able to be on your own
like when you're traveling
you can't be dependent on the other person
the entire trip like there are moments
that you need to stop and chill out
like go to the gym or read a book
for an hour or whatever so that's
I think one criteria
like the neediness you know what I mean
you're already on vacation together
you don't need to do every fucking single
thing together but it's
different if you're on like an active vacation
or if you're like at you know like
when I'm at my house in Mallorca and I bring
people or invite people in like we're usually together as a group yeah doing stuff for the most
part yeah it's random that people are doing their own thing unless you bring two wrong groups
together which I've done and then yeah so I don't know I think it's always nice to just mix big
groups I've only had I honestly have had maybe I could count on one hand the bad combo platters
I've put together on trips.
It's happened once recently.
And then one year, yeah, my birthday trip was just a hot mess.
And I invited all the wrong people.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
And I just was like fucking paying for it the whole time because everyone was not like
into each other.
Not clashing.
It was just like I just I just hadn't planned my birthday until the last minute, which is
the way I do things.
So I invited just randomly and it wasn't the right group.
It's hard to find a group of people that are all going to gel together.
But it's not, actually. Like, if you're not an asshole, you can pretty much get along with anybody for a fucking week. Like, unless somebody is really riling you up and going off on you, like, I'm sorry, I've been on, I mean, I don't go on other people's vacations very often. I'm going to be honest for that reason. So I get it. That is a thing. But I also think when you are at someone's house, like, you do behave yourself.
Yeah. You know what I mean? You're not going to have arguments with other people or not get along with other people like I wouldn't do that. I would figure it out and make it work for a week to be a good house guest. Yeah. I take a lot of pride in that, which is why I don't do it very often. So I prefer to arrange the vacation and bring people along. And I mean, I guess your family is the only one that everyone can be like our family. You can be a dick and it's fine to say the fighting can happen.
But we don't fight.
I only fight with my sister-in-law, Olga, about politics.
Everyone else in our family is on the same page, right?
So I just have to withdraw from her.
But we don't fight as a family.
And I guess we're pretty lucky that way because you do hear about a lot of discord within families.
But there are some people that I've definitely left vacations early when I've been in a situation where I'm like, uh-oh, this is not what I was envisioning.
Yeah.
Yeah. And speaking of people to be on vacation with, I've vacationed with our guest a couple of times. He and his wife and their baby came with me to Whistler one year for our ski trip. And then we went on a trip together overseas. And I think we've been on one other trip together.
Anyway, yeah, he's somebody that's good to travel with. I mean, when they don't bring their kids, let's be honest, you know, I'm not, I don't need that.
Yeah, no kids.
I don't need that.
I think parents need to get away from the kids too.
Yeah, I have a good gay couple that I used to go everywhere with.
Like, my boyfriend and I met him, this was years ago, this couple, Kevin and Brian,
and we went on, like, eight or nine vacations together.
Work trips and vacations, and that was a great combo.
Right.
Yeah.
And then did they ruin it by having a kid?
Yeah, they had twins.
Dang.
So I haven't been on vacation with them since.
Shout out to Kevin and Brian.
And today's guest is my very old, dear, hilarious friend who is married to another hot mess.
Right. And that's Jenny Mullen, who guested back in June of 2022.
Mr. Jason Biggs.
Hello.
Hi, hi.
Hi, penis face.
What's up, cut?
Welcome to the podcast, Jason Biggs. Jason Biggs is a very old friend of mine. We have had many,
many, well, humiliating experiences together. Isn't that right, Jason?
What is your fondest memory that we have experienced together? Let's not start with
most humiliating? Because, well, I know what mine is, but we're not going to talk about that on this
podcast. But what's your fondest memory of us as a couple? Hold on. I need to know, why won't we
talk about yours? I'm curious if ours actually sync up. Also, my fondest could be the most
humiliating. Those also might sync up. Right, right. Well, I think our fondest, if I was going
to encapsulate the fondest memory, there have been so many. I mean, I'm sure I've forgotten half of
the times that we've spent together. You know what I mean? I have a tendency for forgetfulness.
Jason actually has a better memory than I do because he doesn't drink like I do.
Anymore. Anymore. Right, right, right.
Like you said, old friendship. I mean, we go back.
To the pre-drinking days.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. When things were really jumping off. Yes.
Exactly. In fact, I have to say, I'm really impressed that we've maintained such a wonderful
friendship even in my post-partying days. I mean, there are people in my life obviously that knew me
pre-sobriety, but I just feel like nothing's changed with you and I, which I love. I feel
like if anything, our relationship has gotten stronger. I feel like I've seen a lot more of
you weirdly since I moved to New York in a certain way. Isn't that funny? Isn't that funny how that
happens? You have friends that live in the same city and then you rarely see them and then they
move to New York and then you see them every time you go to New York. A hundred percent. Well,
it's great. Well, you always give us a heads up when you're here, which I love. I think that's
fantastic. And we love seeing you and we love when you pay for dinner. It's great.
But I think there's one memory that I'm constantly reminded of online. And it's usually from haters.
It's never in a positive light, even though for me, the memory is just wonderful,
was on that incredible boat trip that you very generously took Jenny and I and a bunch of
your other friends on. And I may have urinated on you while you were swimming in the ocean.
He, yeah, he did urinate on me. And hey, which I obviously do not care about because any parent
knows that urine is urine. And I consider myself a parent. Any parent worth their salt has been
urinated on. But his was more directed at me like it wasn't an accident. And I wasn't changing his
diaper. He actually I was I had jumped off the boat and he was about to get in the boat. And
he just started peeing on the ocean and then just peed on my head. And I was laughing so hard
because it was so stupid. And someone recorded it. Jenny had recorded it. Yeah, Jenny was recording
it. And then Jenny posted it, of course. But because you were laughing so hard, I'm pretty
sure I ended up doing just like in the clown's mouth at the carnival game. I think I got you
right, right down the goal. And then it was crazy. A big balloon blew up on top of your head.
Yeah, yeah. I pulled my ripcord. And so then I then I floated off into space. It's like when
you go heli skiing you have a parachute on your back anyway i'm not scared of urine like most
people are i guess and so jenny was like can i post this and i said sure who cares and then now
to this day i get republicans going you're a dirty whore who allowed yourself to get urinated on
instead of seeing instead of seeing the wonderful humor in the situation what's interesting is that
Jenny asked you, uh, if she could post, she never asked me. Yeah, exactly. Well, I'm sure you're not
getting that. Are you getting a lot of, did you ever get a lot of backlash for urinating on me
or a lot of prey? Yeah, no, no, no backlash. I'm saying I still, to this day, and you're right.
It's usually, um, across a political line to certain person that will write in and just
remind me, I'd say once every couple of weeks, I'll just see something in my mentions Instagram
and or twitter where it's like yeah never forget you know hashtag never forget you you peed on
chelsea's face i mean it's just and every time i read a comment i chuckle i do too actually i think
to myself what was i thinking allowing someone to post that and then i think to myself again
who gives a shit who gives a shit there's so many memories though chelsea i mean you know it's
interesting jenny and you go even further back obviously and i met jenny in 2007 and i think i
met you pretty soon after meeting jenny i mean it was in those first couple of months i mean shit we
were married like after knowing each other for a few months but but i think right away we started
hanging and you had you just got the e-show i think you were maybe like first season or something
it was early days i mean and you were like killing it and you were doing all these wonderful trips
and parties and we were very lucky to be included we had some some great times i mean the boat trip
was for sure one of the one of the all-timers but you know i'll still run into people that were at
your party in uh cabo like random people that i have no and they'll be like you know chelsea
don't you i was like yeah i know chelsea we're friends she's uh you know we've known each other
a long time yeah i think i met you in cabo at her party i said there were so many people at that
party. And I was so fucked up that entire long weekend. I mean, yeah, so many people I saw naked
by accident slash on purpose. A lot of people I did drugs with that I didn't think even did drugs.
Yeah. A lot of nudity all around the, one of the great highlights of our scuba diving trip,
which is the one we were referring to where the urination episode happened. Jenny and Jason are
very bona fide scuba divers. They have spent a lot of time underwater. Are you guys master divers?
not master we are advanced open water we actually haven't gone in a few years but no that's really
are you a master diver did you get your you saw my performance diving i'm not anything and first
of all they have to take out the word master diver i don't think that works anymore either
it's like master bedroom you have to be a primary diver what about master bait do we have to change
that to primary baiting no because that's totally different and there's a you so it's not the same
thing but i did masturbate this summer i went when i was in mallorca i went on three dives because
Sophie who you know my good girlfriend her sister Alex is a real diver she dives all over the world
as well so she was coming to Mallorca and I was like she wanted to dive and I said sure let me get
you know warmed up again so I went on three dives but Jason was there when I went on my first like
eight dives because the French Polynesia trip was like we would go on two dives a day so everyone
was diving and it was my first introduction into diving and I had probably the closest thing to a
panic attack that I've ever had, which was being underwater, seeing a very large shark underneath
my feet. And then my cousin, Molly, grabbing my ankle to show me the shark. So the two combo
platters of someone grabbing my leg and then looking down and seeing the size of the shark
that was underneath me, which was easily eight to 10 feet. I immediately just couldn't understand
what was, I had to go up. I had to go up. I thought the shark had me. Then I saw my cousin.
And I tried to kick her underwater, which anyone knows that doesn't work.
And then this are one of our divers that we were, you know, with two guys were helping us right for the whole group.
And there were 10 of us.
And one of the divers came right over to me because I couldn't clear my goggles.
I was starting to kind of hyperventilate and he grabbed me by the shoulders and he just started gesticulating the breathing, like to calm down, like breathe in, breathe out.
And he was holding my hands and I was looking into his eyes.
And I was like, I'm, I'm going to fuck this guy, you know, like he just saved my life
and he's calming me down.
And this man, I'm going to have to show my love by penetration afterward.
And afterward he, we did the rest of the dive holding hands while Jason and Jenny were giving
me the finger underwater, telling me I was such a baby and I had an underwater boyfriend.
I was excited.
Like I was like, okay, this is my underwater boyfriend.
And then when we get up, when we got up from the sea of life to the natural world and we were above water, he took off all of his contraptions.
And I was like, oh, I'm not going to fuck this guy.
Like that was we if we were going to have sex, it would have been underwater.
The goggles did a lot of work.
Yeah. So that was a bullet dodged.
But also, you know, one of my typical signature styles of behavior, someone helps me and then I feel attracted to them.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, my God.
That was that was kind of amazing.
meanwhile speaking of sharks i forget how this came up chelsea was talking to jenny about this
great white shark dive trip chelsea i believe had found out about it had spoken to someone who was
involved in this charity you could basically pay in it's all charitable like a scientific research
trip. Yes. That you could kind of tag along for. Yeah. And Chelsea was like, I'm doing this. Do
you guys want to go? This was after I think the Polynesian trip. So she was super into the diving.
Guadalajara, I believe, right? It was somewhere in Guadalajara. You go on a science boat.
Yeah. You leave from San Diego and you go out to this Guadalupe Island in Mexico.
Oh, Guadalupe. I knew it was Guad.
yeah it was a guad it was a guad and uh yeah it's this big great white shark one of the quads
one of the quads yeah it was a big great white shark breeding ground and chelsea got us in we're
like oh fuck yeah we're definitely doing that chelsea's like cannot wait this is gonna be so
awesome and i don't know in my memory it was it was a couple like we had planned it for a little
while and it was a couple weeks before the trip we had booked our flights everything was a go
we were flying out we were going to stay with jenny's mom who lives in san diego we had a
baby sid was really little and chelsea talks to jenny or me or both it's like uh yeah i don't
know what i'm thinking this sounds awful it's a 24-hour boat ride out to this island again
information that we knew from the very beginning but she just decided to not let it didn't absorb
and so she's like for the record no no excuse me for the record i just want to say i don't
look at details about things until they come closer.
So whether that information was available or not,
I don't,
I'm not contesting that,
but I am going to say that I wouldn't have been privy to that information
until it came closer.
And then I start to look at details and I start to look at pictures of where
we're staying.
Right.
On a science boat.
Yeah.
This is not an excuse,
Chelsea.
I mean,
this is again,
this,
all of this information was readily available months and months prior when we
got,
when you got us excited and by the way chelsea and i live in different economic brackets for sure
but it wasn't a small lump of change i mean this was like a nice donation to go on this trip
and she's like i'm out i'm out did you guys see the boat like this thing is disgusting
and it's a 24-hour trip and the water's insane apparently and where i'm out and what happened
on our end i'm like wait what really is this all gonna fall apart jenny was like chelsea's right
i'm out too this is horrible i don't know what we're thinking this is this boat looks terrible
so now she's gone so now we're left i'm like what's gonna happen in the end your cousin stepped
up molly stepped up and well molly was always going molly was going always and and dara i said
molly you take a friend so dara who you know katherine we were in mallorca with her this
summer we we dara who used to work with me on my netflix show she went with molly was and by the
way did you did you end up going yes yes we're such good friends chelsea and i uh we've known
each other so long and really well i wasn't there so i mean you expect me to remember moments i
wasn't even there fucking hell yes i went and i ended up getting a friend to go like days before
i was able to find somebody because because jenny was also like i'm out i'm out chelsea is right
this boat looks like shit it's gonna sink and i don't want to go when we have we have one kid i
should stay back with the kid in case you sink and die so i found a friend and it ended up being
fantastic dara's the best molly and i we had the best time my buddy was great like we ended up
having an incredible trip it's a life highlight for sure but yeah it all sort of came together
in a very chelsea and way where it was like this is the next big adventure we are doing this and
we're all like yes and then she's like i have fun guys i'm out but also dara was seasick from the
time they left i don't get seasick but i think on this kind of adventure you might get seasick
she was sick she lay in her bed and it was a bunk bed a cement bunk bed so i was right not to go
i was right not to go because i would not have been okay with that like i need the right pillow
tops you brought maxi pads that's what you used we just learned a whole bunch of maxi
jason always has maxi pads on him always actually i prefer the term maxi shield
Anyway, yes, that's a good story.
I'm glad you brought that up, Jason.
I have a question for you because I know that you and Jenny just came back from one of your adventures.
And now that you're traveling with two small children, well, one of them isn't so small anymore, but they're technically smaller children.
They're not legal.
How is that going for you?
Because it looks crazy.
Yeah.
at the end of every trip that we take with the boys, Jenny and I say with complete conviction
to each other that we are never going to do it again. There is no way we can take them. It ends
up being just not fun for us. And it's just a waste of money and time and energy. And we're
never going to do it again. And then we're like monkeys touching the electric fence. A couple
weeks later we're like where should we go next i will say this last trip that we took uh we went
to dominican republic on their spring break it was the first time that it felt okay we were hopeful
like there weren't too many major inconveniences because of their age because of their fighting
because of the time and all that it was the first trip where you go oh okay i think we're maybe on
the other side of it but you know fool me once i'm sure where it's gonna the next trip we take
is gonna be a disaster it's hard i mean it's very hard but we like you we love travel for us just
like you chelsea i believe we have this in common like travel is the number one thing in our lives
it is how we learn we want to learn we're curious people and we love doing it and it's it is where
we spend our money it's our luxury and we like doing it and like we always said we were never
going to let the kids get in the way of that and they're for the first couple years though you know
we would still we would still what we should have done i think was sort of edited the kinds of trips
that we took been a little bit less ambitious but right off the gate we were like no we're not going
to not go to europe germany we have kids now fuck that but in the end we probably should have just
went to nantucket you know or the shore like we would have had fun it wouldn't have been as big
of a put out for us in every way. But I think we're finally on the other side of it because
our boys are now both, I think, at an age where you're seeing their curiosity about the places
we go to. They're better with jet lag, obviously. That was always a huge part of it. And I think
they're getting better. So I don't know. I'll keep you posted. We're going back to Europe over
the summer. So we'll see. One other memory before we get started is for anyone listening,
because I know the ayahuasca episode is one of the most popular that I did for the Chelsea Does
series. That was with Jason's wife, Jenny. So the woman in that episode, along with my other friend,
Dan, was Jenny. And Jenny had a real epiphany, but she also had a very emotional reaction to
the ayahuasca on the first night. And I'll never forget us. We were in Peru on some tributary off
the Amazon. And that night, I'll never forget, Jenny was just like, all I could see, she only
had one baby at the time Sid and she's like all I can see is my baby and my husband and my baby
and how much I love my baby and how much I love my husband and how much I love my baby and I was
like go call Jason and tell him and she's like she called him and then she got on the phone I go
did you tell him how much you realized you loved him she's like no I'm not telling him that
and I just thought that was so fucking funny but of course Jason learned about it all because he
was saw the episode but i saw the episode yeah yeah she she doesn't want to give me too much
that would be that would shift the power balance in our relationship in her mind
yeah but it's so interesting that ayahuasca man it really it was just so profound for her she
came back she was very clearly a changed person because you know she yeah motherhood for her is
is a very you know she's got the weird mom and she she was always afraid to be a mom and afraid
that she couldn't do it and all this stuff. And so that specific episode, I mean, was hugely
important. And it was incredible. She came back. All the things that the positives you hear about
ayahuasca, it all happened to her. I know your experience was a little different, but for her,
she came back and she was like a changed person, changed mom, changed wife, the whole thing.
Oh my God.
And I was like, this is amazing. It lasted about six months, I would say.
and then it started to just peter out and then it was sort of back to square one so i've been
trying to push for her to go back to peru and do some more ayahuasca you've never done ayahuasca
have you no and i you know i was already sober when you guys did that and honestly i didn't
really know much about ayahuasca before that so when it got on my radar i was already sober
and i'm kind of conflicted about it the truth is like i i mean i saw it with jenny and i
believe the science behind it that it does have incredible therapeutic potential particularly
with addiction and substance issues actually and so interestingly ironically I think it would be
wonderful for me but at the same time because it is a mind-altering substance I'm on this sort of
it's a sort of a gray area for me as a sober person to mess with that I think you know I
think everyone sober people I think that you would talk about it would all have a different
answer about it. I think my sponsor, for example, would probably say, no, don't do it. But I'm
weirdly open to the idea. But the fact that I haven't yet in however many years, that seven
years ago, the fact that I haven't yet speaks volumes. But, you know, now it's sort of that
psilocybin, right? That's the new sort of version of ayahuasca. And I'm in the same boat with that.
I'm like, I believe it's therapeutic. I know that I would benefit from it.
Yeah, right. I believe you would, too. I'm not as you're, you know, obviously, I'm not your sponsor.
But I think you have the personality that's always like, you know, I think it's a growth edge drug, ayahuasca, not to speak to the psilocybin, because I feel like that can become a habit, psilocybin, whereas ayahuasca is kind of a one-off.
Well, I never did ayahuasca recreationally.
That wasn't in my rotation of drugs, whereas psilocybin was something that I would do to get fucked up a lot.
Exactly.
And ayahuasca is more of a therapeutic, even though psilocybin is in the way it's distributed, it can become more of a habit.
But whereas ayahuasca is just kind of like an experience.
There are people who do it multiple times, but I feel like my experience lasted forever.
Knock on wood.
I still have the same feelings I had after I knew that.
It changed my mindset, period, for good with regard to my relationship with my sister.
But anyway, OK, well, that was very entertaining, Jason, as usual.
I just love talking to you.
Oh, and the other thing I love about Jason, which is why he's on the show today, is because
he's very into therapy and he's very into talking about his emotions. And for a straight guy,
I appreciate that. I always think he's Jewish because he goes to therapy, but I'm always
reminded that he's actually not Jewish because Jewish men are so good at therapy. But Jason is
very well attuned to his own emotions and talking through them. And so I thought it would be very
nice to have a straight guy on to answer our callers' questions. And we curated them towards
you so that you will. Great. Okay. I love that. Well, we'll take a quick break and we'll come
right back with some callers. Behind every night spent making the kids lunches, there's a lot of
suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunch
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when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent
my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart
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Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable.
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But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.
They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.
Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app,
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This is Prose Society,
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the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.
I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.
From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments,
nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters
and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture
conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right
place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your
podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality of
traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering
me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because
it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to
reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone,
I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around
here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies
you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to
a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book
your first trip. I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you get your podcasts. And we're back. We're back. Well, we'll start with a caller today.
Aisha is calling in about a sensitive subject and we have to get her back to work. So
she says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a 36-year-old woman married with two boys. My husband and I have been
married for about a decade. He is the epitome of a good man. He never lies. He's actually
incapable of lying. He has never yelled at me. He respects my friends and family,
goes out of his way to help anyone, and is genuinely one of the best people I know.
Before him and I got married, we had each been in one other serious relationship. My first
boyfriend, when I was 19, was the first man I'd ever had sex with, and he was much more experienced
than me. The sex with him was amazing, but he was the epitome of a bad boy and didn't
treat me the greatest. My husband also has had only one other sexual partner prior, and
that relationship he had was only a few months long. Needless to say, he was very inexperienced
when we got together. The sex between us has never been great. In the very beginning, things
seemed promising, like it might get really good, but as time went on, it was the same
old lackluster routine. I know they say you have to teach your partner what you like,
but I don't want to have to train a man.
There's nothing sexier than a man who knows what he's doing in the bedroom
and just takes full control.
I've never had an orgasm with him, and as the years went on,
we've just had less and less sex.
We'd attempt it occasionally after having kids,
but I'd have to stop because nothing was working
and I would just completely shut down.
We're to the point now where we just don't have sex at all.
I have zero romantic interest in him,
and I can't even will myself to want to kiss him.
I long for the days of my 20s when I was having incredible sex
and the feelings of just not being able to get enough of my partner.
I'm now in my mid-30s, and I crave to have that relationship with a man again.
I find that the only pleasure I get comes from masturbating,
thinking about the sex I had with my ex.
How do I get the romantic feelings back for my husband,
and how do I get a great sex life again?
Please help. Sincerely, Aisha.
Hi, Aisha.
Hi, Chelsea.
Hi, Aisha.
Hi. We have Jason Biggs as our special guest today. Say hi.
Hi.
Aisha, I'll jump in first, because I just want to say, you owe it to your partner to
express these things and to try, and it is your responsibility, in a sense, to teach
your partner what makes you feel good.
It is, because you're in a committed relationship, and there's no way that he's going to figure
that out without you verbalizing it.
And as unattractive as that may sound, you're married, you've been in this relationship
for some time, you owe it to him to give him a chance to understand what you're expecting
or what you need obviously having no orgasm and not having great sex is a turnoff right but how
can you expect him to know anything unless you are communicative about it and you know a sex
therapist will be able to give you the language to use if you don't feel like you know how to say
these things to him okay like you can't give up on your relationship unless you give somebody the
tools to improve and then they can't do it then then there's a you know you have to kind of
overturn all of these things before you can give up on someone I would say I mean if you were dating
him for a couple months sure fucking say goodbye but I think don't you owe him a little bit more
than that no I agree as if I just find the communication part very hard because he's not
a good communicator so whenever we do try to communicate it's always like I put myself out
there and he doesn't really know how to respond or how to fully communicate like we've already
gone to like marriage counseling and like couples therapy and even like the therapist we started out
together and then they recommended that we do individual sessions as well like even the therapist
had trouble getting him to communicate and open up so it's just very vulnerable for me to put
myself out there and then not get anything back did he remain in his individual therapy not very
long. Even the therapist was like, we're not really getting anywhere because like he really
doesn't know how to communicate. This is a very common issue among men, FYI. So you know that,
you know, I know a lot of my friends who deal with the same thing. I mean, obviously sex is
hugely important in a relationship, especially in a marriage. But I do believe you need to
sort of exhaust every option, obviously, before you sort of raise the white flag here. It's a
bummer to hear that he's not a great communicator. It's interesting because you talked about how good
of a guy he is, but I really wish there was a world in which you could both commit to. Does
he understand just how important an issue this is to you? Like how much has been conveyed to him
in terms of how you, specifically the sex issue, how important it is to you and how much it is an
issue? Is he aware? He is aware of it, right? I mean, I would like to think so, but I guess
we haven't really had that full conversation. But I mean, at this point, I mean, I couldn't
even tell you the last time that we had sex. It's probably been years. We'll start with that.
Yeah, I think you need to start with that. I mean, it's not in a threatening way,
obviously, but I think he should know that you're in a really bad spot. This is something that's
incredibly important to you and you're not, you don't want this relationship to end. He's the
father of your children and you guys, obviously he's a great guy and you guys have something
clearly, but I think you need to let him know just how really difficult this particular position is
for you. And if there isn't movement, then you don't know what sort of to do from there. He
needs to know how sort of dire it is, because it is important. Jenny and I fight. I mean,
we've gotten into some real fights. We'll go, we joke about it, but the truth is we'll go
stretches without having sex. And sometimes the sex is just whatever. But we know that the
potential is there. We just have to find a way to talk to each other and let each other know
what the issues are i really think you should try to make him go back to therapy and if he doesn't
want to do individual again like then the two of you go back to the chelsea mentioned a sex
therapist there's marriage counselors but then there's ones that are more specific to sex i think
would be really good for you to look into i couldn't really tell from your letter but assuming
that you want this to work i mean are you kind of at the end where you're just going i i want to be
done with this and i don't know what to do next or do you want this to work out no i want it to
work i mean we have two kids i mean it's not something that i'm just gonna walk away from and
i mean i definitely want to put in the effort you know to make it work yeah well then i think you
need to put in a little more effort it sounds like yeah a good person to listen to i just on
your own first and foremost is esther peril she's like the great sex therapist and she has a podcast
and she talks about this exact thing with couples and when their sex dries up and they don't have
any spark left. And that sounds kind of like where you are. But I don't know if writing an email to
your husband or sitting down and talking to him, which whatever you think would have a greater
impact, but really laying it out, because the only way he's going to learn to communicate,
obviously, is with your communication. I know many men that are like this. And you have to say this
is exactly what Jason's saying. This is getting dire. I'm starting to think about maybe we might
not make it unless we start to cultivate some more sexual honesty between us and for me that
involves having pleasurable sex with you if you're interested in that we have to work to revitalize
our relationship we have two kids I want to stay married to you but I don't want to live like this
forever so it's not a threat it's just an honest assessment of where you are and maybe therapy in
time but really focus on the sexual therapist like getting a sexual therapist these people
are skilled and well-versed in how do you get the ball rolling again and communicating. Because
even if your husband's a shitty communicator in real life, he could be a great communicator in
your sex life. There are different compartmentalizations that people have. And once
they learn the language and get the vocabulary, they're excited to be able to use that vocabulary.
So you could still have that. You know what I mean? Like you could still have a good sex life
if you put some effort in. There's a possibility of that. You know, there's no guarantee,
but it's worth exploring more and focusing on that aspect of things rather than maybe going
to couples counseling since you guys already tried that route and it didn't work out I would say you
didn't have the right counselor and it's worth trying again but first and foremost I think you
should address this issue because you know having sex with people is always going to bring you
closer to that person yeah and and Esther also talks a lot about how when you're more comfortable
with your partner like you talked about at the top of your email, the more comfortable you are
and the more safe you feel. Sometimes like the sex get – it fizzles and it gets less hot and
less hot the more comfortable you are with them. So she has books and she's got a podcast. So I
would check that out as well. I think one other thing to point out is this conversation that
you're going to have with him about like this is something that's really important for the
continuation of our marriage is something that while it doesn't seem like there's a huge risk
of that because you guys aren't really having sex anymore, it should not come at a point where
you've like tried to have sex and it's fizzled, it should be like, hey, family meeting time,
just you and me. Let's talk about how we can jumpstart our sex life because this isn't working
for me. So that family meeting with the boys as well would be very interesting. Exactly.
Exactly. We just had that conversation with my five-year-old the other day, actually.
Yeah. About your sex life with your husband? Well, no, no, no, no, no. We were in the car
And he just randomly said, so how do babies actually get into the mom's bellies?
I need all the information.
Maybe your husband just needs all the information.
Yeah, he does.
Here's exactly what I want.
You should have said, like, well, I used to know, but it's been so long, I couldn't tell you anymore.
And I wouldn't say, like, I've never had an orgasm with you.
I would say, like, it's been a while since I've had an orgasm with you.
Like, this is what it takes for me to have an orgasm.
you know like do you feel comfortable having this conversation with him not particularly but i'm
gonna force myself to do that the only thing i'm really struggling with is once we get through this
is like in my head i always have this expectation that sex is just gonna be shitty so i can never
like initiate it how do i get over that hurdle of once we get there and we're starting up again
like getting out of that mindset well you should tell him a that you want him to initiate sex right
And you're projecting like your past experience onto the future, which doesn't ever work for anybody because you can have a new beginning with him.
You have to be present about what you're doing.
Now you have a new approach.
You're going to talk to him in an honest way that you probably haven't exercised for a while.
So the result of that has the potential to be really great.
And you should focus on that instead of what has happened in the past.
Okay.
And just keep telling yourself if you want different results, you have to act in a different way.
Your behavior now is going to be different because you're addressing it head on.
And that's going to lead to different results.
And that's what you have to keep telling yourself.
OK.
All right.
Well, keep us posted and let us know what happened.
Report back.
All right.
I will.
Thank you so much.
Or send us some pictures of you guys having wild sex.
Yeah.
And I'll post them for you.
I don't think you'd appreciate that.
Actually, I'll have Jason post them for you.
I'll post them.
OK.
Thanks, Aisha.
OK.
Aisha, bye.
Bye.
Bye, Aisha.
All right.
Well, good.
We put a smile on her face.
That's the most important thing.
Whoopsie doodle, my orange.
just escaped to me that's my therapy orange i know hopefully this is the point where like
she can get to the point where they're having great sex like she talked about like i was
envisioned at this point because it sounded pretty bad any sex would be better yeah just
any sex and men you know jason your present company excluded because i doubt you're like
this but i mean there are so many men that are not able to communicate anything and that the
The idea of communication is so scary that they would rather opt out of the relationship than have to deal with it.
You know what I mean?
But there's also a group of men who, when put to the test and know that it's the end of the rope, will do whatever they can to salvage the relationship.
I think that was such a good point that you guys both made was so often when it's like we haven't had sex in three years, I'm out.
Like it's the person gets blindsided and they didn't even see it coming when like she's obviously been feeling this way for years, maybe for their entire relationship.
So having that conversation where she's like, I'm getting to the point where I want to raise the white flag is so important.
Yeah.
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When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months.
I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.
I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files.
I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying,
shut up, don't say anything.
Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable.
I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me.
I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed,
and I just started screaming.
They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.
But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.
They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.
Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality,
welcome home.
This is Prose Society,
the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters,
pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve
the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books,
the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.
I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.
From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments,
nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters
and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture
conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right
place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your
podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality of
traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering
me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro and I travel by myself because
it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to
reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone,
I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around
here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies
you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to
a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book
your first trip. I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you get your podcasts. Well, our next caller is Gabriel, and Gabriel says, Dear Chelsea,
I'm 30 years old and disabled. I've been in a very lovely relationship with my girlfriend for
the past six years, and for four of those, we've been living together. I'm 100% sure she's the one.
That's been settled.
My issue is this.
All our family and friends ask when we're getting married and having children.
Getting married will eventually happen because that's something we both want.
We just aren't worried much about it since we're in a great place in life right now.
I take issue with the question about when we're having kids.
My girlfriend and I are sure that we don't want kids, for more reason than one.
Some are personal.
Some come down to the fact that we just don't want them.
Comments, at least toward me, are always made about how I'm very good with kids and
I must be wanting to become a dad, when in reality, I don't really like kids. I'm good
with them because they're just that, they're kids, but it doesn't mean I want them for myself.
I find myself not knowing how to answer this question anymore without sounding like an
asshole or what others claim as selfish when asked why I don't want kids. No means no,
even with a seemingly harmless question like this. It does get very annoying and I'm running
out of things to say because to some folks, I don't want kids isn't enough. Thank you all for
listening. I hope you can tell me what to do because I'm starting to think just walking away
from the question is the way to go. Hi, Gabriel. Hi, Gabriel. Hey, Gabriel. Hello. How are you
guys? Hi, Gabriel. That's Jason, our special guest today. Jason Biggs is here. So you have
a straight male to lean on as well as the two of us. Straight-ish. Finally, nice to meet you, man.
Nice to meet you. Jason, what would you like to say out of the gate on this one?
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
I actually really want to hear what Chelsea has to say on this.
I think it's more, I think it applies more to her.
I mean, my situation is this.
I always wanted kids.
I married someone who was not as gung-ho as I was, you know?
And so there was always a bit of a disparity in whenever we would answer this particular
question for starters, but also in just our general approach to it as time started going
by.
And we've been married for multiple years.
we didn't have Sid until we were married almost you know eight or nine years I think but eventually
Jenny sort of Jenny's big thing was fear the reason she didn't want to do is because she was
afraid she would be a terrible mom because she didn't have a particularly great mom right I
think that's sort of my psychology 101 on the whole thing but um there was a part of her that
sort of knew why and knew that maybe she should over try to at least overcome that fear so I saw
an opening so I definitely was trying to kind of push it a little bit more ultimately we did it
we got to that place and she became a different person as a mom that I mean we we talked earlier
in this episode about Jenny's ayahuasca experience she for the first few years and even to this day
sometimes she's like I don't what am I doing was this the right thing but I shouldn't say was this
the right thing she knows it was the right thing but she still questions you know we all do anyway
my point is she's on the other side of it now and it's an incredible thing that we that we have the
kids so it's a little different i i suppose than where you guys are in that you're both on the same
page about this yeah we are that's the great thing about your situation i think is that
you there's no disagreement there's no difference in the way you guys feel about the issue so that's
wonderful chelsea i really want to defer to you on this like what are your thoughts on i think
that you should come together with your fiance and develop a united front answer for each person.
People just don't have any original ideas to talk about. So when they know that you're in love,
they want to know when you're getting married and then they want to know about kids because
that's just the way that society has been built. So the best way to just confront that or you don't
have to confront, I guess it's more of like, you know, you feel like you're on the defense when
people ask you that question. I mean, I know that I've been asked that question, even as public as
I've been about, you know, not wanting children, not that I don't like children. I don't, it's
exactly what you just said in your letter. I'm nice to them because they're children, but I don't
want them. I don't want one of them. And it's a newer idea culturally, but it's not a new idea.
There are plenty of people that have had children that shouldn't have had them, that didn't want
them, that thought that they had to have them. So a simple answer is we don't want to be one of
those people who regret having children because we both just don't feel the urge that's good
and having people try to convince us otherwise feels really unfair to an unborn child you know
that's really all it is like i'm i'm someone that's really happy with my life my my girlfriend
santa she's great she we're both really in great stable areas in our lives we love what we do
and like it's just for one like she has her reasons i have my reasons for me i know as a
disabled person that I cannot have kids like I know that and that's such a thing that's like
not very common with guys that's like spoken about like infertility is not very talked about
and I think that's kind of really frustrating in my case because I'm like I can't have kids
and then I get the oh you should adopt kids I'm like you're not listening to me I just I don't
want exactly the whole experience the yeah kind of like how Jason said with the fear at the same
time at first I think it was the fear but I think in my case my fear is kind of in a selfish way
because I have an amazing mom but as the years pass and like with diabetes I know her life is
kind of ending and as selfish as it is like this is something like I hold to my heart I don't want
to bring kids into this world and then not get to meet my mom and enjoy her because my grandmother
was a huge part of my life and I only got to enjoy her for eight years and that like crushed
me and i'm 30 now and every day i i remember her i try to keep her present in my life but at the
same time i'm like i my girlfriend always says that she just doesn't have the desire and like
i know that i also don't have the desire because i've never like like i said i'm good kids i i'm
i've babysat a lot of kids i've actually even delivered a kid 11 year old should not be
delivering kids i was an 11 year old delivering a kid weird experience i know i was like whoa
not for me so that's another reason it's cool all my friends have kids a lot of them kind of bug me
about it and like just even no is like they just won't take that they bring up an excuse but maybe
sienna does and i'm like i know i know sienna doesn't want them but also you don't owe anyone
even an explanation you know and a good way to shut it down is say listen i've experienced enough
difficulty in my life being handicapped like my experience is enough to take up a lot of space in
our room we don't have room for a child that should shut people the fuck up right away i'm
only four four great yeah i'm really short so i'm only gonna hold my kid for two months and then i'm
gonna be like all right well you're my side but i also gabriel i think you should run with dude i
think you should run with next time someone asks you be like have you ever delivered a kid and when
they say no you can be like I have I don't want to do again I'm done peace out just drop the like
I literally get delivered a kid on them I feel that's your trump card yeah and then you can
transition to that funny story you know like it traumatized me enough like I can't handle it yeah
it was too much for me yeah yeah yeah I mean you we just gave you three options to shut people the
fuck up so I mean just write all three of those down and that way you can fire that off anytime
somebody asks you the question. And I will say as someone who's been married for a long time,
you know, assuming you guys go the long haul, there is a point at which it stops being cute.
Like people think it's cute to ask you when you're having kids to where it's awkward for them to ask
you if you're having kids. Like after the 10 year mark, they're like, well, if they wanted them,
they'd be having them already. Or there might be some trouble going on there that they, you know,
can't get pregnant or whatever. People make their own assumptions just like they do assuming that
you might want kids. So it does get a little bit better. Yeah, that's, that's really what I'm,
I'm, I'm hoping for. Like, it's just very, I think I'm in like a generation where in the middle of
a transition area where younger folks want to not have kids and women and guys are just kind of
living a more free life with like older folks. Oh, you got to get married. You got to have the
kids and so i'm kind of like i enjoy my life i like to smoke my weed i like to enjoy my dodger
games i work with homeless veterans i help house them so that's like a job that i absolutely love
and adore i have a dog i have my precious partner like i don't need anything else i'm fine i'm happy
we're happy can it just kind of stop there and it's just a little frustrating and overwhelming
the constant constant constant it's like damn y'all throw the fuck out yeah totally i'd say
this though for what it's worth i would assume that it's better that it's coming externally as
opposed to within the relationship the fact that you and she are on the exact same page about this
is such a beautiful thing and that's what's ultimately going to get you through you know
it sounds like you got a lot a lot of things to be happy for right now so yeah it's a bummer that
this kind of weighs you down a bit but i hope there's a like katherine said i think it'll
subside. I sure hope so. I'm looking forward to that. Like I know marriage and all that stuff
eventually it's, it's something we want. We've talked that out a million times. The kids stuff
as well. We're just, we kind of as bizarre as it is. I think that was kind of a turn on when she
was like, Oh, I don't want kids. That's not bizarre. If you feel that way and you find someone
that's like-minded and a good idea is when you do get married, a great announcement to make at
your wedding is that we don't want to be asked about children because we're not having any.
Yay. I love that. Well, Gabriel. Yeah. Thank you so much for calling in. Let us know how it goes
next time you tell a gory story about delivering a child at 11 years old. All righty. Thank you
guys so much. I appreciate your work. Thank you for having me. Thank you. Take care. Bye, Gabriel.
Have a good one. Delivering a baby at 11. I was going to ask him that, but I was like,
shit, I didn't know how much time we had. Yeah. I have more questions than answers after that
segment. I'm not going to lie. Yes. Well, Grace says, Dear Chelsea,
my husband of a couple months now, who I truly adore, follows, likes, and views what I call
thirst trap influencers on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. I'll admit, they're super hot,
but you know the kind. It's almost like watching porn or being on OnlyFans all day.
Now, as a single guy in the past, I'm sure he did this prior to our involvement or marriage.
Totally fine.
And in fact, I promote healthy porn watching in and out of a serious relationship.
I myself partake in such pastimes, but for some reason, this feels different.
When does it become too much or not acceptable?
I'm not a 28-year-old with great tits and a smoking ass, but I do know he finds me attractive,
and I also feel pretty damn sexy myself.
I mean, hell, I'd do me.
He doesn't have many followers on his accounts.
He seems to just use these platforms to follow sports, politics, and these naughty girls.
We aren't friends online ourselves, and I don't sneak looks at his DMs.
We have a great sex life, and I feel loved, seen, and appreciated.
Why do you think I feel sad when he quickly scrolls past and tries to hide these banging-ass girls?
Just wondering what your thoughts on this are, and maybe how to express this to him without seeming incredibly insecure and tell him it makes me uncomfortable.
Should I worry, or is it not a big deal?
I'm on the fence.
All my love, Grace.
What do you think of that, Jason?
She said something at the end there about how do I say this without seeming insecure?
What's wrong with seeming insecure?
I have two thoughts on it that kind of fight each other.
The one is I don't think it's that big a deal.
Hi, baby.
Hey, come here.
We're talking about thirst traps.
Baby, is that you?
I'm getting texts normally.
Could you be a little bit quieter?
I'm texting.
Shut up.
She's in the other room.
She's being too loud.
Am I too loud?
Did you guys hear me?
Jenny, we need your advice on this.
Okay.
So we had someone call in who said that her husband, who she loves very much, follows a bunch of thirst trap type people on Instagram.
He follows politics, sports and thirst traps.
And she's getting insecure about him looking at these photos of women.
And she doesn't want to come off as insecure, but she doesn't know what to do because it makes her feel uncomfortable.
Well, I just go on Jason's phone and delete anybody I don't want him following.
Right. Right. OK, so that's one option.
That's and Jason never notices.
I still feel like I follow a couple though well not for long there are straps for him
though are like pictures of like hoonie on a bed of rice it's true for real it's true no but hold
on I do think look it's the porn issue right like even when the sex is incredible but be more
discreet about well that's my thing he needs to either chill the fuck out be more discreet
it sounds to me like she's trying to find it a little bit i don't think so no i thought baby do
you see who i like don't you see that thing that sarah foster always does when she sees that like
tommy like likes a photo of like some like well you don't like it well first of all don't be an
idiot don't like the photos you can follow them don't post on them all right don't come all over
I love you.
Love you.
But my other thought is there's nothing wrong with being honest and also
showing your vulnerability and your insecurity.
Like, come on, say it like, Hey dude,
I, if I was the guy and Jenny came up to me and it was like,
you would not castrate me.
And I do do it.
I do follow.
Tune in everybody.
This is what's happening at their house.
I do.
There are a few people I follow.
Shut my door.
so i can follow some more okay i feel like you need to she needs to tell him that it makes her
feel icky and i think that's fine yeah she should be honest with him she should be honest with him
but with the understanding that it's like he's not doing something wrong in my opinion it's if
you make him feel like he's being accused of doing something wrong it's how you phrase it
if you make it about yourself this is this goes for anything in a relationship right
Not you're making me feel insecure.
It makes me feel insecure.
I'm insecure and this doesn't help my insecurity.
Not you make me insecure, which is such fucking bullshit when someone says that to you.
Thank you.
That's it.
It's a subtle but incredibly huge difference.
And that would be my approach.
Maybe the ask is, can you follow those gals on another account so like you can look at
that in your private time?
Well, I don't know about that.
Because then you have private stuff and it's like, it's not private.
It's not like he's having an affair.
He's just looking at these accounts.
Listen, when I start dating a guy and I see that they follow a ton of celebs accounts
and they're not a celebrity, I'm grossed out.
I'm like, what is he doing?
You know what I mean?
Like, not in an insecure way.
I'm just like, wait, why is this guy caring about so much about celebrities if you're
not a celebrity?
Like, the whole point of dating somebody that's not a celebrity is that you don't want to
deal with that whole world.
You want to have a life independent of that.
So I can relate to it in a certain degree, not in a jealous way.
I'm more of in a turned off way.
Like, what are you doing?
But I think when you have insecurities, it's okay to express them as long as you're not
accusing the other person of making you feel.
And then see how he responds to that.
That's it.
See how he responds.
He might go, oh, God.
And look, joking aside, I follow some pages on there that I'm not particularly, that are
a little voyeuristic and weird that sometimes then will post like sexy photos of people
i don't follow the sexy accounts but they'll sometimes be reposted on other accounts that
i follow sure but but but here's the thing like he doesn't have to follow them like if you treat
it like porn dude you want to go to those pages go check them out at another time when you're alone
you don't have to like be sitting there scrolling and have to so that she's just unfollow and the
next time you want to see someone's boobs whether it's on a porn site or an instagram follow go and
do it in privacy. To me, it's an easy fix. But I do believe if she approaches it with vulnerability,
I think there's there's no reason he shouldn't react. And also he may get defensive in the
beginning. But if that happens, see what he does, how he responds instead of reacts. You know what
I mean? Give it a little space to see how he responds to your feelings being hurt or you being
insecure about something, because in a loving relationship, the other person should worry
about the other person's feelings and, you know, making sure that they're OK. Yeah. And you're
not asking them to like get what is this to give up I mean at the end of the day it is like
compromise right is the key to relationships at the end it's like compromise and communication
so it's at the end of the day if it really came down to he needs to not follow a couple
sexily clad models on Instagram then like who cares dude yeah I also like I don't know that
it's a big I mean I feel like a girl in a bikini it's not a big deal it's not a deal breaker
It's like wallpaper is all it is.
It's not a deal breaker.
Yeah.
But ultimately you have to decide.
See,
that's the thing.
I don't think it's a big deal.
You have to kind of see like whose needs need to be met more.
You want to meet both person's needs,
but at the end of the day,
someone may have to bend a little more.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
And we don't know who that person is in this situation,
but I can see either one of them needing to bend.
And it's not the fucking end of the world.
If you need to unfollow a couple of people to keep your marriage intact.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And if you need to, like, tell him to look at them in another room and you're not aware of them, then fucking deal with it.
Like, something has to bend at some point.
Okay, Jason, just calm the fuck down.
I need to go masturbate.
I have to.
Okay, obviously.
We're going to be right back.
We're going to take a quick break.
We're going to take a quick break.
And we'll be right back.
Okay, bye.
The Jonas Brothers are running it back.
We live the Burning Up Tour and celebrate the biggest Jonas Brothers hits that have defined a generation.
One incredible celebration.
One unforgettable night.
See the Jonas Brothers live at RBC Amphitheater, September 28th.
Get tickets now at Ticketmaster.ca.
Jonas Brothers, the Burning Up Tour, all over again.
When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months.
I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.
I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files.
I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything.
Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable.
I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me.
I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming.
They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.
But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.
They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.
Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.
This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.
I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books,
the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.
I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.
From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments,
nothing is off the table.
It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters,
then that is a Trojan horse.
Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations,
or a community of readers who love to think a little too much,
you're in the right place.
Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
See you between the pages.
On the new podcast, Solita,
we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.
I can wait four hours for the next bus
or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle.
I chose option B.
I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself
because it's a rare space where I can say yes
without asking anyone else first.
I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita,
trading the pity for possibility.
Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people
and they were like, you smiled at us.
Not a lot of people smile around here.
It's when you're alone that you're most receptive
to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it.
It can be a time where you push your limits,
change your mind or wake up to a new version of yourself so whether you're a solo travel veteran
or you're too nervous to book your first trip i hope you listen to solita
on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts
and we're back we're back to wrap up with jason we're to wrap up with jason biggs everybody
what a delight jason what i just primary baited during the break
it's called a callback it's called white humor
it's called white privilege humor you guys okay Jason thank you so much for being here I love you
so much love you so much Chels thank you for having me Catherine so great to meet you likewise
you're the best Chels love you guys okay take care have a great day you too thanks bye
okay guys we have added more shows to my little big bitch tour i added another second show in
toronto so i have two shows in toronto now december 7th december 8th december 9th i'm in
ottawa and two new shows at december 15th on a friday we're doing a 7 30 and 10 p.m show with
kevin hart and friends that's in thackerville oklahoma and all my other shows you can buy
tickets for at chelseahandler.com. I'm starting my tour back up on September 29th in New York City
at the Beacon, which is sold out. But the next night there are tickets available September 30th
at the Beacon. So for all fall dates, you can go to chelseahandler.com for tickets and you'll see
me. If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at dearchelseapodcast at gmail.com and
be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert,
executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com.
out alive listen to the survivor files with elizabeth smart on the iheart radio app apple
podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts if your bookshelf and your for you page are equally
important to your personality welcome home pro society is a weekly podcast that's part book club
part group chat for anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level
of discourse each week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and pop culture with
your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions listen to pro
society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts did you hear the
new episode of the hey jonas podcast we are at d23 so we'll see who stops by the cast of frozen
stopped by kristin bell josh gad and adina menzel i auditioned for frozen what for kristoff they
said okay what are you going to be singing today i said i don't know that must have been why you
didn't get it oh you probably won plus john stamos hayden christiansen from star wars and more and i
guess i can share that uh no way listen to the latest episode of hey jonas on the iheart radio
app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts hey this is hayes davenport and sean
clements we host the podcast hollywood handbook each week we talk to someone in show business
and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us everyone has a good
time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great
guests like sarah sherman adam scott danny mcbride ben stiller and a lot of other big shots that
wouldn't be where they are without us listen to hollywood handbook on the iheart radio app
apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts this is an iheart podcast guaranteed human
