Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler - You’re the Problem with Yamaneika Saunders

Episode Date: July 23, 2026

Yamaneika’s in Chelsea’s house (and won’t leave) to discuss the merits of an Erewhon rotisserie Chicken, the power of two women wrestling, and why Chelsea’s the problem this week.  Then: A family falls apart after an open marriage becomes a little too open.  A trans man’s love life gets increasingly more complicated.  And a sister needs to put her sister in her place.  * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail] *Listen to You're The Problem... with Yamaneika here: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-youre-the-problem-with-ya-338033062 *Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Bell. Connection is everything. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? We are at D23, so we'll see who stops by.

The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it.

Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way. Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and Mighty Tour. In August, you can find me in Red Bank, New Jersey,

Montclair, New Jersey, and Calgary. That's Canada. In September, I will be in Santa Barbara. San Diego, New York City, Philly, and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise, Idaho, and Spokane. And then in November, I'll be in San Francisco. I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston, Dallas, babies. I'll be there. And then in December, I am closing out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So get your tickets It's at ChelseaHandler.com for the High and Mighty Tour.

Hi, Catherine. Hi, Chelsea. Who are you traveling with right now? I am now by myself. Oh, okay. I am in Spanish school. I am going to Spanish school from 9 to 2 p.m. every day in a Spanish city somewhere near you.

Somewhere near Spain. Vas a volver hablando fluido. Oh, that's good. You're going to be fluent when you come back. It's going to be great. Hopefully. We'll see what happens. We'll see how many days of school I actually get to.

But I'm on day three. So school from 9 to 2. And then there's cultural activities that I am opting out of because I need a nightlife. But school from 9 to 2 is all I need, really. Yeah. I mean, I think your nightlife is going to be your cultural activities. Yes, exactly. That's me experiencing culture is going out.

Excellent. Well, our guest today is a very special guest because she's launching her very own podcast under the Dear Chelsea Podcast Network. And this is going to give you a slice of what you can listen to when you tune into her podcast every week. Her new podcast is called You're the Problem with Yamanika Saunders. And after listening to this, you'll also understand that she is the problem and she's my problem and everyone's problem. So that title alone invites you to laugh. And she gave great advice, actually, on this episode. I was very impressed with her. She is good at advice. She's terrible at taking it, but she's good at giving it. How necessary is this air? Excuse me.

Excuse me. How sweaty do you want her to be? Let me, first of all, I want to talk to you, okay? We're shooting this podcast. This is Dear Chelsea. This is Yamanika Saunders. If you're not familiar with her, you will be by the end of this episode. we've had clips go viral with you okay anyway why don't you how necessary is this air

how necessary is all the bullshit that you get up to you are disruptive she's been staying at my house for a week here we go for the netflix is a joke comedy festival she every she has nothing she brought nothing with her we've been on the road every day is brand new for her every day you go into her bedroom she's in the bunk room megan was also staying here megan gailey had an amazing time with me by the way because she goes through this nonsense okay every day in the bunk room where she's staying she it looks like a fucking pop-up cvs she has to go to cvs she goes to cvs three times a day i'm addicted she buys all the new things it's like she's starting over each day she doesn't have any of her supplies she has to get her hair stuff her face stuff

her sneakers she buys clothes at cvs then she went to marshall's then she goes to marshall's twice a week then i introduced her with the marshall's trend i introduced her to air one so i said here's where the white people go shopping in santa monica come look and i was like if you've have you ever had a 13 smoothie and this bitch goes every morning now to air one spends 80 at air one i can't help that yeah no i got this from the spirit here who's nikki that's me because who got time to learn how to spell

Yamanika they didn't even teach me how to spell my name until I was in the third grade so I'm supposed to let some brand new lady that just met me learn how to spell Yamanika

here's a bigger problem with spelling your name we're about to launch a podcast this is an announcement you guys to our audience Dear Chelsea Network

is now a network and yes I hold my breath when I say that yes and I hold your breath too and guess my first podcast that I'm producing beyond my own is

you're the problem with Yamanika but you're the fucking problem I'm not the problem. You're the problem. Everyone, listen, I am a part of the collective of the problem. So when I say you're the problem, I'm also saying that to myself. There's a lot of stuff happening in the world that we need to talk about and we need to deal with.

How about the fact that you've bought three rotisserie chickens in three days and haven't even finished them? And I can't help it that they were delicious. She buys this every day. She never finishes it. I can't finish it. This was $22, watermelon juice? Yeah. It's the Haley Bieber.

What are you doing? I don't know. Is it the Haley Bieber? Yeah. We should get a discount from Haley. I'll DM her. No, listen. Is this her?

Haley, let me tell you something, baby. I have to smoke a joint for this episode because I can't deal with her. Can I tell her? She drives me to drink and smoke. Yeah, well, you're drinking and smoking anyway. So what were you doing all the damn years before you met me? I was drinking and smoking for different reasons. Now you're the reason I'm drinking and smoking.

Haley, this smoothie here, it's the thing I drink every morning to keep my bowels regular. I suck this down and it is mud tunnel. Do you hear me? That's why they're so damn thin. When you spend $22 for a smoothie, you don't have money to eat for the rest of the day. That's it. That's right. Basically, Rachel Ray, back in the day.

She goes, she buys a rotisserie chicken every day. And then she goes, oh, I got you all chicken. No one wants it. No one wants the chicken. You bought chicken noodle soup the other day. It's still in the fridge, a huge pint of it. You haven't touched it. You don't eat any of the stuff that you buy.

So what are you doing with it? Is this like that? I might have a problem. I get excited about purchases and things looking like, oh, this is going to look cute in the refrigerator. So yeah, a $16 soup makes no sense, but it looks cute in the refrigerator. And that's what she's not going to tell you.

It looks good in the refrigerator. But also have her tell you this. The reason why I haven't eaten it yet is because this bitch also has one in there. So why would I open mine up if you don't have yours open yet? What, my chicken? You have a chicken noodle soup. There's two in there because of you.

No, I don't have a chicken noodle soup. Yes, you do. I never even ordered that. I never got that. Do you want me to go to the refrigerator? No, it's probably yours, you dumbass. It's not mine. You probably got it, and you forgot that you bought it like everything else.

I think I wouldn't know if I bought chicken noodle soup twice. Would you, though? Would you? I mean, you bought an avocado, a tomato. I wouldn't know if I bought a $16 chicken noodle soup twice, okay? The other day, she goes, oh, we can break down the bones from the rotisserie chicken, and I can make a nice soup. Everybody does that.

But when is that going to happen, Yamanika? No one's making any fucking soup with some bones. We're not doing that at any point during your stay here. So the fantasy that you're living in about us making bone broth or whatever the fuck you're talking about is so stupid. Because you don't want to do it with me. The way I see you operate is on another level. Like, I thought I knew her. Having her in my house, in my space.

Thank you for breaking in my house, hopefully. Yeah, no, I've had an amazing time here. I know. It's been really nice having you. It's the most fun room. Megan and I had such an amazing time there's four bunk beds

when I first heard that I was like this is some stupid shit and then I went in there she thought it sounded like a women's prison it is no

it's like everybody has their own little compartment yeah and they own like it was so great it's like camp yeah yeah yeah

it felt really good I love it yeah and thank you for letting me come in listen we need to get you on the right concealer though

your facial concealer okay let me just talk this is the problem with you buying new concealer everywhere you go you're not getting the right color for your skin okay so I lost my makeup bag in a couple of places here's the thing about Chelsea she doesn't understand why I don't have my shit together but then she got 6,000

people keeping her shit together I'm a one man band by the way you have infected all of the people that work with me and for me because they're all working for fucking you too now trying to get your shit together you don't know when we're going on tour you're like oh you're going to Modesto I'm gonna rent a car why would you rent a car when we have a car i understand that but trying to get to no no ladies and gentlemen believe it or not you're the problem with yamanika is something that i wanted to do chelsea also wanted to do no matter how she sits here and talks crazy about me the woman loves me down to the core and she wouldn't let me be on her fucking network if she really thought i was this dumb and irresponsible i stopped saying you're dumb

i've never said okay well idiot dumb stupid is like what you know what a taboo but what i'm saying to you is we're like it's such like what we have going on here is such a fantastic moment and time i'm so excited to be on the network i just think it is just so i'm just i can't wait and i think what are you going to talk about on your show let's give our first of all we have a great something something's no it's like a sisterhood because we like we like each other but then we hate each other sometimes no you're annoying but no you're annoying well okay but Okay, well. Anyway, we have a good time together most of the time.

And I do think that you... Last night we were at this party. We were slow grinding off the side. And people were walking past like... Like people are intrigued by our love, but also like skeptical. But then they're also like also into it. I've had so many male comics text me and be like,

can you put more videos up of you and Chelsea wrestling each other? do you know I was walking around the party and I like was so stoned that I forgot where you guys were and I kept trying to find

that outside area where we found at the beginning of the night we were like we found a place where you could smoke and sit outside and dance

and somehow I just got lost and I kept circling the same group of people and it was so annoying and I was like how do I find them and then what happened like a black angel

didn't I come up behind you and go where you been baby ah was it you yeah that was how many black angels you got bitch

oh that is yeah that was me when you were and we took that picture and I wished you away yeah absolutely I knew you were somewhere and needed

my assistance thank you that's really I mean somebody had to grow up in that incredible outfit Chelsea I get on Chelsea's nerves

I understand she's a Pisces I'm a Scorpio she says this about 47 times every day as if that has anything to do

it has a lot because as a Scorpio the way we don't want to be bothered with people but as a Scorpio you default to your Scorpionism all day long

because whatever she does that's fucked up I'll be like that's fucked up she's like I'm a Scorpio and she just defaults to that I think that's most Scorpios though but you can't do that I'm not walking around going I'm a Pisces deal with it she literally did a joke in the roast I'm a Pisces

Pete Davis is a Scorpio and Jeff has cancer that was so good so yeah i mean we all defer to it but i what i the reason why i referenced it is because for me i think people are shocked to see my relationship with her i have these relationships there's people in my life that i'm really really close to and i have these relations too and they don't get to see it on a larger scale but for me i'm always guarded you know just as a person and i know that i'm so sensitive that once i get into a friendship with somebody i start sharing

my feelings my everything and so I'm very vulnerable with that but she is very vulnerable you know she really lets me in and I just love pinching her I love pinching her little tush I love pinching her cheeks I love pinching her arms just like all my friends it's not Chelsea that's what my friendship is like it's very loving it's very touchy and it's very like extra It's a burden for me. It's a big burden. It's not. She loves it.

Don't listen to her. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month, price guaranteed for two years on Internet

with a two-year term and auto-pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying,

shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books,

the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table it's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a trojan horse whether you're looking for literary deep dives smart pop culture conversations or a community of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts see you between the pages hey this is ace davenport and sean clements we

host the podcast hollywood handbook on the big money players network our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners each week we talk to someone in show business aka the biz and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can you help me shape this how about we flip it on its head how about we flip the script what if the surprise woman

who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird Adam Scott this entire time you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show I would never expect

I would never set expectations for something like that to happen if the universe allows for something like that to happen i am open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this

So everyone's so dumb and fake, right? Fake and also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my wife. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. okay so how do you keep winding up in chelsea's bed that's that's what i want to know because apparently it's happened a bunch of times recently what's your version of that story

i'd love to hear completely naked and i have seen her completely naked so what the so have half the men that she but what i'm saying is no what's the bed who cares she look she's thin she's not even taking up all this bed she doesn't need it so why wouldn't i be in there yeah yeah i got my own space we're like two miles away from each other in these humongous ass beds that she's always in this bitch loves a hotel last time we were in a bed like a lot maybe i told this story i don't know i think i said it to you once when we were recording that i we had her they had her come up i don't why she's in my room in the first place is a mystery okay i mean i she i did it once and then she's like every weekend she's like so maybe on

thursday i'll spend the night with you like and i'll get a place the other two nights but we never know if she's going to get a place or she's going to get a place in the right city we don't know I do get a place they get an attitude about it because I like to use my Marriott points my Bonvoy Marriott points I'm also going to get a discount on bookings.com I'm going to roll that over I mean it's expensive but you're not getting the points when you're making the reservation in the wrong city for the wrong yeah yes I did book the wrong hotel for the wrong day for the wrong year I mean I don't know I'm doing what I but I had a place to stay didn't I yeah in my bed yeah well okay

in my bed okay how many times have you been barred with me being in your bed she has all her makeup everywhere

she doesn't even remove her makeup so it looks like I did blackface and went to sleep I can't help it that you keep your makeup on

and it's the same color as the damn sheets bitch I am sorry we're both going to bed with makeup on me you need to get

chocolate sheets she does I need that sometimes I wonder if people come in and look at the sheets after you leave and be like

what the fuck is going on here What was happening with her? My entire face is on it. But I do, listen, it's those things, too, because, like, I've been on the road with so many people. And it's, like, Chelsea's so fun. One of my favorite things about her is, like, when I first started doing the road with her, I would stay in my place, you know, my green room, which I thought was great because sometimes you don't even get a green room as an opener. And I would be in my green room and she would be in hers.

And then one time she came in and she was like, how come you, like, you didn't come in here? Like, how come you don't come in with me? And I was like, I'm trying to give you a space. And she was like, I don't want that. She was like, come in there. And then we went in there and we, you know, Molly was there. We had an amazing time and it was just fun. Like ever since then, it was like such a connection.

And I was thinking to myself, like, wow, I can't wait to get back and kick it with her. Because sometimes you go on the road. It's the truth. Sometimes you get depressed. You're like, man, I don't want to be around this person. They're going to treat me like shit. They're going to make me feel whatever. She brings me on as her special guest.

She's so welcoming and loving. Her audiences are so receptive. and even the way she comes out greets everybody that's the kind of spirit I have so it's like it just makes everything seen you feel seen you feel loved and that's what she did for me so like I'll never

forget that you know that is real sweet I don't think I'm going to be able to yell at you for at least six more hours what time is your flight tonight? nine you want to yell at me as I start taking off you're going to start yelling at me like

get in the sky you idiot Get in the sky. Why are you still there? She'll be like, will you drive me to the airport? Don't you think? Drive me to the airport? She'll suggest things that are, like, great for her with no consideration of how it would make me feel. Also, no one wants to drive anyone to LA on the road trip.

I hate having people drive. Like, poor Carlos. He has to deal with my – I have a phobia of driving. This has been for a long time. One of my sisters was killed in a car accident. So ever since then, it was always like, you know, I'm constantly aware of, like, oh, we're doing this. I don't want to die. I don't want – my father.

have to go through this trauma again my family have to go through this trauma again but Chelsea drove me the other day drove me around she's a really great driver and I felt good no she is like surprisingly she was really great I was like wow she's an excellent driver I didn't trust her at all but I did people ask you about me you should go she's an excellent driver you are though I told you that and I was having a good time about things like this she's totally yeah she didn't hear anything from me I had no complaint I was like thank you no one everyone in my family would disagree with you but I appreciate you recognizing my maybe they think it's scary but I'm like she's on top of it part of driving that people don't have is people are doing a

thousand things and they're not paying attention and they're not aware of the surroundings that's what makes it dangerous but Chelsea's very aware of what's going on she's a Pisces Pisces are like that detail-oriented and they also don't fuck around so that's why you know my other friend And Andy, who I'm obsessed with, he's a Pisces. I've had Pisces in my life. I just love Pisces. They get along with Scorpio well, and it just feels good. I'm a Pisces too, Yamanika.

There you go. Yay. You can call on my bed anytime. Yeah. No, there you go. Yeah. What, baby? I was just thinking about astrology and how often it comes up with you.

It does come up a lot. Yeah. Are you well-versed on every sign like this? Every time I have sex with a man, I'm first on the sign. On the phone or in person? Because she has phone sex a lot. Don't. On the road.

Chelsea. On the road. Look at that. That look right there is, first of all, she has five personalities. One is Roshanda. The one is Lucy. One is Denzel. And then one is Shaniqua Donk.

Yeah, but I told you. I said I will not let your white ass call me no Shaniqua Donk. So you better find a new name, bitch. It better be Barbara or some shit like that. Barbara, okay. Lucy is the helpful spirit. Lucy will come in out of nowhere and all of a sudden, because she has different accents she talks in.

So she's borderline or something. I have borderline personality disorder. Yeah, borderline five of them. I thought borderline meant two, but it's not. That's a split personality. She has like several different people going. I do. So it's pretty tricky.

But the good thing is that she can always snap back quickly. So it doesn't, like, even though it's a lot of drama, and I'm saying that in a patronizing way, kind of. Like, even though it comes with a lot of drama, she recovers from the drama, so the drama doesn't last. It's not a long duration. But there's always drama. But the thing about it is, the thing,

and I think they're learning this, I have to internalize everything so I can deal with it. So that's why it doesn't stay. If you catch me in the midst of dealing with something that's drama, I'm focused and my spirit is on that so be like oh my god Yama what's wrong with you really just leave me give me five minutes to process this and by the time you come back to me I'm gonna be fine because my drama is never with the people it's always my environment and I'm trying to clear that up but I don't if I'm not like if I don't like you I wouldn't be around

you so I always tell people like is if I'm going to be upset I may have an attitude I may get scared but it's not directed at you and I'm also trying to fix that for myself so that I can come back to you and be Yama again you know like the fun girl yeah and it's really funny watching also not funny I guess more interesting and like from like our own experiences like watching how she goes through the world is like ridiculous it's shocking to me I'm shocked because she's the type be personality but she's but but she's also like her background and her experiences are so different than mine so for us to come together and to be able to like share of course she wants to sleep in my room because she's like oh you got your fucking shit dialed in let's go it's my time my

shit is dialed in because you know i've had different experiences in my life and like well you know that that contrast is very like fun to learn about you know like someone's experience side is so different well for me like okay so my background is I in terms of you being Puerto Rican is what I'm talking about I've always been isolated as a person I mean I have three beautiful half sisters we have different mothers one is in heaven two are living but I grew up an only child and I grew up a theater kid as well and I went to parochial school where a lot of shit was going on I was being you know I was being called the n-word every day a whole bunch of shit was going on so I withdrew very early on in life to just be a loner right and not really open up to people and be

around people and also I'm combating that I wasn't the traditional like my background is pretty conservative and I was always pushing against that you know so for me it's like there is a reckless abandon with me I fuck it I don't care nobody's gonna tell me how to be how to live you're not going to restrict me in any ways and sometimes that can come off very chaotic and then I get to be around Chelsea and I get to relax because she knows what she wants she's got her head on straight and everything is just in line so I sometimes I do feel like I can just lay with her and not have to worry about certain things you know yeah and that feels feels good I like to provide that you do you know our backgrounds are a lot more similar than you

think but I think for me to come back into a space where like you know I'm almost 50 I'm 47 there's a lot of things going on where I'm looking at myself as an adult too like how do I want to show up in the world how do I want to show up around other people and make them feel better about shitty situations I felt neglected I felt unseen I felt unloved and that's why the volume is so loud that's why it is so much in your face because I know I sat home and cried and I don't want anybody else to do that so I appreciate people who say to me you know what you made me feel good I like your material I like what you're saying I feel represented that's a really big deal for me so right now also my focus is just comedy it's not necessarily where I'm living what close

I got on you know I'm just a nomad running around this world going to CVS going to CVS I mean, the closest CVS, Marshalls, different. She was dragging around a suitcase, this little mini, like, what would you call that? A purse. It was like a purse on wheels. I got it at this boutique in Las Vegas. It was great. She didn't like it.

And then I let this bitch pressure me into getting rid of it. And when I was at LaGuardia, I still had the bag. I said, oh, shit. She doesn't like this bag. She's going to dog me for this bag. So I went and bought a new bag at LaGuardia. And then I said to the woman that I was buying it from, I was like, oh, my God, I don't know what I'm gonna do with this bag and she goes oh I'll find somebody to take it I was like I bet

you will bitch it was a fantastic bag but then this person told me that she didn't like it I don't like you looked like a bag lady I looked like a sophisticated woman it was open and shit was spilling out of it because she's got liquids she travels her suitcase is filled with different liquids like drinks like energy drinks are in the suitcase that she's traveling a lot of way to just liquid is good but it's the truth stop eating whole shit stop eating substances of like conversation you just don't did you smoke a joint i didn't give me some of this oh no i got to get another one a little dog walk no i want i should have got remember i have that big one should i go get that can we take a break during this you didn't want that i got the eighth one of the

world give me this the light the light the light baby well so small it's a dog walker what does that mean the fleet lasts the amount of time to walk the dog that is really funny why this is a snack it's like a snack joint yeah so the dog gotta piss and poop right away and then come back because this is not my cats would need more than this if i walk them behind every night spent making the kids lunches there's a lot of suspense will they finally eat the veggies will the pesto survive the first bite will the lunchbox come home empty half full or come home at all and will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers get bell pure fiber internet with crave netflix and disney plus from 94 a month price guaranteed

for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files.

I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone

at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story.

I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse.

Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.

I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here.

It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Are we supposed to take callers for this? Yeah, we got callers. Okay, awesome. We got callers. Okay, great. All right, so let's do that. Okay. All right, our first caller today is Bella.

And her subject line, by the way, is, my brother's wife's lover. What? Dear Chelsea, My brother just dropped a huge bomb on me. My brother is 10 years my junior, and we have always been very close. We lived in the same building together in NYC for over 20 years. He moved out 10 years ago when he and his wife had their first child.

While on a peaceful vacation recently, my brother called with a bombshell. He told me his wife is having a consensual affair with a female family friend. He said they were all open to it at first, but now his wife has feelings for the other woman, who is also married to a man. I was stunned, cried, and I was upset. Not because I'm judgy. I'm open, liberal, and fair. My feelings were reactive for the kids and the family dynamic. He's now unhappy with the agreement, and she is conflicted.

My main concern is for the children. I did advise my brother, but I need additional advice. What would you do if this was your brother? What would you advise him? Bella. Hi, Bella. Hi. We've got Yamanika here.

Hi, Bella. Oh, Yamanika. Hi, baby. How are you? I am well. Hi, Chelsea. Oh, God. What an interesting dilemma.

It's kind of like a, I mean, I know this is your family member and your brother, but it's kind of like a sign of the times. Like women are just like, women are wrapped with men. They're ready to be with a woman. Like it is, it's so prevalent and it's like we're on the cusp of like it becoming an even bigger thing, like at the tipping point almost. Yeah, it's not actually the shock of the woman. it's just how she went about it and just the disrespect you know like this big bomb where

are things right now is has there been a transition at all is everyone still living in their same homes yes everyone is still living in the same homes you know my mom lives in the house too my my 82 year old mother oh and she got to deal with all this musical chairs in the bedroom Yeah. Does she know what's going on? She does. What's her opinion about all of this? Well, she's 82 years old and she was incredibly shocked and, you know, surprised because this is someone that was hanging out with our family. Like I said, I moved up here. I'm very close to my brother, the kids and everybody. And this woman was around. We had a holiday together. We had Thanksgiving together.

Are you still in New York? I'm an hour north of New York now. Whenever you come into the city, I got two tickets for you. Come see me at the cellar, okay? Just for this ordeal. Maybe bring your brother. Let me know how many tickets you need. I'll take care of you.

Maybe we can work this out there. That sounds good. I got you. We'll connect, okay? I think what the problem is, is you see this as a betrayal, but we have to go back to the beginning that it was consensual, right? So at some point, it seems like your brother agreed to this dynamic and you can't help falling in love with somebody once you open the door of intimacy. So if she did just went into a physical thing and didn't know she was going to fall in love, it's like Chelsea would say, whoopsie doodle.

But once you you have to think about all the things that you open up when you put yourself in that situation. Now, on the flip side, I do understand what you mean about the kids, how they're going to feel, this whole relationship dynamic, but we are in a time where the world is changing. In our time, if something like that happened, people would have to go to therapy, nobody would know what to do, and then it would be hush-hush. Now, the children, your nieces and nephews, are also dealing with other kids who are also having these type of dynamics in their families, so it won't be so isolating for them. So I think if you can somehow find a way, which is going to be hard, right, to not be so emotional about it and see how you can come in and maybe help, right, or be a lending hand to them how they need it, that would be better served for them than the judgment that they're getting through this process. I agree with you. I do. I do.

But, you know, where we are now is in a very small town. Everybody and everybody business, right? Correct. What was the advice that you gave your brother? Well, at the time, I just told him to take a step back. And yes, I agree with Yamanika. It was consensual. You know, they were doing their thing more than I ever expected.

But that's all good. You know, you do you. I think, yeah, now it's more like the betrayal, like you said, the disrespect to my mom, to the family, to the kids. And well, I have a question about that, because where is the disrespect coming in? Is this a betrayal coming in? Because it sounds like everybody was on board with this when it started. I don't know that it is a betrayal to say, well, I started a relationship with this other

person with everyone's consent, and then I fell in love with this person. I mean, was there other stuff going on or? Well, he had asked her to stop when it started getting too crazy, because then they they agreed that they were going to stop because it was getting out of hand okay and then when he asked her to stop it just continued and she was you know kind of sneaking around and going around and yeah he behaved badly too during this time and then he had said to her listen this is going to destroy us to destroy the family and sure enough here we are yeah it's a it's a bell you can't unring you know I guess the disrespect to me now is that she's still running around with

this woman with the kids and I just keep thinking I mean if it were a double if my brother now falls in love with a man and takes the kids around with the man how will she feel about I have to be I have to be really honest with you in this moment I feel like you have I know it's your brother but you have so much judgment coming from you. You're not, she's not trying to humiliate you. She's not, this isn't intentional. You can't help it. Like they had an open relationship and she fell in love. And I know that's hurtful for you to your brother, but like you have to let go of your anger towards her. It's not going to be helpful. That energy is not going to help the situation that you're in at all. You need to be a positive influence on the situation and positively

support your brother. You don't need to hate on this woman and what she did to support your brother. Like it's life. Shit happens. People fall in love and they fall out of love. And what you can do is be a beam of light and support for your brother. And that's all. You don't have to deal with her. Like, yes, I know it's part of your life, but give her a break. Just be cool. Yeah. And I think, you know, being the age that we are, we grew up in this era of compulsory heterosexuality right where it was like the default is that you are straight and this woman I think has discovered that like her her sexuality is somewhere else on the spectrum other than just straight and there's a judgment for that from you as well like I can see you know and you got it

like yeah that's old that's old thinking that's like the olden times it's okay it's not humiliating that she's a lesbian now that's not a humiliation on your family it's not a humiliation at all right but also the sting of it is that's family right so they're not it no matter what once you betray my family like i'm done with you when they were supposed to stop she should have been honest at that point said i can't stop because now i'm in love let's take sexuality out of it for a second because when she went into the shit she was at the very least by because she's going she went to go fuck a woman not a man okay so we can take that off the table what happened is whatever she found over there on that table it was replacing more than whatever your brother was giving her she fell

in love not in lust in love that means I want you outside of fucking you I want the relationship I want to see you I want to talk you are my person and I think they need to be honest about maybe they just need to separate all together yes yeah and I'm not being judgy that it's it's a woman And honestly, I'm not. No, it's not judgy. But you know what, Bill? Let me just say this. And I'm saying this out of love.

When you said, how would they feel if my brother was going around with a man, that makes it a judgment on sexuality. Because why didn't you just say if he was going around with another lover, right? So when you say things like that, it tings like maybe there's a little bit of homophobia there. Maybe there's some concern. Why are you so concerned about male and female in this situation? but at the same time I think emotions are going to be high for you regardless because this is your brother

the way you described him in this letter was like oh they really fuck with each other like that and she loves her brother down so your judgment is completely clouded in this situation well and I think like the place you want to get to or you want your brother to get to is however this shakes out whoever winds

up with whom you want those kids to have happiness to have adults in their life that love them even if that's not your brother and sister-in-law together exactly like people who love them and care for them you want them to feel held but like there's going to be some complicated stuff to get to that point so i think your role here is just to like absolutely support everyone be there for the kids and then also like speak positively about their mom like nothing is going to come of you know any trash or negativity there well that's yeah definitely nothing like

Yeah. No, I don't think you would, but just getting everyone as quickly as possible and as smoothly as possible to the place where like they can have multiple families that love them and everyone gets along really well, even though there's going to be some complicated stuff in the middle. Yeah. And it happens. It can happen. We've all seen it happen. Think about it like you'd want to think about it in five years, like you handled this with grace and aplomb, you know, like, oh, you are a beam of support for people. and you helped transition them into the next phase. And I see a lot of you in me, Bella, in terms of like, I receive information. I know some of this may be grading on you, but also some of it, you're glad you're receiving this.

Take all that we've given you and then run it through your own filter, which is what I would be doing. And then find out because- And then find your local CVS store and hit that. No, but I really feel for you in this situation. You have such a beautiful presence about yourself and spirit.

And I know you just want the best. So, but I know for me, there was nothing, there's nothing better in my life than my aunts, no matter what the love of my honestly, I know I'm, I'm not judging. I mean, trust me, if I could describe my life in New York city, I was wild. And in every gay club, like it's nothing like that at all. yeah I was probably in it with you yeah probably absolutely no problem with that it's the problem I have is mainly just with with the bomb that went off and and the disrespect and and I worry for my niece and nephew mainly really they'll be fine I promise you they'll be fine they really will we're not in it's not mayberry it's not leave it to beaver it's people doing all kinds of shit out here in this world okay and and what you told me is tame compared to what i've been showing chelsea dicks from some guy i barely know and it's like you know with him jerking off it's like so when

you talk about that yeah she had phone sex three times his dick is so amazing you know whatever it just looks gorgeous i mean honestly okay this is not appropriate i know all right okay bella take our take our advice like listen to what we said and then we like re-listen to this because it will help you okay yeah yeah I I definitely will I'll follow up and let you all know please do Bella up with us in like six months or so and like let us know how things are shaking out over there okay definitely thank you bye take care bye-bye that was a good one you've always given some really fucking great I can't stand you

this is another personality this is what can we call it what's her name for it the one that loves me just me though let's call her Justine oh that's boring

what about Lawanda why do you always every fucking name you put up got to be some bitch that goes to the swap meet in Englewood. Stop it! Chelsea? Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of

suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode 8 before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from

$94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability bell connection is everything when i was 14 years old i was kidnapped and held captive for nine months i survived and i've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them i'm elizabeth smart and these are the survivor files i just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up don't say anything every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming

they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books,

the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, not that great.

Actually, can you help me shape this? How about we flip it on its head? How about we flip this around? What if the surprise woman, who actually you think is the straight man, is actually the one who's acting weird? Adam Scott, this entire time, you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show. I would never let go of that. I have never set expectations for something like that. It seems like if the universe allows for something like that to happen, I'm open to it.

I'm always going to accept, you know, Danny McBride. Fine. Yeah. It's all this fragile masculinity exuding. i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity yeah ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my

life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode but he's just so busy listen to hollywood handbook on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts what's our next situation okay so we thought that was a little messy we're gonna about to get a little messier oh these are good yes so mckinley says dear Chelsea I'm a 43 or were we

we both when you said it was getting messy and we were both like and you took the words right out of my mouth I'm like okay let's do okay dear Chelsea I'm a 43 year old ex-Mormon trans guy with two kids from my previous marriage

hold on reread on you gotta read that I'm a 43 year old ex-Mormon, trans man, with two kids from my previous marriage to a man.

Yes! Is this Bella's brother or sister? Probably! My birthday is coming up and I'm really hoping this next year is less about cleaning up all my ex's whoopsie doodles. My main issue is with my kid's dad. On paper he's supposed to have visitations,

but in real life I spent years bending over backwards to make visits happen. Visits eventually stopped because he constantly dropped the ball. He would drink when he had them, sometimes to the point that the kids would call me scared or confused and I'd have to drive an hour each way to pick them up, while also trying to convince the kids that this was all normal dad stuff. He acts like I quote took the kids away, even though he was barely showing up. Meanwhile, our youngest is exploring her gender identity now, and he doesn't even know. So I'm stuck between wanting to protect her privacy and feeling like I'm hiding something huge about his own kid from a man who hasn't exactly earned trust. As a bonus side quest, I also have an ex-fiancee who I own a house with, which we're trying to untangle after a breakup.

Through all of this, I clearly have a history of choosing bad partners, and the universe keeps handing me group projects. Now I'm in the Midwest trying to build a good life with my girlfriend, who voted for Trump, so that's already a fun plot twist. Baby! And our blended family. I'm basically rebooting my life as this new version of me. So I'd love your advice on how to be honest with my kids, dad about our child, exploring their gender identity.

And do I start visits back up after 18 months of none? How many chances do you give out, give a checked out partner before you stop trying and how to balance starting over new career, new partner, new version of me with actually having time and energy left for my kids. Thanks for reading and untangling this with me. McKinley.

Yeah. I think you should begin. First of all, let me just say mckinley you're the type of person i would fall in love with i mean like she falls in love with somebody every day every day but also like no no no because i've i know what you're doing you're looking for love baby and in the process of looking for love you keep going to places that are just taking advantage of your spirit and i think it started with the Mormon church they're garbage I think you know it also starts with you now trying to you know

you're going into a world of a new identity to the world and how the world is seeing you then you have to have this partner that you were in love with and with and had children with have to now discover this new identity who you are they're probably not processing that well which is why you have this distance so that's another person abandoning you then you're like You don't want to see your daughter go through the same thing because she's also trying to figure out what her identity is. But I can guarantee you that your former partner has no idea how to help her at all. And if anything, might be a deterrent. If after eight months, 18 months of not seeing, it is done for the children, right?

Because they cannot have this wishy-washiness in their life. It is irresponsible of that person. And then because it's irresponsible, you're safeguarding your children. They have to kind of go no contact at this point. From my perspective, what I think you need to do is you need to write down what McKinley wants, what McKinley needs, so that you start going towards partners that have that. Because how you got hooked up with somebody who was a Trump supporter, knowing that everything that aligns with what you got going on is anti-Trump and the nonsense they have over

there is because you don't have enough safeguards around your spirits and you don't have enough boundaries in your life and you don't love you first. Once you fix that, you don't need our advice and the rest of the shit is going to fall. You are a beautiful person. I can just tell by your smile and spirit. Thank you so much for writing this and it resonated with me in a lot of ways because I feel abandoned a lot. I felt unseen and unloved and I kept running after people who didn't love me, because sometimes you think to yourself, if I can get somebody who doesn't love me and doesn't respect me to love me and respect me, I've won a battle and you haven't. Okay. I hope that resonates with you. I just want to leave that with you just in love. Cause I think

it's more about you than anything else. Once you get with you, everything else is going to fall in place. Yeah. Yeah. How is that falling on you, McKinley? That's great advice. My current girlfriend, i'm with voted for trump and um she actually is a really good person for me so my problem that i have with is not with my current girlfriend no no but it should be it should be let me tell you why it should be right we have to be real about assessments and i'll bring it back to chelsea and i the optics on this and i've said this before i'm a black woman who talks very crazy about white people don't trust white people and I shouldn't right the history of white people is gross but at the same time it's like I wouldn't I'm not here to like dance and prance for somebody

because I want to be accepted and I want to be loved like over here I know that if some shit's going down even though I get on her nerves this woman has my back when it comes to being a woman a black woman all of that support if she didn't I could not be here there's something in you that you think is okay you can't be with the Trump subpoena I'm just telling you baby everything you got you're a trans man divorced right you understand right the fact that you think she's a good person she's a da da da da not in this time and climate because there's got to be something that she's got going on with her because how could she vote for Trump when Trump is against you right I get that sometimes you make mistakes and growing up Mormon I yeah I yeah so when I had a

phone call with her because I met her online two hours into the phone call was when I dropped the whole hey you probably didn't realize I'm a trans male on my profile and she said at this point i would be a complete idiot to not give this a chance and that was um about six months ago so we just started dating it in in january no that baby listen to me i say the same thing everybody's lying okay i'm not telling people i'm a comedian i tell men i teach blind cats how to read so the reality is people are saying all kinds of shit it's been six months she would be a fool right to adhere to what she got going on to lose out on you but the reality is there's going to be a time when she's gonna have to choose between you and what she believes in and I'm telling you baby

that's dangerous territory for you yeah okay I hear you yeah yeah I agree with her I think that yeah you it's like you have a pattern of behavior that's like a pathology and you kind of have to nip it in the bud. Like you're not looking after yourself. That's why it's like a repetition of kind of bad choices. Well, and I get why it feels comfortable, right? Because it's like, you know, you're coming out of this previous relationship. Things are tumultuous with work and with your ex and all these things, but, or exes and all these things, but this feels comfortable, right? Like this feels like a, like a cozy safe space where you are held. But I do think that Yamanika is right. Like when it comes down to her choosing between her church that has

very conservative views, like her beliefs and her relationship with you, I think there's going to be a dividing point there. But I want to also go back to what Yamanika was saying about how we fill the void that's happening for you and how we get McKinley to love McKinley so that you can stand on your own two feet. Are you in any kind of therapy seeing anybody in that capacity i was in therapy and i was on medicine and i work at a company that doesn't provide very good um insurance coverage so i have to wait until next month to start therapy again mary j blige has a song called good morning gorgeous right yes yes and it's like at first i was like this is so ridiculous you know like you got to do this but i started getting into

that song and it's like you need to get up in the morning and say good morning gorgeous to yourself i can see it all over you and not as a judgment it's because i am like that too this is like really sensitive and you're trying to hold it all in and but it's hurting you at the same time and as long as you're okay and acquiesce to the bullshit around you you think you'll be safe but you won't you're a great person amazing like just from the presence of you yeah i want you to know that and i don't know if you see that in you and you need to you got to baby you have to i'm trying no you really do immediately when i saw you on the screen i said wow just so beautiful really i i try so hard and i've been trying to ask for help it's like i get nine yards out of the 10

yards and i can't freaking get that one yard it's like i try to ask help for everywhere and try to figure things out and i'm just so financially screwed trying you know it's just like how do you do all these things you know how do you like i have all this past i'm trying to protect and protect my future and trying to do so many things it's just so hard uh sorry no you're okay we're also going through this you know what i mean like i cry yes chelsea cries you know we've cried to each other like you're not alone in this feeling it feels so isolating, but I promise you, and I understand finances, God knows, you know, and I understand all those things. They can change the fabric of your life. But the first thing you have to do

is you have to love you and really know that all the decisions that happen in your life have to be because they are going to benefit McKinley. Do you understand? Because if not, the finance is not going to get good. The relationship is not going to get good. You're going to keep chasing things that don't serve you because like Catherine said, you just want to be comfortable, but you're unfortunately comfortable in trauma. I think I'm just like in survival mode. I'm just trying to just, you know, I mean, if individual therapy isn't something that can happen right now for financial or any other reasons, let's find you a support group in your area so that you have some outlet for this. Like we need weekly support, right? Right. You don't have to do this alone and

we don't want you to do this alone. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate it. Yeah. And Chelsea, what would you say as far as like, if there's a step that McKinley can take every single day to just get in touch with himself and listen to himself, what would. Yeah. You should get up in the mornings and write down like you are magnificent. You are magnetic and you are resilient and like write those three things down each morning and in your, you know, on a piece of paper and start saying that to yourself okay that was magnificent resilient what was the second one magnetic magnetic thank you and also go find your own words i wouldn't be writing too many things down that she says you know what chelsea is my god so i will listen that's where you bad

decisions again i know hey i'm your god too bitch honey i wish the lord over jesus christ The Lord is inside me The Lord is within all of us Bitch you wouldn't even cross the street To get me a hot dog And you think I put you in a spray for Nazareth And not no way Yo soy Lordo

No es Lordo No es Lordo That is correct I served a mission And had to learn all Spanish It could be will you check in with me uh let me know if you can find something in your area if not i'm gonna help you look um like somewhere that you can uh have a group every week um but will you check in

with me like pretty quickly and we'll we'll get you on the right track thanks for calling in we do love you i love you love you baby all thank you so much of course my love behind every night spent making the kids lunches there's a lot of suspense will they finally eat the veggies will the pesto survive the first bite will the lunchbox come home empty half full or come home at all and will you finish episode eight before you're done slicing the cucumbers get bell pure fiber internet with crave netflix and disney plus from 94 a month price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit visit bell.ca for details and to check availability.

Bell. Connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything.

every week i'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable i knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me i started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and i just started screaming they are abducted stalked controlled and nearly silenced but these aren't stories about what's taken from them they're stories about what it takes to make it out alive Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books,

the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much,

you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners.

Each week, we talk to someone in show business, a.k.a. the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show we've had a lot of great guests like sarah sherman not that great actually can you help me can can you help me shape this yeah how about we flip it on his head right how about we flip this around okay what is the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird adam scott this entire time you've been expecting adam sandler to come to visit the show i i would never let go of that i have i would never set expectations for something

like that if the universe allows for something like that to happen i'm open to it i'm always going to accept you know danny mcbride fine yeah it's all this fragile masculinity exuding i could smell it walking down the hallway to be honest with you i was like is that weed nope it's fragile masculinity ben stiller no because a lot of times in out of context people don't get it or even know what a circle is you know what i mean like you're like oh what's this state everyone's so dumb and fake right fake and and also not interested or just like oh i've got my life i don't care about your life and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us oh and by the way will ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every

episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I do have one more caller if you're ready for... Chelsea gets tired of helping. Let's go. Let's run through here. Okay, our last caller is Katie, and she says to your

Chelsea, I need advice for how to deal with my sister. We're both in our 50s and a year apart. We were very close as children, but we went in very different directions as adults. That said, we still live in the town where we grew up, and we're both close with our mother and extended family. Here's the problem. There was no inciting event, but over the last several years, maybe even going back to our early 30s, we're like oil and water.

We tolerate each other, but there's constant tension. I know I'm not perfect, but it feels like she's constantly sniping at me, criticizing me, being negative, and cutting me down. I've been sober for almost three years, and I'm committed to live and let live toward life in general. I try to tune her out and be the bigger person, but it gets harder every time I see her. We just spent the weekend traveling with our 80-year-old mom for a family event, and I'm ready to never speak to her again. But that would break my mom's heart, which is out of the question. I also don't want to lose my only sister, but maybe I already have. I know you've been through a lot with your extended family, Chelsea, so any thoughts?

I appreciate you and your team, Katie. Hi. Hi, hi. Hi. Hi, how are you? Hello, Katie. It's so exciting to be here. Hi, this is Yamanika.

Good to have you. Hi, I'm Yamanika, Katie. Oh, my God. I'll try to watch my mouth in your presence. I know how sensitive you are. Baby, you're so slick, cutie pie. You trying to be my sister? Well, wait.

What's the situation? Why can't you get... Is she so annoying and you're so annoying to her? You both hate each other? Like, annoy each other? Kind of. Yeah. Are you angry at her about something?

After this trip that we went on, my husband said the only solution he saw was that we go in the backyard with boxing gloves. oh all right well there's a resentment somewhere where where's the resentment i don't know i mean i i could i could make some guesses i mean i think that our lives have turned out you know our lives have turned out basically the way that we wanted them to you know i always wanted to be a career person and i am my sister is a stay-at-home mom and she loves her kids and she loves that but it seems like i think she resents the freedom that i have i mean if i had to guess i'd say what that is but it's so hard to have an honest conversation with her that I'm speculating when I say that so what's your issue with her it's just it's the constant cutdowns it's the constant it's just

she's cutting you down yeah right she's trying to belittle you because I think I don't think she probably is as happy as you think she is or satisfied right I think it I'm not a mother and I've never been able to fool a man into marrying me. But I can tell you this, that there is a sense of accomplishment quite early once you go into relationship that probably goes into marriage and then children. And then after that,

you have to look at yourself and go, what's next? That's something that you don't have to worry about as a career woman, because what next is the career thing. You haven't really locked down life. People are locking down life early, seeing people do and evolve beyond where they've stopped. and then there's a resentment so because she feels bad about what you got going on in the freedom you got she wants to cut you down and make you feel the same as her you cannot be in a relationship

like that without communicating hey I listen I don't like when you say this I don't like when you say that it makes me feel this way if they love you enough and respect you enough then they will hear it if they don't then you just have to separate but I you can't force your sister to have conversation with you, if she doesn't want to have a conversation with you, and if she's not going to talk or communicate her real feelings to you, then you have to either limit contact or go no contact. When she's cutting you down, what's your reaction to that? I just, I kind of go gray rock, you know, I just, I dissociate, honestly. Sometimes I, sometimes I try to change the subject. It just depends on who else is around us. Very rarely is it just her and I,

because I don't spend time with her unless I really have to because of the larger family. And I don't want to be rude or cause a, you know, a big family kerfuffle by telling her, you know, you're being rude, you're being a jerk, can you stop? You know, it just feels so impossible to me because of the larger family dynamic. Let me ask you something. When you get angry, do you really, like, is it uncontrollable anger? um i i'm i'm an enneagram one if that makes any sense i'm a you know the perfectionist type that just internalizes what's your star sign should that'll make sense to her no it's not what i'm

saying to you is what i do a lot and it gets me in problems uh right is because i know like once you piss me off once i've gotten pissed off and i've gone beyond there's no i'm i'm getting ready get with your ass in a really wild way right and probably when I'm done getting with you we're gonna have to sever ties unless you can emotionally get over the fact that I just ran you into the ground so a lot of times I try to avoid those situations by being the nicer person the bigger person or the I you know and over time that builds up and it's frustrating to you because it's like you're going great rock all the time while your sister going hot lava you need to get with her In these moments, you need to be like, hey, bitch, hold on a second.

Why are you talking crazy to me like that? What's up? What have I done? No, because as long as you allow it, it's going to get done that way. I agree. I think you have to face it honestly. And even if she can't be honest, you have to get her to be honest. You have to be like, listen, this is ridiculous.

We hate each other. Why do we hate each other? Let's talk about it. Would you rather? I would like to figure this out. Let's figure this out together. What can I do? i'll do anything to have as a normal relation do you fucking hate me like you have to have like a

moment of real honesty to get because you guys then can actually break the all the tension and come together yeah sorry that i'm yelling no you're right you're passionate okay yeah yeah so that i she was passionate she was talking about her and i that's how we we're also these sisters did you write this letter and tell her to go put it in shut up shut up oh but yeah but i also can't I can't dime out Chelsea like that. But also, I feel like there can't be, like, tension without two people having the tension. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

Like, if she, you can't, there has to be something coming from you, too, that is, like, an explosive energy. And that's why it should, it needs to combust. You know, like, you can't dance when somebody's not dancing. Yeah. I mean, I can, actually. That's the only time I should be dancing is when no one else is dancing. No, but you're right. But I'm not dancing at a good dancer.

But you seem like you're in this thing by yourself. And Chelsea's right. You got to engage your sister in it. Because she also has to feel uncomfortable. You think she's writing a letter somewhere about what you got? No, she's not writing a letter. She's over there baking cookies for your nieces and nephews. And you over here trying to figure out how you're going to get your situation back with your sister.

You guys are sisters. Either that's important to you or it's not. If it is, then some egos are going to have to shift. some conversations are going to have to happen and hopefully at the end of it you guys remain sisters and build on a better relationship. Yeah and I think the time to have this conversation is not after she's just said

something that activates you but like before you go into time with your mom or whatever this is separate. Let me just say this I say wait till she act cause then she know who for real if you do this bitch every time you do this

you activate this you understand you start training you do this and then I become this right and have the conversation with her here if you want to keep

meeting me here bitch I'm available to meet you here sorry to keep calling your sister a bitch one of y'all is a bitch but you know

but right for sure one of you is a bitch I don't know we gotta hear your sister's story maybe she'll write it next week but what I'm telling you is

the reality is every time she's like this you gotta give her the results of what that is so that at some point she'd probably go, whoa, hey, can we talk?

She might be coming to you to talk because if you're going to be a warm, bad bitch, so am I. That would shock her so badly because I think everyone in my family is so used to me being like, you know, just so non-reactive to things because that's how I deal. And she's not saying this stuff to you to not get a reaction.

She might be surprised at a reaction, but she's saying it to goad you. I mean, even if it's something as simple as like, she says something shit and you're like, wow, I can't believe you felt comfortable saying that to me I can't believe you felt it was okay to say that to me. Yeah, and I can't believe it's not butter, bitch. But what I'm telling you right now is the next time you say something wild to me, I'm all over the place.

You have the profile of a serial killer. Do you understand? Serial killers lay dormant. Nothing. Doing nothing. They also running businesses and baking cookies and shit. And then one day you're going to flip out. Make sure, redact my address from anything that might be on any paperwork.

Because you're not going to come kill me for giving you bad advice. I can tell you where Chelsea lives. Actually, I have to move because you stayed here. Oh, that's the thing that got her to move. I have considered from time to time saying to her, you know, I'm sorry, could you repeat that? Because I think if she could actually hear herself say, like, one of the things. Yeah, yeah, that's a good first step. Could you repeat that?

That's a good first step on your journey back to having this turn into a. Could you repeat that? Because I know, I know you are. yeah yeah somewhere in the middle is some good advice for you on this i think we really like i we definitely unfortunately got sky hot very high but that's denzel no that's like that but i do i do want you like no matter what all joking aside with this we do want you to have this conversation with your sister you owe it to yourself because you feel a certain way about it So even though you might be nervous about it, you're intimidated by it, I promise you, once you have that conversation, whether it's good or bad, there's going to be a relief that you feel because at least you're going to have some better answers than you do now.

You have no idea what's going on with you and your sister. You know what? That's a very good point. Like, I had several years ago a similar conversation with my sister where we, like, went to dinner. We knew we were going to hash some shit out. we had a lot of martinis like we talked about it and like there were some things that she had said to me in the past that she didn't know were as hurtful as they were and it was you know repetitive stuff and there were things I had said to her that I had no like dumb jokes I was trying to make and

like oh that was really actually very hurtful to her so it really was eye-opening to be able to like have a conversation where you know you are going in to have this conversation about like we need to work some shit out. We need to figure some stuff out so that we can be around each other when we want to be here for our mom, because that's where you want to be. Right. Yeah, that is the most important thing to me. Exactly. Exactly. And I, you know, I like, I mean, my mom is in really good health. But, you know, I like to think that she sees this tension, even though she absolutely refuses to weigh in on it. And I think she would like, she would like to leave this earth knowing that our two girls love each other and can get along.

And somebody has to be the cycle breaker. Yeah. So be that person. That's what I'm trying to do. So what you're doing isn't working. So you have to change your approach and then break the cycle. Be a disruptor. This is a good disruptor.

You're a bad disruptor. All right. Well, I'm glad you called in and keep us posted. Let us know what happens. I really appreciate the advice and all the good advice that you all give on your show over the years. So it's helped me a lot in different areas and I've passed it along to other people that have come to me for advice. It's just, I, you know,

you guys could be just like drinking martinis all day long and not helping people, but you're spending your time doing this. And I really appreciate it. Thanks Katie. I love that. Thank you so much. All right. Good luck with this conversation. Okay. All right. Thanks. All right. And that's it for us today. Thank God this is over.

I know, I know, but I have to be honest. I dropped out during the middle of one of those letters I just was like my head was in the fucking clouds I was thinking about what I'm going to eat later

I was thinking you guys would be a stone I picked some very complicated questions this was a great episode great questions I like all the drama I like heavy stuff like that

Yamanika you brought it today thank you I appreciate that and listen again I'm so excited to be on Dear Chelsea Network

this is I can't wait till we get the color of your foundation right i can't wait i can't wait till you stop bringing that up bitch i told you i'm fine don't worry don't be checking bitches about their face thank you so anyway if you want to hear less helpful advice but more in your ass shit please go listen to you're the problem myself included with yamanika on the dear chelsea network this is very exciting you guys please go listen to

Yamanika so you can get a dose of her the way I I want you to understand what my life is like so I want everyone to be yeah and you can follow her on Instagram also but if you see her do a live

please report her to me to you or to Instagram she hates me doing live now that she has a podcast she does not need to do as many lives once in a blue that means once every 30 seconds No, it doesn't.

All right. I love you, sort of. I love you. I love you. Okay, you know you do. It's called What's... You're the Problem. You're the Problem.

Would you like to learn the name? It's also Catherine, I love you too. Thank you for having me. I love you too, Yam. I have so much fun with you. Edit that part out. You know what? It's You're the Problem with Yamanika

on Dear Chelsea Network. Do you want to get a massage before you go to the airport tonight? I would love to. All right, bye. if you want advice from chelsea write into dear chelsea podcast at gmail.com dear chelsea is a production of iheart media follow chelsea on all socials at chelsea handler and find katherine on tiktok at flash cadabra dear chelsea is edited and engineered by brandon

dickert executive producer katherine law find full video episodes and minisodes now on netflix and get tickets to see chelsea live at chelsea handler.com I survived nine months in captivity and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the Survivor Files. Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.

Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. each week we're connecting the dots between books the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers book talk creators and plenty of overthought opinions listen to pro society on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts did you hear the new episode of the hey jonas podcast we are at d23 so we'll see who stops by the cast of frozen stopped by Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Adina Menzel. I auditioned for Frozen. What?

For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must have been why you didn't get it. Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. And I guess I can share that, uh... No way.

Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast, Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller,

and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.