Life with Nat - EP124: Nat's Chats #3

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Starting point is 00:00:57 Visit square.ca to get started. Whether it's a family member, friend, or furry companion joining your summer road trip, enjoy the peace of mind that comes with Volvo's legendary safety. During Volvo Discover Days, enjoy limited time savings as you make plans to cruise through Muskoka or down Toronto's bustling streets. From now until June 30th, lease a 2025 Volvo XC60 from 1.74% and save up to $4,000. Conditions apply. Visit your GTA Volvo retailer or go to volvocars.ca for full details. Hello everybody, happy Thursday. How's everyone doing? I have got a very, very heavy weighted head and I looked at my phone this morning. I'm recording this Wednesday, so very, very

Starting point is 00:02:00 up to date and it is a full moon this evening guys full moon now I'm not an expert as you know but whenever this happens I feel extremely overwhelmed and very heavy-headed so there we go strawberry moon the lowest moon since 2006 I haven't even written that down you know so that's quite good the memory is shocking to be quite honest. But thank you so much for all of your messages. As always, I put a little shout out yesterday. I've got loads and loads to get through.

Starting point is 00:02:34 Some of them are about EastEnders questions and stuff about how I feel leaving and what it was like to work with certain people and advice. So I might do a little special and save all of those because they're so sweet. I can really sort of have a deep dive into all of that. But thank you for those. And I've starred them all and saved them. Very organised, you see. But I had a lovely message here from Keem in London and it said, hello Nat, my question for your pod, if you see it, of course I see it. I see all of them. Well, as many as I possibly can.

Starting point is 00:03:09 How do you stay motivated? And more importantly, how do you stay so fearless when doing something new? I started a YouTube channel last year dedicated to reading. That sounds brilliant. An average reader, because I was tired of seeing channels setting unrealistic goals and telling people they're basically worthless if they aren't reading 50 self-help

Starting point is 00:03:30 books a day. So true, isn't it? I'm also a mental health nurse, so finding the time and motivation to do content can be challenging. I also get deflated if I see negative comments, which I know can't be avoided. I've been a fan of this pod for a long time and your approach and authentic style are such an inspiration to me. Even if this doesn't get read out in the pod, just know I adore you. I will, Keem, thank you so, so much.

Starting point is 00:03:57 Very, very kind. And listen, it's just everything is a juggle, okay? In terms of staying motivated, and I'm going to phone someone later actually who had a great question for me, Kirsty, I'm going to give her a ring. But I think there's part of me which knows that you just have to get stuff done. So it's not about being motivated, it's just fight or flight, you have to do stuff. I.e. you're washing, you're ironing, you're getting up in the morning, getting the kids to school, all of those basic things that me and Mark share quite well,

Starting point is 00:04:33 so I'm very lucky with all of that. I.e., you're cooking, you're basics, your needs. And then you have your work life. And I suppose for me now, it has changed radically because before, when I was in contract with EastEnders, I didn't really have to think. The only thing I needed to think about was learning my lines, what direction Sonya was going in, and making sure I was going to work being kind to people, checking everyone was all right because that's what I'm like. Now I feel much more in control of my career, but with that comes a lot of stress. But it's good stress, I suppose. Mark might tell you differently

Starting point is 00:05:15 because I am sort of tired all the time and a bit stressed. But I think it's good and I think it helps you and changes good. So in terms of motivation for me, getting all the jobs done, talking to Scott, obviously lovely Scott, my agent, every day, sort of continuously really with different emails, choosing what we're going to do, timelines, sorting out dates. The motivation for that is firstly financial, because we all work to earn money. Anyone who says they don't is lying to you. So firstly because we all work to earn money. Anyone who says they don't is lying to you. So firstly, we've got to pay the bills roof over our heads when we want nice things, holidays,

Starting point is 00:05:52 presents, et cetera, for people. So motivation is financial. And then secondly, it's lovely because it's freeing to do different things each week and I never know what's happening. So my motivation to organize stuff is exciting and never quite know if the decision I'm making, if I take that, what if something else comes in. It's frightening but it's also very exciting. I think also for the family, for the girls, for Mark, for all of my extended family, the motivation

Starting point is 00:06:27 is to do well, to make people proud of you and to show that you're working hard and that you can do it. For me, it's a real turning point to be doing things that I haven't done before and breaking that mould really of, oh, you've been in EastEnders for 32 years on and off, you're typecast, you're only Sonya. And of course I will always be Sonya, always. I love it to pieces and I've thoroughly enjoyed it and who knows I could go back in the future,

Starting point is 00:06:57 you just don't know. But at this point in time, it's so lovely to know that I'm worth a lot. And you know, it's so lovely to know that I'm worth a lot. It's about my worth and feeling worth more than just going to EastEnders and coming home again feels really, really lovely for me, Kim. It feels authentic to me and like you said, my authentic style. It's not a style, that's just who I am and I'm just a real person. So yeah, I hope that answers you. I'm waffling this morning but it's the first morning that I've actually felt half decent so that's why I wanted to do this pod today. Well, to be quite honest, if I hadn't have done the pod this morning,

Starting point is 00:07:40 it would have been another scraping the barrel, wouldn't it, tonight at 10 o'clock? And I think Mark's quite tired. He's hurt his neck actually. So he needs a little break from it. So this is why I'm doing this. So thank you, Keem, for that. And I hope that sort of answers your question. I had another lovely message here. Get well soon, that. I just wanted to say that my life has been rather topsy-turvy this past year computer keeps making a noise hang on if I turn it all the way down hopefully it won't beep honestly I'm such a technophobe I've never been in computer you know I've never been in an office it was funny actually the other day I wrote an article which was really lovely to do for the

Starting point is 00:08:22 I paper anyway I was writing it, I don't think it's been out yet and I said to Mark I'll finish this can you help me save the file and he looked at me he said sorry what do you mean I said well I've got to get this file now and email it to someone and he could not believe I couldn't do it and I said it I can't I've never done these sorts of things before so you know I'm, it's all learning. Plus doing this care course, which loads of you have mentioned by the way, which is really kind of you.

Starting point is 00:08:51 I can't really go right into it because it will spoil the programme and the programme isn't on till, oh, way, way next year. So don't expect it soon because it's a really long project. But I am learning, it's going to be a lot of home learning, so I've got a course, I'm on Teams and all of that. I haven't started the learning process yet, but it is going to be quite a lot of working myself around to the fact that I need to become a little bit more technical and computer literate. I might have to get Eliza to help me. Although when I said that, she said, I'm not helping you at all. And then you'll know how it feels to be so tired when you go to

Starting point is 00:09:29 school or college. Cheers Eliza. Thanks for that. Anyway, this message, get well soon that I just wanted to say that my life has been rather topsy turvy this past year following the end of my marriage and trying to juggle solo parenting of a toddler and a teenager. Your pod is such a comfort. I feel tremendous comfort from listening to you and your family and just want to say thank you. Well, I am so sorry that you've been through such a tough year, but it sounds like you are getting through, doing the best you can and parenting a toddler and a teenager solo must be extremely difficult.

Starting point is 00:10:05 I parented obviously Eliza for a little bit on my own and it is tough to be on your own so I'm thinking of you and I'm pleased that this pod brings comfort to you. I really do. Lovely message here from Geordie Kat. Why are you pet? Awful. Hi Nat, loving the pod. It feels like I'm part of the family when I listen. pit. Awful. Hi Nat, loving the pod.

Starting point is 00:10:25 It feels like I'm part of the family when I listen. What is your go-to for self-care? You've been really busy lately, tell me about it. And I'd love to know how you take a bit of time back for you. It's so easy to get caught up with work, parenting, running the file of facts of family life and putting yourself last. I've recently taken up reading again and it has really helped me to reduce doom scrolling. I read on average five to ten books per month. That was an awful lot of time I was spending on

Starting point is 00:10:56 my phone. Love to you all. Well, this resonates with me, lovely Geordie Cat, because as I said, I've not been very well. And I think what happened was I've done sort of job after job after job. And it's just been constant. When I haven't been at work, I've had that overwhelming feeling that I've not been at home. So it's all just been rush, rush, rush, rush, rush. And on Monday, I just I was shivering, shaking. It was definitely a little virus I'm sure but I took the day off yesterday which was really kind of the company I'm working for and I rested all day. I spent, well Monday I rested, yesterday I rested and I think the idea of self-care for me at the moment is actually just to have some rest.

Starting point is 00:11:47 And what I have been doing, which is why I love your message, is I have been putting my phone down. Once dinner is done, I've been trying to leave my phone in the kitchen and I've been reading some magazines. I'm a member at the Royal Academy, so that magazine came through. I've been reading that. I bought all of the Sunday newspapers, which I want to start doing again because I really enjoy them. So I've been reading all the supplements of those in the evening. And I think you're right.

Starting point is 00:12:17 I think putting the phone down really, really helps your brain. I am going to talk about phone usage later. I had a lovely message from somebody that I'm going to have a chat to. So yeah, in terms of self care, if I'm not as busy as I'm now, it's about going for a walk with a friend. I had to even let my best mate Sophie down where I didn't feel well, but going for a walk, just having a cup of coffee, reading, listening to music, your favorite podcast, having a bath. Listen, we all know what they are.

Starting point is 00:12:50 It's just fitting them in, isn't it? But yeah, I'm pleased to hear, I mean, five to 10 books a month is a lot of books. It's very, very good. Myself, Ells and Ro Ro were talking about maybe doing a book club on here, and I think that will also make me and a few of you put our phones down and do a bit more reading when we can. So I am going to think about it. It's just, could someone help me with the time span of that

Starting point is 00:13:16 because I am very busy so I don't want another thing to panic about. Could we do it where we're reading one book that has to be finished within four weeks a month because I feel like that would be doable or is that awful? Let me know 0778 20 1919. Let me know what you think. So I'm going to call Kirsty now who I've mentioned because I loved her messages. I'm not going to play them, I'm just going to give her a ring and have a little chat with her. Here we go. Hello? Hi Kirsty. Hi Nat, how are you?

Starting point is 00:13:57 I'm alright, I'm getting over a bit of a virus but I'm alright. Oh, there's so much going round. There's so much isn't there? But it's a weird one. It's because you're in a college now, you're going to catch everything. I didn't think of that. Yeah, think of those door handles you're touching. Oh, do you know what?

Starting point is 00:14:14 It's quite true. And I'm mixing, I'm going on quite a lot of placements with different people. Yeah, see? You need to have some hand sanitiser in your bag. Go back to the Covid days. Absolutely, no, please no. Good God no.

Starting point is 00:14:28 No, you are. I don't think we could cope. I don't think we would do it anyway. But no, I think you're right. The odd wipe or a bit of hand sanitizer is a great idea. Absolutely. I hope you feel better though. No, I do.

Starting point is 00:14:41 Honestly, I've had two days of doing nothing. I had to just cancel stuff and rest. And I do feel much better today. But I was telling everybody because I'm doing the pod, obviously, that your messages were lovely. I haven't played them. So I thought you could do it. We could just chat about them. So tell the listeners what you were saying. So last night when I saw your message on Insta, I was in such a stress because I had just got home, I work full time, I've got a six-year-old little boy, I try and exercise, I try and fit everything in, I had WhatsApp messages pinging, I had emails coming in and I just thought how do we do it? How do we fit

Starting point is 00:15:20 everything in? What do we have to give up to make life work? Because we're expected, aren't we, to have full-time jobs now because we can't afford for us not to. Absolutely, we're expected to look a certain way, which means we've got to exercise and look after ourselves and be outwardly have this perfect family life and this brilliant social life. And I just stood there thinking, life and I just stood there thinking, what do you give up? What do you give up? So for me, I get up at four o'clock in the morning. Yeah, no, no, no. Let's stop. We've got to stop there for a moment and let's talk about this. Okay, because you've told me this before and I've mentioned you on the pod. Yeah, you have.

Starting point is 00:15:58 Do you have a partner? Yeah. You do. Right. So when you get up at 4am to do your run or your strength training, whatever it is, three times a week, what time are you going to bed? Now, funnily enough, he had stern words with me last night because I fall asleep on the sofa at 9 o'clock. And he said, that's not proper sleep. You need proper sleep.

Starting point is 00:16:22 But then as we've been saying, something needs to give to fit everything in that you need to fit into life. Something has to give. So it's quite pressured, I think. Because I wanted to talk to you, I'm digging deeper really into the relationship you have with your husband's partner. Boyfriend, yeah.

Starting point is 00:16:41 Boyfriend, right? Because I find it, if I were to get up at four o'clock in the morning three times a week, I genuinely would have to go to bed at eight o'clock at night. Right, okay. I would have to do the dinners, get the kids to bed and go to bed. Yeah. And then if you do that over a long period of time, I feel like isn't your relationship suffering also? Absolutely, absolutely. And he's busy too.

Starting point is 00:17:06 He works six weeks. He's so yeah, of course it does. I feel like we're ships in the night. We don't hang out. And I didn't even mention him when I was saying about how busy we are. How awful is that? No, I get that because what we're doing here is we're just going into a woman's work, a woman's day and how our minds work, which is not a problem. But for me at the moment,

Starting point is 00:17:29 I do feel, you know, mine and Mark's time is extremely important. And precious. You know, precious. And in terms of actually having a really lovely evening, you know, a sexy evening, a proper evening for you, We haven't done that for a little while. No, no, because you have to diarise it. You have to diarise it, you have to get it written into a diary and then also follow it through. Absolutely. I've done this, I've gone through the whole year and put like once a month date night in there and date night could be anything. I think you've spoken about that on your pod too. It can be anything from having a bath together, whatever, but then

Starting point is 00:18:08 you actually have to do it. And how often does it get to it and you're like, oh, I can't actually be bothered. I know. And the problem with that is I feel that your partner, boyfriend, or if it's the other way around and they can't be bothered, we all then get insecure. But actually, there's absolutely no problem with the relationship. It is life and the amount of things we have to get done. Getting in the way, it's an absolute nightmare. So what do we do? What are we going to do? I think we need to, well firstly, we haven't even spoken about parenting.

Starting point is 00:18:42 Yeah, oh God. But you know, Parenting. But it's huge. You know, you've got, you said what, six and? He's only six, I've got one. So it's six. I don't know how people do it with any more than one. I really don't, hats off to you.

Starting point is 00:18:57 Yeah, I mean, I've got a six year age gap. But again, for me, it's hard because you've got to split your time. There are different stages of life. Absolutely. You've got some hormones, hormones just kicking in. Absolutely. Older ones, younger ones, but I get Joni to bed.

Starting point is 00:19:13 I'll be doing dinner, Mark will take Joni to bed, then I come down and then I'm arguing with Eliza over the phone, bringing the phone downstairs. We've got to have time together. I just feel that I'm permanently onto the next thing that I'm nagging about. Yeah, absolutely. It's just not pleasant. And my head is never quiet. My head is always like, okay, so what's happening this weekend?

Starting point is 00:19:35 What darties are there? What's happening at school? What's happening at my work? Because it's a busy time for me at work. What's happening? It's just an absolute nightmare. All I can say is I think we are all in the same boat. Yeah. And I think sometimes we feel really lonely and feel like, am I the only one that's so stressed and is this normal? And I've really, really this last couple of weeks felt like that. Like you say, my mind has been so busy and so noisy.

Starting point is 00:20:03 And Mark will say, why do you feel so busy? And I can't even put it into words sometimes. It's just like you say, I've got to get holidays coming up, holiday clothes. Oh, Eliza's got her exam. This happens. An email happens. Another thing happens. It's sports day. It's fast. It's fast. Yeah. It's just constant things. And I think we just have to try and take care of ourselves and take a deep breath. And I don't know if we drop stuff or if we have to cut back on things.

Starting point is 00:20:34 So, fit it all in, but just not as much in the week. I don't know what the answer is. I don't know what the answer is. I haven't seen my friends for weeks. I have not seen a friend genuinely for five weeks. I mean I'm very fortunate because I have my girls, I have Maria and Elia. So obviously I see family and they sort of always take priority just because we're so close. But I've only got a few friends that I count on a hand. Do you know, because that's all I can manage, and that sounds awful, but people

Starting point is 00:21:08 I want to see, I want to see. Absolutely. And I have to, we do try and make a concerted effort to see each other. Yes. But God, it's difficult. It's so hard. It is hard. And I have to say to you, my exercise has gone, I am not doing anything.

Starting point is 00:21:24 What I've tried to do this week is just being busy, you start eating crap, it's all of that cycle. So I've started to, because I don't know, Davinia Taylor, who I had on the podcast ages ago, but I've read her new book, Future Proofing, which I highly recommend. Oh, maybe I'll look at that. Have a little look, but again, you haven't got to do all of it because a lot of it is, if you did all of it, it would just be mad, like she does, that's amazing. But there are lots of little bits in that which can make you feel a bit better.

Starting point is 00:21:52 You know, just- They can take away. Well, just a little bit of a reset for me in terms of, you know, the eating and the drinking and, you know, just cutting back on the booze each night, trying not to drink as much. Because that's what you reach for when you get stressed. Absolutely. That's what you do, don't you?

Starting point is 00:22:07 Absolutely. I have to say exercise is one thing that I try not to let go of too much because it's so good for my head mentally. I need to do something because I need that outlet. Yeah, I think I've got to do the same actually. I've just got to put it in. Yeah. Have to do it. Absolutely. For me, at this time of year, this might sound crazy also,

Starting point is 00:22:28 but it's not an excuse because there are other things I can do. I'm not going to make an excuse, but my hay fever is so bad that I find it really difficult to go outside. Yeah. I've had some students actually, I teach and some of my students have been really rough with it. Really bad. It's really bad. I've had the hay fever jab, which I... Have you? It hasn't worked this year. Okay. And I take all of my stuff, but... What are you called honey? I've done everything, honestly. It's not working? I've tried everything. So for me, I love going for a walk by the river, a walk outside or a jog, a run if I can. So I can't operate if I do that.

Starting point is 00:23:09 Yeah, of course. Because I can't see or breathe. Oh, God. That's not good luck, is it? It's not a good look, honestly. Oh, bless you. But there you go. That's my moan over. But look, I think people will really enjoy listening to this conversation this morning because I think we all feel the same. Maybe they can give us some tips.

Starting point is 00:23:29 I think I could just do a pod on this every week for an hour and it wouldn't get boring. Absolutely. I do know that it's a full moon tonight. Now, I know that not a lot of people are into the moon, etc. Yeah. But it does make your mind extremely busy. So maybe after tonight, our minds might feel better. It will calm a bit. It's going to be a beautiful one as well. It's going to be strawberry moon.

Starting point is 00:23:52 Strawberry moon. Strawberry moon. Yeah. Yeah. Lovely. We need to get out and have a look. Howl at the moon and then we'll feel great. We'll feel great tomorrow.

Starting point is 00:24:00 You message me tomorrow and let me know how you're feeling. Oh, bless you. Thank you so much. It's been so lovely chatting. So nice to talk to you and keep in touch and we'll chat soon. Yeah chat soon. All right have a good day. Bye love. Bye. We all feel the same. That's what you've got to remember.

Starting point is 00:24:18 It's a lot but we will get through it and we have lovely pockets of joy and lovely days and sexy evenings when we can and lovely times with the children when we can and we see our friends and we're so grateful for them so we just need to remember that when we are feeling so so busy in our minds. Really really important. I love ravioli. Oh, tanto fami. Since when do you speak Italian? Since we partnered with SAP Concur.

Starting point is 00:24:50 Their integrated travel and expense platform and breakthrough solutions with AI gave me time back to dive into our financial future. We expand into Europe in 2027, so I'm getting ready. Well, you can predict the future? I can predict you'll like that message. What message? Whoa, hey, we all got bonuses. You can save for college now. I don't have kids.

Starting point is 00:25:07 You don't say. SAP Concur helps your business move forward faster. Learn more at Concur.com. Lovely Harry Bustin, my cabin crew friend, is on holiday at the moment and he sent me a picture of a freezer with lots of Maxi Bonzin saying I'm just on holiday in Menorca thinking of the pod. I hope you have a fantastic time, H. I really, really do and I'll speak to you soon. Someone has said,

Starting point is 00:25:35 Anne, hi Nat, I wanted to know if you were going to do some signed editions of your book. I've held back from pre-ordering in case, thank you. I will ask the company later. signed editions of your book. I've held back from pre-ordering in case, thank you. I will ask the company later. I will ask my publisher and see if we are gonna do some signed editions and I will get back to you, I promise. That's coming along nicely and all. I am so happy with it.

Starting point is 00:25:58 I cannot wait for you all to read it. It's really good and I'm very proud of it. Few little bits and pieces, little edits going in, trying to get a bit more humour in there, but I think you're going to really enjoy it. October the 9th, my mum's birthday, it's out. Very excited. She'd be proud. Julia from Hampshire has messaged me a question which really needs to be a pod on its own. Hi Nat, looking forward to the solo pod. Here's a question for you. What music are

Starting point is 00:26:32 you into? Like most people, I like elements of everything but I'm a pop girl at heart. My idol is Kylie and I saw her at the O2 a couple of weeks ago. I've seen her loads of times but this time was special as I got to take my 10-year-old daughter Emma with me for the first time. Serendipity was hard at work because I was also 10 when I saw Kylie for the first time back in 1990. Not only that but the last time I saw Kylie back in 2014 I was 39 weeks pregnant with Emma. We saw Sophie Ellis-Beckster last Saturday, and in a couple of weeks time we're seeing Dua Lipa. So excited for that one as I've never seen her before. It's at Wembley Stadium, so no doubt we'll be epic. I'd love to hear who your favourites

Starting point is 00:27:17 are and if there's anyone you'd love to see live. Julia? That is such a big question. I love all types of music from soul to jazz to pop to indie. I love the sixties. I had a cassette of lots of sixties songs when I was little, Jive Bunny and all of those guys. And I love all of the old songs. I like Country, Patsy Cline, Crystal Chandeliers. I listen to a lot of big band stuff because of my dad, Frank Sinatra, the Rat Pack, Nelson Riddle band. My mum loved the Carpenters and ABBA, so I love them. I really, and then 90s pop I grew up with, so of course I love the Spice Girls, Boyzone, Westlife, Take That, all of those. And I was a huge Britpop girl, massive. So I was a huge, huge Oasis fan, if you haven't already gathered that.

Starting point is 00:28:16 I don't like talking about it too much because everyone loves Oasis now and it just really annoys me. But yeah, I was a massive Oasis fan, huge Blur fan, Echo Belly, Ash. Honestly, it just goes on the Wombats I love, Arcade Fire, Elbow. Me and Elia are off to see Coldplay, which I am so excited about. We are going to see Coldplay in September. And that for me is a really big deal because not a lot of other people like Coldplay but me and Ellie do and I've never seen them live before so I'm really looking forward to that.

Starting point is 00:28:50 Eliza's off to see Lana Del Rey with some friends which I got her for Christmas which is a little bit nervy but she deserves to start going to concerts now. She's nearly 15 so I'm really looking forward to her doing that. I love Taylor Swift. She hates Taylor Swift. Can't see the big deal. I'm not a massive fan of Lana Del Rey, to be honest. It's all a little bit, ah, ah, ah.

Starting point is 00:29:12 But anyway, I put up with it. I listened to it. It's quite good. Rey, I went to see last year and had the best time. A big, big memory for me. I'll never forget it. She was incredible.

Starting point is 00:29:23 I would love to see her though in a smaller space if I could. But yes, music wise, we need to do a pod really. It needs to be in 1880s where we talk about all the music we love because it's a massive thing for me, huge part of my life. And yeah, I absolutely adore all of it. Perhaps we could do some top tens or something. Top tens of wedding songs. I mean, we love talking about songs that we hate, the ones that you'd walk out. If it plays at a wedding, I'm off, I'm going home. We can have fun with this. So thank you for your question and we will have a deep dive into that soon. I'm going to give Bex a call now, who was

Starting point is 00:30:03 very funny yesterday and I said, how's it all going? What you up to? And I said, I'll give you a call about 10. She said, oh, I can't talk at 10. I said, fair enough. I said, shall I call you about 11? She said, no. I said, fuck me. I'll make it half 10. So I'm going to do it because she's got a very busy morning. And let's see how she is and what she's up to. PHONE RINGS

Starting point is 00:30:30 Hi, love. Is this a good time? It's always a good time for you. Well it's not is it because I've just told the listeners you're like I can't do 10, I can't do 11 and I was like alright fine. It is alright, no it's absolutely fine. Excellent. How's your morning been? How are you? I'm alright, I'm good. Yeah? Good. I've just done my strength class. Well done you, how was it? Thank you so much I'm good. Yeah? Yeah. Good. How's this Diane? My strength class. Well done you. How was it? Thank you so much. Yeah, good. Yeah? Always feel better afterwards.

Starting point is 00:30:52 Always. And I just haven't done any exercise for young, so I was just moaning on about it. I need to stop making excuses and get on with it. I've just been really busy. I just need to get on with it. Yeah. So that's fine. And what are you doing after you speak to me? Where are you going? Well, actually that's all changed now. Oh, what is happening today is there's some there's a charity locally called the blossom charity And they are doing there and they're all their work They do is from fundraising basically and they're doing a race across suffolk over the next two days Amazing so it's to be on a checkpoint. Basically there's six teams

Starting point is 00:31:25 obviously getting there, go to the first location this morning, giving the next and the next. So yes, it's all been on the local news and stuff this morning but yeah, but it's really good. So that's like a miniature race across the world. Yeah. I love that. So yeah, now is that on tonight, the final? Is it the final tonight? I think it might be. I've started watching and again haven't had time to catch up but I loved everyone on it. Who's left? Same. Can we say that? No spoilers. No spoilers. If you haven't seen it, turn it off. There you go.

Starting point is 00:31:56 The two old guys, the brothers. Yes. They're my favourites. They're brilliant. The mother and son. Oh, they're still in? Yeah, the two sisters and then the young couple. Okay, okay.

Starting point is 00:32:12 They're all within seven hours I think so they're all quite close. Wow, okay. So the last leg, yeah. Oh I might watch it as it's the last leg. I might pop it on. If you have time. We were asked to do that you know me and Mark. Were you? I would love that wouldn't you? I would but I can't leave the children for that. It's quite a long time isn't it? Yeah it's one of those fingers crossed it keeps going until they're older

Starting point is 00:32:36 and then we could do it. Yeah my husband would love to do something like that. Why don't you sign up for it? Oh I don't know if I'd like it. Yeah. But again, still, you know, my son's only 12, it's like, you know, yeah a few years. It's gotta be six weeks, haven't it, that you're away for? A month, yeah, I think it's gotta be a month for six weeks. It's a long time, it's a long time. Yeah, yeah. I was in a, I was at a hotel in West London for a week, a couple of weeks ago, and I felt like I was away for a year. Yeah, I dare. I just hate it. Can't do it. Don't like it. Yeah, yeah. Too much. I'm a bit of a home bird.

Starting point is 00:33:11 Me too. Yeah. Now, what is this? I hear about your business. Tell me all about it. We all need an update. Yeah. So obviously I set the Instagram up last time I spoke to you, and I've just been putting content on and obviously, but locally everyone's kind of like, oh, I love your page, I love what you're doing. It's really great.

Starting point is 00:33:30 Cause I've been kind of doing home cooking and stuff on there, but also showing people stuff that they can buy in the supermarket that is not processed. You're giving them alternatives for bread they can buy or wraps they can buy, but then also showing them a recipe on how they can make their own and stuff. So I've been trying to do a bit of both which I think you know an easy hacks for people because people want easiness don't they? They do yeah but no one's got any time.

Starting point is 00:33:53 You know you can make these they don't take long and then you can bung them in your freezer you know oh you know I've done like fruity ice lollies and different bits and bobs I've got loads of stuff to put on there um but, so basically one of the ladies locally runs like an indoor play, but she's also got a nursery attached to it and there's a cafe. She approached me and asked me if I wanted to, you know, do some work with them.

Starting point is 00:34:17 So I'm gonna be starting by doing like toddler tasting, because what we said is sometimes parents don't wanna try recipes that then their toddler is just gonna turn around and spit out and go no I don't like that. That is such a good idea. You know they want to know that they like it before they start making it don't they. So we're gonna do a series of initially just four weeks, five different things every week and they can come along and try and then you know they can have the recipes, I can have a bit of a chat with

Starting point is 00:34:43 them, just an hour and they can obviously they've got the soft playing stuff as well so it's kind of like they're getting you know bang for their buck really do you know I mean so they're getting a play and they can have a little taste of the food you know not in a pressured situation Yes really good idea but all I can think of now is five toddlers lining up as if they're kind of miniature John Terodes. I was going to say Greg Wallace but we'll steer clear. And judging. And sort of sat judging you, swearing, spitting it out. Like I've got, you know, that sort of really grumpy toddlers in my mind. Yeah,

Starting point is 00:35:15 yeah. Well, let's hope not. I hope they enjoy it. But yeah, we've also potentially going to do some like stuff with, she's going to let me use her space, which is great, to maybe do some stuff with some older kids, you know, parent and child come and cook with me kind of thing, which is what I really wanted to get to. So maybe in the summer holidays we're going to look at doing some of that. So it's all just suddenly happened really quickly and I've gone, oh my god, I need to sort all this out. That's really good though. I'm so happy for you. Yeah, thank you. You've just got to jump in.

Starting point is 00:35:42 You've just got to go for it. You've just got whatever comes your way is meant to be there at that time. And you've just got to take it by the balls and get around with it. The support from people is just everybody that I've spoke to has all been like, oh, I've tried this recipe. That was great. You know, so there's been loads of that, which is brilliant. So good. So good. I'm going to share your little group on my Insta. I want to say people can follow it.

Starting point is 00:36:04 But it's just's just so nice to hear that it's going well. Yeah, just from a little idea and it'll just escalate. Like you say, you've just got to go with it, haven't you? Yeah and you think about us chatting and you go, I'm not sure and if I've got the time and should I do it? And it's so good. Look how far we've come in a year. I know it's mad isn't it? And when you can talk about all the things you're doing I'll be really keen to hear. Well the caret stuff obviously, it's amazing, it's brilliant and I can't go into massive detail because it'll ruin it and it's not out till next year but I'm really loving it. It's really good, I'm meeting some incredible people,

Starting point is 00:36:42 it's very humbling. I can imagine. It's very good. Well done, you. Thanks, darling. Hard work, Ro. Hard work. Before we go, because obviously we're Chatterbiscuits. Yes, we are. How excited are you to watch Jo? About Jo, I know.

Starting point is 00:36:58 It's like beyond, and I keep trying to like, I was talking to my son and I was like, do you not understand how exciting this is and how many pods we're going to get out of this? It was that I was like, they've obviously recorded loads of stuff, haven't they? That they can't cut out. Hours, hours and hours. I just can't wait to hear it all. No, I'm really, I'm so excited about it. And I know that you'll be with me.

Starting point is 00:37:21 Because he totally loves, he's loved the programme from the start as well, hasn't he? So I'm so excited for him that he totally loves, he's loved the programme from the start as well hasn't he? So I'm so excited for him that he's in it as well. Brilliant. Well I've tried to text Tamika a couple of times. Oh of course yeah, she's been all cloak and dagger. Yeah but cloak and dagger, sorry I haven't spoken to you but she knows that I'm going to grill her. But I know she can't tell me, I get it. Of course.

Starting point is 00:37:41 But I cannot wait to see. She'll be great, I bet she'll be great. Honestly, Joe and Tamika and how they're going to interact is just, I'm not going to move off the sofa. But everybody in it is brilliant. Yeah, they are. Yeah, they really are. Yeah. Yeah, I'm really excited about that. It's going to be excellent. Yeah, I meant to say to you, oh, my God, what about Joe being in the trailer?

Starting point is 00:37:59 I know. So exciting. My son's going, oh, look, so is that. And I was like, yeah, Ben Jo's in it. Yeah, I know. Never mind anyone else. It's going to be superb. Really good. Yeah, brilliant. Oh good. All right, well listen, have a lovely day. Really nice to catch up.

Starting point is 00:38:17 Thank you, and you. And you. And you. And speak soon. Speak soon. Full moon tonight, by the way. Oh, lovely. Strawberry moon. Big one. Yes. All right. All right. That should be a clear day as well. Absolutely. Enjoy it. All right. Strawberry Moon, big one. Yes, all right. Should be a clear day as well. Absolutely, enjoy it. All right, take care. See you later. Bye darling. Love you bye. I bloody love my listeners. I really do. Also, loads of you are asking where Emma has gone.

Starting point is 00:38:40 Emma is still helping me tremendously in the background, but all of you want to hear from Em. So I promise you, we'll have a catch up soon. Loads of you, like really a lot of you. So I apologize for not doing a net with Em for ages, but yeah, it's just been busy. She's very, very busy with a lot of work and I've really enjoyed doing the solo pods and sort of mine and Emma's chats were me not being brave enough to do one on my own. But I'm sure we'll get her on. Even on a solo pod, we'll have 20 minutes of him.

Starting point is 00:39:14 All right? I promise we will do that super, super soon. But she's great. I saw her the other night when I did Papi's. I explained that on Scraping the Barrel the other night with Mark. She produced that, so that was super. But she she's doing really really well and she's good. But yeah I promise you she'll be on and we'll have a little nag soon. Onto another absolute belter of a listener who sends me lots of things, lots of voice notes, gifts but we've never had a proper chat on the phone not properly. Good morning. Good morning. How are you? I'm all right I was just saying. Yeah. Have we had a

Starting point is 00:39:58 proper chat before on the phone? Well you called me once but I think my phone signal cut out and I had to call you back and I think it was solo pod number one. Yeah but it wasn't sort of very good. No it was only a couple of minutes. And when I think about what you give to the pod that we haven't had a proper chat it's really quite outrageous. I do send you some shit don't I?

Starting point is 00:40:21 No it's really good all of it. I think the Nat Lucas picture has smashed it. Lucas. Well, Nat Lucas, your face on Nat Lucas was much better looking than Matt's face on you. Because it was Nat Lucas on Matt Cassidy. And I thought, no, Nat Lucas. That was a better one. Nat Lucas was excellent.

Starting point is 00:40:40 I made me chuckle. How have you been? Yeah, I'm good. I'm really good. I'm sat in the sun. I bought new garden furniture a couple of been? Yeah, I'm good. I'm really good. I'm sat in the sun. I bought new garden furniture a couple of weeks ago, so I'm making the most of it. How nice. I'm drinking my coffee, which I now put collagen in because my knees are like Rice Krispies.

Starting point is 00:40:55 So yeah, I'm just sat having a nice chilled morning. I tell you what, I had a bit of a late night last night because my mother-in-law hosted a gorgeous Ukrainian family for the last 18 months. They're so nice, so nice. And so they've worked really hard since they've been here and a couple of months ago they managed to move into their own flat. So last night they hosted us and it was just like, you know, Ukrainian food and wine and games. I'm so proud of them. They've done such a good job. So we had a lovely evening last night. So I'm just taking a chilled one this morning.

Starting point is 00:41:28 That is such a heartwarming story. How great is that? Oh, it's beautiful. It's this mom, Julia, and then she's got a son, Jan, and a daughter, Kate, and then Kate's boyfriend, Marius. The husband and the dad is in the Ukraine. He's not allowed to leave because he's a fighting age. But they're just gorgeous people. They're absolutely gorgeous people. And they're so gorgeous people, they're absolutely gorgeous people and they're so grateful for everything and they work so hard as well. And Jan's doing his GCSEs in a language which isn't his first language. And how is that going for him? So he's literally only been here for 18 months?

Starting point is 00:41:56 18 months, well yeah it's probably coming up to two years now. But how is that? How have they done the English in that time? It blows my mind, Natalie. It blows my mind. So, I mean, I feel like he was learning English in the Ukraine before he came, like through his Ukrainian school. So he had a bit. But since they've been here and they've put themselves into the English culture and everything like that, it's just taken off. And now they all speak pretty good English.

Starting point is 00:42:20 And they've just brought over Babushka, who is the mother-in-law, the grandmother. And she has little English at the minute but she's learning like last night she was saying hello thank you you know all the we were trying to do a few and we're trying to learn our you know a few words as well so we can sort of communicate. Yeah. But yeah they've just bought her over a couple of months ago and since they've got their own flat and they're just they're just gorgeous people. It was such a heartwarming night

Starting point is 00:42:45 and they're such good cooks as well. Ukrainian, well that whole part of the world are all just feeders aren't they? Yeah, I'm not very au fait with kind of the Eastern European food. What were you eating? It was like a lot of really fresh stuff, like vegetables and salads and they just flavour stuff. We had a chicken Kiev, because obviously Ukrainian Kiev. So we had one of them, but not like the one you buy in Marks and Spencers in a packet, like a homemade that Babushka had made and rolled the chicken and put the garlic in and stuff like that. It was like on another level, honestly. And then they have this like honey cake thing, which is like a layered cake dessert. And it had, I'll send you a picture after it had like 20 layers

Starting point is 00:43:26 of like cake and like cream. It's like really thin layers and it's just, I can't even describe. That sounds delicious. It's not like anything we've got. Not like a millefeuille. Yeah, kind of. Kind of. I don't even know how to describe it. It's not like something we've had and I'm not a big dessert person. I'm more savoury like you, like getting me like crisps any day. But like this honey cake, honestly, and it's all got fresh fruit on the top and it was wonderful. It was really good. And then we played UNO because obviously like no language. You know, like you don't want to play a word game with people. I mean their English is brilliant, but don't want to put

Starting point is 00:43:59 them at an automatic disadvantage. No, start whacking out articulate. I mean it's better. UNO is better, isn't it? UNO is better. Yeah, it was for that kind of thing. Well that sounds like you've had a really wholesome evening. Yeah, so I'm just sitting on my new furniture with my coffee and just sort of having a chilled morning now. Also, how satisfying is it to buy new garden furniture? Are we really boring or is it the best thing ever? No, it was the best thing ever but I tell you what, so we ordered it and then we got it for delivery. We got a text that said you'll get a text the day before for the delivery time slot. So the text came and I was like, yeah, happy days. And the text came and it

Starting point is 00:44:38 said your furniture will be delivered between 5.50 and 9.50am. 5.50am. Right, okay. delivered between 5.50 and 9.50 a.m. 5.50 a.m. Okay. So then you've got to get up at 5.50. Of course it came at 9.45. But who has a delivery time slot that starts at 5.50 in the morning? Possibly Kirsty I just spoke to who gets up at four o'clock every day and goes running. Oh god. I know. No, not for me. Well, not for Kirsty. 5.50 is early. She can run to mine and wait for me garden furniture any day.

Starting point is 00:45:08 Yeah. But it was worth it when it came. Oh, lovely. What colour is it? It's like grey. It's a dark grey metal base. It's called Weatherking, I think, because it's like anti-rust and then it's got like a really light grey sort of cushion things and it's one of those, you can move things

Starting point is 00:45:24 around and... Yes, I know.'s one of those, you can move things around. And yes, I know different formations, you know, really nice. Yeah. So lovely. How are you doing anyway? How's your is it solo pod number three now? So low pod number three is going very well. I've had a good chat with people. I'm really enjoying them. There's a lot. Lots of people want to hear from M. And I keep saying to them, Emma's absolutely fine.

Starting point is 00:45:44 It's just that M was my blanket where I love doing these and talking to everybody because otherwise I never get a chance to talk to all the listeners but I promise that I'm gonna on solo pod number four I'm gonna call Emma for 20 minutes so we'll have a catch up. Yeah. What do you think? Good, good yeah perfect I'm glad she's doing well. She's really good, really busy and really good yeah she's good. I can't believe she cheats on glad she's doing well. She's really good, really busy and really good. Yeah, she's good. I can't believe she cheats on you with other pods though. She does. I mean, a lot of pods. I mean, I am kind of late in the day. She has had some for a long time. So we can't have a go at her for that. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:46:16 You know, but she squeezes me in. No good as long as she's doing well. She is doing well. How are you? Because obviously you're kind of my pro, if you like, on the pod. You're my sounding board. Are you happy with everything? Yes, very happy. Thank you. I could text you twice a week and say loving the pod blah blah blah, but you know I love the pod. So yeah, you haven't got to do that. So I just, I just send you little funny things, but I'm not a smoke blower. So if'm ever unhappy I'll tell you. Good, all right good because I do worry you know I do wonder if I don't hear from you or Bex or

Starting point is 00:46:49 certain people I think oh my god they've stopped listening I have a little panic but it's good just check in with the odd photo and then I know that you're there. Oh I'm don't worry I'm always here don't worry about it. Not that I'm needy Naomi, do you know what I mean? Very very needy. I am needy. Well look enjoy your coffee I'm pleased you had a lovely evening and I'll talk to you really soon. Yeah lovely to hear from you. Alright darling take care. Bye. She really is, she's come up with some absolutely cracking ideas. She sent me a little quote which was lovely last night which was, your purpose is not the thing you do, it's the thing that happens in others when you do what you do. Which I think is such a joyous quote, I'll chuck that on Insta as well, but she's a very special

Starting point is 00:47:43 lady. Yeah you make a lot of friends through this sort of thing. And it's lovely, you know. And social media can be really good. I know we talk about it often. Social media, having the listeners, having a community, people chat on Facebook now, you know, like-minded people if you like, because if they like the pod, they kind of like the same sort of things. Not that I'm stealing Tom Allen and Susie Ruffles' title of their pod, which is like-minded friends by the way, which is superb. But yeah, it's just lovely to hear from her and I'm forever grateful for all of you. You know that anyway. I was in bed last night and as I said to you, I was reading all of my supplements from the papers. I bought

Starting point is 00:48:25 a Times and I bought an Observer. All of their magazines are so good. And I came across this Cezanne exhibition. Now Cezanne was from Provence and he had a house there. And do you know what? That might even be wrong. Fuck's sake me google it hang on me making things up again but i really like zezanne right i love his paintings i've got a dvd downstairs when i started an ou course years ago and sort of looked into zezanne he was thank you i am, I am right for a change. Don't second guess yourself Nat. Cezanne was born in Aire-en-Provence, can't do it, France. And he did a lot of art out there obviously and he was considered a bridge really between

Starting point is 00:49:20 Impressionism and Cubism. and he influenced Picasso and people like that. I am getting this from Wikipedia by the way. I'm not an art expert. No Fiona Bruce here. However, I do really love him and I really like his paintings and I love all the stories of artists. That's what I love. They're all very bohemian. They hang out together in little French cafes. Anyway, back to the part of the story I was going to say, which was they're doing this big thing in Provence, which is sort of Cezanne 2025. There's a massive exhibition over there where they've loaned lots of his paintings from all around the world. You can go and see the house. You can sit at the coffee shops he sat at. I need to go. I have to go.

Starting point is 00:50:06 So I said to Mark in bed last night, babe, I've got to do this. We need to go. Will you come with me? So he said, yeah, of course I will. So I need to plan this trip. And I'm looking at the diary again, busy brain, busy brain. And I'm thinking, can't do any of August because we go on holiday and then I'm busy with work because we're away. Mark's not overly busy, but he's got stuff to do. Then I thought, well, September, beginning of September, everyone's back to school. Can't go away for four days when they go back to school. Absolute chaos. Got to get them back into a routine, make sure all the uniforms are ready. You know, it's a fresh start, isn't it? They need us around. Can't do that. It's a fresh start, isn't it? They need us around.

Starting point is 00:50:42 Can't do that. Then I thought, oh, well, maybe sort of mid, mid September. So I am going to look and I want to book it in. Sometimes you've just got to do these things and book it. I was looking at some Airbnbs. There's some lovely hotels. You only need two days. I reckon two nights, three days.

Starting point is 00:51:00 And I just want to soak it all up because I love my art. I really do. I mean, I can't even get down to the fucking tape written, let alone of Provence, but I am going to try. I am going to try. What do you mean by almost? You can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get chicken parmesan delivered. Sunshine? No. Some wine? Yes.

Starting point is 00:51:28 Get almost almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. See app for details. Mom, mom, did you see my race? Of course I did, darling. Look, you did your best. You tried.

Starting point is 00:51:40 The thing is, it's not about winning. It's about taking part. Next year you might do better. But I did win, Mom! You did? When it's sunny, make sure you can still see. At Specsavers, get two pairs of glasses from $149, and one can be prescription sunglasses. Hey, the sun won't wait.

Starting point is 00:51:59 Visit Specsavers.ca for details. Conditions apply. Get unlimited grocery delivery with PC Express Pass. Meal prep, delivered. Snacks, delivered. Fresh fruit, delivered. Grocery delivery on repeat for just $2.50 a month. Learn more at pcexpress.ca. I had a lovely message from Tara who said,

Starting point is 00:52:22 has life after EastEnders been as you expected? Any surprises, good and bad? And also how's it going with managing Eliza's mobile phone use? Feels like we are failing. Well, I'm going to ring Tara in a minute, but I suppose we can do a little bit of EastEnders. Why not? Let's do it. I think life after EastEnders, it hasn't been as I expected. I knew I'd be busy but I didn't know how busy, which is really lovely. I know that I bang on about being really busy, but it is all in all a positive thing and I'm very, very lucky. I miss people. I don't miss driving to work and back again. Don't miss the journey at all. M25 traffic and all that.

Starting point is 00:53:13 Who can be bothered? I don't miss learning lines of an evening because I feel like I get an evening. Once I do the dinner, I'm then with Joni. I haven't got it on my mind. I've got to learn those scenes for tomorrow. I miss acting. I haven't acted for a while, but I'm really enjoying being me and just doing all the things that I am doing really. I'd love to do something though. I'd like to do a little play, I think. I'd really like to do a little play, you know, above a pub or just something really kind

Starting point is 00:53:50 of gritty, like a little one-woman play. God, that'd be good, wouldn't it? But nowhere, not touring really. I know I'm being fussy, but I don't really like being away from home and if I can help it I won't be. But yeah, it would be lovely to do a bit of acting but I don't miss the line learning at the moment I'm really missing Lacey and Zara and everyone really Steve you know amazing by the way the soap awards can I just say swept up with I think it was eight

Starting point is 00:54:21 sure it was eight because I was following it was eight, because I was following it all. In fact, this is good, let me see if he's around. Oh, this is really good. So I have a lovely boy called Elliot, man, sorry. Hang on, let me see if I can find it. I've had loads and loads of messages by the way of people's plants and flowers. Thank you so much. Mine are all planted out doing well. I've got a few buds but I've got no flowers yet. So I'm hoping, fingers crossed here.

Starting point is 00:54:56 Otherwise, what a load of rubbish. No, come on, I'm not being rude but what a waste of time it would be if I don't get a flower. But I'm sure they're coming. There's a bit of sun now coming out this weekend, nice and warm. Hopefully I'll have some flowers soon. My cucumbers, my cucumbers, some of them have got silver leaves. Mark assures me that the new leaves are fine, which they do look fine, but when I looked up silver leaves on cucumbers it meant some sort of disease. So I'm really worried about

Starting point is 00:55:29 them. My courgettes are good. They're getting big. There's quite a lot of flowers, not a lot of courgettes. So I'm not sure about that. I've got some strawberries in hanging baskets. They're doing well. Flowers are coming, growing nicely. So we'll see how it all goes, but thank you for all of your lovely pictures. And people just saying, they've loved it. They've loved starting to grow. It's meditative.

Starting point is 00:55:57 It's giving them a little bit of their time, me time, which is also a lovely thing to do, by the way. You know, when you were talking about what do you do for you, that's what I like doing. I like getting in the garden, having a little look around, and then the hay fever starts. Vicious circle.

Starting point is 00:56:16 I was finding a message. And I really need to find this message, seriously. Here we are. So Matty, I met Matty at the hotel when we were doing the EastEnders live episode and Matty and Anita met them, big fans. He sent me a couple of messages on Life with Nat, not me crying at you leaving EastEnders low. And then he sent me a lovely, lovely picture of him and Anita, I believe.

Starting point is 00:56:53 I'm sure that's Anita, asking me, am I going to the soap awards? Now I didn't go to the soap awards. I was exhausted. I'm really, really busy. I just needed Saturday at home with the kids. So I didn't go. He sent me a sad face of himself. And then he sent me all of the results.

Starting point is 00:57:13 And I kept saying, oh my God, I'm so happy. Who else, who else, who else? So let me just, I'm sure his name's Elliot. Am I wrong? Yeah, it's Matty for fuck's sake Natalie. So let's phone Matty for fuck's sake Natalie. So let's phone Matty. He might not answer, but he would love it.

Starting point is 00:57:28 I'm sure he'd love it. Hang on. He might be at work. Hello. There he is. Oh God. Hi, Matt. I was just chatting on the pod. I'm on the solo pod, you're on the pod, and I was chatting

Starting point is 00:57:48 away and I said, oh hang on a minute, I've for some reason called you Elliot, which I'm so sorry, I was like, I've got to find Elliot's number, I don't know who the fuck Elliot is. Completely different name. Completely different. It is Matty. But I found the messages and I was just explaining to everyone that on the day of the soapboards we were messaging and I was like, who's one? Who else? Who else? We were, and we were sending sad photos to each other weren't we, that you weren't there. I was like, oh no, you should be here.

Starting point is 00:58:12 I know and I am sorry. And I did, listen, it was so, I did get invited and it's just one of those things where you're absolutely flat out all week and the next week you're flat out and you think, I'm not going to have a day at home. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I know. I get it. I get it gonna have a day at home. Yeah I get it. You had a lovely time. I mean it was long. I mean on a fan perspective. Yeah go on. I got there about 11 in the morning and no one really arrived. I mean you know till about 5 or 6. It was hot so we couldn't move, didn't eat or drink all day. But it was worth it. I don't watch the others, so I don't really know the others. But it was nice to see the

Starting point is 00:58:49 old EastEnders and then obviously go into the show again and seeing them win. And you're included in that, whether you were there or not. You know, you're a massive part of the show and all the wins, regardless if you were there or not, you're still a part of that win. part of the show and all the wins, regardless you were there or not, you're still a part of that. No, I felt really, really proud. I was so proud. I actually text Chris afterwards and said, amazing. You've had such an amazing time on that show, Chris Henshaw. It's been insane. I've watched these senders for donkeys. I think I first met you a few years after you joined. I'll have to dig out the photo somewhere and send it to you. But

Starting point is 00:59:28 I've been a fan of it for years and years and from what he's done as a viewer, it's just been the storylines, bringing people, just everything. I just think you can't touch it. And if the senders didn't have win, I thought they would have been robbed. Yeah I agree. I mean that a neat a Dobson moment coming. Oh God I mean no one saw that coming. No. You know I mean who would even think of that idea. I know. It's insane but it's just brilliant it's just a shame you weren't there. Oh I know stop making me feel bad for God's sake. I know. You'll have your own show soon. But listen, I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for being such a fan of the show for all the years you have.

Starting point is 01:00:13 And thank you for listening to this pod and just keep listening and keep in touch. I will. Now, I just want to say I don't listen to many pods. And you're one I sort of feel like I'm part of your family. I'm a carer, I know you speak about that a lot as well and I think you've got a pod coming up on it. I'm a carer for my mum so when I go out it's sort of my fruit release and it just helps me a lot more than you probably realise so I just want to say thank you to you and your family. Oh Matt that's so kind, thank you so so much honestly And we'll catch up soon. We will, we will. Well, come on, I'll have you on when I do the caring episode, if you're up for it. Please do. I would love to give you a ring about it,

Starting point is 01:00:52 if that's alright. Yeah, because I'm a care for my mum, I'm an only child and yeah, she was in hospital all last week, so yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. I know what it's like, honestly. Yes, not easy. It isn't. But yeah, thank you for brightening up everything. That's alright. Real issues. That's alright my darling. Well listen, you keep going but look after yourself and take some time for you as well, okay?

Starting point is 01:01:12 I will. I will. Thanks, that'll speak to you soon. Alright babe, see you soon. Bye. Take care, bye. Bye. Lovely's.

Starting point is 01:01:20 True true fan of EastEnders and just a lovely lovely man. So so lovely. Right, I was going to phone. It's been a busy one, hasn't it? Love it when it's busy. I was going to phone Tara because she asked me about the phone, managing Eliza's phone. And I've got a couple of things I want to say to her. I'm going to get my bit of paper, I've made notes, can you believe this? Hang on. Not many, so don't panic. Right, give Tara a ring. Here we go. Lovely looking she is Tara, very smart lady. Lovely looking she is Tara, very smart lady.

Starting point is 01:02:09 On the WhatsApp photo I mean, I don't know her. She was actually on a meeting, a phone call with her boss until 11. So that could have run over. I'll give her a ring back, I don't want her to panic. Imagine me running her boss's call, hang on. We'll phone her a ring back. I don't want her to panic. Imagine me running her boss's call. Hang on. We'll phone her in a minute. I don't want to say all the things I'm going to say because I want to talk to Tara about it. Let's just hang on a moment and I'm going to try and think of a joke for you, but I can't think of one. I've gone back to, as I said earlier, gone back to having my keto coffee. I've got my creamer, bit of collagen in there, got my protein

Starting point is 01:02:55 shakes. I'm enjoying it. Just trying to do that little bit of fasting again, you know. It's hard when you're away and you're busy and you're eating location food and you get to the bar at night and you want to unwind so you have a couple of drinks. You're having a lot of chicken wings, stuff like that. Chicken wings are not that bad, I suppose. That's the only thing I liked in this hotel I was staying at, chicken wings. Every night I had hot chicken wings. Delicious to be fair. Should probably find me back in a minute. Imagine me having to fill, you know, like Kate said, Kate Thornton, where all the auto queue goes off and you've got to stand and fill up, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, I wouldn't be able to do it. I'd just go into Morgana territory.

Starting point is 01:03:49 Hello, I'm Natalie Castey. Just doing this now. Sorry for the break. I've got nothing else to say. Apart from, well, just having a nice time, haven't we? I'd be absolutely appalling. Appalling. Beep, beep. Beep, beep. Now stalking the poor woman.

Starting point is 01:04:17 Beep, beep. Beep, beep. Ah. Beep, beep. What if she's had a meeting with her boss and he's sacked her or something? No, that wouldn't have happened. It's just run over. It's just run over.

Starting point is 01:04:34 See where the brain goes. Still haven't got round to watching Virgin Island by the way. Think I'm going to make a point of popping it on tonight. We'll see. See how the mood takes us. Just be nice to actually sit with Mark and not watch television actually. So that's what I'm hoping for this evening. I really want to talk to Tara about the phone thing, you know. It's really odd. We're all the same.

Starting point is 01:05:09 We're all addicted. I am weaning myself off in the evenings, as I've said. Mark's terrible on his phone all the time. He'll say he is and he is. Eliza on her phone. Then she's got the iPad in her room, which she does listen to music on and she also FaceTimes people. Now I've always said this, like it or lump it. When I was little, I'm just going to repeat myself if Tara rings, but if I was little, I'd be on the phone, when I say

Starting point is 01:05:40 little at 12, 13, I'd be on my mum's phone in her bedroom on the home phone all night long. From seven o'clock, do all my homework, have my dinner, seven o'clock at night till half past ten. Putting the phone down after 58 minutes so we didn't get charged. Three hours on the phone upstairs. Fuck knows what we were talking about, but that's what you did. So when Eliza is on a FaceTime to her friends, I don't mind it because I did the same. You've got to remember what we did and don't be the fun police.

Starting point is 01:06:15 So that's fair enough. She doesn't sit and generally scroll for ages. What I would say doom scrolling, what I do more of I would say. Oh hang on a minute, oh here she is. We'll carry on. Hello love. Hello, sorry my meeting ran over. That doesn't matter. Always away. It is always away and I'm so sorry I was I phoned you about three times and I thought oh gosh she's gonna think I'm, I knew your meeting had run over but I had a thought in my head and I thought, oh what if you had a terrible meeting and you've been sacked

Starting point is 01:06:52 and I'm leaving you? No, no, it's actually my new boss so I was trying to be very engaged with what he was saying. Excellent. And was it good? Did it go well? Was he nice? Yes, it's fine. It was fine. Very good. Very good. Now, Tara, I've sort of half started, but I didn't want to start without you.

Starting point is 01:07:10 And again, we could have a podcast and we could have a conversation about mobile phone usage every day. But I haven't checked in with it for a while and I want to talk to you about it. How are you feeling? Tell me about it. Tell me what you've got to say. I think where we're at at the moment is

Starting point is 01:07:26 we're kind of in that parental guilt of we should have paid closer attention to this. Right, okay. And we've dropped the ball and now we're trying to claw it back and it's impossible. So what are we talking about? I'll tell you my story so you don't feel like a failure because you're not one because we're all going through the same thing. So it's really stupid actually but Eliza has her phone, no problem. She has a phone and she's quite good at not scrolling too much but she's obviously continuously doing her streaks on Snapchat and all of that kind of obsessive stuff. Fine, I let that go. If she's in her bedroom of an evening, between the hours of sort of after dinner until nine o'clock, I

Starting point is 01:08:11 come upstairs and I often spy on her, you know, as you do, because I'm worried. So I'll pop up and I can hear her, her iPads on the side and she's videoing a friend. Now in my mind, I used to spend three and a half hours on my mum's home phone in her bedroom. Oh yeah, absolutely. So, right, we did that. So I'm not going to be the fun police because for me, if she's interacting with a friend in her room, that's okay. Last night, I felt very overwhelmed because Joni comes in from school, she's on the Nintendo Switch

Starting point is 01:08:45 for a bit, then she'll move to the iPad to play a game and then she'll put the telly on. Then Eliza comes home and I just went, I don't know what, I said, I'm so sick of these screens. I'm sick of it. Absolutely up to my head. Even Mark's on the phone, I'm on the phone. All of us are just, our whole lives are taken up by these things. So last night, I said to Eliza, phone downstairs at nine, which I did. And then I went back into her room and I

Starting point is 01:09:12 said, and I'll have the iPad, please. And she sort of got really grumpy about it. And I said, no, I know you have it for an alarm, but I will wake you up in the morning. That has everything on it, same as the phone. It's got the Snapchat on it. You know, it's got every, it's just a large phone for Eliza. So I feel really stupid that I've been allowing that to stay in the room. Not all the time, but she's been saying, oh, I'm gonna put my alarm on, which I have to say in fairness, when I put her to bed,

Starting point is 01:09:40 she's so tired, the iPad is on the side away from her bed and she puts the telly on to fall asleep. None of this is healthy, but I'm being honest. It's which battle you fight first. You can't do it all. It's a battle. It's a really big battle. So tell me about why you feel like you've dropped the ball.

Starting point is 01:10:00 I think because he's at the, he's 12, so he's just gone to secondary school. And that's when we said he could have his own smartphone, as a lot of people do. But I don't think what we appreciated, and it's kind of what you were saying about, it doesn't matter about the device, it's the content. Because they can access this content on a smart TV. They can access it on an iPad. They can access it on your phone. And I don't think we'd quite appreciated that because we had been letting him say watch something on our phone or watch YouTube on the TV, that it's the accumulation of that constantly watching short form content on different types of

Starting point is 01:10:42 devices that when you then give them their own device, it's just this kind of, you've just opened up this stable door and you didn't realize the horse had already bolted two years ago. It's just you've just now made it easy for them. Yeah, I think there's a big thing to say about, I never let Joni and Eliza watch YouTube. Yeah, unfortunately we did. I had an awful experience of Eliza when she was about five, which I've spoken about on the pod, where she was obsessed with watching Japanese sweet making on YouTube. And she got really obsessed with it and it really freaked me out and I stopped it.

Starting point is 01:11:20 And I never let Joni do that. But like you say, Joni's obsessed with the Switch for a bit, but then I think it's again I'm a bit selfish because I think I loved a computer game. Yeah, I don't mind the console because at least it's a game and they're thinking and there's some kind of interaction. At the point I don't even mind TV watching. I feel like that's more of a social family activity. And it's kind of passive. It's the constant touching the phone

Starting point is 01:11:51 to move onto the next bit of content, touching the phone. It's like we're training puppies. You train a puppy by giving them a treat to get the reaction you want. That's how these phones are built with the algorithms. You give them a bit of juicy content, it makes them tap onto the next thing. And they're like trained puppies now. So I don't know how we claw it back either because I think we can't really take it away now.

Starting point is 01:12:22 And Eliza was obviously older because she'll be 15 in September. But this year, she has got her social media, she has got her Instagram account, et cetera. I think because I've left it a bit later, I don't feel that she can kind of give or take it. So is there any way with you that you could, is there any way of sort of taking it away without arguments? Is there any way you could sort of wean him off it? Because it is an addiction, we're all addicted to them. Yeah, the only way we manage to get him off it is if we're literally entertaining him ourselves. He won't independently go into the garden and do something else or go and

Starting point is 01:13:02 watch some TV. We have to physically kind of do the activity with him as a way to get him away from the phone. But that I suppose is what we should be doing. And we haven't got any time to do that anymore. Yeah, I think I managed to do that for about 30, 45 minutes a day and then I have to move on and do stuff now. I can't spend any more time with you doing what we're doing. So then you think, well, I've tried. And as soon as you then leave them, they're like, you drift off to the phone again.

Starting point is 01:13:32 So yeah, I don't know what we do. And this is almost a tale to anyone else that's got younger kids who are on that bridge of don't do what I did. I agree with you, yeah. Put the guardrails in place at the start because you can't put them in later. It's too late.

Starting point is 01:13:51 All I would say to you, Tara, the only thing I would say to you is, so I didn't give Eliza a phone in year seven. So she didn't have a phone at all. And by year eight, she really was an outcast at school. And that was so hard and upsetting. I don't know what is the answer. I don't know what the answer is, because it's all very well. The smartphone free childhood lady that I had on the pod and this amazing movement that they're doing, which is amazing. But I don't know how, again, I'm being naive,

Starting point is 01:14:25 but with Joni, for instance, Joni's eight, she'll be nine in August. How do I get, do I then have to start a group then with the people that she's going to go into year seven with, with all the parents, to say why don't we follow this together? I suppose that's what you've got to do. I think it has to be led by the school and I think any kids that are kind of coming up now, they're going to have a better future with this I hope because there's so much research now and schools are starting to switch on a bit. We've got these organizations that are saying the right thing and lobbying government. I think the next batch of teenagers, I think they're going to have a better experience because everyone's so much more educated and all the people that are in the right positions

Starting point is 01:15:15 of leadership and authority are more switched on. Have you read Jonathan Haight's book, The Anxious Generation? I haven't but I've heard about it. I know all this. Yes I know. You know I've seen it happen on a day to day basis. I'm experiencing it right now. Yes. Yeah my general point is we've left it too late, we've missed it. Any younger kids coming through now, don't do it. My advice is all the research is there, there is support there now, listen to it and really stick to your guns and get the discipline and the guardrails in place now. I said to Eliza last night, and it was the wrong time to do it, I was het up and angry and guilty

Starting point is 01:16:03 and I just went, it was before bedtime and I said, listen, in the six week holiday, like why am I talking about the six weeks holidays at nine o'clock at night on a weekday? Yeah, it's really stupid thing to do. But I went, I'll tell you something now, in the six week holidays, that's going away and you need to find some things you want to do. Yeah. You need to find things. What do you mean? I don't know what you mean by things. I said things, hobbies, passions.

Starting point is 01:16:29 They don't know what to do. No, and the reason I mentioned Jonathan Haight book, I haven't read the book yet, but I read an article about him at the weekend. He calls the phones, which I just love, experience blockers. Yeah, yeah. Which I think really sums it up perfectly.

Starting point is 01:16:48 Yeah, yeah. And the irony of it is, sometimes, my child's pretty bright and switched on with things. He actually says to me, I know I need to engage more with things. I'm going to put my phone away. I'm going to really engage with this now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's telling himself what he knows he has to do. But the phone is stronger. Yeah, well, it's a huge addiction. Yeah, but it is really.

Starting point is 01:17:12 It's not his fault and it's not your fault either. So you can't feel. I know I feel guilty as well, but it's really hard. I think it's been hard in the last few years to not do what you and I have done. So I don't think we should beat ourselves up. Unfortunately, it's a period of time that we've been unlucky in and I don't think we should beat ourselves up about it. It's almost like, I know this is an extreme analogy, but they often say if nicotine had been discovered now, it would be a class A drug because everyone knows,

Starting point is 01:17:47 the medical profession knows of its addictive capabilities and the repercussions of tobacco. Whereas they didn't know that back in whenever it was cigarettes were invented. Oh, of course not adverts and 50s and it was cool in the films. Absolutely. But it's too late and it's taken us like decades to claw it back to the point we are. So to use that analogy, it's almost like if phones were invented today, if we understood the impact of the dopamine hit that the content gives, then if we understood that first, I think it would be very, very different.

Starting point is 01:18:25 But we're just finding out, we're finding out too late. It's like trying to get a heroin addict off heroin once they've already started. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. It is impossible. But to everyone out there, because obviously my listeners are listening to our conversation, if you are worried, we're all worried about this situation, but if you do have younger children, I do recommend, I'm going to read it, Jonathan Haight's book, The Anxious Generation. There's lots of podcasts as well that he's been on that might be easier for you. I saw Dr. Chatterjee's podcast, Feel Better, Live More. He's done a little great bite-size episode of 25

Starting point is 01:19:00 Minutes where he speaks about it. And you know, there is a big debate also saying that this guy's a technophobe and he's not aware of the good that phones can do. But I don't think it's about that. We know it's amazing. AI is amazing in certain ways. Social media can be amazing, but not for five or seven year olds or eight or nine year olds.

Starting point is 01:19:22 It's the addictive nature of short form content, I think, is at the heart of it. Not necessarily the device that it's sat on. It's the short form content that young people are used to consuming now. Yeah, I completely agree. I completely agree. Tara, thank you so much for talking to me. And I know you were working, so I really appreciate it. No problem. Nice to meet you. Lovely to talk to you. And thanks for listening to the pod.

Starting point is 01:19:44 You're welcome. All right. to you. Lovely to talk to you and thanks for listening to the pod. You're welcome. Bye. It is so hard. She sounds really, really strong and upset and annoyed that she can't go back. And it is true, you can never go back. And I would honestly say, with Joni now, Joni's gonna be nine in August, I don't care I'm gonna have to go through that sort of pain of her being an outcast which I did, I failed miserably with Eliza in year eight, I'm gonna go through that pain I do not want her to

Starting point is 01:20:20 have a phone until she's at least 14. At least it's going to be very hard and I'll keep you posted. Cut to her in two years time at 11. I didn't know what to get her for Christmas so she's got an iPhone. No, I won't do that. Right, that's that. That's the end of today's solo pod. I've absolutely loved it. It's really perked me up. Thank you for all the calls, all the messages. I really hope you've enjoyed the chat and I'll speak to you on Monday. I hope you have a fantastic weekend as always.

Starting point is 01:20:52 What am I doing this weekend? Father's Day, guys. I hope you have a lovely one. We've booked a really nice meal somewhere so we can have a nice time. Got a few gifts for the old fella. He'll kill me for saying that. Young fella, you know he's younger than me.

Starting point is 01:21:06 He's only 32. Or is it 36? Anyway, love you. Bye!

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Life with Nat - EP124: Nat's Chats #3

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Life with Nat - EP124: Nat's Chats #3

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