Life with Nat - EP140: Nat's Nieces #26 - Kids, Freedom & Screens

Episode Date: August 6, 2025

A round table about how Nat and her Nieces are setting the boundaries for their kids, particularly based on the fears of what they got up to when they were young. All the best!!!!!! Enjoy!! xx Please subscribe, follow, and leave a review. xxx You can find us in all places here; ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podfollow.com/lifewithnat/view⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ INSTA: @natcass1 A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ SHOW INFO: Life with Nat - it’s me! Natalie Cassidy and I’ll be chatting away to family, friends and most importantly YOU. I want to pick people's brains on the subjects that I care about- whether that’s where all the odd socks go, weight and food or kids on phones. Each week I will be letting you into my life as i chat about my week, share my thoughts on the mundane happenings as well as the serious. I have grown up in the public eye and have never changed because of it. Life with Nat is the podcast for proper people. Come join the community. ♥️ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello everybody. Welcome to Life with Nat, little Nat's niece is spesh because I'm going on holiday. So whilst I'm away, we're doing a few little random ones because I never want you to be without a pod on a Monday and Thursday and I know you'll appreciate it. Hello, girls. Hello. We all good? Yeah, all good. Thank you. Excellent.

Excellent. So there's a little thread that I've been chatting to a few people about, which is freedom, children, screen times. Was it better in the 80s and 90s when everyone was playing out? They weren't on games. It's just such a broad subject, but I've not spoken to you both about it. So I thought, let's just kick off and see what you think about it all. I was actually listening to a poll.

the other night it was a bit deeper it was about women's rights and freedom just on the point of freedom and saying obviously is there a thing as too much freedom

or too much choice which is interesting isn't it? Because it's like that if you go in a shop right and there's four brands of cheddar versus 16

some people find if there's too many choices or too much freedom it's too overwhelming and then people don't know how to actually make a decision Whereas if you're a bit more targeted Yeah, interesting

It is interesting I also feel like it's the person you are Because you're a nightmare in the shop Indecisive Yeah, like you say that It can be overwhelming for some people Some people wouldn't have an issue with that I was thinking like in a restaurant

You know when you go to a restaurant And the menus In the menus huge I can't bear that That is true Because you just have so much choice Always going back to food But it is true

You know what It's interesting because I worked with children so I worked in a nursery and then I remember coming to look at nurseries with you for Alfie and it's all just what the children led by them. So when I went we used to have specific times you'd have messy playing then you'd have story time then you'd have singing but I remember Alfie's being very much like you can just go off and do you know they can play with whatever they want and I remember thinking I understand that and I like that to a certain element but then also I think a bit of structure and actually teaching them you have to you know

for going to work for example you can't just do what you want to do sometimes you do have to have a bit of a plan of your day you have to have structure you've got meetings you have to know I know they're little so you say know what time you've got to be somewhere whereas if you're sort of teaching them the whole day they can just go off and do what they want it's funny you say that it's the same as at home Ruby will get out all her pepper pig stuff and then she'd spot like the Barbies and she's like maybe I should be playing with that

and then before you know it everything's out I was going to say Joni's no different she'll be doing the Lego then she'll get her knitting out because there's so much of it she had four toys

she'd probably structure her day and they'd be really special to her whereas I do think the more you have things become less significant of course yeah clothes

everything isn't it yeah everything I mean I've bought her two jumpsuits she had an assembly and she needed to wear something bright And it was just one of those things And I thought, oh, I just want something really nice But they were off of next

But they were quite expensive, you know, they weren't cheap And I'm going through our wardrobe out And I am going to do a wardrobe out today Oh, you didn't do it then I didn't do it yesterday, I had to have sleep Talk about that later But yeah, I was going to do the wardrobe And she went, oh, I don't want those things

I said, we've just bought them No, darling Oh no, but I don't want to wear them I said, you are going to wear them again They're expensive you need to get some more wear out of them. However, I get what you're saying, but she doesn't know they're expensive

and why should that matter? I get it, but I'm thinking of other things. It's like you're putting that on her. If you'd say it at a car boot sale and it was a pound, would you still be saying that? No. And I understand. But then I'm trying to teach her the value of money, aren't I?

Of course. But they don't understand that value. Like, they won't understand that value with clothes today. But I'm going through dress phase with Ruby. So all she went so wears a dress and I don't have any dresses. So she comes up, she's looking in a wardrobe, having a proper meltdown,

because she just wants to wear a dress. She's rummaging through. And do you remember, you gave me a dress, a rainbow dress of Jonies? I do. Can't find it and I'm gutted because that would have been perfect. I did find a Christmas one, however. Yes.

Anyway, she's having one. She wants to wear a princess dress. I haven't got a dress. She found like some skirt, What about the girl one? No, I know, but she found some chool skirt things. She wants an actual dress. Which she ended up wearing instead.

But now, so that's the new thing I've got now with her. I might find a couple of them in there. Now, I've ordered some. But even like, everything's like, but I want a pink one. That one's black. I don't want to wear black. It's mad. Yeah.

Because with boys, you just don't have that. No. But also, it's like when, when does it get to a point where they're telling you what they want to wear? Because never. But she is. Yeah. And, well, to an extent. I don't know

I've always bought like little short I've got loads of little lovely summer shorts and tops and now I feel like she's going to freak out or it's like Have they got pockets You're already going through that Because I remember Nat with Eliza Yeah

She would not wear anything Do you remember we had a few instances When we came into the house Yeah yeah yeah She was like three and you were Oh I was living having one She went and wear socks It was all the seamless stuff

But MNS does arrange now I've seen this stuff So it is a thing And I still have And Joni has never been that way Up until I'd say a couple of weeks ago And she puts things on And she's like, this is itching

I do get it though It's uncomfortable And some of the labels I mean Zara labels Zara labels You can make a fucking t-shirt out of those Alone No, there's 150 labels

You have to cut them out Even for me Yeah I've been bitten alive by the way In the night Just so you know Legs, shoulders Yeah I have to

And toes. Absolutely. Hi, Nat. I just heard you asked about children giving them freedom now. I have two older teens and have always struggled with how much freedom is safe. I am a natural worryer and see the danger everywhere, so find it hard to throw caution to the wind. We live on the outskirts of London in a relatively safe, although busy area. I lost my mum a long time ago before I had my kids. And one of the things I really wish I could have asked her is, did she worry it all when we went off for the day and she didn't really know where? We'd get the bus an hour away into it. Exeter go shopping all day. She'd have no idea if we'd got the bus. We were there, what we were doing. And then we rocked back up at 7pm. Now we've got Life 360. We track them all day. We know where everyone is. So just, yeah, it's that. It's so much to unpick. I've just had an email from the school about smartphone free childhood. I saw it on Facebook last night. I can't wait to read that. A thing saying we're all in. Not to give your child a phone until they're 14. Fantastic. The subject is wild. I mean, the phone thing does come in with what we're talking about. Of course it does. Yeah, absolutely because I'm thinking, right, back in the day, the streets were safer?

Were they? Were they? That's what I'm saying. Were they? So we were saying. And we were going out. Yeah. We've no, you couldn't contact anyone.

No. So if you hadn't, yeah, because now it's like, oh, well, they need a phone because, you know, they're walking to school. You go to the pay phone? We didn't have that. We had a pay phone. And we used to ring scoop. Who scoop? that you know maybe that sort of like a directory thing

we used to sing to them and say you got your hand stuck in the jar I don't remember that we used to ring up Tesco's and I used to say hi have you got any fish you did used to do it what scoot yeah I don't remember that what about when used to ring one two three for the time the time oh yeah that's a lot of money

yeah used to do that talking clock yeah that's it but anyhow who yeah you didn't have a phone to ring or you had a text, you know, you had 10 pound credit and that would be lasting you for a couple of weeks. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, my child won't be going anywhere without a phone so I can contact them.

Not happening. Yeah, no, I know. But again, so how old? So Alfie just went on a first beavers trip. Yes. And they camped and I didn't let him camp. Oh, I think that's five. It's only five.

Yeah, it's young. I felt bad though, because some of his mates were, although one of the moms did have to pick them up for the evening. there's another one in November so I'm going to assess the six-chew. Why was you worried? Because they're in an environment.

I was just worried for him that he might then get a little bit on here all night. You didn't want to have to go and pick him up basically at 3 o'clock. Well, I was away, so it wouldn't have been me. No, obviously you're on standby for that but I just would like him to enjoy it.

I wouldn't like him to do so. Do you remember when Don went on that Chelsea thing and he hated it and he had to come home? There's up in work. He bought me a Chelsea hair band night, didn't they? That was really, he bought me a Chelsea hairband. Oh, did they? What a geese.

I know. It's so hard. I mean, it's funny because me and Jack were talking about this last night just due to some like recent events around, you know, where we live. Yeah, the area. Yeah, mad. And it's like when we were younger, we did so many things that I wouldn't even do now. No.

No, that's right. I would not walk the streets. No. And look, we weren't. We were just being kids, you know, I would maybe push boundaries, but I'd always have a limit and always come home. I was a bit of a scared of ourselves a little bit. And we had a lot of respect for our parents that we just wouldn't push certain boundaries.

But yeah, when I think that I'd be walking the streets in the dark, I would not do that. You're fearless. You think you know everything. And you don't, and you're not as aware as you are now what's going on. And also you're not looking at the news because you're looking at your music, your clothes, your makeup. You're not looking at the bigger world.

Your world is what you're doing today, what make you're seeing, what you look like. And you've got no response. Now you've got a child, you look at it all so differently. I mean, I know we wasn't, I mean, to be fair, I got, we did some silly things. But we all, you all do. Yeah, but not, I'm not talking like shocking levels. No, no, not shocking levels, but still that I would not want my children doing that.

When I think about Eliza's age, we were all out having a drink at that time. Yeah, yeah. How was Eliza? Should be 15 in September. Yeah, I was getting hammered. everywhere. That's what I mean. Yeah.

I do think the kids also get Eliza's age group, they get a hard time. It's not really their fault the technology is out. No, of course. It's not their fault. They're all on phones, is it? Well, no, they're in like a bit of a weird situ because it's all the tech stuff and all the social stuff, which is damaging. But then you wouldn't then let them be roaming the streets over.

So it's like, what do you want them to do? What do you want them to do? But then I sat on every. MSN. Yes. I used to get home from school, sit on MSN all the day, all night long. But you're still not privy to what's out there now. You were just chatting to your mates and stuff.

Yeah, but you still had the internet. You still had weird. I know, but it's not like, we're not seeing what we're seeing now. No, it's not. But again, I think that's the whole thing of everybody is so open to it. You know, the rumours I've heard about this weekend, all from Facebook, at the minute, there's like, I have. helicopter and I go on Facebook and I can tell you what's happened when it's

happened. That's what I mean. And it is crazy. And also people's privacy. Yes. There's no privacy to, you know, like it's just plastered on Facebook immediately. Can I just say I was on the motorway. I was going to work.

It really upset me this, not told you. I was going to work. I can't remember what road we were on. We were 20 minutes from where we were going and we were behind a terrible accident. Oh, no. But maybe three or four cars away. They closed the road. We were there an hour and 20 minutes, just stood still.

Do you know how many people were getting out of their cars and filming it? Yeah. To put it on Twitter. Do you know how many people? There was an air ambulance. Please God, no one died in that. But it could have been a deaf. People were getting out of their cars to film it. What gives them the right to do that?

What if someone's husband or someone's wife was in that car? They're going to see it online before they get told about it. Yes. I think it's disgusting. Yeah. Really, really, I was saying to Elio, it's disgusting. It is. It is shocking.

It is. And that's the world we live in. And this is like even that thing that was on about you the other day. Oh, can you believe it? Yeah, I mean. I mean, like with you, I didn't see it. I had a couple of messages, genuine messages where people thought I was ill. And it was a Facebook cropped page.

Yeah. Yes. That's why I called it out. Bastards. Yeah, no, it's bad. You can't, it's, yeah, that's crazy. But then also there's, like, an element where there are kids just being kids. You know, again, we've all done it.

We've all got, and it's plastered all over Facebook with these photos of people's children. Oh, yeah. Saying, you know, they've just done this. And okay, and it's like, people just can't wait to jump on every little thing. Don't get me wrong, there are some things that are. There's like being mischiebite, like, say like, we did it, didn't we like playing them? Or they've been in the park and they've had a couple. A couple of cans of drink and they've left it, okay, it's not nice to litter, but come on, it's kids being kids. You don't need to put it all over Facebook.

Another interesting thing, though, your mum said, there was a thing that used to happen. There used to be a sort of a number of kids that could be together. If it was over four or five, I got it multiple times. What is it? Was it called a section? But it was purely, if you were in a group of more than five people. But that happened when it got too much, because when I. used to roam the street it got

there could be groups of like 30, 40, 50 people so they would then call it you'd get a section something

if you were seen in a group more than three people you would get a section notice but what I was going to say is you don't have

Bobby's on the beat anymore you don't have police officers walking around as much why not you don't

because of funding there were no community centres yeah but also I don't think people roam the streets in those volumes

I went to like we used we used to congregate to the park I went to where the other day it was going through where you used to live and I've never seen so many teenagers on the street together. Where I used to live? Yeah, there was 20 people by the lights.

Really? Yeah, altogether. Why not at school, sorry? No, it was later, 6 o'clock at night. Oh, really? A lot of kids, yeah. But were they harming? No, not harming anyone.

And I thought, oh, it reminds me the old days. I wasn't annoyed with it. No. I've just not seen it for a long time. I think that used to come into place when it was late at night. You know, it was becoming a bit of a generation thing. Yeah. I don't.

And you know what? I always remember there was a boy that we went to school with. And this is how I remember it because it just never leaves my mind. Yeah. We'd be in a group. And, you know, there weren't loads of us and we were harmless just sat there. We were playing music. And every time somebody wanted to walk through us and it might have been somebody older or somebody

with a small child, he would always say, whoever was playing music, turn the music off. And I always remember that to this day, because I thought, like, what a lovely... Having that respect. Because it is, A, you're having to walk through this group of people and be, you're blaring out music. I've done it before in our local, like shopping centres and stuff.

I feel intimidated if I'm on my own. And I'll walk through five or six boys of a certain age. And they're on scooters and they've got balaclavas on with their mobile phones. It makes me feel scared. Yeah, absolutely. So God knows what it's like for the elderly Oh, it's a hot, it's such a tricky one Listen to this, look, this leads on for me

You'll love this, we've got a lot of points here Emma from Bista Any shopping knocking about, no Childhood, for me It's trying not to pass things on from my childhood Not making my kids finish their plates Like I did grown up And now I eat everything in sight

Not giving them body issues Being a bigger kid And my mum are making me aware of that I was a latchkey kid, so I'm trying the best to take the kids to them from school, etc. And not wanting to fuck them up, you know, like mum, guilt, not wanting to screw them up and always trying to do my best. Being a parent is very hard. The juggle of working, exercising, kids club, school, WhatsApp groups. It's never ever stops.

But I'm feeling very grateful. I'm able to have a flexible job at the moment and I juggle it so far. But I just thought those points were really interesting. It's just, it's, um... The finishing your plate thing is very interesting because it is. I actually watched this somewhere one of the sort of news channels in the morning and they were talking about

making them eat it all up and that is all from war days when you were on rations whereas the kids' plates now are massive and you're expecting them to eat it all and it is so true but they shouldn't be no but again it's that thing of

I do hate it when I'm throwing food away but even I did it on Friday when you came over I did way too much food and no one ain't nothing It's so bad It is bad Joni ate all her plate up No she did

And the weight one's interesting Isn't it Yes very You obviously you've gone through that a little bit Haven't you But even Alfie says that The other day

For a book I'm chunky mummy I mean he couldn't be Anything far from chunky But isn't it weird But Joni says it I'm fat aren't I And I think

Where do you get that from I think She goes She went this one and that one they're thinner than me and my legs are bigger than this one and so that's all through probably what they're seeing online

or hearing their parents talk about it's scary having a child just gives me so much anxiety for when he's older like I think I just want you to stay young so I can just keep you I can

there's an element where you just lose them Of course you do. And you just hope and pray that they respect you and they choose good people around them because, you know, you can lay the foundations but also they're going to... Friends is so important. Friends is major.

Friends group is so important. And actually talking of Eastenders, the storyline at the moment, with Tommy and the other young boy. Is it Livy? You know the new one from Australia? I remember. Isn't that?

Joel. Oh, oh, I don't know. Yes, it is Joel. He's just. so interesting and you just look at Tommy and you just feel and you just want to get him and say stop you know he's just living in he's being he's being groomed by someone he's similar to his age is the whole um Andrew Tate oh right isn't it you know we showed him that speaker that's who there right but it's him not being very nice getting caught up in the police and he's just there

it's a disrespect to women as well so he's obviously got trauma with whatever he's gone through with women so he believes that's how women should be treated like not respectful they're not yeah very very but yeah he's got sort of two groups of friends and you're kind of thinking just go to them because yeah it's so true and then you know as boys I think you want to be that sort of you don't want to come across like you're a let's say a pussy as they would describe it but it's like don't try and be the hard man just be just be you it's fine but we've all done it haven't we we've all gone through I remember oh yeah doing the little three group switching. Oh, I've had the most terrible friend group ever. Yeah. Terrible, terrible.

But I think you always end up hopefully where you're meant to, you end up back where you're meant to do. For me, my biggest thing is things that have happened in my life. I talk about it a lot in my book actually. But the thing I can't get over, now I am a mum, is how the parents of your friends allow you not to go home or allow you not to be close to your friends. family. Yeah. It's not so much the friends. It's the family.

That blows my mind. Because if Eliza's best mate came here and didn't want to go home for three weeks, you'd encourage her too. I'd be saying, come on, I'd be ringing her mum. I'll be saying she's got to come home. Let's do something together. As much as they want to be together, you need to be in your own home with your family. I would never allow that to happen.

Yeah. I just wouldn't. Yeah. Goes my mind. We were talking about this actually. We have a couple of my old schoolmates. Just about some of them. of, yeah, the situations at school

where what you'd get up to at those houses and look, at the end of the day I get it, you're safe. And parents allow other things or they don't. That's what I'm saying. They're not bothered or you have that softer so it's like, oh, we'll go there and we'll do that. Which I get like you'd rather everyone be under your roof and all of that, but then there's a certain

you've got to take some sort of responsibility and duty of care. Of course. Some of the things, we were getting drunk like I wouldn't do that. Or if I knew my daughter was going somewhere and she would get in that state, I'll be like, absolutely not. Well, they just wouldn't go back there, would they? No, exactly.

But then again, as parents, they didn't know. No. Well, sometimes, yeah. But generally, they don't know what you're doing, and they think, oh, you're fine and you're doing this. But at least you're not roaming the streets. You're in someone's home. I know, but you could have had alcohol poisoning and smashed yourself down the stairs. You say you're okay because you're at home.

It's irrelevant. Yeah. Everywhere there is a level of danger. Yeah, of course. But again, it's all about that letting the kids grow up, doing the things they want to do responsibly. You've got to make mistakes to learn from.

You have to. Yeah. Otherwise, you would have no moral compass. And also, you have to have fun. It's not going to be everything you agree with or wish for your child to do, but they have to go out and, like you said, do silly things and get into a bit of, you know,

where they're ringing you going, oh, mum, I don't know, I would have ended up on the wrong track. I hope that they would call, yeah. But that's the other point. I think you have to, you don't want to drum it into them too much because you want them to be, you want to be that person that they want to ring. They want to ring. Even if they're in the most danger, they need to ring you.

And I, rather than thinking, oh, no, I feel like, oh, my God, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you only find that now, how hard that is to navigate. Of course. Because people will go to me, even you've said, oh, you're so soft or. Yeah. You have to. to be at these ages. It's not about letting them get away with murder,

but you have to pick your battles. Well, also, in the grand scheme of things, what is she doing? But if she's a bit rude, there's no need to have World War Free. No. Because the more you have a go at them, the more they don't want to be at home,

or the more that they won't know in those situations. No, but then the other flip side of that is you can't feel scared or afraid to be a certain way. There needs to be a balance. There's got to be disciplined. No, no. It's just very, very, very rocky. Yeah, you don't.

Yeah, even, I can't imagine that those fragile ages, even now at my kids' ages, picking battles with stuff and they're children and they're not going anywhere, do you know what I mean? But, and even for me, I always constantly say to them, you can tell mommy anything. Mommy and daddy, you can tell them anything. Yeah, always. I try and drum that into them. Yeah, you don't want to feel scared.

You don't want them to feel scared of you. No, you want them to feel scared enough that they're going to choose. No, no, sorry. They're going to, again, like I said, you don't know, if you're in danger you don't want them to be thinking I can't ring my mum

because she's going to go crazy and she's going to chuck me at the house she's going to beat me at whatever you know it's enough fear or not to want to let you down yes

and try and make the right choices respect but it's not scared enough that they know they can call you if they need to it is all about respect it's even like so you live in a village

yes so you know Liza can't just go out and get trains so you're going to have that well so they're in my head I'm like I want to stay where I live because I like the fact that they've got a little town they can get on the train

and I'm like where are they going but it will be because they're friends you see it in where everyone's so close but also you see it school runs everyone's walking about but it is more of a town and is that a nice thing

are we scared for it is that actually quite nice well there's a park near me it's got a skate park and when I take the kids there the amount of teenagers, they're all there in groups, they're playing football, it's lovely, it's really lovely to see, I see them come, they obviously go to our start, they get their little bits

and bobs, and they're there with all their mates, they're not, how lovely is that? They're just going, playing their music, doing their skateboarding or their scootering. And that's the thing, I think we've got to remember where we live, and we know, we live in a place where, you know, generally, if the children go out, you are, it is generally safe. Well, but it is. When you live near stations, though, there's always a bit, you've got to be careful. But generally, I'm saying we don't live inside of London. No, I know.

Well, no, I had a lot of messages a couple of a few weeks back when I did one of your mum. And a few people were saying, I let them go over the fence and they're in the farmers field. And I said, may I just say, there'll be a lot of people listening to this who live in inner city London, who live in a flat, who haven't got a garden. No, what do they probably let their kids go out? They'd probably let them have a walk around. What are they going to do? I haven't got a garden. Course they're going to let them out at 12.30.

Scary, isn't it? It's all about your, where you see it. Okay, well, let's take it back. Else, when we were younger, we used to play out in the Rush Street, didn't we? We lived in a dead end, what would you call it? Coldysak. Was it a Coldysak? Would you call it that?

We knew all the neighbours. I used to come over six weeks. You'd go out in the morning and you'd go home when it was dark. Well, no. Yeah, well, we had an alleyway to the house. But you'd go and have a wee. We would just run in and out, wouldn't we? Get food.

Get a drink, have a week. But even when we used to be at non-nors after school, we were out. If we'd get him from school, you'd be out. And sometimes in the summer, I remember, it'd be 8, 9 o'clock at night. Absolutely. I couldn't tell you the age. But also, there were a lot of kids all from the road. We all played out.

But again, it was a community that road. Everyone knew whose kids. If someone got into trouble, they'd ring you. It's again. We were going to all the, everyone were going to everyone's houses. Yeah, wouldn't we? Yeah, we'd be in someone who'd end up eating there, going there, walking down to the shock. It's a lovely childhood.

People's births. Yeah. Picking all the flowers off everyone. out of everyone's gardens making perfume pulling their wall down with your skirt with your dress

oh yeah I remember that and I played what was it we played off grand touch off grand touch and I jumped on one of the neighbours' walls

my stress got caught I jumped down and bought the whole wall with me what about the bird umpty dumpty what happened with the bird what happened with the bird we was at this girl's house

and we were playing catch weren't we yes I was thinking darts but that was in the dog for a dart in my back. I stepped back to grab the, to catch the ball, and I fell back, the bird. Canary.

Oh, what, in a cage? Came out of the cage, the cage flew, bird came up, the cat jumped up, bang. Oh, well. It was like, yeah, like something off of Tom and Jerry or something. Yeah. What did you do? I know.

Ran out of that house, did I shit myself. That's hilarious. There's actually a sitcom episodes with Dell, isn't it? And Rodney, they go and clean and the bird dies, they get a new bird. Yeah. And then they go, I mean, you're really happy. They're like, oh, birds were working up.

They fucking knew the bird was dead in the first place. They're like, how's a bird come back to life? I don't know if she ever bought another bird. Oh, I don't know. Yeah, they're the sort of thing. God rest of the canary. So what did you do then? Street raking.

Oh, you was? Going around. And Nanny let you? No, she didn't. I'd go to a friend's house and that parent allowed me because mom and dad was so strict. Yeah, because Nanny and Granddad wouldn't even let you go on school trips, would they? Well, I went on the odd school trip and I broke my arm, didn't I? The streets were very, they were very, very strict.

But once... Why do you think that is? Age? Age, worry and having a girl at the age they did. They wanted to wrap me up in Cottonwall. But yeah, I was down the canal. Really? I remember getting a bus and being late one night

and getting on the wrong bus in Stone, New York, and going the wrong way. No, I was so frightened about getting home because I was late home It was after school one night But I remember that was Possibly had a Nokia then To be able to call

How old was you when you got a phone I feel like Nanny and Grandad They would have been They would have been alright with that Yeah Nanny and Grandad bought me my first phone Did they? Yeah

Because they bought Don one for Christmas Obviously he was older Maybe Don was 11 and I was 10 Yeah, Nanny bought you your phone, didn't you? I'm a Nokia 33, 10. You were 9? 10, maybe I was 10. But again, it was different then.

It's so different. I wanted to play snake on it. I wasn't, you know, no one. It's not the same. It isn't, I'm sorry. And that was probably because I had one. But also, the brick phones are coming back. Good.

Are they? Yeah, so what they want to do is for schools to say you can come with a brick phone. Perfect. No smartphones. Amazing. Smartphone free childhood, the lady, I had her on one of the first episodes of this. I remember. And it has just gone mad.

So what does that mean? I wish that that was a, it probably, it was around, but I didn't, I wasn't aware of it. It's where people get together. So on your school WhatsApp group, yeah, all your kids say are coming into year five and you go, we're all going to make a pact. Who's with us? We're not giving our kids smartphones. Yeah.

So they haven't got the peer pressure of their means. So everyone in the class ain't got one. There's no peer pressure. And that is a movement they're doing. And that is also, you know, while we're on it, that is so difficult as well. because you don't want I did it yeah

you don't want to be that person and then you get to a point where Eliza's like I will be that person I know but it was awful I know I know Maria when she got into year eight

she got into year eight there was an assembly all about phones and they said who hasn't got a phone and she was the only one no I think you did well for year eight now I've always said year seven if he's walking to school

whatever which he won't be on his own I walk behind him whatever but yeah he will have a phone but only to be able to contact. So if there's a brick thing comes back. But you're saying that now, if his mates have the latest I've found. Not all right, we'll see. But fingers crossed, I think you're both very lucky.

I think everyone will be on board. Yeah, I think it will be banned. It'll be illegal. To your 16 or something. I've unfortunately caught the wave of it with Eliza. I met a... Jone you won't be getting one until she's 16. Four team for a phone.

Do you reckon? Absolutely. Or a brick. I mean, her and her and really. Ruby, walk around with them phones. They think they've got phones, so what are we talking about? I met some people on holiday. They had three girls chatting away.

Yeah. They had banned North Face coats at the school. Why? Fair enough. Is it the pressure? Well, because everyone was wearing them. Like a uniform. And it was, yeah, then it was adding pressure on people wanting North Face coats.

So they banned North Face coats. That's crazy though, isn't it? Got it for North Face. but that's good. And that's why you didn't have uniform, did you at school? Why is everyone following? No uniform. Why do?

It's like anything ill? They've got a uniform. It's the normal face coats. It was the AarMax trainers. I love it. And they all wore the same. I think uniform's great. Oh, uniform is fantastic.

Never had a uniform in my life, primary or secondary. But now, can you imagine if Eliza didn't have a uniform? Oh, it would be mad. Oh, my gosh. The getting ready would be mad because they should be spending half a now wondering what to wear it would be nuts everyone has to have even um even as kids when they went to like private nursery yeah I mean don't get me wrong you just go and buy a load of cheap leggings and tea yeah but they come home they're destroyed at least now I'm like they're

in a uniform but absolutely you know what to buy every morning I'm like it's brilliant absolutely as baby James getting on there yeah all right having a little kip yeah do you think I know I've got the monitor but I'm just going to go and check that's fine well you haven't got boys, but do you think the freedom thing, depending on sex, Matt, like, is different as well? I do think girls get up to more. Oh, do you? I think boys, if they're into their sport, like you said, could go to a skate park, go and play

their game of football. Or gaming? Yeah, they game. I think girls wander around the streets gossiping at my age. jumped about me. I'm not generalising, stereotyping. But in my opinion, the boys would be on the football pitch with their jumpers as goals. What about the boys that are just riding their bikes around?

Well, again, I don't know those ones. I just find it, it depends who you are, it depends on your circle of friends, and you need to have a passion. Yeah, it's important to have hobbies, isn't it? And if you have hobbies... Because I don't feel like we had hobbies, Zells, did we? Back in the room. We didn't have hobbies, did we really?

Well, I used to do my drama and stuff For how long, not really, though Again, I think there's a balance So this one is another big one for me I was just going to say about that The girls do did drama lovely, right? Takes up a lot of the time And Liza now does her drama at school

Extra curriculum You know And she does her singing She really enjoys them I hear her in her room She's singing She's doing whatever, fine My friend

Now I'm not saying it's wrong Her daughter I think dances seven times a week Yeah She travels around the country You know It is amazing Yeah

I like being at home But I think that's what I was going to say I think the difference with us is We loved being at home Family Games We had Sunday dinners Yeah but and again it just wasn't really a thing.

I used to go shopping with mum and dad on a Saturday. That's all I remember going to fish pools. Yeah, you go to be in Q and play with the kitchen. I loved it. Yeah, but that's all that. Or go to a friend, we were going to a friend's house. I don't really remember, and I, that's what we enjoyed doing. But Joni says, Joanie will say, I'll say, let's go out for the day.

She said, I just want to be at home. She's happy being at home. It is nothing wrong with that, but I do think. But the hobbies, at their age, yeah, an older age, if they've got some things, that they love, like they're gymnastics. And if they're good at them, then go for it. Go for it. It's brilliant if you can do it.

And it's also down to finance. It's a lot of money for people. Thousand clubs a week. Yeah, no, of course. But if you can find their little niche, like there's a friend who her daughter does football. So they know every Saturday morning they're up early. Like, that's what she does. That's her passion.

Yeah, of course. So again, I do think if they've got things like that, Yeah, cool. It will keep them out of trouble. You enjoy. And going back to the different sexes, I just think it's different worries. Yes. I think, you know, with boys, you worry about fighting, you worry about drug.

I don't know. In my head, that's what I just think about. Getting girls pregnant. That actually petrifies me. Yeah. I always said that because at least a girl, I think you've got a little bit of a control. With a boy, you don't have that control. Someone could just knock at your door and say, yeah, that petrives.

retrofies me and gaming. I know. There's a gaming scare you? Yeah. Oh really? It's just as bad as sitting on TikTok. No, it's not. Yes, it is.

No, it's not. It is, Maria, because yours not. But it is, no, it is. It's quite, some of the game, it's good, some of it's good for you. I've read up a lot on it. No, I think it depends what you're playing. Roadblocks, all of the things, people that can get in. There's the thing about the safety of those games in what's games.

Yeah, that's what we used to game. We were gamers. But we weren't on the internet. talking to people. I'm talking to people. I'm talking about being online. Yeah, no, you'd have to control that. But that's the point. You say you can control. I love a game. I still sit and playing my game. I've got no issue with that. But we played with a PlayStation with the four people sat in the room. But as long as they're only on with their mates and that. But you don't, but that's the point you don't know.

But then that's the same as, it's another way in. It's a same as a girl being on TikTok and Instagram and chat. It's the same thing. But that's what I'm saying that's a worry for a guy, whereas a guy might not be interested in being on Instagram whereas the gaming thing is what scares me because there are a lot of young boys that I see they're eight and having a fortnight party and I think God you're eight

why I don't get it Oh they're obsessed with it It's Joni's probably one of the only people in a That doesn't play Fortnite or Roblox I mean Alfie plays Roblox Some of it's quite good Like it's not read up on it It's not bad it's not

You cannot listen to talking to people and all of that. But the other thing I would say, moderation. No. You make your choices. It's not down to anybody. No one's business.

What you think's okay. But again, it's all the whole thing of where they're learning it from. This is a problem. It's not from us. It's school, isn't it?

And this is the issue. The boys in his school might have older brothers, older sisters. They're learning things and then Alfie's learning it off of them. Of course. And that's the whole.

It's all outside influence. Yeah, all the time. all the time yeah so that's the thing but yeah from a gaming thing is none of us we haven't witnessed anything

what goes that goes on we know we've Instagram or TikTok I have to say I know a couple of cases with games where it's got very very serious than the police have been involved

like what though what being groomed but that's what I mean I think you're because you're seeing it as well as just playing a game but they think they're talking to someone of their age

and it is, yeah, it won't be happening. And then this all leads back as well to spending too much time on their own in their room. Absolutely. Yeah, that's another thing. Yeah, no. It's really hard. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't, I know. Joni's not yet in her room at all. She's downstairs with me permanently. Eliza's a teenager now. She spends time in her room. Every time I come up,

she's got her phone on and she's on a call. No different to when I was at school and I'd sit in my mum's room for three hours. No, it is different. Yeah. because she didn't have the internet I didn't have TikTok and Instagram

I know what she's doing Yeah but do you You can hear you coming up to stage No no that is mad I'm sure I know but you've got to just keep checking Yeah but she'll just She'll just do

No I'm sorry But again what do you do then String people up But do you have so I wouldn't be having her in her room all night Personally What did you do at 14 and 15 Were you downstairs with parents

Yeah I've You weren't You were in your rooms because you were teenagers. No, I don't know. My laptop, my computer was downstairs in the kitchen, so I had to be in there. Yeah, we never had kids in the room.

Yes, well, that's different, isn't it? Because you had to be. But Eliza's phone comes down here by the breadbin and the iPad. It's all downstairs. Yeah, no, yeah. She's got rules. The rules are still in place. But it's just a lot of time to just be sat in your bedroom.

Like you said. She's on FaceTime. She's on videos. Well, that's what you think. No, she is. I'm not hearing, babe. But I know that. Yeah, no, I know.

I am on it. It's so hard. But why can't they do that downstairs? But that's my point. Because they're talking about boys at school and they're putting their makeup on. They're washing their faces. The hair dryer's going. They're talking but they're doing stuff all night.

Yeah. It's such an awful age. I would never want to go back to that age. It's a very, very awkward age as well because you haven't got the freedom to do things but you think you're all grown up. But it's horrible. It's horrible. And it's what I find crazy in using Eliza as an example,

Eliza did not want to leave us when we were here. Do you not remember the fights we used to have? We just wanted to play a game and she would not go to bed. Now she don't want to talk about. And now you come around, you don't see her. Oh, it's awful. Horrible. That is, but then like that to me, and again, I know she's at an agent.

This isn't just a lot. I mean, we're saying this about girls. Wait until we've got boys. But the thought of my family coming round and he was just sitting in his room That would not be happening I know you might think I'm wrong But I do not like that

Your family are here You're downstairs with them I know you might not agree But no I don't know what you're saying No but you know what it always takes me back to I was what when nanny died 16 Yes And I remember it was a Sunday

And mum said come on let's go and see your nan and I was like absolutely and I went and I had the loveliest evening with her and she passed away in the morning and a lot of teenagers would be no thanks yeah yeah that's right

yeah do you know what I mean 100% and I feel thank fuck I did that absolutely that would kill me but a lot of teenagers but also on the other side of Eliza that do spend a lot of time on the other side of Eliza

which I think is important to mention she would love to love to have, like in the summer she's bust it, she loves coming around to yours if she's got a day off she likes being with you. Yeah, of course she does. It's just habits when you're at home, isn't it? It's just in her. So, we're not like, I feel like we're rinsing Eliza up. No, no, no,

no, no, I just, she's just a little case study. Yeah, but this is what I mean, you go from one minute where she wants to be downstairs with us playing the games and you're like, go to bed to next where she's in her room, not interested, it's a funny age, but even we did, we was playing the game, weren't we the other day?

What was we planned some shopping game with the kids and that? We love it. She didn't want to play. She's going mental. And I'm like, it's crazy. But I get it. She don't want to sit with. No, they're young.

Yeah, it's just. But I was like, you're so boring. Why don't want to play with us? Because she don't want to be playing with four-year-olds. I know, but there you go. And then she doesn't, she's not old enough to want to sit with her. I don't know. I don't know.

It's an awkward age. It's a funny one. And you could talk about it for days. I know. But I don't miss that. I look back at that age and I hated it. I hated that age. I found it.

it really a really difficult age I developed late I found girls horrible boys were horrible everyone was horrible I had better friendships with boys yeah I did to be fair yeah

like I'd sit on the phone all night long yeah yeah they just didn't really bring ag no it was just a very but then I had also I had Maria and Dom that's right so Dom I was a year below Dom and all my girlfriends were friends with the boys

in the year above that's generally what happened and I couldn't do anything I couldn't go out with them Dom would not allow it so when Dom was not around i.e. got really drunk at a house party and I'm on MSN

I don't know who I was talking to on webcam and Dom's passed out in a bed no it was me on MSS and then I see her like this oh so they were like your brother's passed out come round I'd be like, yes, come on, girls, we're going around there. And how old were you?

How old was you doing that? Dom was probably, we were probably 14, 15, 16. But then, but mum was there and mum dropped me, you know, it was around the corner. So, mum dropped me. And then I always remember Dom going to, I think it was when he went to Canada or Washington for a school trip. And we were all in the park one day. And I was allowed to then socialise with his friends because he weren't there. And I was like, oh, Mom and Dad were away

It was like, oh, come, it was during the day But I can't remember, I think everyone was just a bit bored That's wild as well I've never done it So I was like, come around But it was it, we were in the garden Mom and Dad are away And you invite, I mean, I did it once

But it was a date, no drinking It wasn't, it wasn't like bad How old were you, where were you? I were like 15 in the park But your mum and Dad were away? I think they were on holiday So he was looking after you? I can't remember.

No, I'm just, that's what? Me, probably me! No, yeah, but yeah, but yeah, I can't remember I might have been staying somewhere I said let's all go back to mine so we all went back to mine and I just remember saying

is take your shoes off shoes off in this house so the shoes went off and we were playing Mario Kart on the game cube like it was nothing it was just a couple of hours knock at the door

I thought oh my God and I've never ever done this but I live the closest open the door my uncles are there and there's just a massive pile of shoes what happened No, I think they were all right.

They were just like, don't take the piss. But I was, I should remember the party I had at mum and dad's. Well, someone put their arm through the fivefold. No, no, that was a sleepover. That was just a sleepover at nine. No, no. That was my first year of secondary school. No, my dad had just gone to a wedding.

And we were the girls there, and then it all went, peaked on. No, when I actually had like a little party thing at mum and dad's on there away. You were there? Do not remember. Oh, good. Let's forget about that one. But, yeah, I mean, that's bizarre. Yeah, I don't remember.

No, we never had, I never had house part of, never, ever. I remember my mum and dad being out, though. I don't know, we're probably at a hospital. What, and bastards? Up with Nanny Liz or Nottie Dahl. And you had people around? Yeah, I remember. Maybe it must have been Nanny Dahl because Nanny Liz died when I was eight,

so I certainly weren't doing it then. Or they did something. They were going out. I don't know why. But I remember I'm going out and me ringing and going, I'll come over. Really? Yeah.

Well, yeah, when I did what I did, all I remember saying, to everyone and my uncles is whatever you do just don't tell Dom just don't tell Dom I was more scared of Dom than my dad

no it's weird where we lived though because there was at that time there was lots of congregations of people and I remember like you would hear

someone's having a house party and everyone would just turn up but I remember going to her girls and we were invited and when I tell you how many people

no it's so bad her house got destroyed isn't it was like when you watch them films it was crazy Yeah, it was really bad. Yeah, we all talk about it being an amazing time.

There's some crazy stuff we're on. So I think we should not give ourselves a hard time. We have to crack on with it. I feel stressed out now. I'm going to go and buy a cage to lock them up in. No. No, and also I think what's really important is you just do what you are doing. Yeah, you have to.

You can't have people telling you what to do or how you should parent your children. All I've said is, James, it's not having an iPad. He's not having an iPad. That's my belief. I don't want him to. Whether that changes, I don't know. But I'm just using that as an example. But everything that everyone does, you've got to just do what you think is right.

You're just torn with trying to do the right thing and them not missing out. Of course. That's what it is all the time. Them not missing out, you're the only one picking up all the pieces and dealing with it at home. Nobody else is. So you have to do what's right for you and your family. That's right. No, absolutely.

And that's like if Alfie's being a nightmare, for example, so you should take your iPad away. his iPad because you know he's going to be a better kid for it. Don't worry about what everyone else is doing. You do what you're doing? Yeah. I'm just using that as an example. It's like no different to now when you're out. And I know that, I don't know, I think, oh, but everyone wants to see James because we've

just got here and, but he's doing that. No. Well, no, because I'm the one that's going to have to deal with that later when he won't go to bed. So he's going for an app is what it is. I agree. Oh, you're so strict. No, I like it.

No, no. But you've got, otherwise, you just live in this or right. You know, it's chaos. It's much nicer to do that. Obviously, that might change. It does change. But I'm just saying, you say that it might do, but it might not. She might remain with that structure.

Yeah, of course. And good for you if you do. And if you don't, you don't. But then if you have another child, there's always things that might change the dynamic and stuff. Of course. But you have to, but that's what I mean in the sense that you parent how you want to. But there is no right or wrong in parenting.

What I think is a bit quite. No, there isn't. There isn't. There isn't. There's just so many external influences. This is sort of going off subject a little bit. But because we're all so close and we talk about so much and oh, first this and first this. Yeah. Yeah. I think about when they get older and things. What do you mean? Well, just things as they, you know, as they do as they get older. So we, I don't, I don't know, obviously it's sort of different dynamics, but did mum ring up, I don't know, how? her family and tell the competition competitive. No, no, no, about, I don't know, earlier got really drunk last night. When I, you know, let's say when I was young and I got caught.

She didn't have anyone to do that with. No, but that's what I mean. But obviously, you know, because then Natalie rings us and say, oh, girls, I've had a bit of a nightmare. Something's happened. Like, it's sort of that balance between sharing that, but also then having other people's opinions. So they get older and they start doing things that are more adult-like.

I'm not going to wish in a way. But also, no, the other thing with that, I think, is there comes a certain point where they are old enough, they don't want all their business. No, and it's respecting their privacy. And you've got to respect them. And that's what I'm talking about. You have to. You don't sit and gossip about your kids. But we're close and we talk about everything.

But there's an element of, no, you shouldn't have to share things. You don't. I don't think it's about gossiping. It's about maybe just advice. That's the difference. You know what I mean? Obviously, Natalie is the first one to go through it. But if I'm having a really, really bad time, I want to call you.

Well, no, yeah, because it's stuff that you've not experienced. No. You don't know if it's right or, I mean, we don't know. We haven't got the kids. But it's just having someone to talk to it, isn't it? Yeah, like, even now, if my kids are having little tantrums or things that they're doing, and I say, and you're like, that's normal. Of course.

Of course. So it's just sometimes that reassurance or, and also, like, what you don't want to then fall into. But then you don't want judgment. No, but what you don't want to fall into then else is, if you're, if James was to do something one day and you're like, oh that's not good if you feel like you can't speak about it because what you're ashamed

or you're embarrassed you should never feel like that so they're children and no absolutely but I'm talking more as they get older and then it's that judgment but then what I think you do

no disrespect is I would phone Sophie and have a conversation because you talk to your friend because you talk about that age group yeah yeah because they completely get it

yeah yeah yeah for you it would be madness do you know what I mean whereas you go at that happened last week You should be like, yeah. Yeah. I know. So when you're going to you, that's normal.

Yeah. But you, yeah, and that's what I'm saying. It's sort of that between having advice, but also then that person being judgmental. Yeah, you can't. You know, at the end of the day, again, I'm using Eliza as an example. Yeah, sure. But she's still a little baby. Like, she's our, we've had so much time.

There's certain things that you're like, no, I wouldn't want to know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? There's sort of certain. Yeah. Yeah. It's just, again, it's interesting and it's crazy. It's all very interesting.

It's the pits, mate. That's what it is. What, ATB, 80B. Or the very best. Who said having kids would be fun? I don't fit anyone has, actually. Oh, right, okay. It's a myth.

It's a massive myth. But just, yeah. Anyone pregnant, you've got loads to look forward. Yeah, enjoy yourself. I don't worry about that stuff because it's the best thing you'll ever do. No, it is. But that's why the baby, this young stage, when you've got them, so Eliza was talking about driving,

the other day and she was going you know ruby i'll pick you up i said where are you going it's cute and she was talking like that she's I'll take Ruby and Alfie anywhere I was like great but yeah once she I said to that driving oh my god she's driving in two years I know I said even when you get your car

said you can't think you can just go out as and when you please and she just looked at it but why not no of course I know driving oh my god see that to me and you're worried about sitting in her bedroom oh the best and then she's on the road and you're going to be like can you text when you get there But don't use your phone on the car.

But it's not even her. That's another risk. You're just going back. Oh my God, no. All I try to do, I've said it before and I say that again, all I try and do is eliminate risk. And life is over when she drives all the risks is work. No, I tell you, there's one thing that my son will never do,

and that is have a motorbike. And I don't care. 100%. He can, yeah, whatever. I'll say it now. I'll say it now. Or not doing boxing. No.

They're the two things. I don't want to. watch him getting battered, thank you. I think that's fair. Or rugby. Or entering the car when he's not with you. What's the sport when they're just in the big plastic ball and they roll down absorbing? Yeah, he can do that.

World champion Zorba. Oh dear. No skiing. Oh, I'm sweating. I don't even talk about that. Yeah, no, it's too much. Ski trip ahead. Oh, yeah.

Oh, Jack's up. Well, if he wants to try. travel the world. Like, it's amazing. Listen, absolutely. Johnny has gone to athletics this morning. She's been picked. Oh, good. Really good stuff. You're waiting for the call? Yeah, no, it's awful.

To rush to the hospital. It is awful. Awful. But she really wanted to do it. I can't tell you. No. I'm so pleased that we've done this this morning because I am, I just desperately want them to get back to school. And it'd be done and she'd be okay. And that's just her going to athletics and with the school.

See, Touchwood. That's one thing I love. don't think about yet. No, because you haven't had 15 broken bones. I know, I know, I know. I think that's sort of the... It is the pits. I know. Just the whole thing is the pits and I've had it too many times.

I'm emotionally scarred, mentally scarred by it. And I just want to get on my holiday in one piece. So people can just jump in the pool without a plaster cast on. It's all I want. Having how many weeks you got there. Oh, you'll be there now. I'll be there now. So, yeah.

And having a nice time. The travelling thing's interesting because I feel like I haven't got a leg to stand on when we come to that conversation. Yeah, shocker. Oh yeah, no, you've done it. Absolutely. I'm going to have to go with them. I could go with them.

Yeah, no, there's no way. They're not going to want you with them. Definitely not going to want you there. They might if I pay for everything. Well, that's my thinking. I want to go to Ocean Beach? I can get you in. You want to stay in a hostel or five-star hotel?

I thought we'll be there on the balcony. Oh, no, it's hideous. Bribe them. Bribery, brainwashing. Right, off. Love you all. Cheers you, bye.