Life with Nat - EP162: Scraping the Biscuit Barrel #30

Episode Date: October 15, 2025

Nat & Marc debrief on Nat’s book tour so far. They DIP back into the big biscuit debate and hear some exSTRAWdinary inventions. Marc is TECHnically and chair squeakily distracted, and Nao’s been shocked at her wife’s revelation. Enjoy! xx Please subscribe, follow, and leave a review. xxx You can find us in all places here; ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podfollow.com/lifewithnat/view⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ We're on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/lifewithnatpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Nat's insta: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@natcass1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Neice's insta: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@natsnieces⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Tony's insta: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@tonycass68⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Linny's insta: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@auntielinny.lwn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ THE BIG CHRISTMAS LIVE SHOW 7th December ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- claphamgrand.com/event/live-with-nat-at-christmas/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The tiny warm-up shows 22nd Oct - The Bill Murray, Islington - https://www.angelcomedy.co.uk/event-detail/live-with-nat-work-in-progress-wed-22nd-oct-the-bill-murray-london-tickets-202510221830/ 4th Nov - Dixon Studio, Palace Theatre, Southend - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.trafalgartickets.com/palace-theatre-southend/en-GB/event/other/live-with-nat-work-in-progress-tickets⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 6th Nov - Hat Factory, Luton - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.culturetrust.com/whats-on/live-nat-work-progress⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 16th Nov - Hawth Studio, The Hawth Theatre, Crawley - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.parkwoodtheatres.co.uk/the-hawth/whats-on/live-with-nat-work-in-progress⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Book Club: October's Book is Happy Days by Natalie Cassidy (obvs we have to get behind our gal!!) ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://harpercollins.co.uk/products/happy-days-natalie-cassidy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Get reading, all reviews welcome. We're also accepting suggestions for a Christmassy thriller fiction for November Nat’s solo chats - any rants always welcome!  Scraping the Barrel - SCAN AND SHOP VIRGIN NO LONGER! Marc’s still adamant that days old salad from a takeaway is an ideal packed lunch - what’s the maddest thing you’ve pack for lunch? Bonce vs list! - Are you a list maker? Always collecting for Nostalgia Fest! What’s brewing with the Nieces - are we all skipping the end of summer, all of autumn and going straight to Christmas - Nat’s door is! Group chat ettiquette & pranks. Nice Lorraines… get in touch! Things we’re nagging with Linny about - More lateness stories and some cleaning questions, please! The Tony talks chatter - Keep your DIY questions coming, also open to some saucy two paragraph stories for Tony to read out at the Southend show - think cheeky postcards (both in tone and length)! Can we make Tony an influencer and get him any freebies?  AOB - Housecoats… let's bring them back?!  Georgina’s Fact - What cat have you let out of the bag? Have you been scammed? TBC Cultural differences ep - inspired by Linny’s Mediterranean heritage and her & Ellia's Italian trip, we'd love to hear about the cutural differences you've noticed between the UK and basically ANYWHERE else!  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I don't think we've ever had a podcast that I've got so much to do in. You're all right? Yeah. There's so much to talk about. Why have you got that hat on your head? Because I wanted you to see my new present from Camilla Okay Because you can get messages from people that say

Oh I'll do this and I do that And Camilla said I work at Didley Squat Farm Right And then she turned up With a huge bag of goodies In a Didley Squat Farm bag We've got a Didley Squat Farm bag We've got a Didley Squat Farm chopping board

I've got a cap I've got a t-shirt I hope she didn't pay for those Well I think she probably did Because she's very nice But anyway look I thought you'd be impressed Impressed of what Well we love Clarkson's farm

I'm amazed Anyway Thank you Camilla Very good I've got loads of gifts of people, so many gifts. I've got the most beautiful picture off of a little girl from Lakeside. That's nice. It's really good.

Little Amelia. Little Amelia. Thanks for being an inspiration to everyone. Amelia Muir, age 10 from Basingstoke. By the way, I loved you in EastEnders. She did a picture of me and the trumpet. Nice. And a life with that picture.

She even got the board in, look Nice So lovely Anyway, there's loads to talk about Yeah We also got a wooden cock Yeah, I mean that's odd From Nanny Cock

Yeah I feel like we're back already Back in Kuta La Fari Yeah So thank you But yeah Just lots of gifts from people I feel overwhelmed this week

Thank you to everybody Who's come to see me I've met so many of you this week It's really brought a lot of excitement to me And where have they seen you? They've seen me in where Where? They've seen me in where

There was about 130 people Did a lovely Q&A Then I went to Lakeside, Thurrock Where I was very late I'm not going to go into it Everybody knows about it It's boring I don't think everybody knows about it

I think there'll be people listening to this That don't know about it Well I finished on Sunday brunch On Sunday at 1pm Yeah. And there was a book signing at Thurrock Lakeside at 2. Yes. I didn't realize it's my own fault.

I genuinely thought that I'd be finished at 12 and didn't question the timings. Okay. Until I had a research chat. Yeah. And then they said, oh, at 12.30 we do this and at 12. And you thought, hang on. How's that going to work? I thought, hang on a minute.

No. So anyway, the book people think we've got a spaceship to get around. Oh, a helicopter. Yes, possibly. Fair enough, I suppose. But that isn't the case, and I was an hour and 20 minutes late, and people were waiting for me, until at Lakeside, for an hour and 20 minutes in a queue.

Oh. And I don't like queuing, and I don't like lateness, so I turn up. You say you don't like lateness. No, I don't. You've been late to a few things. Sorry? You have been late to things before. Only because of traffic?

Maybe. Never. have I been late because I've been relaxed and I don't care ever. Okay, fine. Okay. Anyway, it has been a bit of a mad two weeks. Yes.

And what it made me realise, actually, is when you see people doing press junkets and you see Brad Pitt or Taylor Swift promoting our album, these people work really hard really hard it is a lot actually the promotion of things is bloody hard work

why are you just a humming no I'm listening to you it's interesting hard work it is tiring you have to talk about the same thing and keep it fresh get asked the same questions

Yeah And you are Continuously on the go I did 14 regional radios Every 10 minutes You're wiping the sweat off your brow How's um

Rachel getting on at a moment In a maternity ward Is you right? There's our job going I'm not I am not I'm just asking No I'm not

I'm not comparing it No no I'm not comparing it To amazing people jobs. I'm talking about people in the public eye who have to promote things. Okay. And you see them on Graham Norton, you think, oh, that's lovely. They've probably done 50 things that day, talking about the same thing and have to go on

and be fresh. Fair enough. I mean, I've seen Professor Brian Cox twice this week. He's exhausted. I beg your pardon? I've seen Professor Brian Cox twice this week and he's exhausted. Twice. You've mentioned that now. of that word the wooden one Oh C-O-X

Brian Cox That's his name So differentiate between the wooden thing You just pulled out He is very C-O-C-S Right but say it I want you to hear the difference

Cox Yeah Cox Which was that one Go on No go on Go on Let's just say the two different ones

Say the one would be O-X first Brian Cox Right. Now say the one of CKX, S, CKS. Nanny Cox. Does go between him again? Brian Cox. No, stop saying the first names.

No, I have to. No, I want to hear the two words back to back. Cox. Yeah. Cox. Sorry? Cox. Cox.

Does ever have to bleak this out? Don't think so. No, I think so. Because then you've got a cock, a chicken and a. Cock This is really You know My mum

Is not going to appreciate this Your mum will Because I'm talking About Brian Cox Loves him Obsessed Says hello to her

On the telly I know On the one show That is quite cool Actually Very cool Right Right

We've got a lot To get into I'm not going To bang on About the book Please buy the book End of story Hmm

Oh no, I cannot believe what I am hearing. I've had to stop the pod. I'm listening to Today Zep, Thursday, 2nd of October, and you're talking about dunking biscuits. What do you mean you don't dunk them in a coffee? Oh, best believe if there's a biscuit in my hands and a cup of coffee in the other, they go hand in hand. 100% any fucking biscuit, bourbon, custard cream, rich tea, ginger nut. It's going in the fucking coffee. I've dicked an Oreo in a coffee before I must be well rogue then I'll dip anything in anything I couldn't give a fly and toss

and a custard cream saying it's too sweet to dunk what absurdity oh my goodness I don't know if I want to come to the live show anymore I might not be welcome to dip my mince pie I want to dip my mince pie and my coffee

who gives a shit and he live once oh my gosh I can't believe it I'm gobsmacked That's a wind up No it's not Yes, it is. No, she was passionate.

I mean, there was quite a few, a few, I can't speak. A few, a few, there was quite a few, um, duble entendres there. Is it entendre? Entondra, yes. Entandras, yeah. Interesting. But anyway, she doesn't agree with me. No.

She agrees with you. She thinks biscuits can be dipped in coffee. I think so. I haven't had anything sweet tonight, by the way, after my very healthy dinner. Good. I'm just saying, I've. You don't need it. Right, okay

You've got a lot of fans, anyway, of the dipping The dipping into coffee, tea, different biscuits I mean, how can you have a custard cream in coffee? I would never have a custard cream in a coffee, ever. A bourbon's right, though, interestingly. Do you continue? Have a listen to this. No, I need a part two for this

because I've just got to the bit where you said that the ginger night is the bully of the biscuit tea and that he's absolutely factually correct. It's so true. I love ginger nuts now. I love ginger bread. I love everything ginger now. But when I was younger, I really didn't.

The flavour was just too strong. And I remember my older brother put like some ginger nuts in the biscuit tin and I never forgave them for it. Even to this day, I think I've still got a bit of a vendetta. But yeah, it's so funny hearing you talk about all these different biscuits that you wouldn't dip. Oh, Natalie Cassidy, you need to learn how to dip a custard cream in a coffee. sorry. No, I'm not doing it. Yeah, but also, I'm on your side with that. It continues. Okay, sorry, part three, part C, whatever you want to call it to the pod. Beth, Beth,

Beth, from wherever she was from, spoke about dates on food and veg. Yes, she is correct, but there's a little bit she missed out. So, say, for example, I think she said it said D something, D4, it means the fourth month. Sorry, I shouldn't have used the number four, D being the fourth letter of the alphabet. So if it said D-7, it would be January B and A, February B and B, March B and C, whatever the month is, fucking L, April

B and D, and then the number would be the date of that month. So you would only ever get, fucking I've got a count now, A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L. It would only go up to L because it's only 12 once in a year, and then whatever number is written next to it is the number of that month. That should not have taken me

a minute. I'm terribly sorry. I haven't got this lady's number, but she's comedy gold. Yeah, she is. And how does she know that? Because we haven't, we didn't know this about labels and people seem very up on it. Yeah, I don't know. Has there been a public announcement that we've missed or? I don't know.

Anyway, Vicky is her name. Right. Just seen it. Because when Vicky did the first message at the end, she started talking about her mince pie She did And I'm sure Yeah she

I think she was being funny No she's coming to clapham Go back to the end of that No she's coming to clapham And she knows it's a Christmas show Yeah but it just had that I started Corpting a little bit It just sounded a little bit

No I think that's your brain No no no no No A bit like when I watched The Traitors the other night I saw a meme today which was very funny and it was a meme of a girl

watching the traitors with her boyfriend and when Charlotte Church started digging she looked over at her boyfriend to see how I grossed he was which I have to say I did have a look over to you and you seemed extremely grossed in the digging stage

in which when Charlotte Church was you know exactly what I don't remember that part of it Do you not? No. You're sure? No. I looked over.

Yeah. And it was this meme was like every man in the country, like watching the traitors with their girlfriends were suddenly enthralled within the show. I did have a little look home. I mean, her backs were fully out. They were out. I don't remember. Shut up.

I don't. They were fully out. That they weren't. For everyone to see. It wasn't her fault. She was bending over. her. But you know, remember like Charlie Dimmock in the day?

Everyone like Charlie Dimmock, didn't they? No, not really. I was about 10. Well, anyway, she gave it a good go. She got her hands dirty, didn't she? Yeah. Been fantastic, hasn't it, the traitors? We haven't seen much of Temeca though yet, have we? No, sadly not.

I was hoping to see her today, actually, but... Did you not? No, I haven't seen her. Hmm. I'm looking for, I'm hoping next week, you know? there'd be a little bit more Check out the big stars, big series, and blockbuster movies Streaming on Paramount Plus

Cue the music Like NCIS, Tony and Ziva We'd like to make up our own rules Tulsa King We want to take out the competition The Substance This balance is not working And the naked gun

That was awesome Now that's a mountain of entertainment. Tim sent me a message. Oh, yeah. Saying, I've seen it. It looks very nice. Lighten a message on the wall too. Is that in regards to the podcast studio?

It is, yeah. I just put a little story up. Oh. I haven't seen that. I just done it. Or you were fiddling around. Let's have a look. Yeah, it's not going.

We need to get you a fast laptop. Well, you have done brilliantly well, and the pictures look lovely the lights look good I do have to say what are you doing just watching the video on Instagram

I do have to say it looks a bit Halloween it's still not hot pink that looks all right on camera I thought we'll see what everyone's comments are okay

I mean to be honest with you that side of it I'm not too worried about that's very fixable it's the other side of it which is very technical side I'm not really bothered

I'm just watching I just want to do the pod to be honest So that's all right I know There's another biscuit Voice note I believe We've had lots of biscuit voice notes

We could do a whole pod actually On biscuits Which Maybe I'll jot down For a rainy day in March or something Hi you're Nat Hi you're Mark Just listening to

Today's scraping a barrel And You're talking about a cup of cheese And biscuits Dunkin and that did you say you're partial to a custard cream and a vionetta sandwich or am I hearing things perhaps I should have relistened to it to double check before I've always noted you but I am a biscuit lover and I've never heard of a vienna sandwich have you got vionetta on

your brain I love a custard cream it is the elite of all biscuits with a cup of tea I'd like a malted milk as well and I do love a chocolate hobnobnob but they're are the ultimate treat. Loving your podcast, my lovely. Really looking forward to the live show. I'm coming with my little brother, Charlie. And we are so excited. Happy Thursday.

Oh, and this is Vicky from Willing. Thank you, Vicki. I love a custard cream and a tea. You are right. I've had several messages, actually. Probably, yeah, a good six or seven, saying you said Vianetta sandwich. I did mean Viennese sandwich.

and I have got Vionette on the brain so my apologies Fraudian slip Easily done, isn't it really I can't believe how much stuff you've had sent in about biscuits Oh, a huge, a huge amount People like talking about normal things

What are you doing? This chair is very squeak I've never sat on this chair before Maybe don't rock on it And it'll be okay It's bad, isn't it? What are you looking at me like that? what was funny about that?

I just don't think the squeaking's necessary. It sounds like an old sort of film. I could carry on. I know, is that? I don't normally sit in this chair. It's not my chair, is it? I'm normally on that desk. Very strange actually sitting in it.

I've just realised that. I'm not used to this. I like that. I like that view. That's my favourite view of the room. Well, yeah, because you're looking, out into the room. You've got the best seat.

Yes. Best seat in the house. Yeah. Possibly. Yeah. I had to stop the middle of the pod with Marks, waving the barrel. Got to be, if I'm going to dung anything, a nice, Marks and Spencer's ginger nut. Thank you, Denise.

People are passionate about their biscuits. Yeah, I'm not sure about ginger nuts. It's interesting. I really like bourbons and digestives. Yeah. I don't really eat a lot of a lot of biscuits. Don't put a face either.

I don't. It's true. We've got a message here from Marie. And she said, is Mark not worried about his cholesterol and heart with all the ice cream he eats? Yes.

Tell him to use the Yucca app. Ice cream is very bad from a concerned listener. Okay. I think we do slightly exaggerate on the ice cream front of me. No, we don't. We do.

No. We do. We talk about it in real time. I'm having a good... Actually, the last couple of weeks, I've not had many. No. No, it's true. You haven't had two a day?

Oh, it makes you sound really bad that. Ooh, biscuits for dunking. Excellent topic of conversation. I dunk in tea or coffee. Digestives, custard creams, fig rolls, Malted milk, Viennese fingers, they're all great dunkers. Not a fan of melted chocolate, so I don't tend to dunk them. However, have you used a penguin, biscuit, not bird, as a straw?

Nibble off a corner, then do the same to the corner diagonally opposite. Dip the penguin in your hot beverage and suck the drink into the biscuit. Shove the whole penguin, definitely not a bird, in your gob. You could use a supermarket-owned brand, puffing bar, etc. Lots of love, Lisa, in a very rainy Derby. One of my most favourite messages that we've had, very concise. Knows what she's talking about. I enjoyed it, Lisa, immensely.

So you've got a nibble off a corner and then do the same to the corner diagonally opposite. But it's a rectangle, isn't it? Then you dip your penguin in the tea and suck the drink into the biscuit. You've lost me. I've got no idea what we're talking about now. Well, we've had another one from Haley. Oh, Nat, just had to message you.

Listening to you inette 157 and you're talking about dunking biscuits, well, my son gets a twix, normally the twix extra, bites off at either end and then uses it like a straw to drink the tea. After about a quarter of the tea's gone He will then eat the twicks Makes the caramel not so hard Loving the pod It's quite amazing

Isn't it? When you talk about something How many people get back to you I mean we've had one here from Caroline in Welling She said you may or may not know this Penguin Biscuits are bourbons covered in chocolate Did you know that? Does you not mean that Penguins are bourbon biscuits covered in chocolate.

Penguin biscuits are bourbons covered in chocolate. I'm so sorry. I thought you said it around the other way. That's completely my... I'm tired, sorry. That's all right. Are they? Apparently so.

They're similar. Yeah, granted. Apparently so. Yeah, fair enough. There is a similarity, I have to admit. You hit a nerve as well on the last pod. Not only did dunking biscuits go down well, we've got, hello, listening to scraping the barrel and cooking tea at the same time.

Look and read, where Mark got all excited. about through the dragon's eye I actually said out loud oh my god I love that my little boy just glared at me and rolled his eyes you guys really make me laugh because the arguments you have

about shopping and lists are exactly the same as me and my husband love the pod had a catch-up podcast day to day listening and cleaning Hannah from Sunny Luton that's lovely look and read

and Geordie Racer I had a few messages about that A lot actually Trying to find one Especially with Hang on Through the Dragon's Eye Yes Mark

She's spelled your name of a K But we'll let it go We watched that at school And I loved it To hear the music on the pod Sent me right back Amazing From Kim

That lovely Oh my God Yes Through the Dragon's Eye And Jordie Racer So memorable I'm 42 and I remember them so well nostalgia from scraping the barrel today

and there was also one called something like the boy from out of space ship me up. I used to try and be sick from school that day when I knew we were watching it because I hated it. It gave me the creep see if Mark remembers that one. Loving the pod. Joe from Ipswich by the way. Thank you Joe. Do you remember that?

I don't know that one Joe. I don't recall that but you're three or four years old with me so I'm not entirely sure. Oh, God. It's probably a different year group at school. But, yeah, through the dragon's eye, that was the one I remember. Listen to this.

Hey, Nat. Happy Friday. Thought I would message a hats interrupt, scraping the barrel, because Mark, hey Mark, was talking about Through the Dragon's Eye. And my goodness, that was a good flashback to early 1990s. but I, as a child, was so scared of the baddie in it, who was called Arna, I think. Oh, God, that really made me feel scared.

So anyway, enjoying the podcast. Hope you all have a great weekend. Bye. Oh. Yeah, well, I do remember that as well. I remember a girl with a Bob haircut. No, we know that, don't we? It's a bit like Charlotte's church digging the other night.

What do you mean? Well, you liked the girl, didn't you, with the Bob's haircut? Sorry. What's that got to do with Charlotte? I'm going to watch that traitors again. Honestly, how are you? I glanced over and you were transfixed. Why were you glancing over at me?

Because I saw what I was watching and I thought, I wonder what he's doing. And it's a meme today. Every woman in the country was watching it with her husband or partner or whatever girlfriend sat and thought, I'm just going to have a glance over to see how they're reacting. into it. Right.

It's classic. How's your week going anyway? Yeah, all right. Yeah? It's Monday. It's gone all right so far. I'm a seventh into it. I feel like I've just, because I've worked yesterday, I don't know what day it is.

Yeah, it's all right. Are you going to stop watching the laptop? No, honestly. This podcast, video recording thing is a nightmare. All right. Well, don't worry about it. We've got the audio. Nothing else matters.

Hopefully. Well, that's certainly there. It's on my card Trusted Tried and tested So we're all good Yeah There's been a major

Breakthrough today I'm going to play you These messages But it's amazing how things Come back Okay the weirdest thing that's just happened I've just come into Iceland With Joe

And out of nowhere She's never done this before I've known the girl for years Married to her Out of nowhere She's just started putting items Into her shopping bag as we're walking around the shop

and I've just questioned it and she goes yeah I'll take them out of the till and pay for them I out of nowhere so this is our NEO and she's with her wife shopping she can't believe it

I think it's important to say that she's not listened to this part she doesn't know about this debate she's not doing it to wind me up she's just doing it because she's a weirdo she should meet Mark what's easy listen to Joe though

because she's great She thinks it's totally normal, Natalie. No, because my point is, if I didn't put the stuff in the bag, I'd have to carry the bag in one hand and carry the basket in the other hand, and then I wouldn't have a hand free to put things in my basket. So I may as well put them straight in the bag. That's exactly. I'm not stealing them.

I'll take them out at the tail, okay? It makes no sense to have both hands full. Totally agree. Use of the weirdo, it's not me. I swear, I've not set her up for this. We have our very own scrape in the barrel in the middle of Iceland right now. It just happened out of nowhere. No, absolutely.

Absolutely. That is mad, though, isn't it? Considering Naomi listens from the beginning. That is funny, yeah. That's just happened and she can't believe it. Doesn't ever share the listening experience with that other half then? I don't think Joe's overly interested. No.

And Naomi loves it. I mean, Joe's probably fed up with her being so obsessed with it. Fair enough. Me again. This conversation is continuing. Joe jabbled a whole way around home bargain saying, this fella, Mark, sounds like he's very sensible. She knows what bargains is.

She's very normal, Joe. Anyway, so then now we've had a discussion. We've been voiced in Mel from Bridgend about this. And basically, it depends. So she's do it in any shop. She's got no shame. She'd do it in any shop. But, like, she would only think it,

she thinks it's acceptable for food or home items, but not clothes. So the example she gave was in Matalan, she wouldn't put clothes in a basket or, no, sorry, in a bag, in a bag, she wouldn't put clothes in a bag, but she would in the home section. Yeah. Discuss, that's very strange.

No, it's not strange at all because you wouldn't put clothes in a bag if they'd get all creased. But like if you were getting plates or sort of, they could go in your bag or like a towel or something, like home, but you won't put clothes in a bag. It's not always, though.

Oh, there you go. I really do want to discuss that. So would you put clothes into a bag and then pay out the till? I've got to say, I'm really sorry to say this but I've started doing Scanning Shop

I've done Scanning Shop about ten times. Well that's blown that at the water now. But would you put clothes in a bag and then take them out and pay for them? Yeah, if I've scanned them. No, forget the Scanning Shop. No, that's what I do now are Scan and Shop. Oh.

I give up. Would I put clothes in a bag? And then take them out and pay for them? The same as you do with food. No. Why not? Because I don't ever go into a clove shop with a shopping bag. I have never in my life had a shopping bag in my hand.

I've gone into a clove shop. When I go into a supermarket and I know I'm buying some products, I have a bag. So you don't take a shopper into a clove shop? I've never done that. Because I normally go in and I'm, buying a pair of jeans or a t-shirt or whatever it might be. Wow. When, you know, I had to go shopping for going on holiday, I didn't take a bag.

And then when I got to the till they said, we'd like a bag. And I said, just please, and they put it in the bag. But clothing's not the same. Clothing you can kind of carry around and you'll sort of want it on you, don't you? You don't really want loads of tins of beans and, you know, you can't, you can, sorry, that is a good answer to the question. Go on. I could have 10 items of clothing on one arm

Easily and walk around of it Easily When I'm putting my washing away I can walk about I've covered in clothing So I'm going to all the girls' wardrobes And I'm putting everything away in it You're doing stuff

When I was on washing Sorry I'm just saying you can hold lots of clothing On clothing items When you put all the girls washing away Yeah but I'm at home And I do with a washing You do not put clothes away

Yes I do I do I do I'm going to take a picture in a minute without a bedroom no that's an exceptional situation

it's all the time you never put any of your clothes away right you do a lot of things though but one thing you don't do unfortunately let's put your clothes away am I boring you sweetheart

a little bit you laughing at now is you're funny why is that Oh, I've caught your yawn. Isn't it awkward if you're on a train or a tube? So, really when you've caught my yawn? They're contagious, aren't they?

Oh, I thought you'd videoed it. No. Fine. But they're contagious. And isn't it weird and awkward if you catch a stranger's yawn? Have you ever done that on a train or a tube? No. I have.

Someone's opposite you. You don't know them, but they yawn, and then you're yawning, and it looks like you're copying them. Don't shut up. Why is that? Why do we do that? I don't know. There's a question.

Why do we yawn? The weirdest one is that walking down the road and you look over and someone's making eye contact with you and you've sensed it. That's really weird. I don't know how that happens. Isn't that just kind of a sixth sense? Maybe. Maybe like the hunt, you know, are you being hunted? Yes.

Hunter-gatherer sort of thing. Possibly. but the yawn thing doesn't make sense it's sort of communicating saying I'm tired and then you're reciprocating saying I'm tired but we're not speaking maybe that's what it is maybe it's left a hangover but is it something to do with

also you can laugh and make someone laugh by laughing can't you? Yes, infectious sort of yeah is it not that Maybe I mean infectious, by the way, not contagious. I said contagious, didn't I? Why, how do you phrase that question?

Why are yawns? Contagious. Are yawns con... Is it contagious or infectious? Here she is. Hi, darling. Love you, no night. See you in the morning.

Love you. I believe in 24-7. Oh. 25 plus 7. Bye, Eliza. Thanks for the kiss. Sorry. No kiss for me.

Pretty tired. That's all right, darling. You go to bed. I love you. Good night, darling. Good night. That is not allowed on the video. Eliza would not want that to be on screen.

Absolutely not. No, fine. Oh, now she's going to give me a kiss. as she knows that. Thank you. Nice perfume. No, it's skincare. It smells lovely.

Oh. It's not skincare. It's called dry shampoo. Oh. Oh. What's dry shampoo? It's shampoo that is dry. In a powder form.

It's shampoo and powder and you spray it on your hair. You don't have to wash it. It's quite a... Very good. Okay. Outstanding, actually. I live for the stuff. suggest that contagious yawning is like empathy?

Is that deliberate? No. The ability to understand and share others' feelings. People are most likely to catch yorns from friends and family than from strangers, hinting that it's part of how humans and even some animals sink up emotionally. I have got something that you two might find quite interesting. What's that? So I heard like a myth today.

me and Vitucia at school were talking about it and she said that her mum told her that when you yawn no sorry when you sneeze it means someone's thinking about you when you go to sneeze or you have the hiccups it means someone misses you okay and was that

I've heard that one but no is that a scientific explanation for that or do you think that might be a bit of I just said that I said it's a myth Is that like when your spine tingles, someone's walking over your grave? Exactly that. Yeah, that doesn't really work either because you're not in a grave, are you? Yeah, but it's your grave in the future. Yeah.

Or your past life. Right. Or your past life. Please run that by me. Daddy doesn't get stuff like this like me and you do? No. You just don't get it. Okay.

It's like deja vu, isn't it? Because we've all been here before. It's quite weird. Deja vu is very odd. So I did the, Commonwealth service in Westminster Abbey and I was

stood on the great the tombstone of Isaac Newton yes who was next to Stephen Hawking and I was on a camera and I mean it wasn't and it feels really disrespectful but I was on their stone yes

I mean I'm just thinking they if they're in a new life now must have been a bit of a right imagine a ped getting wheeled over you Yeah, I bet they had the flu. Yeah. Just thought of that. It is quite disrespectful, but the graves are everywhere there, aren't they?

So it's not your fault? No, that, isn't it good? It's brilliant. And it actually looks like you. And now you know what to get Mommy for a birthday. I mean, who has done that? Amelia, who's 10? Turn it over.

To Natalie, thanks for being an inspiration. Love Amelia, age 10, Basing Stoke. I did just read this out at the beginning of the pod. Were you not listening? I listened to... I showed you the picture and I read out the back. Oh, I didn't need the back.

It's crazy stuff. He's in a very funny mood at the minute. Right. To be fair, you are as well. Thank you. I couldn't they all are. That is brilliant. It's good though, isn't it?

It's the eyelashes. They're so accurate. Well, I mean, to be fair... It's everything about it. it on the wall. It's literally the same technique for the eyelashes as mummy actually uses for her eyelashes. Yeah, that's why I said it. It's really why we can make this like the broom cupboard.

Yeah. Hell. Could we hang them? Maybe, yeah. Oh, I see what you're thinking. What do you mean? And I could have all my cards and thank you notes and things in the back. What, just flying around in the room? Yeah. Why don't you get some invisible string and put some string and blue tack on the scene? and then you have all your pictures hanging down.

That's a really good idea. And I could have my thank you cards and all my things. Yeah. I mean, on a podcast, it's just what you need. Brilliant. No, for the videos. Nice, isn't it? Yeah, we better wait to we get a computer that's quick enough to do the video.

Yeah. That's helpful. Wow. Are they cherry liqueurs? They are. Someone brought me them bringing them out already. I'm not opening them. Are you joking?

Bhr! You can't get the cherry liqueers out. I'm not open. them, that is diabolical. Refillable light up candle. I got a bottle of sunset, cherry liqueurs, a candle. Do you know what? I don't know. I'm absolutely. Do you know what I saw earlier, I'm going to have to show you.

I saw a TikTok, it was brilliant, and it was like the grown-up version. Was it about Charlotte Church? Why are you obsessed with Charlotte Church? I'm not. Weird. I'm not upset. You know, when we're watching the traces you ever, you know, when she's digging. Yeah.

And you can see her whole breast. Have you seen the meme today? I have seen the meme today. Where it's like, all girlfriends look around at their partners. Yeah. And let's be honest. It's the truth. They were fully out.

I mean, there's some cracking knockers. They are. Anyway, so I saw this TikTok and it was saying, it was like the adult version of a Smith's catalogue, and it was like an MNS food magazine. very good and it was the sound more than a feeling

I'm going to show you it's brilliant I've reposted it it's really good trying to find the meme but I can't find out I'm just going to say I'm just going to say

dear net a little something to enjoy while you're not recording thank you for the laughs honesty and company love Kirstie and I have to say

thank you because she's bought me lots of MNS gifts and it means a lot and it isn't necessary and I cannot wait to light my candles eat my liqueurs

and drink my wife That is so cute. What's the hat? Brilliant. Diddley Squat Farm. What's Didley Scott Farm? You need to watch Clarkson's Farm, darling. Give it to me. Oh, it's a Clarkson's Farm thing? Yeah. Oh, I love Clarkson's Farm. Right, off you go. Bye-bye now. Bye, gang. Love you. 725 in the morning. No, you said 720. 725 we need to leave the house. Brilliant. Gives me five minutes extra in bed. Thank you. Close the door, please.

She's in a good mood at the moment. Yeah, I'm very perturbed on his chair creaking. How would that happen to this? I don't know. Give it a little twist or something. You've done it before, you'll do it again. Oh, don't do it now. No, it's annoying. I just want tightening up.

Yeah. What was that? Fly. Do you like some Maxibon messages? Yes, please. My Maxibon Benadorn journey. Red Velvet was 8 out of 10. Classic 10 out of 10.

I didn't get around as many as I wanted, but I enjoyed what I had. I did have the Oreo Cone one, and it was a disastrous zero out of 10. Yuck. There's a lot of people doing a lot of homework for you when they're away on holiday. I hope you appreciate it. That was from Mel. Mel who? Mel, podcast chat.

Oh. That's what she's under. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hang on. Hi, Natalie. I'm just catching up with a podcast after being in Spain last week. I had never heard of Maxibon ice creams until I heard you and Mark talking about his love for them.

Anyway, I had to try every flavour I came across whilst away and got my husband and daughter eating them too. Who knew there were so many yummy flavours that I can't get now I'm home? Can you please ask Mark if there are any flavours I've missed, red velvet cookies, waffled blonde caramel and original? I've only ever had the original. people think you're a pro I'm not I don't eat that many ice creams as I've said

You shouldn't say that Well okay I do I do like an ice cream But I don't But and I love Maxi Bonds I just wish you could still get a Maxi Bonds I know The Maxi Chockey's excellent

I need to get that's ordered In fact there was a voice note from Tim No Tim said he's ready I've got to see if there's a car park space For him at Clapham Right Okay Obviously quite a large car park space

for the coach Yeah So if I can work that out He's going to come With the fridge Yeah So I'm a bit of an extreme move on it To, you know

I just don't know If they'll be parking for him Quite frankly But I'm going to have a go I'll see if I can get him a space I mean it's a sneaky way Of getting a parking space Around the back of the theatre

Yeah He's doing well there Yes Have you got one By a theatre Probably not No I'm going to get a cab Why okay

We'll all have cab there. Why? Because we need to talk about what we're doing on the day. But yeah. That's probably a good shout. I would imagine.

Maybe we could do that sooner. We will do, but I think on the day we need to be together in the cab and having a good chat about stuff. We'll be going early there as well, very early. I thought that Elya and Maria

could do a bit of unicycling. If you've got on a unicycle each and maybe a bit juggling if they had a practice. I'm not sure if Elsie's even. we're going to do the shows. Okay. She's not sure yet, and I'm not going to push her into it. Okay.

She might sit in the front row and do a bit of heckling. Oh, I bet she would. She might get up if she feels like it, but I don't want anyone to feel any pressure. I mean, it will be no different to being around her mum's house. Yeah. On Christmas, in terms of having to, you know, speak in front of about a million people. That's true. I mean, honestly, I mean, and to be fair, most of the people around Linda's on a, on a,

at Christmas, we'll be in the audience by the sounds of things. Fingers crossed. So maybe she's reconsider that, perhaps. Maybe. Maybe. We shall see. It's exciting, though, isn't it? We've got our first one next week.

Have we? Not you. No, you're at work, but myself, Tony and Ro Roe, I've got a little gig in Islington. Yeah. All about nostalgia, very small one, just an hour. But really looking forward to it. and I think it will give them a little taste for what it will be like. It'll be really, really intimate and small.

With no interval, more of a real chat. But I think it'll be good fun. Is it sold out at that? Roe was talking to me about this and she said, how many ticket sells? And I have to be honest with you, I haven't really asked. Right. Is that bad?

It doesn't matter to me. If there's 10 people or 100 people, I want to do the same thing. Yeah. And I do think that's how you should look at things. Fair enough I've done a theatre show before To have packed out Bromley Or the Lowry in Manchester's like 2,000 people

Or done one in the arse end of wherever On a Thursday matinee With eight people snoring You still perform it the same Yeah, fair enough Sort of irrelevant Yeah I don't

I mean I'm just looking forward is saying some sort of structure to it all. Yeah, it's all written down. Yeah. Yeah. In the next couple of weeks, I'm going to start asking people, right, who's coming to Crawley?

Who's coming to Luton? And I'm going to start giving out a few questions and a few stories. For instance, whoever's coming to South End to the Dixon studio, I think it'd be quite nice to have a few saucy postcards to read out so Tony can read them out. Okay, you've slightly lost me there. Sourcy, because of, because of the beach, we're in South End, aren't we? Yeah.

So we were thinking sort of postcards. This was actually Emma's idea. But sort of, if people can write a little postcard, which is a bit naughty, a bit funny, a bit saucy. And then Tony can read out a couple of saucy postcards from the coast. I thought it might be quite funny. Also, face, is it Vicky with her mint pie? Yeah. Should be good at writing those.

those postcards, wouldn't she? Possibly. So, yeah, if anyone does want to write me a little saucy postcard or a little tale, funny tale, which we can put on a little postcard when we're in South End and get Tony to read a few out,

a little dilemma, a funny story, a few double entendres or entorns, as Mark said earlier. Well, I didn't know what it was. I can't remember what it is. You're full of the joys of spring tonight, aren't you? Yeah. Full of it.

I'm absolutely nothing. What are you going to do in the show? I don't have absolutely no idea. I'm just sitting here now thinking what is the point of me being there? Well, you're going to have an iPad or a laptop. Okay, brilliant. And you'll be getting messages through. Right.

From the audience. What if there's no phone reception? Did you hear that? I did hear that. Was that a fly? Bastard. What is it? It's a fly.

What kind of fly? I don't know, but it's a bit red. Last night, when I was on the phone to Adam, I walked out of the kitchen, you know the cupboard with our boiler? Yeah. A black, just a black silhouette was crawling along the floor. And I'm not joking, it was like that diameter,

like a digestive diameter. And it went straight under the door where the water softener is. Get that in your coffee. It was huge Let me get that in your coffee It was the size of a digestive I'm just throwing it back to the biscuit chat You've got to link stuff up

You've got to link up things But it comes to me very quickly Bang bang bang It's like watching like a genius It's like a computer processor Forget AI All right Anyway what did you do

Why are you wearing a dressing gown by the way It's 20 to 11 at night I'm going to bed in a minute Okay Just looking at it Suddenly realised you're wearing a Lucy Benjamin brought me this for my birthday All right

It's a lovely, lovely gift Is it a dressing gown? Tears, yeah Yeah It's rather marvellous actually Sort of a green Yeah Yeah, I love it

It's kind of a dressy dressing gown Yeah I feel like it's acceptable for the podrome It's very weird because this morning Joni was very keen on her fairy dressing gown

correct and she asked me to take a photo of her in her dressing gown and send it to Carol who bought it for her and I said to Carol she's really keen on the dressing gown and she was, you know

genuinely said send it to Carol yeah she does love her dressing gowns yeah Not the same as a house coat though What is a housecoat What dockarton used to wear in the laundrette The blue thing with buttons on Oh right

People say a housecoat is a dressing gown Even online it says a housecoat is a dressing gown It isn't A housecoat doesn't have a belt I see It has buttons Or a zip Right

Have you not seen my housecoat that I got given No You didn't see my Instagram post Where I put it up online When was this? A week ago No Yeah

Someone bought me one Oh I've been showered with gifts It feels like my birthday It's very odd Yeah I've got some things for you here For the car

Do you want those I could have had those When we started recording this No not You can't eat on the podcast No. None right for Percy Pig, thanks. You did say you wanted something sweet.

Sorry, I forgot I had those in there. Okay. What else have you got in there for me? I mean, those Percy Pigs weren't for Mettie, obviously, would I am? These were actually for you. What are they? Skittles. Someone gave me those at Thurrock Lakeside and said,

they're for Mark. No joking. Right. Whoever's listening, I can't remember your name, I'm sorry She said, here, I have these And I said, I'm not really having got a sweet too She went, well Mark will have them She threw them at me

So there you go Oh Sorry Terrible reflexes I've actually got quite good reflexes Sorry, what was that face for? What did that mean? I don't know

I don't even get what you're doing there Let me do it again No, that was You just Throw them at me Which is what you just did No I did throw them

You threw them at me I did throw them Yeah Right then This chair is really annoying me Right I'm going That's enough We've got through biscuits

We've got through Maxibon There was lots of chat about your show The Nostalgia stuff We need to do a whole nostalgia episode. I can do that. People really, really love a bit of nostalgia and I think we should do

our... Bamboozal, Teletech, C-Facts. Well, we did a bit of that, didn't we? But can't go over the same things, darling. No, I'm just reliving some... Which you enjoy to do. Reliving some...

Thank you. We're just reliving some classics. Yeah. What about Bertha? You have mentioned Bertha. Maybe we could have a little thing about... What about Sharky and George? You want to mention Sharky and George?

No. That was on really early. in the morning on ITV, I think, really early. In fact, I used to go downstairs and put that on, and my brother and sister had joined me. And that was the day, I remember, I really vividly remember watching Sharkey and George, and he suddenly got taken off air, a guy comes on.

What did George do? Well, it wasn't his fault. Then newsreader comes on, breaking news, Princess Diana's died. And I remember watching that as a kid. and then going upstairs and making my mum up and saying Princess Dinah's died

and she was like no she hasn't you know went downstairs to watch the telly and it was you know 1st of September I believe I don't know but we were watching the telly

the early hours of the morning I think we've had this conversation I was with my friend Zara Blythe and I remember my mum crying right putting the news on very sad awful yeah I think we had this conversation watching The Crown?

I think it's been on the pod, but... Possibly. Or let no, let us know. What, the archive? Yes. Yeah. Right, I've got to go to Oswestry tomorrow. Oh, are we sure that's how you pronounce it?

No. Where is it? Shropshire on the border of Wales. Okay. I bet that's a nice place. It's a good... It's meant to be really lovely. said it's steeped in history.

Is it? Yeah, I've not... She's been looking up, looking it up, and she said the book shop is also famous. Hang on, you're going there tomorrow? It's an old railway town. Right. Yes.

You're going there tomorrow? Yes. Oh. I'm staying overnight. I had no idea. I've said it 15 times. So you're not at home tomorrow? No, why is your mum coming, babe?

I can remember what day she was coming. Oh, so I've got a night to myself tomorrow. You have? Have a good look Back at the train I guess I'd be BBC

I plan I bet that gets removed What the shot I bet Well if I was Charlotte I have to say I might be a bit annoyed about it Okay

I don't know genuinely I might think Oh, that's unnecessary. All right. They've left that in, haven't they? I don't know. I don't think.

I think, I am actually quite disappointed. I think you've got quite a funny mind there. Okay. I think you have. I am not having a go. I mean, I didn't, we didn't even, it's not like we even mentioned it. I didn't need to.

I just heard a little look. That's all I needed to do. It isn't. But you've not mentioned it. There's no need to. It's not your fault. It's shoved in front of your face. Of course you can have a look at it.

Jesus. But you've not mentioned it though. Why am I going to mention it? To be honest, I only thought of it again because it was so funny this meme. I don't remember. And it was, you know, everyone in the country on the sofa when Charlotte Church was digging and then there's just this woman sort of like looking at her husband. It's very good, very funny.

And that's what sparked it. I've not thought of it. since. I don't remember that happening. No. The first episode of The Traitors. Shut up. I've been serious.

When was it? Yes, the first one. They were digging their graves. Definitely the first. Yeah. We've got that recorded, I think. We have, yeah. Series linked.

When's the next episode out? Wednesday. Excellent. I am looking forward to it. It is brilliant. I don't think I've watched the second episode yet. Not all of it. No.

I mean, the funniest image from the whole thing is Alan and his cloak. Yes. It is hilarious. Brilliant. Excellent. Well, I look forward to watching a bit more of the traitors. Best program on telly. Yeah.

Oh, Studio Lambo. Come up with that, I wonder. What a great thing. I don't know I had heard about it Someone was talking about it recently I think it was done In another country or something

Oh really I think so Unless I'm getting that confused With something else Possibly something else I don't know I don't have a clue what I'm talking about As usual

Never know I'll have a clue what I'm talking about Tired Really tired actually Well should we go then Yes All right Thank you all for listening. I hope you have a fabulous weekend. Thank you for buying my book. Thank you for all your

pictures. You've sent me your iPads with the audio book on it, your radios in the car with the audio book on it, or your screens or whatever. All your books coming through the post and you're waiting for Amazon deliveries or going to your bookshop. It is much appreciated and I do hope you've enjoyed it or are still enjoying it. I will talk to you on Monday. 07788, 2019-19. Thank you for listening, as ever. And we will talk to you very soon. I love you, darling.

Love you, too. See you later. Bye. Bye.