Life with Nat - EP164: Tony talks #14 - Getting things done!

Episode Date: October 22, 2025

Nat and Tony are starting new projects, but are they finishing them? Enjoy! xx Please subscribe, follow, and leave a review. xxx You can find us in all places here; ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠�...��⁠https://podfollow.com/lifewithnat/view⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ We're on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/lifewithnatpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Nat's insta: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@natcass1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Neice's insta: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@natsnieces⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Tony's insta: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@tonycass68⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Linny's insta: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@auntielinny.lwn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ THE BIG CHRISTMAS LIVE SHOW 7th December ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- claphamgrand.com/event/live-with-nat-at-christmas/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The tiny warm-up shows 22nd Oct - The Bill Murray, Islington -⁠⁠ https://www.angelcomedy.co.uk/event-detail/live-with-nat-work-in-progress-wed-22nd-oct-the-bill-murray-london-tickets-202510221830/⁠⁠ 4th Nov - Dixon Studio, Palace Theatre, Southend - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.trafalgartickets.com/palace-theatre-southend/en-GB/event/other/live-with-nat-work-in-progress-tickets⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 6th Nov - Hat Factory, Luton - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.culturetrust.com/whats-on/live-nat-work-progress⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 16th Nov - Hawth Studio, The Hawth Theatre, Crawley - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.parkwoodtheatres.co.uk/the-hawth/whats-on/live-with-nat-work-in-progress⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Book Club: October's Book is Happy Days by Natalie Cassidy (obvs we have to get behind our gal!!) ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://harpercollins.co.uk/products/happy-days-natalie-cassidy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Get reading, all reviews welcome. We're also accepting suggestions for a Christmassy thriller fiction for November Nat’s solo chats - any rants always welcome!  Scraping the Barrel - SCAN AND SHOP VIRGIN NO LONGER! Marc’s still adamant that days old salad from a takeaway is an ideal packed lunch - what’s the maddest thing you’ve pack for lunch? Bonce vs list! - Are you a list maker? Always collecting for Nostalgia Fest! What’s brewing with the Nieces - are we all skipping the end of summer, all of autumn and going straight to Christmas - Nat’s door is! Group chat ettiquette & pranks. Nice Lorraines… get in touch! Things we’re nagging with Linny about - More lateness stories and some cleaning questions, please! The Tony talks chatter - Keep your DIY questions coming, also open to some saucy two paragraph stories for Tony to read out at the Southend show - think cheeky postcards (both in tone and length)! Can we make Tony an influencer and get him any freebies?  TBC Cultural differences ep - inspired by Linny’s Mediterranean heritage and her & Ellia's Italian trip, we'd love to hear about the cultural differences you've noticed between the UK and basically ANYWHERE else!  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hello@keepitlightmedia.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:42 Tonight I am joined by my brother, Tony, of Tony Talks. How are you? I'm very well, how are you? Yeah, yeah, good, all right. Good? Yeah. It's been a... Busy week?
Starting point is 00:01:54 Just a busy couple of weeks, really. Yeah. It all kicked off with the Chris Evans Breakfast Show. Yes. Well, I did listen to that. And you text me out. It was a very good, it was a great interview, yeah. I always think about how lucky I am
Starting point is 00:02:07 because I always get the odd text from you, which is sort of well done on that. That was really good. And it really means a lot to me. That's good. It really does, yeah. So I thought we could have a chat actually because now my book tour's winding up,
Starting point is 00:02:22 is coming to an end. Right, yeah, yeah. And I always sort of feel a little bit underwhelmed, if you like. Yeah. It's that sort of feeling that you have so much to do and so much to do and all this running around. And I end up going, oh, what was all that for? Yeah, okay, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:43 So I thought it would be nice, and I chucked it out earlier, to our lovely listeners who have come back with, obviously, the barrage of messages. Yes, loads of messages. So many. Yeah, it's brilliant. Yeah, it's brilliant. But just how we handle projects.
Starting point is 00:03:00 Be it a book or baking a birthday cake, thinking about what to do, the steps you need to take, renovating in a house. You know, whatever it is, how do we deal with it? And I just wanted to talk to you. You did a degree when you were younger, you know.
Starting point is 00:03:17 Yeah, I think you've got to take a step back from that and you've got to look at the person you are to start with. Yeah. So what I've always thought and found is that there are certain people that I've achieved, Whether you like it or not, there are people that are achievers and they're always looking for the next hit of achievement. There are some people that are just very happy to just bob along.
Starting point is 00:03:45 Yep. And they never feel any emotion about achieving or not achieving. So I think the sort of person you are is a huge part of the question that you're asking. Interesting. Yeah, it does, yeah. So when I did my degree, it was part-time, the last year of my degree, I never, I probably worked seven days a week, you know, because I was working full-time as well.
Starting point is 00:04:15 And when I finished my degree, got my results. Which were very good, weren't I? Which were good, yeah, because I'd worked very hard. One of the guys I went to university with, it was all part-time, it wasn't university, People know it now. It was, I went for 12 hours on a Thursday and then done 25 hours extra work over the evenings and weekends. That's how we did it. He had a party at his house.
Starting point is 00:04:41 We went to this party and about two or three days later, I just felt sick. I was nauseous. And I was like that for six months. No. And six months, I was going back to the forest the doctor with nausea. And they were giving me sea sickness tablets. They were giving me travel pills. And in the end, I said to look, I need to go and see someone.
Starting point is 00:05:07 I didn't have medical insurance. She said, well, okay, well, I'll send you to this guy in Harley Street. And he was a lovely man, and I walked in. And he just sat me down and said, so what's wrong? I said, well, I've had this sickness and nauseous problem for six months, and I don't know what it is. And he said, well, tell me about yourself and what you've been doing. Have we spoke about this?
Starting point is 00:05:28 Possibly, long time ago, yeah. And he basically said, if you're an achiever and you work towards a goal, he said your body is all, it's completely geared up for achieving that goal. He said, and if you've got nothing after it, he said you just fall off a cliff. Literally, he said, just like falling off a cliff.
Starting point is 00:05:52 He said, and your body just completely, it goes haywire, it doesn't know what, to do because you've spent the last year gearing up totally focused on this thing that you're doing and then all of a sudden it's gone, it's finished. Yeah, it's gone. And it's like falling off a cliff. That's how I feel.
Starting point is 00:06:09 Exactly. That's a little bit of how I feel. Yeah, and so unfortunately he said people like you, you need to try and learn, teach yourself that you've got to moderate a little bit. You've got to not try and be perfect all the time. You've not got to be 100% all the time. You've got to try and moderate.
Starting point is 00:06:30 And you've also got to make sure that you've got something in place after you finish that particular task that you're doing. And he was right, because after I spoke to him a couple more months and it just sort of slowly went. Yeah. Just slowly went away. And I do feel all right because we've got all of the live shows coming up. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:06:46 So it's only been a day or two where I felt like, oh. Yeah, but I can understand where you're coming from. It's that anti-climax, isn't it? So you've done all that. but then there's just a little bit of an anti-climax because you've done it, you've finished it, and you think, oh, I'm not, you know, what am I going to do next? Yeah, it's just a funny, and I think you can label that to anything. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:08 As I say, the reason I say birthday cake is people spend ages to think I've got to buy the ingredients. I'm going to cook my son this cake, baking my cake, and they do the pattern and the design, and they go to Hobbycraft, they bowl the bits, and then once it's over, that highlight of that, That week's gone, isn't it? Yes. So it doesn't matter a big or small, whether you're doing a book, baking a cake, or you've got a task of putting up free pictures. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:36 It's, once it's done, do you feel really proud and pleased? I feel really pleased with the people I've met. And it is all about for me the people I've met. Yeah. It's been amazing to talk to people to get people together, people who listen to the pod. I've met loads of people who listen. Look at that down there.
Starting point is 00:07:57 Wow. That's gifts from people. That's amazing, yeah. I'll show you later. It's amazing. Yeah. But yes, I just... Sorry to interrupt, but are we talking about two different things?
Starting point is 00:08:09 This is the thing. So there are certain things that you're striving to achieve, right? So, like your book, you've had to strive to achieve writing it, getting it published, getting it out there. Yeah. And I can understand when you're doing that huge task that you feel a sense of underwhelment once it's done, maybe.
Starting point is 00:08:40 But some of the other stuff we're talking about is are we talking about inertia or just being able to get your bum off the seat and go and do stuff? Do you see what I mean? It's almost like two different things. It's sort of... It is.
Starting point is 00:08:54 It is. Like if you've got a huge thing, sorry, but it's like people getting married, you know. They get married and the amount of people I've know in the past and they get married and they literally, they go on honeymoon and for three days they just sit there a bit numb. Yes. Because they've spent a year planning this thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all over. And that's it.
Starting point is 00:09:16 And then they just think, what was all that? I'm not quite sure what it was about. Why did we do it? It was good, was it good? You know, it's all this sort of. Yes. So, like, big, huge life events like that or achievements that you've done, I think, is different
Starting point is 00:09:31 to if you've got to do something and get it done, if that makes sense. Yeah. I mean, I'm psychoanalyze. I haven't got a clue what I'm talking about, but you just... It sounds fucking great. Well, you know, as ever. Apparently. Now I am talking to you about it.
Starting point is 00:09:52 This is why I love the pod. But there is another thing. I'm not meeting loads of people every day, which I've really enjoyed doing. Right, yeah. So actually, is it got anything to do with the book? Or is it that I'm missing the events, the signings, chatting to people, which I really enjoyed?
Starting point is 00:10:14 I would say it probably is. I would say, because again, I think they're two completely different things. Yeah. So you've produced this work of literary, wonderment if you want to call it that so that's that's been done that's produced but you've then had to go out and publicise it which again is completely different you're talking about two completely different things you're not completely different the book is there it's done it's packed up it's in the warehouses it's being shipped out to whoever wants to buy it etc etc but what you've
Starting point is 00:10:47 then done is you've done a little tour that's really personal and you've met people that have given you pictures and cards and presents and told you how important you are in their life and all the rest of it. And I think that's probably what you're going to miss. Not so much the fact it's the book. It could have been anything. It could have been, you know. I think you're right.
Starting point is 00:11:11 And that's the anti-climax. Yeah. Because you've gone out and you've done these signings. You've done this, the little tour. You've met people. You know, your adrenaline's been pumping. you know you've all that good stuff and then all of a sudden you've fallen off the cliff a little bit yeah which i think is what's probably happened then again am i just a real arse off
Starting point is 00:11:35 for just wanting people to tell me i'm brilliant no i think everybody wants to be told they're brilliant no i'm joking no it isn't that it's people who come up to me and say i've watched you from when you're a little yeah yeah it's so nice to meet you i love the pod it's change me life, you know. Yeah, but the thing is what you're talking about is the sort of thing that most people don't do. Most people in your position don't go and meet people on face-to-face. Do they? Well, yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:12:09 I don't think they do. I don't think they do. I don't think they, some people might do some personal appearances and stuff like that, but they don't sit and talk to, you know, Joan from Harlow or what. Well, I message them all. Yeah, exactly, yeah. So I think that's slightly, again, I think you're slightly different. I think you've got such a personal connection
Starting point is 00:12:28 with the people that come to see you. There isn't that barrier, is there? No, there isn't no barrier. That is the difference. That's the difference. It is a huge thing. And therefore you become invested in them as much as they're invested in you. That is true.
Starting point is 00:12:41 And I remember people. That sounds good, doesn't it? That sounds quite good that, what you've said. Go on. Go on. You become as invested in them as they become as invested in you. Could we do an hour? like that?
Starting point is 00:12:53 Probably. I'm sure there's something there. I don't know what... I like it, though. Yeah, it's all right. I just come up with that. It's all right. It's really good.
Starting point is 00:13:01 Yeah, thanks. But you're right. Maggie, shout out to Maggie, who came to the book tour in where. Then I saw her in Marksies in Hartford, and she didn't say hello, but she messaged me a minute. It was really weird.
Starting point is 00:13:16 I saw you today. And then I saw her in Brookfield two days later, which went, I've seen you three times in one week. I'm not stalking you. But she sort of had a bit of a tear in her eye, and she held my hand, and she said, you're really special. And she said, if I'd have had a daughter, I would have just loved a daughter like you. And she got a bit emotional.
Starting point is 00:13:36 And I do find it really strange. The relationships, people really feel this sort of affinity towards me. They do. I think you've got to be a little bit careful, because before you know it, They're going to be knocking on the door expecting to have breakfast with you or Sunday dinner. I know. Got to be a little bit careful.
Starting point is 00:13:58 I know. Because some people don't know where to draw the line in terms of, you know, perceived friendship. That is true. But you can meet friends. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm not saying you can't, but equally. No, you do have to be careful.
Starting point is 00:14:17 You might just have to be a little bit careful, yeah. Bianca's come back to me from the pub It's all right Is it okay? She said it's okay She's around tomorrow morning Excellent For the listener
Starting point is 00:14:30 Mark's 40th this week And I forgot to go to the pub And talk about the food So I need to do that tomorrow That's all right, isn't it? Yeah, I'm not worried about the food anyway There'll be plenty of booze So that'll be all right
Starting point is 00:14:45 Great I'll be fit in my kitchen The following morning It'll all be pissed All the units will be wonky few people asking little update how's it all going yeah yeah it's um well what stage am i at now yeah i'm plastered i'm just started to do some painting and kitchen units are due for delivery next week from DIY kitchens who we got in touch with and who completely ignored us they did ignore us
Starting point is 00:15:13 which i thought was bad show to not even reply well i didn't say can i have a kitchen for free no no no we just talked about a little collaboration. Yeah, we did. Just a little collaboration. Would they be interested in, you know, me doing a little something, telling people about their products? Problem is now, Tome.
Starting point is 00:15:32 You've done it now. And that is now an advert for them. I know. Yeah, I know. But if it's, if what turns up is a load of old shit, then I'm going to tell everyone. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:15:42 Impartial. Impartial. You know, I've got no, you know, I've got no reason to, to gloss over issues, as they say. So if it turns up and it's a load of rubbish, then I'll be telling everybody basically. So watch out.
Starting point is 00:16:00 Watch out DIY kitchens. Oh, don't. We've got a message here from Yvonne, from Ireland. Oh, excellent. She said, hi, Nat and Tony. I like a project, but once I've made my mind up, I like to do it, start to finish as soon as I can. My partner seems to live by the motto,
Starting point is 00:16:22 never do today what can be put off until tomorrow, which is very frustrating. That is frustrating. But I can understand it. It's a bloke thing sometimes. Yeah. So it just is. It's very hard to be self-motivated, you know.
Starting point is 00:16:34 And some blocs are just, they just, oh, I'll do it tomorrow, do it tomorrow. I think that's the case of women as well, human beings. I think we're different. Yeah, maybe, yeah. Yeah, I just know loads of bloats that don't like doing stuff indoors, that's all. No, fair enough. I'm very lucky. I've got one who does.
Starting point is 00:16:51 I know, I know. A question for Tony. Paint that was done around five years ago in a bedroom now has large bubbles. Right, okay. What causes this? Love the pod and I'm a Tony's voice fan, so can't wait to hear this one.
Starting point is 00:17:07 Oh, that's very nice. Happy podding. Thank you, Yvonne. What's that then, bubbles on the paint? Oh, dear, there's probably a few different possibilities with that. Demp? It could be damp. It's difficult to know because you don't.
Starting point is 00:17:19 don't know what the room is and what it is, it can be, if it was a newly plastered room, if you've used the wrong paint to seal the plaster, like me personally, I'll get a little bit technical now, but if I've got a newly plastered room, so my kitchen's newly plastered, I don't, you have to put a miscoat on it, what they call a miscoat, which is almost like you get, but the paint you get, you water it down like it's like milk. So it's quite difficult. to use it goes everywhere you get covered in it but the idea is is that you put on a very very thinned out water thinned out coat first right and that binds to the plaster and then you can then put subsequent four coats of paint on without it peeling off and stuff right okay so it could be
Starting point is 00:18:08 that um if it was a newly plastered room they've used a paint with a vinyl in it or i like to use a non-vinyl emulsion to do my miscoating. So something like a Dulux super mat, something like that. Because anything with vinyl in it, although it gives you quite a nice finish, it can stop the first coat from binding to the plaster. So it might be that they've used the wrong, not used the wrong, but they've used a paint that hasn't taken to the plaster that's caused bubbling. Right, okay.
Starting point is 00:18:38 It could be that they're in a particularly damp atmosphere. Island is like that, but it's only one room. it could be there's some damp on the wall that's caused it to bubble that's another possibility so I think without knowing what the wall is and where it is you can't really
Starting point is 00:18:56 but what you can do what I would suggest is is that when they re-decorate they scrape it all off and then there's a company called ZINSA Z-Z-I-N-W-S-E-R quite a famous American paint company and they do all sorts of products
Starting point is 00:19:09 for stabilising problem paint like stuff that's peeled stuff that's bubbled they do a i think they do one called zinzer guards or they do a pill stop they do go on their website and they do lots of products for problem basically for problem sort of painting situations i love your knowledge well you just come out with i sorry i do need to i do need to know this stuff no i know but you don't you don't have to look for it you've got it all in there yeah yeah so i'm quite old that's why that's very good
Starting point is 00:19:43 Hi, Nat and Tony. I'm really excited about seeing you guys in Clapham in December. It's going to start my Christmas season off with a bang, no doubt. I'm bringing my daughter. She hasn't listened to the pod, but I'm hoping to kind of get her involved, and I think she'll love it. Talking about starting new projects and stuff, I am actually doing a genealogy course.
Starting point is 00:20:12 so I am starting a massive project on hopefully looking at people's family trees and I decided to do that kind of the professional way so I'm doing an actual course I've been doing it for years myself but I thought a course would be a good way like a bit of education to set myself up on the right path rather not the wrong path the right path the right path so yeah loving you guys loving the pod see you soon brilliant can't wait to see you in clapham yes it's nice isn't it to have a project what do you think about family trees well it's something i've always wanted i'm a little bit obsessed with ours because ours is so rich and varied and sorry what was that caller's name hi nat and tony i'm really i'm
Starting point is 00:21:11 really excited about seeing you guys. I don't think we've got it. My apologies. No, that's fine. My apologies. So I think with what that young lady is doing, she's been doing it for a long time, but she's doing a course.
Starting point is 00:21:24 That's all about validation. So if you've done a course and you can say I've done this, and I've passed this test or whatever, then you get validated and you'll see more of an expert than if you were just doing it sort of... In your spare time, hobby, yeah. But for me, I mean, years ago when it first came out, you know, ancestry and all that stuff came on the telly.
Starting point is 00:21:47 I did sign up for a free thing and thought, I'm going to look at our family show and I gave up after 10 minutes because it's impossible. Right. It's impossible. It's so difficult to try and find anything out about anybody. They make it sound really simple. You go through a census and you find your people that are related to you. And it's not quite as easy as that. But I've always been very interested in that.
Starting point is 00:22:10 family tree because we are a complete mishmash of immigration basically we've got french irish um there's i think there's we've also got some welsh somewhere italian italian on any doll's side um french irish italian welsh on the drawer side there's also that's french obviously the roy that was french so so we've got a lot of influences in our family you You know, we can't trace ourselves back to Cornwall in 1276 or whatever it is. I mean, we've got a bit of everything from everywhere, basically. I think there might be a bit of Spanish in there somewhere as well. So I've always been really interested in it.
Starting point is 00:22:53 And one of the best things that we got, like I found out, was when you did, who do you think you are for the Armist to stay special. That's right. And we found out where we came from in Ireland, which was really... Don of Raw, isn't it? Yeah, which is really special for me to know... I knew Cassidy was a northern Irish name because I went fishing years ago
Starting point is 00:23:13 on the borders of North and Southern Ireland and the skill in all that sort of area, the cavern, all the Lakeland area. And there's actually a village called Bally Cassidy, which is right on the border. But we're from Donagall. Up on the, as you look at the Irish map, we're sort of top left. And I met Adrian Dunbar.
Starting point is 00:23:34 Ah, was that last week? That was Sunday brunch. Yes, I was watching you, yeah. Oh, and he loved what a lovely man. Exactly the person you would like him to be. Oh, I just look at it before I'd love to go out for a drink with you. I sat there and I went, I'd just want to go to the pub. Yeah, we just let's just go to the pub, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:49 And I just want to hear your stories. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which was quite funny because I said, I've really wanted to come to the pub with you. Maybe when I come to Ireland, he went, well, it's all right, because I live in North London. So I said, oh, right, sorry. Anyway, he was really, really lovely. And we had these boards.
Starting point is 00:24:05 I don't know if you saw it, but we did this little game. where we had to write down a year Oh, right, okay. And we were a bit naughty me and Adrian because we were writing each other notes. So I put, my ancestors are from Dodd-Graw. And then he wrote, with a name like Cassidy, I betcha, like we'll do these notes.
Starting point is 00:24:25 So, but I've never been. And then anyone I say, I feel really proud, and I'm like, oh, I'm not, my ancestor, and they go, have you been? They go, no, they go, you've not been. No, no. It's fantastic. It's supposed to be unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:24:38 We've got to go. Well, yeah, I know. We always say that, don't we? We've got to go. But we've probably, you know, we've probably got cousins and stuff that were all in the IRA and all sorts. Yeah. Oh, definitely. Because that was proper.
Starting point is 00:24:53 Donagall was a hot bit of Irish nationalism back in the day. It really was. And I think when they tried to split the country up the British or whatever, I think in Donigall and that, I think they were so. anti-British that's why they kept that in the south even though it's in the north if that makes sense
Starting point is 00:25:14 they just thought we can't handle you lot we're just going to put a board around this bit because you're too much aggravation yeah yeah and yeah a lot of history there
Starting point is 00:25:25 so it was lovely to find that out really really pleased with that because we just because we never knew did we no no it was really interesting wasn't it Oh, fucking oh. You're all right?
Starting point is 00:25:42 I've got to take my glasses off. Sorry. It's all right. Is it digging in and pressing? Yeah. Sorry. Now there's a little invention, isn't they? What's that?
Starting point is 00:25:54 Could we foam? I mean it's quite a specialist thing when we're in headphones with glasses on. with glasses on. I'll get a next one. I'll just get a monocle. I'll get a monicle. I'll look like the penguin out of Batman.
Starting point is 00:26:11 Sorry, that's people of a certain age. I apologize. Some of our younger listeners won't understand that. I'll get a monocle. It'd be easier. You're not going to believe this. Sorry, talking of monocles. Right.
Starting point is 00:26:26 I picked her eyes up from school the other day. And she was wearing a monocle. She wasn't wearing a monocle. but we drove home and there was a unicycle in front of us. Right. Sorry? No. It's not a unicycle.
Starting point is 00:26:39 What am I to? A penny farthing. What's someone on it? On my life, driving up the country lane, riding. It was a penny farthing. What, on a school run? On the school run. Has he got a death wish?
Starting point is 00:26:52 A penny farthing on the school run? Waving, waving at everybody. Was he 78 with a great big long grey beard? He didn't have a grey beard. I didn't see a handlebar moustache. Right, okay. But I did see a charity t-shirt of some kind. Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:27:07 Well, that's fair enough. So he's probably doing it for charity. But it was strange at sort of our four on a Tuesday. Yeah. Yeah, it is. Penny Farthing. Yeah, it is odd. It's quite odd, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:27:19 I mean, good luck to you. Well, if he's doing it for charity, then at least there's a reason for it. Well, you don't know he was doing it for charity, do you? He could have just had the t-shirt. shirt on. That could be his only t-shirt. We're never going to know.
Starting point is 00:27:33 No. Are we? I'm going to lie awake at night now, thinking about a bloke on a penny farthing in in the charity t-shirt. At our past four on a Tuesday. Yeah. More questions and answers. I think this lady, Carla,
Starting point is 00:27:49 is from Ireland. Okay. Because she's put fecking. Oh, definitely. 100%. Yeah, definitely. Got to be. I think it was a legal case in Ireland where they proved it wasn't swearing.
Starting point is 00:27:59 in. Really? Someone told me that a lot. Yeah, I work of a lad who came from Ireland and they would use the word feck and I probably made this up again. I'm full of shit, I really am. But I'm sure he said to me
Starting point is 00:28:16 there was a legal case where they basically proved whoever it was proved that it wasn't swearing. Is that one? Is that Mrs Brown's boys can say for feck sake feck in hell? Yeah, and also Father Ted. Yes. They used to say feck. Hello, Nat and Tony. Just seen your message on Insta. Getting stuff finished, I'm either on the ball or the ball is on me. Anytime I try to get something done ahead of time, it goes tits up. When I was in college and handing in my final project, I went to check it the day before. The file had deleted. Smoked about 40 fags and handed it in the next morning. Got my 70% combined to pass beauty therapy.
Starting point is 00:28:59 Learned my lesson to be extra careful. Bloody hell. Find the worst thing to tackle is the fecking washing, three under five. I feel like I'm welded to washing machine and clothes horse. Give me strength. Hello to Tone and his fabulous speaking voice. Should get him on cameo, the girls would have got one for my hen party last week.
Starting point is 00:29:22 Lots of love, Carla. She's definitely Irish because she's hilarious. Fancy that. Checking your work and it are all being gone. Well, there's an old saying in the building industry, measure twice, cut once. Right. Which basically means check and check again.
Starting point is 00:29:43 Yeah. I'm afraid and that's it. So as a general, a pointer in life, if you're doing something that's important and you think you've checked it, just check it again. Yeah. That's it, simple. Mark's a checker.
Starting point is 00:29:57 Yeah, it's good. Multiple times. It's good. Yeah. It's good. Because then if you still make a balls up after that, then it's not meant to be. It was always going to be wrong.
Starting point is 00:30:06 Yeah. You know you've done your best sort of thing. But there's loads of times when I thought, that's that, and then I thought, oh, is it? You know, I'd be cutting a tire. I was going to say, a big, long piece of really expensive wood. Or you're drilling a hole, one hole, and you can't get it wrong. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:24 Like, drilling holes for downlights in cladding that you've put up. It's cost about four grand. Yeah. And you've got to make sure you don't draw one in the wrong place. What about my cladding? What cladding? A cladding on the house. What about it?
Starting point is 00:30:41 Have I not told you that story? No. This is quite funny. You won't find it funny. I marked it and find it funny. Right. But I have some lovely girls come and decorate my door. Yes, I've said, well, I've seen it numerous times.
Starting point is 00:30:57 They do lovely things. They would be back to do a lovely Christmas store soon. Yeah. But when they first came, they went, well, this is all really heavy. Am I out to just drill in here? And I went, yes, fine, no problem. And Mark got home and he went, what the fuck has happened to our cladding?
Starting point is 00:31:18 And I said, well, they've had to put stuff in to put stuff around the door. And he went, you do realize, that's, you've ruined the cladding now around the door. Yeah, you can't repair it, yeah. So that was a bit of a shame because I just now have to have something around the door at all times. Otherwise, there's loads of holes around the door. Oh, well.
Starting point is 00:31:40 That's a good excuse to have... Lovely, autumn... Yeah, autumn... Yeah, a spring garland, a summer, whatever you call it. Yeah, yeah, that's all right. So, you know... At least you can hide it. Yes.
Starting point is 00:31:55 Yeah. You know, if you'd have drilled some holes in the wrong place and you couldn't hide them and then it's a bit of an issue, isn't it? Yeah. No, I didn't know about your cladding problem, actually.
Starting point is 00:32:04 But it also would be nice to maybe just not have anything up sometimes. Yeah, yeah. Well, get some duct tape and stick it over the holes or something. A bit of filler. Yeah, a bit of filler. A bit of Glenn.
Starting point is 00:32:16 A bit of Glenn Miller. Hi, Annath, Andrew Hugh from South Wales. I just had to stop your podcast because the notification popped up for tonight's podcast. I'm way behind but I am going to New York at the end of the month and the flight is going to enable me
Starting point is 00:32:36 to catch up a lot hopefully hours and hours of podcasts from you so I can get near the more recent ones but I do have a question on Deco I am not just me, my husband as well we are absolute nightmare for finishing a room we start decorating but we've never
Starting point is 00:33:00 ever ever totally completed and finished a room like we did the living room up a couple of years ago now new floor painted the walls I papered the one side of the wall we had a new sofa
Starting point is 00:33:14 and that was it I haven't done anything like deco on the walls like I've been looking a little light wall lights because you can get battery ones now which is great no wires, not pictures, not, I got all the ideas in my head, but convinced I got ADHD and this is why, but nothing ever seems to have finished.
Starting point is 00:33:36 So if you were your brother, have got any tips and tricks to actually finish a room, that would be amazing. Thank you, loving the pod. Bye. Well, Andrea, I've got to be honest. I'm the same as you. My lounge is not finished.
Starting point is 00:33:54 I've got lots of pictures. I've got pictures to put in frames, mirror up. Not finished. Lounge is not finished. Lights, old lights still in there. Standing lights that are 20 years old. Not finished. Spare room.
Starting point is 00:34:09 Spare room blinds done. All the walls need painting. Got a bed in there that I like. Old bedside table. Everything is not finished. So over to Tony, because I want to know. know the answer. Well, I'm afraid in our game, the building game,
Starting point is 00:34:31 the easiest thing in the world is to start and the hardest thing in the world is to finish. I know customers whose builders have just not bothered coming back to finish because it's more aggravation. Let's say they're owed four grand or something on the job. It's going to cost them more to come back and finish it right than what it is to just write it off. so I know of people that
Starting point is 00:34:55 loads of people where they just couldn't get their builders back to finish because the finishing is the toughest, most difficult part it's that final push even when you do it for a living like I do that final push is painful yeah painful I've had jobs where I thought
Starting point is 00:35:13 I've got a week on this job and I've been there for three weeks finishing off all little tiny bits and pieces little bits of silic bits of this cleaning up taking tape off stuff, fitting lights, doing such and such. I would find that, I think, the best beer. No.
Starting point is 00:35:31 Because you're finessing it, no? No, no, you just want to get out. They're sick of you. You're sick of them. Right. You just want to get, but I'm talking about now on a professional level. So what about me who can't, I've not finished, my rooms are not finished, not a room. I'll tell you what you've got to do.
Starting point is 00:35:47 You've got to look at yourself in a mirror and you've got to say, get your arcing gear. I'm going to sort this out. You've got to be self-motivated, and you've just got to do it. Yes. And that sounds ridiculous. No, it doesn't. But you've just got to say, that's it. So this room's not done.
Starting point is 00:36:04 So for the next three weekends, we're not going out on the piss. We're not going out the pub. We're not doing this. We're not going out for the day. We're not doing such and such. Obviously, it all boils down to family commitments, kids. Money, finances, huge. Yep.
Starting point is 00:36:18 People run out of money. They can't afford to spend another £500 on. light fittings or a carpet they need or a rug or such and such or a blind you know classics now are blinds aren't they you know you think you finish the room and it costs you 1500 quid to put a blind up or whatever it is yeah but if you want to get stuff finished it's just about literally self-motivation setting yourself a target and hitting the target and you have to and you have to get out of bed on a Saturday morning at our past seven you have to get out get out get up get and just do it yeah because if you don't the inertia before you know it it's like everything in life if if you stop and there's there's no get up and go the inertia will just grind you to a halt and then you will go in 18 months later and go this room's not finished and it's really difficult yeah and the other thing you can do as well which i know i've said to people in the past is say to yourself, I'm going to give us,
Starting point is 00:37:22 we're going to have four weeks to get this done, four weekends, whatever it might be, and we're going to book a restaurant. And once we're, once we're done, we're going to go to that, our favourite restaurant for Sunday debt, whatever, and we're going to celebrate the fact that you've finished it. Yeah, that's good.
Starting point is 00:37:41 That's a real, it's a really big thing where you say, but you've got to do it. And if you're on your own, it's really, really, really, tough. Sometimes being a couple or being a pair can be worse because if you're not on the same page if one's going, oh, I don't want to do it, don't want to go shopping or I want to go to a club
Starting point is 00:38:02 or I want to do this. Yeah. And the other one's going, we've got to do it. That causes rousing arguments. So with what I'm doing at the moment, I mean, I've had years of inertia in my house. Don't get me wrong. Everyone's going, oh, isn't he wonderful?
Starting point is 00:38:16 I'm not. I'm not. My poor wife's weight 20 years for a new kitchen. Yep. Like, let's not make out I'm Superman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I'm not. I'm doing it now because I've decided it's got to be done.
Starting point is 00:38:27 But trust me, it's really hard work. Like, I'm up 7 o'clock Saturday morning, 7 o'clock Sunday morning. And I'm working until four, five, both days. I'm on a schedule. I know it's got to get done. I know I've got to finish it. And it's difficult. But unfortunately, it is literally just about,
Starting point is 00:38:48 just puff your cheeks out get up also I'm not ripping out bathrooms I just need to go to a frame shop and get a few photos putting frames
Starting point is 00:38:59 and put them up and then choose a few lights what you're talking about is all stuff that you can it's not that you don't want to do it or you can't be bothered to do it they're just low on your list of priorities they're so low
Starting point is 00:39:13 in your overall life and your well that's it choosing a light fit is number 187 on the list. It's so true. That's true. So that's different. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:23 That's different. What you're talking about is different. I know exactly what this lady's talking about, which is, you know, I, um, what did I do? Like I would, I did the living room one year and, um, and I painted it and whatever. And there was just stuff that needed doing and never got done. Yeah. I was going to put new sockets on the wall
Starting point is 00:39:48 and I was going to do something else and whatever and it just never got done. And then the next time I decorated it five years later I put the new sockets on the new sockets on the wall. So I know exactly where people are coming from but you've just got to, you've got to ask yourself, do I want, a lot of the time you've got to say yourself, do I really want to do this?
Starting point is 00:40:05 Do I want to get it finished? Or am I just prevaricating because... That's the thing to do? Or I can't really be bothered and that's what you've got to ask yourself. It's like, If I want it done, I've got to get off my ass and do it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:21 I'm afraid. No, absolutely. This one is from Polly. Hello now and hello Tone. I've got a message for Tone, and I'm going to keep it as short and sweet as possible without swearing. So don't have a go at me if I do swear. Anyway, I am a small business in Suffolk,
Starting point is 00:40:42 and I am a dog groomer. I've got a dog grooming parlor, would you call it? it, fuck no. Anyway, I've got a salon in Suffolk and I've just been given the green light to say, yes, you can paint the outside of your shop. Fantastic, brilliant. I'm also a single mum with a small business. So I'm looking at keeping costs down. So here's me, hands on girly. I want to do this myself. Is this a bad thing or is this a good thing? I've currently redecorated my son's room so I feel like I can do this, stand it all down, fill it and paint it. What's the time frame? What are we thinking? Can I do this? Am I mental? Do I need to get experts in? If you think I could
Starting point is 00:41:31 do it, I mean, I've got a few girls that can help me as well. So let me know and give me your best tips and best advice on how to approach the situation. All the best, lots of love. Polly from Suffolk. with a dog grooming salon that will hopefully be painted by the end of the month. All the best. Well, done, Polly. Love you.
Starting point is 00:41:53 Well, Polly sounds like a right laugh. She sounds great and I reckon she can do it. I want to go to the pub with Adrian Dunbar and Polly. That would be brilliant. What a night. Be great, wouldn't it? Yeah, fabulous. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:42:05 I mean, she sounds enthusiastic. She does. She sounds like she is full of beans. Yeah, I agree. I think fucking go for it. I do. Really? Yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:42:15 From her, she's redecorated her son's bedroom on her own. I know, yeah. That's incredible. Yeah, it is. And I think if you've got a few mates... A son's bedroom is all internal. Yeah. So you've not got any weather issues.
Starting point is 00:42:27 Come on. No, it's not about, I don't know the... You need to see the shop front. I need to know how much timber's involved, whether it's brickwork, whether it's timber. Oh, yeah. If you've got a bow-fronted shop, for instance, yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:38 All original work, all original woodwork. Oh, what, like a 15, like Shakespearean, like Canterbury High Street? Yeah. and you've got loads of rotten timber. Yeah. You know. Or it just might be stone with a door.
Starting point is 00:42:52 If it's stone with a door, just paint it. Fine. Paint it. Fine, right? So we'll get on to paint in a minute. Yeah. Just paint it. But if it's, if there's a lot of timber involved
Starting point is 00:43:01 and you've got problems with some of it might be rotten and you're a replace. Window seals that are peeling. Exactly, yeah. You look things that are, then that is not a job for the faint-hearted. You've got to know what you're doing, unfortunately, because you can make a bit of a pig's ear. of it.
Starting point is 00:43:16 Yeah. And also there's a danger that she's going to take her eye. She's going to spend so much time decorating the outside of the place she's got. She takes her eye off the ball. Inside. What she's actually doing, you know. So I think she sounds very keen, very capable, not saying that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:33 It just depends. When she says, I'm going to paint the outside of the shop. What is it? What is it? I don't know what that means. If it's, you know, four square meters of brickwork and a door frame, go for it. Yeah. know if it's quite a lot of intricate repair stuff and whatever she could just disappear up
Starting point is 00:43:50 her own backside trying to work out how she's going to do it and what she does and whatever anyways so as a general tip if you're going to do stuff like that always go down near a water based paint route yeah yeah because it dries quick um you get two or three coats on in a day uh du lux do a weather shield system um that uh is uh specifically for um external timber work they do a primer they do an undercoat they do top coats you can have it done in colors and whatever yeah if if you just want to paint stuff then there are now lots of one coat all coat type paints so i think zinza do one in very you can have it tinted to any color you want and you literally just paint this stuff on anything you're on u pvc metal wood plastic you name
Starting point is 00:44:36 it you can put it on it yeah exactly so if it's that sort of situation then you can get an all in like an all coat like a zinza or a be deck is another paint that does that type of stuff and you can literally just paint it on anywhere but always mask up if you've got windows and stuff don't just splodge it on everywhere so try if you've got windows and glass a bit of masking tape get some masking tape up so that it makes you cleaning up a lot easier also make sure you cover up the pavement outside the shop another classic is people just go at it and then they look down and there's this, you know, this multi-coloured mess on the floor that they then try and get up, get off.
Starting point is 00:45:14 So make sure you put some dust sheets down. Yes. And if there's any working at hire as well, very dangerous if you're not used to getting up ladders and stuff. So you might have to look at a little scaffold to give you a nice working platform because I don't suggest that people that are not used to working up ladders start getting up ladders and painting.
Starting point is 00:45:33 No, fair enough. So they're my tips for that. Fantastic, Dale. Thank you. Brilliant. I find him very impressive, do you? I really do. I know why you message me and say,
Starting point is 00:45:47 can we have a Tony talks? It's great with his tips, because I love him. And I don't need to say that. Good afternoon, Natalie and Tony. Dealing with stress. Lovely Tim. Well, we're planning to exchange a week today. A move house.
Starting point is 00:46:08 And then a week after that, so the 31st of October, move into the new house. We're going to move house, move the family, move the business at the same time. And we've got about 50 to 60 addresses to change just for the business, plus the 20-30 for ourselves. And I'm wondering how we're dealing with stress. And I think it is, listen to your favourite music. Listen to a podcast. Cry down the phone to some random person. I suppose that would probably help.
Starting point is 00:46:40 But we're taking it in our stride. And I have to say at the moment, the most stressful thing, is finding some bugger to actually pack the house and move it for us, because apparently half-term week when we move is the busiest week of the year for removal. That's not helping. But, yeah, it shall all be fun. And, yeah, I think I'm going to be playing a lot of music, just try and chill out. I'm only up to chapter four of your book.
Starting point is 00:47:04 I think I'm going to be finishing that over the next three days and saying woo-sah, woo-sah, who-sah, and just trying to stay calm. And then we've got to put a new roof on the house. We've then got to decorate the whole fucking thing all the way through. But apart from that, yeah, easy, easy-peasy. Anyway, best wishes to you both and the family. Catch you soon.
Starting point is 00:47:24 Bye-bye. Tim, when you hear that, you're going to realise how loud either someone at work is or your wife is talking to someone. Yeah, trying to get a signal. So we had a full, full blown two-way. We had two conversations going on there at the same time. I did get another message from Tim a little bit later on in the day, which was this. To continue the saga in such a short space of time,
Starting point is 00:47:54 we've just had someone come around to do a quote on moving, and he's come in the front door, and I think he's treated the front door like the front door to the bloody Tardis. he thinks that there's so much stuff in this house that it's going to take a day and a half to unload the bloody stuff when we get to Ringwood 10 minutes up the road so it's going to take a day to pack it
Starting point is 00:48:16 which is about right but then a whole day and a half to unpack it I'm not quite sure what the logic is there we're going 10 minutes up the road I'm going to have some pineapple fudge No, I'm going to have some pineapple fudge That's it, no, bollocks.
Starting point is 00:48:39 Well, I think, listening to it, I think it'd be fine. They'd be all right. I think it'd be fine. Tim will be fine. Yeah, he's just, you know, he's just going to roll with it and do it. But why would it be a day to pack up, which I would find the hardest part, fragile things, you're wrapping them up, you're packing them,
Starting point is 00:48:58 and then a day and a half to unpack it? Well, unless they're moving into a rabbit warren with a tiny little door, I don't really understand. I don't understand that either, really. Doesn't make sense. Because they don't unpack it, do they? They just put it in, they just go, kitchen, bedroom. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:18 Is this China? Drop it, so that's all broken. Is this piano worth a lot of money? Drop that down the stairs, you know. Lauren Hardy style. So I agree there. I don't understand the data pack up. day and a half to unpack, that just sounds a bit mental to me.
Starting point is 00:49:33 I remember packing up our old house. Which one? There was a few. My last one. Oh, your last one, sorry. I thought you meant our old. Okay, yes, yes. I was doing a very, very heavy storyline at EastEnders with about 11 scenes a day, 12-hour days. I had daddy in the lounge.
Starting point is 00:50:00 which she kindly made his room with the wall. He wasn't in the greatest of form. No, no, no. Joni was two. I don't know, Eliza was, well, eight. And Mark was working all day, every day. I can't remember where he was. So I'd get home at eight and pack until about two o'clock in the morning.
Starting point is 00:50:28 Mark did a lot of the heavy stuff, but I did a lot on my own. Yeah. And again, it's one of those scenes. You know, you look back and you go, how did I do that? Yeah, because what you did was, you just thought about the task directly in front of you.
Starting point is 00:50:43 And just got on with it. And just got on with it. Yeah. As soon as you start thinking about that, the next bit and the next bit, and then you get overwhelmed and you won't start. Yes. You won't do it because you're just so overwhelmed.
Starting point is 00:50:53 I've had some great advice in my life. In the building game, a very good friend of mine who's no longer with us. You met him, David, when you went to Dramolan Castle, David Wald. Yes. When I was starting out, doing what I'm doing now, I started my own business from nothing, basically.
Starting point is 00:51:09 Yeah. And we were chatting one day, and I said, what's the best bit of advice you can give me? He said, in our game, he said, it's not how you get into trouble, so you get out of it. And I've remembered those words for the last 25 years. Yeah. It's so, so, so true.
Starting point is 00:51:27 Yeah. he was a lovely man he was a lovely man yeah yeah shame really but there we go um so with the packing up stuff and all the rest of it
Starting point is 00:51:40 and being overwhelmed another good friend of mine who I don't see any more when we had a big task in the office or something that was seemingly impossible I never forget we were sitting in a meeting one day and I just said to him how or know if we're going to do this
Starting point is 00:51:54 or words to that effect yeah and he said to him me let me ask you a question I said what he said how do you eat an elephant I said what are you talking about he said how do you eat an elephant I said I've no idea he said you do it one bite at a time yes that's what he said and it's very very true so if you've got this massive task or whatever it is whatever it is you just worry about taking the first step and you worry about that and then you take the next step and you worry about that and you get that
Starting point is 00:52:23 done and that's the way and that's the only way it's the only way to to keep yourself sane and to get anywhere. Yes. I mean, Laura from Essex is firstly looking forward to seeing us at South End on Sea. Oh, wow. So thank you, Laura, for booking your tickets. Fabulous. And she said, hi, Nat and Tony.
Starting point is 00:52:44 I hope you both well. I've just seen your message regarding how we cope with stress, etc. I've never been able to cope with stress and feeling overwhelmed my entire life. I've been a very emotional person too. and my brain is constantly working all the time. I've always been told that I'm depressed and stuffed with anxiety till recently when my husband randomly said
Starting point is 00:53:06 I've been looking into your symptoms and I think you may have ADHD. We went to the doctors and they confirmed I'm high on the spectrum for it. I'm awaiting for my referral to have it confirmed at the grand age of 38. So, you've also got A lot of undiagnosed people
Starting point is 00:53:28 with very different neurodiverse things going on that when we were little, no one thought of. No, no, no. You were even naughty or a fidget or a fidget. That's right, couldn't concentrate, you're stupid. All those things. Yeah, exactly, all those stuff, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I do think again, that generation, our generation is a generation,
Starting point is 00:53:51 my generation and yours, where we don't know about if we've got any of those things going on. No. So we don't really know where to go with it. I'm not saying it makes much of a difference if you know or not. But I think if you know, then I think some people can have medication if they're high on the spectrum of things. Or you, there's a reason for it, isn't there?
Starting point is 00:54:16 Exactly. I think what it is, but what it does is, is it rationalises and explain. how you've been for the last 38 years or whatever it is. Absolutely. And I think that's really interesting. Well, I think it's really important because if you're sitting there thinking, oh, there's something wrong with me and I'm this and I'm that
Starting point is 00:54:37 and I'm always anxious and I'm always, I'm overthinking and my mind's racing and whatever. If someone actually sits you down and says, well, actually the reason why you're like this is because of this. And you go, oh, okay. And then that helps you to deal with it, deal with it, understand it rather than thinking,
Starting point is 00:54:53 you're just, you're a little bit mad. I feel like you're going mad at all the time. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm pleased Laura. I'm pleased you've got your diagnosis. And, um, really important. Really, really important.
Starting point is 00:55:08 Really important. And the more I read, I'm sure I've got ADHD. Do you reckon? Yeah. Start projects. Don't finish them. Start knitting. Bag and knitting.
Starting point is 00:55:19 Bag and crochet. I want to do everything. Don't stop thinking. Very interesting. Hello, for your pod tonight with Tony, communication is key for busy periods and projects, making sure that everyone knows what part they play and how they impact.
Starting point is 00:55:38 And if they don't play a part in it, but they're impacted by how busy you will be, then communication around that aspect too. Let's be honest. It's not often we all get parts of that right, so a big part of it for me is managing my own expectations of what success of a project or failure of a project might look like
Starting point is 00:55:56 and am I okay with that? It's Anshu by the way from Buckinghamshire. Great message. Great message. Clearly a super intelligent person who completely gets it and completely understands
Starting point is 00:56:10 communication is absolutely critical. It is. In anything you do for managing your own personal relationship with your family, to run in a business, to dealing with customers. Yeah. People that do not communicate, they just introduce all sorts of problems.
Starting point is 00:56:33 They introduce uneasiness. They introduce issues that can all be just cut. They can literally be headed off at the past by just saying, oh, we're doing this and I expect that. And what are we doing about such and such? Or, you know what you're doing now, I feel like this about it. Yeah. And I'm just going to let you know that that's how I feel.
Starting point is 00:56:59 Also, I find if people are non-communicators, you're second-guessing all the time. All the time. Your second guessing. All the time. And then you might get that wrong. Exactly. Offends that person. And then it just turns into a shit show because what happens is what could have been a very, very simple solution.
Starting point is 00:57:19 Yes. ends up with getting into all sorts of tangled problems. Yes. And honestly, with what I do, communication is just unbelievably critical. Yeah. You can stop 95% of issues even arising by just making sure people aware of what you're doing, why you're doing it, why you're not doing it. If you're not going to be there, tell them why you're not going to be there.
Starting point is 00:57:46 If you can't do something in a certain way or at a certain time, tell them why. it's not going to happen. Managing people's, like a brilliant term, managing people's expectations is enormous. Yeah. But it takes a certain amount of intelligence to do it, unfortunately. And again, in my game, I know loads and loads of tradesmen who are brilliant.
Starting point is 00:58:04 They're brilliant at what they do, but they can't communicate. So Joe Public gets unbelievably frustrated with them. Why did you not tell me he was going to come to work at 10 o'clock? I've been waiting for you since 8. Why could you not just tell, well, what's the difference? I'm here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:23 Yeah, but I've been fretting for two hours because I didn't think you was coming. Yeah. Why didn't you tell me he was going to put the handle there and not put the handle there? Or you was going to do such and such. But again, like you say, your business, it comes back to anything that anybody does.
Starting point is 00:58:37 But it's the same in most businesses. Anything. Most of life is about communication. And if you can't communicate, you're in for a rocky ride, I'm afraid. Yeah. Lucy from Space to Talk. I did a mental health pod with a couple of weeks back. All right, Lucy.
Starting point is 00:58:54 She said lots to say on that topic, Nat. Perfectionists can really struggle with projects and deadlines. If we struggle to believe in our ability to complete something and to do it well, we can find ourselves procrastinating and avoiding. The trick can be to break things down into really small manageable tasks, like your elephant analogy,
Starting point is 00:59:13 that we feel able to tackle. Start with the more easily achieved bits and work up to the bigger and more challenging. Our brains get the dopamine hit we get and then it motivates you to keep going. Which makes sense also. Yes, definitely. Perfect sense.
Starting point is 00:59:29 It's Sarah. Just seeing your topic for tonight's conversation is a universal one, isn't it? Because everyone deals with stress. And myself personally, I am going through stage four cancer and all the treatment and side effects that it comes with. And I think the way I deal with it is I tried to just keep telling myself, it's out of my hands, whatever the outcome will be, whether it be how the blood test result turns out, my scan result, how the treatment affects me that particular week.
Starting point is 01:00:06 It's out of my control and I can sit and I can stress about it or I can just accept it and hope for the best. I think keeping the hope and the faith in anything you do in life is so important and nobody knows what's around the corner and we're all just winging it basically day by day, week by week, month by month. I love you and I love your podcast. You make me smile through my darkest days
Starting point is 01:00:37 and I can be listening when I'm going through treatment or laying in bed, feeling rough from the side effects and you just put a smile on my face. So thank you. Thank you for being you. Thank you for doing this podcast. It has made such a difference in my life. And I look forward to meeting you in December at the Grand.
Starting point is 01:01:00 Lots of love is Sarah from Battersea. Lovely, lovely, Sarah. That puts it all into perspective. Wow, what a message. Sarah messaged me. And we got chatting a little while ago. and yeah I said your name's on the guest list come to the show so she was absolutely thrilled
Starting point is 01:01:18 I said make sure you come down so we'll be meeting Sarah on the 7th December what an inspirational lady got to finish with that because it sums everything up really it does it does it puts everything into perspective and she's absolutely right we're all winging it we're all making it up as we go along if anyone tells you any different
Starting point is 01:01:41 they're talking rubbish We are all making it up as we go along. We're open for the best, and open it all turns out all right. Crossing our fingers. That's right. Yeah, definitely. And having a go. Having a go, yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:55 So there you go. What a lovely pod. Thank you. Thank you. Really enjoyed it. Savoy. Love it. Brilliant.
Starting point is 01:02:03 Thank you, everybody. As usual, O-Double 7-8-201919. Hope you've really, really enjoyed it. I hope you all have a fantastic week. Can't thank you. enough for listening. Make sure, remember what I said, tell a friend, show them how to do it, get them to download it and I'll speak to you very soon. See you later. Thanks, Tom. Thanks. See later. Bye.
Starting point is 01:02:43 with over 100 authors from around the world, including Rachel Maddow, Ketourou Isaku, and Kieran Desai. The Toronto International Festival of Authors, October 29th to November 2nd. Details and Tickets at Festival of Authors.ca.

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