Life with Nat - EP165: Nat's Nieces #33 - Giraffes, fraud & thriving
Episode Date: October 27, 2025The nieces are back with Nat, asking big questions, like... what do I do with a plant that's growing? How do we cope with Christmas whilst on a birthday trip? And, who's pulled a Celia? The prescrip...tion thing they were trying to remember is called an NHS Prepayment Certificate. Worth a look if you get more than 3 prescriptions a month! Enjoy!! xx Please subscribe, follow, and leave a review. xxx You can find us in all places here; https://podfollow.com/lifewithnat/view We're on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifewithnatpod Nat's insta: @natcass1 Neice's insta: @natsnieces Tony's insta: @tonycass68 Linny's insta: @auntielinny.lwn THE BIG CHRISTMAS LIVE SHOW 7th December - claphamgrand.com/event/live-with-nat-at-christmas/ The tiny warm-up shows 22nd Oct - The Bill Murray, Islington - https://www.angelcomedy.co.uk/event-detail/live-with-nat-work-in-progress-wed-22nd-oct-the-bill-murray-london-tickets-202510221830/ 4th Nov - Dixon Studio, Palace Theatre, Southend - www.trafalgartickets.com/palace-theatre-southend/en-GB/event/other/live-with-nat-work-in-progress-tickets 6th Nov - Hat Factory, Luton - http://www.culturetrust.com/whats-on/live-nat-work-progress 16th Nov - Hawth Studio, The Hawth Theatre, Crawley - https://www.parkwoodtheatres.co.uk/the-hawth/whats-on/live-with-nat-work-in-progress Book Club: October's Book is Happy Days by Natalie Cassidy (obvs we have to get behind our gal!!) https://harpercollins.co.uk/products/happy-days-natalie-cassidy. Get reading, all reviews welcome. We're also accepting suggestions for a Christmassy thriller fiction for November Nat’s solo chats - any rants always welcome! Scraping the Barrel - SCAN AND SHOP VIRGIN NO LONGER! Marc’s still adamant that days old salad from a takeaway is an ideal packed lunch - what’s the maddest thing you’ve pack for lunch? Bonce vs list! - Are you a list maker? Always collecting for Nostalgia Fest! What’s brewing with the Nieces - are we all skipping the end of summer, all of autumn and going straight to Christmas - Nat’s door is! Group chat ettiquette & pranks. Nice Lorraines… get in touch! Advent calendars & gift recommendations v. welcome! Things we’re nagging with Linny about - More lateness stories and some cleaning questions, please! The Tony talks chatter - Keep your DIY questions coming, also open to some saucy two paragraph stories for Tony to read out at the Southend show - think cheeky postcards (both in tone and length)! Can we make Tony an influencer and get him any freebies? TBC Cultural differences ep - inspired by Linny’s Mediterranean heritage and her & Ellia's Italian trip, we'd love to hear about the cultural differences you've noticed between the UK and basically ANYWHERE else! A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Is it the matcha, or am I this energized from scoring three Sephora holiday gift sets?
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What noise does a giraffe make?
Good one, isn't it?
Sorry?
They have a long tongue.
When they're eating the branches, they don't make...
They don't.
They don't make a noise.
Only when, although when they fight each other, that is scary shit.
Have you seen what they do?
No.
No. All those times, you've seen those giraffes fighting.
Yeah.
I know, but we don't watch Attenborough much, do we?
They swing their necks.
Oh, yeah.
Like, Dutty Wine, that means.
Yeah, and they fight with their necks and with their little horns and claw, dig in.
Yeah.
Not heard any noises, though.
What about a panda?
No, what I will say about a giraffe.
Beautiful.
Because your eyelashes look beautiful tonight.
Thank you.
The most beautiful eyelashes is unreal.
Amazing.
You got fake ones again?
Yeah.
Yeah, I've had them on for a little while.
Yeah.
You're like a giraffe.
You do.
Thanks.
Apart from the height.
Yeah, no.
Talking of fake things.
Well done you.
I'm very pleased.
Pink your boobs are, alright?
No.
She's got no nails.
So what's on them?
What are we doing?
Nothing strengthner.
Well done.
They're really good.
They do?
Can you have biab?
I don't know, I'm scared.
But look at your face and your neck.
No, but it has been like that for a while, but I still last night,
it felt so itchy and it's been feeling like it's on fire.
But the rush isn't there?
Have you checked the strength now that that's not got any weird things in it?
Oh, else I don't know, but it was funny because I was getting it removed.
There's a lady sitting next to me.
I said to her, oh, I've got to get him removed because of this, that.
She went, I bet you'll secretly hope.
that you get them removed, but you still get the rash.
It's true.
It is true.
There's a tiny little part of you that hopes you're allergic to something else.
Yeah, it is.
But they're not bitten down.
Please don't bite them.
No, I know.
It's really good.
I'm going to really be strong and try.
Because I think I could put a little color on them, don't I?
Cool.
Easily.
And you've got long fingers.
Yeah.
So you can get away with them.
Yeah.
So you've had yours off and I've gone super long.
maria style they look lovely i did mine with eliza oh it's very good they look lovely
nice cute right i've done a bit round a lot i've cut mine down nice better i love this shape but you
can't have it unless you're having them long they look awful yeah agreed sorry guys
the point that like a stiletto slash almond you're like a talon you're like a witch i said i said
I'm going Halloween without realising red and long, pointy.
No, I love it.
Nice.
Are you doing any pumpkins at all?
No.
No.
You're not?
There's been some excellent memes on the old.
Oh, let's have a day out.
You know, and it's like, it's not, it's not what it looks, yeah.
Love him.
No, again, I love the idea of it.
It's fucking boring.
An ag.
Cold.
Muddy
And even like last year
We just bought some pumpkins
And dug them out
It's hard
My hands were in pieces
I'm allergic to the pumpkin
I was red raw
It's horrible
Absolutely red raw
With some gloves
Last night I was in bed
And I was on YouTube
Mike was like
What are you watching
I was like pumpkin carving
He said oh yeah brilliant
Just because she's got a competition
Joanie
It's like take two quidding
And bring a pumpkin
But she's not even at school
on Friday so it's irrelevant because if she wins she's not there
but I've seen this thing you know like biscuit cutters
yes you can put that hammer bosh oh
do that really though can you
it all cracks to pieces yeah I'd be I think
the way forward is to paint them draw on them yes
pencil yeah I've seen that that's a good idea
and nice the girl you know like you can get a bit of glitter
the only thing is that's what I'll be doing I'll be saying there's no carving
that's what we do but the carving thing some of them
they thin out the layers of the skin.
Yeah.
So I did.
It all went rotten and all crumbled in on itself.
Well,
more for you.
That's you, isn't it?
Dan's with tea.
But I'm saying there's a thinness
and then you can see a little bit of the shadows.
You can get really good ones.
Some people are amazing, but yeah, it's not my foreshay.
It's not for me.
I mean, I can't fucking do a dot to dot,
so I don't know who's carving a pumpkin.
I can't imagine you carve it.
I'd try.
No, it's a lot.
But even the equipment, the utensils,
they're shit.
They are useless.
They are the biggest con out there.
A plastic shovel.
You try shoveling it with plastic.
You just need spoons and kitchen knives.
Such a con that.
Carving pumpkin kit.
Bullshit.
Really bad.
Yeah, no.
How are you feeling this week?
Any better?
No, you've been under the weather last week.
And I felt very tired.
I woke up this morning at about three.
Yeah.
And my throat.
It felt so sore and dry.
I thought, please don't.
I feel okay, but I'm not 100%.
Not 100%.
Well, we've had a lovely message from Claire,
Elliot, and she said,
I'm recommending this to you and the nieces.
You can get it in Tesco.
It's perfect for warding off winter viruses.
I swear this is the reason I've yet to be struck down
with the dreaded lurgy going around, doing the rounds.
What is it?
60-mo shot once a day.
It's very hot because of the K-N.
But it's a plenish recovery.
So it's plenish and again it's one of those shots
Show me the bottle
Oh so
So is that a
A little bottle, a little shot right
And she is recommending those
One a day?
One a day
How much is that costing?
I know, do you remember our argument with Eliza about the shots?
Yeah
And then I went and bought three
You know the Marxism, Cain
Is it Cain?
Yeah, ginger
Again just going to throw it out there
Go on
you could make them
that was the argument
so we were mugging
Natalie off saying as if you buy them
for Eliza and she's boshing one in one a day
why don't you make them
it's got to be fresh
but it has you got to do it every morning
I'm not saying that's not a possibility
you do they turn to sugar
within like 12 hours
so how do these juice companies
that make them stuff in them
there's additives in them you can't
when I've I've juiced a lot
I've done beetroot apple ginger
you have to juice and drink
it turns to shit
if you leave it in the fridge.
Hmm.
Interesting.
But if you froze it?
Possible.
Then what are you doing?
You're defrosting.
I just get it out the night before
or in the morning.
So you can't, though.
Can you the night before?
It's a good idea.
I'm not sure.
Well, if you got it out
and put it in the fridge,
it's going to take a little while to defrost.
Yeah.
But do them in the cube things.
Yeah.
Or even in mini bottles.
Yeah, or do it in an ice cube.
it in a glass
there's ways
I reckon
I reckon
I think you can
do you remember that stuff
that
our dear friend
bought us
our dear friend
dear friend
do you remember
that stuff
that she brought us
a bottle each
we were ill
we were both ill
a lot
and she was like
to take it
Maria
I know
I know who our dear friend is
I just don't know
what you're talking about
it wasn't what I love
the metatone
oh I hate that shit
it was like black
drink
Yeah, and you have a shot of it
Yeah, no
Oh, that's disgusting
What is that?
Metatone Wendy Richard
Got me onto that
But she swore by it
When you run down
It's got a lot of iron in it
Isn't it?
It's good for you
Grim
I just don't stick at this stuff
I don't stick at nothing
The vitamins are there
I'm getting fatter by the day
Genuinely
I don't do nothing anymore
Yeah, all this
Come open that David Lloyd
I need it
I need a new gym to go to
And I know that's bullshit, but I actually do.
I'm not going to lie.
I need something to go to, something to focus on.
Is there something? Peloton not cutting it.
Don't go on it.
Not interested.
I went on it once and I've done my backing.
I can't ride a bike, stationary or not.
I was talking to my friend.
Does she want it?
No, but she's got one.
She said I've never used it.
I said that's a shame.
You could have bought Natalie's off.
It's a real shot.
I thought you were going to say she wanted Brian.
I was buzzing.
Oh, it's bad, isn't it?
Terrible.
It's not just me, though.
I mean, not for me.
It's not.
I'm Queen Zim.
But there are three people in the home who could use it.
No one uses it.
It's not just me.
Yeah, no, you're absolutely right.
I'm saying there's people.
And the lies are saying about, oh, yeah, you know, when I go to the gym.
No, not interesting.
People come over and I say, do you want to get on it and I don't want to, I'm like, do you want to class or?
Yeah, it's mad.
Do you play for that subscription?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
I cancelled the subscription.
And then I was like, no, I'm doing it, put it back on.
It's only been about a month, but not got on it.
So, yeah, I'll cancel that tonight, actually.
But you should.
No, I don't like it.
I don't like the bike.
I'm not interested.
I've got no interest.
Again, all of this, you should.
Sorry to keep going on about my reformer.
I mean, I've been going to three weeks.
I can't be going three years.
No, but you've found something you enjoy, and it's very special when you do that.
Yeah, no, absolutely.
I said to Natalie, I said, I've got it booked Friday morning.
And then Becky was like, you've got a blow dry booked.
I said, I'm going to have to cancel you, Becky.
Good.
Wow.
She cancelled the blow dry.
No, but it's really good.
What if I try and do it before?
I said, no, but that's all, so you're not having a blow dry for marks?
No, I'm just going to have to crimp.
Good for you.
No, I like that, though.
Because I can't, I want to do it.
It's really good.
I wish I could do it more.
It's really good.
But yeah, David Lloyd.
Although, what time it wins that blow dry because I need it?
Oh, um, oh, it's now 4.30.
What do you mean?
You just said you've cancelled?
No, it was 9.30 and then I think she had a swap with someone's 430.
And I could have done the 4.30
but now I'm letting Alfie do his first ever play date
with a couple of the boys.
So I thought I can't do that.
Oh, nice mum.
Can you, is there something for the kids to do
and you do a class?
Or did it not work like that?
Yeah.
What do you get looked after?
I'm not saying looked after.
But there's tennis clubs, there's things to do.
Yeah, there's a crash.
I think there's a crash.
It's like a kids club fit.
Yeah, but are they creche material?
They're a bit older now, aren't they?
No, I don't know.
I'm not sure.
That's interesting.
But there's clubs, tennis, clerk and book on to a course.
No, there is, because one of my friends is joining.
She has multiple children at multiple ages.
She said, I'm joining because that's the way I'll be spending my time.
And I could go and work there if I'm working from home.
Absolutely.
We could all do work there.
I'm going to spend my life there.
Really?
Again, you say this.
No, I will.
But I think for swimming, things with the back, is there going to be a soft play?
Have I made that out?
Always a soft play in the cafe.
I mean, it's just great.
Yeah, I'm going to be there a lot.
It is so expensive, though, isn't it?
But I'll say in someone, it is expensive, but the tone's back.
He's not coming out this way.
He only comes out every now and again.
I'm not going to make him.
He's original.
Yeah, no, he's not.
It's very important.
Coming up.
Yeah, I said it is expensive.
However, what is it a month for a family?
Oh, family, I don't know.
I'm not really sure yet.
All I'm saying is, it's a few hundred quid.
It depends on how you're using it.
And it's not just going into the gym.
It's not like a leisure centre, David Lloyd.
It's a lifestyle.
I've done it before.
But I'm guessing all the kids club that's all additional money.
I'm not sure.
Yeah, it's just interesting because I said,
depending on what's included and what isn't,
By the time you do this, pay for gym, pay for classes, X, Y and Z,
when you're totally all that, there'll be some classes included for the children, surely.
Yeah, and all of our classes are included.
And you've got the gym, you've got a lovely pool, you've got an outdoor pool,
you've got a spa, which is to die for.
I only know this because I went with Patsy recently to the one up the road from Bore and Mord,
which I never knew existed, and I was there for 12 years.
I couldn't believe it.
Bushy, 10 minutes up the road.
Right.
And the spa is absolutely fat.
You feel like you're on holiday.
I can't believe this.
But even that, to go,
should we just go for a few hours for like a spa?
Yeah.
I'm just thinking like for me on a Sunday.
Cracking food.
To kill a few hours with the kids.
Yeah.
Lovely breaks up the day.
But you could go if you're,
even if you go for the soft play or you go swimming or, you know,
if it's a nice day,
you can just go in the garden,
you know, around the grounds.
I bet that will be lovely.
Yeah.
There'll be walks or, you know.
Oh, well, I'm excited.
Very excited.
So we got that to important.
Just a shame.
It opens in.
No, I'm really pleased with that.
But then maybe that's why they've done it as well.
New Year, New Me.
I bet you it gets postponed till, Jan.
Yeah, but also that's all right, though, to be fair.
Yeah, December, it's like mid-December.
You're not going to be using it in the first two weeks.
Yeah, I am.
Okay, can't wait.
What, went, your busiest time of year, Christmas shopping, wrapping presents.
I'm going to go.
Okay.
She's going to go.
She's going to wrap all her presents there.
No, I'm going.
You're not.
You're not going to go.
I am.
What is your hand for?
I don't, not interested.
What are you going to do there?
Tenor.
What are we saying?
Before Christmas.
Before Christmas.
Okay, guarantee you won't.
I'm in.
I'm in on that.
Please postpone your opening, David Lloyd.
What, 10 pound?
No.
No, you should have bet the membership for a whole year.
Yeah, all right.
Talking of Christmas and stuff, as we're there,
can we give a shout out to Liberati?
Oh.
You've done all the hard work, so thank you.
Who me?
Well, yeah, you've been talking to that.
She has.
I think she has.
I didn't know she talked to them.
Oh no, I know she's done the hard work,
but I'm saying in terms of organising things, you've done it.
But how cute, her mum's been helping her.
I know.
Let's explain to the listeners what we've done.
Is her name Libby?
Yeah.
Yeah, it is Libby.
So I bought, to go to the beginning,
I bought some photos for everyone in the family,
a little photo of James,
and they were personalised to each family member.
Last Christmas.
Last Christmas.
And she then sent us the,
personalized Life with Nat
Wooden Bull Bull Bulls if you remember
And it had some quotes on it
Bits and bobs
And then yeah
And then yeah
As part of the merch is a bit of a Christmas special
We've asked her to produce some
Life With Nat wooden bulbles
That we're going to sell on the website
We sure are
Some memorabilia for everyone to
Add some joy to their Christmas tree
Can I just say
Because we're never sure of what we're doing
But it could be that the merch is out now
for all to buy.
Oh, when's this going out?
Monday.
Oh.
Very, very possible.
We could be launching today.
We could be launching today.
Happy March day.
But what if it isn't?
Then happy March day next week.
Oh, surely we've got it.
It's got to.
Monday.
Go like that.
Oh.
Can you see?
Maria is sporting a life with a brown jumper.
We've got these in various colours.
Very cute
Oh my goodness
Where did you come from?
A very, very quick goodbye
All right I love you
Good night sweetheart
Night Joanie
Good girl darling
But she just appeared
I thought I heard the door
I thought I did
And there was no one
Yeah we've got these in various colours
Berg
Forest green
grey
We've got hoodies
T-shirts
Beanies
Lovely the beanie
You know I love a beanie people
Caps
Are you?
use my trolley token today.
Good.
Water bottle.
Yeah.
Shopping tote.
Lots of things.
Lots of bits and bobs.
Can't wait for all my stuff in one of those totes that you're due to give me this evening.
Have you got a tote here?
No.
No, we need to get sort of an order out.
We need to do a little order.
But yeah, we'd love your feedback.
Anything you think we're missing?
Or yeah, missing or colours or fit of things.
Obviously, you can't please everyone, but it is very important that we hear about.
from you.
Yeah.
And this is just to get out.
Exactly.
This is just the beginning.
We've got to get it out.
Everything.
This is what we should change the name at the point.
Working progress.
It's true actually.
Permanently working on it.
Yeah.
And we're also going to have a little limited edition candle for anyone that is
interested in that.
It's so cute.
So make sure you get your orders in if you do want one.
And then, yeah, obviously the Christmas decoration.
That's with Moora.
Lovely Sarah.
Yeah.
Yeah, lovely Sarah.
I just love the fact we're using indie businesses that we've used before.
You know Sarah.
So lovely, isn't it?
Yeah, and they've been amazing to thank you, ladies.
Brilliant.
So I've smashed the bulb balls and the candle, just throwing it out there.
Oh, yeah, it's true, actually.
It has come from you.
Thank you for those.
You're very welcome.
It's very good.
I'm glad I could be a part of it.
Well, you've got to be a part of fucking something.
Listen, I am your life.
Not worry about that.
That's niece is 20th of October pod.
listening to the pod
and Maria asked what would happen
if you didn't pay for prescriptions
by not being honest
I'll tell you
the NHS business authority
will send you a letter
telling you to prove it
or pay a £100 fine
Yeah, I'd chip my pants
So there you go
Thanks
Thank you
What if they thought
What if they thought it wasn't right?
Well this lady was claiming
Maternity exemption
Having just had a baby
believing it was an automatic thing
No no
The NHSBA was in touch
and asked me to pay a fine
as I didn't have proof
of my maternity exemption.
C-section scars,
stretch marks,
bags from no sleep
and a whole baby
apparently on evidence.
But when I,
sorry,
when I,
after I had the baby,
I never showed any.
Never,
no,
I never asked.
I didn't show anything.
I don't remember.
I feel like the dentist.
But maybe,
oh no,
what's the thing you get?
They might just do a random check
every now and again.
Yeah.
No, the dentist.
You get,
if you're in employment.
They give you a form.
What's the thing?
thing in employment called you're Matt B1 Matt B1 yeah oh yes I think something like that
I had an email actually I had an email about that and that was for the dentist I must have
had one for the doctors as well I don't know but yeah so that's fair and then have you got the
other message about um no you were going to say that sorry I forgot the name the lady but um
well it's about basically you can pay something a yearly thing if you know you're going to have
numerous amounts of
pharmaceutical problems
you can pay a certain amount
No it is it
can't find it
If you go on like the Gov website
I can just see unicorns and stuff
I'm sure it's like
It was something like
39 pounds a month
Or 115 for the year
Oh sorry yeah
And it's unlimited
And then she said
But you know you only really need
Something like four prescriptions
To cover it
To cover it
Which I guess is in a month
Every prescription is what, tenor, I feel like?
No, it's more than that, surely.
I think it's gone up.
Isn't it like 15 pounds or something?
No, I'm sure I'm 12.
Well, Maria knows.
I've been buying them for fun.
And what age are they free for children until?
16, I think.
I mean, I've never paid for a prescription for the girls.
No, it is incredible, really.
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I had a lovely message from Ange.
Yes.
It's quite long, but it was pretty spesh.
She sent me something about picky bits.
I mean, everyone sends us things about picky bits.
I love it.
She said, we also say all the best when we cheers with drinks as well as Salute Italian family connections.
Family in Italy too.
We have so many similar connections to be fair,
like to buy for the 5,000 at Christmas or to reduce prezies to just the kids.
Egg and lasagna, like my mama Rose, always make.
I have nieces and nephews that I adore, like Natty has you both.
Love listening to you all on the pod.
Like so many say, I do feel part of your amazing family when I listen to the pod
because it all feels so familiar and you all have such a special bond just like my family do
and I love that.
Although you won't know it, Nat, her pod, Mark, you ladies, auntie and Tony have all been
my therapy while my mum was poorly with dementia right through to when she passed away
and the first year without her.
I've listened to the pod since day one, never missed an episode
and I tell my family and friends to listen to
I don't normally text or leave voicemails
but today just felt right after I saw that picky bits book
I know this is a much longer message and that likes for the pod
so apologies that love to you all
That's so lovely thank you so much
Love that thank you so much
Also I think it's such a mad thing that people have never missed an episode
It's a lot, it's a big commitment
That is, because, I mean, I'm a podcast listener and I've, I don't, there's not a pod that I've listened to that is even yours.
No, not being rude, I haven't listened to every single one.
Absolutely.
I try to, but yeah, that's.
I don't try.
How many of you listen to you?
It's better to say how many?
Three?
Maybe.
Maybe even that's, maybe, what, fully start to finish, probably not.
That is wild.
It's good.
Do you listen to any?
No.
I don't listen to any podcasts
What'd you do?
How'd you relax?
How do you unwind?
Play my games, listen to music.
It is actually doing the book tour.
I spoke about it actually with a pop with Tony last week,
so I won't go into it,
but it's actually amazing how many people don't know how to listen to a podcast.
Well, no, I know how to listen to it.
No, but there are, what I'm saying is there's a huge audience of people
who have no idea what it is,
how to put it on their phone.
It's huge
Yeah no that doesn't surprise me
See I couldn't like say
Oh I'm just going to sit down
And listen to a podcast
No
I'd never do that
Oh you're potter
Yeah I'm doing
But they're not
And I was thinking now I'm back home
I had some music on earlier
While I was cleaning and doing stuff
I could put a podcast on
But it has to be the right kind of podcast
Or the moment
There's nothing that I'm
I listen to a lot when I'm going to sleep
But I'll say I'll listen to them
I'm asleep
So I keep trying to listen to the same bloody one
Yeah I listen to David
And Joe, when I'm cleaning, I listen to Chatabix.
And I've missed loads.
But obviously Joe now is doing debriefs of the traitors, and it's just unbelievable.
Yeah, maybe I'll, maybe I'll listen to that.
Because I do like that one, I was listening to that.
It's very chilled, but I do love them.
I don't know.
I just put music on.
I just like, or a game show.
You love a quiz, don't you?
Or, yeah, of an evening, I'll sit and play my game.
I don't think pods are listening too much in the evening.
You know what I mean?
It depends what you're doing.
You know, I've got a beautiful mug downstairs
and the potter, the lovely, I've forgotten her name,
the lovely potter, she works all day
and listens to pods all day in her studio.
It depends what you're doing, what your job is.
And now I find I did used to listen to them in the car.
Yes.
But the reason I probably don't is the car is a time
that I get where I can make phone calls
because the baby's quite happy or if he's asleep
or he's just sat there.
So that is my time to call.
Yeah.
I don't really do it at home.
If he's there, one day, you know.
Or you get to an age where you can't, because they're like,
can you put this song on for me?
You can you put this song for me?
I mean, today me and Eliza drove home from where, listening, where?
Listening to nurse-we-wimes, didn't even, no, but he didn't even,
he was absolutely fine, and I just forgot they were still on my phone.
All the way home.
Brilliant.
I know this is a weird question.
Go on.
But it's serious.
No, it's mad.
I'll have to take a photo.
It always makes me feel weird when you say this.
You never know what's coming, do you?
You never know what's coming.
So I bought a plant.
Yeah.
It's like that, but it's not.
It's smaller, but it's on that stick.
Yeah.
What is that stick?
Just to help it grow.
Is it just like the trunk?
Is it not part of the plant?
Oh.
Oh, what, like a bamboo stick?
It's like a support, isn't it?
The middle thing, is that what it is, yeah?
Yeah.
Yes.
So it's like a cheese plant, but it's more like that.
Okay
It's not got the
So it's in the bathroom
It's in the big dipteak candle
I've used that as a plant pot
Lovely
Obviously I'm taking care of it
It's growing
Yeah
What
Fuck me
Oh my god
It's growing guys
No
But he's looking after it
And it's growing
It's a living plant
That's growing
What is your question
My question is
It seems to grow quite fast
That means it is happy and thriving
In a moist environment
It's in the bathroom
Yes what I said
You've just said it's in the bathroom
Which is why I know it's in a moist environment
So it's in the corner
The toilets next to it
It's growing
It's gone over the toilet seat
Extending off
It's then growing up
By the window
It sounds like the little shop of horror
Do you remember that?
I don't like it
Oh my goodness
Was it gold?
We're going to have a hundred and fifty messages
I know shit
It's on the tip of my tongue
Well she's Googling it
Oh I can't
No let's let me
Give us a clue
How many people are going to be shouting
At this pod
It'll be shouting
it's called a
piranha
no that's what I'm thinking
it's not a piranha that's a fish
no I know it is
is it like the thing from a Mario
Super Mario
it's got a name
Venus flycatcher
thank you
Venus flytrap
I mean it's from the
little shop of horrors
should know that
yeah anyway so yeah
so what do I do
you need to
are they bendy
you know is the plant
quite bendy
I don't know.
Because you need to maybe train it back.
You need to bring it back on itself
and then put it back onto the bamboo.
Or you just cut it.
You can just trim it.
Are you allowed to do that?
Yeah, of course you are, yeah.
Oh, I feel like then I'm killing it.
No.
Oh, I can't cut it.
You're just prune it.
Fine.
I don't know.
I don't know that bathroom's going to be overrun it.
Well, no, that's what I thought?
I thought, what am I going to, it's going to just take over the whole bathroom?
But it means it's really happy, you know?
Yeah, that's good.
It's thriving, yeah.
I'll straight your photo, but.
Yeah, guys, this is so dull.
It's not dull.
People really like it, actually.
I know, but come on.
Yeah, all my plants had a good time.
I know, I've had one and I killed it.
You bought it for me.
Thank you for all your pictures, by the way.
I know Elia said it's dull, but it isn't.
Of the seed Advent calendar that you sent me.
What a lovely Advent calendar.
There's one with all different seeds in it each day.
Is it?
No, I don't know what else.
That's true.
I am actually going to plant some seeds this year.
Every year I buy the seeds.
Where?
No, but like, I just, I just,
I really want
some colour
I just want some random
little like a few tulips
A little poppy
A little daffodip
Just bits
So I'm just going to
sprinkle them everywhere
Hope for the best
And hope for the best
I'll try to do that
I don't know if you bought me it
I did
I think they'd pulled them all up
In the weeds
It's quite hard
It does depend
If you let your
Garden go like a wild
It's got to be very very wild
So people don't cut their grass
They let it, and they have that meadow.
My neighbour's got a wild area and it's beautiful.
Really?
Just the whole area.
All just everything.
And I really like it.
I really like it.
And speaking of things thriving, my pampas grass at the front.
Yeah, the old swingers.
I know it is the old swingers grass.
I planted it, didn't I?
It means you were swingers.
Yeah, at the front.
Oh, it does mean that, yeah.
Oh, well.
Keeps in a bow and all that.
Absolutely beautiful.
Is it?
Mine's in the bag.
I had three, year one.
then seven
and I think this year
I've got like 13
Oh well so you're proper
And I've got to cut them all
So if you want any
No I do
I would like some of those please
Yeah
You need you can exchange them
For the peacock
If ever's bad luck
Everyone said they're bad luck
And I shouldn't have them up
What
I haven't had any bad luck
Fuck them
There's a little spoiler
Coming in now
Before this voice note
I am just listening to the pod
And I wanted to just send a quick message
because you guys are talking about getting ready for Christmas.
I am in a little bit of a dilemma.
My husband is organising a family holiday for my big 40th birthday.
We fly apparently on the 13th December and we're not back until Christmas Eve.
So obviously I've got to be very organised this year.
However, our little girl has started asking about advent calendars.
And the elf on the shelf, what am I going to do? How am I going to do this? I don't even know where we're going. And I won't know until my birthday, which is the 8th of December. So if you have any thoughts on how I can achieve this or what I can do, I'd be really, really grateful. I hope you having a lovely day. And it's Lucy down in sunny North Devon. Bye.
Lucy, thank you so, so much for that message.
That's a hard one.
No, no, you just take it all with you.
Just take it with you.
Oh, day one, 13th, bang, out the suitcase.
Hello.
Well, no, it's got to be at night, though.
No, obviously the next morning they're out of the suitcase.
Oh, he got in the suitcase.
Raided the mini bar one night, down by the pool.
Oh, can't do that.
Out on the balcony.
Well, she doesn't know where she's.
going yet either oh true well it's quite a long time it's like 10 days so I'm assuming far far
warm but that is ag for many reasons yeah I mean it's beautiful you've got a lovely
lovely surprise she doesn't know where she's going yeah it's really lovely I mean it would be my
worst nightmare you just got to be super super organised that would be like an enemy
Christmas Eve yeah snorty how are you getting the food in maybe they're maybe or they're maybe
they're not cooking they're not hosting and what about if the plane that was me sorry
the plane got uh cancelled delayed that would stress me out yeah no it's too close but don't
don't put any more fear in sorry it'll be all right right anyway just lucy be organized
take the elf with you not a problem you can get up to lots of mischief in the hotel room and it's
easy in it a little like you say it is but when you're on holiday it's just when you're on holiday
They have a few drinks.
It's another thing to remember.
But you will.
It'll be fine.
Do you know what?
A few days you might just be hanging about in the same situation.
He's on holiday.
He's on, whack him up, make him a little thing on the balcony.
He could do a little note pad.
He could say, I'm so relaxed.
I'm having a few days off.
Yeah, you're fine.
You'll nail that.
The Advent calendar.
Just take it with you.
Just take one with you.
I know, but they are quite bulky now.
Yeah, they can be.
Well, no.
Just buy a chocolate one.
You're not going to, not everyone does that.
Okay.
I was looking at Advent calendars today, guys.
But take one with you, have two.
Get one of the dairy milk ones from Sainos.
Well, I'll take two with you now.
No, just take the chocolate one with you.
And then tell them when they get home, the other one,
if they have got a special one, a Lego one, a jewelry one.
They've got one.
They've got one.
I'm sorry.
I think you'll find a lot of people don't do that.
Well, no, but that's what Maria is insinuating.
There's many people that don't.
There are a lot of people that do.
I would beg to differ.
You're not for kids?
I beg to differ.
I beg to differ.
Well, I think the Advent calendar market are telling me different
because I've gone on there today and it's bamboo.
That may be the market.
I actually took a picture today, not for the pod,
but as we're talking about it, of the Advent calendars,
there's a fantastic Ferreira Roche.
Oh, I love a Ferreira.
But it's big.
Can we have a little look?
It's a biggie.
How much?
1750 at the moment.
But it's large.
It's sort of big.
Yeah, you're getting.
Getting Ferreros.
All you're getting is a different flavour one every day.
Yeah, that's decent.
I like, lovely.
Marks and Spencer's got a Wallace and Grommie.
I saw it.
I just want that because I'm obsessed.
Oh, I got chocolate.
Yeah.
They're cute.
Very cute.
What else?
I'll tell you what else I'm obsessed with.
These pyjamas that someone sent me.
Someone sent them to me as well, or to us.
Oh, cute.
Life with Nat, pajamas.
Well, someone from New Zealand sent me those.
Oh.
Saying you should get these for Nat.
Well, that was lovely, Neck.
Lovely Nephys who I had on the pod
who was working for River Island last year
and I had her on
and her contract has obviously continued
and she's got some fantastic jumpers
and beautiful pyjamas
Oh yeah well they had a similar pair last year
and they sold out like that
She has gone all green and pink
So I do wonder
Wicked, a bit wicked as well by the way
But all the best
Wicked
The film film
What pink and green
That's what it was last year
Oh
It's good, though, you're on trend
And all that
On trend
On trend
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Some of the designer advent calendars
Yes.
Are obscene the prices.
Really?
Talk to me.
Dipique.
How much was it last year?
I mean, I think it's four or just over now.
Oh, wow.
They're really going up.
It's a lot of money.
It's mad.
Yeah, I was shocked today.
I was just having a little nose.
What's the liberties one?
Oh, beautiful, it looks.
275.
It's always brilliant the liberties.
It looks beautiful.
Because of what's in it, it's so value for money.
I'm not going to use it all, though.
Yeah.
If you're a beauty person, but if you're a beauty person,
but if, if,
I always think the Liberty one is great value.
It's still a lot of money.
The M&S Bella Fraud one looks really good as well.
And if you spend over an amount, I think it's 35 quid,
but I think they're running out quick.
We can do a little...
We'll do one about Advent, I think, near at a time, no?
I think it would be lovely.
I just need everybody to...
If you could kindly send in all the Advent,
so we can try them from different designer.
Dior, Vogue.
Have you seen the Vogue one?
The Vogue one is beautiful.
Is there a vote one?
That's chunk, 600 quid, that one, I think.
Yeah, it's obscene.
What, more than the Dior one?
I haven't seen the Dior one.
Oh, is that gone up then.
Probably, I don't know.
Yeah, it's a lot.
But, no, I mean, we can just do some research and talk about some, there's loads now out there.
There's lots.
And there's some that are nice where it's not the whole, it's like 12 days of Christmas, which is quite nice.
No, I'm not.
The beautiful ones.
No, I have no interest at all.
If I have an Advent calendar and I've got 12 days, fuck off.
Oh, no, it's the 12 days.
Of Christmas, my true love gave to me.
First of December, Advent calendar.
But that is bollocks.
It is 12 days of Christmas.
I'm going to say one thing, and no one believes me, but it is true.
My favourite Advent.
Oh, the one with the pictures.
Always.
So predictable.
It's my absolute favourite.
What about our Advent candles that we didn't do burn last year?
I burnt mine.
What, the whole thing, gone.
Gone, Phanita.
I mean, I didn't do it over 24 days.
I thought I left it on piss one day and it all went down.
But it got burnt.
but I enjoyed it.
Well, I can't wait to do that this year
because I didn't do it last year.
Yeah, me too.
Did you get me like a big,
like gingerbread man?
Yeah, yeah.
It was a cute one, that baby one.
But they are lovely.
I won't buy you one again this year.
No, I'll love one.
I'll tell you what I need, Nat.
Why am I?
My large Joe Malone that you bought me
for when I first moved out
many, many years ago.
I'm on my final days of that.
Got a tiny bit left and it's beautiful.
So if you fancy getting me another one,
one got a deep one that's yours and jack's christmas present sorted love it what the candle yeah
love it though and it's the wild fig and cassero oh i was gonna ask you what it was that is um real
beautiful oh my god you'd be so proud of me do you know what i've been doing so we moved back in
on sunday lovely lovely lovely lovely nice to be home very nice to be home yeah and um we're sorting
all bits out and you know putting stuff back in cupboards and i know it's only day
But every morning, or Sunday wasn't morning, maybe it was afternoon,
I've been lighting an incense stick.
Lovely.
You'd be proud of me for that.
I'm fucking buzzing about that.
Positive energy one.
I think you bought it for me.
Lovely.
Well, if you bought me to love for Christmas.
You bought it for me, the blacker pinkish little thing.
That's my one.
What are they called?
Is it seen?
I've never had an incense from anyone.
I used to love my incense.
Well, you're buzzing.
She's been on Sheen again, isn't she?
I used to do the old nag champa.
I used to do the old nag champa at home.
When I used to do my taros, the nagchamp came out.
The fuck the nag chambre?
What's happened?
Oh, something's going on.
Oh, nothing.
She's bought me.
Something's happened.
She's done all stuff and we're talking about it.
She can't believe it.
Well, anyway, I'm burning them and they're beautiful.
Is it cedar wood?
No.
It wouldn't be cedar wood.
Possibly, yeah.
Why not?
I'm not sure if it was.
But yeah, really nice.
I'm really fucked off.
Why?
These socks, right, for my Pilates cost me 12 pounds.
A grip.
It was peeled off.
Oh, that's awful.
Hang on.
Pealed off or have you picked it?
No, it was hanging off.
You've sat there and you're picking them.
No, it was hanging off.
I've just ripped it off.
Well, have you got to have grips?
Yeah.
Because I got to have grips.
And how about you?
Because she's sat there picking them.
What's happened to your toenails?
She said earlier something's happened.
I don't know.
The other day I thought, oh, that toenail's really long.
And I was just touching it.
And then I was like, ah, that hurts a little bit.
And it's the middle, middle toe on the right foot.
Oh, don't.
And I've gone like that and I'm touching it the whole thing.
It's just coming off.
I'm too scared to fully pull it off.
Oh, no, don't.
Oh, please don't.
You need to put a plaster around it, Elia.
Look at that.
Oh, don't.
Oh, it's all the whole thing.
You just got to take it off.
No, don't, Elia.
Take it off.
and the bottom.
Take it off.
Basically, one side and the bottom.
It's just hanging on by the other side.
I said take it off.
That has reminded me of a message, sorry.
Must play this.
Just put tape around it.
Because you two.
Sorry.
Shoes.
What shoes are you wearing?
She's in trainers.
But why is that?
No, I'd say those new boots.
What am I going to do?
Why has that happened?
That's weird.
But yeah.
Yeah, I don't know.
Thank God it's the winter, because I can get that off
and start a regrowth.
Start growing again.
Maybe Marie, you can look after it.
Like you look after your fucking plant.
They'll be throwing.
Like it in the bathroom.
You need a moisteria.
Stick it up at his ass.
Don't do it.
Wow.
Did she just fart?
Oh, she's done.
She ain't done a celia.
She's done a celia.
How brilliant was she?
When she read, I'm sorry, I've just farted.
She farted again as well.
Oh, no.
No, I didn't.
No, I didn't.
Better out than in
That was so funny
When she did that
But talking of the bush
We had this message from Laura
And I do feel
I agree with her
You've missed a trick
Really maybe not
Girls you've missed a trick there
You could have gotten that
Bush knickers
For Christmas
Because she's the bush
And the mask
Maybe we have
Those skim things
Yeah we know
I mean
I could have done
It would have been a cracking joke, but it's a fucking expensive one, Laura.
I was going to say, how much are they?
Maybe I'll get someone, we'll get someone Amazon or something.
Everyone, I'll probably have a hundred messages from people.
No, I know.
It's a murking.
Oh, yeah, I mean.
It's a murking.
That still means nothing to me.
What does that mean?
Oh, we've had so many messages.
A murking.
Someone said, well, don't you buy two pairs and wear them as earmuffs?
What's a murking?
No idea.
What, do you know the meaning of that way?
I did it.
I had the meaning.
It did a beard, isn't it?
No.
Merkin, I've never heard such word.
Yep, someone sent it to me.
If you look it up.
A murkin is a pubic wig historically used to conceal shaved pubic areas.
Oh.
Or the effects of disease and of, that doesn't make sense.
And that's Google.
The effects of disease and syphilis.
There you go.
Today, Merkings are used as decorative or erotic accessories with their use.
They probably use them in like crazy horse and stuff
We should get one for Mark
Mood-on Rouge
We should get one for Mark
Why?
Because I think, yeah, we should get one
Yeah, is that what they use, yeah
In like the shows?
Yeah
Got it
Oh, right
Burlesque, all that jazz
I reckon you'd wear one
No, I wouldn't
I don't need one
That was weird
What that laughed
It sounded like your dad
And me
Oh dear
It's all a laugh
Is it?
It won't be tomorrow night
Traders
Tomorrow night
I'm missing the
And I'm missing the traitors
Got it
Honestly
Should we just come straight home then
Do you come straight home
So we're going to miss the traitors
Finishes at half seven
We'll be home by nine
What finished at half seven
Oh perfect
Half six till half seven
Half six
Is that out
When this comes out
When this comes out
We would have done our first
Working in Progress show
Yeah, absolutely
And it is Lington
Sorry, what are you doing
Going out after?
Well, I just said
When you do something like that
You want to decompress for an hour
Yeah
You just want to have a little drink
And by the time you get out
Have a chat
Get somewhere
It's half an hour
It goes very quickly
So, um
Got a cab picking us up at quarter nine
That's all right
But we're home
You can watch the traitors
In the car on the way back
We're home
No, we're home in time
So then watch the traitors
What's you talking about?
No, you're not
Not, babe, because it starts at nine.
No, but I've got time before going to bed to watch the traitors.
Probably for you.
I'm not watching it in a car.
I'm not watching it in a car.
Quarter to nine, yeah, I'm not sure.
I'm at half ten.
Yeah, and then I'm going to bed.
I've got to get up, go London the next day.
All right.
What are you doing the next day?
What day is it?
Thursday.
The third day.
I'm getting my pedicure done early doors, actually.
Once I've dropped Johnny into school because I've got my nails done,
But Ling, who's the best at the feet
because she scrapes around every...
Oh, you're a manky feet.
But they hurt...
I love that.
They hurt so much at the moment and I can't wait.
And they went pedicure and I said, where's the girl?
They said, oh, she's not here.
I said, I'm not bothered.
I wait for her.
So I said, I'll come back Thursday morning
and get my pedicule done.
And then maybe just run around
like a headless chicken
trying to find something to wrap up
for my fiancé.
No, I've never known.
And thanks for all the ideas, guys.
we were overwhelmed.
I had a few, but they were...
Nothing.
They were really lovely.
We had a couple of things.
It was experiences and things, which are brilliant,
but I'm kind of doing that anyway.
When this comes out, it's over, so it's fine.
But I'm doing, we're going away and we're doing things.
It was just sort of something to wrap up, but he is,
I even asked chat GPT.
I gave all the information.
I said he loves this, he loves that.
Would they come back with?
A lot of shit, really.
It's really hard, actually, isn't it?
But I think we put the pressure on
because Mark doesn't actually want for a lot
he's very
I think he'd be very happy and grateful
with anything
Oh no he is
The point is we can't even think of anything
Anything we suggest
No you don't like that
No
And then I suggest something
Maria's like no
And then so again we have
We argue I had a great idea
I've done the apple wine by the way
Oh nice
Did 12 bottles
Oh what
Just so it's something that arrives.
Oh, what?
The apple dessert wine from Cornwall that he likes.
Twelve bottles that will last him a lifetime.
It lasts him a few days.
But yeah, it's just so hard.
And I started looking at personalised this,
and I thought, what am I doing?
He doesn't, there's stuff from Christmases that are still in bags.
Yeah.
We've got nowhere to put stuff.
You're buying stuff for the sake of buying it.
And I'm not doing it.
It's the same for Christmas.
I'm not doing it.
It's like, I'm just.
Elliot came up with a cracker for Mark today
No, she's not interested
Don't say because it's Christmas coming, thanks
Oh, I'll say it will be good for Christmas
Oh, whatever
Great idea
Yeah, we'll do it, I'm like, yeah, I'll do it
I'm like, no, no, it's my idea
What do you mean?
What's it going to do with your measly 10 pound voucher
We all chip in
Fuck you
No, it is hard thinking of things for people, isn't it?
And you want to be a bit thoughtful
because you're like, it's a big birthday, it's a milestone
But if you don't give a shit, why should we?
Well, it's not giving a shit.
It's just things I'm doing are memories.
Yeah, no, it's nice.
I don't know what else to do.
And I've said to him, do you want this, do you want that?
He's like, no, do you want clothes?
I can't fit him in the wardrobe.
So there's no point.
It's complete waste.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There you go.
Yeah, and we're going to have it all over Christmas as well to buy.
Oh, right.
We're going to do a nice Christmas gift special.
I know we had a little chat to Lucy tonight about her dilemma on holiday.
But let's, I think, in a week or two, let's, let's,
do, gifts, age groups, what to buy, price points, get your questions in 0-7-8-28-19-19,
secret centres, do they help people?
Yeah, I must say, guys, the Smith's catalogue.
Yeah, so good.
Very good.
Then the Argos one.
Very good.
Really good.
Like the kids sit there and they read it.
Yeah, several things.
It is really helpful.
I remember, like, one year that no people couldn't get hold of them.
Do you remember that?
me and they posted me one, do you remember?
But the Smith ones?
No, they were like, they're all gone.
They're gone.
No, they were gone.
Oh no.
Zoe.
Zoe, my lovely old childminder,
posted me one.
Oh, and they posted me one.
They did, they did.
No, Zoe did.
And then I got a message from them and said,
I'll post you one each year.
Yeah.
Have they?
No.
They're free, though.
No, but they could have gone.
It was crazy times.
It might have been COVID.
I like.
it.
It's lovely.
It's nice paper looking at something.
You read the book yet?
Do I got to not do it anymore?
Yeah, they do.
It's just not as good.
It's not as good.
No, I don't have a book.
No one's giving me a book.
What are we doing about book club?
Do we need to have a little...
We need to do it soon, yeah.
I've got lots of people with messages.
I find it very odd because it's my book.
Wish we'd never done it.
Oh, really?
Yeah, it's just weird.
I don't want to sit and talk about my book.
That's all I've bloody done.
All right.
Well, I'll do it on my own.
If any of you read it, we could do it.
But I will sit here and thank everybody
But yes
And we need to come up with the next book
I think
We had lots of good
Loads
Loads
The Christmas
I think we need to do
Christmas November December
There's too many books
Don't you agree
Yeah
I found one for December
I had to buy it
It wasn't the Bible
It's
And I feel like you will get on board with this
It's an Advent book
Oh that's cute
Oh that's clever
You rip it open
And it's a little bit of book each day.
How good?
Yeah, lovely.
So I want to do that for December.
Someone's done that.
Yeah.
It's a shame we could have done that.
What good idea.
Well, no, because you wouldn't have thought of it.
That's giving you the idea.
We can't write it.
Why are we going to do an Advent book?
People love it.
We could do an Advent cookbook.
We could.
That could be really good.
People are desperate.
They're desperate for it.
But what's the book about, sorry?
It's a Christmas sort of novel, romance.
Oh, perfect.
Lovely.
But you rip it open each day.
It can't be a day.
It might be a day, a book, a page a day.
No, it's sort of a little chapter.
It's like three.
Lovely, perfect.
But it's just a lovely fan and you do it each day.
So that, and then we'll pick one from all of our.
Wonderful.
But I'm looking forward to those.
That'll be really good.
Lovely.
Cracking.
Oh, lovely.
Right, ok-dokey then.
So you're going to go to the vape shop for me tomorrow.
Maybe.
Good.
I'm going to see you tomorrow.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
And we're going to have a nice chat about Islington and nostalgia and fun.
I need to like some stuff.
staff? Not really, just your memories of...
Not sure I can talk about my memories.
Leaving me at the library, yeah, you can.
What about my mate?
One that used to scare the shit out of me.
Mad Mary?
Yeah, well, I'd say that. Perfect, all right.
And Els, we're at nine and a half thousand followers.
Oh, cracking. That is so good.
So we need 500.
Come on. 10.5. 500's a lot, though, isn't it?
Yeah, it is a lot. You can get there. You can get there before Crimbo.
100%. That is mad. That is mad.
really, isn't it?
It'd be lovely to hit that 10, wouldn't it?
So nice.
I mean, that's ambitious for this year.
But yeah, anyone you can recommend, please.
At Nat's Nises.
Do, do, do.
Tear that's up.
And on that note, thank you, as always for listening.
0778-1919.
We've got a fantastic festive period ahead.
Some lovely festive books.
We're going to do lots and lots to do with gifts, prep, all of that.
Plus live shows if you're coming to see us.
It's an exciting time.
0778-8 2019-19 and I'll talk to you Thursday.
See you later, girls.
See you.
I love you.
Bye.
Thank you.
