Life with Nat - EP177: Scraping the Barrel #34 - Choo choo! It's the innuendo train to the pub

Episode Date: December 4, 2025

Some Christmas magic chat, so this ep is for the grown-ups. Also, some cheeky cheeky chat, but is it accidental? If you want the answer to that, I'd give it to you... or you could listen to the ep! AND Nat & Marc get out to the pub through the rain. Enjoy! xx Big shoutout to The Book Nook and their subscription service ⁠https://www.booknookshop.co.uk/⁠ Please subscribe, follow, and leave a review. xxx You can find us in all places here; ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podfollow.com/lifewithnat/view⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ We're on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/lifewithnatpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Nat's insta: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@natcass1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Neice's insta: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@natsnieces⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Tony's insta: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@tonycass68⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Linny's insta: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@auntielinny.lwn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ THE BIG CHRISTMAS LIVE SHOW 7th December ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- claphamgrand.com/event/live-with-nat-at-christmas/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Book Club: November's book - All Together for Christmas by Sarah Morgan & December's book (optional extra for the speedy readers) - A Heart for Christmas: Advent Romance by Sophie Jomain Nat’s solo chats - any rants always welcome!  Scraping the Barrel - SCAN AND SHOP VIRGIN NO LONGER! Bonce vs list! - Are you a list maker? Always collecting for Nostalgia Fest! What’s brewing with the Nieces - are we all skipping the end of summer, all of autumn and going straight to Christmas - Nat’s door is! Group chat ettiquette & pranks. Nice Lorraines… get in touch! Advent calendars & gift recommendations v. welcome! Things we’re nagging with Linny about - More lateness stories and some cleaning questions, please! The Tony talks chatter - Keep your DIY questions coming, also open to some saucy two paragraph stories for Tony to read out at the Southend show - think cheeky postcards (both in tone and length)! Can we make Tony an influencer and get him any freebies?  TBC Cultural differences ep - inspired by Linny’s Mediterranean heritage and her & Ellia's Italian trip, we'd love to hear about the cultural differences you've noticed between the UK and basically ANYWHERE else!  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get no frills, delivered. Shop the same in-store prices online and enjoy unlimited delivery with PC Express Pass. Get your first year for $2.50 a month. Learn more at pceexpress.ca. I'm worried about my hair. Oh, here we go. Here we go.

Hang on a minute. Now we're doing the odd social media video. We're going to start getting makeup. Don't you mind about that? I cannot believe what I'm watching. Look, the thing is, when you're doing video on a podcast... Have you seen what you look like tonight? You look like Mariah Carey.

You're covered in glitter. Do I? Yes. Where? Absolutely covered in the stuff. Anyway, put that down now. Put it down. How am I covered in...

Welcome to Life With Nat, everybody. I hope you're really good, and I hope you are enjoying your week. Thursday. Thursday. First week of December nearly over. Blink, and it'll be gone. So enjoy every minute, everybody. That's why we start a little bit earlier,

because it flies by like a rat up a drain pipe. I can't believe I'm covered in glitter. Covered. How, though? I know how. Go on. You know the door display. Yeah.

There's a large gold leafy sort of thing that has been placed in a rather unfortunate position. Yeah, it's going to get moved. I've tried that earlier. You're not moving it. I was going to get snipped off. If you touch it, I'll snip something off.

What are you going to snip off? A Mrs. Bobbitt style. Do not. What's Mrs. Bobbitt? Mrs. Bobbitt? Fuck off. Don't swear. You don't know about Mrs. Bobbitt?

By the way, there's a warning on this episode because potentially we're going to talk about Christmas stuff. Little spoiler. Don't listen with the magic ones. Who's Annie Bing? Anine. And I'm even probably saying that wrong. There's probably Annine.

Who is that? I don't know. Why are you wearing it then? Because I like the clothes. I like the colour scheme and I like the design. Would that hat not be better without the logo? No. Okay.

Do you like the hat? Not really, no. It's got some writing on it that you don't even... The hat would be better lost for words rather than me, is what I'm going to say. I'm very warm actually in it. In the hat. Nothing to do with the sheep skin... Sorry.

Sheep's wool top that you're wearing. It's not a sheep's wool. What is it then? 87% polyester. There we go. 10% wool. Could that have anything to do of you being hot? Possibly.

But I've got a hat here because I've had the hat on all day so I can't take the hat off. Well, I could. but I'll look like Me, when I was doing my hair a minute ago I would look like a murderer Or a paedophile

What? Look at my hair Imagine it in a black and white The new Rose West that's why I have to have my hat on okay it's the choice of hat that I find interesting not the hat

wearing I like my hat leave me alone Anna Lisa bought me this I love it Did she get it free Was it being handed out So you advertised the company

One of the best presents I've had for a long time Do you know what When you walk up to Wimbledon They sometimes give out like stellar I love the a hat?

Yeah. You gave it to me. I wore it on holiday. Yeah, they give them to you. I know, Ellie, I couldn't believe I was wearing it. You wear that? She couldn't believe it. That was, surely in the shop, they'd give that out for free.

They're quite expensive, actually. But you're wandering about with the writing on the hat. Mark, do yourself a favour. Right. Stop talking about it. You don't like designer clothes, we get it. It's very lucky for me. I like a design.

No, no, no. No. Oh, no, it's fine. I'd like designer clothing. Oh, no, it's okay. No, I do. No, you don't. Just not when it's got...

I like nice designer clothing that hasn't got logos on. What sort of designer clothing do you have without? What designer clothing in there? I've got some really nice roll necks. I have. You'd look good in a bin bag. I've got like Matarlan stuff. Yes.

Got all sorts of stuff. Your M&S stuff's lovely though, polos and stuff. That's designer. It's been designed, isn't it? I tell you now, M&S is better than most designers, so there you go. Right. Did you see my advert? Should you have a little chat about it? I haven't spoken about it yet.

Okay. A lot of messages, people are very happy for me because he's still doing his hair. This is unbelievable when I'm trying to tell the story. I'm listening. I've had a lot of people this week really sympathised with me. You're not listening to me I'm kind of bald Yeah that won't be long darling

The one thing you have to deal with as a man I think it's okay I think it's okay I think I'm not alone in saying I think it's okay I've got plenty to deal with The one thing Hair loss you have to deal with

I think you're okay Yeah Can I go back to my story Okay People were extremely excited To see my little crisp must party food advert for Marks and Spencers with the Tom Allen because I talk about it all the time

and I'm a true fan of MNS so it was quite nice that that came out on Monday highlight of my week A proud moment How much did you pay them to be in it? Last week we were talking about Algo the rhythm what were we talking about algor rhythms

algor rhythms yeah oh yeah let me guess you've been hit with loads of more loads more Christmas stuff in the last week has Mark seriously still not understood

how algorithms work you were very patient with him I recruited a friend last week friend last week. She keeps leaving me voice notes about things that happened in the pod months ago and I have to try to work out what she's going on about through the laughing. You can download the app but don't need to. You can listen on the site. Eclectic. Laughing face. I need to get some picks up to. We have been here five years and have sod all on the walls. Fad Pods as always happy Thursday. What a lovely, lovely message. But I don't know who it's from.

Oh, that's a shame. Sorry. No name, no? No. Please leave your names. Or write your names. Anyway, did you hear what she said at the beginning? You don't understand how an algorithm works. Okay. This is the next one for you. Right. Morning that. It's Nikki from Lincolnshire. I'm out walking my dogs this morning. I'm listening to your pod

where you and Mark are talking about your algor rhythm. So funny. And Mark, you sound like my husband defending the fact that his algorithm is full of what I'm assuming as supposed to be women

bodybuilders in the gym, but all there seems to be is extreme close-ups of them doing squats and of their tivages. And I don't know that my body does that when I'm working out in the gym. But anyway, of course it's the algorithm, Mark. Come on.

Who was that? Right there. I forgot. Love you both a lot. I love all the pods. I can't pick a favourite. But listening to you and Mark is just so funny. It's just like me and my husband.

Anyway, keep going. Have a lovely, lovely Christmas time in all the positives leading up to it. Bye for now. And the lady's name was I don't know Oh for goodness sake But what a lovely message Lovely message

Shame her husband's algorithms Is that though I'm not too sure Can I just say How I've been drawn into That same bracket as her husband But I've been talking about your algorithm Being Christmas trees

And all of a sudden I sound like her husband Sorry But actually I don't think I'd do Do. My algorithm at the moment is signwriting. Can we go to North Wales again, please? No. I really, really want to go there.

I've got that proper withdrawal, Simpsons. I'm not being there. I bet you are. It's fucking just steam engines everywhere, even in the road to steam engines. It's like a cheese dream. I need to go. Pardon? I need to go there. There's a lot of other places. No, I'm right.

Joni wants to go to Madagascar. I'd like to go on a safari. I think North Wales can wait for a little while. I like North Wales. It was beautiful, but... Yeah, going back there. We're going in the summer, so I can just go to that cove and sunbathe, and you can just get on the trains.

Nice. Nice. It's all right. Read a book, have a walk, you get on there. We meet up, have a lovely meal and a drink. Perfect. How good is that? Brilliant.

And I'll fly up there. You can fly up there. We could go separate. Yeah? Mm-hmm. Nas, hi. Carla here from Ireland. Just to say, I think you're right to be irritated,

it. And I think Mark is 100% wrong because the only person that I have seen so far on my algorithm is Stacey Solomon putting up a Christmas tree. And that's because I follow Stacey. I have had no random Christmas tree or even indeed Christmas decoration-y typey stuff. I mean, at the moment, mine's all cosmetics and black variety because I'm a skincare freak. But at the same time, you know, I think it is slightly different. And yes, of course, you wouldn't be seeing that in March or April because sure, that's not Christmas. So Mark does have a point there at least, but you know something? Sometimes I'm not quite sure how you don't give them a slap upside the head on some of these scrapings of the barrels.

You are very funny and you obviously love each other a huge amount. But I think occasionally now you wouldn't be wrong to be irritated. Anyway, first of a message, don't usually do this, but I had to say something. Thanks a mill. Love the pod. Cheers. Bye. Jesus, I love the Irish. And what's her name? Nass hi, Carla here from... Carla.

Right, Carla. Carla. Carla. I love the Irish. I think Carla's... At the Irish. The lady talks a lot of sense. Of course you're not going to get Christmas trees in April.

You do have a point there. It's December. Right. However, people's Instagram feeds are not filled with Christmas decorations. Because I look at everything, Christmas every day. Mine is filled with it. Right. Do you understand now how an algorithm works?

Yes. Great. But I still agree that I agree with my past self because you're going to get Christmas ads in your social media because it is Christmas time. I think you're funny. I know how an algorithm works.

I've always known an algorithm works. It's based on what you watch a lot of. Yes. But at Christmas How are yours? I just got Christmas adverts Painting sign writing

Some choo-choo's? Yeah Morning Nat Hope everyone okay Listening to you and Mark Choo-choo This morning made me laugh I went to London for the day

Last Tuesday and oh my goodness it was so fast paced on the tubes no way i would commute like that every day i've been working for the same company for nearly 40 years so i've been coming to the same place since i was 18 can't believe it all feel like the old biddy of the office now love lisa from hole that's a long time to be at work isn't it 40 years since the age of 18 the same office every day that is mad, isn't it? Yeah, I mean, but if you enjoy it, brilliant. Fantastic, I just can't imagine.

I think it's brilliant, but I don't know about you, but being freelance, I mean, I was in the same place for a very long period of time, spread over a couple of different decades, but... Only of 10 years off in the middle. Yeah. Yeah. So I do know what driving to him from the same place is. but then did have a little bit of

variation if you like, you know, the old quiz show or not much, but a little bit. And you weren't doing it like nine to five religiously, were you? No. But no wonder she feels overwhelmed, getting on the tube. I bet. Do you think you could have done her an office job?

Yes, definitely. The same place every day. I would hopefully, would have moved from one place to enough. but maybe your state or say like your brother did work in one place and working as well at the ladder yes so yeah absolutely I could have done that I mean the ultimate place I could have worked which unfortunately by the time I was a working age

it wasn't quite the same but I would have loved to have worked in the same place continually doing my job but working in the same place very envious of everyone who did do that That's interesting There's something nice, isn't there, about the familiarity, I think Of where you know, you know everyone Security, friends

Yeah, make that makes a lot of sense Hmm Interesting Why is that interesting I just find it interesting All of it Depends what job you're doing as well, to be fair Oh yeah, but she must like

what she does. Obviously she's in an office and you're not an old biddy, Lisa, may I just add, not having any of that. You said nearly 40 years since you're 18, knocking on 60, young woman. Spring chicken. You were speaking

about the calendar's last pod. Yes. I've still not done them because stuff keeps getting in the way. Which incidentally, you did say we were going to go to the pub later. I just thought we could pop there. Yes. Quick drink, a couple of drinks, a few things to organise.

Okay. Maybe a little bit of podding. Who knows? Okay, yeah, of course, yeah. You were saying about the calendars, yeah. Yes. I feel Mark's calendar pressure. I do the calendars and diaries.

It's so stressful. Different picks for different people. I'm usually doing them burning the midnight oil, but so worth it to see the smiles. 18 years in and so invested. Michelle from Welling, aka Bazel 72 on Insta. Oh,

Basil 72 gets a shout-out. What about Camera underscore Mark at what? No. Oh, you're really there. You're near there. What is it? At camera underscore mark. Oh, at camera underscore Mark.

With a C. Yes, but the C's on the end. It's M-R-C. Yeah. Someone introduced me the other day. and they said this is Mark with a C and I turned around to the person

introduced me and said it's all right he hasn't got to pronounce it and I thought that was quite good very good yeah I like that yeah anyway do you want to talk about the message

that you just heard from Michelle isn't it lovely 18 years she's been doing them and she is right it is a lot of stress and she did what

stop one She's winding me up. Are the calendars? But 18 years, and she says she burns the midnight oil to get them done. But you can't beat the smiles on people's faces. It is worth it, darling. You say that. It's a lot of effort.

I know, but for the smiles. Oh, there's loads of smiles. Yeah. I mean, I just get one of them moans all the time about it. The other one sort of goes, oh, brilliant. What are you doing with that? Okay, sorry. What's his name?

Mark, with a C. Cuck. Very good. There's not a bloke called Mark, which is M-A-R-C that's not heard that clip. What a ridiculous sitcom. I've really liked it, actually. It's really...

It's really... There's the odd thing that's funny, but bloody hell. We watch that religiously, so don't now make out you don't like it. We've never watched that religiously. We, series link it. We love the Christmas special. I don't mind it. I don't mind a Christmas special because it's that old nostalgia.

I like it. Good, clean, family fun. For fact sake. We've got one here from Claire. Mark does calendars. Okay, so next year we get calendar merch. Crack on Mark. Hashtag Mark does calendar girls

Not sure about that, Claire, if I'm honest Hashtag cover it with Maxibon Pardon? She's in a right old mood Linny with the window lean Tony's tools El surrounded by Ferreiro Roche Maria putting together a shoe cabinet

And come on that Do something with a Vienetta Tony's Tools I don't really want to see Tony's tool to be honest. Well, it wasn't Tony's tool. Well, it is if it was one month.

No, because he'll have a toolbox full of tools. Right? Okay, for the year. But what happened in April when he gets his tool out that he wants to show us? And then in May he wants to show us

a different tool. Well. I don't know what to say. But no. Stacey said, I was crying with laughter listening this morning at work. You two are brilliant.

I work with my husband and laughter is definitely the key to happy relationships. Thanks for always making my day brighter. So thank you, Stacey. It's nice, isn't it? Is that nice? Lovely, thank you. I got some feedback. Darren said he likes listening to our podcast.

And the bits he's like really into. Like when I'm fiddling around this stuff, I wander off. a bit or that's quite good Darren is one of Mark's best friends everyone so that's lovely great feedback from Darren

yeah he thought it's good he said I like it when you wand off that's good I've got one here that says Mark totally agree with you on this one

oh no sorry sorry you misread it slightly changed for me I have Mark totally agree

with you Nat sorry not with you on this one. You two are great together. Love listening to your pods on my way home from work. What are they disagreeing with? In Belgium, Brussels. But what are they disagreeing with? International. Domeshkolfild. Is that quite, is that from Brussels? Domeshkolfild? You're circumnavigating the point and the question because you don't know. Don't know. It's about a video. Hang on. You're so right.

It was about a video. Okay. Not sure what vid. What could it have been about? I don't know. Was it about when you said, all you have to do is say you want it up and bang it's up? No, it wasn't that one, no.

Okay, right. Annette said to the video you're talking about, Mark's mind is in the gutter again. I'm so sorry. If you said to me, I say to you, I want it up and bang it's up. And my mind's in the gutter. It's not exactly a tenuous

I thought it was quite tenuous when I watched it back. Really? I did. Not what I've had. Thank you very much. Quite a lot of feedback on that video. Really? People agreeing with me. Fair enough. And you were deliberately, and you can't really tell in the video, you were deliberately trying not to laugh.

You were looking at me with a twinkle in your little eye knowing full well what was going on by the way there's water pouring off of that glass pouring I don't mind getting a bit wet

you can't that is not acceptable that is not transmittable we've reached in New Lowe no sorry no we really have

We really have It's absolutely Ridiculous I've got brown leggings on I'm not in an outfit that I worry about I'm actually crying There is some water dripping

And I say I don't mind getting a bit wet Outside in the rain But I don't mind because I'm sat here With old clothes on Right You can't keep doing this this. It's really, honestly, it's appalling, actually. Your mum listens to this. By the way,

do you like my glass, talking of mothers? Back in a second. Why are you coming? God only knows. Can I have a baileys? Here you go Honestly Utopy was making it up It isn't I do say things Obviously

To make him laugh But that wasn't one of them I'm quite looking forward to when this is full video My only worry is that I'll talk to you And not him That'd be alright Sling him the odd lo Keep looking at you.

You back, are you? Yep. You're all right? Mm-hmm. What you've been doing? That's going to get a drink. Thank you for mine. Yeah, nice glass.

Do you like it? Mommies. Very nice. That is my mum and dad's wedding present, Crystal. And it's sat in a cupboard. Isn't it? Sat downstairs in a glass unit and I thought, do you know something?

I'm going to start washing it up and I'm going to start getting it out. And I'm going to get it out and I'm going to... I'll tell you something. There's a few things that you've not used recently, but... I mean, don't look at me. No.

Oh, it's ridiculous. Kenneth Williams is going to come in in a minute. It doesn't mean, I don't know. Yeah. Oh, my. I was thinking of... Oh, no, that was June. No, I was thinking of things like the...

Honestly, really to rewind, this. Yeah, no, it's becoming... It is getting a bit... I mean, you're not actually going to be able to put it out. It's going to be like a whole new genre. I mean, this is getting below the belt now. Seriously. No, but they are my mum and dad's crystal glasses.

Yes. From their wedding day. Yes. And they're all dusty and musty and sat in a cupboard. And he thought, I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to get to... them out. I'm going to crack them out. I'm cracking them out. I mean, seriously. That was you that said that as well. You're laughing at what you said. It's nice, isn't it, when we have

our favourite items that we've not touched or used for a period of time. And you think, do you know what, I'm going to treat myself. And isn't it lovely? Isn't it nice, though, that it's not all the time, because when they do come out, you enjoy them more. Is that what you think about that glass? Yes, I do. You enjoy them more, and you think, I wish I did this more often. You do, yeah. When was the last time that glass came out?

I can't tell you, because it isn't a glass I would use. It's really a brandy. Right. I think. Do you remember when you were drinking bailies? Yep. And you wanted it to be a bit stronger, so you've got out. some whiskey,

poured the whiskey in. I didn't. I pulled brandy in it. You did pull brandy in it because the joke was it's not a brandy based drink. Correct. That doesn't happen a lot.

That doesn't say that was when I was very inebriated. When you were drunk, yeah. How many years ago? A year ago, two years ago, something like that. Okay, so what you're saying is

it's something you've not used. for a while and now you're really getting the value out of it and enjoying it absolutely

and I'm always worried that they're going to break or because they're special if you use it too often because they're special to me yeah

because they're special to me I think I don't want to use them because they're my mum and dads and I want to keep them yeah however

but now you're using it you think I could use this porphan I do but I wouldn't use it all year round I wouldn't No no no

Special occasions This month is very special to me Okay So therefore this... You're going to use it a bit more this month This month I am fully on board High days and holidays I'm fully on board with it

Okay Good to know I'm really enjoying No you've got to get stuff out The special things And I talk about that a lot Like the candles Drink the champagne

and I say it in my book, but I'm the worst because I've got all these beautiful crystal glasses that I never use. And I thought, actually, don't be a hypocrite. No, it's good, that. Get them out and wash them. Good for you. Thank you.

I've got a little something that I want to talk about. Please listen up, everybody. I'm going to pop a link on the podcast this week, but I'd really like you to listen to this. Hi, lovely Nat. I hope you're having a great day. I just did some stocking fill of shopping for the boys and I'm feeling pleased I've finally started.

I wanted to let you know that Just Helping's Big Christmas Tree Cycle appeal is now live. Woo-woo! You can now register your Christmas tree online for January collection. Make a donation and know you're all organised for when the festivities are over. Registrations have only been open two days and we're already up to 86,000. Hoping to beat our 1.5 million total of last year. All the money goes to local causes in your community, such as children's hospices, performing end-of-life care,

food banks and those living in food poverty and women's refuges. Just Helping is an amazing charity who set their appeal up and ensure funds are distributed to over 150 local causes. We would love any pod or insta support you can give. So I've read your message out Absolutely fantastic Thank you Lizzie I want you all to do this

So this is a charity And it is true I haven't got a real tree Right we've got two artificial trees I'm going to get rid of Sorry A very old Two artificial trees

Yes we do yeah You got two trees I've got two artificial trees I've got two artificial trees We've got an artificial tree In the living room Yes. An artificial tree in the kitchen.

Yes. An artificial tree at the bottom of the stairs. Oh no, they're not mine. We've got an artificial tree in Joni's room. Oh yeah, that's Janis. We've got an artificial tree in Eliza's room. That's Eliza's. We've got an artificial tree, it's very spindly, on the landing.

They're all sorts of trees that have been around for a long time. Any other trees? Do you have six trees at home? Oh no, don't be silly. Six trees? Six trees. However, we haven't got a real one. But this charity...

But it's up. No, they're all up. I'm just going to finish. You've got to get them up. Yes, you have. And on Saturday, you said you wanted them all up and bang, they were up. They were. There you go.

This charity, okay, I'm going to pop a link in. It's brilliant. So if you have a real tree, you can pop on the website, donate whatever you can. And someone, you will know that someone is going to come and collect your tree from the garden so it doesn't look all sad after Christmas and they take it away and they recycle it. And your donation goes to a great cause in your community. What a fantastic thing? When I say they recycle it, what do you think they do with it?

Like sort of make it into shopping bags? I don't know, darling. Or do they just compost it? Don't know. Okay. Anyway. Anyway. detail to have included in the...

Anyway, please for me follow just helping underscore charity. Love that song as well. So follow and it'll all be in the info and that's just a little shout out to a brilliant

charity this week and I think it's really important. What was all that noise just then? Oh it was me checking the Instagram account and that was what was on there. All right. I love that song. Nice.

Do do, do, do, do, do, do do do do do do. Joanie was playing that, wasn't she? That's right. She does play that on the piano. Yeah. Anyway, I think it's good. I heard that gold then. Sorry, darling.

You had to go at me earlier. I apologise. Okay. Anyway, I think it's lovely. if anyone has any other little charities before Christmas that they want to shout out that's important to them please let me know and I'll give a little shout out because at this time of year we can all spend loads of money

we want to be around loved ones and family and have a laugh but it's also a very charitable time of year and it's good to give them a plug because people feel a little bit warmer I'm warm all year round but there are a lot of tight assholes around so let's plug the charities eh Go on, what was you doing with your finger there? I was going to just dominate my charity of choice, but...

You can? Absolutely. Yeah, it's called Bank of Mark. And I'll give out my... If you message me on Instagram, I'll give you the sort code and account number. It's filed a means of money over. It'd be appreciated. I've to spend quite a lot of money lately. Right, then.

Jim, we've got enough. Enough what? Sort of pod? Yeah, can we go to the pub now, please? Yeah. Good. Should you have a little drink over there? Please.

Yeah, lovely. But I haven't actually sort of spoken to you for a while. Yeah, no, there's a lot to sort out. Excellent. All right. I love you. You too. Do you know we had a message before we go.

It said, it really annoys me how he doesn't say I love you. It wasn't actually a noise. She said, I feel quite sad for you. Do you know what you never says, I love you? I've got something to say, actually. Yes. when I get maybe one or two messages a month from people that listen to the podcast

Yeah And everyone will up my side Yeah They don't get read out today It's all about me Interesting in that What you mean? Ganging up on me

Never No one gangs up on you People do not gang up on you I think there was a barrage of messages Regarding the Algo rhythm I think that's a fair comment It is, because it was true. It's just the same as a complaint.

It's the same as a complaint. Women, women stick together, Mark. Yes, so I've got my work cut out on this podcast. We stick together. My work cut out here. Oh, there's plenty of men out there. I've seen the demographics. Gordon, can I just shout Gordon out?

It sent me a little screen grab tonight. Little screen grab of, what are you doing now? What are you pointing at? A gentleman who's got a voice note for us. Which I'll play in a moment, Roger. But give us a set. Roger's in the choir. Yeah, okay.

But Gordon, a little shout out to Gordon. You were going to leave Roger out then, weren't you? You were almost wrapped up without playing it. Give me some strength, please, guys. Gordon sent me a little screen grab of his Amazon Yearly Roundup. I bet he did. Amazon Yearly Roundup. Oh, yeah.

Listened for nearly 5,000 hours or whatever it was. and his top podcast was ours. So thank you, Gordon. Love that. I like seeing those yearly roundups. If only there were more of those. Yeah. Play Roger's message.

We'll do. One moment, please call her. Where did I think he used to live? Southampton. Yes. Why was that? I don't know. You must know another Roger there.

I just, well, two Rogers don't make a right. Something was you to say about my dad. That's the name was Roger. Here we go. Good morning, Natalie. I hope you're well. I just finished the sweeping the barrel pod that was released today. It's very funny.

I love the sweeping barrel ones, as you know. It's Roger here from Chessington, not Southampton. I don't know if you remember, but Mark thought I live in Southampton for some reason. But, yeah, I was just thinking, and I was wondering whether you would would do a pod in regards to, well, a family pod with email, Eliza and Joni talking about Christmas. And what it means to you as a family, so I think that would be a really good one. I think everyone would love to hear Joni, Eliza's opinions on Christmas. What was yours in the marks?

That makes sense. Hope you well and before seeing you next Sunday or I'm part of the choir. That's all good. I cannot wait to meet Roger. There are some people in the choir. Mm-hmm. Tim's in the choir. Tim is in the choir.

I didn't know that. I mean, it's meant to be a top secret. But I feel like we're ready now. We can chat. What do you mean? Well, it's going to be a little surprise for everyone. Is it going to be like one of those, what they call it? Flash mob.

Is it a flash mob? A bit. I'm going to randomly stand up. We've got some lists. I'm going to talk about and they're going to bang up. they're going to go bang up they come and straight they'll be yeah great how embarrassing will it be when they're like all just in one place

not spread out across the whole audience they are in one place oh why what's wrong with that oh I thought they were going to one Tim would suddenly go I don't know start singing and then someone else would start singing

no no because they're not singers are they talking of singing yeah I quite enjoyed having this sing song for Eliza the other day You were, I wanted to talk to you about that. You've got a lovely voice. Well, where's that come from?

Why was you singing? Michael Boubley. Yeah. Very good. Give us a bit. No. Oh, please. I must sing in the same key as him.

Really good. Because I hit all of a sudden, I thought, hang on a minute, I can sing this. Really good. And Eliza was like, hang on, this is actually quite good. No, no, he couldn't believe it from the lounge. Shut up. Really couldn't believe it from the lounge. No.

I've never heard you sing like that. No. You've got a shit voice. And that was brilliant Sorry No, it was really good Right Okay

Really impressed Do a little bit It's beginning Go on, just do the beginning Absolutely not It's beginning to look a lot Like Christmas Yeah, I can't do that

What key was that in? I don't know I was on the mask singer I can't sing No Well you had lessons though didn't you? Quite a few.

That was so funny that. You know, it was, that was really, really fun. And when I did the video of Joni dancing to you... Being Bush, had no idea. That was brilliant.

Yeah, it was good. Really, really brilliant. She loved it. Not a clue. And the reveal, the reveal was funny when, like, all of a sudden, they've got the whole family around watching it,

and you think people are starting to smell a rat. Yes. And then miraculously, like I'm wondering about putting people's phones in different places around the room. I know, but I don't think they saw it. Eliza clocked it because she thought, yeah, she did. It's good, though, that was fun that was. Always good fun. That's quite cool.

You were saying, anyways. I'll make a cock of myself more often, shall I, for everyone's benefit. Pardon? What do you mean? You were quite popular. What was brilliant about that, Mars Singer? It was Kieran. He's a still photographer.

There's a lot of telly. That's my favourite bit about it. It was really funny this. My favourite thing about the Masked singer was when our friend Kieran... Oh, I love Kieran. Who is a still photographer on that programme. He also did the photographs for the life of not picture.

He did indeed. He did that photo, yeah. In here. He did. When he found out it was you, he found that very funny but he actually had no idea no

which I loved not a clue so every week he was there yeah and he had no idea about it absolutely and then that was unbelievable

because I was very recognisable I think but it's what you know isn't it it's once you know it's so obvious but there were people saying I was Morgana Robinson

there were people saying yeah it's funny well you and Morgana you know there's similar that she's there isn't there when she's

being you there's just a few yeah you should you two should get together I know it would be really

good if you and Morgana did something something together I agree who knows be fun

wouldn't it watch this space yeah right let's go because we want to get to the pub now last orders

if we make it right see you everybody see you see you Bye. Bye. I don't know where that rain's come from.

It's been beautiful sunshine all day. Possibly the clouds. I mean it's been a very, very nice day today. You can hold that for me. Hold what? The umbrella. Okay. Maybe put it over me as well?

Yeah. Such a gentleman. Yeah. Sorry about that. That's right. Oh, it's nice to get out, isn't it? I do like the sound, the pitter-patter of the rain. Oh, I love it, it's great.

I enjoyed that in Cornwall as well. The Christmas lights look beautiful, by the way. Look at them. You pleased? I am, yeah. I think the white light should sort of follow the contour of the roof. It looks a bit random, but what it was, I got the ladder out, and I tried to get up to the top,

I got scared. No, I get that. There was no one there to foot it for me. No. Despite me asking. No, I know you do say that though, but your ladders got like a great big thing at the bottom. Yeah. Like a stand thing.

I think it still needs to be... Footed. Yeah. Fair enough. And earlier when you said, you know, we could go to the pub. Yeah. But I have to be honest, I didn't actually realise you were being serious when you said we'd record it. Why?

We haven't done it for ages. I know. We haven't got to record forever, have we? No. Just 20 minutes or so. If it's really noisy like the last one... It won't be. We just won't bother.

Nah, it'll be fine. It won't be a problem. It's not really working the umbrella, darling. No. Do you want to hold it? Why don't you just hold the umbrella? You sure, that's all right? What a novel idea?

There you go. And now it's only you. I'm thinking of the microphone getting wet. It's all right. So talking of the Christmas lights, sorry, because I feel like you're shifting away from it a little bit. Yeah. You decided to

put them up on Saturday You made quite a large thing last card Yeah, well I realised I just realised But if I didn't do it Last weekend Then I wouldn't be able to do it Until

sort of mid-December Yes So it kind of had to be And the reason I did it on the Saturday not the Sunday, which is admittedly what I said I wasn't going to do. Yep.

It was just because I know these things sometimes take a lot of time. Well, I was very pleased. It was a long old weekend, but it was worth it. House looks beautiful. We're all done now. It does look nice. It's lovely. And we are in December now, so we're okay to be enjoying it.

We sure are. And it's pretty much as simple as that, really. The pub looks nice. Nice, doesn't it? Very nice. I always do a good job. Even in Brian. You're all right?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, good. How are you doing? Good. Nice. Nice to see Nancy. Hey Dave. You're right, darling.

It's pouring of rain. Good. All right. Just popped over for a little drink and I said, when we record a little bit of our podcast while we're over. Why not? Yeah, go on, why not? Are you going to train into it?

Yes, please, my love. Are they a pear cider? No, I'm not going to have a pear cider today. You're going to have a dim bar? Um... I'll have a... I will have a ale, please. Thank you. Lovely, thanks, dance.

Is this a single or a double? A double, please. It looks empty at the moment. Yeah, lost to the... He is really nice in here, you know, the way she's done the decorations. Oh, it's lovely. Lovely. I like the chasing lights. It's good, isn't it? It is nice.

It's very festive. It's quiet, but then, you know, what day is it today? Wednesday. Yeah. Is it? Yeah. No, it's Wednesday tomorrow. Oh, it is, I beg your pardon. It's Tuesday. It's been quite a long week already. It has, yeah. And I've been at home.

Did you get much done today? I did get quite a lot of shopping with Evie. Where did you go? Kings Cross. I'm telling you now, in terms of jumping on a train, mind you, I'll get to it in a minute, but in terms of jumping on a train and being somewhere in about 35, 40 minutes,

there is a very, very nice array of shops there. I do like it around there. Cold drop yard. Exactly. Around the corner, isn't it? Yeah. Very nice. So I did do well.

Went to Space NK, which was really nice. They always treat me lovely in there. Mm-hmm. And I do get a cheeky little discount. Right. So every little helps. And then I went to a few... You meant to go like that when you say that?

No. You are? No? Why are you putting a face at me? Because I'm not a test goes. girl. It was ASDA. No, it was Tesco's.

Every little helps. Surely it was. Honestly. Asda was, da, da, da, da, da. That's ASDA price. Right. I'll just rewind to what I just said.

You said Tesco's? Every little helps. Oh, sorry, I've combined two advertising slogans. Yes, you have. That was the slap of ASDA. It was. Yeah. Sorry, I understand that what you say.

Is there an image that you remember from that advert at all? A hand slapping, the leg? Where? Don't quite, I was about 10 when that was on. Oh, I bet you quite enjoyed that ad. The old cheesy, the bum. We used to shopping at stuff. That's where the family shop used to happen.

Oh, lovely. Claire will know that. From Swanee. So what are you doing? tomorrow? Tomorrow? I'm having baby James for a couple of hours. Right, okay. Which will be really nice, although he'll be asleep for most of it, which is a shame. Yeah. The video that you sent of Baby James and Joni playing the piano, where was that recorded? Was that today? When was that? You just sent it to me, no explanation? Sunday. Thank you. That makes sense now? Yes. Because the people

within the video, yes. With air Sunday. Correct. I was just ascertaining whether the video... Well, we want to be all sitting around at 5 o'clock at night, would we? I don't know. I don't know what happens when I'm at work. Who knows? You sent me a wine glass photo about three hours beforehand,

saying I'm just the Elias. And this is a nice glass of... Unbelievable. I wanted to see... You know, we were talking about wine glasses the other day? Yes. That's the glass we need. The everyday glasses...

It looked like a very wide glass at the top. It was very thin. Yeah. Beautiful things. Stim, you see these? Yes. They're awful. Yeah, well, a goldfish could live in that glass. Yeah, but not only the goldfish gin glass, which I don't particularly like.

Yeah. I'm talking about the thickness of glass. If you look at her wine glass, thick them, thick glass. Yeah. Not going to drink out of it. I've got no interest. Okay. Especially not at home. Right. But what I'm asking you is, is how big was the bit at the top?

Small. Really? Because I went on the website And all of the ones that looked This is very boring But basically they've got a good range They have the ASAs Yes and that is the same make as our red one glasses

Which I bought from a large wholesale outlet Unfortunately They're too thick for you They're too thick Yeah Still breaking the dishwasher They don't know so They need to be washed by hand

And they need to be thinner Where are you tomorrow What are you up to? I'm at EastEnders tomorrow Good Inside and then outside Yeah that'll be nice

With a lovely Mickey Jones So I'm looking forward to that That'd be nice Yeah I've been enjoying that That's good It's been great fun Good Lovely director

He used to be in Brookside Yeah I do know that Yeah I do know that I loved Brookside Saturday afternoon Omnibus Used to be on for about eight hours Really

Do you not remember that? I never used to watch soaps. It was a very, very, I just remember it being on nearly all day. I mean, obviously it wasn't. Well, knows. It was very long, omnibus. Right. The same as the EastEnders one.

I know, but you have a load of adverts in it, don't you? So he elongates it. Oh, I see, yeah, of course. Was it, was it ITV then? Channel 4. Oh. And didn't it, what happened to it? It all just finished, didn't it?

I don't know why, because it was really good. but didn't like the whole place blow up or something yeah something like that plane landed on it I can't remember we're gonna get so many messages about that I don't remember it my mum and dad didn't watch Brookside no but I just remember it being on telly

maybe I don't know maybe I was watching it maybe I was a bit like Joni more than likely yeah Joni's got into American some weird American kids The Thundermans what is that and where has she found that

who's put her on to that Eliza used to watch The Thundermen So it's quite old And then there's another one she watches I can't remember the name It's all the same family and people in it Yeah And there's a spin-off

Right But it's just American They're all living in a house It reminds me A saved by the bell I see, yeah It's just not as good Not as good at all no

What was the, was there A funny bloke in Save What was this? Who was Screech? Screech Was Screech? Yeah, I remember that vaguely What is up to these days?

I've seen photos You see, you know, those photos you get on Facebook, it's what they're up to now. They, I get those on the... Working in a petrol mart. A petrol, what's me? Oh, don't they call it that in America? Petrol mart. No.

Petrol station. No, I know, but don't they call it something? Gas station. And then what's the mart? Shopping mart. I don't know. Something like that. I don't know.

I'm not too sure. Now, I've got to say, we've both been really, really busy. Yes. And a bit like I said to you'd ever, day when we did a live show. It is lovely, spending time with you, and I don't mind the fact there's quite a few thousand people listening in. But we've brought a lot of people to the pub this evening. They've had a little snapshot of our evening and having a drink. I've got half a pint left. So I think it'd be really lovely now if we just, you know, say goodbye to our

friends. Thank you for joining us. Yeah, I think you're probably right. I've got one thing to say to you that I. Go on. What the fuck are we doing with the elf tonight? What are we going to do? It's just only day three and I'm losing the will to leave. Day two, it's day two. It's day two. And I'm losing it. The elf has done, what has the elf done so far? Well, first night, Elf just turned up with some balloons.

Okay. Which was great. Right. A lovely lady, her Instagram is Emma, Sarah, events. Did these balloons for myself and row for the children. Really clever, really, really good. So a little shout out to Emma, Sarah, events. Give her a little follow for me. You know I love supporting a little indie business. Oh, lovely.

So, yeah, that was the first night, and you did a great one. Well? Last night. I didn't do that. What are you suggesting I did? You poured a lot of stuff all over the floor. Yeah.

I did. Or did I? Who knows? What I do know is there's a lot of marshmallows that they're cleaning up. Were they off? Natalie. Yeah.

How long have you known me for? Quite a long time. Too long? Yeah. Do you think I would have wasted a bag of marshmallows that were edible? No. No. No.

No. I think you'll find they were like bullets. Fine. Okay. right so I thought that was a very good use of them it was good before putting them in the bin and it was really good we should put a little photo up actually and it has fooled the little joanie because she was a bit oh there's a big mess and what a waste yes interesting that I was really cross interesting so tonight I've got an idea go on which is really terrible right but I know that

it'll make her laugh go on I saw something on Instagram today Yeah. And it's the two elves playing Uno, but they've only got the card six, seven. Six, seven. I'm worried about the ones on social media, though. Has she seen those? No. She doesn't go on social media.

I don't know. She's been, like, subliminally seen them, or she's looked over your shoulder when you looked at it. Okay. No way. I don't mean her. So six, seven. Yeah. You know why I'm saying that, don't you?

Six, seven. No. No. that's sort of one of the words of the year six seven it's all about a I don't know what I can't be bothered to explain no you've lost me

but the kids do this brain rot and it's six seven they do something about six seven right I mean I don't know much about it no I think if I put a six and a seven in the elf's hands yeah as if they're playing uno she will then get up and go six seven or whatever she does

I mean she only knows about this thing because of people at school it's quite amazing isn't it the influence the classroom gives it is well one of things for certain you've lost me yeah sorry about that

yeah you go ahead and stick whatever you like in the old's hands I mean I'd like to see firstly how they're going to hold the cards I'm I need to go to bed a little bit of tape it's quite late

we've done a podcast recording yes I've got quite a lot of work to do and we're now rustling up an idea that involves rigging the EL It'll be alright I'll sort it, don't worry I've got to clear up the other crap first And it can't just go in the bin

We can't clear that out Oh no, it can't just go in the bin What do you mean? Oh no, it needs to disappear Surely it all stays there And they go off somewhere else And they leave a mess No

Surely Right, let's finish our drink on our own Lovely And I've got a few things That I need to talk to you about Without the listeners listening So we're crack on, should we? Exciting

Boring really but... Oh. Household stuff. Oh, okay. Present stuff. Dates. Right.

Locations of where we are. Locations? A lot of planning. A lot of planning going on now. Okay, yeah. Lovely. Right. See you later.

Thanks everyone for listening. Thank you all. Thank you. 07-8, 2019-19. And keep following, keep listening. Keep spreading the word. And I will speak to you on Monday. Have a great weekend, all.

See ya. Bye. Thank you.