Life with Nat - EP23: Introducing Scott Mitchell - Life, addiction, love and Barbara Windsor!!

Episode Date: July 7, 2024

Nat chats to her dear friend and agent Scott about the things close to his heart. Read about Scott's work as Ambassador for Alzheimer’s Research UK and as People's Champion for Dame Barbara Windsor Dementia Mission. Scott's Book - By Your Side: My Life Loving Barbara Windsor Please subscribe, follow, and leave a review. xxx You can find us in all places here; https://podfollow.com/lifewithnat/view INSTA: @natcass1 A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] SHOW INFO: Life with Nat - it’s me! Natalie Cassidy and I’ll be chatting away to family, friends and most importantly YOU. I want to pick people's brains on the subjects that I care about- whether that’s where all the odd socks go, weight and food or kids on phones. Each week I will be letting you into my life as i chat about my week, share my thoughts on the mundane happenings as well as the serious. I have grown up in the public eye and have never changed because of it. Life with Nat is the podcast for proper people. Come join the community. ♥️ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Get groceries delivered across the GTA from Real Canadian Superstore with PC Express. Shop online for super prices and super savings. Try it today and get up to $75 in PC Optimum Points. Visit Superstore.ca to get started. Hello and welcome to Life with Nat. I hope you're all having a fantastic week. I'm super excited today because with me in my podcast room is a dear, dear friend of mine and my agent, Scott Mitchell. How are you? Oh, I'm fantastic, Nat. It's lovely to be here. I can't believe I'm in the Life With Nat podcast room. Even I'm excited about this. This is a dizzy hype for me. Oh, bless you. Well, funnily enough, you've actually not been to the house.

This is my first time, though. It's ridiculous, but I'm so pleased you're here. Oh, it's lovely. And how long have i known you a very long time well a very long time i've known you most likely first gone since you were about 11 i think so that's how long i've known you so let's explain to the listeners explain why let's explain why you've known me since I was 11. Yeah. Well, my late wife was Barbara Windsor, who you work with. And that's how we became friends.

Absolutely. And have remained friends ever since, which has been lovely. And working together as well for the past couple of years, which is also lovely. It's been lovely. It really has. And it was so natural, wasn't it? You know, the agent and it it was so natural wasn't it the you know the agent thing it just happened it just sort of happened yeah yeah it just kind of blended the timing was right yeah and we said let's give it a go let's let's see what happens and we're still

going and we're still going you know exactly so we haven't fallen out yet no and i do think we have we we're quite alike in terms of the professionalism getting back to people quickly totally aren't we which works really well yeah and i've got a thing about it as well yeah and uh you know i think that comes out in me in all different ways as well that kind of impulsive thing that i want to get things done i want to make sure everything's done yeah if you know and then anxious if the reply isn't as imminently as it should be yes because I can never understand that it's something I just don't understand it's I'm getting much better but I could never understand when people took like two or three days to get back to you with a text or something like that especially if you've asked

them something i i'll never understand it i'm with you yeah i just kind of i kind of think surely you know surely you've looked at your phone in the last two days even to be able to say super busy get back soon totally that's all it takes yeah that's all it takes you just put the other person's mind at rest absolutely and you think okay they are hearing me some people's worst nightmare me and you very much so i think that's but it's good it good it works for us because i think you know we bounce off each other like that and i and that's what i really enjoy i do and most importantly i think we laugh don't we which is you have to you gotta have a laugh you have to in this mad world yeah and it is a mad world you know what i mean yeah and we do laugh and you have to do that you have to get through everything and we're not the first

people to live in a mad world no people have always lived in a mad world yeah all our predecessors have lived in mad worlds yeah whether it be, you know, conflicts going on, all these things that have happened, whether it's, you know, whether it's political, whether it's this, whether it's that, it's all happened many times before. That's right. And when people were in the thick of it, they all thought, this is mad. I've never known anything like this in my life. If we had a pound for every time someone had said, I've never known anything like this in my life, we'd be laughing laughing we wouldn't be as unique as we all think we are so true going back to when

i first met you obviously and lovely barbara um i always say it and i i've said it a hundred times a million times but she helped me so much yeah you know in terms of being professional and a good work ethic being on time knowing the crew and all of that sort of stuff yeah well she always loved you because of that and she and she really respected you because of that because she had she had this real thing because she had a very strict upbringing as a young actress I mean you know her first West End show she was 15 15 when she first went in and they were very, very strict with them. And they really literally read them the riot act

and said, look, you've chosen to be in this profession. You will act professional. You will be polite to people. You will know your work when you come in here and you will take it very seriously. And I think she always tried to install that a little bit. Absolutely. And pass it down as she got older. But I think she always tried to install that a little bit. Absolutely. And pass it down as she got older.

But I know she always said that about you. She always said, no, she's always there. She's always on time. She always knows her lines. And she just loved you anyway. That's who you are, not just because you're professional. No, no. And that's so lovely.

I feel very honoured. Honoured to have known her. And it must have been a very, you know, difficult time for you, obviously, with Barbara having dementia and then losing her. And we created a bond, as awful as it was, that we created this lovely bond through running marathons for Alzheimer's. Research UK. Research UK. And we had two wonderful marathons together also. What an amazing experience to go through. I'm not being funny, but for anyone who has never done a marathon, you will say to yourself, I couldn't run 26.2 miles, nor could we.

No. And the thought of it absolutely petrified me when I first said I was going to do it and i promise you it will be one of the best days of your life the self-achievement i mean listen i've never given birth to a child and i'm sure that's the best day of your life well mine came out the um oh okay okay well there you there you go but it's still a lovely thing. Yes. You're still experiencing a wonderful day. Yeah. Whichever entrance they're coming out of. So, yeah. So, for anyone who's kind of thinking about it, it's the best thing you could do with your mates.

It really is. Because you find you chat so much. It's such a thing. And also, you see each other at your worst. You absolutely do. And it's an a thing. And also you see each other at your worst. You absolutely do. And it's an emotional time. And if you're going on a three, four hour run with someone, you know, like you say, you really, your secrets come out. Yeah, you get to know them.

You get to know them properly, don't you? You really do. I always think, you know, mile 18 or 19 when you're standing beside someone and the pair of you are falling to pieces mentally and physically yeah that's when you really create a bond with someone completely i think it's quite amazing but you know something that i would always be grateful to you to all the guys who ran in the team for us when when we had them it was just a phenomenal thing to do it was it was so special especially that first one the first one I mean it was magical and like you I promise you listeners I could even now right it's five years later now I get out of breath now running up the stairs I'm really unfit I've not run for a long time I'm just super super

busy and that exercise side of my life has taken a back seat but i'll get it back and you can't feel guilty because things take over but when i thought there's no way i can do this and i remember going out on a mother's day and lovely daddy was still with me we lived in our old house and he was brilliant i used to say i'm going out now dad i'll be home about this time he used to make up my protein shake he used to run me a bath when i got home because Mark would have been at work. Yeah. And it's a really special, a lovely time for me that I think about dad being proud. Yes. Us raising all of that money.

Yeah. Barbara being proud, you know. But yeah. Still here. Of course she was still with us, wasn't she? And championing us. I know. I know.

They were really special times. And we've all shared some incredible memories together and i just feel blessed not only personally to have had 27 years with barbara but also all those other things all the people i've met all the friends i've made like yourself and things we've shared over the years it's been so special what if putting you on the spot go on who would you say has blown your mind the most when out when you've met somebody that has to be elton oh elton john yeah there's just something about certain people that walk in a room and and i'm not being funny and it's only because I was with Barbara that I got to meet all these people.

I would never have met all these people, there's no doubt about it. You know, I might have trained as an actor but I wasn't on that kind of level of knowing anyone when I met Barbara. And the first time I met Elton, I just thought, oh my God, this is a real superstar. Certain people have an aura about them, don't they?

They walk into a room and... Well, Barbara had it. Barbara had it. She an aura about them, don't they? They walk into a room and... Well, Barbara had it. Barbara had it. She was one of those, wasn't she? Yeah, yes, she was. There's just something special. They walk into a room and everyone is aware that that person has entered the room.

So I think for me, personally, especially as someone I've got to know over the years, it would be on, most definitely. But, you know you know really there's been a lot of impressive people as well you know and I always take people really for how they treat me because let me tell you something when you're the partner of someone well known yes you can be dismissed which I faced so much at the beginning of our relationship. I cannot tell you that.

You know, I was just 30. Barbara was 56. Everyone laughed at us. You know, oh, he must be up for sunning. He must be trying to further his career. He's after her money. Well, little did they know when I met her, she had a million pound debt. Yes, yes.

So that went out the window. not very good at that bit was I no exactly my gold radar wasn't very good um no but you know people did and what you learn over the years is what I learned was uh and it took a long time, and, you know, I went through a lot of difficult phases with it, dealing with it mentally, was that at first people would talk across my face. They would just almost believe that I wasn't there. It's like you're invisible. And it's really hard to deal with.

Mark said this, you know. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure to a different level. Well, no, it's all relevant to who you are. But he finds it quite amazing that, you know, I'm sure. I'm sure to a different level, but... Well, no, it's all relevant to who you are. But he finds it quite amazing that, you know, I'm the one people talk to.

Yes. Or when you're being served at a restaurant, they'll come to me. Yes. You know, it's very interesting. Look, in a way,

I do understand certain things and what I always used to say to myself was, look, in Barbara's case, they'd known this lady all their lives. Yeah, yeah. Okay? And suddenly, she was look in barbara's case they'd known this lady all their lives yes

okay and suddenly she was there in front of them and they're in their head they're most likely thinking oh my god this is the only chance i'm ever going to get to speak to her yeah maybe maybe i wasn't that interesting to them at the time yeah no it's true but you know but then there were others that would do that and they'd ask Barbara for a photo or autograph. But they'd also smile and say hello to me and acknowledge me. And that made the world a difference. And I've always kind of, the people I've met over the years, I always judge by how they've treated me as the partner. And it's a very interesting thing.

And I reckon Mark will, you know, he will have the same experience as me. Oh, that's a pod, isn't it? You two. Oh, don't. Talking about that. Oh, absolutely. We'll bank that one for another time. Yeah, the invisible men.

That sounds very, very good to me. Yeah. I have to say, Marathon Chat, that is an episode in itself because I think people really think about, could I do it? I'd love to do it. Is it a lot of time that, you know, is there a lot of time that gets taken up in your everyday life? But somehow I feel like whenever you assign yourself a task in life, you fit it in. You do.

You just fit it in. And there's one extra bonus now for people who want to start running to that extent. They can listen to Life With Nat as they're running. Absolutely. Literally, the whole series. Just don't start it yet. Before you know it, that's it. 26.2.

Yeah, well, there's 23 episodes out. We're getting there. There you go. We're nearly at the whole marathon. There's your training. You can come again. Stop sitting on your aeroplan points and get big savings so you can be somewhere you actually want to be, like on a beach.

Right now, you can save up to 25% in aeroplan points when you book a trip to one of 180-plus Air Canada destinations worldwide. So stop sitting on your next trip and start saving on one. Don't miss out. Your chance to save in points ends February 23rd. Book at AirCanada.com. Conditions apply. I wanted to have a little chat with you regarding holidays now this is very random but this came up

because I said to you we were just chatting on the phone I think I said oh yeah I'm gonna going on holiday and you know packing and you went oh don't talk to me about packing have I got some stories and that was that I thought I need to unpack the stories certainly we're certainly if you remember I followed up with a few pictures didn't I of the rail that was up in my office room where I work from yes with all the clothes waiting to go on holiday but two weeks before yes i find it impossible i don't know about everyone else to not just take what i need i have to take i know but scott there was i reckon there must have been 30 shirts hanging out i know and i was only going for 12 nights and it's a problem it's a problem it's a lot of options it's an issue i swear to you you know my, Tanya, she takes minimal so that she doesn't have to wait long

when the luggage comes on the conveyor belt. Clever lady. Right. I have a large suitcase, a hanging suitcase, and a whole big holdall full of toiletries. So that's three things that I have to wait for what have you got in the hanging that'll be shirts and trousers okay possibly a jacket if it's not somewhere really you know boiling hot uh but the the large suitcase gets taken up with shoes t-shirt

shorts right how many shoes are we taking because also I know your last holiday was in a hot place. Yeah. So I still must... Not shoes. I mean, listen, they can be... Yeah, sandals, flip-flops, whatever. Yeah. But what are we looking at for 12 days, shoe-wise?

Most likely about eight pairs or something. And when you think of it, you spend most of that in your... Barefoot. Barefoot or espadrilles or whatever it is you wear. Yeah. Whatever product you wear. do you know what i mean so there is no need whatsoever for it but it's like this panic that i get before i go away and then when i start the packing so when do we start the packing it's hung up we're going a fortnight before we've hung everything up okay yeah is that what you're saying shoes are out and shoes out at this time

and the net and that two weeks leading up to the holiday i will every time i either walk into the office where it's hanging or i walk past it i will stare i will stare honestly i will stare at the rail and when i'm satisfied that I've covered myself perfectly for any emergencies then I relax and I look at it with this kind of contentment and kind of really pleased with myself it's the most bizarre thing is I don't know where it comes from you know I've never exactly been normal no but that's true um now you also said that could this have come from the conversation we had regarding barbara because you said to me when you used to go on holiday with barbara it was to pandemonium again ah and that was a different thing right now barbara had a fear of

packing so what would happen was let's say a few days before we were due to go away, she would start behaving in a very anxious way, getting kind of quite neurotic or snappy or anything. And I used to think each time, what's wrong? What's happened? What have I done? And then I realised it was because the packing thing was going to happen. So it soon became very evident

now we've been together you know not very long that when it came to going away on holiday i had to do the packing right okay however she would do the directing that's so that was so yeah absolutely i can see her now yeah so i'm passing you around running around to every cupboard that's i need this i need this i need this then once i put something in and folded it and put everything there and the layers were building up yeah she'd then panic that we'd forgotten the thing that i'd already laid on the bottom thing oh good great so i then have to start unpacking it all again to show her that it was already there that after a few years I learned that I had to write make a list and write down as we pack things that I would tick

right okay as we did it just to cool her nerves now we often spoke about it with her and she said it was like a really irrational thing and I swear to you we were talking tantrums we were talking as I'm doing it she'd walk out the room put her hands over her face holding her head as if this been the biggest like worst day ever worst day ever in the world and then she'd walk back in and say I can't stand this and I go please I'm doing it it's all gonna be. We've done it before. But that wasn't so much with her. You know, that was not about taking too much. Were you still taking what you take now then?

Oh, I was still in my own habits. Fine, okay. So the pair of us together were a complete and utter nightmare. You just wouldn't have gone away with us two. There's no doubt about that. But, you know, and once it was done, she'd go back to being Barbara. I've always had a theory. When Barbara was a little girl in the Second World War, she was evacuated.

Yes. And I've always thought that was it because as a child, when she was about seven years old or something. Maybe she was told to pack quickly. She was told to pack quickly. Or she remembers the case being packed, being sent by herself with a little gas mask around her neck. Because she was a clever little thing. And she had all these memories from when she was evacuated to Blackpool. And I still think maybe it was that. That's so interesting.

Because she spent so much of her life as well as an actor touring. Of course, in and out of living out of a suitcase. Once again, the suitcase thing. So I think it kind of meant instability to Barbara, if there is such a word. No, I know exactly what you mean. But do you know what I mean? I think it was like insecurity is the word I was actually looking for. And I think it may have triggered something off in her, that early memory.

I think that's really interesting, and I think you're right. I reckon the suitcase was a trigger. Yeah, I honestly, honestly do. Because, you know, it would have been leaving your mum and dad. I mean, her dad was in the war anyway. He was in the army. He was overseas. But she would have been leaving her mum and her friends.

Of course, and going somewhere that you don't know. Must have been petrifying. My dad was evacuated. Right. He was a little boy. He was quite small. But he went up to Peterborough. And he had a love for the countryside as he got older.

And he had wonderful memories of, you know, going and jumping over fences and nicking people's pears and plums. Yeah. And this kind of idyllic country life. Yes. With a farmer next door and all of that. So he, from the evacuation that he had, became obsessed with wanting peace and quiet and being in the country. So I do think, you know, as a child, to go through that experience,

you probably, you know, hold a lot dear to you from that. I mean, we have no idea do we no i mean our generation my generation and i'm 20 years older than you now yeah but none of us have any idea we all walk around and you know we know that all this stuff is going on in the world but just imagine being a child now think think of this everyone let's think of joanie think of joanie yes seven years old being suddenly told actually we're going to pack a suitcase because you're going to stay with these people that you don't know yes you're going to be put on a train with all other children that you don't know and you're going to go up to the country to live because it's going to be safer

for you absolutely and when you get we don't know when we're going to see you we don't know when we're going to see you again if we're going to see you again yeah so think about the reality of that and and i always think sometimes now you know when you hear you know like everyone's always either shocked by something or outraged by something i always think what would they have done if they were you know if we were around in those days yes yeah when bombs were dropping on london yeah what would they have done? Who would they have complained to? You're absolutely right.

And my dad, when he did get evacuated with his brothers and his sister, the house was flattened. Their flat in Islington was flattened. I think it was flattened twice. They moved twice and they both got flattened. You can't believe it, really. And that's why we're so lucky, this generation. More than we are.

The world we live in now. Yeah. And, of course, there's awful things going on in the world. Of course there is. And there's struggles. There's struggles. Absolutely. And awful things.

But I'm talking about now, in the UK, where we are, the things we have. Yeah. And people are still moaning. Yeah. People are still negative. It's the things they moan about, you know, because I can understand when people are still moaning yeah people are still negative and it's the things they moan about you know because i can understand when people are struggling oh absolutely i'm not talking about self-insight some of the things people moan about yeah which are what i always

kind of think you know first class problems yes and you shouldn't be moaning about ridiculous stuff like that you know because there are people so far worse off in the world. And I think it's just a big lesson. And I think also for me, I think the lockdown taught me a lot. I think to have everything taken away from us like that and suddenly to go out for a walk was like a luxury. It was a luxury, yeah. And you didn't need all these things that you thought you needed. I think we definitely stripped back to the simple life, didn't we?

Definitely. And I thought, at the time, I thought, do you know what? I think this is going to be like a new beginning for society. I think we'll all learn from this. I agree. Didn't take long, did it? No, and I think we've all forgotten really quickly you know we're worried about the nonsense stuff yeah and life's so quick oh you know life goes by

so quickly and in those days it i just felt the pace just slowed down and everything was that little bit simpler and that little bit slower whereas Whereas now, I'm turning around, I'm thinking, oh, my God, we're in July. Yeah. How are we in July? And again, it's a cliche, but I do feel the older you get with each year, time goes quicker. There's no doubt about it. Yeah.

There's no doubt about it. You know, I absolutely feel that now. But you look fantastic. You keep yourself well. How old are you now? 61. Yeah, amazing. There's exactly 20 years between us.

Yeah. You're the same age as Linda, my sister-in-law. Ah. Yeah. So, yeah, but, you know, in your head, you always feel like you're 22. Yeah. That's the thing. But what happens is little things start telling you that you're not 22 anymore.

Do you know what I mean? Like getting out of bed and feeling an ache go down your leg and suddenly you think oh blimey i never used to get that uh but that's that's the reality yeah of course you know oh god here's a lovely message just wanted to send you a message about packing me and my friend are going away for the bank holiday and are flying with ryanair we've decided to share a case because they charge you extra for everything these days i'm going to give packing cubes a go as i've seen them everywhere recently on the subject of cases going missing lots of people are also air tagging their cases nowadays i mean if mine and my friend's case goes

missing neither of us will have any clothes for the weekend okay air tagging air tagging that's a very very interesting one isn't it and also i'll tell you the other thing, what a lot of people do, especially couples. Yeah, go on. If you pack half and half in each case. Oh, I've heard this. Elias says this to me. You see, if one case goes missing, at least you've both got your drawers, all your underwear. You've all got a little bit of something.

Whereas if one case goes missing, that person starts from scratch. I understand. I get it. Yeah. But I want all my stuff in one case. missing, that person starts from scratch. I understand. I get it. Yeah. But I want all my stuff in one case. So you're not sharing. I want my case to be my case. Mark's case to be his case.

We're going away soon. I'm very easygoing, but I'm easygoing until it gets to the day before. I don't do anything until the day before. As long as I know everything's washed and ironed and ready to go. Yeah. But that day, I think it's only going to take me a couple of hours. It's a good four or five hours. Okay, yeah.

It does take me a long time. And can I ask you something about the not sharing? Yeah. Is it just the suitcase? Can I ask you how you feel when he suddenly might want to take, I think you may have covered this. No. But some food off your plate or dessert.

That's my thing. Oh, the sharing. If I order dessert. So I just wondered whether that is. No, it's very good. No, I am a very generous person in that respect. Okay, yeah. If my favourite food's on my plate,

I'd be annoyed if someone nicked my last bit of lobster. Gotcha. Or if someone were to nick, I was saving a prawn toast that I'm really looking forward to. Yeah. I haven't got a sweet tooth like you, Scott. Oh, you're so lucky. Not interested.

I can take it, I can leave it, I can have a bit of ice cream, I can have a biscuit. It doesn't bother me, does it? You are so lucky. Not interested. I can take it. I can leave it. I can have a bit of ice cream. I can have a biscuit. It doesn't bother me, does it? You are so lucky. You know I'm terrible. Oh, you love an ice cream, don't you? Ice cream, biscuits, cake. Chocolate.

Chocolate. Mark's terrible. Oh, I just absolutely love it. Listen, I always think to myself, something's going to get me at some point. And if it's, you know. Yeah, but you're amazing. Look at you. You've been teetotal for years how long now have you been sober i've been sober 22 and a half years incredible so that's why i think i allow myself a little bit of leeway absolutely if i want to have a bit of chocolate cake yeah i have a bit of chocolate cake because

never have i had chocolate cake and woken up the next morning and not remembered where I was the day before. Yes. So out of the two, it's the lesser evil. Yeah, absolutely. But of course, it's that old thing, everything in moderation. Unfortunately, I don't really have a moderation on off button. No. So this is where my problem started in the first place you know and

i know a lot of people are like that i talk to so many people that they're always saying it's really interesting especially if you say things like to someone um oh i i had to give up drinking and you will find they'll always say oh i think i i drink a bit too much or oh i think i need to cut down a little bit so really it's like holding up this weird mirror and but i always say look if you're getting on with your life and it's not interfering with your life yes and it's not out of control and you know it's not out of control and you know when to stop that's the thing some people have an off button and other people don't know that's right and that's the difference between people who can and shouldn't drink.

That's right. And it's a choice. You know, it's a choice. I made the choice because things got very messy. Yes. And destructive. And I was most likely going to end up killing myself and destroying my marriage. Yeah.

So I had to look at myself in the mirror and say, you know, what are you going to do with the rest of your life? And I did make that. And it's not always an easy thing to do. No. Do you miss it now at all? Let me tell you something now. Because that's what I wonder after 20 years.

Do you ever think, oh, I could fancy a beer or a glass of wine? You know, I just don't know what it's like. Do you know what I do? I wind the clock forward. And I think to myself, yeah, the thing yeah the thing is though Scott you're not just going to have a glass of wine you're going to have you're going to get that first taste then you're going to get the taste for it yeah you're most likely to be on your second bottle of wine a third bottle of wine yeah then your head will take you into some imaginary party somewhere

that you think's going on that you need to get to yeah so you know I have to be really careful with myself yeah I have a very very you know addictive nature and crazy head at times I really have to rein myself in and just because you stop drinking and other things I was doing I'm quite open about it I used to take drugs as well so i gave up everything on one day drink drugs smoking yes 22 and a half years ago my body went into shock i bet um but just because you give up all that it doesn't mean to say your crazy thoughts stop or you still don't have yourself to deal with but that's when you really have yourself to deal with yeah because you're not hiding behind stuff yeah you're not you're not anesthetizing yeah yeah that that side of yourself you know and then you really have to look in the mirror and own yourself and say well okay what is

it what is it honest what are you scared of yeah you know and and each individual will have a different thing that would have been bothering them and and it is unique to each person about what that either trigger or feeling of insecurity or less than might have been. It could be something completely different. They might have had a terrible trauma that they need to forget. So there's always so much involved, you know, when you talk to people who have gone through addiction problems. And it's, you know, it's not just as easy as people say,

oh, well, they should just stop and get on with it. It's not always that easy. Some people don't just, don't manage to do that no and others do and and personally for me i always look up to god and i kind of go thank you thank you i've you know so far today i haven't had one and it's been quite a few years yeah yeah brilliant you should be very proud of yourself I am you should be so proud of yourself that is something that I hold

most likely most special to me because I know if I do pick up a drink and start getting out of control again then all bets are off I don't know what will happen now for all I know I might be really sensible now.

My off button might switch on. But I ain't prepared to take that chance and spoil what has been, you know, an incredible 22 and a half years without it. And, you know, people said to me, especially when I was caring for Barbara, especially when she was very unwell with her dementia. So, so sad. So hard for you, so emotionally draining, heartbreaking.

For anyone, for anyone who cares for anyone, and you've been through it yourself. You know, you went through it with Dad. With dementia, of course, it's a kind of different thing because you have this, unfortunately, like mental impairment that is happening to their brain. And it can be a very painful thing to watch. I remember coming to your house and having a nice cup of tea with Bar and sitting with you both. Yeah.

And I think you'd gone off to make the tea. And this was kind of, not the late, late stages, but, you know, she had the disease. And I think she asked me the same question possibly nine times in about half an hour. And I left there thinking, how did, poor Scott, you know, it was so difficult and painful. And it really is because you have to learn, most of us, and I know there's going to be a lot of people listening to this that are going through this with someone in their family because it affects so many people now.

And especially if you're a lone carer with that horrible illness, because of things like that, I would sit in night after night. Once we couldn't really go out anywhere anymore, we i would sit in night after night once we couldn't really go out anywhere anymore we just sit in night after night and that repetition and barbara used to get stuck in terrible loops of doing that and what i used to try and do is i learned to do once i'd got over getting irritable of Of course. Because you're human. Of course. And honestly, if there's anyone out there who's caring for someone, please don't beat yourself up. No.

If you get a bit irritable, you're human. We're not naturally prepared for this. No, prepared, made, set up for that. No, we didn't choose, you know, we most likely didn't choose to be a carer. We wouldn't have an understanding of it. And what happens is on about the 10th time that they've asked you the same question and you explain it yeah there's a beat and then they look at you like it's the first time which in their head it is it's the first time they've said it yes and it's your 11th and occasionally i used to show it in my face of course and then they'll see it.

And Bar used to say to me, I can see I'm pissing you off. And I used to go, oh, sweet. I said, you know what it is? I said, this memory thing. I said, we've been talking about that. I said, you can't help it, darling. You can't help it.

And then, you know, she'd get a recognition of what I was trying to say. But what I always did was, before I answered something, I'd smile. So even if it was the 18th time, as she said it, I'd smile to start the answer. And that way there was this friendly thing coming towards her. Yes. Do you know what I mean? So that's one little thing that I learned.

One little way of distraction and everything else that i learned or there is obviously changing the subject i mean it's a whole you know that's a that's another podcast anyway goodness but you know all i will say is my heart goes out to everyone yeah out there who who is seeing a loved one go through it or has seen a loved one go through it, it's nothing you would wish on anyone. No, no. And, you know, we can only pray that one day... There's a cure. There's a cure, a treatment to slow it right down.

Yeah. You know, that's what we aim for. And let's talk about your role now, after doing the fundraising, the marathons, you've been outside Downing Street, you've sat with Boris Johnson, and you go, I'll say, are you all right, Scott? He says, I'm not going to be around,

because I've got to go and have lunch with this scientist. You're really involved now. I am. So tell us a bit about that, because it's incredible. It's somewhere, personally, I thought I would never have been. Let me tell you something, Nat. I left school at 15 because I didn't take any exams. And they thought it was best at school when I was 15 that I left because I was being distracting for other people who were taking exams.

And I did have a kind of job to go to. And, you know, my family had a business that I was naturally going to join. For a long time, I felt, oh, you know, I can't believe I'm never going to do anything with my life. You know, I haven't got exams. I haven't got this. Were you unhappy leaving school then? Did it upset you at the time? I didn't like school.

I'll be quite honest with you. The only thing I liked at school was drama. Yeah. That was the only thing that i was interested in yeah i wasn't particularly great at the sports i wasn't captain of the school rugby team you know i was five foot nothing i would have got flattened everything i did so so no it was most likely drama and then fashion yeah it was my thing you know that that's what i was really into but it it's amazing, you know, and people mustn't feel inferior because they don't have degrees and things like that. Oh, I totally agree.

And that's another big one, you know. That's another thing that causes us all the most horrible anxiety and feeling inferior to other people because we don't have that kind of academic education. It's nonsense. I agree with you. I really, really do. I am a firm believer if you're socially switched on,

if you can speak to people and look them in the eye, and you can talk to a prince, you can talk to a pauper, and you can chat to people, I really believe in an interview room, you'll get far. Absolutely. I really, really do. and you can chat to people i really believe in an interview room you'll get far absolutely i really really do when do you ever when you're even when you're 25 30 yeah when do you ever sit around the table and say oh well i got uh so and so my gcc's who cares oh i got this in the a level no one talks about it no unless you have a vocation i always say unless you you should go to university

sure if you're going to be a vet you want want to be, you know, an academic, like you say, an academic studying something. Yeah. I say, go for it. Your Oxford, your Cambridge, amazing things come out of those places. Yeah. Incredible. Yeah. But I don't want my kids going to university.

I genuinely don't. If they desperately want to go because they've got something they want to do but i want to get get out meet people get to work do an apprenticeship live life start owning money yeah i know it's a difficult thing i think there may be more expectations now for young people yeah in terms of grades when when i left school it wasn't as much so I think now people see these maybe they expect certain grades for certain jobs yes of course so there may be a change in that but my point is really is that the things that I've done and especially with what you referred to in the work I've done for awareness and fundraising and all these things campaigning absolutely the government

hasn't made any difference as you say i can talk to be if you talk to people from the heart yeah then it gets through if you talk your truth then people will listen to you and believe you we all know when someone's bullshitting yeah we do you see it really bullshit you see it all the time you see it every day you see it the whole time you know and i did something recently very brief and i don't want to bore people with this whole thing it's not it's amazing it's great it's interesting one of the things where barbara and i first went to downing street uh to campaign for it was social care and better funding for dementia research because it's so far behind all the others.

And we did that. And then a couple of years later, of course, the pandemic happened. Then I lost dear Barbara. And nothing had happened with all these, you know, what he was going to do. And I wrote to him again. And I said... Was this Boris? This was Boris.

And I said, look, I realise there's obviously there's been a pandemic. Everything has been affected. But dementia is still happening. It hasn't gone away. People are still really struggling out there, whether it be on the social care side. The funding is still under. You know, we have to do something. Didn't hear anything because, of course, there was lots of stuff going on at that time.

And then a week before he left office, I got phone call i was in bed one morning my mobile went eight o'clock in the morning yeah and it was one of the prime minister's aides and he said scott the prime minister wondered if you could pop in this week and see him before he leaves at the end of the week so i went yeah i reckon i can i'll tell you where i was going in the afternoon Michelle Collins wedding reception so I went from down in the street to Michelle Collins reception so I went there and I sat down and I explained to him what I'd gone through with Barbara and he'd known her for before from when he was the Lord Mayor yes she was his street party ambassador bringing all the communities together and everything and I explained to him how awful it ended up for her and and how she ended up and he did look visibly moved and i said to him

prime minister i said is any of your family ever had had anything like this and he said um he said i think i had an aunt that went a bit vague and i said there you go I said it's hard to even talk about or say the word isn't it I said that's very possibly dementia yes that's what we're talking about but he did say after I'd spoken at him for 25 minutes I doubt if he'd ever been silent that long but I did he did say look we have taken on board. And the other thing I did, I took an initiative that I'm an ambassador for Alzheimer's Research UK. And they said, when you're writing to him, would you put this initiative to him? So you remember when we had the COVID vaccine and we had a task force of all these incredible scientists and people and they just focused on finding this vaccine. So they said, why don't we have the same thing, but just for dementia?

So it makes perfect sense. Yeah. So put said, why don't we have the same thing, but just for dementia? See, it makes perfect sense. Yes. So put that to him in the letter. So what he did do, he said, look, we are going to double research from 80 million to 160 million for dementia research. And the idea for this task force, this dementia mission we are going to do,

he said, and with your permission, we'd like to call it the Dame Barbara Windsor Dementia Mission. Incredible. And I remember looking up to the heavens and I could just see her little face now and how proud she would have been. She would have been so proud of you. She would have been so proud, you know,

to know that her name was going to continue. Her legacy would continue of course in such a way such a worthwhile way and is that happening as we speak that's happening as we speak where is that then that's run by the office for life sciences okay so i was recently asked um that was fact that was done in 2022 and this year I was asked to take a role on it. Don't laugh. No, go on. The People's Champion.

Amazing. I bloody love it. So listen, what they're doing is at the moment they're setting up what's going to be a people's panel. My job, obviously, please don't panic everyone, I'm not going to be doing the science. You ain't relying on me for that. But what I will do is I'll be meeting organisations of patients and people's lived experiences. Yeah. Sharing with them what they're finding difficult, where the difficult times are.

Coming back, feeding that into the mission. Yeah. So that when they're coming up with all these treatments, they're looking at every aspect of it. So, yeah. They're the two things I'd most, you know, I'm really proud of those things, being sober and what's been achieved in the dementia things. And I'm not going to be put off by doing it. I don't do it for any other reasons, but it keeps Barbara's legacy alive. Absolutely. And there's one thing I promised myself when I was caring for her and I saw her go through some really traumatic experiences

that I witnessed that still can wake me up at night. And I thought to myself, well, I can't beat this dementia because it's too big, it's too powerful. But if I can do anything by using her name for awareness, that's my way of fighting it back. And that's what I've done. And it's like a bug inside me now. Yeah.

And until people say, go away, we're sick of hearing about it, then I'll go away. Yeah, yeah. Okay, but until then, as long as they say to me, this has made a difference, this is making a difference, then I'll do it. Yeah. It's as simple as that as that i think it's absolutely amazing i think you're amazing because that's a lot of work you've got your own life to do you and tanya are really happy and that's fantastic to see absolutely you know it's so wonderful absolutely i am very happy barbara would have been thrilled for you i know she would you know she would listen she always said to me

you know what she was like yeah and she always used to say to me even before she had dementia used to say listen love i'll die first i know so shut up no you won't i said i'll go first yeah i said you'll be with a young fella dancing on my grave six months later she said i'll go first she said and when i go she said i want you to be broken hearted. Cry. How? She said, but promise me, Scott, you will pick yourself up. She said, promise me you won't drink. And you will live the best life you can.

Yeah. She said, because that's what I did, sweetheart, with my life. And she did. Yeah. But I did. She had an amazing life. Incredible. She lived 10 lives over.

She didn't care what she did. Yeah. But I did. She had an amazing life. Incredible. She lived 10 lives over. She didn't care what she did. No. She took no prisoners. And she might have got criticized for it at times. But you know what? I'm very lucky. I've met a really lovely partner who's a friend of yours anyway. Absolutely.

Tanya Franks. We met through running. Yes. That same first marathon that we were talking about. Well, that's it. Tanya was going through the same thing with her stepdad. That's right. Lovely Derek. Yes, with the same illness, who unfortunately has recently passed.

And that's how we kind of bonded. Yes. That's how we became friends. We built this firm friendship of supporting each other, knowing what we were going through. And we just realised we liked each other, you know, after a few years. But, you know, she's one of the people I grieved to. Yes. You know, I grieved to Tanya.

She was like a support to me as I went through that. And I know you've done that. I thought the grieving episode that you did was absolutely incredible. I thought it was so powerful. Oh, thank you. And it was so on the button because it is so different for everyone but life is for living unfortunately when we do lose people they're not coming back they're not coming back and all we can do to honor their memory actually is we have to have a great we have to have a good time we have to keep

their memory alive like you're doing of course in a very you know in my tiny way dad lived here and there's a part of the house that i'll show you in a minute because we've come up to do this but yeah that's granddad's and i'll say you're going in granddad's lounge i keep his name alive i you know we talk about funny things i lost my mum over 20 years ago now but i'll still say to the girls your nanny ev's favorite was abba your nanny ev loved the was Abba your nanny Ev loved The Carpenter you know songs come on

you just have to remember the good times of course you do remember the good times and of course you're going to get sad and you're going to shed a tear sometimes

yeah but life is life and you are going to die at the end of it unfortunately why did you have to ruin my evening

what I thought I was going to get away with it live forever yeah no you bloody will I my evening I thought I was going to get away with it live forever I don't know if I want to oh Scott it's been so lovely chatting to you it really has thank you

and I feel very honoured to be asked on to I've got a whiteboard now everybody I've got this whiteboard and I write ideas on so straight away I'm going to get I've got a whiteboard now everybody I've got this whiteboard and I write ideas on so straight away I'm going to do right episode with Scott marathon

episode with Mark the invisible men I'm going to put them all on listen once you come on then you only I'll be going oh do you fancy coming back on again you know

I even got on a train to come here and that's a bit of an adventure for you that is a bit of an adventure did you have to bring a small suitcase socks pants no you were right I thought I was going to be alright And that's a bit of an adventure for you. That is a bit of an adventure. Did you have to bring a small suitcase, socks, pants? No? You were all right?

I thought I was going to be all right because I'm returning tonight. As far as I know, I might wait for Mark to get home from work and stay over. Who knows? Well, who knows? You know, because we have a lot to talk about. It's true. And listen, best not to. Let's just take the evening as it goes.

I can't wait to catch up with you and Tanya later, honestly. I really, really can't wait. Fantastic. Thanks so much, Nat. Thank you. Everyone, I hope you've enjoyed this really special episode. Lots and lots of stuff there that you can mull over. The good, the bad and the ugly.

But as you can tell, Scott is one of the warmest, kindest, cleverest men I know. And it's an honour to know him. And it's a real honour to work with him. So I really hope you enjoyed that. That's all from me. And I'll speak to you next time. I'll see you soon, Scott. Absolutely.

Lots of love. Lots of love to everyone as well. Bye. See ya. Hi, this is Chris McCausland. And this is Diane Boswell. And we've got a new podcast, haven't we, Di? We do.

What's it called? Winning. Isn't. Everything. Every week, me and Diane, we're going to be having a little catch up on the back of Strictly, aren't we, Di? We are. I've missed you, Chris. I've missed you too. We're going to talk some nonsense, so why not tune in? Available everywhere you get your podcasts.