Life with Nat - EP238: Nagging with Auntie Linny #27 - THE BIG DAY

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

Nat and Linny chat weddings, the pressures and the joy of the big day. And it’s making Nat think..! EnjoyGet in touch with Nat, buy tickets for upcoming live shows and find the family on Instagram: ⁠lifewithnatpod.komi.io⁠ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Nata will be here in just a moment for a Natter. And after this episode, make sure you check out Made by Mommas. Zoe Hardman is joined by Sex and Relationships expert Dr Tara for a brilliant chat about long-term relationships, intimacy and keeping the spark alive. As always with Dr Tara, it gets a little spicy. Search for Made by Mommas now and get the episode queued up. I can't believe you're doing the drive. I mean, what lengths I'm going to.

to stop people from parking outside my own house. I mean, it's quite extreme. No, it's really expensive as well. You're going to get what you want. Well, not quite, but we're sort of 90% there. No, it's because it aggravates me. Is there anybody else out there that gets the out when someone parks out there? But they're allowed.

They're allowed to park on the street. I know, but it's outside my bloody house. I do understand it. I've got so territorial about it. I even feel that way. When I have to park outside someone's house. What, you feel bad? I feel a bit bad because I feel like it is encroaching on someone's space, right by their windows, by their drive.

It's just bloody annoying. But there you go. What can you do? Is it going down well? Is it all right? Oh my God. They only started this morning and, yeah, I've got home and I'm like, wow. Yeah, they're brilliant.

They're doing, yeah, they're good, really good. So, yeah, so I will have been a new drive by the end of this week? Lovely. You've been for your walk tonight? Been for my walk. Had to because I had a few little nights out. Went to a lovely Italian restaurant on Wednesday night. Yeah.

Locally, that was really nice. All the birthday celebrations still. Lovely. And I was up the golf club yesterday. Yes. So nice up there. No idea, your brother, don't bloody come home. I mean, I'd really become a golf widow.

He's always up there. But it was lovely. Good company. Everyone's so friendly. A couple of the wives up there come running over because they listen to the pod. What are their names? So Lynn and Sue. Oh, hello, Lynn and Sue.

Yeah, we're expecting to see you at Bishop Storford. Yeah, they're lovely, really lovely. And, yeah, Sue come over and said, I love listening to it. I said, well, come and see us. And her daughters ironically moved to Bishop Storfford. Perfect. So I said, there you go. No excuse.

I will see you there, Lynne and Sue. I've got two bums on seats at Bishop Stortford. But, yeah, it's so nice up there. It's a lovely atmosphere. They're a lovely crowd. The kids, and Lisa come up with the kids. Dom and Dave were playing. It's really nice.

You don't realize, I think it is, again, that sense of community. It's not just a game. No, Natalie. It's a family, almost. I'm actually envious that I don't have that kind of activity where, you know, once a week, you're going to meet up with all your girlfriends, you're going to play whatever sport it is or whatever hobby it is. And then you've got the social aspect. The Vice President Dave, his daughter is a sick.

Yeah. She sang. It was just a lovely... Nice afternoon. Chilling on the balcony. The weather was cracking. It's so good. Little question for you.

Why don't? You get yourself up to Cruz Hill. And learn to play golf. Have a couple of lessons. Yeah, because I've got so much time on my hands. It's a long game, isn't it? Yeah, well, while... So this weekend, whilst your brother was playing golf,

I worked Saturday morning, had Ruby and Amelia Saturday afternoon. Yeah. He came home. with Sunstroke at 6 o'clock. Then Sunday, Dave went to golf game, competition, I walked, come home, did you, got myself ready and went up to Cruise Hill. So that's why I don't plague off.

But do you know what? They've got women players up there, not many. It is still very male-orientated. But many of the partners go up there. It's just a lovely crowd. It's very social. And if you're not really a pub, like your brother's not really a pub person.

No, no, that's right. So that is just lovely because he's made a huge circle. Well, last weekend they went to the 2K, pretty of them. It's so lovely. Sorry about the planes, everybody, but we've got the wind dive and it's a bit warm. It's fine. We've got a message actually. Oh, yeah.

Regarding the golf club. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Have a listen to this. But Cruz Hill? Yeah. Hey Nat, I just wanted to say, I've just watched caring together. What an amazing program.

I'm living with stage four breast cancer and I have done for seven years since 42. And if it wasn't for the amazing. nursing staff at the Lister and various support groups up and down the country, I don't know where I would be. My husband is my carer and he's my absolute rock. I'm so lucky. Thank you for the doc. It was a real eye-opener. And yes, I am sat here with tears in my eyes. P.S., my husband played golf at Cruz Hill and remembers your brother from up there, sending you and your beautiful family lots of love, Natalie, in St. Neat's. Oh, blimey. It's such a small world, isn't it? Really small.

What about Evie and Don meet in the other day? I mean, it's so... I mean, not that my son needs any excuse to stay out. No. Takes after his father. I phone down Lisa, checking. I said, where's Tom? She went, he's bumped into Evie.

And Evie is Tony's daughter, for the listener. So I was like, what do you mean he's bumped into Evie? She goes, yeah, in London. I mean, what are the chances are there? So nice. And it wasn't... Well, it's London, but it's quite... Burroughs, not Liverpool Street, is it?

The most round, oh nice. They went for a drink, yeah. Really lovely. When this goes out, it's Evie's birthday at the weekend, so happy birthday to Evie. Happy birthday, darling. It's also Jenny and David's birthday tomorrow, so a big happy birthday to them.

And when it comes to Monday, it's also Phoebe's birthday. So I've done all my family, happy birthdays. Goodness me. Lots, but funnily enough, really good. I said to Mark, I'm so busy, you need to do the presents this year. You need to go and get your family some presents. I know it's our family, but I usually do most of it,

and I said, I'm very busy. Has it? Yeah, he's done it all. What, he's done it all. What, without you guy? I haven't guided him. He's gone out, he's done it all. Brilliant.

What'd you do then, pop it in the post? Yeah, he's going to wrap it all up and put it into boxes. So they get it, yeah. All done, Mark. So that's good. You know what he's got them? Yep. Yeah, you're happy with it?

Very happy, yeah. Oh, excellent. It's all good. Very nice. I'm sweating here. Are you? Really hot. No.

I've been sweating all day. All the best. I wonder if I've got hot flushes or I'm ill. I don't think I am. I feel fine. It's fine. Hot flushes, maybe. We had a message from,

I've just got to play at Link because it's just funny. She's a bit of a lunatic. I don't think she'll mind me saying so but have a listen to this Hi Natalie I had just like to let you know that I had to delete my last voice like because it was two and a half minutes long when I was talking absolute waffle

so I'm going to try and narrow it down I just want to say massive fan of the pod as you already know us Caldries love the pod Steve was actually at my family lot he was actually at Linney's house the other day I think he was looking at doing some more work in their kitchen

I said to him Please tell me you told Linny That I love her On the pod Please tell me you told I think he did He didn't We're all big fans

He was actually a wedding at the weekend My partner's cousin's wedding And his mom I was talking to her And we was all saying How much we love the pod You came up in conversation I'm a real big fans

And I was just wanting to say as well I honestly don't know How I would do housework Without the pod Because I really struggle I've got ADHD And I'm really struggle Getting motivated

but when I listen to your pod, I'm all in. I am like literally 100,000 hours. I'm like, I can't do anything. So yeah, and I just love it. It really helps to help me concentrate and focus on what I'm doing because I'm locked in and interesting and I'm not getting distracted. So yeah, it's just slightly over one minute,

but I just meant to say that I can't wait for December. Me and my partner, Smamora. We are coming soon, December at Bishop Stortford, and I can't wait. Love for you all. Oh, Jen. Yes, thank you. Oh, how far.

She's a character. She's a right-up character. Not December, Jess, is it? What, Bishop Stalkford? November, isn't it? Yeah, none of them are in December. She kept quote in December, bless her. Well, you know.

Unless you're coming to the pantomime. Yeah. She's coming to see the wicked queens. Oh, well, oh. Well, your father-in-law's lovely, but don't tell him that. But yeah. As is your mother-in-law. Oh, bless them.

Oh, it's lovely. Really, really lovely. So we popped out a message. And it was your idea, wedding season is upon us. It is indeed. And you see it. Not that we've got one this year. No wedding this year.

No weddings. No. I rarely get invited to any weddings. Yeah, we had a spell of them. But lots of people go to a lot of weddings. I feel like I don't. No. It's funny, isn't it?

Is it because your circle of friends aren't married or? Don't like me. No, I think there's been quite a lot of intimate ones. Yeah. But I had this lovely message. This is from Brienney. And Brianie is a camera operator at EastEnders. Dear friends with Mark and myself.

And she did invite us to her wedding, but we are away. So I can't make it. But I really want to read this. It's quite a long one, but I just thought it was so well written. And this is from Briani. Hey, Natalie, Mark mentioned you were going to discuss weddings on the pod tonight. And as I'm in the trenches right now, I thought I'd share my biggest gripe with the wedding world,

which is the dress shopping. To start off, most shops I found charge for appointments, which if I squint my eyes at the concept, I'm somewhat willing to get on board. Of course the shops are beautiful, everyone gets a glass of bubbles, but a lot of the time you are sharing the space with other parties, which I understand it's a business

and they can facilitate two or three bridal parties, then more power to you. However, there were a few times that I had to wait for other brides to finish trying on dresses, so I could try them on, which when you're in your spanked trying to make small talk to the bridal assistant, it's a very humbling feeling. Just for reference, my cheapest shop was £25, and the most expensive was £95. Do you remember that? Yeah. Yeah, you'd have to pay for... Wow. I ended up going to seven shops, so just for the privilege of indecisiveness, I set myself

back a fair amount at the starting line. Then there's the phrase made to measure. When I heard that, I imagined a dress lovingly crafted to fit my body perfectly. Instead, they measured every inch of me, typed it all into a laptop like they were launching a space shuttle, paused dramatically, and then announced, we recommend ordering a size 12. A size 12, revolutionary stuff. Turns out it means someone measures you, ignores all the measurements, orders the nearest size, then sends you off to a seamstress to sort it. That's not. made to measure, that's to roughly estimate, which is true. I paid for the privilege of discovering the same information I could have got from a pair of Zara

jeans. Asda could advertise a made-to-measure service if they handed someone a tape measure before directing them to Isle 7. Turns out we are all living bushy lives than we fall. The groom in this equation has yet to buy his shirt for the day. Must be fun to be the groom. Anyway, enough whining from me. Hope you're all very well.

We miss you dearly. Speak soon. Brieney, cameras at EastEnders. Oh, lovely, Brieney. But I love that. Yeah, and she makes a valid point there, doesn't she? Well, I don't know, so I want to talk to you about the made-to-measure thing because obviously I haven't done it yet.

But made-to-measure does sound like someone is going to absolutely make you fit. Well, made-to-measure, you believe the dress is being made for you, Yeah. For your bespoke, maybe. It's not necessarily the case. They'll order a size 12, say, if you're a size between a 10 and a 12, they'll order a 12 and they'll adjust it based on your shape, size, etc. I mean, yeah, the whole, you know, the wedding, listen, as the mother of the bride,

and I was privileged enough to be very involved with Annalise for two because obviously our relationship and I know years, blah, so she included me on many of her bridal fittings. I mean, my biggest memory is

Maria trying on her first dress. I think it was me, Elia and Elisa, I can't recall, there was a few of us. And, you know, you've got this whole thing where you've watched

Father of the Bride and, you know, just the complete picture of how it's going to be. You've got your glass of bubbly and... Maria goes around the back she tries on her first dress

and then you come out and you stand on a podium so you look like your six foot tall but you're not really going to be standing on a podium or at your wedding are you? And I always remember the first dress she'd come out there was like this deadly silence and they were just all bursting out well that's not the reaction I was expected

because you know she had had this idea in her head of what sort of dress she wanted and she picked as close to it as possible And then when she came out, we just thought it was hilarious. She looked hideous. And I do remember that. But, yeah, I mean, it's a whole, what a business. Yeah, massive.

What a business. Massive. And I think we even, well, with Maria's week, when she did choose her dress, it was beautiful. It was beautiful. But the stress that come with it when she went to collect it and the seamstress had made an absolute, well, first of all, it wasn't arriving.

Yeah, I remember that. I remember it not riving. And I've got to take my socks off. I'm so hot. We do this a lot on this pod, not with me. It's the first. Sorry. You're going to pick your Tone.

No, I'm not going to do that. I'm so hot. Oh, she's definitely a bit perimen. I'm fine. Really hot. And you've got a t-shirt on, short sleeves. Jeans. Oh, dear.

Oh. But still. Yeah, and I do, anyway, for whatever reason this dress just was, it was coming from Israel, Egypt. Yeah, Israel, I think. It was Israel, I think. It was Israel. and it just wasn't arriving and it was being delayed and they were fobbing us off

and anyway, we're getting closer and closer to the wedding day and we were like, this is really stressful because obviously you've got to try it then if it's not right, they've got alter it, anyway, by sheer fluke, the designer only have, I was talking to my goddaughter Amy about it and the designer happened to be the same designer

of dress that she had worn ironically. She said Linda, I've got the designer's phone number. I went sorry? She went, I've got his phone. He's mobile. Wow. She gives him his phone, mobile.

I bring him up. He answers the phone. We're having a conversation. And at one point I've got, his name was Daddy. Right. And I've gone, Daddy, you've got to help me. And everyone in the office just burst. And he played a blinder.

Dress comes over, but the alteration was abysmal. Oh, my God. Oh, no. It was so. stressful, something that's meant to be enjoyable. Enjoyable. And I think even Anne Lisa had a similar experience. I want to say that they went under, but luckily she had just collected her dress.

And then the company went under. My tip to all you brides out there, get wedding insurance. Because look at COVID. Yeah. And Lisa had wedding insurance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank the Lord. Yeah, absolutely.

It's so important. Regardless of what you're spending, whether you're having a five grand wedding or a 55,000-pound wedding. Well, you're still spending the money that's all ready, absolutely. So for what you paid for wedding insurance, I think, and Lisa at the time did it through John Lewis, and it wasn't astronomical. No. It at least gives you some form of protection because you just don't know.

No, you never know. It's like some people go on holiday, don't then? They don't get insured. And they think, I ain't going to waste the money. And I think, goodness me, that's crazy. It's too big a risk, anything. So, and I think it should be no different. Well, you're spending a lot more on a wedding.

I don't think I'd go for a dress now. I got married. No, I get that. I think I'd go for a lovely crisp, beautiful trouser suit. But even if you did go for a dress, you'd go for something possibly a little bit more, you know, something straight. Just something a bit more classic. Yeah, you're not going to go full on. Brides.

See, that'd be interesting to know what ladies, girls think about this. If there's a certain age where, not that women tend to wear the big blamonge. wedding dresses that we wore back in the day. They are slightly more fitted, aren't they? I think you'd be really surprised. I think if people get married and it's their dream, I don't think it matters. What age you are.

People go, they go for the dress that they want to go for. And do the veil, do the whole shabay. No, I mean, each to their own. But there's a bit of me that thinks, is there an age where you're, or if you've been married before, would you, is it appropriate to then do it again a second time and have the whole thing? You know, the bouquet.

It is, yeah, it's interesting to know people's thoughts on it. But I'm just still quite surprised at the what people now spend still. In this day and age, where the cost of living is so high, to buy a property or rent a property is so expensive, it shocks me what people are still spending, us included, what we are still spending on weddings. So, sis, it says here, in the UK, the average wedding currently costs about 20 to 22 grand.

The average. Average. And I can assure you there's probably many that are paying way more than that. Well, if you're in London, expect to pay 25 to 50% more. So probably 25 to 35 plus. UK couples roughly spend 270 to £2, £280 pound per guest on average.

Yeah, so if you're having 120 guests, how's that? Well, that's just, yeah. But again, that is a lot, isn't it? A lot of people. We've got one here that you're like a message regarding guests. It's Jen from New Jersey, our lovely listener. Weddings, ha. I'm not sure how they do it there, but in New Jersey it's a fucking spectacle.

One of my besties, married twice now, had the most insane, first wedding I've ever been to. Gigantic New Jersey, New York City, Italian wedding. This shit was so huge. 400 plus guests. The most insane cocktail hour I've ever seen, which had probably 200 starters from an oyster bar to carving stations, etc. Don't even get me started on the dessert hour.

Had to have cost over half a million easily. I mean, the Italians. Go. New York, New York, New Jersey. I can imagine in America. Italians in America. Yeah, Italians used to love a wedding and they were big weddings. I was going to say, because we were big families.

Yeah. And back in the day, you'd invite everybody. Your bank manager, the milkman, the accountant, your neighbours, your work. How many was yours? 220. Right. Which in those days, that was considered, like, you know, for an Italian, when I say Italian English wedding, it was considered, oh, it was considered.

I remember we invited nearly everybody that we work with, Dave and I at Fisbury Park. Nearly every staff member attended. We both worked at the same branch. Then I had loads of family and friends. Yeah, yeah. Your mum had a big family. Yeah. It doesn't.

It sounds a lot, but. And then in those days, you know, like Maria and Lisa's weddings, no children. No. So already you're eliminating. With Annalisa, I think we calculated there would have been 40 children. So already you've eliminated 40. people. And it's expensive stuff per head.

The entertainment now, it's all full on... People want bands, they want... Yeah, it's to a different level. But we've got some lovely messages here. You know, some people do do things... On a lower scale. A lot of people do. Well, yeah, I get it.

And it doesn't mean to say that if you've got all singing or dancing, it's necessarily going to be the... best wedding. It's about the people. It's all about the people you've got there. Yeah. Because they're going to make it. I don't know. Of course they are. And it doesn't really matter where you are. It really doesn't in the end. Oh no. Let's have a listen to this. Hi, Nat and Auntie Linney. It's Joe from Bristol here. I've just seen your message, Nat. And I've got to say, I absolutely love a wedding. Just literally at my favourite thing. But it's okay as a guest. Now, my daughters get married next year and as a family we attended my brother's wedding this year, which was absolutely fantastic, but literally must have cost thousands and thousands and thousands.

And we're talking probably a deposit for a very, very, very decent house. And we all had a fantastic day and it was great. but it did make me wonder and helping my daughter plan hers, is it all about the photos nowadays? And with that, I mean, it seems to be guessless. Let's, this is my big bug bear. So back when I got married, which is, you know, nearly 30 years ago, you kind of invited family, people that you see regularly.

And I do get that nowadays, some people have quite big extended. families and I'm part of a big extended family but you know in my daughter's case she's close to my extended family but yet some of them aren't invited to the wedding and I find that quite hard to kind of come to terms of don't get me wrong they're invited to the evening do but I'm the type of person that kind of I guess always puts family first and I think that actually family should tram apart from your really close friends, I think when it comes to a wedding, your family should trump your friends. And I'm not talking about it sort of best friend in that situation, but I just think, you know, acquaintances or people you work with or, you know, no, they should not be coming to, they're the people to come to the evening do.

And I will have a bit of a rant now about this. But is it just me? I just don't know. and I think there's a lot of emphasis on where you have your wedding now. And maybe it's because these options weren't available back in the day to a lot of people, but most people were kind of happy with, you know, little registry office and then a do or a church wedding and a do somewhere. And it wasn't made out to be as big a thing as it is now. And I think there's so much pressure on people when they're getting married now to have the, you know,

Instagram perfect wedding and it kind of just takes away about what from why you'll get a marriage I think Maybe I've got old-fashioned views. I'm probably have I am getting on a bit but um I just yeah I don't know it It just doesn't sit right with me and I'm really having to bite my tongue with the whole wedding planning thing and You know take a step back and think it's their it's their day and I realize I've ranted for far too long So much more I can say I know but I'm I'm not going to but yeah it is is really stressful. And as much as on the day, I will love it and it will be fantastic. It's getting to that point, which is really stressful. Take care. Bye. Oh, thank you, Joe. That was a lovely message. Lots to unpack there.

Well, the whole invite, the guest list, I look, I've, having now been through two of our own weddings, I do feel that if failure and Jack decided to get married, I genuinely would be saying, your wedding, you do you. You invite who you want. You have it where you want. If you want 10 people, it's fine by me. Do you want a thousand people? Why do you feel that you've learnt from the other ones?

I feel like, but it's like anything in life. When you do it for the first time, it's new to you as well. It's exciting. It's different. You want to be, you want it to be perfect. You don't want to, it's like having your first child to have your third child. There's such a vast difference, Natalie, in the way you do things. You know, with your first child, you do everything, text book.

Yeah, yeah. By the time it gets your third child, it's like, no, it's okay. Yeah. I'm just going to do this my way. Yeah. It's a similar kind of concept. What was so important to me, like when Maria got married, I didn't want to upset anybody.

I wanted to make sure that everyone that should be invited was there. I totally am with you, Joe, with the family, comes before friends and acquaintances. but it's the bride and grooms day. They've got to have Auntie Joan there who they see once a year and yet you've got their neighbours who are their best, not their best friends, their neighbours who are very good friends.

Yeah. They've got invited to the evening. No, I kind of feel like the neighbours who are their friends should be there because Auntie Joan they see once a year. But then you don't know, do you? You don't know the situation. No, listen, I'm not referring to theirs,

I'm not referring to their specific situation. I just think, you know, these days are very, it's like we've had people get offended because children weren't invited. The trouble is you have one child, you've got to have them all. Yeah, absolutely. And, you know. But even that should not be the case. You should be able to say I'm having my family children, but not friends. Absolutely.

You should be able to set what rules you want. Absolutely. The girls have been invited to weddings where their partners haven't been invited. Yeah. Because the person that's getting married doesn't know the partners. Yeah, or from work or whatever. Exactly. And again, I actually, back in the day, I would have thought that was most peculiar

if David got invited to a wedding and I wasn't invited. I'd think, well, that's odd. You know, he's got a wife. But I kind of get it. Well, it's all cost as well. It's cost. Indeed. And if you've got 60 people, you've got a little venue.

And limited numbers. You might not be able to have the numbers there. So I do, you know, again, my mindset was a bit different as well. We helped dominate. and Maria with their weddings, we contributed. So I did feel I had a right to say I wanted my friends there because I was equally paying for that wedding. Now, one could argue, well, no.

Yeah, ultimately. Interestingly, I'd say no. No, yeah, there you go. Yeah, see, so people's, the perception, whereas I thought, well, I'm spending a lot of money. So I'd like a little bit of something. Not that it was ever an issue because my friends are the children's friends, because we've had that kind of. But in some cases, there were, say, some of Dave's work colleagues

that the kids didn't really know that Dave wanted to invite, which obviously they had no issue with. But one, they could have turned around and said, well, no, I'm not going to have your work colleagues that I've never met. I think we will have flooding messages about Dave's workmates been invited to a daughter's wedding that they don't really know. Which happened. But that wasn't at the detriment of others.

Oh, no, no. It wasn't like saving a space, taking a place, sorry. I find it so interesting. But all of this talk makes me just not want to get married. And I can tell you one thing, based on the numbers we had at our weddings, it's an obscene amount of money.

Well, everything must have gone up, because look at life, like you just said. It's an obscene amount of money. The flowers, the entertainment, the food. We have a free bar because we're very much. And listen, I'm not saying that's the right thing. But ultimately, our view is we're going to invite you to one of our functions, whether it's a birthday party, a small gathering, a huge wedding,

we don't expect you to come along and have to pay. I'm inviting you, you know. Yeah, bar bills were obscene. I think I probably spent on Mark's birthday what some people possibly spend on a wedding. I'm sure you did. I'm sure you did. But then my view is if you're going to do it, you do it. And you've got to enjoy it.

And you've got to enjoy it. Because you can't look back and say, gosh, and be bitter about it because that would be terrible. No, no, no. You've got to have a lovely time. Go with it. Whatever that choice is. What must be heartbreaking is to spend that money. I mean, our weddings were, as you know, you were there.

Oh, brilliant. Fantastic. For me, yeah, I thought what, I was overwhelmed by both of them. Yeah. I felt, for her and Lisa, because I thought, I don't know how we're going to top Maria's,

but my God, she smashed it. It was amazing. What must be heartbreaking is to have spent all that money, and then you're sitting there, and the food is not what you had food tasting. Or the singer's crap. Or the singers.

Or don't turn up, or something happens, or someone's late, and it doesn't go to plan. I mean, yeah, it's heartbreaking. Yeah. Heartbreaking.

What about when the videographer's video was, She couldn't, her camera wasn't working. Oh yeah, that was good. That was good. I remember that one. That was really calm in 10 minutes, wasn't it? Thank God for Mark. I remember how stressful that was.

Well, she went into meltdown. Yeah, she had a bad for a meltdown. She probably thought, oh my God, this all singing all dancing wedding and my camera's failed me. Oh, no, no. That is crazy. How about this? Rear your wedding message.

As a single woman, I've always found weddings insanely expensive to attend alone. One friend ended up costing me around £2,000 because it was in Italy. Another cost about 1,500 with hen party in Manorca and then hotels in the countryside for the actual day. It's got to be one of Annalise's friends that's written in. Really? Well, a broad hen wedding in Italy. For the few that have cost me a fortune, I've managed to justify the money because one was a lovely trip to Italy and one was a stay in the countryside and girls hold to Monorca.

But last year, a lovely old friend really took me by surprise. And after asking me to be one of her bridesmaids, she offered to help out with the cost of accommodation for a few of us. She said that they had picked a fancy, expensive venue, and that was their choice, and that they wanted to help us pay for rooms to stay there, etc. This was so kind and unexpected, and every other friend has always expected me just to reach in my pockets,

despite not being very well off. It's a really lovely thoughtful gesture, which no other friend has made. Amazing. So do you think if someone is having an unnecessarily expensive wedding that they should understand all friends might not be able to afford it? Or do you think we should all be quiet and reach into our pockets? Again, it's from Annie.

Well, Annie, again, you've made some really valid points there. Again, as a family, we are very mindful because we've done it. We've been there. I've spent thousands going to weddings. All the kids, all their outfits, our outfits, the wedding present. Oh, the present. Staying in a hotel overnight because they want you to stay overnight

because they want you to have breakfast with them the following day, the ones that are abroad. It's thousands. Yeah, it's a lot. But it's thousands. But you've kind of got to, you know, for me, if it's someone in your life that's special to you and you're special to them

because they've invited you to one of the most important days of their lives, you've just got to embrace it. You've got to go for it. And if it is an overseas wedding, make it into, turn it into a bit of a holiday. I mean, obviously not everyone can afford. You know what we did for Unleases, the night of the wedding,

all the guests that were at the venue, which was 70 plus guests that were stayed at our venue, that was all on us. Yeah. You know. But again, it makes it more easy to swallow going over. It lightens the load for the guests to a degree. And it is a very kind thing to do.

You're fed and watered on the wedding day. Yeah. From 9 in the morning until 12 at night. You kind of try and give back, but, you know, not everyone is in a position to be able to do that. And I think if you're privileged enough to be invited, they are, they have become, even for guests, a very expensive day out.

You see, I think, when I think about getting married, I would want something to be the best of the best, but in a really small way. But that's achievable. But again, I still feel that everything that you want will cost the earth. It's so interesting. And in terms of even going abroad to do it, I really loved Dominic and Annalise's wedding.

Oh, it's beautiful. Because it's not just a day. No, it was a, absolutely. It's a break. Yeah. You're there. You have a lovely few days together. And the one thing for me that I will always take away from that wedding, which I always quote, so for any of you,

mother of the brides, grooms and brides and whoever guests, the guests, you're invited to a wedding abroad and you're privileged enough to be able to stay for a couple of days and you spend a couple of those days together. I had bar probably one or two, I don't think it is one or two, I think I have never been away with all my friends at the same time.

No. And family. Not to mention the family, direct family. And all your family And then all my Italian, well, many of my Italian family drove up from Naples. When would that ever, ever have so for me that will be a memory of a lifetime? Yeah, yeah, it was fantastic. I was away with all my friends.

Yeah. The following day, we're all in the pool. We're all playing. When's that ever going to happen? When are you ever going to be able to stay to 20, 30 of your friends, we're all going to go away and spend three days together? Oh, and all my family is going to be there too. Oh, and so, yeah. It's amazing.

Yeah, I just feel really, following. There's something about the abroad wedding. It's lovely, wasn't. And because that's the first one I've ever done. And I've never really agreed with them. I've always thought, I think it's a piss take. You're making people go on holiday. It's a lot for people.

And you hear this a lot. People talk like this. Genuinely, I thought, I can't, I don't. But when I went, I thought that is so special. Wasn't it? My favourite, I would say, my favourite wedding, just in terms of the whole relaxing, being there. Yeah, the weather, the climate, the food.

Oh, we're in Tuscanay. I mean, you can't get better. We're very fortunate. Yeah, it was. I truly loved it, yeah. So we're very excited because the year after next, we've got Anisa's brother getting married abroad. Oh, that's lovely.

I'm being presumptuous, and as you know, getting invited, but yeah. Another one. No, that's good. They are. They love, it's just a different vibe, isn't it? But equally, our wedding's here. You have just got to, in life,

I do think these occasions are special. Yeah, they are. But I have to say, you do need to realise that the weddings you've done aren't average weddings. No, they really weren't, were they? No. Because I have been to lots of weddings that are beautiful, but I would say an average wedding. So when you are talking, for the listener, they're very extra in a beautiful way. And you can do it.

It's a fortunate, lucky to be able to do so. But like that lady said They're deposits on the house Which in this day and age But in this day and age Yeah Buying a property is so expensive Yeah

Life is so expensive How are we still spending this sort of money Whether it's 15,000 20,000 30,000 35 It's a lot of money But again Something I'm going to say I think it's a Mediterranean thing I don't believe it's just an Italian thing

because I know the Greeks do it. Yes. We tend to give money as wedding gifts. Yes. And we tend to kind of calculate what a day out would cost you if someone was, if you were going out for the day in London, and you were having a wedding breakfast,

and you were having drinks, and then you were paying for entertainment, and then you were going to eat again in the evening. Yeah. We kind of give very generously. So the idea is the bride and groom, this is, you know, how it was back in the day, the bride and groom would make, have you ever watched the godfather where she's just putting loads of money in her silk, pillowcase type.

And it's about raising money for the bride and groom, so it gives them a little start in life. Yeah. And that's a tradition that still, we still very much do that. We give very, very generously. and that was quite apparent when the kids opened their wedding envelopes. So they kind of, they get back more or less what they spend. It's so interesting. That's a really interesting point.

I never thought about that. But again, like you say, it's different culture. It's different culture, yeah, and how they view it. I remember my cousin, Tony, Fiddlechall's dad, Fiddlech who we speak about. He got married. Oh, God, I don't know. I had Maria. Did I have Maria?

Yeah. So nearly 40 years ago, five. He married an American Italian, Marina. Yeah. There's 500 people at their wedding. 500. That was huge. Wow.

It was huge. Their wedding cake, it was Christmas time, their wedding. Yeah. She had one of those, Marina had one of those, like, 20-tier cakes. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like, all state, like, came out with women. dressed up as Santa and it was all, yeah, it was, oh my God.

So interesting me then, going back to kind of what Joe was saying about people doing a big show for Instagram. Yeah. In those days, you didn't have Instagram. That's what I'm saying. So the big shows still went on. Oh, yeah. My goodness. Without social media.

I think weddings were way bigger then than they are now. They've just become more expensive now. And obviously, I mean, I had a band at my wedding. Yeah, yeah. Me and your brother had a band 40 plus years ago. Yeah. But now these bands are. are like borderline professionals.

Yes, yeah. You know, and they're thousands. It's, yeah. And yeah, I guess there is that element of, you know, how much of, I don't think people are doing this solely for social media, but, you know, when you look at... Is it just the fact that stuff goes on social media now? So we're all saying, oh, they're doing it all for that.

I mean, I do think me and the girls have spoken. I know you listen to the pub, but it's about dancing. Yeah, I mean... I think some of it. of that is definitely to get on the socials to get likes and, you know, for things to go viral.

That really gives me the ick. Yeah, I don't like it either. Do you imagine Dominic? Where are the same to Dominic? Baby, where is that? They say, I'm in the car, I'm going out, I'm at the airport, going home. If you think I'm doing that.

But Dominic that wasn't going to dance, we couldn't get him off the dance floor. Do you recall? Excellent. And he's speed. was fantastic as well. And that's what I love about a wedding. Yeah.

I like a speech. I love the speeches and Dominic smashed it. Yeah, it was excellent. Cracking speech, isn't it? Very good. Very good. They are, mate. And again, I agree.

The speeches are up there with the best part of the week. When you're sat having a drink and the speeches start, that's my favourite bit maybe. Yeah. And the feet and the guests will interact or make. coming or brilliant. I remember my dad bless his heart.

He stood up to make his speech and one of Italian boy that we grew up with sitting nearby and he went you're going to stand up Bernard he was only four foot nine my dad and then he did the whole speech

in English thinking he was speaking in Italian he got himself in such a two and eight he did the whole speech in English when it's should. should have been in Italian. Right. And then he went,

and now I'm just going to say a few words in English. I thought, no, don't you've just done it all in English? Isn't it funny? Yeah, but that's nerve-wracking. No, he's never done it. Yeah, and he's never done it. And he made it hard for himself because if he had done it in Italian, that comes, that, that came that to him.

And interestingly, I think that's another thing that should be discussed. If people are nervous, people, and they don't want to do it, They shouldn't be offended. The people that have asked, they should say, it's going to ruin my day. Yeah. I'm not going to enjoy it. Again, what we did with Annalisa's dad,

because Franco is, you know, quite a quiet character. Yeah, absolutely. You know, he's never done public speaking. It's different for Dave. That's what he did. No, he loves it. He loves it. Can't get the bloody microphone off of the bloke.

But poor old Frank. And so we thought, and Lisa and her mum were absolutely right. They said, no, we're not going to ruin his entire meal. Absolutely. You think for it. Because Jack was. nervous. He was best man. He was nervous. Yeah. And couldn't really enjoy the wedding breakfast because you just want to get that speech out the way, don't you? And so Annalisa's dad said a few

words before the wedding breakfast. And that's absolutely the right thing to do. So there's no rules. You just got to do what works for you. Yeah. But I'm quite, I feel quite strongly on that. You shouldn't feel offended if someone says, I really don't want to. People get the out and poor. they should say that's absolutely fine but I would like you to be a part of it some, maybe you can walk me down or do a little clap or I just want you to feel that you're an important part of it

of it, you know? Of course. There's so many ways to include people and make them feel important and special on the day. Absolutely. Without necessarily putting them under an unnecessary Yeah, pressure, because it is. It is. Hey, just seeing your message about wedding chat, we are getting married in two months after only being

engaged for four weeks. And I thought, my goodness me, that's quick. Being together 13 years today. Unfortunately, my dad's health has taken a turn, so I want to make sure he is a part of the day, so we're speeding ahead. Let me know if you want to chat about the absolutely insane wedding world,

prices, conditions, etc. It's a totally wild ride, and that's from G. Thank you, G, if we have another conversation, I might give you a bell, but I hope it goes really well. And again, if that's your wish to have your dad there, Absolutely fantastic. I wish I'd got married when my dad was here. Do you, Natty?

Yeah, when I think about it, I would have liked to have my dad with me. Yeah. But it'll be fine because I've got two older brothers that I adore, so I'm very lucky in that respect to have those sort of older men in my life. And again, these weddings, unfortunately, they then highlight who you're missing. Yeah, I just remember, I cried for about two weeks before my wedding. I just couldn't stop crying. because I think the whole, it was so overwhelming

I'd been really, I'd been a bit unwell because I was running a home because obviously I was the only girl at home I'd bought a house with your brother and we were doing that up I was organising a wedding I had a high power job in the bank yeah, it was just all too much

I just remember two weeks before the winter I just could not stop crying but I think it was just stress probably and also just the fault that you know of all the time the whole not no not doing that without your mum.

Yeah, mother of the bride stuff. Come on, that's hard. You know, yeah, mum had been gone a few years, but not that long. Not that long. I think for me it's very different because she's been gone so long. Of course you'll think, I think every day I was showed my mum. But again, there's you, there's Sharon, there's the girls. I've got my life is, I've got all my relationships.

I've got my own daughters, my own girls, you know, it's different. But yeah, for you, that must have been very, very hard. So imagine how many couples are. You know. Well, look at your mum and dad when they got married. Oh, yeah. Literally days before the wedding, your nan. Had a stroke day before, wasn't it?

It was literally the day before. I mean, can you imagine? I'm going ahead with it. And they went ahead with it. But what do you do? No, got to go for it. They went ahead with it. Oh, stress, isn't it?

That must have been the most stressful time. For your mum? Mad. No, that must have been. really, it's mad, in it. Mm-hmm. All your wedding photos without your mum in them. And knowing that she just had a stroke.

And I mean, yeah, just absolutely crazy. Wish she was here to tell the story. Yeah. Mad. Imagine how she must have felt. No, it must have been awful. Bless her heart. So again, as we always say,

you can have a, what dinners you're going to have, what you're going to wear, who you're inviting, what arguments are going to have. But if you've got everyone there who you love, that they've got their health and you can have a lovely day. Just got to enjoy it because it's great memories. You can do it in the back. Yeah.

Absolutely. Natalie, you can do it wherever. It's all about the people that are with you. Absolutely. Yeah. No, it's crazy to think. And that's the other thing. You look back on videos and you think, crike, I have my guests aren't even with us anymore.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's lovely that you've got your wedding video though. Yeah. I've got mum and dad's wedding video. Have you?

Yeah. We should stick it on. How do you watch that then? I've got on video. I've got VHS. It got changed over. Oh, onto video. Yeah.

So you should get that out and have a little look at it. Oh, that would be. I have a wedding video night. Oh. Be fun. Fancy a little cry. Gosh. I'm surprised we've had no messages about table plans

because that's always a very challenging. I know. No, we haven't. Because that is now... Who's sitting where? The politics behind that, the rouse that go on, the trying to make it work. Yeah. The people... But I've been at weddings before where I'm sat next to strangers and I've had a great night.

Yeah, but people went as a... Fantastic. It's actually quite nice. Oh, you get people request. Don't sit me with sun and so. Oh, yeah, no, I'd say sorry. I'm not being funny. You can't be requesting. Yeah, I can't do that. Or then you get the surprise guest who thought they'd surprise you on the day. Like a friend of mine, their niece from Italy was never coming and they should just surprise

them on the day. Oh, really? They had to sort of make room for her. And you know what we're like over here? You've got your table, your name plate. You can't really do that. Oh, no. Italians do. They're so late back.

Their weddings are just so, everyone just turns up. The hot families might come in their entirety. Some family's just a father and daughter will turn up. Yeah, yeah. It's very, not so much now. They are becoming more structured like ours, but they are generally way more relaxing. You could let them know the day before.

Oh, yeah, I am coming. Whereas we, you know what we're like. Oh, yeah, no, yeah. We need to know three months before because we could order, you know, going to book the food. Yeah. Yeah, we are, we're very sticklers for a structure.

structure, which I agree with. Yeah. Yeah. Hello, Natalie and Auntie Linney. Good evening. You asked for wedding experience advice. I got married in 2010, or should I say we got married in 2010. We got married in Malta.

I'm half-Mortese. My dad is Maltese. I'm Catholic. And we did look to get married over here. But to be honest, the Catholic churches in my area, just they're very plain and they're just nicer in Malta. So yeah, we did look over here, but the prices are just crazy. So in the end, we let family and friends know that we were thinking about doing it.

It said, if anyone wants to come, let us know. We sent out invites, obviously, once we booked everything. But we more said to people, if you want to be there, then let us know. My husband's got much bigger family than me and quite a few of his family. came out and my family, I had some from here and some that live in Malta, they came. And we did it so much cheaper than what you would have done if you'd have booked it over here. And our little, it was a tiny chapel that we got married in, in the village where my dad is from. And it was absolutely stunning. But I just was so stressed. I stressed my self out so much that I made myself

ill afterwards. I just wanted everything to be perfect. And you know what? I can't even say to you that I remember the day minute for minute. There's a lot that I don't remember about it. I don't know if that was because I was stressed and worried about everything, but I wanted to do everything myself. I wouldn't let anyone do anything. And a couple of days before the wedding, I couldn't even make the night out. I was in bed afterwards. I ended up having cameras down my throat and all sorts. I was unwell for about a year afterwards. And once I'd had an endoscopy, the camera down my throat, I got my diagnosis and that. And I said to the doctor, what could have caused it? Because I don't think there was anything really that could have caused it. I said,

could it have been stress? And I think we just put it down to that, that I literally made myself ill from stressing so much. So if anyone's getting married, please don't stress. The day will be, yes, you can try and make it perfect. But at the end of the day, day, it'll be what it will be. And as long as you've got people there that you love and, you know, you'll make it what it is. And we had an amazing time. But yeah, that's my wedding experience. Well, thank you for that. Yeah, this is really, really putting me off. It's bad, isn't it? So she, this poor girl was ill after the wedding. I was ill before the wedding. It's that stressful. I look forward to it. And if you're a control-free, could

You want to do it all yourself. Natalie, it takes a lot of organising. Yeah. It's not for the faint-hearted. It's hardcore. And then if you're doing it abroad, you could have a language barrier. Lynn. Yeah.

I can't choose a bit new bin. Yeah. Oh, no. I know. If I did it, it would literally have to be over the pub or something. It would just have to be really quiet. And it'd be brilliant. Yeah, it would have to be.

Because I can't even choose a new bedspread or start on a bit of decorating. You know, I just can't, I can't make choices. What is that? Just can't hate it. Just don't like it. Yeah, it's funny, isn't it now? I enjoyed doing the lounge. Yeah.

But I still find it very stressful. No, I get it now because I'm a bit less. It's not enjoyable to me. So imagine putting a wedding together. They're off. I think I could help someone else. Yeah, but that's not, absolutely. I think I'd thoroughly enjoy helping someone else.

Yeah. Help, out organising and helping. I think I could do it. when it's for you. Yeah. So you'd have to get someone else to do yours. Yeah, maybe. Basically, that's what you'd have to do.

Maria's good at it. And then just, yeah, let it all get done. As long as you get a say, you have a saying what you want and then put it together. It's a lot of organising. It's a lot of organised. It's very stressful. And it shouldn't be about that. That shouldn't be what you remember.

And this lady again is absolutely right. The bride and groom have just got to enjoy the day. Yeah, but I've heard so many people say they don't. don't remember their wedding day. That's one thing I said to both the girls, and just take it, or many a bride have just said when I've congratulated them, just take every second in because it'll just go like that.

Yeah. And then you'll wake up the following day and you think, I just can't even remember half the day. And you want, you need to remember. You know, when you think back in our day, we would go, you'd change in the evening, you'd put like this, yeah. I remember rushing to get changed because I didn't want to miss anything.

Yeah. Or the bride and groom would leave her. to go off on their honeymoon and leave everyone partying. I was like, we're not doing that. The old FOMO again. Absolutely. You've just got to take every bit of it in because, yeah, it's been years in the making. So.

Oh, well, for everyone, Brianne especially, but for anyone else, getting married this year, wish you all the success and luck and love. And we haven't even spoke about the weather. If it rains, don't worry about it. I mean, the weather obsession that we all have anyway. But that, is it going to rain? What's the weather like? So imagine leading up to your wedding.

I remember, I always remember Tony saying that it was the best summer ever. It had not rained for about 35 days. His wedding day, it was torrential all day. We all got so drunk. They were having photos indoors. Yeah. And they were just, the bar was open and everyone was, oh my God, we were so drunk. I remember everyone doing the congress.

The great wedding. Yeah, it was a great. Because he got a bit. A little bit too elibrated. Showing everyone his heart bypassed scar, if I remember. Ripping off his shirt. Oh my God, do you remember that very, very well? Oh, my God.

I remember that really well. But even again, going back to Dom and Lisa, they got married in Tuscany. It had, I was speaking to my family members. They went, I kept saying, what's the weather like then? They went, when it, we're having really strange weather this year. It seems to rain. Every afternoon for a few hours, I'm like, rain? And we literally got there.

It was baking, right? Yeah, but Natalie, we got there on the Wednesday. Yeah. It rained. And then the weather just turned. And then the woman that owned the villa where they married. Yes. After the wedding, said, I now can tell you,

the last wedding prior to yours, I was tipping coffee cups over because they were full of water. Oh, my God. And weddings in Italy are predominantly out. Well, it's all outdoor, wasn't it? But there was not even in any cover. No, we had no provisions for rain. So it can happen anywhere.

But ultimately, again, I remember being in, where were we? Oh, Skiaphos. On holiday. Weather was horrific. Andrew, Dave's friend had been going there year in, year out. Never had bad weather. We get there. And on this particular day, there was a wedding there.

the boat taking the bride and groom across to the... Oh no. And when I say rain... Yeah, like a storm. Yeah. And it did not leave on. Did they get in the boat? It was a disaster.

They couldn't do anything. Oh, no. All the ushers, all in the bar. They couldn't even get out to get to the church. It was torrential rain. Oh, well, you've just got to give up and enjoy it. Just be in the bar and have a great time. Yeah, just, yeah, if I get so...

Good God. So you can't over, you just can't overthink it. No, you just got to go for it. Go for it, yeah. But hopefully the sun's going to start shining soon. And all these up-and-coming weddings, because this is, it tends to be this time. It will, we all start warming up soon.

Although love a Christmas wedding. Yeah. I'm never getting married in the summer. Not with my hay fever, honey. True. And then you know what the weather's going to be. Yeah, and you do it all in the doors, nice and cold. Yeah, it's lovely, beautiful Christmas.

My after. Nudge mark on that though Seas like the sand. Oh really? I think you meant nudge him about getting married. No, no. I mean the weather the month but I am not getting married in the summer.

Oh, I have a Christmas waiting. Who loves Christmas more than me? That's what I would do, definitely, definitely. Lynne, thank you, I love that. Oh, nice to have a little nutter, wasn't it? Yeah, always nice. Always lovely. A little nag.

Although someone said that when it, because it's called nagging with Auntie Linney, she thought it would be us moaning at each other someone said. Oh, we can do that. We can do that. But no, nagging where I'm from means talking. So I'm sorry if you think nagging is moaning.

It is if you're talking to your partner and you're nagging them. But, yeah, a bit different. Have a wonderful weekend, everybody. Please follow, subscribe, tell your friends about it. And most importantly, send me your WhatsApp and your voice notes, please, to 077-8-20191919. I told you a bit about it on Monday. Remember, Monday coming up, our Patreon is live.

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I'm not sure I've got enough hours in my day to squeeze all this in. No, it'll be fun. We can have a little bit of fun with it, can't we? What's nice is because it isn't, it doesn't have to be this. No. So if I want to even do, record me and you're having a phone conversation about something that can be popped on. So people are just getting a little bit more of my life.

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The cost of a membership is a fiver, but Apple will charge you an extra £2.50 a month if you join on the app. So sign up on a desktop or a browser before downloading the app to avoid paying more than you need to. Oh, wow. Okay. I hope that makes sense. But I really wanted to let the listeners know that. Oh, absolutely. Because £2.50 a month is a lot more than fiver.

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I bet that's even more. We'll talk about that on some of the bonus episodes because we only spoke about that for the live show. Like the live show is. However, the live show will be live. The Hartford show, our last show. On Monday, you will be able to watch one of a very, our live shows, which I think for a fibre is pretty special actually, and I will say it myself.

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Go into the chapel and we're going to get married. Go to the chapel and win.