Life with Nat - EP248: Living a Purposeful Life with Kate Drummond

Episode Date: July 22, 2026

Meet Kate Drummond. She's an extraordinary human who's lived a life and come back stronger. She's all about teaching people how to live The Purposeful Life and Reinvent themselves. Hear first about her book here - https://www.thepurposefullife.com/the-bookReinvent With Kate on instagram - https://www.instagram.com/reinventwithkateLinktree - https://linktr.ee/reinventwithkateAnd the three books that changed her outlook were -You Can Heal Your Life by Louise HayThe Monk who sold his Ferrari by Robin SharmaThe Alchemist by Paulo CoelhoGet in touch with Nat, buy tickets for upcoming live shows and link to Patreon, all the family's Instagrams, and more: ⁠⁠lifewithnatpod.komi.io⁠⁠ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Nat's on the way in just a moment for a good old catch-up. After this episode, you should get the Teen Commandments lined up to play next. Holiday season is here, and Sarah Cox and Claire Hamilton are chatting holiday bus stops, and that time that Claire set fire to her parents' curtains. If you love a bit of family drama, you'll want to hear this episode. Search for the Teen Commandments and get it lined up to play next. I was so pleased that you said that you pop on and have a chat with me. Yeah, that's great. Thank you, Cathy.

Well, you caught my eye. Sometimes we can be really negative about social media. Yeah. Someone like you pops up and you really caught my eye. I loved your name. I love Reinvent with Kate. No. I started reading some of your staff and I thought,

oh, I'd really like to talk to you. So here you are. Here I am. This is Kate, everybody. And I'd love you to just tell you a story, really, of how you've got where you've got now, because it looks like you've had a bit of a change, change throughout the years.

God, where do we begin? So first of up, I'm Kate Drummond, I'm 52. You look absolutely incredible. I think it's not. Talk to you anyway. No, you really do look amazing, amazing. Yeah. So I'm still figuring it out like most of us, to be honest.

But my story really, regarding to where I've got, now. I started in international banking when I was 16. Didn't go to university, college. I don't think they would have had me, to be honest. I went straight into international banking. It wasn't what I wanted to do. I wanted to be a creative. I wanted to go into graphic design. But at the time, it was YTS. I don't know who you remember. It was a youth training scheme before your time. And I was so excited. I was offered this job in Soho. And I was like, yes, it was like, creating posters for movies. And I was like, oh my God, this is just like the dream job.

And last minute, they decided to put me on YTS, which ended up something like £60 a week. And I was like, not going to be able to do it. So I ended up in banking after 52 letters. It was either that or go back to six-form. Yes. That was not on the agenda. No, I did not want to do that.

And so, yes, I meant most of my career in corporate. But then early on, when I was 23, I was diagnosed with MA chronic fatigue syndrome. At the time, early 90s, everyone was throwing about that it was yuppie flu. You know, it was sort of just made up. So that was pretty tough. I couldn't move for about a year. I was just, I'd have to crawl everywhere. And if I'd crawled for five minutes, I was on the floor asleep.

So that started, that re-ignited my sort of spiritual side because I've been brought up like that. You know, believe in the angels, have crystals in your bra and, you know, a bit of Palo Santo and everything. Oh, you've been brought up like that, had you? Yeah, my, yeah, my mum. Oh, my God, yeah. So I was always surrounded by that. You always have to have your crystals with you. And, you know, you always, mum still, she lives with us now and she always still stays.

Take on with you. You know, whatever I'm doing. I love that. I love that. I know. My mum was the absolute polar opposite. You know, she, I never, ever heard, I said, I never heard anyone in my family mention, mentioned crystals or the moon or absolutely not. There was a lot of, what a load of old rubbish that is, you know.

That's so, so interesting. It's fun, isn't it? So, yeah, so you got back into that then when you became ill. Yeah, because I'll become so ill and I read three books. was you can heal your life by Louise Hay, which I threw across the room many times because it just hit nerves and it's so relevant today as it was like nearly 30 years ago. Right, okay. It's really, really powerful, especially when you're experiencing change.

The monk who sold his Ferrari by Robin Sharma and the Alchemist by Palo Coelho. And those three books just sort of got me there and went, right, you've got to take control here. You can't let this keep you down. So I studied as a personal trainer. I did lifestyle management, nutrition, and I did that for a while and then ended up back in the corporate world. I forgot everything that I'd learned about how to look after myself like you do. So in mid-late 20s, ended back up in banking, and then we were. went into...

Can I ask you, Kate, sorry, whilst we're going through the story, you said that you, you sort of went into the corporate world, the banking world at 16. So in those years, before you got poorly, did you enjoy it?

Did you enjoy that job? You did? You loved it. You loved it. It was the early 90s. He was in the city. Yeah, I can imagine. Burnt the candle at both ends.

You know, you played as hard as you worked. Mm-hmm. And you was rewarded for it then. You know, there was, if you did overtime, you got paid for it. He was doubling your salary every month. So it was, it was, I just loved every second about it. I love the people. I love the fast pace of it.

Yeah. It was just, yeah, it was exciting. And when your pace slowed down, because not out of choice, but, you know, out of necessity because you were ill, did people look after you? Did you hear from people? were people around you? Yeah, yeah, I did.

Do you know what? In my early 20s, I still had that really good group of friends. At the time, when I became really ill, I lived with a boyfriend at the time. We lived in Stanmore, and we had this really small one-bedroom flat, and he was brilliant.

He was brilliant. Bless him, John, can you imagine being in your 20s having this relationship? And then you've got your girlfriend who's just falling apart at the same. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, he was absolutely brilliant. My friends were amazing.

family was incredible. Yeah. So I had an amazing support network. So I was really, really lucky. And I think that's sort of helped me get back on track. And like saying, these three particular books just sort of switch something for that moment in time. It's funny how it's so special, isn't it, that reading, you can read certain things and it can actually rewire your brain.

You know, so you can have those moments of awakening that you think that's going to change, change you forever. I find that very difficult with the children at the moment. They don't really readers. You know, Joni loves a book. She loves me reading to her, but they're not, I want them to, you know, really be passionate about books. But they will. You find something. It does happen.

You can't force it on it by the moment. My youngest, she was a great reader as a top. It doesn't touch a book now. It's 21. I couldn't even tell you the last time she remembers reading. No. got certain books that she'd go back to. And I think they all find it in their own time, don't they?

It's just, you know, we can't force it. And also, I don't want to sit and read a book I don't like. Do you know what I mean? I'll pick a book up and if I'm not into it, I don't finish it. So I think, yeah, sorry. So I think that's, no, that's all right. But that's interesting what you said there, because I'm a great believer in that as well that sometimes we're meant to only read maybe a paragraph, a page or a chapter of a book in

this moment in time. And then we might pick it up 10 years later and go, that's why I need to read this now. Yeah, so true. So true. So that happened. You went back. You forgot about everything you learned.

Yeah. Went back to drinking. Went back to smoking. Yeah. Went back to working hard, playing hard. Yeah. Yeah. And so my body was like, you can't keep on doing this.

But I still felt at that time that I had it under control. So I went into personal training, went back into the corporate world. And then I had my daughter. I was in a really toxic relationship. And everyone around me, like all my friends, all my support network were like, what are you doing? You're not this person. Like I've always been quite a strong person.

I'd walk away at silly things. And for whatever the reason was, I stayed. And my reason, I believe, is because I have my daughter. And then I left when she was four months old. Four months? Yeah, again, it's a life lesson, isn't it? That on its own was just shifted everything. Yeah, I mean, I've been there, done that one.

Yeah, it's tough. It's really, really tough. Tough, tough to leave. Tough to leave. Tough to leave. And, you know, you stay for so long and just, you know, everyone else is telling you. but you've got to figure it out for yourself

and that's sort of being the thread thereafter it's you know we can we can share our wisdom with other people but if you're not ready it's not going to happen. And that's with everything isn't it? Yeah, everything. Absolutely. Giving up smoking, giving up drinking,

all those things, you know, relationships like you was just saying about the kids picking up a book if they're not going to do it, they're not going to do it. No, it's true. You can't tell people what to do. You can't prove it. You've just got to let them learn their lessons, find their way.

Yeah, yeah. So after that, I think Neil was about four. Yeah. And my brother had been working in Burman's E for, well, since he was 17. And one of the guys he worked with, they were really, really close friends, but I'd never actually met him. And he'd been going through a divorce. and my brother moved to Australia and I'd take all his stuff back and we sort of connected.

So a year or so later we merged families, which again, another huge life lesson. That's not always as easy as that sounds. I started studying psychology, but the kids were still young and that at the time. And that was, so I got sort of the way through that. And then I went into perimenopause. At 38. Wow. And that changed everything.

Absolutely everything. Good grief. And how did you, because back then, so we're going back, what, about 12 years? 14 years. 14 years. I don't feel like 14 years ago, perimenopause was spoken about a lot at all. I didn't even know it existed. So you didn't know what you were in.

Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So at first, it is literally, it's my bathroom floor moment. I went to bed, absolutely normal. You know, life was normal. The kids were up, down, and, you know, being kids.

Yeah. Went to bed quite happy. Woke up the next morning. Went to a toilet, wash my hands, looked in the mirror. And do you know when people say, oh, I looked in the mirror and I didn't recognize myself? It's sort of the thing we sat, right? It was like I was looking at you and I'd never met you before. Wow.

I didn't look the same. I didn't feel the same. I couldn't. There was just no connection. And at first, I started panicking because at first I thought I was having a stroke. I thought something was sort of misfiring in my brain. And I could feel myself.

And I'm not an anxious person per se. No. I could feel myself really panicking. Like my heart was baiting. And I was like, what's happening? I was touching. in the mirror and I'm like, this isn't me. It not one part of me looked like me.

It didn't feel like me. It just looked like someone else was there. Good brief. And it was awful. And I literally sat on the floor and I cried for about an hour. Not a nice, elegant cry. I was like snobbing. Yes, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And my husband coming to me, went, what's happened? I went, I don't know. I don't know. And I think that's the, that's one of the hardest things with perimenopause that I've heard from many women over the years, is that how can you explain something to someone else that you have no idea on how to understand yourself? Yeah, I think, I think you're right.

I think it's so complicated and complex that, and everybody's so different in how that happens, that you just have to try and navigate that for yourself, I think. I mean, I have moments. I'm 43 now, and, you know, I do. I talk about, at the moment, we're all hot, don't get me wrong. But I do, I feel sometimes very, my arm's sweat, my legs sweat, and I think, well, that's a bit strange. But even now, I can talk about it, but I don't really know if I'm in it or not,

because I don't really know what it is. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I don't know. I don't, I don't, I could be, because I could be, but I'm not sure. and that's why we have to keep continue to talk to each other, keep talking. Oh, absolutely, because I think

it's, the symptoms are the easiest thing to explain to other people, aren't that, you know, like your hot flushes, your brain fog, you walk into places and you forget. And although that gets better, you still have moments. I did a talk the other night, and I opened my notes on the

side and I had to literally pick them up halfway through because my brain just went dead. Yes. And that's, you know, that's where you're at first, your confidence is really knocked because you're just like, oh my God, I was someone who could remember numbers and, you know, names and faces and all this and suddenly you're like, but nobody explains that internal feeling. Like the symptoms, 50, however many of them are, are easy,

but that feeling that I had that day, and for a long time afterwards, complete feeling of lost. Yes. Like, you don't know who you are. Right. You're sort of becoming this completely different person. Yeah. And you're trying to tell your friends and family what's going on,

but you're still navigating it. You're in it at that moment. And it's this, that's the thing I think we need to talk about more. Is that where your Instagrams came from? Yeah. Is that when you started doing what you're doing now? Yeah, because I couldn't find anything. around the perimenopause.

No. About that support. And then when I did, a little old lady, it was all very negative. Yes. It was all about, you know, my husband doesn't understand me. Leave him. It was all responsive. It was all.

Blaming. Yeah. Blame culture. And I'd never been brought up like that. I'd always been brought up. Life's going to throw your curveballs all the time, right? Yeah. We've got choice.

We can either sit and wall up and suffer or we can find a way out of it. And that's what I wanted to do. So it was built on the, I wanted to give hope. I wanted, Oprah said it and I loved it. Every person on the planet wants to be seen, to be loved, to be heard. That's true. And I think that was where it all started. It's just sharing what I was going through, sharing, you know, the ups and downs.

But also, let's look at the future. Let's look at the way out. You've got a book coming out. I have. Eight-minute method. That's amazing. Yeah. When did that happen?

Did someone come to you? Or are you doing it on your own? I'm doing it on my own. You are? Yeah. Yeah, I'm doing it on my own. It came through this. It came through the bathroom floor moment

and through the beginning of menopause. Yeah. Or in the midst of peri menopause, when you feel, that you have to do something to expand, yeah. And everyone's saying, right, well, you have to go to the gym, you have to do this, you have to do this. And I was like, oh, this is overwhelming.

Yes. And for me, at the time, doing an hour of anything with family and that, I was just like, this is not happening. But to do five minutes of it wasn't worth it. And I started with doing eight minutes of things. Now, sitting down and just journaling. I've always been a journalist. Sitting down, just give myself eight minutes.

Walk around the garden for eight minutes. No phone, no nothing, no noise. Just eight minutes. Exercise for eight minutes. Yeah, because you're right, you're right. Five minutes is very quick, isn't it? Yeah. But sometimes you haven't got ten minutes.

Yeah. I really like that. It's so true. I really like that. It's so true. It's not until you say it that you think, that you know, that is really, really true, you know, we struggle for 10, but 8 is that sweet spot.

Yeah. So I started doing the research on it, and it is that Goldilocks zone, you know, that sweet spot of change where 5 is not enough, 10 is too much, 8 is just right. Just right, yeah. Because if you're then enjoying it, you might carry on for 15.

you might carry on for 20. But if you're not, you're not beating yourself up. No, you've done it. You've done it. You've done it, yeah. And to make a bed, a double bed or a king bed, whatever you've got, perfectly. Does it take eight minutes? It takes eight minutes.

And that was one of the reasons because I felt that making a bed was quite meditative, not a meditation, but meditative in the way that. I could just focus on it. I was just not overthinking. When you're saying make the bed, are you meaning you stripped the bed and you're putting the duvets back on the sheet back on everything? Yeah.

Making the bed like that. Yeah. Eight minutes. I think I agree with you about bed making. Yeah. Straighten it all out. There's something quite methodical about it, something quite calming about.

And then when you see it at the end of the day, the bed's made. It's a win, isn't it? It's a win in the morning, and if you're achieving nothing else. It was, what's his name? I think it was a general. He did a Texas commencement speech, University of Texas commencement speech. I think it was in 2014, and it was on about make your bed.

They say, don't they? If you don't make your bed in the morning, well, it's just not a good thing, is it? No. You've got, I think, a 75% more chance of becoming a millionaire, if you make your bed every morning. Because it's success. It's a mindset, isn't it? Yeah.

Something done. Yeah. As soon as you get it, it's done. And when you walk back into that room, it's no chaos. It's nicely done. Yeah. And it's a really great, it's a really great speech to listen to. I think you can get it on YouTube.

It's 19 minutes long. And you come away and you're like, I make my bed every day like this. It's like, yes, done success. So that was where that came from. And then through the research, obviously because I like magical things, you know, and there wasn't the, it is the magic number, but there was so much about in the neuroscience and the psychology of the number eight through time, religion, cultures, you know, the infinity sign.

Oh, I was going to say infinity. I was just about to say that. It's the never-ending number, isn't it? Yeah, so as I sort of dived into the research of this, I started. I was like, this is, this is powerful. Group circles for women. When you have eight women in a circle to either do coaching or healing or just sitting around to offload and have a chat, it is powerful.

Again, it's that sweet spot. There's just enough energy. It's not overwhelmed. There is that perfect amount, you know, and it's, yeah. So the power of eight is the moving. Sounds very, very special. Very, very nice. Yeah, I'm excited.

Your book's out October. October. Can people pre-order the book? Not as yet. No, okay, fine. They can start, they can join the launch list. Yes, okay. And, which is on the website, and they get the first chapter.

Oh, that's lovely. Well, we'll put all of the, pop all the links underneath this pod. You know, of course we will, of course we will. Yeah, I just find anyone that you meet who's been through stuff and a lot of stuff like yourself out of that has spawned good. Like you see, I feel like I've done the same in a way and I don't really pat myself on the back enough, I don't think. I'd just go, oh no, you know, I'm just doing this and just doing this now.

No, but I'm just doing it. I sort of go, oh, no, yeah, well, I'm doing that. But if someone actually sits down and they say, no, Natalie, you've been on telly all your life. There's been a lot of ups and downs. You've had lots of struggles with your weight. You was in a really toxic relationship that you got out of. You know, actually, like you say, you could sink quite easily. And recoil and not do a lot.

remain quiet and just go, well, this is not all for me anymore. And I could have gone very, very quiet. But actually, I didn't. I swam, been brave, made changes, left work, like yourself. Very, very financially stable job. But it's boring. A bit boring. You need to change.

It's good. Yeah. And I think we are, especially the last few weeks, the amount of women I've spoken to, young and old, and I put it on my Instagram yesterday, that I've been talking about pivoting. Right? Something doesn't feel right in their career, you know, and it's major, not earth shattering,

but just something's not. Yes, but there's just something there. Yeah, not bringing that joy anymore. And suddenly, like, everywhere, it's got me something going on with the moon and that, because everyone I'm talking to is like, do you know what, I'm ready for a change? Do you know what it is?

To sort of change it up a bit. And that's good. And, you know, if you listen to that, like yourself, you then plan it forward by being brave enough to make that change and following what feels right. If I would have seen myself now when I first left work, I thought to myself, well, I'm going to have to do anything that comes in, I'm going to have to do because I don't know what I'm doing, you know, and financially I need to do everything. and I can't believe now that I'm in a place where I look at things and I think, right, how much time is that going to take? Do I want to do that? Is it going to bring me joy?

And I say no to things. I'll say no, thank you very much, but no, don't want to do that. And that is the most powerful thing for me. Saying no. Being able to say, no, I don't want to do that. And that's okay. And I know, and I feel. confident that something else will come along.

And that's the thing, isn't it? That's that belief. Yeah. It's believing in yourself, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And setting those boundaries, you know, and we say this a lot. We get told by society, or you have to say no more, but we do.

But we also have to remember to say yes to the things that bring us joy. Yes. You know, and it's finding that balance, isn't it? And to have those boundaries where you say, no, that's not right for me. That doesn't feel good. Well, I think also as we get older, I also think that's, again, it's a thread that goes through all of your life. Yeah. So when someone says to me, oh, we're going here tonight or this is what we want to do, are you coming?

I would never have said no in my 20s. I would have gone, yeah, no, I was like, yeah, I'm going to everything or you don't want to miss out and it's VOMO and it's this. Yeah. It doesn't matter if you're tired. But I, you know, very often, I just say, no, I don't want to. I don't want to do that. Thank you very much, but I don't want to do that. And there's no reason.

It's not an excuse. I don't have to lie and pretend I'm ill. I know. Do you know what I mean? I just say, no, I don't want to do that. And that's fine. Yeah. And do you know what?

I think that's one of the greatest gifts of perimenopause. That are only that get even better, Matt, because I think through that the filter comes off. Yeah. Because where our hormones, postmenopause, our hormones balance out. Yeah. As women, we've never had that balance. We've never had that because from birth, our hormones are doing that.

There's none of these layers there anymore. It's just life-changing, isn't it? You just feel very, you can't. Although God knows what my filter would do, because I feel very filtered already. Unfiltered. Just feel very. Yeah, yeah. And isn't that great?

But you speak to so many women and they're still worrying about the perceptions or the thoughts and wants and needs of everyone else. Yeah. That you sort of forget yourself and it's, that's tough. It is. And I still struggle with wanting to do things that I know will make me happy like today sitting and watching tennis because it's too hot for me outside.

Yeah. And I've got loads of things I could be doing. Loads and loads of housework. loads of just loads of things but I don't care today I want to sit down I want to watch the tennis I don't want to get hot

and I know that I've got a very busy weekend and next week and what have you so I'm going to do that without feeling guilty and I think that's a big struggle because the guilt I'm telling you by 1 o'clock that will creep in and I think oh should not be sitting down here and that's hard

That is, I think, very, very hard to not do and not feel selfish. So what would you say to people that feel guilty that they're being selfish doing something like that, doing whatever they want to do? Yeah, and it is a tough one. But I think it's like anything we do, it's a work in progress, right? It's a practice. So, for example, if today you felt really, really guilty and it was overwhelming, you know, and you felt I need to go and do something else. Yes.

That's okay too for that moment because you're aware of it. You're not doing it on autopilot, okay? Yes. And then, yeah? So because what you don't want to be doing is sitting there and forcing yourself into a position where you're then creating your cortisol to rise. You're getting stress.

That's right. You're overthinking. So then you're not enjoying the tennis anyway. Then you're getting hot and bothered without even being outside. So just to give yourself permission to go, do you know what, I'm overthinking all this and that's fine too. I'm just going to go and fold that laundry up. Yeah, I'll put that wash in a way.

Yeah. Then I'm going to come and sit back, right? So you've sort of gone, yeah, I've told myself I'm not going to do it, but I'm just going to do that little thing because that's going to make me feel better. Yes, yes. And then once we start giving ourselves permission to do these things, then the guilt lesson because next time you sit down, you're not forcing yourself into that situation.

You might think, I need to fold that washing. And you go, well, actually, that can wait to answer the tennis. Yeah, yeah. It's not going to go in, it's not going to grow legs and go and put itself away.

I'm actually not, no. I've tried sprinkling a bit of fairy dust over it every now. It doesn't work, Matt. It does not work at all. so it's not going anywhere. Yeah, and I think the key is to tune in. And if you're feeling that stress, don't force it, just going to do a little thing and then come back.

Yeah. And then it's like an elastic band. You just get stronger each time, you know, and it's building that momentum, building that habit. And again, like you said with boundaries, it's speaking to others, you know. You know, you might say to your husband, partner, why do you think I feel guilty if I sit down and do nothing? Yeah.

Yeah. Who's going to tell you off for doing it? Yeah, no one. You're absolutely right. You know? No one cares today. No one gives a shit what I'm doing all day. No one's business. No, but it's no one's business, is it? What I'm doing today. No. So I think it's the stories we tell ourselves and it's so it's that first and foremost it's being that kindness to your You know, it's okay if you want to get up and put it away, but then come back and carry on doing what you're doing. Yeah, yeah. And be gentle.

We could all be a bit more gentle with ourselves, couldn't we? I think we do beat ourselves up a lot. And I think that's really interesting, you saying, that what you just said was, you know, believing your own thoughts, believing, telling yourself something, well, some and so I think I'm terrible today, but you've made up that fact. Yeah. And then you're believing it. You know what I mean?

Whereas actually no one said a word. That's very, very powerful that. Yeah. And if you truly believe that someone else is going to think, man, that's where you question them. Yeah. Because then that dissipate. Mm. You know, if I went to my husband, you know, I had a really, really, really busy wake.

I'm going to sit down, watch tennis. It's good for you. Yeah. And in my head, I'd be suddenly thinking, oh, I was a good guy. expecting him to say, God, that's a bit lazy. Can't you be doing it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, the opposite was true. Misconceptions of people, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, and we all do that. Yeah, we all do. We all have opinions of people, how they're going to react or Yeah. Which aren't right. That's a very important thing as well, because when we work on ourselves with that,

when we stop having opinions of others, or expectations. I say this to my mum all the time. My mum expects all the grandkids to phone her three times a day. Check in, come around and see her four times a week. And I'm like, Mum, they're busy. They've got lives. Yes.

You know, you've got this expectation of what you want them to do. But yes, you're 83. You're not out of work. You're not running around everywhere. You've got more time on your hand. So you're able to think of this. If we don't have the expectations of others, life becomes simpler. It's so true.

No, I was thinking, do you know, I remember when my dad lived with me here, God bless him, and he was the same, 82, 83, he lived, you know, in my house. Yes, it's the other side of the house, but in my house. And there would be sometimes maybe a day, a day and a half, where I didn't see him. Because I'm so busy, I was in and out with the children, do, do. And he'd really have a go at me. They said, oh, here she comes. Where have you been then?

Oh, I'm not seeing you for two days. And it's that thing. You go, Dad, I'm really busy. I'm really sorry. Look, you're living here. You're fine, you know. But I'm super busy. And it is, I think, elderly people.

They don't have a lot to think about, do they? So they really obsess over certain little things. And it means a lot to them, I think. And that's hard. That's why I think I really know. notice with my dad. He didn't really have a lot of hobbies. He didn't have a lot of passions. You know, once he... Yeah, same with my mum.

I think his passion was his wife, my mum. Yeah. But, you know, he likes a bit of sport on the telly or what have you. But I think it's really important. I always think about that. I think it's always important to have things, be it a puzzle or gemstones or, you know, all those things that we talk about, painting by numbers or crafting or whatever those things are. I think it's so important to keep those little things up. Yeah, I agree. Because it could be quite, again, very long days, long, lonely days as you get older,

if you haven't got those things around you. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Mum's exactly the same. She lives with us and days that I'm really, really busy, I'll go into the kitchen and she'll go, have I upset you? I'm like, no, why? She's like, well, you've not really spoken to me today.

I'm like, mum, I've just been really busy today. Yeah, yeah. Again, the same. You're here. You're saying. I'm not going anywhere. That's lovely as well. That's another thing we've got in common.

When did you move mum in then? When did you decide that was the right thing to do? So, mum and dad lived up in Wellington and Kemp and we'd see him regularly. This was October 23. Yeah. Mum had been a bit poorly. and dad, seven years old with mum, he was running around like a blue-ass fly after, looking after, and we said, come down to us for a week, just, you know, give Dad a break

and I could look after Mum. So they both come down. We did all their appointments and everything. The day they was going back, my dad had a seizure. Right. He was fine, right? And he had this seizure. He called the ambulance.

They got him into hospital and they did. discovered he had lung cancer, pneumonia, emphysema and multiple brain mets. But what was interesting, my dad never felt pain his whole life. He was very old score as well and he didn't really feel pain. But he was fine, like to look at it. He was walking about and the doctors kept looking at his notes going, this is crazy. And they sent him home a week later.

and they said he had about six weeks to live, which he did. And mum stayed. We said we can't. She can't go home. No. So she stayed. And yeah, so she's here. So she's here.

But you're right, though, it is that my dad was her greatest passion. Yes, yes. And it's tough. Well, they together for a long time. Yes, six, they, mum was no. 19 when she met. So dad was 26. Yeah.

Mad. And yeah, and they dug past away. Mm. What the wrong would they have been married? 59 years. Wow. Yeah. Good grief.

Yeah. So it's tough. It's a lot, isn't it? It is tough. When you're a pair. Proper pair. Oh. Half hearts, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. And it's, again, that's another life lesson. it's curve balls, you know, we empty nested for a whole 10 days. And then that happens. So it's just learning to roll with the punches all the time. You know, so many of my clients have said, you know, I've got this perfect life that I've got planned out. And this is how I want it to run.

And I'm like, it's never going to happen like that. You can't control it, can you? You can't control everything that happens in your life. You just can't do that? And do you know where I rely it back? You know where, when you go through perimenopause and that, we talk a lot about strength training. You're preparing yourself doing functional work for those everyday things. But if you fall on the floor, you're able to get back up, so on and so forth.

And I think that works for life. Right. There's no perfection. There's no, there's always times when everything's running smoothly and you feel like we've got all your shit together, then suddenly, bang. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you're like, unbelievable. How did this happen?

Yeah. But if you're building that resilience all the time and you're working on yourself and you're doing good things, like you're doing, you know, you're sending out that positive to the world, you're doing things, you're helping people and all that. It's just, just building you all the time. So when those knocks do come, when those curveballs do come, you feel more prepared. Yes. Yeah?

Yes. to cope better. Yeah, I think so. I mean, I do pretty well. But when Joni broke her arm the other week, that was it for me. It was terrible. Honestly, I just thought,

I can't, I can't do this anymore. I can't believe it. Exactly what you said. How on earth are we here again? Yeah. But yeah, you're right. She's good. She's really, really good.

In fact, whilst we've been on the phone, the school's phoned me twice. She's downstairs, so I know she hasn't broken the bone. We get thrown these little situations, don't we? Little tests, as I like to call them.

Absolutely. And you have to learn to deal with them and get on with them. Tell us about the job you do now. So it's had loads of reiterations over the last 10 years. Yeah. But ultimately, I coach women from universe age onwards. And what that means would be different for everyone. Right.

So depending on what they come to and thought, basically I guide them to believe in themselves again and get shit done in a nutshell. Sounds good to me. You know, some people come for career coaching, they're changing jobs, careers, the amount of young girls coming out of university who have studied for three, four years and suddenly they're like, well, I'm not who I was at 18. Yes. You know, what do I do now?

Some is just general whole life because we can't put ourselves into pockets. You know, even when we split up and do a bit of career coaching, a bit of health coaching, it all is one because it's holistic is everything comes together yeah everything links up yeah because you're not split into you know you're not even though we wear multiple caps you know parent worker whatever it is yes we're still only one person so it's about the main journey is remembering who you are sort of underneath all the noise you know that wants the needs, the opinions of others like we've been speaking about, and really reconnecting back with you, learning your boundaries, learning what it is that you love. Like I started saying

at the beginning about the amount of women the last few weeks that have been wanting to pivot, you know, and something's not right. I need to do something else. So can do it. And do a side hustle. Even if it's 10 minutes a week, you know, don't ignore it. There's something there. So, yeah, I always find it a little bit hard to pigeonhole because it's so individual. It really does depend on the woman who's, you know, who I'm walking alongside really. What's your sort of proudest moments? What when you, is it kind of like, you know, having a bird in the garden that can't fly? Yeah.

And then you sort of let that bird go and you're, you know, back to good health, should we say. Is that how it feels when you're coaching people? Is that sort of... Yeah, absolutely. When you've got the women who are coming in and really want to do the work. And I always say I split the women that come to me into two camps, the women that think they need a life coach because, oh, it would be fun to have one. Yes.

Yeah. And it can be, absolutely. But it's like... sit in an exam and not answering a question. You're not going to get a result. And then you get the women who are like really in the depths of change and who are really at that point of, I know what I need to do,

but I don't know how to get there. They're the proudest moment, because they're really putting in the work. And when I say work, it sounds awful. It's not like I said like loads of homework. But it's really sort of stepping up. to change. I did, as an example, I did a talk the other night in Canterbury.

And it was based on perimenophores, but obviously my spin on the positive. And we was talking on a few things and the questions were going about. And I said about not drinking. So I gave up drinking nine years ago. I couldn't go on HRC. So giving up drinking for me was a game changer. Now, as soon as I said that, the whole audience, who's only a small, I think it's 20 or people,

I went, never going to do that. So it's... But then you can't... I love drinking. I love drinking, so it didn't like me in the end. No, but I enjoy it, or whatever. But I would never say, in my brain, I never ever think, oh, no, couldn't do it.

Because you don't know, you don't know your future. You don't know what's going to happen. And that's the mindset that works in coaching. It's just being open. Yeah, you've got to be. It's the same as people say, are you going to run another marathon? I don't go, oh, no, no.

Again, I've got better at that. I can't make a decision and know what the future hold. No, never going to do that again. It's very, you know, it's shallow, you're blocking things off. So I always just say, never say never. Don't know. Yeah, absolutely. Just don't know, do you?

You don't. You don't. And that is it. And I think that's what works at coaching. So yeah, there's been many, many, many moments where people have started businesses and never thought of it. I had one particular client who tried retiring for about five years. And every time she wanted to retire, they persuaded her to stay. And was working on this because this is about confidence, about self-belief, about courage, and releasing things that are no longer serving us, which is something that holds us back. along and when she finally did it it was like your example of seeing a bird's will fly the liberation

you could feel the excitement for a life that was yet to be lived you know because for so long you're in especially when you're in a corporate environment it's it's so mundane oh honestly it's so interesting to hear that honestly kate when i think back of each year getting my contract and signing for another year and signing for another year and just being really scared and not having the self-worth, not believing that you can do anything else. Or just thinking, well, I'm so known as doing that. You know, I may as well just stay here.

It's just easy. But actually, that feeling of nervousness, but excitement and how freeing it is to leave that corporate work. world because again it's BBC, it was an institution and it's been there a very, very long time, you know, and that building and those people and everything, it is what it is. And I love it with all my heart, it is what it is. But to step away from that and go, actually, I can, I can do other things here. And really, and also interesting things, things, campaigns or things that I'm passionate about. Yeah, you know, the phone ban. I'm really passionate about

that because of my children and being able to talk to people, like-minded people about different things and actually being told over the years by certain people that, oh, well, you know, if you're leaving, you're not really going to do much else. You're not, you know, it's, it's, yeah, and I feel very proud, very, very proud that. Yeah, so you should. Because it's, it's a really hard thing to do. And, you know, when we've done it, it feels, it doesn't feel easy, but you sort of sometimes get in mind, well, why doesn't everyone do this?

But that kind of stuck, that feeling of when you remember that repetitively signing the contracts because of that fear, that uncertainty, you know, so many women feel that, not just in jobs, but in relationships, you know, I can't leave now because, you know. Oh, it's that age. Who's going to want me? Yeah. Who else is going to want me now? May as well stay here.

Oh. You know, I say, if it's not a 10 out of 10 on the Joal meter, it's a no-go. And friendships as well. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. I can be a terrible friend in terms of getting older me or not getting, back to people, where my time is, you know, just split and busy and whatever.

And yeah, absolutely now, I've got to count my friends on my hands. Yeah. And what blessing. Oh, yeah. It's so lovely. There's nothing false about it. It's just nice, isn't it? And that goes back to your, you know, the non-filter and stuff like that.

Having friends that you don't have to be anyone else for, they know you. And they love you anyway. And do you know what? They're going to call out your shit. and they're going to say how it is and you accept it because you know it's being given with love. Yes. I would take a handful of those over ones that I've got to work hard for any day of the week. Or the ones that blow smoke up your ass.

Yeah. And they aren't being truthful. Yeah, that's just as bad. Yeah, because it's, you know, and again, and I truly believe this comes in line with this stage of love. life where we balance out that your energies become and your intuition becomes a lot sharper. So you know you can walk into a room and everyone can have their backs to you and you still get that feeling. You're like, whoa, someone's had an argument. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because still the energy, can't you? Yeah. Yeah. And I truly believe as we get older, that becomes more precise. So like you say, when you've got someone blow a smoke up your ass and it's all a bit, you're just like, this is just, this is just wasting time. You're drawing my energy and you're wasting time. You don't need to be doing it. I don't need to be receiving it. Time's too precious, I think. Times too precious to have anyone around that just isn't my person.

I haven't got, I haven't got time for it. You know, that's, that's the, that's the bottom line. Time is so precious. We're all working hard. We've all, you know, whether we're parenting or looking after parents or, pets or whatever we're, you know, just time is so precious that when you do have that spare time, if you like, for that, you know, that cup of tea, that walk, that glass of wine to watch that movie, you want to do it with people that are special.

Yeah. And that's okay. Yeah. Agree. Okay, honestly, I can't thank you enough for coming to have a chat. It's been a pleasure. I know, I just really, yeah, I thought, oh, you're so interesting. And you just go, yeah, we could be friends.

You look at it. That's really, really impressed me. And I think your story's amazing. And I can't wait to read the book. We'll put the link down, as I say. And for anyone else out there who's enjoyed this chat today, at ReInvent with Kate, follow Kate on Instagram. And it's some great stuff on there.

Really, really lovely. Thank you, Nat. It's an absolutely pleasure. It's been lovely chatting. It's been really great. Perhaps we can get together again. and maybe go into things a little bit more. Now I've got my Patreon.

You know, we can do sort of 10... We could do eight minutes. We could? We could do some eight minutes on different things, and I think that would be lovely for women and really helpful. So that would be great if you're up for it. Yeah, definitely. 077-8-20, 1919.

Let us know what you thought of this, everybody. It's just nice to have these kind of thought-provoking conversations. I finally enjoyed it, and I hope you have. have two. I'm sorry if I sound like a sweaty, gargly, gurgly mess, but as you know, summer's not sitting well with me. Kate, thank you so, so much. Thank you ladies. And I will be back next time. Thanks all. And I see you soon. Cheers.