Life with Nat - EP261: Scraping the Barrel #51 - the things they get up to in the bedroom...

Episode Date: September 6, 2026

Natalie and Marc are back to the studio talking through the changes they've made in the bedroom. And how are Heath Robinson and shove ha'penny involved?Get in touch with Nat, buy tickets for upcoming live shows and link to Patreon, all the family's Instagrams, and more: ⁠⁠⁠lifewithnatpod.komi.io⁠⁠⁠ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, hello, Nat and Mark. Queen Camilla here. I just had to message because I'm just listening about the arcades, and I've got to fill you in on how well we do. Every summer when we go to Somerset for a week, and we get pretty focused in the arcade on winning tokens, and this year was mind-blowing. I'd like to say, I don't waste too much money in the arcade,

but I do, but I start saving, from when I get home from one holiday, I start saving all my coins, till the next one. And then just before we go, I split all the money in two, three for the kids and some pounds for us. So it's like Girl Math,

it's free money. But with our tokens, we have kit out our tent beyond your wildest dreams. We've got a kettle, a toaster, we've got like mood lighting, you know,

all the other crap that comes with arcade winnings. But this year, we got a Hoover. Hoover just for the tent. We've got so much stuff now. I didn't know what to get. So as we left this year, I picked out an electric barbecue grill for next year. We tested out the weekend inside, you know, don't have upset Mr Burnham. And it was amazing. And I came home with my own mini grabber, which I'm absolutely terrible at, but I am obsessed with them when I'm away as well. Always want to win the cuddly toy that I don't need. I think that hours of fun. That was lovely Camilla, who I shall be seeing on the 3rd of October at the branch. And that was the Life of Night Podcast for tonight. So thanks for that long voice note.

That is impressive. There's a long voice note. You are collecting some tickets to get all that. Yeah, I mean, that's a significant investment there. I think there's a lot of money saved throughout the year for that. Mm. But brilliant. But at least she feels like she's getting something for it.

Yeah. And also it is kind of a hobby because they're kitting out their tent. It's very good that. That feels like about 10 years ago we were at the arcades. In Rye? It just seems ages and ages ago. I was reminiscing about that earlier today at work. We were talking about it.

It was lovely. What a lovely, you cannot beat like a couple of days down there. Right, bit of Hastings, brilliant. I know, I bet there are places, other places, though, we could do that trip, obviously, in the UK and still enjoy it with an arcade, a bit of Brighton, that sort of thing. Yeah. But yeah, get stuck in our ways, don't we?

Oh, love it, love Ray. Talking of places to go, got a message here from Emily, from Dorset. She's right near Moores Valley. But when I read this, I really want to go here, Emily, so thank you. Have you heard of this place? Hi Nat, just a quick message, first time messaging, but have listened from day one. Just listen to your podcast with the nieces saying about places to go with the kids. We went to the North Pennines visiting family last week, and we went to a museum called the Beamish Museum.

It was absolutely incredible. I think Joni would especially love it, as did my boys. Basically, it's a big living museum with lots of different towns set in the olden days, ranging from the 1820s to the 1950s. And you can get dropped off around by trams or old-style buses. They're all dressed up in character. You can get your hair done in the 1950s hairdressers. Go to the old sweet shop, fish and chips, go to the old style theatre. There's a steam train also for Mark.

Honestly, incredible. I know it's very far out for you, but you've got to go sometime. time. Also, it's a ticket where you pay and it lasts for a year. Anyway, absolutely love the pod, have listened from day one and always look forward to a Monday and a Thursday while I do my cleaning jobs. I have to go to this place. Have you never heard of it? No. Have you? Have you? Yes, I have. That is so up my street. I'd really like to do that. Okay. Why is that funny? That just, it just tickles me. It's funny. Do you not know about it? about that.

How do I know about that? Because you're on Facebook all the time. No, I knew about it when I was a child. Did you? Beamish Open their museum, it's called. I'd really... It's been on the telet. Fred Dibner's been there.

Well, I want to go there. It's really good, yeah. Right. Really good. Very good. Good recommendation, that is. There's a lot of places like that, though. North Pennines, whereabouts is that?

It's in the north. Whereabouts is that? It's past the Pennines. I don't really know where they are. In the north. Manchester? Past Manchester. Northumberland?

No, you go past the Pennines to get to Northumberland. I think I'm right insane. Right. I'll get slated now. Get that wrong, aren't I can't wait till you get that wrong. All the lorry drivers will be in touch. Yeah, all those lorry drivers that listen. You'd be surprised.

Loads of them. Talking of drivers, train driver James said, so much I enjoyed on the pod today, the Joni sandwich bit literally made me spit my tear out in my cab. I've just started Ali Katz and I'm loving it. Please let Nat know.

Do you know who didn't like Ali Katz? Oh. Tim. Really? What do he say about it? I think he's a sensible man. He couldn't handle the swearing. Fair enough.

He's a gentleman. Yeah, right. Well. James also said, I might have to sign up to Patreon just for the fruit and veg quiz. might learn some stuff too. Yeah, he texts me that.

And I said, don't hold your breath. No, this is his text that you forwarded to me, by the way. Oh. Yes. That makes sense. When are we going to do the quiz? I don't know. We were going to do it, weren't we, in Montenegro, in the little...

Found a lovely grocer, didn't we? Well, it's like a market. It would have been good. I mean, we were struggling just to buy produce there in English. So what they would have made of us walking about with a couple of microphones pointing at their goods, I'm not sure. No, I'm not sure either. But it would have been the ideal location, wouldn't it?

And it would have been topical. It was a lovely holiday, that? It was, yeah. That feels like a long time ago. And it wasn't at all. It really wasn't. It was a couple of weeks ago. Fully enjoyed myself.

It was brilliant, yeah, it was really, really good. You couldn't find a maxi bong, had you? No, because Oreo have taken over the world or Montenegro. all of the freezers, Oreo. Although an Oreo biscuit, ice cream, I must have had so many of those, because we bought the multi-packs and had them in the freezer. Sorry, we?

I bought the multi-packs and had them in the freezer. Sorry, actually, you did. You bought one with Eliza. Oh, Eliza bought it, yeah. Okay. I was right, then. We bought the multi-pack, more than one of us. But I'm, again, that's slated here.

Anyway, yeah, I ate lots of them because obviously I ate them and the night I'd have gone and replace them so I admittedly did buy more packs than everyone else You can get those here darling I know you can However, I did find a good one That sandwich thing

Anyway, do you know what? No. We've done all this on the Patreon episode Yes, we have, we have I don't want to bore everybody It's a nice holiday special So have a little listen to that And a message here from lovely Daniel Who you work with

Again forwarded on from you My first ever Maxibon experience £2.40 euros well spent. Turns out Magnum now do a copycat version. I was never totally sold with your explanation, as I am not a fan of chalk ice. I just remember the cheap ones my mum used to buy with cheap ice cream and tasteless thin chocolate.

The Maxibon was like two different ice creams in one. Thank you for educating me and broadening my ice cream horizons. At least I can do, Daniel. There you go. After everything you've done off of a journey. There was a special edition Stranger Things in Portugal also Right

Special edition Do you know what You're talking about an ice cream I am That's what you're I got really confused then I saw there was a poster outside of the station the other day

For Stranger Things A theatre show Yes It looked so familiar The The iconography and all of that Stranger Things and stuff But we've never watched that

Have we? No Maybe it's because of The ice cream thing, I recognise it. What is Stranger Things? It's everywhere, darling. But what is it? It's just a huge show, massive show.

It's a, I don't know how many series they've been. I mean, it's massive. Right. It's one we've missed, along with the Game of Thrones. Yes, okay. And along with many, many, many series, really. We don't watch a lot of telly, do we? Not lately.

Quite controversially. I've removed the television. from our bedroom, which I think is at quite a talking point. Yeah. Or, well, literally, because what else can you do in there? Now the TV's gone.

We didn't watch a lot of television in the room. No. The television just looked shit because it was on a tall unit. It did, yeah. I feel like we've redecorated now. Nice in there now. Looks nice.

Open the room out a bit. Yeah. Joni's not happy. She was really angry. Very. Very angry. However, I think a bedroom should be for reading, sleeping, having sex in. I don't think...

Hang on a minute, I mean... What now? It's quite unnecessary, isn't it, to go into that kind of... No, I think if you've got a telly in your room, it's... You're not connecting properly. You're not connecting in the room. Literally. So, I'm very pleased with it.

Very pleased that it's out of... the room and I think it gives the room a lot of feng shui. Well, I'll be reporting back on the... No, you won't because you're stiff. You don't like talking about it. Okay. True. You've got it really got it in for me tonight.

No, I'm just saying we could be... You really have got it in for me. We could be a bit more open with people. People like that sort of talk. Yeah, I'm all right, thanks. There's a line. Fair enough. I think it's nice for people to know that we're happy and have a healthy relationship.

I don't know what you're laughing at. Okay. I'll change the tone. In hospital, as I had to have a hysterectomy, and while I have been here, I am in awe of the wonderful staff. I watched your documentary and loved it, and you thought you knew how hard they worked.

However, now experiencing firsthand what these incredible heroes do on a daily basis is amazing. They always have a smile on their faces, they deserve better credit and better pay. I just hope I have shown and told them, enough how much I appreciate the care they've given me. Love from Trudy. Or Trudy, get well also, please.

And you're right, once you're in those places and something happens to you or a family member or a friend, you realise how amazing they really are. So it's lovely to hear. And I do hope you're on the mend. I've got a message. You know, you're my our friend of the pod, Mia Adkins. Mia? Yes.

A little while back, it's quite old message, I'll be honest, but it's worth reading out. Yeah. Good idea. She said, why don't you do a sticker collection for the podcast? Like a sticker book. Oh, yeah. Panini will snap that up. One page?

Panini. Panini. Oh, it wouldn't do one page. Panini's a sticker book company. I thought that was something, I thought it's like a cheese-in-hand one. That is also a Panini. That is, thank you. I thought I'd gone absolutely mad.

No, but Panini are the company that make the World Cup books and different sticker books. Okay. I know quite a lot about stickers, as you know. I think, do you not see Panini underneath billboards? Possibly. I love a panini. But Joni got a cheese and ham toasting cost her today. Yeah, she loves it, didn't she?

I know, but she'd had a bacon sandwich at home. And then two hours later, I said it's not lunchtime, really. No. Meera also been sent photos of her husband doing shopping with a bag Oh okay Fair enough Yeah if we did a speaker book

Sorry I'm sorry she's so badly delivered The bag was in the basket The bag was what? I can't believe what I've just witnessed My husband doing I'm like why have you got your bag In your basket Just use the bag

Oh I see And as I said sensible man Using his butt boys using the bag No, he's got his bag within the basket And she's saying he should be using the bag as his basket He's not doing what you did Well, he is He's shrouding it with a basket

No It's folded up in the bag Is what she's saying Well, a photo's gone now I don't think it was often Yes It will be I'm telling you now

That's a last thing Let us know I'm not going to read anything else out She always sends me really brilliant videos Whenever she talks It's got a Like a little filter on it with big eyes. I've seen it.

Slightly scary to be able. I quite like it. She's great fun. Okay. Well, that's the last thing I'm going to read out. If you want to follow me on Instagram at camera underscore mark. Plugging that a lot each episode lately. I mean, I get two followers at time every time we do a...

Might as well, though. Two followers is two followers. All for it. Mine's dropped down, my normal one. Is it? Yeah. 541K. It doesn't see.

It goes up to 5402. and then it comes down again. So I get a lot of followers and a lot of unfollow each month. Right. Sort of one apart. You're at that sort of state. It's like reciprocal. I don't know.

Not bothered. Yeah. Not really worried. Perpetual motion? Yes. Hmm. Is that like one of those, one of those swinging, the balls, the swinging balls.

Pendulum. No, but where you have quite a few balls swinging all together. Not, not. The swinging thing With loads of balls together Bunk, bong, you know what I mean? Yes Is that a perpetual motion?

I believe perpetual motion is the notion that you can You know, you sort of get some sort of input I mean the output is the same It's impossible Right Yeah I'll tell you what, you're full of great conversations

Sorry, I'm not really, yeah, well, I don't know what I'm saying I mean generally speaking It's pretty poor quality what comes out of my mouth. Hence the name of the pod that we do. Going back to Mia and the sticker book. Yeah. I'd like it to, have I got to do then,

we've got to do a full on photo shoot. Because there's only five of us. Earlier, we have a load of selfies. Should be able to whack on there, aren't she? So, Maria. Yeah, but I feel like we need to do a sort of shoot with us doing different things. Maybe, yeah.

Do like a photo. So shoot, be good? I'm not sure it will catch on the sticker book idea. No. But I do love the idea because I like stickers. Oh, I thought, but you never know. How is the... A calendar would work.

Yes, a calendar would work. A calendar would be good. Yes. A planner. Like my calendars downstairs. Yeah. So you can write on them and stuff, not a little measly one. But I think that could work.

Are you saying your calendar's a little measly one? I had a dig again. No, mine's really lovely. What I mean is you don't get really little ones. You can't write anything on them. What's the point? Yes. What's the point of it hanging up?

Well, I don't really know. Well, it's irrelevant. You need to plan out the month for me. I like to have it. Not that I really write in our calendar much. You don't know. Because I've got a diary. Dear diary.

Mm. It's what you do now when we go to bed. It's no telly. You can sit and write your diary. It's interesting. You say that. because I was going to start doing some journaling. Right.

Is that the same thing, diary? Not really. It's more, it is about your day, but it's when you, journaling is to do with manifestation and visualization. And the moon? And being great, sort of. But being just what you've been grateful for,

the nice things you've come across throughout the day, it's just to appreciate life a bit. Right. So I was going to do a bit in that. And you should do it when you wake up as well. Okay. Visualise your day what you want to happen. It's good.

Okay, yeah, nice. Well, let me know how it goes. I will do, yeah. Sounds good. We had a message from Joe, lovely Joe Berry. She said, oh my God, tell Mark to stop saying Alexa, causing havoc in people's living rooms. Say what? What, the fact I kept saying Alexa?

Yeah. It's all you did on the last pod. Alexa, Alexa, Alexa. Alexa. Yeah, don't do that, because everyone's Alexa's going to be, yeah. I did know that. All right. Sorry, everybody.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I keep telling us to turn off. I cannot stand that. Just get rid of it. And when I turn it off, it just keeps coming back on. Funny that. Putein's listening for it. Shut up.

Say that. Hey, he is. Don't be silly. Text in, if you're listening. No, we wouldn't be listening to this, would he? Who Putin? Yeah, we never know. I haven't really got a lot to say on that matter.

Okay. I don't like being political, really. Okay. Although I will say one thing. I was listening to LBC earlier, as I do. Why? Because I like that certain things I like. Okay.

I don't listen to it all day. I'm worried about that. You're getting a bit addicted to it again. No, I like the morning. Right. A little bit in the morning. Yeah. And then I like 4 o'clock Tom Swarbrick.

Yeah, okay. And now Andrew Ma is back on at 6 as well. So, yes. Anyway, Andy Burnham did his first big speech today, opening a parliament and all that for the new season. Season? Not football, is it? But you know what I mean?

It was like opening a parliament. Yeah, it was quite good. I feel like he's talking the talk. I think to say about that. Do you know what? I was always talk. Don't ever discuss anything political. with people you don't know.

And by definition, we're on a podcast. I'm just saying... I'm not going to... I mean, I won't even talk to you about it. I'm just... Yes, we do. No. I am just saying I thought he did well

because he hasn't spoke to anybody. He's had a very, very long summer holiday. I mean he's not spoke to anybody? Well, he hasn't stood up in there yet since becoming Prime Minister. Right. He had an extremely long summer holiday. Kemi bade not to give it back to him a little bit,

but I thought he handled it quite well. Do you see my mate, the Earl of Norfolk, wondering about? No. Nice guy. What do you mean you're a mate? Oh, when we used to do state opening a parliament when I used to do it. The Earl of Norfolk is involved in organising the state opening parliament. Oh, I see, okay.

He used to have liaison with him about where to stand, and it was quite involved in the staging of things. What qualifications do you need to be the speaker, Mr Speaker? I don't know what qualifications you need I don't think he's qualified as such is he I'd love that job You'd just have a go at everyone Tell him to shut up

Calm down Quite a nice Do you see black rod What's black rod Blackrod Goes and knocks on the door The House of Commons Gets a door slammed in their face

I know What's all that about though really It's a ceremony I don't know if it was that today I went in the robbing room as well That was interesting. That was where the monarch would go and get there. I don't think I've done it.

The last time I did it was with Queen Elizabeth. I don't think I've done it with King Charles. But I don't know if that was today. Can I just say that? Well, if he's in Parliament now after the summer recess, the state opening of Parliament surely would have happened. I don't know. Hang on a minute.

I see it's very important. No, there's not been a state opening of Parliament since May. Right. 13th from May. My birthday. So I raised my eyebrows and said 13th from May. No, but the listener who isn't watching, can't see that. State opening of Parliament, 2026.

But how has he been in Parliament then? Are you sure he was in Parliament? Yes. State opening Parliament. They were on the benches. Hettling away. September. Back today.

Back today from their school holiday. No, it's not been a state opening of Parliament yet. I don't understand that. That's weird. Oh, there we go. Sorry. So, OG. Listener, Lottie. Hi, Natalie. My nine-year-old is also obsessed with two P machines,

and this is my frayer in Clacton. Also, love Shavakeney. Yep, I used to have a Shavapabney. Now, I remember that being spoken about. Yeah. I've never played it. Yeah. My nan and Gramps always got the board out for me

and my cousins back in the 90s. Bit of talc and powder on it. I used to absolutely love re-talking the board. to make it slippy. Occasionally I see it being used at the local village fate. If you land between the two lines, you get a shot of spirit of your choice. Madness. Definitely wasn't doing that when I was seven.

Speak so lotty. It's a good old game, that. My granddad had a board, and it's just a bit of wood, really, with a bit of the end that stops the coin coming off. And there's little grooves. And didn't you have a little shovel? No, I used to use the part of your thumb, you know, that thick bit there. You should just give it a little knock

and it used to like shove the heapney. I'd like to play that. I wonder where my granddad shove half my mum will have that, surely. Ask her. Like to have a game. Yeah, no, I don't know where that went. But we used to play that, yeah, it was one of a few games, actually. We used to have that and a little plastic,

I remember a box like it was yesterday. It's like a little box with like loads of little curved edges on and a screw top lid and it was full of counters. Yeah. So you could sort of, you know. Tiddly Winks. Tiddly Winks. Tidly Winks.

Yeah, so that used to be another thing. Very good. I taught you Rummy on holiday, didn't I? You did, actually. You enjoyed that? I haven't played that since. No. That's another thing we could do in the bedroom.

Game with Rummy. Game of cards. Yeah. Yeah, I'm up for that. Okay. Strip poker. Okay. Can't play poker?

No. I'd like to be able to play it. No, I'd like to be able to strip, but... Hi, now. I've listened from the beginning, but it's my first time sending you a message. Love the pod so much and listening to you and your family really reminds me of how lucky I am to have mine too. We are spread quite far from each other and my sister, who is my best friend, lives in South Africa and although we talk every single day, I miss her like mad. I absolutely

loved your documentary and I wanted you to know that it inspired me to make the choice to go back into care and work again. My husband and I have three children and our youngest has just turned four and is heading into school in September. I've been working from home as a baker. Brilliant. But knew I would need and want to increase my working hours when all three kids are in school, but I couldn't decide what to do for sure.

I kept floating the idea of heading back into care as I loved it so much. And after watching your documentary, it made me realise how much I miss it too. So I'll be starting back there working nights in the next few weeks. Thanks so much for all your fantastic episodes, sending you all lots of love.

Jen from Essex. And Jen, I love to hear it. I've had a good few of those now where they've watched that series and it's inspired people to either go into care or go back to it. You should do like a follow-up of that series or like another series. Well, fingers crossed. It's good, wouldn't it? A lot of people have watched that.

More people have said to me that they really enjoyed that documentary that you did over many other things you've done. But a lot of people have mentioned it to me. Which I think it's great. Yeah, it's really good. So it obviously got seen by quite a few people. No, it's really good. I'm pleased it's inspired people to do something.

You've sent me another message here. They should really be on your phone. You should be reading them out, but hey-ho. Hi, Mark, you won't believe how utterly happy up my son was receiving this Feast of Steam video via eBay. He is one of the biggest steam engine enthusiasts and also a fan of VHS too. Don't suppose you know of any local model railway exhibitions

this autumn by any chance. Sheridan's school used to host one in Hoddeston, but that seems to have stopped. They often sell VHS and DVDs and he loves a mooch. We're in where, thank you. I also love being part of the Patreon. I think it's such a friendly community and it brightens my days. Really kind gift from my husband as he knows how much I love the show. Please tell Natalie she's doing a wonderful job as well as you and all of the family.

And she also said, is there any chance of a live cooking episode nearer to Christmas? As Nat is such a great cooking, a lover for all things festive. Thank you and have a lovely day. So what I would say is I'm going to be in a pantow with not a lot of time on my hands, but I promise I'm going to definitely do some September and October, maybe vids or little episodes all about food at Christmas and I promise you that I certainly will hoping to get some chefs on

some people who have written books trying to get Sam Nixon on is great he's just got a book called Autumn out with all his cooking in it and I'll probably have the wonderful Elliot Grover our dear friend on to talk about food as well because he's marvellous so watch his space

so do you know of any local model railway exhibitions at all this autumn No, well, I don't know of any ones specifically. However, in that sort of local area in Hertfordshire, you've got Broxbourne Model Railway Club. That's open a lot. So you can head down there and go and have a look.

There's the model railway in a hut. Yes, but it's not an exhibition. You know what I know what you're saying. I'm just highlighting it in case it's not known about. We lived opposite here. I didn't know it was there. There's also another one, well, the same club, but they've got like the garden railway bit just around the corner.

Well, it's like a two-second walk away. they have quite regular exhibition. So if you go on their website, I'm sure they might have something coming up. And that is what, Broxbourne Railway Club? Broxbourne Model Railway Club. But yeah, they've got the indoor hut, which has got the model railway. It's hoping at weekends you can sort of just walk in there. Me and Joan you went in there the other week.

And then in the other end, there's like a garden railway bit, which we've been to. But they do do some open days and what have you. And also, as you're in the area, I'm sure you know about it, but you've got East Hearts Miniature Railway. Oh, at Van Higgs. Van Higgs Garden Centre. Obviously, that's a nice little seven and a quarter inch gauge miniature railway. It's well worth going to.

Very good. And I'm so sorry, I haven't got your name here. That was Mark's fault, not mine. Hi, Natalie and Mark. Bonjourno. From my little Euro trip, currently Paulside in Italy. Thank you for reading my last message out regarding the Cornetto Go ice cream. I have discovered another.

Has Mark got his chops around this one before? A Cucilone. A what, mate? See picture? Cuccellone, it's spelt. I thought I would hate the soggy biscuit, but it was actually banging. Currently staying on a vineyard in northern Italy,

fabulous rustic restaurant, and the wine is around 13 pound a bottle and 2 pound of glass. Absolute madness. Also, the van is parked within the grapevines, idyllic. Love to you and yours. Lottie again.

Lottie's on here again because she sends me loads of messages, so there we go. So a churulana looks like this. Oh yeah, right. I don't think you've had one. No, I haven't.

That's right at my street, though. Yeah. Would you like to explain it? Sorry, we're going to. So it's sort of like a biscuit with ice cream in between the biscuit. So yeah, you're absolutely bang on now. That's exactly the sort of thing I'd enjoy it.

It looks great. Really good. I was a bit disappointed at that one I had away. I found that, you know, I keep looking over there. The rappers. Yes. Yeah. It's been safe for posterity.

But it was really good. And then me and Joni went back to that shop to do a little shop. And more were a queue in up, say, oh, Joanie, go and get me one of those ice cream sandwiches again. She ran off. She said, I can't find it. And I used to hold the place in the queue and I ran around. And, no, they didn't have it in the freezer. There's three free freezers.

And they'd gone. elusive. So I only had one. She's also asking me what the writing says. I can read it, but I can't tell you what it says. Auntie Linney will tell you what it says. I'll post this in our group and I'll get back to you. Oh, yeah.

The response to the third domanda. La dee scriver in the space of water Soto to a third domanda. It's something about relaxing. and something about writing and that's all I know I'm so sorry, Lottie. Why don't you say Alexa?

What does this mean? Oh no, don't. The problem is switch off if we keep doing that. You can't keep doing that. Honestly. But they could translate it for you then, couldn't they? I got this from Michelle on Sunday. Hi, Nat, my husband Ross and I are currently in Switzerland

at a place which inspired Tolkien's Rivendale. Ross has never had a maxim. before and I've been quite upset not being able to get him one in the UK. Lo and behold, this quiet, quaint town in the mountains had them in their little shop. I can't send a picture unless you accept this message, silly Instagram, which I have done, by the way. I'm hoping to get a picture soon. I love the pod. Ross will listen when his two faves Mark and Tony are on.

All the best love Michelle and Ross from Scotland. Oh, that's nice with Ross, isn't it? Very, very nice. Two favourites, that's great. Very good, isn't it? Yeah. Doesn't like the women. How lovely. Nat, hi, Carla, here in Ireland, just listening to you and Linney.

And oh my goodness, I nearly cried. I'm usually ringing to give out about Mark, but in fairness in this instance, if you freeze the tomato, especially smaller ones, if you freeze the tomatoes whole, when you go to defrost them to use them, the skins just fall off. There's absolutely no need. And also the skins on them protect the flashes. They're freezing. So the poor chap in this instance, for one's mark, I'm being nice.

The poor chap spent the whole time doing that, and it was unfortunately completely unnecessary. But you look, I mean, we all live and we learn, I suppose. Thanks, really enjoying everything as always. Take care. Bye-bye. Two hours I spent doing it. And then Linda said you could boil them and just use a moolie, which I've got downstairs. So that's another way.

But I think we should do what Carla said. I think we should freeze them whole. And what did she say about me? Sorry, at the beginning. Oh, she has a go. Is that the one who was always having to go? She has a pop. Right.

But this time she's on your side. Oh, great, yeah. She just told me that I absolutely wasted a couple of hours on a Sunday. There we go. And also, can I just say? It was Thursday night, actually, when lovely Jamie Borswick was here. Okay. Can I just say that Linda was absolutely right.

I had done the ironing. Six shirts. Okay, yeah. More than the zero shirts that you wind. The rest of the ironings still on the ironing board. I rest my case. Just so you know. I rest my case.

I haven't done it yet. Don't need it. Don't you worry about that. I've been washing clothes all day. Right, okay. What was I doing on holiday? Everything day. What was I doing on holiday?

Doing a load of washing. Yeah. Every day you came down and there were towels laid out like it was being serviced. There were towels on the... Every day of our life. I do two loads of washing. Are you having a laugh? Well, you don't.

So I do a lot. Darling. How many, please. Every now and again, you have a... No, you do. Every now and again, whenever I'm at home, I do it. Which isn't very often. So don't take it every now and again.

Every now and again. Okay. Right. You wouldn't do it at the weekends. Hey? Wouldn't do it at the weekends. That's exactly when I was doing it last. Because you were off for the day.

I'm just holding my ground on this. I do the washing. I would say you do do the washing. Yeah. But you can't say you do the washing in the house. You can't do that. I think there's been on many occasions where you've been busy, weeks where I've done the vast majority.

And I'm not being funny. I also tend to sort of do it and sort of get it and put away. Tell you something else, sorry. Go on. Tell me sorry. No, no. We're going deep here. you don't fucking put it away

you put yours away well I over mind goes you do not put any other washing away do I do I do I do jones but she then comes with me and tells me everything goes and you put the tails away

I put the tails away just not me and Liseers no that's fair enough but I do the ironing there's also a few times when you do the washing and it's funny it's all your things yeah

you've got all your bits out wash drawers That happens quite a lot, doesn't it? I've got a lot of washing. You do, actually. You are the biggest culprit? No. Eliza uses her washing basket as the automatic filing machine.

Yes. If she's got anything, she can't be bothered to put in a cupboard. She just puts it in the laundry basket. She does. Doesn't matter if she's tried it on, she puts in the laundry basket. Agreed, but that has stopped now. Right, okay. No, it has stopped.

All right. Because I really know I had to see her down and say this is not fun. Right. So she's got much better. You need to have a same conversation now about the loading of the dishwasher. What about it? Well, she thinks that there's some sort of contraption that like pipes everything from the sink into the dishwasher automatically. All the side.

And files it all in. I know, yeah. Yeah. It's not like an automatic sort of, like there's some sort of wallets and grommet machinery that sort of picks it all up and loads it. moves it around the kitchen for us. We had a message actually, talking of Wallace and Gromit and inventions. Someone sent me a steam engine, model railway,

and they'd tied a hose pipe to it, and it was water in the garden as it went round. Yeah. Sorry, just made me think of Wallace and Gromit. It was that sort of thing. I see what you mean. Like sort of Heath Robinson, sort of. Is that?

You've never heard of a phrase, Heath Robinson? No. Heath Robinson would be like this podcast is quite... It's anything that's sort of thrown together. What, why is that? I think it comes from...

Now, where does it derive from? I am going to look it up. I'm going to look it up. Before you look it up, why don't you have a go? I think it comes from Swiss family Robinson where the family lash up stuff and like they build a tree house

and all live in the tree house. So it's all sort of lashed up. I think... What Swiss family, Robert? It's a book. Oh, I'm sorry. No idea. Now, let's find out. Rivoting this today.

Where does Heath Robinson come from? I mean, you can't even type it. I thought it would be better to speak being we're doing a podcast rather than type it, but obviously... Ah, you ready for this? Go on. The saying Heath Robinson comes from William Heath Robinson, a famous English cartoonist, an illustrator who drew absurdly complex, over-engineered machines. to perform simple everyday tasks.

So it's not entirely... No, you're completely wrong. No, but everybody uses the phrase Heath Robinson for something that's a bit of me. I've never heard of it in my life. I don't think everybody does. Probably characters at the railway do it. Please, camera underscore mark on Instagram account,

send me a message if you've heard about it, please. Or 07-8201919. Mark of a C, I must point out. Mm-hmm. All of my Instagram messages, by the way, my message requests have been deleted. It's really annoying that. So, yeah, the lady at message about the local railway thing, I've not replied to you because I've not got your message anymore,

which is a real shame. Oh, bless your heart. Never mind, eh. Joan is back to school tomorrow. How do you feel about that? Had a lovely day with her today. We went shopping, got her a few autumnal outfits, because she really didn't have any clothes for the weather change.

it's definitely turned, isn't it? Last night, sorry, not last night, tonight I was putting the bins out. Yeah, but it's lovely, it's got a lovely. No, it's really horrible. They're putting the bins out, and there was a, I think someone was having like a bonfire. Oh, that's a bit early.

That's a joke. Yeah, it was a bit of a joke. And, yeah, I thought, oh, here we go. Not November the 5th, mate. But I was collecting chilies as well. And that feeling of, and that sounds really weird. associate bringing in the harvest of chilies with the beginning of September.

What? It's really too. What's that? You're talking like you Jeremy Clarkson. No. Like a farmer. When I do the harvest for the chilies. No, I didn't say that.

I said bringing in the harvest of chilies. Have you seen how many chilies we've got? No, we have got a lot. Blimey. We need a machine to get them in. No, I did that. And also... Maybe you can do a Heath Robinson.

Is that right? No. Is that work? Not really. But something I was going to say to you, I also got you a nice big bowl of tomatoes brought in. Yes. Now, yes, granted now we're sort of getting to the dregs of the tomatoes.

I wouldn't call those dregs down there. No, they're nice. They're nice. You've been a little bit lazy, I feel, because you firstly wanted to collect them in. Sorry? Why am I lazy? Because all of them really difficult to get to tomatoes,

like round the back bit. I always go around there. Well, there's about five, basically that whole bowl was collected from around the back. I went round the back I didn't get a lot I couldn't because I did a lot at the front

I had no room and I thought I can't do any more than the bowl I did Alright Not you're fat But anyway I mean what a bowl of tomatoes

I think this year We've had about six of those We've had more than that Have we? Yeah A lot of tomatoes Yeah We've got to chill out on the cherry ones

next year No no no no I love it I mean we just need to Once we now Out to freeze them Which sounds like I think

We can just put them in a bag and freeze them. Well, let's try that. Which, we've got, we've got enough to try it. Well, in about three days' time, there'll be another one of those buckets. Well, that's good. But I do want to also make a nice sauce to freeze. Nice.

Fresh, and I'll freeze that as well. Yeah. So. No, I'm up for that. Very good. And if I do a curry, it should be. I want to use that. They're too sweet.

They're too sweet. That I think you did the other day, they're lovely. But it's just so sweet. You need to kind of try and get rid of the sweetness. Well, you just need to balance it out with salt, but you don't like too much salt. I do not. Awful.

Eliza needs to get out of the habit of that as well. She had gallons of salt on anything she makes. Before she even tasted it, that's weird. What's strange? Why would you add a condiment? Before tasting. Yeah. I agree with you on that.

I find that a bit odd. I tell you what I do find odd, though. Talking of salt. When you go to a restaurant and there's salt and, pepper isn't on the table. I was just thinking, because I know exactly what you're talking about

and I don't mind it. There's loads of places I've been. There's one place in particular but you were there you pointed it out. I just... You were talking about it for a while after the tasting.

I just think there should be salt and pepper on the table. I think it's quite a bold statement to think you don't need to season anything. Well... I have a lot of black pepper

for instance. Yeah. I enjoy that. I'm very upset that white pepper's gone. It's not really around anymore when you go out. But... Is it not?

Not really. They've probably got white pepper in that little pub you like down the road. Probably, yeah. Probably, possible. I'm looking forward to going there. I'll be doing that once. I'll tell you what, when you go to do your pantomime, yeah.

I can go to that pub and get myself a little dinner with the girls. We can go to the Milliman Carter. You can. There'll be loads of stuff we can do. Yep. You know, Joni's with me for some of it. For some of it. But not, not, well, yeah.

For some of it? Yeah. That would be nice. It will be. Are you going to come and see me as well? Hang out on my room. I'm hoping that you'll come and hang out in my dressing room sometimes so I can see you. Or do I hang out in your dressing room?

So I'll get to see you. Okay. I'll see you in the evening, do I? Come on watch the show. You said there's no tickets. I'll tell you what, it's selling out. Selling like hot cakes. Christmas Eve and all that.

Go on. Can I go into it with a lighting bird? or something. I'm sure, yeah. I'm sure we can work it out. Yeah. That would be lovely. Are you looking forward to it?

Yeah. Yeah. You don't sound very convinced. No, I'm going to embrace it. Okay. You're going to really enjoy it, surely. Yeah, I'm worried a little bit about getting stuff done. What do you mean?

I'm quite excited, though. I did speak to the lady today in Clinton Cards. Right. A lovely lady. Yeah. I said, when's the Christmas gear in? She said, it's already started a little. I said, that's a smattering.

I said, but when's it all out? She said, probably next week. And I am one, I never buy it too early, but in this instance, Christmas shopping is starting within the next couple of weeks. Everything needs to be wrapped, done, everything. By the time this goes out, it's less than eight weeks and you'll be putting the decorations up.

If you put them up at the right time. Well, I won't be putting, they're going up earlier. Right. Because I start work on the 21st of November. That's six weeks away. So in five weeks I'll be going up. No, it's not six weeks away, darling. It's the first of October.

So I'm going to be putting them up the week of the 15th of November. 15th of November? Roughly, yeah. 10 weeks away? Yeah. Bad maths. Terrible. But yes, the tree will be going up before I start work.

That's mad. didn't it, 10 weeks away? 10 weeks is quite a long time. When I think about the six-week summer holidays that we've just had, that's nearly double what I've just had. So it's quite a long time, actually. It's all right. What you just had?

The six-week holidays for the kids. It's not too good. I feel like it's been perfect. No. Genuinely. I feel very fortunate, so grateful. We've had some lovely breaks. I feel like they're ready now,

definitely ready to go back. Joni especially needs a routine again And I think it's Yeah I feel like it's perfect Which is a lovely feeling to have She's got a new bag, new school bag And Joni? One on the shoulder

She didn't want a rucksack Oh you are joking me On the shoulder bag So she's got a little shoulder bag Well I'm not carrying that to I'm not wearing that when we go to school Every morning when she said I carry the bag

And after walking over a rucks I'm not carrying a shoulder bag Well, to be quite honest with you, the smigrel purple unicorn one wasn't exactly your style. I didn't mind that. But that's a real shame. That's just changed the dynamic of taking her to school. She wanted a grown-up one like Eliza. Oh.

What's happened to it? The last two weeks. That's what happens. Really? Yes. I mean, she's just gone like... It's what happens. Sassy and...

Year six. Oh. And that's it. This time next year, summer. She's going to secondary school and I see it gone. Bye. Madness. Anyway, it's been a lovely summer.

They've been very good, very well behaved. I don't feel, I don't think, honestly, if you really think about it, have we had a kind of big drama screaming match with either of them? I was thinking with you, but... Well, that's well given. The... Every night about half-tenth. I don't know.

No, we haven't. We haven't at all. No. So, yeah, they've been a joy. They've been alright, actually. Yeah, they have been alright. I have. Maria said something interesting to me the other day.

Yeah. And she said about doing the live show that's coming up. Yes. And she said, oh, we're not done one for ages. It's true. I can't wait to do that. It will be lovely to get back on stage again. Where is it?

Bishop Stortford, is the first one. They have a tickets for it. doing all right. They're not doing too badly at all. Where can you get the tickets from? Well, you can go on to my Instagram and look at Comey. Yeah. And they're all on there.

Yeah. But again, if you go to South Mill Arts, Bishop Stortford, you'll find the tickets on there. The Fortune Theatre in Covent Garden. Again, you go on there, find the theatre. What's on? You'll find us. Am I doing? Which one am I doing?

I'm hoping most of them, darling. Oh, I'd be nice that. It will be good. And then we're in Tring. Right. You're at the Denby Theatre. So again, you haven't really, just find the theatres online, type in what's on, and there we go. So Denby Theatre.

Demby. Where's that? In Tring. Fortune Theatre in Covent Garden. Yeah. And then you have the South Mill Arts, which is Bishop Stortford. Brilliant. There we go.

Oh, that's good. So that's coming up. Live shows. Yeah. Mettys. Brunch is nearly sold. Yes. So if anyone, genuinely now, if.

anybody wants a ticket for the brunch, they could be sold out by the time I say this, but please, again, Hartford House, what's on, and see if there's anything left. So, I just talked me through the brunch thing. Talk you through it? Yeah, what do you do, brunch. So that's breakfast and lunch. Correct. Right.

So. It's 12 till 4. That's lunch, isn't it? Well, you say brunch. It's a thing, isn't it? Brunch. Yeah, but it's not. It's lunch.

You don't do lunch It's brunch It's brunch It's not Because brunch is definitely No I know what you mean But we're doing 12 12 to 4

Right You can have brunches at any time now darling I disagree Have a little look online That's a lunch Have a little look online Let's be honest It's a lunch

But have a little look All right You're doing a lunch Brunch Okay I can't Do you know what Everyone arrives

I've got to say By the way Tonight That amazing Dover's soul brunch you did for us was delicious for cauliflower cheese. That was dinner. Brunch? I'm calling it brunch.

You can't do it in the evening. You have brunch whatever you want? Just quoting you. Can I also just say, for anyone listening to that, I did not make cauliflower cheese to go with a Dover Soul tonight. I did think it was a bit random. No, I just had some leftover from yesterday and you love it. So I reheated it for you.

I'm like the bin. No, you love cauliflower cheese. And what did you say? It's the best one you've done. There you go. By far. Marks and Spencer Cornish Cruncher. There you go.

Absolutely the best cauliflower cheese. Sorry, you were saying about your lunch? 12 to 4. Yep. Everyone comes in? Yep. Cocktails are free. Drinks are free for 90 minutes.

Wow. Freebie. Right. We all have a little chat. So can I rock up and have like four bottles of champagne? You can't hum because you have a penis. Girls only. That's a little bit sexist.

You can't do that. Girls only. In fact, I'm saying... You can get in trouble for that. Do you know something? I'm saying girls only. You haven't published that? I don't think I have, but everybody... It's a girly thing.

Hang on a minute. Yeah. How do you know it's girls only? I don't. But I don't... Genuinely... Yeah. I will crack up.

I think it'll be... If the three of you rock up and it's like a load of... I think it'll be girls and gays. Right, okay I might be wrong I can I'm not sure you can I'm not sure you can stereotype this

but okay Have a little look at brunches and see who goes It's a lunch However It's going to be fun Yeah We can have a little chat

Yeah Got a little stage And then everyone has a big brunch In the middle Lots of things to pick at Loads of food And then a little interaction

We've ever run, have a little walk round. It's quite personable because there's only 60 people in the room. And then I've got fantastic DJ coming. And we have a boogie for an hour. If people want to stay afterwards and carry on the night, it's open. That's 4 o'clock. You've got a bit of weight. Big a problem.

You're not carrying on the night, have you? When it finishes at 4. But people can stay there, is what I'm saying. They can continue their evening. Well, they could maybe have another brunch, couldn't they? Around about 6, 7 o'clock. Unbelievable. French.

That's bad. I'm going to really have a word of Maria about that. Marketing's gone, for her, that surprises me. Somebody bang on this sort of detail. Firstly, we've discovered there's no advertising saying it's got to be women only. No, that's just me. You've only realised that now. That's just me.

You've got a disconceived idea. I have. I have. And now, I mean... It doesn't matter if blokes are there. Well, thank you. I might come, Ben. No.

Why? Because it's a brunch. Hang on. You're really going back. You know this is recorded? Yes. You can listen back to this. You just said, yeah, bloke some videos.

I think you'll find that most people there will not be your sort of thing. Do you know what I mean? I don't know what you mean by that. Just don't think it's... What are you suggesting? I just don't think a brunch is your sort of thing. No, but a lunch, however, I'm well up for.

And I can do a lunch. Maybe we could do a dinner of some kind. We were talking about that though doing a supper club around at Linda's. Right. Well, at Linda's house? Yeah. Sorry.

Sorry. She's suggesting... At Linda's house? Yes. I mean, how many people are you expecting? Twelve. Belign me, O'Reilly. Twelve.

But that would be quite a... A, very expensive to go to. Right. But it would be... worth it because I'll be cooking with my brother and all the family. So you'd be having sort of a five-course meal throughout the night. I don't even get invited around there. I haven't been around for ages.

Brilliant. I think that's the only way we're going to get there. Well, I'm not paying to come to a... We were talking about that the other day saying that we've got to go around for dinner. We will do that soon. We will. Oh, we could go around for brunch. Right, on that note, I'm off now, driving me mad.

See you, everybody. See you later.