Life with Nat - EP32: Nat and Victoria Emes - insta ledge

Episode Date: August 7, 2024

Nat has followed Bic for years so she’s got other on the pod to chat children, social media and being an entrepreneurial person. You can catch her on insta - @victoriaemes And find Fit B*tch here - https://www.fitbtchpower.com/ Please subscribe, follow, and leave a review. xxx You can find us in all places here; https://podfollow.com/lifewithnat/view INSTA: @natcass1 We're also on Facebook now too: https://www.facebook.com/lifewithnatpod A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] SHOW INFO: Life with Nat - it’s me! Natalie Cassidy and I’ll be chatting away to family, friends and most importantly YOU. I want to pick people's brains on the subjects that I care about- whether that’s where all the odd socks go, weight and food or kids on phones. Each week I will be letting you into my life as i chat about my week, share my thoughts on the mundane happenings as well as the serious. I have grown up in the public eye and have never changed because of it. Life with Nat is the podcast for proper people. Come join the community. ♥️ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is an ad from BetterHelp Online Therapy. We always hear about the red flags to avoid in relationships, but it's just as important to focus on the green flags. If you're not quite sure what they look like, therapy can help you identify those qualities so you can embody the green flag energy and find it in others. BetterHelp offers therapy 100% online, and sign-up only takes a few minutes.

Visit BetterHelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com. Hello and welcome to Life with Nat. How are you all? Do you know something? Well, it's a bit of a funny place, isn't it, at the moment? So I just want to try and bring some joy for an hour to you all. Have a little laugh. But I've got a really, really lovely message from my Debs, Debbie, who's been on the pod a couple of times now. And I think this is really, really lovely. from my Debs, Debbie, who's been on the pod a couple of times now. And I think this is really, really lovely. And we need to surround ourselves by good people. And remember that a hell of a lot of the world is filled with good people. And yeah, have a listen

to this. Good morning, Nats. It's Debs. I hope everyone's okay. Really enjoying all the pods lately. Hysterical. Love your nieces. Really looking forward to tonight's one too. I just wanted to say to everyone, during these really uncertain times, I just wanted to say this poem, and it's by Martin Luther King. Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that.

That's by Martin Luther King. Love to all your listeners now and hope at some point everyone can just love each other. God bless everyone. Take care. Oh, Debs, thank you for that. Sometimes you need a little poem, don't you? Martin Luther King, what a legend. So, yeah, I just thought I'd touch on the world at the moment because I don't really talk about kind of things that are going on and news

just because I want this to be a place of escapism. And I want this to be a place where we all just get away from stuff. But I did think that was just a lovely way to start this morning. I am talking today to a lady that I've followed on Instagram for a very long time. Her name's Victoria Eames. Victoria has, or Vic as she likes to be known, started on Instagram about six and a half years ago doing interiors and stuff like that and she got a bit bored and then she realised she had funny bones and she really is hilarious. Some of it is a bit risque, she does love to eff and blind

but she talks the things that we think about parenting, motherhood, menopause stuff, perimenopause. She's hilarious and also very, very entrepreneurial. She's got a rebel retreat sort of business, which is for women to go away, which looks amazing that I want to talk to her about. And she has Fit Bitch, which is F-I-T-B-T-C-H, which is sports and fitness, where she's got loads of real women doing different lessons and different exercise plans. It's really, really interesting. So I want to talk to her not only really about the parenting side of things, but how successful she is as a woman and how she's come up with ideas and actually followed them

through. Because I think there's a lot of time where we all say, oh, I'd like to start this. I'd like to do something, but we never do it. So I really want to pick her brain on what drives her really. So I just think she's a really smart, funny, entrepreneurial woman. Let's have a listen. Where are you now? Is that like a little thing in your house? So this, it was a spare bedroom. Yeah. In the kind of loft area. Yeah. And I've made it into a little podcast studio.

I love it. It looks very cute and cosy. And guess what? I've got that desk that's behind you. I've got that desk. Have you? Great. It's great. So I've got the, my husband's got the black version of it in the our spare room he's in there yeah and then this is my office and I've got the bigger same light rattan thing I love it so cute perfect and also I can see that you're a lover of green oh yeah oh my god my whole house is just different shades of green basically yeah yeah it's very calming it brings us closer to nature when's your birthday. It is calming. It brings us closer to nature. When's your birthday? It is June.

We're the same year, aren't we? We're both 83. Yeah, 83, yes. So what month are you? So we've just been turned 41. I'm May, May the 13th. Okay, so I'm June the 7th, so we're only a month apart, mate. Not far away.

Yeah. I thought you might be a Taurian just because of the way you are. you're nearly there you know you're a gemini so right it's not too bad Gemini's a bit mental aren't they apparently yeah I mean I think you've got a couple of sides to you haven't you let's be honest true story do you know what's um my daughter is also a Gemini and I've always had like I have like really intense relationships with other Gemini women it's really it's really strange but we can be like so so tight but then also quite explosive um I have to say I think that is mums and daughters in fucking general yes I think so my Eliza my eliza will be 14 in september yeah oh

my god oh my god it's the age it's the age isn't it it is a crazy time having having a very lovely time at the moment yeah there's no arguments it's really really calm so i'm really enjoying this spell how long it's gonna last I don't know no you just got to cling on to the good bits haven't you exactly and then ride the waves of chaos so you have Edith I've got Edith yeah so I've got two kids yeah um a little boy who's seven and a little girl who is five yeah and yeah that's my lot no more two's enough do you know what I say two hands perfect are you gonna cross the road if you have any more yes I like that I like that because I'm one of four right and I just find that now like looking back just how the hell did my mum deal

with that because she was on her own quite a lot of it my dad used to work away loads so she was like you know really been single mum on and off over the years but she had four of us and we were all quite close in age I was just about to ask you that yeah look it's probably roughly two years between each each of us and then my two sisters who are older than me they're like I don't know they're about 14 months apart so it would have been so full-on but she's like bloody Mary Poppins do you know what I mean she loves it she loves it not like me I didn't inherit that Mary Poppins vibes at all it's interesting isn't it because I feel myself and my niece actually talk about it often I don't feel guilty about not being Mary Poppins oh god I love my kids I love my kids weins. Oh God, no. I love my kids. I love my kids.

We all, do you know what I mean? I adore my kids. Yeah. But sometimes they just get on my nerves. I know, they do. They really, really get on my nerves and I want to be on my own. Yeah, because it's a lot.

I think motherhood is really overwhelming and it just takes away sort of your autonomy as well, you know, in many ways. And I get the same, I really crave time on my own to just be able to restore really. And like the patience levels kind of just go meh, just deplete, deplete, deplete, deplete, then hit like rock bottom of it. And that's when I know I need to just get away for like the day or book something in where I'm going to go with my girlfriend or something because then I can just go reset and come back with the patience restored to 100% doesn't last long but you know just having those little

sort of pockets of time on my own I genuinely believe that we need pockets of time I'm you know working mark work we're both freelance we're both saying yes to everything all the time we really you know you just worry don't you you think oh I've got to say yes to this this and this yeah we've got a nanny but you know if I have a quiet week I just I don't feel guilty about saying no nanny's gonna do that day and I'm just gonna go out for the day yeah I mean I haven't done it for a long time I haven't done it for a long time but I'll get on the train I'll go into London I'll have a walk on the train. I'll go into London. I'll have a walk down the Thames. I'll go to a gallery.

I'll just be on my own. I'll have lunch on my own. I love that. I absolutely love that. It resets me. Yeah, absolutely. We need it. I love that we've just come straight in.

I know. It's like nothing. Just bang, right, let's fucking talk about this. Well, welcome. Sorry, I've not even welcomed you welcome on to life with nat it's so lovely to have you i've been following you for such a long time and me and my family we said you know clips of you go look what she's doing today do you know what i mean it's so nice to actually have a good chat with you and uh yeah i just wanted to not only talk to you really about the Instagram stuff

because obviously that's where all everything has come from and we're very lucky aren't we now I think with social media people can slag it off you know people are making social content that people really enjoy to watch and it becomes a job yeah exactly yeah absolutely and and I think people um do slag it off a lot and obviously there are loads of negative negative things about it but I'd say particularly for mums when motherhood these days is very different to what it was 20 30 years ago even further back you know there was much more of a sense of a community geographically as well like you stay close to your parents all that sort of stuff like that's really changed now and I think there are a lot of mums that are completely in isolation and then when they go into motherhood they don't necessarily have friends that are doing it the same time or that live close by whatever and so

it can really feel like you're marooned a little bit just by yourself. And social media is just a way to feel connected to other mums. Have company. Have company that make you... And not feel that you're going through those things on your own, right? Exactly. I remember having Eliza and feeling very on my own. I had no friends doing it at the same time, really. I wasn't in a good relationship at

all but I just remember being in the flat not sleeping getting up and thinking I'm just gonna walk right I used to put her in the pram and just walk for hours just remember walking up and down roads just thinking I'm just gonna stay out all day just yeah I did the same I walked so much I found that just quite therapeutic really but it was the same with all of us when I had my little boy we just moved into the area I didn't I didn't know anybody and um I found it so isolating I really did especially at the beginning when I had a really hard time like breastfeeding and and how did you get on with that fucking hell mate seriously the first time it was absolute chaos I would say um and things I had like a

I had what you'd probably describe as quite an easy birth for for both of them birth was fine you know I had two home births and I did yeah and I loved it I sort of love births like I think it's amazing and incredible I know a lot of people I don't oh my god Eliza was two weeks late I was like an elephant yeah they were shoving pessaries up me oh my god yeah and then they'd come in I was in agony and they'd go half a centimeter dialect i said what are you talking about so i ended up having a a c-section an emergency c-section and then the second one round i said i ain't doing that again book a date in get me yeah and that's brilliant i think feeling empowered to be able to do that because obviously you've been for it the first time i think mum's the first time particularly with anything when you have a baby everything's new you've never experienced it

and so everything can seem really really overwhelming and you just drown in it don't you and you don't know you can't really trust your gut you know they say like trust your gut trust your gut but the first time around I couldn't because I didn't fucking know what my gut was telling me because there's just all this mixed messaging coming from all these different channels I remember doing hypnobirthing with Eliza so I did the hypnobirthing classes and you have this kind of idealistic vision of what it's going to be like and it's all perfect yeah not only was I in a an awful relationship probably why I had an awful birth to be honest but um yeah it was just all not very good and then I had this bundle of Joy Turnup and that just made everything perfect.

How was your breastfeeding? Did you breastfeed or not? So I started doing it a little bit with Eliza. Couldn't. Gave up. Just found it really, really difficult. Joni now, I turned into a bit of a lunatic. Did you?

Yeah, genuinely. So I started breastfeeding. I was obsessed with it yeah i bought the milk thistle tea i had every single thing to help me do it i was so set on breastfeeding her and she was she lost a bit of weight at the beginning then the nurse came back wader she still was losing weight but i was adamant i mean she was fucking screaming everyone was like she might be a bit hungry you know yeah she's a bit hungry. You know, she's a bit hungry. I go, I'm hungry. What did you say?

She's fine. But in the end, you know, I gave in. And I think some people can do it and some people can't. And it's great if you can. But come on, aptimal, there's nothing, it's fine. I know. I think this is the thing. I think women just kill themselves to do it, don't they?

Yeah. And there's, like we were talking about the guilt, there's so much guilt attached to not doing it, either whether you choose to not do it or whether it just doesn't work out for you. The guilt. Vic, I swear to you, I remember being in a park. We'd gone to meet Mark's family. Joni was in the pram.

We went off. I went off with Eliza to see the owls or something. And I came back and he was holding Joanie feeding her a bottle it was like he was feeding her crack I was like what are you doing I was so angry but he was absolutely doing the right thing as her father as her dad you know and like you say I do think you get brainwashed into feeling so guilty so guilty definitely and there is judgment from other people at the end of the day maybe you've got to block that out you've just got to do what's right for you and the baby with oliver it was hell and after about four weeks he never slept

because he was never fed properly no so we just oh god you're starving i was like mental because i've been surviving on pockets of like 45 minutes sleep maximum and then you'd wake up and I was just hell yeah then my husband was the same he was like we get let's just give him the bottle just give him the bottle you need to rest he needs to eat and I can remember just being like no no way I'm not doing that and we had all the stuff there because he went out to Tesco at like three o'clock in the morning and got it all and there was a really particularly bad night and then eventually because you know I had like cracked bleeding nipples I've got my stitus like everything for me it was never that I couldn't produce like enough milk like I had too much milk but he just

wouldn't latch on so I couldn't drain it it was it was horrendous I had like one massive tit and I went to A&E because I was in so much pain and I never forget this doctor he was like a 12 year old basically he looked so young like Doogie Howser do you remember Doogie Howser it was like an 80s show and he was like a really young progeny doctor. It was him. So he's about 12. And I've been to see like the health visitor, the GP and the repeated message was feed through it. Keep feeding your baby. Keep feeding your baby, which,

you know, that is so fucking damaging anyway. But this little 12 year old guy, he wasn't really 12. Obviously he's a doctor, but he said to me, he's put his little, his tiny little 12 year old hand on my arm.

No, you can just give the baby a bottle you are quite ill I was like oh okay and it was like I needed his permission yes weirdly it's okay because he's like a doctor so if a doctor says it's fine we gave Oliver a bottle and I swear to god he slept for four hours and it was the first time that he'd ever slept for that amount of time and then after that because I did have quite a lot of milk I had to I just couldn't put him back on my tick it was too traumatic yeah so I had to pump so I did pump for quite a while until I could like get rid of the milk basically um but with Edith when she was born I hadn't decided if i was going to breastfeed or not because of the trauma of all of that stuff and i had of course feeding guilt like i felt so good like it was bereavement almost yeah i had been able to do it awful yeah i know um so i combi fed her from birth so we did a combination of boob and bottle and i i fed her for a whole

year because i'd gone that's great i ended up doing combi feeding with Joni and a little bit on the boob and a little bit of bottle. But, yeah, I never, ever, I could sit with a double breast pump on for four hours and get that. Yeah, for some women it just doesn't work because it's about like the oxytocin being released and all that shit, isn't it? And obviously if you've got like two massive plastic things strapped to you and it's the noise yeah it's like a lorry fucking reversing oh my god but yeah i did manage to to do that i was so glad that i did because i had

such a better experience of those early days and i got sleep because my husband would do we'd do a night on a night off yeah so I fucking slept which just made all the difference I don't think yeah the sleep deprivation when you have a newborn baby it's you just feel permanently sick don't you jet lagged yes jet lag yeah that's exactly what it feels like jet lag no distinction between day and night it's all just you know you're just going into one day into the next not knowing anything you're like nothing's happening to me yeah it's awful it's so hard but everybody who's listening it's fantastic if you're pregnant yeah congratulations congratulations you'll be all right you need to hear this it's good we're just prepping you we're just prepping you because then i think if you have like i think the thing is maybe we just have these really

idealized expectations of what it's going to be like and then if you just hear the other side of the coin it's not going to necessarily put you off but it's just going to maybe lower those expectations a bit it's exactly that the higher put you off but it's just going to maybe lower those expectations a bit it's exactly that the higher your expectation the more disappointed you're going to be so it's better to hear the crap yeah let us serve that and then when it's a little better you go this is not as bad as they said it's quite good get groceries delivered across the gta from real canadian superstore with pc express shop online for super prices and super savings try it today and get up to 75

in pc optimum points visit superstore.ca to get started so when you had oliver so he's seven now right yeah he's seven was was that when you started once obviously all of that trauma he was six months old or whatever and you felt better is that when you started your kind of social posting insta stuff exactly so i think this was really linked into the feeling of isolation and not having any friends i wasn't really a big social media person in my personal life I didn't really use it I had it but I'd like post a picture every month or something and it'd just be I don't know some shitty landscape with like a little abstract quote you know like it wasn't something that I really

did and obviously I used it to stalk boyfriends you know potential boyfriend all that sort of thing how we how we like to use social media yeah yeah the old facebook years ago yeah it was all facebook but my best mate who yeah i mean listen she's a trendsetter for me anything she does i'm always like oh i want to do that but she said to me you know you should start an instagram because she was on there and she followed loads of interiors people so you know i just but we'd lived in the house for about two years and we'd renovated it and we did all the renovation stuff ourselves and it's quite handy just quite like yeah DIY savvy or whatever and she said you know you should start this and you should share pictures

of your house and you know it could actually be something and so I just I don't even know what possessed me to do it really I think it was was just her. She just totally influenced me. And I said, oh, all right then. So I just started posting some pictures of the house and like followed lots of interiors people. And there was one woman that I followed who just used to write really funny captions, even though she, it was the same, like all interior stuff. And I just thought, oh, I'm all right then. If she's, she's writing funny stuff. So maybe I'll write some funny stuff and I actually talk how I speak like rather than be like

oh this is the only project that I made you know like just boring stuff to me just be yourself yeah so I just started writing captions that were not about the interiors at all it was all about the experience of motherhood and look listen i tell you i used to craft these captions because social media is really different now isn't it like no one reads the fucking captions anymore i don't think they do anyway well no i don't well i don't know i think i hope they do sometimes because I write quite a bit to be honest with you well it wasn't it wasn't video either was it was all stills yes yeah you're more likely to engage with the text I think on a still than you are on a video because the video is kind of saying it all isn't it yeah yeah yeah so I just started getting like quite a positive response from that and the followers

like just kept growing really in a very organic way and at this point I'm still not thinking this is a career or anything like that I'm just thinking oh all right this is nice so lovely and then when video stories came in that's when I came into my own now because I could be a dickhead yeah like on video that really I think really cemented the the followership because I've got like hardcore followers who have been there from day one yes I don't know just all the interaction in the stories and like that was the thing that I really enjoyed doing because I thought it was just funny like it was like oh I can just be funny and say funny shit but not make any videos or anything and post them on my main feed that didn't come until like two years into doing it right okay so you did think I mean you thought about it though

I did yeah you know whereas I've never thought about anything I joined Instagram years ago years ago Never used it Posted a couple of bits Couldn't be bothered Yeah And then I'd say I think in lockdown

I did like two videos Yeah Should have carried that on Would have got loads more followers In lockdown Mate you would have done Lockdown was the time wasn't it I know yeah

So anyway I didn't do that And then afterwards I sort of just started Posting a bit more About what I think And you know Like normal bits and pieces and like you, it just sort of grew. So in that sense, I know that obviously people know me from television, et cetera. So that really helps, but I didn't have a lot of followers two and a half years ago. It's all from the videos and stuff. I just find it really interesting,

really interesting, the whole thing. Yeah. It's fascinating. Obviously we've got TikTok now haven't we which that was quite new back then I can't do it Vic see I am on TikTok so I was never engaged in it because I found it so overwhelming definitely there's a younger crowd over there so I do feel like a little geriatric nan whenever I do anything but the last like eight months I've really started to use it and you can grow. So you should definitely get on there. You will grow so quickly on there. So going on from that, I'll tell you what I want to really pick your brain about.

Yeah. I think there's loads and loads of people who will be listening to this. And what I wanted to say, loads and loads of times in my life, I go, oh yeah, I'd really like to do that. I've got an idea for a business and I'd really like to do that. I've got an idea for a business and I'd really like to do it. And I never do it. Whereas you, right, you go on, you've got rebel retreats and you have fit bitch. So not only you do your social stuff, but you have gone, oh, I'd really like to do something about retreats. And you've done it,

you've followed it through. Oh, I'd really like to do something about retreats and you've done it you've followed it through oh I'd really like to do something about fitness and you've done it and I think people would be really really interested I'm interested to know when you have an idea how are you brave enough to follow it through and kind of just know what to do oh my I do not know what I'm doing let me just put that right out there now well you do because you've got you know what I mean you've got two things going on yeah so I have got yes I've got two things going on so I think you know the thing with being on Instagram professionally yeah so the way it works for me is that I've got an agent people are always like how do you make money at social media then I do brand deals so you know a brand will come to my agent and say I've seen your own summers videos.

Oh, yes. Oh, hello. I tell you what, I get sex toys all the time. It's hilarious. I don't know what that says about me, but, you know, I'm up for it because I get so much sex toys. Hey, I'll do it. Happy days. So that is sort of like my, yeah, my core employment, I suppose, if you want to call it that. Yeah. But what I feel is really difficult in the space of comedy, because that's kind of probably where I sit, right? I don't know what other genre to put me in. Because I am a mum and all my content's about like parenting, but I'm not a mumfluencer in the traditional sense. You know, I'm like the opposite of that almost so I would imagine I mean we listen we're diverting here but there's too much to talk about it's fine we'll go back to the business

whilst we will whilst we're on this how many hateful messages do you receive by Mary Poppins-esque mums which which is nothing wrong with that people, right? We want to be who we want to be. But I am worried about just people who feel that they can, you know, just tell people how they should be. I mean, look, many, I'm sure you get it too. Like, you know, if you're in the space, if you're on social media, like you're just going to get it.

It's part and parcel of it. But I think these days it used to really affect me on a personal level yeah and I would feel quite wounded sometimes by some of the stuff that people would say but these days I'm just a hardened bitch I just don't can I show you my sign go on what does it say I love this what people think of you is none of your business. Exactly. Yes, right. That is it. That is exactly it. And I think you've just got to ignore it. You know, there's, there's no other way around it. You have to ignore it because those people that messaging, if it gets in your head, it can make you feel so self-conscious and so like doubting of your ability whether you're

good enough to be in that space you're worth all of that stuff and then that is just going to prevent you from creating from absolutely whatever it is that you're doing you have to block it out I always just think you know they don't actually know who I am. So they're entitled to that opinion. That's fine. You can have it, but it's not a true reflection because they don't know me. They know a very small part of me, the bit that I choose to put online. So this is it. And that's as a creative, it's kind of the real you, but it's only a snippet and a slice of you, which is kind of the outrageous, outspoken swearing you know you're not gonna I can't imagine coming to your house and you're being like that 24 hours a day

absolutely not kids no I'm sure you go out with your kids you're a great mum you go for lunch you do nice things yeah but I love the fact that you've gone for that kind of outrageous funny yeah take on motherhood yes it helps me it helps me to deal with it I really feel that um all of the difficult stuff if there's humor involved it just makes it that much easier to sort of deal with and as much as it's feels like for people watching they feel like they're seen and they're heard and they feel validated I think it's a two-way street for me like me putting that out there and hearing those other women echo my experiences it's doing the same thing for me so in that sense it's just a really lovely you know

exchange of love and support minus the dickheads you know yeah minus those but it's a community and yeah like you say it can be a difficult place and you can get rubbish on there. But I think if you don't read the rubbish, you know, I don't read all of the good and I don't read all of the bad. No, exactly. It's like reviews. You know, if you do a play, you don't read the good reviews because you have to read the bad reviews. So I think you just got to do what you enjoy. As long as you're happy with what you're doing in life, you cannot worry about other people's opinions no and that's how I live my life exactly and you know I think so much the time those people are just projecting their own shit onto you anyway it's not actually about you it's about

their own insecurity and you're obviously just triggering something in them and they do feel that it's just an easy way to vent that I would definitely say though that I feel that social media especially over the last couple of years has become a lot more toxic with that kind of negative messaging people leaving really horrific comments dms that kind of thing really definitely not not so much directed at me but I think when I look at like other people's content I think some people just get it so bad. And it's like that. It's almost like because people are just doing it all the time, it's become almost normalized to be a bit of a dickhead and to not think about what you're writing. And also, there's no bloody consequences there. So that's true. nothing really happens so it's just this space where hatred is allowed to flow freely but luckily I would say you know having spoken to a lot of other people that work in this space I don't

think I get it that bad if I'm totally honest I have to say genuinely I can't believe I'm saying this but if I go into any of my direct messaging or comments, I reckon I get a negative comment, I don't know, once or twice a month. Really? I mean, it's really, really, mine is a nice space. Yeah. Which I'm absolutely so grateful for. Yeah.

That's excellent. Yeah. It is. It is good. But again, I think that helps with growing up on telly and you know people have seen me for a very long time and our age of what yeah I was 10 going on the telly so they've kind of grown up with me yeah that's how I feel yeah do you I do that's what's so strange about like this and coming on here and meeting you it's like you're to me you're a national treasure that's how I'll describe you

that's what I said to my husband earlier I was like fucking hell you're a national treasure that's how i'll describe you that's what i said to my husband earlier i was like fucking a cat stone she's a national treasure but you are certainly for like yeah oh it's like our generation this age and you know you're an icon sweetheart you're an icon very very kind of you very very kind so we'll go back to business go back to business so i want to know when you go I've got an idea and how you get that from paper to actually doing a retreat so I think the the motivation because I'm sort of like comedy space but this is the thing I think a lot of people that are in this space the natural progression from being online is to go on stage right so go do stand up that's I've seen that happen to a lot of the creators that I follow

over the years they're now all doing stand up doing tools don't you fancy it fuck that right because I am such an introvert which I know like people be like what that I I really am and I'm very shy so shy that is hang on we've got to talk about that because you even I go what not that shy are you if you flaps out and the fridge open and your spaniel ears hanging out come on that's shy but this is the difference between standing up in front of an audience and doing it at home I'm alone I'm on my own I'm never performing in front of an audience the second I'm stood in front of a group of people, I basically shit myself, literally, and just clam up. And I'm like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and just have a panic attack.

Vic, when I did Strictly Come Dancing, right, I did Strictly. Yeah. I am an extremely nervous person as well. Yeah. Like really bad. It's really, really bad. What were your pains like, mate? No, no, I can't even talk about

that genuinely but my mouth goes so dry when i'm nervous so i do my dance and then you'd have len and bruce and whatever and i think this and i go and they give me my scores they give me my scores they'd give me my scores and I'd go thank you I couldn't talk that was so funny I was so dry like sandpaper so I do know what you mean because people will say to me what do you mean you're shy

my legs go to jelly I did a play once I did a play first person on stage is a servant Chichester Dun Yasha if you don't mind in the cherry orchard

come on stage I had to light a fucking candle oh god don't give her a prop that would be me i do know i do know where you're coming from honestly it's i've always been like that i can remember auditioning for the school play in year seven and i actually pissed my pants like literally pissed myself on the stage like that's how horrific is I've just always been very shy but but then if you get to know me and I feel comfortable with you I'm an absolute gobshite like like I am online so like that online is very much the only people that would really see that version of me are my

really close friends and my like some of my family not all of my family but some of my family too like it's like quite uh yeah like a sacred thing to be like that with somebody because I have to feel so comfortable but then I think that's the amazing thing about social media is that it's given people like me who are actually deeply shy the platform to overcome that and I've done live stuff I do have a podcast as well with um one of my friends who I've met in social media yeah and we did a live so your pod is no holes barred that's it yeah amazing so we did a live show of that and oh I died like I just I mean it was great because I was on stage with Laura and she's so the opposite of me she's so outgoing

she's one that has gone on from being online to now doing stand-up. That's what she's doing. But it's just not for me. And after she was like, you know, it was great. It went really well. I was buzzing off my tits when I came off stage. But now when she's like, do you want to do it again?

I'm just like, not really. Because it's so much for me physically to gear up to that with the adrenaline and everything. I'd rather just not. So stand-up comedy was like, that's not a much for me physically to gear up to that with adrenaline and everything I'd rather just not so comedy stand-up comedy was like that's not a route for me no but I think I'm very aware that social media is a changing place it changes so quickly and I want something that is my own that pulls together all of my values particularly about supporting women because that is a big thing for me even though it's like through lols and funny jokes that is yeah yeah

the underlying sort of core of why I'm doing what I'm doing and it was like well what's the what's the place like what do I where do I put that how do I sort of create that into something that's going to support women um and just be something lovely for women to do that's like they're the focus so the rebel mums uh the rebel retreat sorry because it was rebel mums it's now rebel retreats because we open it up to all women so that was just like who doesn't want to have a break from their kids you know and I think traditional yoga retreats can be a little bit if you're not into that world you're not into yoga they can be quite hard to access this is a very polite way of saying

that they're a bit airy-fairy I think so also I feel I'd be quite daunted going to one of those I'm not a yogi no I think they look amazing but I would feel really out of place going to one of those. Exactly. Yeah, so would I. And I have been to a couple of them and I'm too much of a cynical bitch for that stuff. You know, like I just, I can't quite let go of my cynicism. Yeah. No, I understand.

I understand. You know what I mean? I do. If I'm going to go for something, I'll go for it and have a go but I already know that kind of being in the middle of a forest with a silent disco whatever it's just not my sort of thing I think brilliant for people you know fantastic yeah have a great time yeah but I sort of still want to go and have a meal and a chat with people and that's it eat some good food exactly so that's kind of yeah it's like we want to create a space that's really

restoring what we're talking about needing to have that break all of that stuff that caters to I mean it is predominantly mums anyway that come there's a few non-mums but just giving them a space to come and rest with no pressure to do anything but not making it too sort of yogi heavy there's classes that you can do you don't have to do them so i was going to say right i book on what am i doing for the day so we have hot tubs that's just that's like a very key thing so there are hot tubs running all day every day so if you want you can just go and bloody sit in the hot tub and just look out some beautiful countryside we go to the same venue it's in shropshire absolutely gorgeous setting so you can just sit there you can lie in the lounges or you can just sit and read whatever you want to do you've got a quite

small apartments that all have their own living room and kitchen so you can be sort of as private as you want to be okay or you can come and be a part of the group so there'll be a class in the morning and a class in the afternoon and it's yoga and we also do uh some of the fit bitch classes as well so that's the fitness thing which i'll come on to so kelly's there now the yoga i'm coming on to there so kobe and olivia yes are they your yogis they're my yogis i went online i saw kobe I saw Olivia, I thought I would like to do yoga with you two because you are real women. They are.

And I would feel, thank God, I would feel comfortable doing yoga with them. Yeah, there's no, call it like yoga without the bullshit, I think. That's the best description of it. Olivia is my sister. So she's not that dissimilar to me, to be fair. No. And funnily enough, she's like way more confident than I am. Like she would love getting on stage and being in front of everybody.

But yeah, so she does it. And then Kobe, who, funny enough, we went to primary school with. So she's like a really old friend of my sister's. It's really lovely. It's really lovely. And they've like reconnected. And then we've brought Kobe in because Ollie's like seeing how she delivers her yoga classes and my sister even though she's my sister so i probably am a bit biased but she's such a good yoga teacher and i've been to lots

of yoga classes and just her whole tone the delivery the stuff that she says like i just find it very accessible and she's funny she's like brings a bit of bants to it and all the rest of it yeah yeah yeah they're the yoga teachers and then we've got kelly so kelly's my partner in fit bitch and she's been a personal trainer for like 20 years and her whole focus has always been women so working out with women she's done a lot of postnatal um classes work qualifications all the rest of it she's like professional expert i'm just there to i don't know i'm just there to be like yeah that's what i do so i suppose the two work hand in hand yeah but the fit bitch you can have a subscription online

right to access the classes etc yeah so Fitbit is like it's its own standalone thing as well yeah um so it is a it's a membership to a library of workouts we've got absolutely shit loads of workouts there and we have six week programs um for beginners advanced intermediate or the rest of it our whole focus is strength so they're strength-based workouts well when we get to our age this is it yeah we're losing we're losing our strength aren't we we're losing our strength like our bones are changing we're all going to either we're in the perimenopause or we're going to start going into it yeah and one of the best ways to sort of future-proof your body against the basically decline because that's what it is of aging

is to do strength-based training so that's our focus and we're very much about getting women feeling strong and um also just making it accessible because again i think so much fitness stuff is pitched just so wrong for like women our age you know and that whole idea that we still need to be doing hit right the high intensity interval training that is sort of actually not that great for your body these days like i'm sure if you've done it like do you not just feel this is absolutely battering me well i just like it's so hardcore what do you do what's your exercise do you do any exercise at the moment i've got a peloton downstairs have you yeah that's not been touched for about two months but that is genuine I've been really I know it is

an excuse I suppose but genuinely life's gone a bit crazy and everything sort of exploded and I am my brain I've got so much on my brain that I just haven't had time for it and whenever I've got an hour I just want to sit on the sofa I'll see the family exactly but i love walking with my mates i love going out and catching up and having a nice long power walk doing like a good 15 000 20 000 step yeah coffee good old nag mate walking is great for you you know it's absolutely brilliant for you i've got my weights downstairs and i know i know that weight training is the way forward and to to be honest, I do know what I'm doing. I did a fitness DVD. I know you did.

Yeah. So I was listening to one of your episodes where you're talking about that. So I was like, I wanted to ask you, what did you do? What did they make you do? What was the sort of exercise that you, what was the focus of it? Was it HIIT or was it strength? It was all HIIT stuff, really. Yeah.

A little bit of strength, not too much, few abs and what have you but it was all up a proper cardio yeah 45 minute cardio and that is genuinely when you do those things that is what you're doing yeah but you're doing it like once or twice a day every single day and you're not eating a lot do you know i mean this is it so we're like the opposite of all of this okay uh we're going to launch um nutritional support that sort of sits side by side with the exercise that's coming in september and we're working with a clinical nutritionist to do that so it's not just me and fucking kelly plucking shit out the air yeah she's like done a degree you know this is her forte this is what she does as a as her profession um but it's so fascinating

talking to her about food and like what our body needs and god that whole emphasis on like calorie bloody deficit i just i can't i can't i can't cope with it i just i just listen i think when you get to our age or any age really and everyone is i mean i did a kind of a foodie kind of couple of eps a little while back and I said I was going to just pack it away because I'm just fucking bored of talking about it. But yeah, I just think we need to move, eat well, but I need to have a treat, Vic.

I'm sorry. I want to go for dinner. I don't want to think about what I'm eating sometimes. I know that we need to be sensible. I need to move. I need to feel good. I need to sleep well. I've got to sleep well yeah yeah that's a hilarious joke I love it when anyone says that

I'm like have you met my kids mate sleep well I fucking wish I can't rectify that but hang on a minute your kids come on your kids are five and seven now they've got to be sleeping better now surely what's going on we've historically always had shit sleep with my two more so with edith my daughter than with oliver but like she just she wants to crawl back inside my womb that's the best way to describe it so she's just so like mummy mummy mummy all the time so yeah it's been a lot mate honestly we've had some really hard times it is better but it just goes through waves I think whatever's going on she's very sensitive little soul and so we do have like struggles getting her down because she's just she's a dickhead basically

and she just wants to stay up and it's like go to fucking sleep oh because the bedtimes have been creeping up later and later especially the summer holidays um so that's hard in itself but then she will often wake up in the night and she'll wake up at like one o'clock two o'clock and then you know what i've done years of putting her back into bed and you know doing all the shit i've tried everything we've worked with sleep trainers everything the two sleep consultants that we worked with both of them turned around and were like she's the most difficult child i've ever worked with so yeah so i was like fucking great well at least you know but that's good to hear also yeah because then you're like all right it's another bit of validation because you're not a shit mum that's it you're like okay this is my lot i've just got to accept it yeah

this is it yeah we've lent into it now and if um she gets up in the night she just gets in the bed and yeah that's fine you know but my son as well he he just can wake up really early but he's learned to put the tv on now so i don't mind because he just goes downstairs and puts the tv on without waking us up oh well joanie's seven so she'll be eight next week actually um she broke her arm two days before we went on holiday so that was a really nice mate i saw I saw that. Oh, my God. But what I discovered is how lucky I have been because she does sleep. She goes to bed, never wakes up. Easy, really.

She's an early bird. She's an early bird, but she never wakes up. No. And I think she started having a few nightmares after the arm break. Yeah. So I was getting, mummy, mummy, mummy, 2 o'clock in the morning, 3 o'clock moaning. I was shattered. It kills you.

Genuinely, you having that still now, I do really feel for you because she's now actually out of that. It was only a week. I was knackered, absolutely knackered. She kept coming in my bed, plastering my face. That massive, hard, like, log.

Yeah. I was like, okay, this is good. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's hard. It's so hard. It's hard when they don't sleep but then again you know this is the sort of thing that when I do talk about it online I get so many other parents saying that they're going through the same thing so I'm like thank god for that it's not it's not

just me because again it does they're quite old it does feel quite like am I the only one but I've got so used to it now although to me and my husband, this is a recent development, we now sleep in separate beds. Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah, so we got, because we had our loft done, so it's given us like a spare room and we've got a double bed in there. And that's really helped because when a kid does come down, they just get in the bed and you don't even notice

because there's not another person in the bed to like move over or whatever. Yeah. Oh, hang on Vic hello um it's my eldest oh hello how you darling what do you mean you got it from the car boot what do you mean it wasn't real from the car boot? What do you mean it wasn't real? What do you want me to do about it? All right, babe. Do you have to do that now?

No, I just wanted to test it. Yeah, all right. All right, babe. I'm in the middle of an interview. All right. See you later. I fucking love this. My Liz Earl cleanser.

Can you believe this is what you've got to listen to? But this is it. This is what I've got this to come, mate. My Liz Earl cleanser and you believe this is what you've got to listen to but this is it this is what i've got this my lizelle cleanser so funny one she's bought one at a boot sale on sunday adamant that it was real i said okay eliza yeah and she's had a breakout apparently another one the kids with the makeup and the cosmetics will blow your mind i mean they'll be on to something else by then but it's fucking mind-boggling i know like they're so obsessed aren't they i've got perioral dermatitis which is it's like a form of dermatitis on your face but you get it from overusing products and i have really sensitive skin some ginger so i've got really sick and i've done that to myself so you

can tell your daughter be careful what you're putting on your face i've just overloaded it over the years and now i have to use utter basic shit because otherwise i break out and have like the rash and it's horrible no i'm very good i do keep an eye on her and the lizelle cleanser does seem to be okay i'll probably get files and messages now yeah good for kids um but you know there's sort of all the drunk elephant stuff all that stuff yeah that's it i've on TikTok. You've got to stay away from quite a lot of these things. And she's good, really. She's not bad. No.

But there's, you know, a lot of people of our age, they're buying everything. I know. I can't believe it. It's the money. It's so expensive. Everything's so expensive. I don't even do that. No, exactly.

I don't buy half the stuff that they're buying. Yeah. That's social media, though, isn't it? That's the power of it. Just how much it influences people. It's yeah it is wild wild so you've got those two businesses on the go yeah kids are lovely husband's lovely what's next for you do you reckon well do you know what I feel like fit bitch for me is it's the thing that has really lit a fire in my belly do you know what I mean like enjoying it I was just I love it and the feedback that we've got as well from the women doing it it's just

so lovely to hear like so many people saying that they've never been able to stick to an exercise program before yeah yeah yeah um and that now they can and just even that in itself because I think there are lots of barriers to exercising as a mom particularly. And to be able to sort of like overcome that and give them a space where they can do it. And there's a sense of community too, because we've got like our Facebook support group where everyone is like messaging.

It's just lovely. It feels really nourishing. And I think that's the thing with, you know, that's why I've been so motivated with these businesses is to create something that is sort of like future proofed a little bit more than the social media. And so I don't have to rely on the social media quite so heavily because it's a very volatile space that, like I said said can change so quickly and so to have my own thing that I'm like totally in control of also that I'm working with a partner on with because doing social media is really you're on your own right I mean it's different because you go and film and you know you've probably got way more um opportunity to interact with people on a day-to-day basis

no yeah no you're right absolutely because i've got a lot of other projects it's not my soul that's just i just chuck out a video every now and again it's a bit of fun bothered yeah yeah but my passion project is this podcast is it really feel with your belly feeling excited about your fit bitch this for me has it just made me so happy doing this oh it's great. I love podcasting. It's such a brilliant medium, isn't it? Because you're just getting to have a lovely chat with people that you really like.

Yeah, it's almost therapy, isn't it? It is absolutely therapy. A hundred percent. Yeah. Well, that's why I feel like so honoured that you invited me as well. Because I was like, oh my God, she's asked me. Because when you messaged me I was just like shut up

so funny I might screenshot that and put it on the post-it when this is out on Thursday both of us had a love it I was like I love you you're like oh brilliant no but I do think it's really nice for people listeners to just you know we're two women we're 41 we're doing things we like doing we don't take any bullshit I just think we're very similar in a lot of ways and I just thought I was so pleased that you came on really really pleased oh thank you it's been so lovely I mean I feel like I could just chat shit to you for hours and hours hours I know well we can do that on whatsapp exactly but I'll tell you what i would love at some point to do one of the yoga classes with olivia or kobe or something yeah so that so i was going to ask you because

we're going to be having guests coming so we've got a youtube channel as well so so people listening if you want to check out the membership but also if you want to just come and do a youtube workout they're all free got a little library on there there's a yoga one with um olivia and then quite a few of me and kelly uh we make sure that our workouts are 30 minutes and under so that they can fit into busy lifestyles all that shit so it's fit bitch which is spelled f-i-t-b-t-c-h just put that into youtube and it should come up with us yeah yeah yeah but then yeah you can have a look at the us on our website as well

and read all about it blah blah blah yeah I'll pop all the bits and pieces all that in there yeah all this will be under the podcast link

okay perfect don't you worry about that don't you worry about that that's straight up don't you worry about that I've got it all in end got it all in end but I would I'm going to do that I'm going to go and do a little in end but I would I'm gonna do that I'm gonna go and do

a little yoga class because I just looked at the girls and thought oh you're so real and normal that I feel I don't feel like intimidated I think that's a big part of it isn't it being intimidated by the instructor balance that's fine so it's I mean it's not great for yoga and pilates I've got no balance at all but I feel like if I fall over doing that it's, it's not great for yoga and Pilates. I've got no balance at all. But I feel like if I fall over doing that, I won't feel like a dickhead. It's fine. Yeah. And that's it.

Like a lot of the yoga classes that we do, the focus is more about rest and restoration. So it's not like some crazy fucking, you know, legs over your bloody elbow. Legs over your elbows. Yeah, if you can achieve that, great. But you know what I mean? It's not like about backbends and all that stuff.

It's about the breathing and you're just yeah calming down your nervous system exactly because as obviously you know we're all highly charged at all times in this day and age honestly i'm due on and i'm sweating yeah and i keep and i said to mark he said you seem very i said yes i'm stressed I said I'm very stressed I don't know I have no reasons for it but I feel like I'm going to kill someone I just am see

there I get like that I think my reasons I'd probably be like what's the matter and I'm just like the patriarchy that's what's the matter and you

are a part of that you fucking man oh bless their hearts they're good really we're just different just different mammals very different yeah when people moan about their husband boyfriend whatever fiance they go he didn't do this or yeah i said listen you need to stop moaning about them they are different mammals to us they're completely different we're not the same they're never gonna be you they're never ever gonna be like us no i know it's completely different honestly yeah but it's so hard not to get the rage at them isn't it because

you're just like fucking doing the washing you know it's like so annoying oh brilliant well vick thank you so so much for coming on thank you for having me it's been a pleasure it's been so lovely everybody i really really hope you've enjoyed this today i've really loved every minute of it please send in your messages voice notes about what you think of vick and i and vick stuff i'll put all of her info at the bottom of it. 07788 201919. Let me know what you think. And that's it for Life With Nat today. Lovely to have you, Vic.

Thank you, darling. See you later. See you later. Bye. Bye. Hi, this is Chris McCausland. And this is Diane Boswell. And we've got a new podcast, haven't we, Di?

We do. What's it called? Winning. Isn't. Everything. Every week, me and Diane, we're going to be having a little catch-up on the back of Strictly, aren't we, Di? We are. I've missed you, Chris.

I've missed you, too. We're going to talk some nonsense, so why not tune in? Available everywhere you get your podcasts.