Life with Nat - EP55: Scraping the barrel #7 - The missing ep

Episode Date: October 28, 2024

There’s a lot of number confusion today. Recorded on Marc’s birthday last Thursday- Nat and Marc catch up on shopping bags, Halloween trees, pink lights and there are ALOT of birthday messages for Marc.. We hope you love it x Please subscribe, follow, and leave a review. xxx You can find us in all places here; https://podfollow.com/lifewithnat/view INSTA: @natcass1 We're also on Facebook now too: https://www.facebook.com/lifewithnatpod A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] SHOW INFO: Life with Nat - it’s me! Natalie Cassidy and I’ll be chatting away to family, friends and most importantly YOU. I want to pick people's brains on the subjects that I care about- whether that’s where all the odd socks go, weight and food or kids on phones. Each week I will be letting you into my life as i chat about my week, share my thoughts on the mundane happenings as well as the serious. I have grown up in the public eye and have never changed because of it. Life with Nat is the podcast for proper people. Come join the community. ♥️ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Visit BetterHelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com. Happy birthday to you happy birthday to you you look like a monkey and you smell like a poo happy birthday darling thank you happy first day mark It's a great day to be alive. I hear it's your birthday, Henry. Forty-five. You don't look a day over forty. Your wife's a little bit naughty.

Happy birthday, mate. It's nice. Really like that. Yeah, it's good. I'd like to hear it on radio too. Yeah. I mean, you've just got to keep it for, what, seven years and it's good to play. It says 45.

Working backwards. Yeah. That makes you 38 today. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm so confused. It's going to be a toughie, isn't it, this one?

Well, someone I was working with yesterday actually messaged me happy birthday today and he said, I'm actually really confused how old you are. That's what you've done to people. I am not responsible. Hi Nat, just thought I'd wish Mark a happy 40th birthday. Hope he has a lovely day. Loving the pods, especially the scrubbing the barrel ones. Anyway, happy birthday, Mark.

She thinks you're 40. Well, why is that? I think people are on a bit of a wind up today i think they might be by the sounds of the voice notes that you've put in our little group thing have you had a nice day so far it's been very nice it's been really nice isn't it we've been very lucky to be at home together it's been lovely i don't think you've not worked on your birthday for a very long time. No. There's usually something I do

this time of the year which always goes across my birthday. But this year it was earlier. Yep. So, lovely.

Off on my birthday. We had breakfast at Pierce's Farm Shop. Eliza took an hour and a quarter to get ready she didn't know she was going to bump into well

you know how trendy it is down there well yeah she might be after an octogenarian barber wearing yes yeah

a farmer she won't be doing bad cake her won't they Originarian. Barber wearing. Yes. Yeah. A farmer. She won't be doing bad. Keiko, aren't they? Well, I'm not sure. No, they have it bad. I know that it's not an easy life, is it? Caleb or Jeremy wouldn't agree with you, but yeah. I think what they've done is brilliant, actually,

to bring it to the forefront for the farming community. Very much so. I actually met a farmer whilst working on the dock, and I asked him, do you like Clarkson's Farm? Sorry, you were working on a dock? What were you doing? Documentary. Oh, I thought you meant like you were down down at the wharf oh on the docks on the docks no no but he he actually said i'm really really

pleased and i really like it which was nice to hear from a farmer yeah i was going to say real farmer which i don't think jeremy clson would like, because he is one. He's definitely a real farmer now. Yeah. Whether you like it or not, whether you like him or not. Absolutely. So breakfast was served. That was nice.

Then we came home. Yeah. You opened a few presents and had a little potter. You mowed the lawn, didn't you? Little treat for myself, that was. You look lovely riding around, though. A little beer in the sunshine. On my horse with the plough behind, yeah.

We have got a ride on Murrah. The garden isn't that big. It's a bit overkill. But it was cheaper than a push-along one. Bargain, that big. It's a bit overkill. But it was cheaper than a push-along one. Bargain, that was. Facebook Marketplace. Best, I don't know, what was it, 300 quid? Was it? That thing, honestly,

that was one of the best purchases I've ever made. Love it. Your mum said that hers has stopped working, by the way, earlier. I said, maybe for Christmas. And she said, oh, no, it'll be too much. But I was thinking maybe we could get her a little, not a ride on one. Yeah. We were laughing earlier at you on the ride on one.

She said, can you imagine one of those in my garden, big going round and round in circles? But it is in ours. Just. It is. Yeah. I mean, it's quick. It's all about the time.

No, it's a good bit of kit, that. Mm. It's not, and also, it's not, yeah, it's, yeah, as I say, it was a bargain. Mm. For the purposes of the pod, we've left your mum downstairs. Yeah, she wasn't having any of it, was she? No. Didn't want to come up, did she?

Really? She was quite passionate about it. Yes, I was upset. I think she, I understand her point. She doesn't want to be on it and she said, scraping the barrel, you know, if I'm in the room, because we were saying to her, just come and sit up here whilst

we're doing it. You can just listen and be with us. We're only going to be 45 minutes. And she said to me, downstairs a minute ago, she said, you know, sometimes you do say some risque things. And if I'm in the room, you might not. Right. Well, that's not true, is it? What?

I'll tell you. There is nothing I haven't said that's terrible English what do I want to say say it you know what I mean there is nothing

you have said yeah there's nothing I've said that I wouldn't have said with her in the room and she listens to it so what is the difference I think she just wants us to do it on our own.

Yeah, right. Anyway, we've left her downstairs now. I feel a bit bad. Yeah, I do. It's all right. We can go down in a bit. You've had some wonderful messages. Really, really nice messages.

Hi, Nat. Just got the message about your Mark's birthday tomorrow. This is Denise from Essex, but currently in Knutsford on the way to Edinburgh. Anyway, happy birthday, Mark. Not looking bad for 52. Ha ha ha. Brilliant. Good idea. It's good, isn't it yeah any others

leon mark this is mel from south wales i just wanted to send a very special birthday message to the birthday boy i heard through the grapevine that there's a very special birthday in the house today. 50 years old. Wow, what a milestone. I really hope that you have an absolutely fantastic day celebrating 50 years on this planet. Wow. Have a great day and here's to 50 more. Bye.

Then you got, Hi Nat, hope you're well. Happy birthday, Mark. I must say you don't look a day over 18 From a distance with my eyes closed Much love to you both Who's that from? I haven't got a name

Because I've put it into our group Fair enough Bit of a boo-boo What was funny is my mum's oldest friend Who's known me since I was born My godparent Actually sent me a card Saying happy 40th and i thought oh brilliant she's listening to the podcast you know she's having a bit of a joke but no i've told her she's devastated

that backfired i mean it doesn't matter but ironically she's confused And everyone has a go at me. It's not as bad as when Sally sent me a 50th card when I was 40. Yeah. There's 10 years difference and that's being serious. She was being serious about it. Yeah. She's only a while though. Excuse me? She's only a while.

She has known me a long time. You know. 10 years is quite a lot though, isn't it? What do you mean well I don't look 50 do I no that was good

that was quick wasn't it yeah it was good straight in on that bang on that note there's a voice note you should play in on the subject of

replying to your questions quickly hello Natalie absolutely loving your pod since Mark shared it on socials i've been an avid listener since day one it's fresh natural dynamic and funny i'm on about the podcast not mark just clearing that up um yeah scraping the barrel what else you've just scraped a bit of pure gold there as far as i'm concerned with mr sexy voice himself um i've known mark for probably 20 years now i'm

just thinking i don't think anyone said he's got a sexy voice but things I've known Mark for probably 20 years now. I'm just thinking, I don't think anyone's said he's got a sexy voice, but things mature with age, obviously. Sorry, not saying you're an old fart or anything, mate. You know, you're only 37. Crikey, we're fast approaching time. Don't I've got to go quick? I'd love to talk about your, the way you do your shopping with filling a shopping bag,

emptying it, filling it back up again. That's batshit crazy. Bloody hell. Oh yeah, when your fiancé says, I love you, don't pause and be a bit of a knob about it just literally just turn around say i love you too or oh thank you i love you too anything anyway this is fat mr tumble signing off hopefully i'll speak to you soon take care guys and thank you oh it's lovely so it's down to lovely tim that you've decided to get in quick he's helped you out with that is it it's on my mind now yeah it's good i saw him last week and he actually said that to me in person and said just a just a tip mate you know there was a bit of a pause on the last

episode i listened to which incidentally so you better clear this up, on the subject of getting numbers wrong. Yes. Well, the last Scraping the Barrel episode Oh, here we go. was meant to be seven. Yes, it was. But you put eight. I know, but I don't think I told Emma eight.

Oh, dear. So people are looking for this mysterious episode. Loads and loads of messages. Loads of messages from people saying we can't find Scrape in the Barrel 7. Why is there 8? So this is going to have to be called... 7.

I think 7 with 9 in brackets. No, that's... No. No. But what if we do 7 and then people are looking for 9? I think call it 7. This is an absolute

shit show seven the missing episode okay it's got a ring to it i kind of wanted to call it mark's birthday uh because of the confusion with numbers it all sort of gels together yeah yes apt some might say number confusion i'm going to call the episode how old am i today you're 39 thank you marcus galionos happy birthday to you 30 39 38 39 anyway whatever 40

I'm going with 40 happy 40th birthday happy lots from me Jack and the baby have a good one thank you

Elia just round it up well why not big 4-0 next year. We'll do something fun. 39. 41, according to earlier.

We'll skip it. No, we'll have a good time next year. I've got some good ideas. On the subject of clearing things up, you know, and us getting the episode number wrong. Yeah. I made a bit of a faux pas on Halloween, didn't I? Oh, yeah.

It's not, it doesn't originate in America at all. It goes back a lot further. Halloween originated in ancient Britain and Ireland as the Festival of Samhain, a pagan religious celebration that marked the end of summer and the beginning of winter. The Celts celebrated Samhain on November 1st, which marked the beginning of the new year and the dark, cold winter.

The Celts believed that on the night of Samhain, I'm definitely saying Samhain wrong, it's probably Samhain, S-A-M-H-A-I-N, the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred. Still horrible though, isn't it? It is. But sorry for getting that wrong. It was not until after mass Irish and Scottish immigration in the 19th century

that Halloween became a major holiday in America. Most American Halloween traditions were inherited from the Irish and Scots. Ah. So there we are. Got you lot to blame. This is going out a few days before Halloween. Mm-hmm. I believe you're around on Thursday.

Mm-hmm. Are you trick-or-treating or are you staying at home? Nope, I'll be at home. Thank you. Even if Joanie wants to go? Joanie won't want to go I think she might do because Amelia

Alfie Ruby everyone's coming over Is she going to go begging? Okay Yeah I'll come begging with you Well I might stay at home and scare people from home

Well For when people come here Perfect Go on. Nothing. That's what you do already. That's what was in your head, wasn't it? Sorry, who was that just speaking then?

That's what you do already. Don't know. It's just a voice I do. Okay. For me, that's my voice, is it? No. It's just a funny voice, isn't it?

Better than my own voice. I should use it all the time. So talking about Halloween and trees, you owe quite a few people a present. Why? At the moment, I've had so many messages regarding Halloween trees, Easter trees, and banana holders. Only two so far have made it properly through.

I've got pictures of them all. Yes. They're different trees. Yeah. I understood when you said same tree, different decorations. I spotted that. You're different trees. Yeah. I understood when you said same tree, different decorations. I spotted that.

You did spot it because the Halloween tree is usually black. Yeah. Easter could be another color, et cetera. So I get it, but we do, I've got the addresses here on the phone and we need to think of a present to send them because otherwise this is all bullshit.

We've got to keep to our word. Oh yeah. We'll send them something. Do you know what Mark wanted to send them because otherwise this is all bullshit. We've got to keep to our word. Oh yeah, we'll send them something. Do you know what Mark wanted to send you? A single banana. Yeah, try hanging out

on your banana holder. What's that look for? Someone sent a picture of a banana protector. I was wondering what you were going to say then. For one sink punt. I was wondering what you were going to say.

What could I have been saying? I don't know, but you were doing a funny gesture before you started explaining it. The banana. Oh, God. Go on. Carry on. Sorry. I shouldn't have interrupted you.

Banana. Stop it. It have interrupted you. Banana. Stop it. It's being recorded. Banana. Emma can see you doing that. Banana. Stop it. Just stop doing it.

Carry on. Very immature. Go on, you were saying. Banana holder. Hi, Nat. It's Emma from Bishop's Stortortford i haven't messaged you before but i'm loving the pod and have to say i'm totally with you on the decorations here are my trees for halloween easter and of course my banana holder i love a celebration and can't resist so

even celebrate chinese new year all of my family are english and we have no connections or reasons to celebrate also love to go all out for valentine's this woman's crazy i don't think you can say that you can't say she's correct oh it's one thing doing halloween and easter you can't go on i've had a few people got valentine's trees hey valentine trees pardon they put their christmas tree up and they hang hearts on it pink stuff lips why the wide eyes that's just a surprise i mean why do people do that why the wide eyes at the word lips because i can just imagine like this comedy sort of you know comedy store logo lips

yeah right okay I don't know what you're thinking of weird why would you have a tree for Valentine's Day it's incredible what people have sent

but there's only am I correct in thinking there's two people who have definitely got the free items with a photo so after we did that podcast i went into work and i was sat in the gallery and i was talking to uh my friend and colleague karen and mentioned we'd discussed this and I said that was funny like because we've got this

you won't believe this we've got a Halloween tree and she said oh yeah I've got something like that sorry she said yeah I've got a Halloween I hang stuff on it

at Halloween yeah so next thing you're going to tell me you've got an Easter tree yeah yeah I've got one of those right Karen have you by any chance got you're going to tell me you've got an easter tree yeah yeah i've got i've got my eyes right

karen have you by any chance got a banana holder to which of course she said yeah yeah absolute legend so uh so we've had the conversation recorded a podcast the podcast has not even gone out and pretty much the first person I spoke to about it next day at work actually did have those three things, which may be slightly concerned on the response you might get from the podcast. Morning, Nat. Loving Scraping the Barrel. Just a quick one.

It's Steve from Broxbourne. I've got a banana holder, i've got an easter tree and i've got a halloween tree the easter tree is up in the loft but i'll try and get a photo of it all today um yeah it's quite normal it's not not... It's not an out-of-the-ordinary thing. So, Mark, lighten up, mate. Sounds a bit miserable. See you later. Bye. Sorry, Dee.

Thank you, Dee. Did Dee provide some photographic evidence? Dee's got a present for Elia. Wants to drop it somewhere. Did Dee provide photographic evidence? No, not yet. Okay, Dee, you need to do that. She will though.

Okay. And she's only in Broxpool and you can literally drop the present to her house if you haven't got a post-it. Perfect. How do you feel about all of the owners

of the three items that you mentioned? What do you mean both owners of all three items? No. And Dee and Karen at work.

There's loads of people. I mean, how do I feel? Well, just do you feel a little bit silly about it now? No. No. I'm surprised. Yeah, I'll be honest. I'm surprised.

When we went to Pierce's this morning. Yeah. As you walked in, what did you see on the Halloween display? Didn't see a Halloween display. You're being really silly now I did not Oh some pumpkins I pointed it out to you

You probably weren't listening to me again I pointed it out and said there's a Halloween tree Oh I didn't hear that And then as we walked on There was a little Christmas tree Well I'm familiar with a Christmas tree I know what they look like Nice to get into the spirit of the seasons

not when it's celebrating death it's just good for the kids there's a statement i'm not overly bothered no no, no. That broomstick you bought last year, you just did that for the kids. Did it for the kitchen floor? Yeah. We needed a new broom. Not my fault it was around October time. So I went and picked your mum up, didn't I? About two. Then we had

Joni's parents' evening, bless her little heart. That was fun. That was good, wasn't it? Nice birthday treat. I was a bit worried because my knee's been a bit, bless her little heart. That was fun. That was good, wasn't it? Mm-hmm. Nice birthday treat. I was a bit worried because my knee's been a bit painful, as you know. And when we've gone to that school before for a parents' evening... What is coming next here? We've been expected to sit on a seat that's about six inches off the ground. Oh, I see, yeah.

Do you remember? Yeah. We have been to a parents' evening where the teacher is sat by a desk. Yeah. Which is 12 inches off the ground. Correct. Like completely normal. No reference to the fact we're on miniature furniture.

It's great though. There's something about going into a primary school, isn't there? And how small everything is. Well, we had a proper seat today, which I was very grateful of. Proper seat, proper table but it has been known that we've sat on like little you feel like a giant don't you

I just feel like I'm going to break the chair you know I'm quite short so my legs don't really have that problem but my weight is the issue for how much weight the chair can hold this is what i worry about i'm piling the pounds on here so it's defeating i'm quite enjoying it actually do you remember what your friend said tim about getting in quick

sorry i've did you say sorry did you say something what were you saying I said yeah I'm expanding by the minute no you're not I am I'm enjoying it at the moment I'm enjoying comfort food

I think it's hibernation season you know I think it's natural your body wants a couple of extra layers and I think that's okay I don't think you've put any weight on no I have darling okay yeah we haven't

the scales don't lie very nice from where I'm sitting oh thank you with your ring light that's another thing actually Anthony mentioned that it was it was Barbara Cartland had pink lights yes and I think he maybe spoke to you about that I think he did and he sent me a message saying it was Barbara Cartland had a pink light I never I never heard of that I was right about the pink light you were correct there you go and I think you're right thank you Anthony Brown bloody knew it was one of them hi there Nat and the podcast team it's Hannah here in Jersey big fan. So today I went to Waitrose to pick up a few bits I took my own bag and as I was walking around picking up my little bits I thought oh I might just put these things in the bag as I'm

walking around because that would make things a lot easier and then as I was walking around I was thinking no no because I'm going to go to the self-checkout where you have to put your bag in first and then click a button yep to kind of weigh the bag and then you can load the bag so I was like I'm going to have to unload the whole bag then put the bag down do it all myself and I was like no that's just a huge faff waste of time so I ended up piling everything just in my hands and I've sent you a photograph to show the kind of palaver that I was in because I didn't go with the basket and yeah conundrum I faced a conundrum because it was a faff so do I take two bags myself so that I can unload the stuff straight into the spare bag or just stick with the Bloomin' Basket.

Anyway, love the podcast. And yeah, I'll keep listening. Bye. What do you think about that, Natalie? As a convert to shopping with a bag now, which you haven't mentioned. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm it, mister. If I need three things,

or four, which can fit comfortably in my hands and arms, not that I'm balancing it around like a circus act, I will now go in, put those items in a bag, get them out

at the self-checkout, and grab them. Exactly. However. The same as me. However, this poor lady, she's got at least nine items and she's balancing them in her arms. It's not cool and it's not clever get yourself a basket or scan and shop scan and shop is the way forward people it's brilliant i load all my shopping four big bags

in the trolley and it's all paid for you get it to the end you scan it i don't know why more people don't do it but you have skimmed over the fact i've had a fair bit of grief on this subject for a while now and you announced last week that you started doing what i do interesting if it's a few items i understand what you're doing i don't do it i mean i'm not going to go and buy 100 items put them all into bags and then unload the bags don't need to be silly don't need to go over the top of 100 no i bet you've done it with more than three or four yeah probably maximum oh i don't know, eight items. Doesn't take long. But then I don't want to unpack them, unpack them again.

It's too many. You just whip them out. Put them back. I bet you do. Put them back. Oh, God. It's absolute filth, this podcast. Oh, dear.

No, it's not. It's like ath this podcast Oh dear It's no It's not It's like a It's like a carry on film You pull it out Put it all in You know like on the Unload it all over the Thing

You can't say that Sorry You're pulling it out And you're unloading it. Yes, on the little scales. To then load it up again. That's right. Just seems a waste of time to me, that's all. Yeah, it is.

But if it's a few items, a couple of items, no big problem, is it? No, but eight's a problem to me. Okay, right. It's only ever been eight because it's sort of, you know, I've picked up something extra. I don't know. Auntie Linny sent you a funny message today, didn't she?

She did. Happy birthday, Mark. Remember, you're only as old as the woman you feel. Oh dear, I've just aged you. Thank you, Auntie Linny. In the grand scheme of things, everyone else is aged you've got people messaging

saying I'm 40 45 50 because they're in on the joke there's a lot of people saying I was younger I thought it was interesting you know I've always wanted a name for my listeners yeah

Roro has hit the nail on the head. Okay. Yeah, she has. She's good at this stuff. Yeah. The lovelies. Because I don't stop saying lovely. Yeah, but you don't.

The listeners. But they can be my lovelies. Yeah. She also had a really good idea I like it for me her and Els to do an episode where we're live

and it's the evening and every time one of us because actually we all say it a lot one of those games where whenever Lovely comes up

you have to have a drink but everyone plays along we do it on an Instagram live it's a good idea that bit of festive fun yeah you'd just be saying it continually no no no you have to do it exactly as you would not think about it yeah i get very self-conscious though because i don't know i've said a lot i don't think you've said it much in this episode.

No, because I've thought about it a bit. Oh, good. I think you've said it in this episode. Probably. I just thought I'd wish Mark a happy 40th birthday. Hope he has a lovely day. Loving the pods, especially the scraping the barrel ones. Anyway, happy birthday, Mark birthday mark oh that's lovely

see just did it oh this is very nice um this is from nina in holland you'll appreciate this darling hi nat and mark just listen to scrapingraping the Barrel Eps 52. I do not have Halloween, Easter or Banana Tree. Mark, I so get you with this. Love to listen to you too. Love the pod. Oh. Very Dutch that, very to the point.

Sensible, intelligent lady by the sounds of things. Helen, was that? Nina. Oh, Nina. Where did you get Helen from? I don't know. Helen from Holland, maybe. Yeah.

Nina. Thank you, Nina. I bet Roger agrees with me. Excuse me? Roger. He'll agree with me. Oh, Roger. In Southampton.

All right. I pay attention to the listeners and their voice notes. Especially when they say you're sexy. Talking of sexy men, the lovely Tom Allen. We watched the Bake Off Extra Slice tonight, didn't we, sweetheart? We did. Whilst eating a piece of birthday cake that you kindly had commissioned for me. From the wonderful lady.

Yes. It's all about the cake. And it had a subtle marmalade flavour, did it? Yeah. Yeah. Which, coincidentally... Was on the Bake Off Extra Slice tonight. Mark's marmalade Cake. So let me tell you the story if you haven't seen it.

I went on Bake Off and Extra Slice. It's a spin-off show to the Bake Off. Someone leaves and they do a whole show all about the person that's left. It's Jo Brand, who I am a bit starstruck about every time I meet her. I did blankety-blank with her and we got on very well. And she's messaged me on Instagram. And when I saw her, it was kind of like acquaintances, but are we friends? Like I'm getting there. You know what I'm like with the comedians. And Tom was there and obviously Tom's been on the pod and I don't know Tom overly well, but again, I've met him at a few events and again, they're still in the distance.

They're still acquaintances, but I feel it's more than meeting someone for the first time. So I'm slowly chipping away at the comedy world. I'm getting there, guys. Have you got their mobile numbers? No. I've got Joe Lycett's, got Rob Beckett's, I've got Josh Reddett I've got Rob Beckett

I've got Josh Weddicombs David Earles Joe Wilkinson Ricky Gervais I'm not doing bad I mean there's a long way to go Why did you just whack your arm in the air and said hold on a minute

Because I was going to say me talking about cracking comedians guess who followed me on instagram this week um oh i'm very excited about that harry bloody hill do you know what that means are we there yet love that pod want to go on there that'd be happening soon but harry hill followed me now even if he wanted me on the pod even if he was doing a show and he wanted to talk to me about something you don't need to follow someone you do not need to go to the effort to do that harry hill over the years when he did tv burp did some fantastic montages of sonja I think he's a genius.

And I love him. His parenting hell is brilliant as well. Obviously. But yeah, he followed me. So I was over the moon. Anyway, going back, Harry Hill does Junior Bake Off. So we saw Harry, didn't we, when Eliza did Junior Bake Off? We did.

This is lovely. This is a lovely little bit of work. Little circle of life here. Going back to the Bake Off Extra Slice. off we did this is lovely this is lovely little bit of work little circle of life here going back to the bake-off extra slice they asked me to bring in a bake the celebrity panel bring in a bake if they've got times under armstrong from pointless lovely man got a children's book out very good he baked a lovely victoria sponge a little sunken in the middle, but a great effort. But he didn't use buttercream. He used clotted cream.

Bit of a cheat. He's a busy man. He's doing pointless at the moment. I know. In Studio D. He don't stop. No. He don't stop.

He had Tom Allen do the kind of hosting with him. Yeah. He's had, we did come on. Yeah. Hosting. I feel like I could do that. Yeah. I said to him,

Zander, you know, a bit more female presence, maybe I'm free. Just saying. You've gone off on a bit of a tangent. Well, this is what podcasting is for.

If you can't go off on a tangent on a podcast, where can you go off on one? Yeah. So xander did a victoria sponge and i had no time to do one did i um you i didn't well you say you didn't oh wow you didn't have time i had no time oh but you kindly stepped in and said I'll bake you a cake yes and the cake being the only cake you bake

which is a marmalade cake whoa whoa whoa whoa not the only alright but you didn't do a honey one you did a marmalade one okay I mean I've made other cakes

yes you have I okay in the last I don't know eight months I've pretty much only done the marmalade cake

but you've crafted it now but yeah to absolute perfection I just really like it I know you do no one else has it you bake it you bake one every week

so I said it I got it out I smashed it out onto the table lovely Miss Brand said tell us about your cake Natalie and I was very honest i said i can't take credit for it this is mark's cake he bakes one at least once a week and everyone tried a slice

tom loved it aj a doodoo well she couldn't believe how moist it was she said she's never had a marmalade cake what you're laughing at do you know something? This is getting ridiculous. No, because you clearly were trying to make me laugh then. Please go back. Guys, go to Channel 4, the app, or whatever it is on the telly, and watch the bake-off, an extra slice, and you tell me if AJ Odudu does not say, I can't believe how moist it looks. No, she does say that.

Thank you. But I'm talking about... It wasn't for comedy effect. Oh, right. Okay. Anyway, it was really nice to sit down tonight on your birthday and see your marmalade cake on telly. Oh, wasn't it?

Were you proud of it? Um, well, everyone seemed to like it. I mean, it's quite a basic, you get it out, it's a bit underwhelming. Yeah. It's a little tin, isn't it? Loaf, loaf cake. Tastes nice.

Really nice. I'll tell you who would like it. Paddington Bear. We've got to book tickets for that because that's out soon. We go to that Everyman and King's Cross again, I think. Have dinner. Oh, I remembered. We said the other night.

Well, the other night. Yes. Last time we did a podcast. Cinema. That animation with the little weird things that are in someone's head. It's like inside a kid's brain. Oh, inside out. Inside out. That's what we went to the inside a kid's brain. Oh, Inside Out. Inside Out.

That's what we went to the cinema for. I mean, you know, obviously lends itself to the cinema. Yes, Inside Out 2. That's what we went to. Fabulous film. I think I slept through about most of it. Oh, I cried through the lot. Eh?

What were you watching? I just cried. It's fantastic. Very strange animation, that. Pardon? It's just not very good. It's really, really good. Do you know how popular that is?

That doesn't mean it's good. Well, it is good because it is absolutely dissecting little children and teenagers' brains. And it is fabulous to watch. I think we're giving it a little bit of credit. I can't wait for the messages to pour in about that. Okay. Just saying. Obviously, I'm going to be wrong.

I'm wrong about most things. At least I admit it. I've been wrong pretty much most. Most of the stuff I've said, actually, whilst you've been scraping the barrel. There is not a wrong answer. There is. They're all opinions.

Not when you start saying Halloween's American. Oh, no, that's wrong. That's definitely wrong. Yeah, you mucked that one up. Yeah. There's been a few things. That's okay. It's all right.

I said Joan Collins wanders around with a pink light sue me walking under dog this morning whilst listening to episode 8 of Scraping the Barrel

would just like to confirm that you're not mad I have a Halloween tree an Easter decoration type thing and I also have a banana holder.

So Mark, get with it. Keep up the good work, guys. This is Vicky from Southampton, by the way. Just thought I'd drop that in for you. It's another one. No photos though, so no present, but Vicky's got the same. If Vicky bumped into Roger down there, then Roger would definitely say he's mad. Hi, Nat.

I just wanted to send a birthday message to your husband, Mark, for tomorrow. Fiance. Happy birthday, Mark. I hear that you're 40. I tell you what, you'll look well for 40 because you don't look a day over 25. Thank you. Does he, Nat? And I tell you what, you look really well.

Happy 40. I hope you have a fabulous day and weekend take care lots of love from Jane I'm 38 Jane I think Jane actually thinks you're 40

yes she sounded really sincere didn't she she did yeah lovely two sips of drink if we were playing the game ding ding

bing bing bong bong slurp slurp sorry Laura hi Nat popped on to wish Mark a happy birthday obviously he doesn't need any presents

as he already has you just to say I used to flip my birthday around younger so if I was 12 I became 21 you have to do it the other way around

when you're older so currently I'm 35. Haha. Have a great birthday, Mark. Love to you and all your lovely family. Oh, that was a nice one. So what does that make me? 83?

Yes. No. 93 today. 93? Mm-hmm. Doesn't work. It's when you get to a certain age which is funny because you were saying about the whole 41 and 14 thing yes with eliza listen to this i've got a message about this hi nat i love your podcast and i'm just listening to scraping the barrel episode 8 and you're discussing the birthday candles one and four and yours and eliza's ages

do you realize that in 11 years time you can share the birthday candles again a two and a five just thought i'd put that out there this will happen every 11 years you'll be 63 when she's 36 not that i'm wishing your life away isn't that fantastic good that. And you told me that the other day and we were thinking, really? Trying to work it out. Yeah, that's correct. Fascinating that. It really is. So when she's 47, I'll be 74. Yeah. Brilliant. When she's 58, I'll be 85. And that'll be the last one, I suppose. No, she'll live longer than 58. You really are a comedy genius. Thank you.

Was that a little short? No, it's just... Hardly. Coming from... Go on. Nothing. You are very funny. Funny looking. Nothing. You are very funny. Funny looking. Mm.

Pardon? Sorry? Fraudian slip there? No. Oh, hi, Mark. It's Alex here. I just wanted to wish you, one of my greatest friends a happy birthday so from me

and all of us at York Railway Museum wish you a phantasmagorical birthday so here's a little song happy birthday

to you happy birthday to you happy birthday dear Cork happy birthday to you yippee hooray yippee hooray you. Happy birthday dear Cork. Happy birthday to you. Hip hip hooray. Hip hip hooray.

He's a nutter. Alex Helfridge. Helfridge? Easy for you to say. Heldridge? What's his name? I'll just call him Alex. Or other things which can't be repeated on here. But he, um, yeah, Mark of the Sea. Cork.

Hilarious. Immortalised. but he yeah Mark Riversea Cark hilarious immortalised Romesh is quaking in his boots at the moment well actually that's actually from Mrs Brown's boys

say no more it's good yeah also there was a meme going round you know one of the

Starbucks coffee cups oh yeah and it would be like oh I've said my name was Mark Riversea and you know, one of the Starbucks coffee cups. Oh, yeah. And it would be like, oh, I've said my name is Mark with a C. And there's a photo of a Starbucks coffee cup with a C on its cark. Yeah, I mean, only people spelt M-A-R-C will appreciate it when I say, you know, we've heard it before. Let's leave it there. Let's not repeat it anymore. I've heard it before.

Don't say it again would be my advice to you. Can we just have a quick chat before we go about our dinner tonight? I think it deserves a mention. It was excellent. I'm going to go as far as saying, I've texted earlier this, and I know it's a big thing to say. Well, that must mean it's true.

I would go as far to say that's the best pub meal I've ever had. I know it's a big statement. That's a big statement. I know. I'm really thinking now. I'm talking about

going up the road eating in a public house midweek. Is it a public house. Midweek. Is it a public house though? There was no one in there just drinking. I mean, it was originally a public house. Pub and dining room, I believe. I mean, it was fantastic.

The Orange Tree in Sawbridgeworth. I'm giving you a shout out. They get very booked up. I asked about Sunday lunch. They haven't got a space till after Christmas now. I mean, this isn't going to help them. But it will. It'll help them get booked up.

Yeah, great. A couple of tables. Yeah. Shall we delete this bit? Because we want to try and get a sunday luncheon don't we it's all right i don't think the podcast is you know going to change change the bookings there's a really funny thing in the gent's toilet is there now on the wall there's a newspaper article in the Orange Tree and it was about

how they had so many positive reviews on Trustpilot that Trustpilot actually put some sort of cautionary thing on their membership No effectively saying this is a bit dodgy we never have this number of positive reviews

in this short period of time and thought it was fake they were cautioned and that's what the newspaper article was about it's a big statement to make but I haven't had lamb like that in a restaurant or pub

apart from maybe a cube of lamb in a Michelin-starred restaurant. And I'm being quite serious. It was delicious. It really was good, yeah. Lovely, lovely food. So thank you for having us.

It was great. Yeah. Going back there, won't we? We certainly will. And no service charge on the bill. No. Which makes me want to do 15% for someone. And excellent service.

Excellent. That was very nice. Joanie was extremely tired, though, wasn't she? want to do 15% for someone. And excellent service. Excellent. That was very nice. Joni was extremely tired though, wasn't she? She wasn't. We had a nice walk though. That does the job. And it's funny, she knows it.

So she wanted to go for a walk. To wake her up a bit. Yeah, she actually, she sort of knows it's going to do the job. Can I say we booked the table for 5.30? Yes. It's a very early dinner because Joanie has been rehearsing a play and she got in at half nine. She didn't go to bed till 10 o'clock last night. My kids have always been good at bedtime.

And at the age of eight, she cannot go to bed later than nine o'clock. Otherwise, it's a nightmare. She wasn't in the best of moods, Lessa, but she was tired. Very, very tired. This was lovely. Happy birthday, Daddy. Love you. Oh, bless her.

How lovely. Ding, ding. So what was that? A slurp of a drink. Good, isn't it? Wow. I mean, you doing that. Yeah.

Eliza doing the seagulls. That's like a circus. And I've got a beard. Anyway, on that note, I love you. Hope you've had a lovely birthday. Any more voice notes? I'm just going to end with this one happy birthday Mark hope you're not having to bake your own birthday cake today um I'm going to leave you with a little quote from Muhammad Ali who said age is whatever you think it is you are as old as you think you are have a lovely day see you soon um hi and when you're editing i found a few

more voice notes in case we need them for the birthday episode for mark uh i'm just going to play them in now for you no what i'm going to say is is uh we'll do a recording and um say something like happy 36th birthday 36 i think 36 yeahth. I think 36th, yeah, yeah. I'll just start recording it. Hello, Mark, it's Carl here, mate. I just want to wish you a happy birthday, mate. Working with you a long time and I remember when I was 36.

That's a good age, mate. You'll have a cracky one. Hello, Mark, it's Matt here. Happy birthday, mate. Happy mate happy 36 they say life begins at 40 so you've got a few years to go yet happy birthday the cheeky hi this is chris mccausland and this is diane boswell and we've got a new podcast haven't we die we do What's it called? Winning. Isn't. Everything. Every week, me and Diane, we're going to be having a little catch up on the back of Strictly. Aren't we, Di? We are.

I've missed you, Chris. I've missed you, too. We're going to talk some nonsense, so why not tune in? Available everywhere you get your podcasts.