Life with Nat - EP60: Auntie Linny #5 - Christmas can be hard!!

Episode Date: November 14, 2024

Nat and her sister-in-law chat about the festive period and why it’s not all jingles and twinkles. As much as they love the season, they talk about the strains of Christmas too. Lovely little catchup call with listener Debs in here too. Enjoy x Please subscribe, follow, and leave a review. xxx You can find us in all places here; https://podfollow.com/lifewithnat/view INSTA: @natcass1 We're also on Facebook now too: https://www.facebook.com/lifewithnatpod A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] SHOW INFO: Life with Nat - it’s me! Natalie Cassidy and I’ll be chatting away to family, friends and most importantly YOU. I want to pick people's brains on the subjects that I care about- whether that’s where all the odd socks go, weight and food or kids on phones. Each week I will be letting you into my life as i chat about my week, share my thoughts on the mundane happenings as well as the serious. I have grown up in the public eye and have never changed because of it. Life with Nat is the podcast for proper people. Come join the community. ♥️ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

well i have to say we're recording this thursday pod on a very late evening it's 10 p.m nearly and auntie lynnie saved me Oh I don't know about that No you're my hero tonight Oh thanks Thank you There was an ulterior motive behind this though I got to have an hour with the baby Got to bath him

Give him his bottle Oh that's nice It's worked out really well And I got my walk in as well Done a lot tonight It's actually better for you to come round here at 10 o'clock. I can get all my jobs done after I've finished work at 6 o'clock. I don't know how, I know we talk about this a lot,

but squeezing things in to a day, you just have to get on with it, don't you? Yeah, sometimes thinking about it is worse than just doing it. Yeah. It is different when you don't have as I've said before a family at home it's me and Dave and the dog yeah so I'm not having to juggle children do it to getting their dinners ready we're self-sufficient we can feed ourselves if need be that side of it is easier Natalie it is but even I just feel so busy at the moment.

And I thought I was going to have quite a time of it, but that's not happened. And I really feel, I think because I'm a little bit of a control freak, I feel out of control of the home life situation. Which is what you said, I think, on our last podcast. Oh, probably. You're struggling with the... I'm struggling with the kids not being around to make sure the homework's right, make sure what they're eating.

But Mark did a lovely chilli tonight for them, so they're lovely. And you've got to trust them. They're quite capable. Of course. I think you just, yeah, as you say, you want to take control of that. But you can't, unfortunately, you cannot do everything. There's a really true saying. They say you become a victim of your own success and that's a very true saying because when you're successful and you're doing what you're doing and all the jobs that you've got going on you can't you then become a victim to that because then there's

something something's got to give yes yeah you cannot. You cannot be the homemaker, the mum, the wife, the sister-in-law. Everything, yeah. There's not enough hours in the day for you. No. So it is a juggling act. However, you've made it possible to have more hours in the day by doing a late pod. So thank you very much. I wanted to congratulate you.

You sent me a lovely picture the other evening. You look very lovely. Oh, thank you. And you're holding an award. Yeah. So I am very proud of you. Thank you, Natalie. Aunty Linny and her team at Anthony Lettins have won a gold award at the EA Masters event,

which is a huge, prestigious property and estate agent Let agent lettings award ceremony and you got a gold award yeah we did amazing so shout out to all the team at anthony lettings as well because obviously without them yeah was it a good night it was brilliant mark who you know yeah and my boss anthony yeah the three of us went it's a day event great day out we went last year won silver and uh yeah we smashed it this year with the gold it was lovely and they raised a bit of money for charity this year sit down oh god yeah done properly um really good what do you think you changed in this year to go from silver to gold just i don't think we changed anything natalie i think we just

ultimately what we did right last year we've been consistent with in the last 12 months and that's been recognized oh that's really good yeah no it's really and isn't it nice to be recognized very much so yeah when you work as hard as you do very much so you know when you work hard yeah yeah that little pat on the back goes a long way yeah yeah oh well done very much so you know when you work hard yeah yeah that little pat on the back goes a long way yeah yeah oh well done very proud of you thank you obviously now i'll be telling everybody that you run the whole of uh estate agents and lettings in the uk i did listen to the pod this morning with your brother and apparently he's built blue water yes yeah dave runs barks and he owns it. Yeah. Yeah.

It's brilliant. Well, why not? It makes you happy. Your mum used to do it, so. Yeah. You have morphed into your mum, so. I was talking on my other pod tonight about Pam from Gavin and Stacey. Oh, yes.

Oh, Michael. Oh, my Christ. And then when I was talking, I thought, she sounded a bit like my mum. Yeah, there's similarities there oh come on Charlie and even the way she was yeah they're quite similar

Pam and mummy yeah it made me laugh we used to say the nan from Catherine Tate was your mum but no

I agree the Gavin and Stacey yeah Pam is it Pam yeah yeah and Gavin and Stacey oh my Christ

Michael Michael Charles Charles it's quite the same wasn't it and Stacey yeah Pam is it Pam yeah yeah and Gavin and Stacey oh my Christ Michael Michael Charles Charles it's quite the same wasn't it mimicking characters I guess

bless her yeah and your mum was a character she was you know I love Christmas all the listeners know I'm banging on and I'm going to do

some really we've got some great ideas me and Linny's daughters have got some really'm going to do some really, we've got some great ideas. Me and Linny's daughters have got some really festive ideas to do some fun pods coming up. And Christmas is a brilliant time of year. But I thought before we get into December and it's not being morbid, if you do find it triggering talking about grief and losing people, maybe switch this one off. But I just wanted to have a chat about how hard it can be it's a brilliant time of year but it can also be really hard for people yeah of course it's like any event when you've lost

someone be it a birthday be it a wedding yeah Christmas unfortunately as beautiful as it is when you've got loved ones that are no longer with you, it just draws on the heartstrings, Natalie. And if it's raw, if it was only something that's happened during this year and this is your first Christmas without that person, it's a very difficult time of year for people. I think it's such a magical time of year. Yeah, and I think that's what makes it so sad.

Very, and it's so nostalgic. You remember your childhood. Absolutely. You've got a picture of the perfect Christmas in your head, which is probably an amalgamation of many Christmases that you've had. Agreed. And suddenly the people that were in them slowly drop off, unfortunately. So it is a difficult time of year.

And money. I thought it would be good to just have a chat about just the stresses of buying presents for everybody. The bills are getting higher. The heating's coming on. Listen, I'm certainly not a politician, but I just think it's nice to actually, you know, have a little check in and just say it's okay to feel stressed at this time of year don't feel the pressure to be you know jumping for joy wearing a santa hat i think it's such a stressful time of year because what many people fail to remember is that this huge event

is upon us everyone is striving to provide the best christmas they can for their children or their you know their parents or whoever they've got within their family unit. But what doesn't change is whether you're working or not working is all the other commitments you have. Running a home, going to work, looking after children, looking after elderly parents, carrying on with your volunteer work if that's what you do, whatever it is you do, that's still there. It's not like something gives and it gives you time to deal with Christmas, the Christmas shopping, Christmas wrapping, the Christmas decorations, getting the Christmas food in.

I mean, yeah, I have to say, well well this year I feel probably I can't even say I'm stressed about it I've actually not done anything about it I've not bought a present I feel exactly the same as you

I don't know when we I've bought a couple of bits I always buy the girls some advent calendars or whatever because I like that I've bought one present and I saw something

really little silly little thing and it's yours what a little thing to wrap up for you and I saw something really little, silly little thing, and it's yours. What a little thing to wrap up for you. And I have not been anywhere to see anything. We don't like internet shopping either. Yeah, that's the other challenging thing, isn't it? Because sometimes when you are walking around the shops,

you are inspired a little bit, aren't you, with seeing something and thinking, oh, that's lovely. Otherwise you're just trawling through websites. I just don't think it's very festive no it's not festive is it it's actually a ball and i think on websites you kind of got to know what you're looking for because you're not just going to scroll through well it could be anything yeah ridiculous the world's your oyster on there but having i dragged your brother to stevenage yesterday because i had to go and check on a property, one of my own, I wasn't working.

And so I said to him, well, let's pop into the Marks's in Stevenage, it's a new Marks and Spencers. Unbelievable. It's unbelievable. Which is what's really unbelievably bad. They created this amazing store, but with nowhere near sufficient parking. Oh. Oh, so that was fun. Oh, yeah, I had to get out of the car and left Dave to park the car

whilst I did a bit of shopping. Just couldn't park. There was nowhere to park. Oh, that's a shame. Queuing to get into the car park. And it's not even, you know, we're still not in December, you know, end of November, December yet. Again, we just don't seem to have, we're not geared up for these busy periods,

are we? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I agree. I thought it would be nice to give Debbie a ring. don't seem to have we're not we're not geared up for these no these busy periods yeah yeah no i agree i thought it would be nice to give debbie a ring oh yeah should we just pop her on she might be asleep no i texted her earlier and said do you want to come on and she said i'm climbing into bed i said we'll leave it then she said no make sure you give me a ring i'll give her a call then we can have a little chat it's been a while hasn't it hello hello can you hear me i can hear you i'm so darling how are you all right sweetheart how are you i'm good

lynnie's here hello how are you darling i'm Oh, I'm glad. Good to hear you both. It's lovely to hear from you. I hope we haven't woken you up. Well, I was just finishing off that Until I Kill You. Oh, how good is it? I know you talk about it on your other pod. No, it's all right. Isn't it amazing? Oh, God.

She was brilliant, wasn't she? She's amazing, isn't she? Oh, God almighty. She was unbelievable. Yeah, she's a very, very good actress. There's not a show, I've already said, I'm repeating myself for next week, but there isn't a show that I've sat down. I put that on last night at quarter past ten.

I made you all that. And then I finished it at one o'clock in the morning. Did you? I watched all of them. All four. You binged watched that? Oh, brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. It's good, wasn't it? She's from Motherland, isn't she? Yeah. Yeah. all of them all four you binged watched that oh brilliant absolutely brilliant

it's good she's from motherland isn't she yeah and she was brilliant in that too

yeah very very good she's done some amazing things yeah I think she's absolutely great and Mark said

she just captured that character brilliantly well Debbie if you watch Debs if you watch the I think where

I've recorded it then it's recorded the um the real real thing yes well i've just that's just come up and i thought i'll watch that tomorrow yeah so if you watch that you'll see that she's really studied yeah the character yeah and she's yeah got a pretty on. She's a cracking actress, I have to say. Tragic, wasn't it, really? Oh, shocking. Shocking. Yeah, you know, tragic. But yeah, so I've just watched that

and I'm in bed with my cup of tea. Oh, brilliant. Oh, bless you. Well, look, I wanted to get you over soon and we will do that. I want to invite you over to the room and we can sit here and have a proper nag, but I've been really, really busy and it's been really busy, but it's so lovely to have a quick chat.

And I wanted you on quickly because tonight we were having a chat about many things, but we were just before the festivities hit and it's December and we all go mad. I thought it would be, it's nice to just have a little nod to the fact that this time of year can be hard for people yeah yeah in lots of ways now I think um I sort of surprised myself this year in that it it's it is a time for reflection of course it is you know you do reflect but I think it makes you reflect even more so at how lucky what you have got yeah that's how I I view things you know you do have your moments where you reflect on all your loved ones that have passed but you my focus is what you have got

the family that are around you the people that make you happy it's really what Christmas is all about isn't it and being thankful what you've already got in your life what would you say Lynn so true isn't it yes like everything it's so good to put a positive spin on it because yeah we it highlights that we need to be grateful for being here and being able to enjoy another Christmas with the family that are here and friends that are here. But also it is lovely to reflect on those that aren't. Of course, of course. And raise a glass.

I quite like on a Christmas Eve going off to church, and I'm not a particularly religious person, but it's more of a spiritual thing of just going and reflecting on the year that you've had and the positive year, please God, that you'll have for your future. And obviously, Lynn, you having a lovely new grandson, it's looking to the future, isn't it? It's a new generation coming.

Absolutely. And that's what it's all about, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. How have you been at home with your son moved out now? Oh, don't. First couple of weeks I was lost. I kept dishing up free dinners and having two of us here. Oh, don't.

But no, no, first couple of weeks was a bit odd because it was the usual, he'd come in at six, all right, mum, cup of tea and all of that, and me and Mel looked at one another, but I'm getting quite used to it now. We've already cleared his room out and started decorating. Oh, that's too bad, isn't it? No, it's taken you long.

It's amazing how quickly you adjust. No, no, no. But we've been down to see him. He's happy. That's all you can ask that you want your kids to be, don't you? Of course. You want your kids to be happy. That's his future.

That's what life's all about, is that they move on. It's a new chapter for him. Yeah. Yeah, it's all good. He's happy. And, yeah, as I say, we're going to get this room decorated and sorted. And that's how it is. What are you going to make it into?

A little craft room? What are we thinking? Well, my husband wanted it into his little, he's into his vinyls and motown and all of that he said oh i'll have that i said no you're not it's still gonna be a nice spare room what's your hubby called my hubby well his name is mel mel mel um yeah he's he bought me in a cup of tea and then he he's solid off in the other bedroom if mel likes a bit of soul and motown mel might have to come around as well and he can sit with dave in the lounge because he loves a

bit of soul and motel he collects vinyls he's mental on all of that he's he wanted this room as a proper you know and i said absolutely not when we move and you get a nice shed down the end of the garden you can do what you like yeah his man cave yeah absolutely that's talking of vinyl so yeah all good all good how have you been now i know you've been extremely busy haven't you are you looking after yourself yeah just about i'm absolutely exhausted but there's a lot going on but like you say instead of moaning about it you've got to be grateful for being busy so it's fine it's all good lynn what'd you say you're talking of vinyl no just reminded me when um through covid obviously you're finding things to do for being busy so it's fine it's all good. Lynn what do you say you talking of vinyls? No just reminded me when through Covid obviously you're finding things to do weren't you because you were

locked up indoors so we decided to clear out the loft and give it a good old tidy up anyway we found all our vinyls that between Dave and I we've collected over the years so it's quite a fair few anyway we took them out the loft they ended ended up in the bag, big carrier bag. I think Dave put them in the garage until he could find a home for them. Do you think we've ever been able to find all those vinyls? You're joking. No, I'm kidding. Where have they gone then?

I've got a suspicious feeling they've got thrown away by mistake. No. Yeah. Maria's got some. We gave Maria some because you'd – did you buy her, Maria, her record player? Or she's got the record player. No, she's got a record player. But yeah, she likes vinyl.

So she wanted vinyl. So we gave her some of ours. Thank goodness we did that at least. And they've, yeah, the rest of them have gone. So yeah, it's quite sad. So let him have his room with all his, well, yeah, it was devastated. I mean, yeah, they're years old. Yeah.

Collectors' items. That's really not like you or Dave either. I don't know how that's... They'll be somewhere. I don't think... You'll come across them, won't you? You will. I hope so.

I don't feel like I would have thrown those away. I think it's been done inadvertently. It's got picked up thinking it was rubbish. So let him have his room, Tess. So the vinyls are safe. This is an ad from BetterHelp Online Therapy. We always hear about the red flags to avoid in relationships, but it's just as important to focus on the green flags. If you're not quite sure what they look like, therapy can help you identify those qualities so you can embody the green flag energy and find it in others. BetterHelp offers therapy 100% online and sign up only takes a few minutes.

Visit BetterHelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com. I've got a couple of messages here, one of which I think we could have a good old nag about. I have a little listen to this voice note. Hi Nat, it's Jo here from Chalmersford in Eastleigh, just replying about your Christmas pod. I've actually done all my Christmas shopping and also wrapped it. People get a bit annoyed when I say that, especially my work colleagues. But hey, I've done it.

I've shopped in the Christmas shell last year and ahead of the game. This year, we're going to my son's for Christmas dinner, which is all new, as we usually cook the dinner. Going to be an interesting one, but looking forward to it as well. Keep up the good work, loving your work, and I look forward to hearing the Christmas pod.

Thank you. Now, I mean, that's organised, isn't it? Yeah, doesn't it piss you off? That's a bit annoying, isn't it? I haven't done a thing, have you? Nope. That's what I thought we'd get on to now. I've bought a couple of little

bits but i can't i think because i'm i haven't got the time but i have got that i'm lying i'm lying when i say i haven't got the time i've had a whole weekend and i've spent it with maria and the kids yeah so i'm prioritizing things that i want to prioritize i love christmas but i just haven't i don't want to go shopping no is bad? No it's not bad because it's not great the shopping, it really isn't Natalie I think going to London is different, if you can hop on a

train, get yourself to London go into the Selfridges or the John Lewis I know but even that, what are you buying people? I've run out of ideas Well that's why I need to shop because I get inspiration because then I see things and I think, oh, that's lovely. Yeah.

But who's got the energy, the time, the inclination? Deb, how many people do you buy for? Like, do you buy for all the family? I'm interested in this. Well, yeah, but last year was the first year me and Mel looked at each other and we both decided not to buy for each other and we spent it on a city break away in Prague yeah lovely that's exactly because we just we've got we haven't got everything like we're not millionaires but we've got everything we ever

need so you know nine out of ten times you buy him something he'll put it away he never gets it out again yeah um so we just buy for the grand, obviously the grandchildren, very close work friends I buy for, my cousins. But it can get out of hand and it just, you just think, what am I going to buy? What does she like? What does she want? I'm better off buying for myself.

Yeah. Because I know what I like. No, I know. I I mean if I tell anyone I want a hand wash one more time I think I'm going to be run over yeah or a candle

I know but it's so stupid but something you can use I put them in the cupboard yeah and it's nice when you need it and it's there all year round

it may be boring to people but candles hand wash a nice shower gel did you ever use a shampoo i bought you for your birthday using it now do you enjoy it is it nice you enjoy but i'm saying when you buy a lovely shampoo for someone you're not going to buy that for yourself agreed no exactly

and that's what it should be it should be that little treat yeah yeah that you would never normally just say oh i'm going to go and spend i don't know however many pounds on a shampoo you're just not going to do that are you no on yourself or a special deodorant or a nice shower gel or yes my daughter-in-law bought me last year it was so thoughtful i i do like my skin care and bits and she bought me like just a silk pillowcase and I was really touched with that I said oh I said I've been looking around looking around for one of those and she said I know you're into your skincare there there's your silk pillowcase and it was something that I just thought she's thought about that it didn't cost loads of money lovely and that's the nice thing isn't it to receive something that you know actually someone's put a lot of thought into it.

It doesn't necessarily have to be the most expensive. No, that's right. But thought's gone into it. They know you well enough to know what to get you. Yeah. I find sometimes I do this one. I pick something up and I go, oh, this is so Natalie or so Maria or so. And then I go, I think I bought this last year you've gone you've gone full circle yeah true no so I keep my list from the year before I don't repeat presents yeah because you tend to

find I don't know you know if you've got a friend that you know particularly loves a scarf I know yeah that you'd all bought my scarf last year or yeah I must say I've got to get my act together this year but I don't know when that's gonna happen oh we haven't even started and when I think about it we're just counting the weeks down at work and it's like is it five what we six six seven weeks away from Christmas six weeks but for you I feel like I said this the other day on Instagram the school term I don't know how because even as a mother you live through the school terms and just time goes so quick so goodness knows what it's like for you it's manic just manic at work and then you're trying to think where am I going to fit in a weekend to start doing Christmas shopping you know we break up right on top of Christmas this year. Is it the 21st, 22nd? I think we're the 22nd.

Oh, crikey. So we do get a bit longer the other end, which I prefer. So we're not back till about the 7th or 8th. Oh, yeah, that's quite good. It is manic. It is a manic time and it can be quite stressful. I was talking to a friend at work the other day who's really now anxious about changing her routine at

christmas she wants to have a quieter christmas this year she doesn't want the 18 people around for dinner that she's had for the last 10 years yeah i understand it she's come to me and said debbie what am i going to do i don't i want to do something different this year and she's become really quite not unwell about it but she's scared to say no because if you have a worry for me because it's such a big day you want everyone to be happy with what they're doing even i've had worry you think oh is tony all right i got linda and dave this year i didn't know if Tony was coming and I was waiting to find out everything now is solidified and I know where everyone is and everyone's doing exactly what they want to do so I feel fine but it really affects me when I need to know and people leave it

late and I like to just think oh I know where everyone is everyone's where they want to be. I've got David, Linda, Maria, and I've got Boxing Day Mark's family. So I know where I am. I know what I'm doing. And actually, it's quite quiet. It's quite chilled. And I'm really looking forward to it. Yeah. It's interesting.

I was thinking before you rang that when you're sort of younger and you have kids, how you sort of make that transition or go into one set of parents. And then I can remember my mum being quite upset when I had my kids and I sort of said, Mum, this year we're going to Neil's family. And she sort of looked at me as if to go, right it's like that then is it it's quite a difficult thing isn't it when you when you have to start sort of making or one year will come to you oh absolutely well I've got a message listen to this hi Nat loving the pod just seen the Instagram message asking for Christmas questions I've got a a couple. After losing my husband in August,

I'm not really looking forward to how different Christmas will be this year. Don't know if I should be changing traditions or keeping things the same. Also, we always alternate Christmas dinner, his family, my family. We obviously see both families on the day, but one for dinner and one for tea time. It just happens to be my family this year. And I think I would have chosen that anyway. But I don't know what I want to do next year yet. I love all his family. I'd never want him to feel that I'm taking his child away from him

but it's not the same and he won't be there. And I know it's a next year issue and I just don't want to bring it up this Christmas. So she's already worrying. Already worrying about next year's Christmas. Yes. Again, these are the trials and tribulations that come with I mean tell Debs what you do because you've got it you've done well you've sorted it out well so Debs the scenario you just gave was exactly what

happened to me having spent my whole obviously the whole time that I've had the children they've always been with me then they have their partners and of course it's got to be fair they've got to be able to spend a day at their in-laws and a day with us so what we did as a family bear in mind there's three children we made sure that that they spoke to all their outlaws and the, you know, the in-laws and said, right, so let's, um, let's work it so that all the kids are with me, say Christmas day, one year.

And then the fall and then the following year, they will be with me boxing day. So we always get to spend our Christmas together as a family, children, grandchildren. So this year, hence why I'm at Natalie's, this year I will be doing Boxing Day. So Boxing Day will be our Christmas day at the Cassidy's. Next year I will have them Christmas Day.

And that's how we've worked it. And it seems to be working. I think you've done really well with that. I do. Yeah. to be working i think you've done really well with that i do yeah i mean and if you think about it i know it is only a day i know i know no i don't know when my devs when mine come boxing day which was the year before last they came boxing day and i don't think they left till the day after can't wait to get rid of them no joking I think they stayed three nights but yeah no of course it's one day um it is it is but and yeah like you say you can

have a great boxing day you could do stuff Christmas Eve you know and that's what I would say to this lady sorry sorry, answering your question, I think your husband's family will understand that in future perhaps you can see them on Boxing Day or them on Christmas Eve and you want to be with your family Christmas Day because he isn't around. And I think you don't need to bring that up this year at all. You can broach that subject as the year goes on. Yeah, she's worried she's worrying about it yeah i understand she needs to just enjoy this christmas for what it is and it will be

difficult for her of course yeah and then next year you know like you say her in-laws will understand it's changed like i remember when maria went traveling i, I think we may have even touched on this before, when she went travelling, so we'd never had a Christmas without one of the children there. It was the strangest thing. So my friend Tina said, why don't we just change your Christmas all together? Why don't you come and spend it with us? So we had Christmas with the Waits, which was lovely.

And therefore it made it different. And therefore, I'm not saying Maria wasn't missed. No. Because it was a completely different. There was an empty hole. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And Natalie's mum in particular was brilliant

when Dave and I first got married. Obviously I didn't have my mum. I've got three brothers who were all single and my dad. And there was no way on earth was I going to go anywhere for Christmas without my brothers and my dad. I wouldn't leave them on their own. But we always had Boxing Day. And your mum did one Christmas and she invited my dad and the boys.

So people do, you know, and your mum totally understood that. She said, you do your Christmas with your family and then as long as we've got Boxing Day together. So that was our Christmas. So it worked. The person that's got the anxiety and the worry and the concern, I'm not saying they're creating it themselves, but because they want it to be so perfect

and they don't want to offend or upset anybody, they're putting so much pressure on themselves. I agree. Rather than just speaking to that particular person and saying look what are we up to this is how i feel yeah overthinking it sometimes overthinking what other somebody else's response might be yeah and and it might be absolutely fine for my kids to ever feel um sort of a blight oh i've got to have my mummy i've always said to my kids you ever feel sort of obliged, oh, I've got to have my mum here. I've always said to my kids, you do what you need to do. We're here.

You let us know what you want to do, when you want to do it, and we go from there. You know, you don't want your kids to ever feel obliged. Pressured, yeah. I've got boys as well. I think it's very different when you've got boys. I think boys tend to go with their wives. Family.

Family. I don't know if, yeah. You know, so I think it's very different if you've got a daughter. I do think it's different if you've got a daughter. But I'm lucky this year. We're going up to next week. You know, I've got them all this year, so that's good. But just, it's a day just it's a day it's a

day I know but it's Christmas day I know I do love it but for the stresses for some people have about maybe a change of Christmas or doing something different and they're scared to say anything no absolutely down you know it's a day and it's about just having the people around you that you love, isn't it? And want to be with. What, 100%? This is from Tony with an I, and she's 21. And she said, I've seen your message on Instagram about Christmas and I wanted to ask some advice.

I'm 21 years old and my parents have been divorced since 2006. I've lived with my mum since and I've only in the last year or so got back in contact with my dad. My dad lives in Ireland and my mum in England. I'd love to spend Christmas with my dad, however I really don't want to upset my mum by going as she'll be upset. It wasn't an amicable divorce and I'm an only child so she'd be alone at christmas it's a sticky one do you have any ideas for any solutions so what i'd say this is really hard really difficult again i know it's christmas day but you could tony you you could go out to see your dad from the 23rd maybe and have Christmas day with him have a couple of days and then say mum we can have boxing day we can have New Year's Eve New

Year's Day you know that festive period is special in itself of course it is and as much as your mum may feel upset I think she'll want you to be happy. And it might hurt, but it'll become the norm. And I think she'll be pleased for you to have your dad in your life if he's a good egg. Again, Tony's probably worrying. And she hasn't even had this conversation with her mum. No. Because you just rightly pointed out i'm sure you

know if it was i was in that situation and my daughter come to me and said i want i'd really like to spend one christmas at the very least with i'd want i'd be happy for that regardless of my relationship with him or it do you know what i mean so she probably hasn't so tony you need to maybe sit and it's 2006 they've been divorced so so we're talking about a while it's 18 years ago goodness me it's a while and i'm sure your mom will understand she's worrying and i get that but i'm sure probably just overthinking it again aren't you she might turn around and go don't be silly course you can go but look and you might think oh thank god for that i was overthinking and over worrying what someone's response will be.

But already, these are just a few messages we've received in a short space of time. Look what the concerns that come with this time of year. Straining for people. Then you've got people that have got to spend Christmas together and they don't even like each other. That's another podcast podcast isn't it well I tell you now I know Christmas will be better

than when Dave and Linda turned up on Boxing Day with the Crystal Maze board game because that was my favourite present ever I didn't say it in my last pod

with the girls and I was absolutely gutted so I've got to mention it now because that was the best you know you open

something I will never forget you bought me the Crystal Maze. How old were you? I think probably, I don't know, 10, 11. Wow. Crystal Maze ball game. Best day ever.

And these are the things you remember, the silly little things. Yeah. They're the most important. We had some lovely boxing day. We really did. So, you know. It doesn't matter what day. Exactly.

It doesn't matter the day. No. It doesn't matter the day. No. Whatever day you're together, you make it special. Yes. And don't forget, it's a Wednesday this year, isn't it? Christmas Day. I know, but after when the kids break up, it's what day? No day.

That's what I was going to say. It all intermingles, isn't it? And every day, you end up saying, what day is it today? What day is it? That's it. So, yeah yeah it's a nice and people are working there's many people working on that day of course of course there are i've got a message here actually i haven't got his or her name i'm so sorry but you'll know who you are hi loving the pod i work every christmas in a nursing home i dress up in full attire and absolutely love spending time with residents

and the visits from their families it makes their day that little bit brighter and puts a smile on their face that's lovely that's just so lovely i used to have a client who did something similar she would go to the local school in hartford use their kitchen yes, should get a host of volunteers on board, and they would cook Christmas dinner for anyone that was on their own. Yeah, brilliant. Oh, a lovely thing to do. How lovely. Really good.

I'd love to do that. I'd love to do that. So when you think about it and you say, I'd love to do it, and I actually would like to do it, it's something you might have to tick off and think, that's something I want to do it and I actually would like to do it it's something you might have to tick off and think that's something I want to do yeah

even if it was kind of where I live and people are on their own yes because we've got a fantastic village hall it's got a cracking

kitchen in it yeah you could do it you could do that quite easily I love losing people because I'm sure there are a lot of people

on their own you know there are a lot of people that I don't like sure there are a lot of people on their own. You know, there are a lot of people that... I don't like thinking of people on their own that day. Nor do I. Nor do I. Well, there we go. It was so lovely talking to you. I'm sorry we've kept you up.

Don't be silly. Don't be silly. I'm going to make another cup of tea and then I'm going to have a little shut-eye. But it's good talking to you girls. I was just going to say... Debs, I was just going to say that. And you've just said you're going to go and have another cup of tea and I'm going to have a little shut eye but it's good talking to you girls I was just going to say, Debs, I was just going to say that and you've just said you're going to go and have another cup of tea, I was just going to say

how do you drink tea at this time of night and sleep? Me? Yeah. Me? Yeah. Yeah, I drink green tea Oh right but yeah, I'm a bit of a tea drinker so I'll have another cup of tea and then I'm going to have a bit of shut eye for work in the morning'll have another cup of tea and then I'm going to have a bit of shut-eye for work in the morning,

go back to the madhouse in the morning. Oh, brilliant. Well, enjoy, and I will speak to you really soon, Debs. All right, darling. Take care, little baby. God bless you. God bless you. Thanks, Debs.

Bye. God bless, darling. Bye. Bye. Oh. Bless her. Did we thank her personally for the blanket? Yeah, we did it last time uh

no we thanked her but we didn't thank her on the bloody pod we haven't spoke to her have we no oh debs love the blanket it's all right she'll hear it it gets so confusing you don't know if you spoke to people on the pod tell me whether you've text tell me You text. Tell me about it. Lisa says, good subject, Christmas. Why does the celebration start so early, like the 1st of November? It used to be the 1st of December when I was younger. Because by the time you get to December, I've had enough. People call me the Grinch, but please. Also, this Christmas will be the first Christmas without my mum,

so I'm dreading it, unfortunately. But I know she will want us to carry on doing what we used to do. Love your pod. You make my days better. I'm so sorry, Lisa, that it's the first year without your mum. And I know you're right. No, she is right, the 1st of November thing. Yeah.

Yeah, it's too early. I'm with you on that. We haven't had bonfire night. We have. No, but not, we're already looking at Christmas stuff in the shops. And we haven't even done fireworks yet. And then she's right, by the time we get to December, you think, oh, goodness. I know, the only thing I'd say is if you get to December and start it, you've got 23 days.

Well, that's going to be us. No, 100%. I don't know what I'm going to do. No, I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm absolutely panicked. Money, money, money. Honestly, I genuinely don't know what I'm going to do. So I'm saying to my lot, sure you don't just want money?

A little bit of money in the card? Oh no, you've got to have a present on. No, I don't think that's suitable for Christmas. It's practical, sensible. People can get what they want or save it. But it is about a gift. I know, of course. And you would always buy a gift.

Mine still, I still do stockings. I know you do. What are you going to put in those this year? Oh, my goodness. And they're big stockings and I can't even. Fill them up. No, Natalie, they're big. Why did I buy big stockings all those years?

Don't know. And now, so I do stockings for the adult children. I think that could. And now the grandkids. Go by the wayside, the adult stockings for the kids. The stockings are the hardest bit because i just don't know well i've bought a couple little bits already but i mean no one even touched sides and then the grandkids i've started sort of doing stockings with the grandkids but how am i gonna

it's not it's not doable no you can't do 20 stockings and then you've got to buy presents for everyone oh my goodness but what about you andlya said the other night, why don't you just give baby James some money for premium bonds? No, I've got to buy him presents. No. He won't know. He's four or five weeks old. No, I know. He won't know.

Well, maybe I'll do a couple of premium bonds, but he's got to have something to open. I know he's not opening it, but I can't do that. Yeah, but it doesn't have to be silly amounts no i'm gonna do maybe some little bath toys or whatever perfect little outfit i'm gonna put this picture on instagram what about this well now auntie linny and the rest of your beautiful family in regards to christmas i went out to work this morning i only left my wife for two hours and i came home to this. Anna from Stoke-on-Trent. She's done the house up. I'm going to put

the picture on Instagram. Fully Christmas. I would love that to happen for me. That I go out for a couple of hours. I come home and it's all done. That's the other thing. When are you going to do that?

I've got three trees to do It takes a lot of time As a president Now I've got to do it Now I've got grandchildren I've got to do it Yeah you do have to do it I thought I'd just go down to two trees

No But I can't No you can't do that It's a lot I don't know when I'm doing that It's getting it out the loft Well I'm thinking of doing it Sooner rather than later

Whilst I know I've got a day or two Yeah that's the thing. You've just got to seize the opportunity, haven't you? You know you've got a free day. No, but it's like another job. We've turned it into a job. Another huge business, that, isn't it? What, the decorating the bits?

Christmas decorations, doing the trees. By the time this goes out, christmas door will be finitoed oh at least you've got that being done so that's good and i bet it's going to be wonderful but it's going up wednesday so i don't know at the moment but yeah it's going to be pretty special they're going all out they're doing a different theme theme. Oh, wow. It's not traditional. It's a bit 80s, a bit nostalgic. I've multicoloured lights, a bit of glitz, a little bit kitsch. So I'm really looking forward to it. A little bit different this year.

They're still doing, they still. They do all my dolls. They're amazing. Yeah, really good. Yeah. Really good. Really good. Oh, well, that's been really lovely. Thank you as always. They're amazing. Yeah, really good. Yeah. Really good. Really good. Oh, well, that's been really lovely.

Thank you, as always. You're very welcome. Oh, sorry. We've got to finish with one message, I believe. I sent this on Facebook, but then I thought you might not read them. If you fancy a laugh. I politely asked my husband to get out of the washing machine and bring it upstairs so I could hang it. He came upstairs and said there was nothing in there.

I walked downstairs and unloaded the washing. He walked in and said, oh, when did you move it? We have a washing machine and tumble dryer next to each other and he looked in the wrong one. This is a highly intelligent man with a very senior job i genuinely believe men have different brains hashtag send help i said that i could have done oh that is a cracker that kind of says there's nothing to say to that no there's really nothing to say. He's looked in the dryer and not the washing machine. They look quite alike,

Lynn, don't they? I'm sorry. They look quite alike. And on that note, I'm going to go. Thank you so much for tonight. You're very welcome. Love you.

And you. Hi, this is Chris McCausausland And this is Diane Boswell And we've got a new podcast Haven't we Di? We do What's it called? Winning Isn't

Everything Every week me and Diane Are going to be having a little catch up On the back of Strictly Aren't we Di? We are I've missed you Chris I've missed you too.

We're going to talk some nonsense, so why not tune in? Available everywhere you get your podcasts.