Life with Nat - EP62: Scraping the barrel #9

Episode Date: November 21, 2024

Nat and Marc pop to their local for a well earnt rest. They have a chat to the locals and friend Brian. Enjoy. X Please subscribe, follow, and leave a review. xxx You can find us in all places here; https://podfollow.com/lifewithnat/view INSTA: @natcass1 We're also on Facebook now too: https://www.facebook.com/lifewithnatpod A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] SHOW INFO: Life with Nat - it’s me! Natalie Cassidy and I’ll be chatting away to family, friends and most importantly YOU. I want to pick people's brains on the subjects that I care about- whether that’s where all the odd socks go, weight and food or kids on phones. Each week I will be letting you into my life as i chat about my week, share my thoughts on the mundane happenings as well as the serious. I have grown up in the public eye and have never changed because of it. Life with Nat is the podcast for proper people. Come join the community. ♥️ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Visit BetterHelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com. Oh my God. It's nice to get out for a second isn't it it is nice to get out but honestly it is quite a difficult task i know i personally have to say i don't like coming home at six o'clock seeing the children children for half an hour or whatever, and then going out again. I don't like it. It gives them false hope that you're home.

You're doing a load of things. Hiya, you all right? Yeah, good, thank you. Yeah, you just, I don't know, you just feel guilty going out again. But you've had a very long week, though. I know, but it's best to just go from work straight to the pub i know because then you haven't seen them which again i

know it sounds awful but they're getting on with their afternoon do you see what i mean i do but you're wanting to record a podcast at the pub which is a lovely idea that's your idea well i thought it'd be killing two birds with one stone well it's quite nice because after tonight you're not anywhere to be seen uh friday i'm home oh yeah that's true and sunday i'm not around sunday oh yeah we're not actually going to see each other now. Kew Gardens with Julia. That'd be nice. The annual girly expedition to Kew Gardens, which is super fantastic.

Yeah. Thanks for the invite. As I say, it's an annual girls thing. I don't know why you get annoyed about that. Women only. I've got a question. Yeah. If we had a son... Yes? What would happen then?

I don't think we'd be going to Kew Gardens if I had a son yes what would happen then i don't think we'd be going to kew gardens if i had a son right okay i might do but it just works doesn't it because it's all girls right not that anything at kew gardens is girly it's just something that we do because julia's got two children that happen to be one exactly the same age as eliza and the other one gets on with joni so it's perfect isn't it mind the road it's all right it's going the other way it's cold tonight isn't it it's absolutely freezing the weather this week has suddenly gone it's so cold isn't it yeah pub looks nice Pub looks nice though, doesn't it, with the lights on? It does. It always looks nice lit up.

I bet she's not got the fire on. Yeah, funnily enough, I was thinking about that at the time. It looks quite busy. I can't go in here with a microphone, Mark. We look like a pair of dickheads. I'm not doing that. Absolutely not. I mean, at the moment, we look like we're reporting. Could we have a selfie for Instagram, please? Could you just do one? Hang on a moment, we look like we're reporting. Could we have a selfie for Instagram, please?

Could you just do one? Hang on a second. We look like we're... Sorry then, Mark. What did you think of the game? We look like football reporters. Not really. We do.

You'd have a cold... Or this is Moira Stewart reporting outside Parliament. I'm going to do one where I'm smiling. That was terrible. Okay. If I was doing the football... Sorry, we were doing the football Yeah

It would be a Coles lip mic Oh god Remember what John Watson used to do Right I've got to go I've got to go Bye We can't go in the pub I can't believe

That you think it's alright to do that No one cares I care I care deeply That I've got a microphone Walking into the pub But you're doing a podcast. I know, but I thought it was going to be a clip on one

and you've chosen to use these sticks. It's really odd. But no one cares. And the most self-conscious person I know, you're not worried about walking into the pub with it. Because it's so obvious what we're doing. Well, I can't wait to tell Elliot about this one. Oh, look, there's someone here to talk to.

I just can't. Hello, Bri. Good doorstep, him. Hello. Can you believe he wants to go in the pub with this? this one oh look there's someone here to talk to i just cut hello bry good doorstep him hello can you believe he wants to go in the pub with this that's weird isn't it mark we're doing a podcast at the pub but what i'm saying is do you not think that's weird no not really no oh fair enough why not i was gonna go so i might as well come back in you should come and join us lovely coming in kiss so what are you talking about then just anything interesting well we just thought it would be nice to pop over have a walk from home quiet chat a little drink and see what happens see how it pans

out well why not how's your day been not bad yeah yeah busy you look well thank you very much so does mark as well i was gonna pop in here So do you, dear. So does Mark as well. I was going to pop in here on Sunday, but never got round to it. Oh, well, you're always a blowout, you love, aren't you? No, well, earlier when Jack came round and had a bit of dinner, I ended up having nine for dinner. I was going to get over here, but never made it. Oh, right.

Yeah, I see Eliza earlier on in, don't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Good. Oh, well, never mind. Hey-ho, there we go. Next time, eh? Right, what are we having? Which one? I don't mind. I might have a pear cider. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'll have a large monkey with a normal tonic, please. A gin and tonic.

Pardon? You had to say that. What, a large monkey with a tonic? Get a free bottle of monkey. Perfect. Well, I don't know. I can do brand names. You know better than I do.

A monkey is a gin, isn't it? Yeah, monkey 47. Of course it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well yeah yeah well you say that i mean it's quite specific but we're lucky that they do it in here exactly very very lucky compared to a lot that i don't do well you know it's quite good isn't it well you got you do have an array of gins to choose from yeah we do we don't necessarily have to go for the monkey business. Well, monkey business. Oh, sorry. Are you interviewing him? No.

Just making it look important. Oh, don't worry about that. Now you've decided to do it, tell the gentleman what we're doing. We are recording a podcast. Randomly. Randomly. Randomly? Yeah.

About random subjects? We just generally talk about stuff. Stuff that happens? Yeah. Do you have anything you'd like to talk about? I can tell you a little anecdote. Go on. I went to Manchester today.

Yeah. I'd like to pick something up. I do a bit of courier work at the moment Right, right And I bought that bag from the BBC at Social Keys Yes So it's placed down in Sidcup Yeah

It's a big red bag And I thought, oh, it's Christmas Do you know what's in there? Go on Pudsey Bear No way I had Pudsey Bear in my van today Oh, that's really good

A Pudsey Bear costume from the BBC The actual Pudsey Bear. That is brilliant. There you go. And you dropped him off in Sidcup. Yeah. It was a long day. A very long day.

Well-deserved pint there. Well done, you. And well done for delivering our Pudsey safe and sound. That is a fantastic story. If I'd known it, I would have driven home with it on. Yeah. We'll get off with Ryan. What tonic do you want?

That one, yeah. That's Lorraine. She's fine, thank you. Yeah, is she okay? Yeah, she's very good. Good. Lovely. I've just messaged her and said that I'm catching up with a couple of old pals.

That's one of us. Who? Oh, you've messaged. So now we're going to be in trouble for you staying out longer. That's the one, yeah. Isn't it a good job there's no recording of the evidence I just saw Nancy walk past with a pizza Which reminds me we need to order some food

Yeah we will do that in a bit They haven't got the They probably haven't got half a dozen of them on there No I might go and Where's she gone? She's in the kitchen. I don't want a pizza yet, though. No, not now. No.

I'm just thinking ahead. It's quite nice and cosy in here, isn't it? Going back a bit, but someone sent me a picture of some viennetas, 99p, if you don't mind, in Heron Foods. Where's Heron Foods? Not sure. 99 pence on all flavours. 99p if you don't mind in Heron Foods where's Heron Foods? not sure 99p on all flavours so ironically

this story's kind of gone full circle because this all started with you saying they were 99p yeah and finally someone's actually found a Viennetta for 99p now I don't know where Heron foods is but it isn't just the funny kind of birthday one or you know limited edition ones that have been in the cupboard for

12 years that they've whacked out or a really original one no no it's an actual viennetta a proper one i wish you find out where heron foods is have a little look see any other messages very very busy in here isn't it for a tuesday evening well badminton club christmas do how do you feel about a group of people a collective having a christmas party um on the 19th of nove. Well, that's... Because you keep telling me that I'm mad, I've put the tree up too early. Let's have a chat about that quickly.

Well, that's what I was about to say. So, the person who put up the Christmas tree last weekend is asking me how I feel about a Christmas party. Yeah, because I think, absolutely, go for it. Well, we've done christmas parties before in mid but actually um yeah there's normally the one i'd go to the camera one it's normally around this time it certainly is where's your invite for that this year i don't know i haven't seen an invite maybe you've um upset someone oh. It's me not sleeping tonight. Heron Foods.

Heron Foods. Heron Foods. Where is it from? An English supermarket, chain founded in 1979 and based in Melton. Oh, hang on. They've got 293 stores. Never heard of it. I've never heard of that. So where are they based?

We need like a list of where they've got their shops. Chilled Stock. I bet some of your listeners know where Heron Foods is. Have you got a Heron Foods near you? 07788 201919. I'd like to know if one's near you. I'm going to ask Brian. Brian, have you ever heard of Heron Foods?

No, I haven't heard. Well, that's what we're just looking at. They've got a viennetta in Heron Foods for 99p. Cheap, isn't it? Unbelievably cheap. Where can you get it? 99p?

99p for a full-size viennetta. Well, I can't believe that. Viennetta's a nut. So I said, where are they? And we want to get down there. And since you started talking about Viennetta's, I've not actually had a single piece of Viennetta. If you're going to buy them,

you said buy them one, you might going to buy them, you said buy one, you might as well buy quite a few of them. I would never, I would never go and... Ice hat. Ice hat. I would never

multi-buy ice creams. That's crazy. Nah, stop it. Um, you, Brian? Hello. Why is he lying to us? He went to Costco.

No, sorry, not Costco. Where did you go to... Hang on. Was it he lying to us? He went to Costco. No, sorry, not Costco. Where did you go to... Hang on. Was it a Maxi Bon? I was trying to find the equivalent of a Maxi Bon. And you found them in Aldi? I found them in Aldi. And how many did you buy?

Tell... I don't think Brian knows the story. Five boxes. Of what? The equivalent of a Maxi Bon. Like a choc-icey thing. And he came home with five boxes. Why would you say five? There were more than five boxes.

There might have been. How many were in... Well, I can tell you. How many ice creams were in a box? Six. He came home... With 30 ice creams? No, no, no. That is absolute bullshit. No, there's six in a box and he came home with five

boxes no he didn't he came home with at least i reckon 13 boxes 13 boxes 13 at least who would buy 13 of something that's really odd well it's my lucky number it's just coming to my head it might have been about 20 78 ice creams all right car right, Carol Vorderman. That was quick. And not even one ice cream. I didn't get one ice cream out of him. I've still got about 10 boxes, so you're welcome. Next time you come over,

you can have one. So if you've got 10 boxes and you've eaten at least 63 ice creams over the summer, how many boxes did you buy? Be honest with me. 20. 20 boxes?

About 20. I don't know, I texted earlier. 20 times 6. Go, Brian. 20 times six go brian 20 times six that's 120 fantastic joanie could have done that yeah i could have done it i was doing it for the effect of the mathematician still not one ice cream how many times i've been your way you've knocked at the door with cards for people, presents for people. Exactly, and not one ice cream. That's bang out of order, isn't it?

Out of 120. And you've popped round in the workshop, you've been near the garage, and you're where the freezer is. Unbelievable. It must have been some other sort of beverage that Brian had, other than an ice cream?

A beverage is a drink, so what are you talking about? Okay, some sort of consumable that you eat. Don't look at me like that. No, no, he's digging himself into a half. Okay. Well, don't you worry, there's plenty of ice creams. Anyway, thank you for

the photo. Viennetta 99p in hair and food. Who was that from? Unfortunately, it was one of the messages that I've saved without having the name. And I'm so sorry. That needs to stop, really. It does.

It really does. It's out of order. Oh, you must have been supposed to find out who it was. By the time we stop recording this podcast, you could have found out who it was. By the time we stopped recording this podcast, you could have found out who it was. It's possible. I'll have a look back. I'll do that now, shall I, for an hour?

That'll be a good recording. Lovely. We need to eat some food. Shall we order some food? Yeah, let's order some food. What pizza do we want? What do I want? There's quite a lot to choose from.

What pizza do you like, bro, if you're having a pizza? Oh, here's a good question, because people go on and on about this. Are you a ham and pineapple kind of guy? I don't mind ham and mushroom. Mushroom, I like mushrooms. Can you eat pineapple on a pizza? I'm not a lover, but I will have it. Oh, you would if that was it?

If it was there, yeah. Yeah, fair enough. I would have it, yeah. But I wouldn't go out of my way to order it, if you know what I mean. Yeah, no, I understand. But then, it's not everybody's cup of tea, is it, really? No. I don't think pineapple should be on a on a pizza no there's a lot of

people that think that i love a ham and pineapple yes what would auntie linny say about pineapple being on a pizza i'm not sure i'll ask her though i don't think she'd be overly pleased and i don't think ellia enjoys that either no I'll have whatever pizza you want, Donald, by the way. You choose. A pizza a la Diavola. Okay. The old devil's pizza. Tomato sauce based mozzarella,

spicy salami and chilli peppers. Right. Could you get that could you get some chicken nuggets is Nancy in the kitchen chicken nuggets and a big portion of chips for us

ok and make sure the chips are well done because she smashes them in the air fryer ok I feel quite responsible being tasked with this

I always like it hot what are you laughing at? No nothing at all talk about the spices. No I know you are. The cheeky bugger. Well not all the time only when the mood takes obviously Right, Bri Our pizza's here Lovely to see you Thank you so much Nice to see you

Take care, mate I'll see you Next week at some point Yeah, lovely Take care, guys See you later Cheers, bro see you soon mate so our food our food's turned up looks lovely yeah it's not i mean she's done all right there i mean you say lovely what's the matter it's not take two is it we haven't got to do a take two

have we no oh no no oh no on. I've got to go. What? What's the text, mate? Are you coming home? You'd better get home now. I've got to go. I've got to go. You're going to be in trouble with Lorraine. Run.

Run, Brian, run. Run. Run. Right. Well, let's have some food, and then we've got some correspondence to do. All right. Lovely. Sounds good.

I'm absolutely stuffed now. Yeah, I've eaten too much. I've eaten too much of your pizza. I do love a chicken nugget, though. Where do you get those chicken nuggets from? Bookers. Bookers. Yeah.

I know that it's not the best food but I could eat breaded chicken in any form any night of the week that was lovely so have you got any messages for us I've got a message here which I quite liked

from Lisa in Derby. And Lisa said, Hi Nat, just sitting here giggling about you washing your smelly bits. I don't always wash my feet in the shower, but I don't have smelly feet and I wear socks most of the time, so they're fine. Looking forward to seeing you and Dean on the Christmas Bake Off. Totally get the frustration at putting the lights on the tree.

Especially if you forget to check them first and they don't work. But for me, it's shaping all the branches. It takes ages and it's boring. I just want to get the bloody thing decorated. Anyway, that was an essay. Lots of love, Lisa in Derby. It was an essay. We've got to pick it apart.

Firstly, do you mark this has come up before i'm not gonna i'm not gonna dwell on it just a question we're not gonna dwell on it when you get in the shower do you actively wash your feet with a sponge and soap or do you stand in the shower and think they're being washed just by standing um i've got those little gloves you know the scoury things yep so i give my feet a good rub of those every time you're in the shower every time without fail very good and yes the christmas bake-off i mentioned it on monday it's going to be brilliant you're right me and the gaffers. Jackson's back together for the Christmas bake-off. What more could you want? Who is that who wrote that message, by the way?

Lisa. Lisa. What does Lisa mean about you washing your smelly bits? Well, I was talking about the fact that sometimes I don't wash my feet. I'll stand in the shower and wash all my bits rather than washing, actually, my soles and toes. I just think all the soap runs down, that my feet are fine.

I haven't got so many feet. All the dirty water is soaking into your feet. No, I'll pick up my feet and I'll wash them under the shower. Yeah. And I wear socks all the time as well, so they're fine. Talking about Christmas lights, though,

the tree in the lounge, the lights are, it's a pain in the arse. Did it last Sunday. But it was really good. I had a good knack for it. And you can't put the lights on the tree without them being lit lisa so when you say especially if you haven't checked them i'm a little bit puzzled by that because you need them on to evenly space them out to know where they're sitting yes it does help

i guess some people do put them on without them being turned on i don't know oh dear but surely you're running the risk then of going to a lot of effort a lot of effort come on imagine that imagine doing four loads of lights i remember vividly the annual putting the lights on the tree when i was with my mom and dad oh yeah and you know it would be like the fault finding for an hour do you remember like you'd have to go and check all the individual little bulbs and there'd be you'd have to find the one bulb that wasn't working or blown that affected the rest of them yes people these days don't know they're born it's true they just come on the little bulbs i really remember

that you could buy like a pack of bulbs near christmas you do your shop and you'd get the bulbs to get another 10 bulbs ah that is something that's gone for uh forever now it's just easy now isn't it they just sort of work or don't work and if they don't work there's nothing you can do about it no so you've just got to bin that string that is true you all right nance yeah so nance is the landlady of uh the pub we're in at the moment she just cooked our dinner she's now relaxing with her what are you drinking i mean i say cooked our dinner no she did cook she did you make that pizza yourself did you make the base no you've got the base of the pizza and then you put all the bits on and chuck it in the oven don't you yeah

it's good and what are you drinking now with your pink straw it's very um it's almost fluorescent you usually like a slushy don't you lance classic landlady lovely though yeah brilliant we wouldn't have it any other way. Oh, by the way, it was Coral Palmer who had the viennetas for 99p in Heron Foods. Oh, well done for finding that. Thank you, Coral. What I did is I went on WhatsApp and just searched for Heron Foods, and a message came up. Yes, okay.

Very good. not yes okay very good what did you think of lisa's um apple holder well actually she calls it an apple tree oh yeah you know we've had the banana tree but what do you think about her apple i'd call it a pyramid actually it's quite thing. Now, why do you have that and not a fruit bowl? I suppose it's a bit arty, isn't it? I think that's horrendous myself. Describe it, I mean, you know, for the listener. That's a photo of... It looks like, you know where you keep bowling balls?

Yes. So imagine having a stand for bowling balls it's a smaller version of that with apples inside it yeah and lisa said that that was what was that in a hotel yes she works in a hotel and that's what they've got in the hotel very strange lisa i mean surely a bowl is what i mean that's a lot of apples to give away in a hotel room as well no i think you'll find that's the buffet i don't think there are 12 apples in your room okay jesus christ unless it's a fairy tale and little red riding hoods turn up with a basket take grandma some apples here's a good message what would you do if you saw this picture mark at a shop reusable shopping bag policy please shop with our baskets not a

reusable bag large bags out before checkout may be subject to a search. I think that's a bit extreme, isn't it? But again, I was thinking about this the other day when I went shopping. Yeah. And I went round the supermarket and I had about five bits to get and I did the infamous thing of sticking stuff in the bag. You weren't doing the shop? No. No, clearly not.

But I did think it's so obviously an empty bag when I walk in. And then I'm putting a handful of items in, which then the person policing the self-checkout can see I've removed the items. Now, this is true, however. I haven't got a handbag. I'm not putting it in with other items that I own. Oh, no, absolutely. It's an empty bag that I'm walking in with. bag i know but when you think about walking into a store yeah that's someone who's got to see you

come in yeah without anything in the bag then you're going to wander around the store well that doesn't matter because when i get to the till and i take the stuff out if it's any i'm not a magician oh what does it matter what you say that When you were talking about Tony, you go shopping. Yeah. And as you were saying to Tony, you get to pay, and they say, have you got your bag? And you think, oh, they're in the boot. The way I do it, I know I've got a bag.

If you were shopping, and you thought, oh, better take my bag, it seemed to me, when I go shopping, because I'm going to need them at the till. What are you going to do? So you're going to have a basket, and put loads of stuff in the basket whilst carrying like a handle of bags. Usually what I do,

if I have a basket, is I would fold my bag for life up and put it in the bottom of the basket. Right. So then that would sit at the bottom of the basket because I'm only going to get six, seven items if that happens. Otherwise, I'd have a trolley with all my bag for life.

Okay. Anyhow, yeah, so that shop doesn't let you do that. Fair enough. Doesn't. Where is that shop? I haven't got a clue. Not a Scooby. No.

But there you go. You've nearly finished your garden railway, haven't you, Mark? Sorry, when I say nearly finished, there's a lot there that you didn't think you were going to complete. You've done a stellar job. I'm very happy with what I've achieved in the last few weeks. Yeah, it's good. The weather's been good, so it's been quite nice. It hasn't rained much. It has this week,

but, yeah, I've done more than I thought I would. It's very good. Really, really good. It means I'm ahead for next year. Looking forward to planting it in the spring. It'd be nice getting some nice plants. Nice feature in the garden. Kids will like it. It'd be nice to get my teeth into something,

do a bit of a hobby over the last couple of weeks. First time in a while. Brilliant. Are you happy about our Christmas tree being up in the lounge because there's been quite a lot of talk about people thinking god what's mark going to think that the tree's up early it's too early it's too early it's lost its novelty and this is why when you have your i've had a few messages from ladies with husbands. They've said, I'd absolutely love to get my tree decorated,

but it's in the loft and I have to wait for my husband to get it out. That's why I put all of my Christmas decorations in a wardrobe, so I can get them out when I bloody want. Otherwise, if I was asking Mark, could you go in the loft now for my tree? If I'd asked you last Sunday, could you get up in the loft and get the tree?

Absolutely, you would have said it's too early. I would have done. Yeah. However, I have gone to the trouble of sorting out

the cables for the lights. You really have? You have. But it's too early for a tree. It's a little bit like hot cross buns i know you've got a thing about that haven't you yeah because that was a feature of easter i agreed and now you can get them all year round i'm not interested now because it's nothing special

you might as well i mean you could have put the tree up in the summer no that's not true why it's not true it's not the same it's getting What's the difference? It was heavily snowing on my way to work this morning. There was snow in the air. Right. What's that got to do... It snows in March. I had a hot Christmas on. Magic Christmas on.

Right. I think you're struggling. No, I'm not struggling. So it was snowing. What has that got to do with... It's six weeks to Christmas. Yes. It's not too early.

It is. We've had no summer. It cold it's dark why can't we just bring a bit of sparkle to life a lot of people there's a lot of people this year going early and i think it's because the summer wasn't particularly good and i think people are nodding at nancy's shaking her head my garden's still flowering for the summer is it but nancy would ahead but Nancy would you put up a Christmas tree now but would you put it up she's got she's got a Christmas gun some of the side did you put those up? Yeah, they've been up for a few weeks. What did you call them? A Christmas what? Gonks.

One's been up since before Halloween. Oh dear. Oh well I'm sorry, it's too early for Christmas decorations. Honestly, it really is. You're going to be sick of the sight of that tree by Christmas. I promise I won't and we've got other ones to get out other things to decorate I'll tell you what I forgot to do today

I was going to put the paddling pool up ready for the summer I was going to get it up all ready to go I thought I'd put the water in it by the time it gets to the summer it'll warm up that is really a silly analogy is it yes because you only allow the paddling on the grass for two days okay well why haven't why have you not yet put up the easter tree what was that i couldn't hear you it's a bit rowdy in here why have you not yet put up the

easter tree tree in anticipation? Easter's earlier this year. It's not in six weeks' time. No. There are seasons. I can't wait for... People are going to say you're being a little bit on the silly side. I get your point, but I think...

When do the Christmas lights go on in Oxford Street? They are out now. When do they go on in Oxford Street? They are out now. When do they go on? It was roughly two weeks ago, I think. They went on two weeks ago? Two weeks or a week ago. We were up there two weeks ago and they weren't on.

Well, I can tell you that I have driven to Soho Radio to do my other podcast Off the Tele, which you can listen to on BBCbc sounds and i have uh seen lots of beautiful lights in regent street and oxford street twinkling away as we speak mark is finding out when the lights went on oh it's nove November the 5th.

There you go. That's ridiculous. But that's to get you shopping. Oh. That is, even I think that's early because it's bonfire night. When does the Christmas tree

go up in Trafalgar Square? Yeah. Not sure. Have a look. That really should be a good benchmark, benchmark actually i'm interested wonder if it's up yet is it norway yes is it norway it's norway dating back to the second world war there's a thank you gift the first thursday in. Now that sounds sensible.

See, that's when our tree should be going up. I usually do all decorations and trees the first weekend of December. But I know that we are busy. I've put it up early for logistical reasons. And the fact... Sorry, hang on. I don't want to rush it. I don't want to do it all... Logistical reasons.

Yes, and I don't want to. What does that mean? The first weekend of December, I'm working, you're working, it's busy. So I thought if I do a little bit each weekend, it's not a huge task, it's enjoyable, rather than thinking I'm going to spend 24 hours now putting all the decks up

it's nice bits and pieces i would agree with you if everything went up last weekend i think i'd be sick of it all but the lounge is a separate entity i'll be very interested to hear any feedback from your listeners about this because i really think it's too early. Like really early. 07788, 2019-19. You know he doesn't like Halloween trees. You know he doesn't like banana trees. And he doesn't now like Christmas trees in November.

I love Christmas trees, but I just think it's too early. I said in November. We'll find out. Have you done any Christmas shopping yet yet done um yeah i have actually have you i have that's the first bit of christmas shopping i did was probably beginning of september wow and then the i bought a present for you about three or four weeks ago did you i did is that not a bit early to start thinking about christmas not buying presents no that's different that's hidden away that's not on show but um yeah you know about that because

i was all doing something and eliza was arguing with me saying oh yes yeah yeah yeah oh that's lovely i look forward to that have you bought any christmas shopping yet a tiny amount not much at all no that's sort of a no very unusual for me did i tell you about maria and how she's um having a look at designing me some merchandise. You did mention that. It looks really good. Bag for life. Life with Nat on there.

Little QR code. Dark green. Pink writing. On brand. And I'm really, really hoping to get some bits and pieces made so i can send some gifts out actually to my loyal listeners yeah we did promise everyone uh the people that had those well what i've done actually i've got the addresses of uh the people that had halloween easter banana yeah and they're going to get a gift for christmas nice and what might that gift be hopefully a nice tote bag, maybe.

But one is coming your way. I haven't forgotten, I promise. I don't really want one. No, not you. The listener. Oh, right. How are you getting on with my Christmasmas shopping buying for me have you thought about that yet it's very difficult to buy for you why is that because

you don't want for much well you're well clothed you have you don't need many clothes at the moment i feel like you've bought the stuff that you like you've been you know you've bought all your jeans you like you kind of know what you like your birthday's just been you've had a few nice bits there and our wardrobes are kind of bursting at the seams so i don't think there's a lot of room for clothes you need a couple of things some footwear is's needed, I think. Why's that? Because I didn't buy you some caterpillar boots for your birthday. So I think you might need some of those.

Yeah, okay. It's really, really hard to buy you surprises. Likewise. You are the hardest person. I am so easy to buy for. No, you're not. You've said that for years. I am. And every person I know that knows you says you're the worst person

to buy for every single person no everyone actually this is something i confidently can say i know i know everyone agrees you're a nightmare to buy i think it's in people's heads though no you said i appreciate everything i love loads of stuff. You said to me, speak to Eliza. Yeah. I spoke to Eliza. What did she say? One thing. Oh.

I said, anything else? I thought she was going to be like the dictionary of, you know, encyclopedia of presents that would be suitable for you. Oh, no. But darling, we're not going to go mad. We don't need to. No, no. We really don't.

It's not really about presents. And you want one of your engines painted a different colour. Yes. So sorting that out that's february that's being done pardon february matt's got quite a long waiting list so but anyway that's something you want i'd rather do things that you need and want rather than buy you a load of rubbish and it's the same with the children this year darling joni's really hard to buy for she doesn't want a lot she said it she means it i don't need much so i need to oh no well this morning oh no joni came in to me this morning yeah first thing she said for christmas um i'd like to get a dog I need to phone mummy and tell her

I said to her where have you got that idea from oh no I've been thinking about it I really want a dog where has she got that from I don't know well you're not getting a dog well then we can't

so obviously I said to her well look you're rabbits you don't really look after your rabbits rabbits are very different to a dog though I know that but they're still a pet

no of course so she's not happy with that she said I'm not happy with rabbits they're boring can you imagine

us getting a dog and what our children would do it would be worse than having no you can't we couldn't do that it would not work

it wouldn't work it wouldn't be fair on the dog no they need to be looked after they need to spend proper time with them

but she's got she's got a lovely part of the family though and they do get you out for a walk yeah but i mean i'm forever sat at home kicking my heels thinking oh i need to get out you know i need to go and do something i know but in the time say we have a day off you'd have to go out twice a day for a walk yeah most impractical thing. I mean, I said to her, like, you'll be at school. What's the dog doing while you're at school? Yeah.

No, no, I'm not buying it. I'm not having all that. No. But anyway, that's an interesting one that we had to try and sort out the last couple of... Yeah. There's absolutely no way we're getting a dog. No.

It's not fair on the dog. No. of yeah there's absolutely no way we're getting a dog it's not fair on the dog no way i'm a celebrity's just popped on the pub telly this program is absolute genius it is complete escapism absolutely brilliant you sit down you relax what's happening here look he's having a breakdown oh he's having a breakdown Dean radio one percenter it is absolutely

terrible I'm being funny here but he looks like he might be having a panic attack the poor geezer I'm not surprised he's just had

a load of stuff like poor what is do you know something I don't think I could do this Mark it's horrendous i don't know if i could do it never say never the one observation i have got about this program yeah

get it in your bag and that is that anyone that goes in and goes i hate spiders i don't mind i love snakes but i hate spiders well have a guess what every single thing you do is going to involve yes it would involve a spider yeah so surely if you're actually quite relaxed around a spider you should go in and say i'm really scared of spiders and if you actually are quite scared of snakes, you should be saying, I actually really like snakes. Yeah, I know what you mean, but I think... That happens all the time. Maybe.

It's not maybe. Yeah. That's an absolute fact. So you're saying when you have your interview to lie through your teeth? Absolutely. Because of course, they're not going to put you in stuff you don't mind. I mean, and also, the hilarious thing is if you did it, you eat all the weird stuff that they make them eat anyway.

No, I don't. You eat offal and all that disgusting... I love offal. Yeah, they're not going to offer you any testicles, are they, in there? Well, no, but I'd say, oh, no, I can't eat anything. I'd do what you're saying. Exactly. I see, yeah.

But all the stuff you wouldn't like would you come out there would you fly out with me have a little kip in the Versace hotel you'd be bored stiff wouldn't you three weeks

imagine that yeah I'd be working who do we look after the kids yeah we can't leave them on their own no well obviously not

no it's illegal no but without one of us is what I mean no Yeah, we can't leave them on their own. No. Well, obviously not on their own. It's illegal. No, but without one of us is what I mean. No. It is a great show, though. Absolutely love it. So what are you doing the rest of the week? Yeah, I've got a really full-on week.

Working a lot. Up until Saturday afternoon, actually. So it's been lovely to get out and actually switch off for a bit. Even though we're doing a pod, it's still really relaxing. Isn't it? Nice to get out for an hour. It is, yes. It's been ages since we've been in here.

Yeah. It's been nice. Nancy, when are we going to do a pub quiz? Well, I don't really... Do you want to? Really? Yes. Well, you say that like one's organised. It's not, is it?

I don't know how to organise one. So we can have a pub quiz but I've got to organise it okay brilliant well we've got a book you can just come in

with a book and a microphone I have I've got a book pub quiz book a microphone can't beat Nancy's comments bit of an EastEnders fan

bit of comedy just came out of there and we missed that we didn't hear what Nancy said go and get it Nancy said you don't need to come in here with a microphone

you should come in here with a trumpet exactly it's just what you want when you're winding down Natalie trying to play the trumpet what is your favourite

TV programme Lindsay EastEnders what's your second favourite TV programme EastEnders no Gavin and your second favourite TV programme? EastEnders. No. All right, Gavin and Stacey. Gavin and Stacey.

Good choice. Not long for the Christmas special. I know. You excited for it? Yes. So am I. I've got a question for you, Nancy. Do you listen to Natalie's podcast?

Yes. What's it called? What's it called? What is it called? She's lying. Nancy's putting her hands up against her mouth. She can't remember. I have listened to some. Have you got...

See, I think there's a lot of people... I'm really, really pleased that Nancy's listened to it, though, because I thought you wouldn't be into podcasts, Nancy. It's finding time. I know. I have to watch EastEnders first thing in the morning. I know. You're a busy lady. But you should listen to that, this podcast.

Go on your podcast app. I did watch EastEnders at six-something this morning, then went back to sleep. What you should have done is watch your EastEnders, then get up, pop your earphones in, listen to the podcast. You need to put your podcast on YouTube. Oh, because you like watching? Yes.

That's all coming, don't worry. Won't be long. Get more viewers. Yeah, it won't be long. YouTube is big. But if you were to go on your podcast app on your phone, do you subscribe to it? On the television, and it's in the background.

I get it. While you're busy getting ready in the morning. Some people like the visuals. Yes. I understand. I'm going to do a live one soon on Instagram, where you can watch me. me good me and the nieces with the cooking no we're going to test out some crackers some christmas stuff the best crackers

different crackers from different shops maybe a little baileys you know that sort of thing a little bit of christmas testing but i feel like you would watch that wouldn't you i think you need to do cooking as well. You'd like me to do a bit of cooking, wouldn't you? Yeah, I will. That was good. You like that, didn't you? In COVID, you enjoyed that.

Especially when you could see everybody doing their dishes at the same time. You like that? Yeah, no, it's interesting. Yeah, life's changed. Life's too busy at the moment. But yeah, that's good. Good to know you like that.

We will do that again. It needs to do desserts. Good to know you like that. We will do that again. You need to do desserts. No, thank you. Why aren't you going to do desserts? Because I don't eat desserts, so I've got no interest in cooking them. It's true. Selfish, I know,

but I don't really have any love for desserts. Desserts are the best. What's your favourite dessert, Nance? Cheesecake. I was going to ask you, actually, now that I've had dinner, what dessert could we get here? Stick it off your pudding. Anything else?

Bet you've got a scoop of ice cream knocking about. Probably. Oh, ice cream's in the freezer oh yeah perfect grab yourself a magnum knock yourself out there's a maxi bond in there there aren't many pubs you might spontaneously combust if there's a maxi bond in there there aren't many pubs with a full-blown freezer like you would have in a corner shop by the bar. That is unusual, isn't it? And a slush puppy machine. There is only a slush puppy machine

because Nancy loves slush puppies. She doesn't drink alcohol, and that's her treat. But it's on the counter. I know, I think good on you. It's what she likes. It's what she likes. Do you mind us doing our podcast in here? No.

Thanks, Nancy. Well, Nancy doesn't mind us buying a takeaway and having it in here. That's true. Don't tell everyone. She doesn't want everyone in here with a takeaway. But we did have a nice pizza with Nancy's and some chips and nuggets tonight.

Basically, a meal that a fussy child would eat. But I thoroughly enjoyed it. So thank you very much. Thank you for having us. Do you know what I might have in a minute a little Bailey's just to polish off the meal that's my dessert what ones you got oh no I think I've got loads of different ones now pina colada baileys no thank you it's not august number one well if you pick your tree up any earlier the pina colada baileys could could go down quite nicely

what is your garden flowering got to do with putting a christmas tree up okay that is a thing actually this year you know a lot of plants are coming up late whilst you're putting your tree up there are little plants popping up thinking it's the summer still well a bit like you thinking it's christmas all right alan titch marsh thank you very much and on that note i'm gonna go and get a baileys oh dear love you Rightio, thanks Nance, lovely evening, nice chat. I'll see you soon. Alright. Nance is being very quiet.

It is a fashion statement. Have you got my hat in that bag? Oh yeah, I think so. Right, see you soon Nance. See you later. Thank you, see you soon nance okay see you later see you later thank you see you later bye darling see ya bye see you soon bye helen see you soon take care see you later oh dear that was nice really nice it's getting nice to get out for an hour or two is it really bad that i do prefer it when it's just us in there i know it's not good for business but when it's like our own

personal pub yeah yeah i mean that is nice we're lucky around here there's some nice places to go isn't there yeah very much so doesn't the moon look lovely oh yeah it's a bit misty it is a bit misty but i quite like that anyway it's been a lovely night it is absolutely freezing it literally is you banging on about flowers sprouting up they must be crazy because i tell you now if i was a flower i'd be staying well underground our chilies are still all right though look we've still got still got chilies there some nice chilies have we got to pick them yeah we do need to pick those they're ready to go bloody hell oh it's so cold praise him i'm gonna be working did you pay the bill

sorry in the pub darling no i didn't pay the bill sorry i didn't pay the bill well i have to go back now you opened the tab that's really bad just wandered out casually that's so bad oh dear so what what could we get people writing in about well i'll tell you what we could do firstly we're not on uh we're not in the 1980s where we write where we write in but people could leave their voice notes about embarrassing times they've left places without paying a bill i know you can't do that in your local pub whatever sorry for the listener we are now walking back it's a good job it's not far away no i know as you can tell this is not a long journey see what this podcast does oh dear that's embarrassing

really embarrassing especially when you're walking up with two microphones yeah i know it's not very inconspicuous that's terrible what's she gonna say i don't i'm not coming back well to be fair we were sat with the landlady and she didn't say a word. We just walked out. That's terrible, isn't it? It is. I was so happy we lived like two seconds away from this pub. I'm just so happy that I thought of it. It's so cold.

You haven't got a proper jacket on, darling. You've got a gilet on. I know. Why have you got a gilet on? Well, you know. Because you think it's autumn still. Well, I'm getting ready for the summer. I've got my shorts on and my flip-flops ready for the summer.

A bit like how you've got the Christmas tree ready for Christmas. Absolute bollocks. I'm not having it. There's ice on windscreens and everything here. Banging on about it being too early for Christmas. It is too early for Christmas. It's freezing. Fed up with it.

You're on the other side of the road. Right, here we go. We're walking back in the pub now. I'm not. We are. We are not. Sorry. You are.

Here we go. Everyone's going to be looking at us. For the last five minutes, they've been talking about the fact you've not paid the bill we've not paid the bill go on in you go haven't paid the tax Nancy

are you sure? yeah yeah we got all the way home and we've not paid the bill oh god you could have done it another day oh yeah I could have done it what are they? We got all the way home and we've not paid the bill. Oh, God. Are you bothered about that? We could have done it another day. Oh, yeah, could have done it. What are they?

I just felt guilty. I don't know. Crispy hearts. Yeah. That sounds a bit odd. I'm in fibre. Are they pig's hearts? No.

It's a cereal. It's a cereal. Oh. I thought it was hearts. Sorry. They look nice. We didn't pay the bill. They did a runner.

They did a runner about paying. Oh, dear. Hey, guys. What's the mic? What's the mic around there? No, no, no. We're doing a podcast. Yeah.

Yeah. In the pub. No, no, you're welcome to be in it. It's fine. It'll be different. We're in your pub. I think we're there now. You might be.

I don't know how much these are, but let's have a look. Quite interesting. Cardio. It's meant to be good for your heart what's that for how many in a box i I don't know. I think 30. No, 30 grams. Yeah. What are you two looking at? No, I don't know about that.

Where have you found that? Facebook. Get off of there. You don't need that rubbish. Somebody's looking at it. No, just buy a Weetabix. I don't need Weetabix. What do you have for breakfast? Porridge. Keep to the oats. Sorry we didn't pay the bill.

That's alright. Didn't take us long to come back though, did it? Luckily we live nearby. Yeah. Right, see you later. Bye. Bye. See you. It's so cold out here again. I reckon we could have got away with that. I think we could have done. She couldn't care less. Very relaxed, wasn't it? She's not normally like that.

I can't wait to get into bed and me so exciting yeah you've got to be up early tomorrow haven't you

yep I'm taking the kids to school tomorrow first time this week so that'll be nice it's only Tuesday well I hope that you've all enjoyed

our potter to the pub it's been a lovely evening and we have actually turned these microphones off and had a life before you think all we do is pod well when do we do that when we act yeah but it's nice to try new things nice to try and be a little bit different let me know if you liked it let me know if it was too distracting because I go off your thoughts and your likes

so thank you for listening 07788 20 1919 for all your thoughts on the pod subscribe, follow tell your friends have a fantastic weekend and I'll speak to you

on Monday Cheers Bye and Boswell. And we've got a new podcast, haven't we, Di? We do. What's it called? Winning. Isn't. Everything. Every week me and Diane, we're going to be having a little catch up on the back of Strictly, aren't we, Di? We are. I've

missed you, Chris. I've missed you too. We're going to talk some nonsense, so why not tune in? Available everywhere you get your podcasts.