Life with Nat - EP89: Scraping the Barrel #15

Episode Date: February 17, 2025

Nat and Marc are back in the pod room. Nat's getting nervous about the Eastenders live ep, Marc's getting FOMO, and as always, plenty of cheeky innuendo. Enjoy!! x Please subscribe, follow, and leave a review. xxx You can find us in all places here; https://podfollow.com/lifewithnat/view INSTA: @natcass1 We're also on Facebook now too: https://www.facebook.com/lifewithnatpod A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] SHOW INFO: Life with Nat - it’s me! Natalie Cassidy and I’ll be chatting away to family, friends and most importantly YOU. I want to pick people's brains on the subjects that I care about- whether that’s where all the odd socks go, weight and food or kids on phones. Each week I will be letting you into my life as i chat about my week, share my thoughts on the mundane happenings as well as the serious. I have grown up in the public eye and have never changed because of it. Life with Nat is the podcast for proper people. Come join the community. ♥️ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

With the Fizz loyalty program, you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan. You know, for texting and stuff. And if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan, you're not with Fizz. Switch today. Conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. oh i'm too short for these chairs what are you doing sitting into your chair when you start speaking i'm not i'm not near the mic no if i sit forward no but i shouldn't be able when you sit in your chair yeah you're comfortable you can sit back in your chair yeah but i have'll sit forward. No, but I shouldn't be able... When you sit in your chair, you're comfortable. You can sit back in your chair.

Yeah, but I have to sit forward for the microphone. I know, but I'm perching. I'm practically... I'm like a gnome. You need like a little footstool. Yeah, I need some... What do you call them at work? Two four sixes. I thought they were called twos and fours.

Two four sixes. Why are they called two twos and fours. Two four sixes. Why are they called two four sixes? Because all I hear is props blokes go, do you want it on twos or fours? Because they're two four sixes because the option is a two inch lift, a four inch lift or a six inch lift. That's why they're stepped. I did not know that. Yeah, so you go, oh, you know, put that up on twos

and they'll get them and they'll put them on the lowest setting. So when we're in the, imagine we are doing the scene in Dot's living room and we're by the sofas and say there's a shot of Sonia, I don't know, looking at something on the coffee table and it looks a bit of a funny angle the props boys will come in and they'll put the sofa up on a little step which is a what is it two inches or four or six two four sixes is that what it's called two four sixes two four sixes traditionally one might lift the table yes so we do that don't we yeah yeah it's quite funny seeing how many props when it takes to uh level up a coffee table or a sofa how many what's the

punchline well just quite a lot okay it takes them all quite a lot of things to do all right professional nothing to bits, don't I? Yeah. You know. Anyway, a footstool under your feet might help the posture. Possibly. No. I think a high back chair is the best way. These are going in the lounge.

No. Well, I love them. They're going to go next to your beautiful record player. Perfect. You can lay back in them and listen to some music. That's what these are for nice be lovely can i just um mention a message i've had from wendy i never thought i'd love a monday but because i have your pod to listen to i quite like them now happy monday lots of love wendy oh thank you wendy i love the name Wendy. It reminds me of Wendy Richard.

Wendy. The name Wendy reminds me of... Peter Pan? Nope. There was a lovely... Windy Wendy? Nope. Wednesday? Nope.

Wensleydale? Uh-uh. What's it remind you of? Really nice blue Bagnall two foot gauge saddle tank steam locomotive. It used to be based at Kewbridge Steam Museum. Sorry. You alright there? Yeah, fine.

Oh, it's nice. I don't know where it's gone these days. What's that? Wendy. Don't think it's, I think it's gone somewhere else. Anyway, it's a nice engine very nostalgic for me that I used to go to

Kewbridge Steam Museum the national no it wasn't the national it was like a garden railway show and welcome everybody to life with Nat

me and my dad used to go upstairs and we used to have a pat lunch and we'd sit on this sort of I hope you're enjoying the

used to look down used to see the podcast today and we'd sit on this sort of I hope you're enjoying the used to look down at used to see the steam engines podcast today this little steam engine coming around the corner you should do a railway podcast darling why don't you do that sorry

you should no I'm being serious because now's not the time for it okay but I think it has a time well okay if anyone would like me to talk more about steam locomotives

that's not a problem I think it would be a brilliant idea, and I mean that. Yes. Please don't think me rude. Okay. I just don't think we have the audience for it right now. But I promise you, I do think you could do a steam locomotive special pod. Yes.

Maybe once a month. I don't think this is the platform. No, no no not for me oh see the pun there by the way I liked it thank you

that was good thank you what was that brilliant sitcom we used to watch about the trains oh Dr Beeching fantastic

brilliant can we watch that soon yeah that's a good sitcom that's all the same cast as Heidi High yeah and what was the other

Heidi High oh Dr Beeching there was another And what was the other? Heidi High, Oh Doctor Beeching. There was another one. What was the other one? Heidi High. Oh, it was an ensemble cast. It was like amazing that they were in everything else. Oh. It was so good.

What was the other bloody thing? Liz worked on. Doi? No. Hillman. Worked on Ohi? No. Hillman? Worked on Odopter Beaching. Brilliant.

No, I can't remember. Oh, fair enough. Anyway, I hope everybody's well. Mark and I are doing another pod. It is quite late

at night. I had a few messages last time saying you sounded a little bit off. Off. Off key. I want to let you all a little bit off, off, off key. I want to let you all know that Mark and I's relationship is fine.

No, I had quite a few people go, oh, I don't know what's wrong with Mark. We're knackered. Well, can I say something? We are coming upstairs doing these very late, but tonight we're in a good mood. My good friend and colleague, Daniel, floor manager. I was working with him, I think it was the last time I recorded one.

And he listens to the pod. Good. And sent a good message actually about your show. Has he subscribed? The live show. I presume so. I hope so. The message I sent about the live show and the opening,

worth reading out, in just a sec. But he said to me, oh, I heard that podcast you did with Natalie. You must have been very tired, or words to that effect. Because I had been up since. Fucking knackered. Possibly, but maybe not.

Not knowing Daniel. No, he's very well spoken and professional. But yeah, he sympathised with me me but yes i i was quite dry and tired tired you're always very dry dry as a bone aren't you that's not a bad thing yeah that's the sort of humor that we keep yeah we like that don't we something I want to talk to you about which I think is quite important is Joni this evening we had a really nice evening as I've not been at home

yeah and tonight I picked her I took her to school in fact I'm going to run you through my day to show you how important my life choices are there's fuck off don't just sweat my mum listens to this you how important my life choices are. Fuck off. Don't just swear. My mum listens to this.

Please do not swear. Anthony doesn't like the swearing. That's two? Yes. What about the other 47,000 that download it? I think we're alright. This morning I took Joni to school

I dropped her to school do you know I stood outside the classroom I wandered back with some mums not my usual friend mums

just some mums are they missing me? they all miss you yeah have they asked when they did the power walk this morning did they say

is Mark joining us or no? sorry carry on that's alright but I really enjoyed standing at the bottom of our road I walked this morning. Did they say it's Mark joining us or no? Sorry. Carry on. That's all right. But I really enjoyed standing at the bottom of our road, having a lovely chat with a few ladies.

That's not what they said. Funnily enough, one of the mums is a foster mum. And she is fantastic. And every time you see her, she's just so busy. She's amazing. And she's got a little baby at the moment who she's fostering, blah, blah, blah. And I said, I would love to get you on the pod. And she went, oh, I don't know. Oh, yeah, no, I haven't got much filter. I said, don't worry got to walk up there and have a cup of tea. And she's brilliant, so I'm getting her on soon. But it was lovely to stand at the bottom of the road and talk to normal mums about our kids. I feel like I haven't been a mum, well, since June. It felt really lovely to just be a mum at the school. Do you know what I mean?

You should see the WhatsApp group, I meant saying that. Do you know what I mean? You should see the WhatsApp group. I wasn't saying that. Are you on that WhatsApp group? No? I'm the honorary man in the group. That is bullshit. Oh. I wish you'd taken charge of the WhatsApp group. Why?

That would have been brilliant. Why's that? Because it's a lot. I don't get involved. I don't message on there Hang on Is there actually a WhatsApp group? Yeah Is there?

Yes What, full of mums? Mm-hmm Any dads on there? There are a couple of dads Right Where's my invite? Charming

Not on there Oh, okay It didn't even, like, existed Where's my invite? Charming. Not on there. Okay. Didn't even know it existed. So this message here from Daniel Woodhouse says, So I've got a good creative idea for the live pod opener. Full dance number with an ensemble all dressed as the bush. Then each of the family are choreographed to come on stage during the number again all dressed as the bush with individual reveals the last being

Natalie plus a celeb singer to front the number which is not revealed till the end of the show then you can run a live poll for the audience to guess who the singer was happy to come on board as a creative director plus sarah the wife is a brilliant choreographer has he got a lot of time on his hands is he not working at the moment no i felt bad because i had a bit on that day and i couldn't i thought with a bit of effort has gone into this and i couldn't reply properly you've put four laughing faces well that's the standard stock. It's terrible. It's a disgrace. I apologise now. You didn't get an actual reply

because that day, he knows what I'm up to. Pretty busy. There you go. But good effort and what a great idea. Pretty busy. I'm so busy. I'm so busy. You sound like me. Yeah. Anyone would think you'd be supervising

the 40th episode live episode that's going out on Thursday night that millions are going to watch anyone would think you were under pressure

don't be sarcastic how are you how are you feeling you're doing a sterling job that was the most insincere no I mean it. It's sterling. You're doing fantastically

well. How do you know? Because I can see the work you've put into it. Okay. No one else has got to watch you continuously on your laptop with your spreadsheet. Thank you. No one else has got to live with it, have they? No. Mark's brilliant. Isn't Mark brilliant?

Shut up. Try and live with him. Who says that? No one. Anyway, move on, move on. They do. Okay, red. No, it's all good.

But for the listener, I do think it's really important because they're very excited about this Thursday's EastEnders. And there's a big hype around it. And they all think about us and the characters and what we're doing but you have organised how it's going to be done. I'm a very small cog

and quite a big machine. I'd say you're quite a medium one. Yeah, right. I'd say you're quite a large one. Oh, there's a first. Don't do the snort. The snort is really not a good look Or sound, sorry That is your fault

Because that was funny Oh Hi Nat I just wanted to send my first voice note. I've been meaning to do it for ages but there's a part of me that thinks what if I voice note the wrong number. We've all done it Linda. Been listening to the pod for a long time now and you do get me through quite a lot of appointments at hospitals and dog walks. It's great company. I just wanted to wish you all the best. Luck.

And, you know, it's hard changing career. You're doing brilliantly. Love EastEnders, but family first, always. Loads of love. Thank you so much for that. I just called you Linda, but I think your name's Nettie now. I've got a real problem, problem actually with getting people's names right is Nettie

Nettie knew the lady was christened well in her last message she said much love Nettie knew from Bedford so I'm going with that point taken but thank you Nettie knew because it is nice to hear that

because it is quite a daunting thing, changing career. But I know I'm doing the right thing. It's been a lot of groundwork put in. Are you changing career? Well, I'm changing what everybody is used to. Got you. So I think for the listener, it is a change of career. Yeah, I get it.

Because I'm not going to be on his standards, am I? Very proud of you. By the way, it's very exciting stuff. It is. I mean, it was a bit today, driving home,

haven't really spoke to you today. And it was like this, just reeling off what had happened today. Probably none of it can be spoken about, but it was funny. So it's like, oh,

by the way, yeah, this happened today. And so-and-so said this, and I've been offered this. And I think, wow, it's amazing.

Yeah. And then, then I had a tea and then I got this other offer through, which was doing this. Right. Okay. Wow. Yeah.

Then after lunch, I got an email from so-and-so and I've been offered this thing. This is just ridiculous. I mean, it went on and on. It was actually like a joke. I know, but today's a full moon, baby. Right.

Full moon. Which means you're not going to sleep tonight. To our listeners, we have Kirsty Gallagher on the pod on Thursday she is my moon lady I wouldn't say she's my moon lady but she is the moon lady

some of you might have heard of her some of you might have not I urge you to listen on Thursday it's all about connecting with the moon and I know that some people say what a load of rubbish but just listen to it because it isn't all fancy we're all made of 90% over 90% water and the moon controls the tides of the sea so it's a bit weird to think that we don't get affected by the moon it's really interesting please listen to it we don't get affected by the moon. It's really interesting.

Please listen to it. But today was a full moon, or last night was a full moon, and today the instructions were to act upon it, be brave and give out the things that you've worked on. And I did that today, and I have had a cracking day. That's very good. So what you're suggesting is the moon's gravitational pull, which affects the tides.

Correct. Correct, wind. I mean, is that probably your excuse? And so the moon does that. So you're suggesting that the gravitational pull of the moon affects our behaviour. Correct. I see. 100%.

Plus we are made up of electricity and particles. Yeah. And we are just billions of particles, scientifically speaking, from space. We're in space now. So to think that we're not a part of all the planets and how they move is madness. On the subject of electricity. Yes. You just mentioned it.

We function on electricity. Yeah. I know somebody that had a question in an exam. Yeah. And to write like a little essay on it. Oh, yeah. And the essay question was, describe life without electricity.

Well, you can't. Well, he said without electricity. Well, you can't. Well, he said without electricity, there would be no life. And then put his pen down. No way. Yeah. It's perfect. I've always remembered that. There you go.

Never had that question. If only. I'd like to know what Marky got. Yeah, he never said that. I think it was good. I think they, you know, you can't really argue with that, can you? No. Nor can you argue with the fact that we are fully water.

Well, not fully, but a high percentage is water. Shame it's not like a little plug you can just pull. What for? You know, my belly would shrink. You haven't got a belly? Like a little psss. What if you could drain out any liquids

from a certain plug? Pardon? No, I'm just saying it'd be good for men. Men especially, they could just have a little plug they'd pull, drain out a bit of liquid.

It'd stop a lot of trouble, wouldn't it? Stop a lot of trouble going on. You know what I mean, girls. You know what I mean, girls. Fatties. you know what i mean girls you know what i mean girls why she's speechless makes a change hi nat i've been wanting to message for a while now i listen to all your episodes that you throw out i think they're all fantastic they really keep me going throughout the week. I usually listen to them when I'm doing my housework

or whatever I need to get done at home. It's very crazy at our house. I've got three children under eight. I also work almost full-time at the primary school my children go to. At the moment, I've got two of them off with the flu. So as you can imagine, it's a bit chaotic. And I feel mum guilt big time i feel guilty for not being at work if i don't go i also feel guilty if i have to send them and they're not

right so you just can't win either way but yes you do really keep me going so thank you for everything that you do i just want to also mention the viennetta never talking in our house we call it anti-netta cake because my aunt is called netta and when i was younger that's what i thought it was called because that's what my dad all always called it so i didn't know any different and she's actually called antoinetta my dad is italian so yeah even my children now are saying i want some anti-netta cake that's what we call it i couldn't stop laughing uh when you were talking about it before on the pod it's just brilliant I love everything that you do so thank you again and oh my name's Nat by the

way too and I'm from Chesterfield thank you bye oh Nat what a great message can I just say thank you? And can I say, wow, three under eight. Don't know how you do it. And you're a teacher at a primary school. I might start doing an award ceremony for my listeners. What do you think to that? Sorry, I thought you might expand on that. She needs an award. It's impressive.

She needs an award. I love that voice note because there was so much going on that. She needs an award. It's impressive. She needs an award. I love that voice note because there was so much going on there. I know. It had like a nice atmosphere. You could hear the kids. She's concentrating despite the kids. You could hear the kids in the background. Full concentration on the voice note.

Then the phone went. Commendable. I couldn't do that. If I'm on the phone And someone even Looks at me Darling I can't speak anymore Darling When you're on the phone

Yeah I can have a full blown Conversation with you Yeah And you don't know I've spoken Correct Can't do it

That's not just you By the way That's just just you, by the way. That's just anyone with a... Retract that comment. That was terrible. Emma needs to bleep that out. That was absolutely... You can't say that.

That's just anyone with a penis. You can't say that. Why? It's not acceptable. It is. No, it's not. Men can't multitask. Okay.

They can't. Oh okay they can't oh no charming no it's not a bad thing you can do loads of stuff you just can't multitask HR department needs to be informed of this third party offended yep

I have to have a little word with some people about this it isn't a bad thing. Oh, no. No. No. You've just, you know, annihilated 50% of the population. Home wouldn't be here for the other 50%. Chicken and egg, really, if you think about that.

Hmm? Sorry, what was that? Haven't we thought that one through? What do you think about the chicken and the egg? Sorry, what was that? Haven't we thought that one through, have we? What do you think about the chicken and the egg? I don't really know what you mean. What do you think about the chicken and the egg? Chicken and the egg.

Well... What came first? Well, I don't know. It's a good one. It is a good one. I think the egg. I think so. I think the egg was placed down by God after he brought light to the world and animals and he just popped the egg down. Well, evolution and how creatures evolve, it's quite a slow process, isn't it?

Very. But arguably, things very slowly change form as their needs adjust. Yes. Over a long period of time. Yes. Over a long period of time. Yes. So because it's quite slow, as something adapts, is it not the egg? I don't know.

And it's quite, this is a deep conversation. Well, listen, I'm happy to go anywhere. Wow. I don't think it's a bad thing to be a bit deep. That is a great question though,

for the listeners. I mean, Romesh, Romesh and Tom Davis were talking about bad thing to be a bit deep. That is a great question though for the listeners. I mean, Ramesh, Ramesh and Tom Davis were talking about Josh Riddick and lining up for Bonnie Blue having sex with her the other day, which is a deep thing. Apparently. Hey,

so I think us talking about the chicken and the eggs. Okay. You've sort of lost me on this. Yeah. Don't worry. Okay. If listeners listen to Wolf and our parents and how they'll get it but i think the chicken and the egg's quite an intellectual conversation that we don't need to worry about and we are allowed to touch on it rightio that's what i feel any other voice notes it's donald from bristol i've had a message you before but i was

just listening to the scrape in the barrel with Mark when you said the door had changed and he said how is 1980s like Christmas decorations pretty turn and then

he had to go and look and you said how can you not miss a fuck off group thing of Wisteria I am I'm so sorry Donna I can't understand you

we're going to leave that there Donna's having a lovely evening drop us a message when you're not pissed Donna I mean sometimes I've had a drink here but that's fucking ridiculous more like that please

I had a lovely message from Rachel and it was a little card that she saw in a shop. And she said, saw this thought of you. Add water and watch as your hairy beaver grows its bush. Oh, do you know something? No. Oh, look.

I don't. I'm going to pop it up on Instagram. It's cute. I don't want to see that. What do you mean? It's a little bear. Little beaver. It's all furry.

It's a little beaver growing its bush. Put it away. But she said, because of last week's news, she saw it and she thought of me. Right. And I thought, how lovely. Oh, lovely. So cute. I'll tell you what I did get, which was so lovely.

I got a message here from Natalie, another Natalie. Hi, Nat. Hope you're okay. I'm a bit behind listening to the pod but I'm still loving it my friend Fran and I have booked tickets for the fashion loves event in March that you're hosting we are both massive fans of yours and we wondered if we'll get a chance to say hi to you in person on the evening we'd love to meet you. Well, Natalie, the Bedford in Ballam, where I'm hosting this event is quite a small venue and you'll absolutely see me. And thank you so much for booking it. It is charitable and it's going to be a really, really fun evening. We've got

Rosie Jones doing a set, lots of other comedians and I'm pooing myself a little because it will be the first time I've hosted anything for quite a long while. But yeah, I'll definitely see you. Come and see me and we'll have a drink. Nice, isn't it? Nicer people. No? Okay.

Brilliant. Hi there. nope okay brilliant hi Nat I just thought I'd drop your voice note I did one earlier but it was speeded up for some reason anyway I was listening to your pod on my way home tonight

and she was chatting her way with Eliza and I just wanted to say what an absolute adorable little girl not little girl big girl you have she's so articulate and grown up and well she just you probably can't hear it, but, you know, mannerisms, you can just hear that she's yours. And your relationship just, it was heartlifting to hear a girl of her age chatting so nice with her mum. I've got two girls and I've got a fabulous relationship with them. They're now in their 30s. But I must say, even though I'm a mum of girls, it really made me think, wow. It was just really lovely to hear.

So credit where credit's due, and she is an absolute credit to you. Oh, Lisa, that was so lovely. Thank you. You sound really like where I'm from I love that I just want to talk I just want to go right back into where I'm from and talk really like you know like you do well I do anyway I suppose but you really make me go yeah you know I mean like let's just have a little chat Lisa about stuff hang on is Danny Dyer coming no but that's what it reminds me of I just want to go yeah Lisa I know I get what you mean you know what I mean? Let's just have a little chat, Lise, about stuff. Hang on, is Danny Dyer coming? No, but that's what it reminds me of.

I just want to go, yeah, Lise, I get what you mean. I know what you mean. Do you know what, though? You don't live with her. No. I was going to say, you want to see these two. Blimey. That was the best.

I mean, it was like, that was, I was sat next door when you were chatting to her. And she does, she's very good. She's a very good girl. She is a good girl when you think about it. I just wish the two of you just permanently were recording something for the podcast. Life would be bliss. No arguments.

No black eyes. No fighting. It was so good that she does come up. She's so good. No, she does come up she's so good no she's good and of course we argue a little bit but she's a good girl she's very good yeah i'll tell you it wasn't good tonight no joni was brilliant tonight but what she said to me earlier she was in the bath yeah she had a bath and she was sat in the bath with a flannel and all her soap and whatever and she went you know what mummy she went look i'm jiggling away here

i'm jiggling away i said oh you are and she went i'll tell you what though you don't need to do what i'm doing you don't move you just need to walk along and your bum jiggles i said that is true she She went, but your thighs. She said, you don't need to really move and they jiggle. I said, yeah. That's 20 quid, Iowa. Shut up. And then she said, you jiggle.

She went, your thighs jiggle a lot. Your bum really jiggles. She said, your teeth are yellow. Your hair is weird. Your teeth are yellow. Your hair is weird. Your teeth are yellow. Your hair is weird. Your bum jiggles. Your thighs jiggle more.

Charming. And your short was what she ended with. Right. Where she got that from? So I said, cheers, Joan. I said, but I like my jiggly bits. And she said, well, I've got big thighs, which I thought was weird for an eight-year-old. Yes. And I said, but I like my jiggly bits. And she said, well, I've got big thighs, which I thought was weird for an eight-year-old.

And I said, right. And she said, but I'm strong. I said, and we are very strong. And you will be a child-bearing woman, not one of these flimsy people. Nothing wrong with flimsy people. Oh, right. Well, she sounds like... Us big five girls

got to stick together, you know? I'm sure there was a song. A song. Queen did something. About what? Can't remember.

Don't you mean I like big butts and I cannot lie? No, it's not. No. It's not Queen, but it was about big bums. No? I've looked at the weather report.

It's minus one again tomorrow. Right. I know. What are the chances? However, I wandered round the garden this morning. Oh, did you? Yeah, because I just wanted a minute. Because I'd done the school run, I saw the mums.

I felt really at home and I thought, I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to do a power walk. I'm going to go round the garden. I'm going to check. I'm going to see if my snowdrops are up. Glad someone's checking. And they are. They're up.

Oh, good. We're all pleased to hear that. They're fully erect. are. They're up. Oh, good. We're all pleased to hear that. They're fully erect. For you. They're fully erect. Lowering the tone. Pardon? Just imagine.

See that empty chair? Right, this is a new policy now for the podcast. New policy. Just to make me feel a bit more comfortable. See this chair? Who's in there? My mum. She's a listener.

She's in here. Do you know what? I wish your mum mum she's a listener she's in here do you know what I wish your mum was there she will not come in here I wouldn't change she would blush can I just say that I wouldn't change

what I'd be saying she knows that and I know that your mum knows that yes and she loves me for that yes well

yeah well not what I yeah okay yeah she does yeah happy birthday mum oh we're going to see her for lunch aren't we this weekend which will be nice yeah okay yeah she does yeah happy birthday mum oh we're going to see her

for lunch aren't we this weekend which will be nice well I said I was a bit worried you see about this

obviously we're going to see her for lunch yeah but when I spoke to her and phoned her up driving to work said mum happy birthday

nice little chat gingerly kind of said I know Jenny I think had told her we're meeting up for lunch yeah yeah yeah

so I sort of gingerly said oh I'm gonna see you soon and she sort of went are you oh I don't know anything about that oh

and I thought oh no has Jenny kept it like not told her or is it was it meant to be a surprise we're going to meet her for lunch? I didn't know. Your sister said we're meeting her for lunch.

I know, but obviously, I don't know. But anyway, that was, we are going to see her for lunch and I'm looking forward to it. 21 again. Yeah. Anyway, so future reference. I mean, I might get a cardboard cutout and just pop it on that chair. And, yeah, just make you consider a few of the comments that you make. I might put Paul Hollywood on that chair.

Right. Not really sure what we're doing there. Well, if I was going to buy a cardboard cutout. Right, yeah. And I got Paul Hollywood. Yes. Then when your mum stayed uh huh

she'd enjoy it as well I'm sorry you've lost me no I'm just kidding pardon your mum got excited when she saw

poor Hollywood and met him right she liked him okay yeah right this is

anyone else feel awkward because I don't know honestly She likes him. Okay. Yeah. Right. This is... Anyone else feel awkward? Because... I don't know if... Honestly. He's got lovely eyes. Right. Oh, brilliant. That took a turn.

I just mean I'd rather a cardboard cutout that we're going to use. Pardon? Well, if a cardboard cutout is here of your mum. Yeah. It's irrelevant. No one wants it.

Right. But if we've got Paul Hollywood there. Yeah. When your mum comes round. Yeah. We can put it

in her room. Right. And she can enjoy it. Are you all right tonight? What are you talking about? No, you're making me out to be a rude person. No, I'm not. I'm just saying that it'd be fun.

We could have a laugh. He could join us for dinner and stuff. What, like the cardboard cutouts that people have of you when you get your photos of oh just just doing this now morning that it's terry from northampton here now i've just been listening to scraping the barrel 14 brilliant you mentioned the yorkshire pudding ice cream. Not here to discuss that. I'm here to discuss the fact that it reminded me of an absolute horror I found out the other day, Pancake Day. So we're talking about February, trying to find something nice about it. Nights are getting lighter and it's Pancake Day.

Well, look to my calendar. it's on the 6th of March this year so what is good about February now and do you like pancake day how do you have them are you first anyway love the pod have a great day speak to you soon my darling girl I love Pancake Day However I've got it down in my diary My diary says it's the 4th of March That's Robbo's birthday Who's Robbo?

I mean how do you remember that? You can't remember your own mum's birthday And on cue I always remember Robbo saying to me May the 4th be with you That's May the 4th We to me, may the 4th be with you. That's May the 4th. We're talking about March the 4th, you absolute dick.

Sorry. Sorry, Robbo. Bit early. But I know your birthday. I had to say it out loud. Yeah. Eliza's friend, Sophia, is may the 4th be with you as well. However.

Is it? Yeah, it's irrelevant. Of course, you'll remember that day. But you're right. Pancake Day was always the end of February. It isn't. You know why? Easter's late this year.

Isn't it funny how Easter changes? Why does it change? How can it change? It does. I thinkmas should change as well i think it should move with the times move with the seasons and it shouldn't be the 25th of december because it's always mild and you can't store your veg outside dig a hole in the garden what for to store your veg no no my nan used to say that to me they used to dig hole in the garden. What for? To store your veg. No, no, my nan used to say that to me. They used to dig holes in the garden to store food.

Mm. Keep it cool. I'm going to have Cara on soon. Lovely Cara, who I had on. Oh, yeah. The gardening queen. Yep. I'm going to get her on,

and I'm going to grow Some veg this year I can't wait to see it Peas Yep Runner beans Excellent Aubergines Courgettes

And then Cara's going to come round And plant some dahlias Or dahlias Whatever you say. Potato, potato. Right. Pancake day. Pancake day is pretty much every other day in our house, according to Joanie.

According to you. She loves a pancake. You make them. On the heart. You make them. Joanie likes pancakes. I don't have them. Not special though, is it?

I only had them on one day of the year. She is obsessed with me making her pancakes in the morning. I know. Yeah. I don't force it on her. No. No, but you do make them. It's lovely.

It's a nice thing. Yeah. But pancake day means nothing now in this household. Well, you've got to have pancakes all day for Pancake Day. Yeah, that's true. So that would be nice. I'm in Manchester. Pardon?

Pancake Day. Okay, brilliant. So, as usual, you'll be making the pancakes. Who's going to toss off the, you know... What are you laughing at? Who's going to do the flipping in our household? What are you laughing at? Are you all right? I'm a bit worried now. are you alright

I'm a bit worried now it was the hand movement what flipping the pancakes how does that make you laugh what are you seven because you said who's going to toss

off the bag? I can't believe this. That was good. Highbrow. It was fun. This is a serious podcast. It is, actually. Okay, well, that's going to be fun.

It's just going to be me on my own. Yeah, sorry about that. I've got to go to work. Brilliant. Charming. I think I'm working. Am I working? I don't know what I'm doing that day.

Who knows? But you said it was the 6th. 6th. I think it was the 4th in my diary. Yeah, you said that. Sorry. That's how we got onto it. We should talk about Robert's birthday.

It's not in March. It's in May. I made a boo-boo. But I go away on the 4th to the 5th. And I thought, oh, I can't believe it. It's pancake day because I wrote it in. I bet you were gutted you were going to miss pancakes. I was, actually.

Oh, yeah. It's an event in our household for you, isn't it? You love it. Wow. What are you doing in Manchester? We all want to know. I don't know if I can say. Oh, blimey. I know. I know it's really boring, but no, I don't. It I can say. Oh, blimey.

I know. I know it's really boring, but no, I don't. It's a quiz thing, but I don't think I can. You're not going to pop up somewhere as a bush or a plant pot or something? No. No. Not going to suddenly. You're not like the masked dancer now, are you?

No. Right. Okay. Good. Are you on gladiators? No. Don't take the piss. No. Imagine me. Good. Are you on gladiators? No. Don't take the piss. No?

Imagine me. Yeah. I haven't done any exercise for two years. Right. What's that got to do with the gladiators? I'd die of a heart attack. You'd be well good at that. Imagine me running up the travelator.

Yeah. You'd be great at it. No, darling. You would. That's really kind, but I've got a lot to do. Okay. You'd be fine. Thank you. I've got a lot to do Okay You'd be fine Thank you

I've got a lot to face You've run a marathon Twice Yeah A long time ago What two years ago Oh yeah That was ages ago

Blimey Time goes quick There's only 46 Fridays Until Christmas Wow Quite excited Are you? Mm-hmm

Oh God Christmas Can't wait We've got to plant some seeds by the way I know I said Get in there now You can do the chillies

and the tomatoes and I'm going to do some more this year because I'm around Perfect It's going to be good Excellent But as I say

the snowdrops are looking beautiful. They're fully erect. They're white at the top. Let's head back to the mic. No, they're spraying really well. They're beautiful. Pardon? The sprays of them.

Sorry. Sorry. Pardon? Really? They're so pretty. Right, go on. Come on, you're desperate. You've got to see that brain now.

It's going... You're trying to think. Come on. No. Come on. No, they're lovely. I love snowdrops. I love them.

Yes. Where are... I mean, have we got snowdrops? Yeah, always. I know exactly where they are. You go round. Yeah. You know where you've covered up the furniture?

Yes. That we got from QVC uh huh if you look opposite that where the tree is you've got the rose bush behind it and they're around that tree they're around there

oh really and we always have clumps of them come up at this time of year and I always look I know where they are they're beautiful that's sort of the first thing

isn't it that comes up? I noticed some daffodils had started popping up. Oh, yeah, no, you've got your greens. How's that happening in February? They always do. Your mum loves a daffodil. Totally.

Loves it. Did you not have a voice note about mould in the shower? No, I can't find it, but can I just say I've had about a million messages regarding what mould product I was talking about. Now, I put it on Instagram once. I hate to be a killjoy, but they're not paying me to advertise. i'm not going to keep putting it up i know no

but at the same time people are asking i i listened to that and i i was thinking about our shower because yes there's some mold on the uh silicon disgusting but it's so much easier just to replace the silicon which is what i'm intending to do when I have a chance, than cleaning it. Yeah, but cleaning it is better for some people, isn't it? Obviously. Now the picture, I'm going to read it out to you all, because loads of you have asked.

It's called M remover gel and the name of it is bean won i mean this is ridiculous no seriously you can say bean won b-a-n-e so it's spelled B-E-A-N E-W-O-N-E So B-E-A-N E-W-O-N-E Mould Remover Gel I don't know where you get it from I'm sure you can get it on Amazon

I'm sure you can get it in lots of places Should I need to search for Mould Remover Gel? Well Mould Remover Gel Yeah Wall, grout, garage, sink tap, basement, bathtub tile. There you go. There you go.

Perfect. So have a little butchers at it. Have a little Google and I'm sure you'll find it. Oh, don't we have fun, eh? Amazing. What an amazing podcast. Mould remover gel. fun, eh? Amazing. What an amazing podcast. Mould removal gel. Anyway, you say that.

There's been about 1,500 messages regarding it. Well, you found your market. You found the audience. There you go. When you do your live show. I've said that when I do my live show. Yeah. I want Auntie Linny cleaning on the stage.

Yes, I was going to say like there needs to be demos I want to see I want to see a piece of carpet and you sort of pour a load of stuff all over the carpet

and she produces are you going to do that or sorry who's going to pour a load of stuff over the carpet no you have

you have a piece pre-prepared so you can do like a little hoover. Maybe you could have, I don't know, just some stuff on the carpet and then Aunt Eulalie just sort of cleans it. Yeah, I thought I could have an ironing board up.

She could just be ironing. A nice piece of glass, hand prints all over it. Yeah. Yeah, little cleaning of that. No, I have thought of that, genuinely. Brilliant. You're joking, but I thought it'd be great. No, it'd be really good.

All the time she's there. Really good. She could go round to people. Yeah. Clean their phones, have a chat with them. Yeah. That stuff. Perfect.

Pair of marigolds on. Always. Feather duster. All right. Drawing her in a maid suit as well. Again. She'd look good, though, in a maid suit, to be honest. We could do that.

That'd bring in the listenership. Sorry? Sell some tickets. Get her in a sexy maid outfit. Linda, I can only apologise for that.

I don't know what on earth she's talking about. This is actually really awkward. I don't know what is on your mind today. Well, she looks absolutely sensational

so go for it, I say. Get it on. Maybe you could lend her one of yours. Possibly, it might be a bit large. Let's talk about the dusters.

Oh, sorry. I thought you meant the... Alright, good. Well, I think that's, I think that's, I'm'm just embarrassed i don't really know

what tonight's set has been i i'm not sure what emma's gonna make of it i mean it's quite a lot to go through yeah she's got a lot to chew through um poor girl poor woman what was it you said the other day you can't polish a turd. No, you didn't say that. Oh. You said something like, you can't make a turd. And I was thinking, no, what you mean is you can't polish a turd. Oh, right.

But it was another classic Natalie little take on her. Natalieism. Yeah. I can't remember what it was, but yes. I did, didn't I? What did I say? I can't remember. It was funny though.

But the sentiment was, you can't polish a turd, which to be honest. I said, I know what I said. I said, you can't make a turd out of gold. Yes, it was something like that. But you could do. You could do that. You absolutely could.

I don't know why you would do that, but you could do that. I'm sure an artist has. Probably. When I have time. Yeah, I'm going to create... That could be something, couldn't it? Yeah. The pound...

Go on. Trolley tokens. Gold turds. I mean, what a collection of things for your shop. Viennetta. Wacking out at 99p. I can't wait. Clarkson's Farm did it.

Apart from they charged £58 for a box of mushrooms. Did they? Well, no, but... No. The mushroom powder. The powdered mushroom. What powdered mushroom was it?

Is what I want to know. Because everyone's on it now. Do you know this? No. Oh, they all love it, don't they? Oh, mushrooms. Mushrooms are brilliant. Have a mushroom.

They are. I'm genuinely a little bit worried about you this evening. Well, don't worry about me. No, you've said some interesting comments. Why? I don't know. You. No, you've said some interesting comments. Why? I don't know. You're just in a funny little mood. I'm in a good mood.

Yes. Do you know why I'm in a good mood? Because everything I'm talking about is stopping me from thinking about what I've got to do in three days' time. So when you say, oh, you're in a funny mood, it might be because i've got to stand and do lots of things in a very very very large manner in front of millions of people live

oh you'll do a fantastic job will i yes well Yes. Well, let's hope you capture it. I'm not there. Oh, there we go. Passing the buck. It's down to you. Why? Every single shot of those episodes, it lays on your shoulders.

What do you mean? It's on your shoulders. You've created it. You've staffed it. I've not created it. Yeah. It's down to you. Every picture that everybody sees is down to you.

No, it's not. No, I know, but it sounds good to make you nervous. I'm not nervous. I'm at least a bit nervous because there's an extremely talented bunch of people. I am. I'm nervous. You know why? Yes.

Because my ugly mug's on the screen on the night. And if I get it wrong, it'll be recorded and TikTok'd and Instagram'd for the rest of my life. So don't you worry, will you, about me? Don't you worry. What are you talking about? You're going to be brilliant. Yeah. You will be. I'll Yeah. You will be. I'll be what I will be.

I am what I am. Do you know what? You just reminded me. There was a program I was watching the other day. Of? There was this big green thing blurting out a song. Sounded just like you. Do you know how many people have told me about that well it's um it's watched quite a lot you know yeah saturday night telly isn't it so

i'm looking forward to the final oh that would have been out by now well no well no you really do confuse me when we start talking about are we are we in you know pretend world of the TX date

of this episode or are we recording it before the TX date and I don't know this is going out on Monday Monday

okay three days before we're out on live and I ruined my career. And two days after the live episode and final of The Masked Singer. Well, if you're not careful, you're going to get sacked. From what? Oh, hang on a minute.

Does it matter? You could do like a little promo for your podcast off very frequently. You could do a little wink and sort of say by the way tune in on Thursday can you imagine just do a random advert

just random BBC One promote your pod earn this back into it be good wouldn't it it would be funny a little wink just a wink to camera

just a little have a little badge that I flash life with Nat okay life with Nat okay life with Nat out Monday quite a light

that was quite seduced by that little is that because I nearly got my breast out no oh again

cardboard cutout needs to that's going on the list please poor Hollywood sexy eyes la la la la la la la la Carpool cutout needs to, that's going on the list. For Hollywood. Sexy eyes. Or sexy eyes.

Well, lovely to speak to you. Nice to see you for a change. It's been lovely seeing you. You've been really, really busy. I'm very proud of you too. Thank you. It's not quite the same really. No, I am.

You've done very well. The next time you will hear me will be on thursday morning which uh will be with kirsty gallagher talking about the moons which is a very very good thing because thursday night you'll see me live for the east enders 40th episode but on monday i will be debriefing what the live was like, whether they like it or not. So there we go. Shall we go? Yeah. I might stay on.

Can I do a little bonus? I could do a 10 minute talk on steam locomotives. Would you like me to do that for you? A little Easter egg. You could, you know, I'm happy to talk about

something to do with trains. Speak to you on Thursday. Or I could talk about something else. Hi, this is Chris McCausland. And this is Diane Boswell. And we've got a new podcast, haven't we, Di? We do. What's it called?

Winning. Isn't. Everything. Every week, me and Diane, we're going to be having a little catch up on the back of Strictly, aren't we, Di? We are. I've missed you, Chris.

I've missed you too. We're going to talk some nonsense, so why not tune in? Available everywhere you get your podcasts.