Life.Church with Craig Groeschel - 3 Principles to Help Your Relationships

Episode Date: June 27, 2021

What if the relationship God wants for you looks nothing like the relationship you want for yourself? It could be time to rip up your relationship goals list and find out what God has planned for you instead.ABOUT THIS MESSAGERelationships are complicated, but do they have to be? How do you know if your one is "the one"? Can a book as old as the Bible help relationships today? We’re talking about being single, dating, marriage, and more in our new series, Modern Romance.Learn more about Modern Romance: www.life.church/modernromanceStart the Modern Romance Bible Plan: www.go2.lc/modernromanceWE’RE OPENWe’re continuing to monitor guidelines and best practices for gathering in a safe way. Learn more about everything we're doing to keep you safe and how you can help by using hand sanitizer, washing your hands often, and more: https://www.life.church/updatesFind a time and attend a service with us: http://www.life.church/locationsNEXT STEPSHave you made a decision to follow Jesus? You may be wondering what’s next on your journey. We want to help! Let us guide you to your next steps in your walk with Christ: https://www.life.church/nextABOUT LIFE.CHURCHWherever you are in life, you have a purpose. Life.Church wants to help you find your next step. Our hope is that your journey will include joining us at a Life.Church location throughout the United States or globally online at https://www.live.life.church. Find locations, videos, and more info about us at https://www.life.church or download the Life.Church app at https://www.life.church/app. FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIAFacebook: http://www.facebook.com/life.churchInstagram: http://www.instagram.com/life.churchTwitter: http://www.twitter.com/lifechurchCONNECT WITH PASTOR CRAIGYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIIdiIO-Y20hRW9niR0CA8AFacebook: http://www.facebook.com/craiggroeschelInstagram: http://www.instagram.com/craiggroeschelTwitter: http://www.twitter.com/craiggroeschel#lifechurch #michaeltodd #ripupyourlist  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

They let me back in here again. I'm back and I'm black and I'm wearing a pink jacket. And I am excited to be able to continue to share about principles. Everybody say principles. To live your life and to help your relationships. I believe that everybody can win in relationships. If you're sitting next to somebody, tell them you can win in relationships. Now, the other person that you didn't look at, I want you to tell them you can win in relationships.

Yeah, that's what God wants for each one of us. But that means that we have to live our life based on principles that are found in God's word. And we learned last week that we got to do what? Rip up the list. See, because all of us have a list that we have made in our hearts, in our minds, in our soul and our emotion, that we think maybe God will co-sign this. Maybe this is the type of person I'll be with. And many times we get frustrated because God didn't do what we erroneously made up on our own.

And today, I want to go further into this principle, but I want to show you through somebody's life in the Word of God. Y'all remember Joseph? The one with the Fasachi Gucci jacket. Y'all remember the one of a couple many colors. y'all remember that. I want to look at Joseph's life and I want to tell you that the journey to whatever God has for you, whatever your palace looks like, relationally, whatever your palace looks like for your family, whatever your palace looks like for your business, you might want to rip up the

list of how you thought it was going to happen. Because the road to where you're going to end up, And I want to encourage somebody. If you're single right now and you desire a relationship, I believe that you're going to end up in a relationship that is full of life. Y'all don't even believe. She's like, I don't even know, Pastor Mike. I'm telling you, by faith, you're going to end up in a relationship that's full of life. A relationship that brings joy that blesses others.

If your relationship is bad right now, I believe that God can turn it around. He's the only one that can take broken things and create a master's. masterpiece. But the thing you got to realize is the journey doesn't always look like the destination. Write that down. The journey doesn't always look like the destination where me and my wife Natalie are at today. After almost 20 years of knowing each other, 11 years of being married and our relationship went to a pit right before I got married can I be hot can I be humble open and transparent with life church I kind of told some of my business last week I'm going to tell a little more this week don't judge me it don't matter if you do God loves me um right before we

got married I had this voice come into my mind and it was through people and different things but I'll just call it a voice that came to my mind. It was really the enemy. So how are you about to settle down and give your life to this one woman and you've never experienced anything else? Why in the world would you settle for this steak dinner when you've never tasted tacos and meatloaf

and burgers and ham? Y'all get the analogy? And I did not hang on to the principles of God. I went for pleasure. And I know I'm talking about me, but I'm talking about you too. Because there's areas of our life where we've traded the principles of God for the pleasure of the moment. And that 10 months of insanity that I talk about in my book, Relationship Goals cost me 10 years of trust building. What I'm telling you is where we are today, the destination relationship goals.

number one New York time bestseller. Look at our family. That's not the journey we was on. And what I had to do was I had to take the list that I made. And I had to do what? I got to keep apologizing. I got to keep saying I'm sorry for what I did that one time. I got to keep going to counseling. And they charge how much? But remember what Proverbs 1921 says. Many are the plans in a person's heart. But it is the Lord's purpose that will prevail. God prevail. God saw us purpose helping millions of people win in relationships. But the journey to get there went through a pit. And that's kind of what happened to Joseph. And I came to encourage somebody. Well, I thought this was a relationship series.

If you're going to be in relationship, at some moment, it's going to the pit. Oh, can all my married folks make some noise, right? Some of y'all barely made it here today. He's like, don't talk to me, Jim, don't talk to me. Glory to God. I'm trying to give you principles so you know that we can get to the palace. But if you're going to go on this journey, don't quit in the pit. Age where if you look at modern romance, they tell you quit when it's hard. They tell you stop when you don't feel it anymore.

I don't know. We just fell out of love. It's just, I don't know. Like one day, I just, I looked at them in no sparks. I dare say love starts where feelings end. Y'all missed it. Yeah, when I stopped feeling it, that's when love actually kicks in. Y'all remember that song, Michael and Natalie sitting in the tree.

K-I-S-S-I help me say, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby and the baby. That's the dumbest relational advice I've ever heard. Love doesn't come first. Sometimes the baby come first, let's be honest. I believe if you study the scripture, love comes after the sacrifice. It comes after the commitment. This is free. How much did you love God before you committed to them?

It was after the commitment that love actually came in. What I'm trying to say is you got to commit even if it goes to the pit. And that means that if you are frustrated and you don't see how it's going to work, invite God into it. Don't jump out of it and say, God, what's next? And there's no better example than this in the Bible than Joseph, who had a list, who had a dream. Y'all remember his dream? He was the favorite son of his father, and then one day he just got up the curse. Like, y'all, I had the craziest dream last night. Let me tell you all about it. And he gathered his brothers around in Genesis chapter 37, verse 5.

It said one night Joseph had a dream. And when he told his brothers about it, they hated him more. And then he already knew they hated him, but he kept telling him the dream. So he said, listen, guys, we were out in the field tying up bundles of grade. And suddenly my bundles stood up and your bundles dropped it low and gathered and bowed before mine. His brothers responded, so you think you're going to be our king? Do you? You actually think you will reign over us.

And they hated him all the more because of his dream and the way he talked about them. Now, I started thinking about this idea as far as our relationships, our businesses, all the things we want to happen. Like God gives us a dream and we have a dream person or a dream idea or a list. Look how I think Joseph lists would have gone. list would have said something like he had a dream then he got support and then he got an opportunity and then he went for promotion to promotion and then it was the palace glory audio that's what we think our life what christ looks like it's this list but do you know what actually happened is he had a dream but then he was betrayed by the people closest to him he was sold into slavery he was put into prison

And he still got the palace. One plus one equals 19? And that's how many of our relationships look. It's like, how do you and you, with all of that turn out to be this? That is the hand of God in a relationship. And that's what happens when you take your list and you rip it up. So Joseph now has to walk through these seasons, like many of you are having to walk through these seasons relationally, as a single person, after divorce, widowed, wherever you're at right now.

And I want to just give you a couple of principles. Everybody shout at me principles. To help you live your life relationally that will help you win in relationships. Because my question is, what happens when the dream drops? When the list hits a pit? See, the path to the palace many times. passes through the pit. I need you to understand that. Wherever you're going, the good that God has intended for you, many times, and you can go throughout all of scripture, nobody is void

of a pit at some moment. Can I tell you about my pit? Relationship goes, blows up. Everybody wants me to come speak. It goes number one New York time bestseller. At the same time we find out our son has autism. He's five years old, almost six, does not speak full sentences to this day. Before I came here, I'm taking him to therapy. I'm the man of crazy faith, but I'm still in a pit. Why am I up here with such conviction? It's because I know God can still be faithful even when you're in a pit. I came to identify. with people who've been lonely for years, for people who've been a struggling relationship for years,

just because you're in a pit does not mean it's over. And I want to encourage you to continue to move. Why am I up here preaching while my pregnant wife is at home having to try to get my son to eat gluten-free chicken nuggets right now because it's the only thing he will eat? It's because I've got to keep moving. even though everything in me wants to just lay down and quit. I came to tell you I'm standing here as a testimony to you today.

Do not quit in the pit. I'm feeling something happening right now. See, the relationship that all of us desire will take work that you don't see now. Yeah, the relationship you desire will take unforeseen work. That's why Psalms 23, 4 says, Yay, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I want to pull your attention to one word, through. It's not a word of though I stop in the valley.

Though I get tired and sit down in the valley. I am walking, everybody shout at me through. I don't care if you have to inch your way day by day. I believe that God's word is all about progression, not perfection. So even if, I'm going to get real, real, I'm going to do like you, I was at my church right now, even if you have to get down and it hurts and it's hard and nobody can see what you're really going through, If you don't quit, the pit will become your platform. I'm telling somebody right now, your lowest moment will be the place of your greatest testimony.

The place where you are that broken will be the place that God brings deliverance and healing for others. Everybody shout at me through. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I'll fear no evil. Why? For thou art with me. God told me to tell you wherever you are relationally, he's with you. No matter how broken it's been, he's with you. No matter if you didn't get the certification or the degree or they turned you down for the house loan and they didn't give you the thing that you needed to go to the next level. He is with you. Somebody say God's with me. And this is the theme of Joseph's life, that no matter if he went in a pit, no matter if he was relationally battered, bruised, and

scarred, God was with him. Genesis 3723. So when Joseph arrived, his brothers ripped. Uh-oh, there's that ripped again. He was ripped of what he thought he was going to be living in, his beautiful robe, and then they grabbed him and threw him into a system. And what ended up happening in verse 36, meanwhile, the Midianite traders arrived at. in Egypt where they sold Joseph to Potipher, an officer of Pharaoh, the king of Egypt. Potiphar was the captain of the palace guard. I want to tell you a reason why you need to rip up your list. Because the betrayal wasn't meant to break you. The betrayal was allowed to take you. See, Joseph had to rip up his list for what he thought was going to happen because God had a plan

that he wanted to prevail. But Joseph would have never left his daddy. his house had there not been some hurt involved. There's some stuff you've gone through that you said, why in the world did this happen? It's the only thing that would make you move. And you can't see it now. And I know those were your best that said. But they left. And he left me at the altar. After we paid, do you know how much these roses cost? And they're gone and they left the church. And we did this together. God said, there's some things I allow, because it's the only thing I'll make you move. If we're going to get to the palace, to the purpose I have for you, there's no way you would have left that if I would have just told you. You're too comfortable. You're too committed to your

list. And God said, they had to walk out. They had to leave. You had to get denied for that school. because if you would have got into that school, you would have followed them. I needed you over here separate so I could give you a vision. Somebody say it had to happen. Yeah, yeah. The portrayal wasn't meant to break you. It was meant to take you. The worst relational devastation is many times God's vehicle of transportation.

It's the thing that he uses to take you. And the thing I'm asking you to do, no matter if you've done, you've failed in relationships or you're brokenhearted right now or it's not working out, look for God's favor in the failure. His brothers portrayed him, but he ends up in this guy named Potiphar's house. And there was favor there for Joseph even in a failure. And I'm asking you, are you so broken and so mad

and so frustrated by what has happened and who left and what didn't work that you're missing God's favor even in the failure? Look at it. Genesis 392. It says, and the Lord was with Joseph. What happens when you fail? And God's like, I'm right here. What happens when it's like, this is the worst thing that ever happened? And God's like, your boy.

This is the God we serve. That at your lowest moment, at the breakup, at the divorce, at the pain, at the mistake, God's like, I'm right here with you. And if I be for you, then who can be? against you. Somebody say who. Yeah, no, no, you got to say it with a high pitch. Like, who? Who can be against you if God's saying, Joseph had an advantage of even though he was in a failed situation. At this point, he had to rip up his list. I've been betrayed by the people closest to me. I've been sold into slavery. I was a king where I was at. I was loved and distinguished where I was at.

and many of us would rather be in a good situation without God instead of take a bad situation with him. Most of us would have rather been at the house and God not helping lead you to your purpose. But that's why you got to rip up your list. Why are you saying this, Pastor Mike? Because this is my life. I thought I was going to be somewhere completely different in life.

And then I find myself leading 30. and 14 snotty knows your old. I don't even know what I'm saying. Youth. Snoddy year old. That's what I said. Didn't even know if they wanted to be saved. I had the talent and the gifting to be making music for everybody. And God said, yeah, no. Let's go to the pit. Let's go to a place where they don't even ask for your gifting. They don't even know you do any of that. And I want you to care here. I want you to produce here. I want you to stay faithful here. I want you to represent me here. I didn't know I would be a pastor. I never wrote down, Lord, one day when I have my church. That was the furthest thing from my mind. Pastoring people. Ew. But God saw a palace while I was in a pit.

And look at this. It says, so he succeeded. And everything. he did as he watched this key word served. I came to tell everybody that's in a relationship, looking for a relationship, trying to get out of your relationship, hold up. Serve the season you're in. I'm going to give you a principle that will help you win in relationships. Rip up your list, because faithfully serving the season always produces success. If you faithfully serve the season, well, they just got me mopping. You better. mop like ain't nobody ever mop in the world. Well, they just have me doing data entry. You better type. Well, they don't recognize my gifting. They don't know what I have in me, but God does.

And he's the one over promotion. And he's watching how you faithfully serve the season you are in. My promotion did not come from a person. My promotion did not come from my parents. My promotion did not come from a CEO. Because I was faithfully serving the season I was in. My promotion came from the Lord. The reason that you need to rip up your list is because God is watching how you handle now. The thing about Joseph of why he could go through is because wherever he was found,

he was faithfully serving. Now, I don't know about you, but if I had just been sold into slavery, your boy would have been holding back some things. Like, you're not getting my best. What time am I supposed to be here? What y'all want me to do? How many more times do I have to do it?

But Joseph used his hands in a horrible situation to produce what God placed inside of him. Can I speak to all my single people for a second? Stop waiting on somebody to come in and complete you. Make them fit in to what you already got going. You missed it. Some of y'all so ready. Oh, but when Johnny comes along, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm faithfully working the season. I'm in, baby, what day you want to take me on a date? Let me check my calendar. because I am faithfully serving the season that I'm in. And what it's doing is it's taking you to your next. And what ends up happening is he serves so good that I don't got time to really go into it. Pastor Craig,

I'm going to have to come back another time to really talk through this one. But then he got caught up by a cougar. Did y'all see it? He got caught up by a cougar. He's doing so. Somebody's like, Sally, a cougar? Just to Google it. But what ends up having it is Potiphar's wife begins to look at Joseph and how he's doing what he's doing.

Verse 39. I'm in chapter 39, verse 6. It says, Joseph was very handsome and well built, kind of like your boy. And Potiphar's wife soon began to look at him lustfully. Come and sleep with me, she demanded. But Joseph refused. I just want to give this little tip. He refused to look. Some of y'all give yourself too much credit. Oh, I can watch it. I mean, I'm an adult. Joseph was so committed to staying in the place that God had placed him, even though to everybody else it would have been a bad situation that when the cougar came out probably naked,

and he wasn't like, what you're talking about? What you're saying? Hey, what is? Wow, he didn't do that. I don't know. Me, I would have been like, what? What is it? Huh?

Bible says he didn't even look. He told her, my master has trusted me with everything in the entire household. No one has more than I am. No more authority than I do. He has held back nothing from me except you because you are his wife. How could I do such a wicked thing? It would be a great sin against, Potiphar, your integrity. What you do when nobody's looking.

is more important in this day and age than ever before. Yeah, you could talk to them and slide into the DMs and text your old classmate. You see how quiet it just got? I'm stepping on somebody's toss. Yeah, you Facebook and old classmates. And trying to get into this other space. And God said this season, I need you to rip up your list and live in integrity.

because from this moment his integrity, watch this, didn't get him a promotion. He got light on again. She said, oh my God! And he said, and they're like, I didn't do anything. But remember, the pit was not to kill him. It was to take him. He didn't get shipped off to the king's jail. he gets put in prison.

And do you know what Joseph still did that I don't know if I would have had the courage to do? Is he still used his gift in prison? Rip up your list because prisons become platforms. Wherever you are right now, it may feel like the lowest point of your life. It may feel frustrating. You may be relationally in a spot that you can't see how I'm going to get out of this. But stop thinking about what it should have been and what it could have been. and what you wish it would be, start being very intentional in the moment you are and saying,

God, what do you want to do with me here? If I'm at my Potiphar's house, what do you want to do with me here? If I'm single, what do you want to do with me here? If I'm married, what do you want to do with me here? If I'm divorced, what do you want to do with me here? If I'm at failed relationship after failed relationship, what do you want to do with me here? If I'm in prison, what do you want to do with me here? It was the prison that turned into the place that would,

elevate Joseph as he used his gift and interpreted dreams and did the thing that God placed in him and didn't become jaded because he went to the pit. Today I just need to speak to people who have become jaded relationally. You're either over it or you've lost faith that it can even happen. And God's saying, would you please just invite me back into the situation? Remember what it kept saying? And God was with Joseph. And I came all the way from talking. And I came all the way from also to tell you, and God is with you. Whether it's with your brothers in the field, whether it's in the bottom of a cistern, whether it's in Potipher's house or the prison, God is with you. Joseph, Genesis 3921, but the Lord was with Joseph in prison and showed him his faithful love,

even in that low moment. And the Lord made Joseph a favorite with the prison warden. Before long, the warden put Joseph in charge. How are you in charge in jail? How are you a boss in jail? He put him in charge of all the other prisoners over everything that happened in prison. The warden had no more worries

because Joseph took care of everything. He used this gift in the pit. And the Lord was with him and caused everything he did to succeed. rip up your list and let God rewrite it. Joseph goes on to be second in command over the entire country. Because he said, yeah, the dream you gave me, I thought it was going to happen like this. But when I saw that, it was going a different way.

Many of the plans of a man. But the Lord's purpose prevails. He ripped up his list. And he still got the palace. Can I just encourage you, even though the journey has been jacked up. Can I say at that plane? It been jacked up. You can still get to the purpose of God over your life.

If this message is for you in any way, I want to pray that you wouldn't quit in the pit. I don't care what it is. It may be relationally. It may be in business. It may be with your family. But if this is hitting you anywhere in your heart, because it hit me before. before I came here, I can't preach anything that I'm not going through. I remember the pit that me and Natalie Irons, and then I remember that God is with us.

Today I want to pray for you. Would you just, if you're comfortable at every campus, would you just lift your hands right now? I'm going to pray a prayer that would help you go through and to remember God is with you. Father, here we are. Some of us, we're in a palace and others of us, God, we're in the pit. But today, we're asking, like you were with Joseph, would you be with us? would you be with us? God, there are my brothers and sisters that are crying out for things to change right now, God, and it's not going the way that they thought it would be. But God, I thank you that

in this moment our perspective is changing. And now we're looking to you. I thank you, Father, that you would encourage my brothers and sisters to not quit in the pit. Father, in every list we made without you for our marriages, for our families, for our home. for our love. Today, God, we're making a commitment and we rip up the list. Have your way in our lives, God. And I thank you that when we get to our palace,

we will be careful to give you all the glory, all the honor, and all the praise. In Jesus' name, we agree. Somebody say, amen. Life Church, thank you so much. I love you and I can't wait to be back with you again. Peace you, thank you, no. Come on, church, show some honor today.

Isn't it great to be together with people when God speaks a word directly to you? And I know that God is speaking to so many of you today. I just want to stay in an attitude of prayer. We talked earlier that every week is a good week to bring someone to church. Guess what? The presence of God is working even now.

And there may be someone in your life right now, you feel like you're in a pit. You might be at a really, really low place, a really low place. Maybe God would allow you to get to a place that's so low, all you can do is look up and call on him. Others of you, you may feel more like you're in the palace, like things are good right now, but yet there's an emptiness inside, and you're searching, and you've searched, and you've gotten what you've been looking for, but the void is still there.

Why, maybe, because what you really need is not what's on the outside, but a God who wants to fill your life with his love on the inside. Father, I just ask today that by the power of your spirit, you would draw people, whether they're low in life, just coasting through life or maybe even on a high, that they see that more than anything else, God, we need your son, we need your grace, we need your presence, we need your power. God, we thank you that you are with us, and we want to invite you to lead us, to be our savior, to be our king.

And all of our churches, or those of you watching online today, you may be at a really low place, and you may have gotten there, even on your own decisions, you've made bad and sinful decisions, or you may be in a great place right now, and you recognize that even though you've got what you thought you wanted, you're still empty on the inside. Maybe it's because you have a Christ-shaped void in your life. Whether you're high, whether you're low, I want you to know right now at this moment that our God loves you,

that you're not watching this by accident, that it's by the power of his spirit and because of his love and his grace, he brought you here to this moment right now. What do you do if you recognize you're hurting? What do you do if you recognize you're empty? We're going to go to the living water, the only one who can satisfy. The truth is, the reality is all of us have sinned, and we fall short of God's standard.

We've all messed up. But even better news than I could ever describe is that God loves you exactly where you are. He sent his son Jesus, who is perfect in every way, who gave his life, was buried and raised from the dead so that anyone, and this includes you, doesn't matter what you've done, doesn't matter how dark your life is, doesn't matter how much you hurt anyone, who calls on the name of Jesus,

the name that is above every name. When you cry unto Jesus, God, hears your prayers and he forgives your sins. You may be low right now. You may be so low. All you can do is look up. Or you may be on top of the world and you recognize you're still empty.

You know there's more and you can't find it anywhere. Maybe it's Jesus that you're looking for today at all of our churches or those of you online. You need his grace. You need his love. You need his forgiveness.

I'm going to encourage you to step away from your sinful life. step into the presence of a God who loves you. Cry out to Jesus when you do. God will hear your prayer. He'll forgive every sin and he will make you brand new today. Those of you watching wherever you are say yes, I need his grace. I need his forgiveness.

Today I surrender my life to Jesus. That's your prayer. Would you just lift your hands now? All of our churches say, yes, I'm giving my life to Jesus. Can somebody tell God thank you. We praise you, God, for your work today. those of you online just type it in the chat i'm giving my life to jesus wherever you are god knows the cry of your heart i'd love it if you would just pray aloud if you're comfortable with those

around you nobody prays alone just pray heavenly father i surrender my life i rip up my list i give it all to you jesus forgive my sins change me make me new fill me with your spirit so I can honor you and all that I do my life is not my own I give it to you thank you for new life in Jesus name I pray would somebody thank God for his goodness thank God for his grace welcome those born into God's family