Life.Church with Craig Groeschel - Date for Your Soulmate | Modern Romance: Part 2

Episode Date: June 13, 2021

Relationships are complicated, but do they have to be? How do you know if your one is "the one"? Can a book as old as the Bible help relationships today? We’re talking about being single, dating, marriage, and more in our new series, Modern Romance.Learn more about Modern Romance: www.life.church/modernromanceStart the Modern Romance Bible Plan: www.go2.lc/modernromanceWE’RE OPENWe’re continuing to monitor guidelines and best practices for gathering in a safe way. Learn more about everything we're doing to keep you safe and how you can help by using hand sanitizer, washing your hands often, and more: https://www.life.church/updatesFind a time and attend a service with us: http://www.life.church/locationsNEXT STEPSHave you made a decision to follow Jesus? You may be wondering what’s next on your journey. We want to help! Let us guide you to your next steps in your walk with Christ: https://www.life.church/nextABOUT LIFE.CHURCHWherever you are in life, you have a purpose. Life.Church wants to help you find your next step. Our hope is that your journey will include joining us at a Life.Church location throughout the United States or globally online at https://www.live.life.church. Find locations, videos, and more info about us at https://www.life.church or download the Life.Church app at https://www.life.church/app. FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIAFacebook: http://www.facebook.com/life.churchInstagram: http://www.instagram.com/life.churchTwitter: http://www.twitter.com/lifechurchCONNECT WITH PASTOR CRAIGYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIIdiIO-Y20hRW9niR0CA8AFacebook: http://www.facebook.com/craiggroeschelInstagram: http://www.instagram.com/craiggroeschelTwitter: http://www.twitter.com/craiggroeschel #lifechurch #biancaolthoff #christiandating Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Well, welcome back. I'm so excited that we get to dive into God's Word in a series that we have been titled Modern Romance. Now, this is a short series, but I believe that this book of antiquity can speak to us in modernity. If you were with us last week, you'll know that we were in the Old Testament, kicked it old school with some poetry. Well, now we're in the New Testament, and we're going to get some theology from our brother Paul the apostle. Last week, we spoke about attraction and desire. This week, we're going to talk about the concept of soulmate. Can I talk about the concept of soulmates? Do I have a soulmate? Do you have a soulmate? Is there one person out there that is going to, in a complete Jerry McGuire moment, you complete me. Is that moment ever going to happen? Now, when I graduated college, I am a pastor's kid that swore I was never going to marry a pastor. I married the worst kind of pastor, the missions pastor, because, you know, they want to give all their money away and love the Lord. I love Matt Oltoff and the God called upon his life. I love Matt Oltoff and the God called upon his last. life, but when I graduated college, I was single, and I realized that the church did a phenomenal

job at creating and crafting messages for married folk, and the church did a phenomenal job at meeting the needs of children and teens. But when I graduated college as a single woman, I realized, where did I fit? If I didn't fit the quintessential box, then I didn't know where I belong. And so I think that these conversations are super important. I'm so grateful for the leadership of Pastor Craig, caring about his sheep in different stations and seasons of life, because you might be single. You might be single again, coming at a divorce or broken relationship. You might be married or even widowed. But I believe that the Word of God is practical and applicable to our lives every single day. Can I get an amen? So I'm going to speak really quick to the singles

in the place. If you're single, you'll probably find yourself in one of these three categories. Maybe you find yourself saying, well, I am a single like a pringle, ready to mingle. Hey, glory to God. I'm ready. Maybe you are in a single station where you are coming out of a relationship or a divorce and you just feel like I'm single by choice. I'm not ready. Maybe you are single and you've been single for a minute and you are like, I'm doing all the right things. I'm praying, I'm fasting, I'm believing, I'm doing homework, I'm getting out on Christian mingle and e-harmony. Like, I'm doing it and I'm still single. Wherever you find yourself on this spectrum, I had said this last week and I want to reiterate it again. You do not need a significant other to be single.

significant. I said this last week, I'm going to say it again. Your singleness is not a disease. Your singleness is not a curse. Your singleness is not a downgrade. Getting married isn't the prize for being more pretty or more holy. No. And maybe you're sitting here thinking, well, Bianca, you're married. And that's true. But for a long time, I wasn't. And I remember the sting and the pain of serving youth ministry and serving kids for three years, four years, five years and pretty soon you start getting their wedding invitations and you RCP for one. When all of a sudden the wedding engagement invitations increased to wedding invitations, then you get baby shower invitations and pretty soon you're at toddler birthday parties,

eating hors d'oeuvres by yourself, drinking water down punch thinking, what's wrong with me? Is that just me? Anyone out there? Yeah. There's some singles who might feel me. My hope and why I'm so passionate about getting relationships right, is that if you don't understand dating and God's timing, God's will and God's time, we can compromise and we can hijack God's will for our life. So here's a dating equation for our single or single again, friends. The right person at the wrong time is the wrong relationship. Ooh, I'm saving you therapy. Somebody over here. Send me a thank you. No. The wrong person at the right time is the wrong relationship. The wrong person at the wrong time,

that's a real wrong relationship. But the right person at the right time, that is the right relationship. And if you're looking for somebody to validate you or make you whole or fixed you, you will be sadly disappointed. The only person that can make us whole is God. In him we are complete. In him is the fullness of life. The significance you crave isn't going to come from a significant other.

The significance that you crave is going to come from the world. who made you, your wholeness that you desire can only be found and achieved in a holy God who could make you whole. So once we've established that for our single friends, let me just tell you that I have made so many dating mistakes. I am the quintessential poster kid for how to do dating wrong. So let my pain have a purpose in your life today. Okay. If you are here and you are visiting, I know that there might be some people that are saying amen, shouting down, hallelujah. Listen, my daddy is a preacher still to this day in East Los Angeles, California, aka the hood. And when daddy says something good, people are like, amen.

Hallelujah. Take me to Zion. So whoever you are, you have the ability here in the house of God to holler back, say amen. Why do we do that? When the Spirit of God is moving internally, we express it externally and faith fills the room. That's why. I'm just not the charismatic type. Are you the Jesus type?

You got permission today. Okay. Now let's open up the Word of God. All right. First Corinthians chapter 13 begins from my Bible boyfriend, Paul the Apostle, who says this. Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. Oh, Hallelujah. That's an amen right there. It does not dishonor others. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no records of wrong. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth. Hallelujah. It always protects, always trust, always.

hopes always perseveres, love never fails. Now, when I was in graduate school, I had to study platonic philosophy, philosophy from work coming from Plato. And it was then that I realized we had been duped, we have been lied to, we have been bamboozled in thinking that there is one person out there in the cosmic universe that can complete me and make me whole. Do you know where our understanding of soulmate comes from? The philosopher Plato had a cohort of learners and thinkers and playwrights.

One of them with this guy named Aristophanes. Don't remember his name, not important. He was the one that wrote a fable, a fake story, a fictitious story, saying that the gods were upset with humans and cut us in half and split our soul. The souls wandered the earth looking aimlessly for their other half who can complete them. Do you understand that from all movies, from Disney fairy tales to regular fairy tales to rom-coms, it is this idea that there is one person out there, my kismet match, who can complete me? that is a lie from the pit of hell, okay? We are complete only in Christ. And if we don't understand this

concept, we're going to be thinking married or single, is this my soulmate? Is this the person to fulfill me and make me whole? Our soul is a huge component in our relationships. If you're a note taker, the title of today's message is date for your soulmate. All right? I was raised on Sesame Street and I like things that rhyme. All right. Here we go. This message is not just for single folk. This message is for all of us in whatever spectrum and season of station of life that we are in. Because even if we are married, we still need to actively pursue our partner as a soulmate. Now, I want to make sure that we're unpacking and have a clear understanding of our soul. The definition of soul is the invisible, intangible, psychological, and emotional part

of our existence. That's the soul. The soul. The soul is super important. I love Mark 837. Jesus says, is anything worth more than your soul? I love in 3rd John, chapter 2, John says, Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that it may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. So John is writing to believers as much as I'm speaking to believers,

and what he's saying is, as it is with your soul, as it is with your life. If your soul is good, your life will follow. So remember, the soul is the invisible, intangible, psychological, and emotional part of our existence. And that includes our mind, our will, and our emotion. So if our soul is good, we are good. Am I laying a case? Can you holler back and say amen?

Now, last week, I didn't talk fast. You listen slow. Okay? I'm Mexican, which means I got lots of words and I could say them in a package amount of time. So I want you to put your notebooks, pull your notepads, your notepads, your pins, your highlighters, and your Bible. And though I totally disagree with the world's concept of soulmate, what I do believe, and we will intertwine scripture with,

is that I believe that God can desten us spiritual soulmates. Now, when we say the word soulmate, when you ask somebody what's a soulmate, according to Webster's dictionary.com, urban dictionary, or dictionary.com as a whole, they will always include words like fate, destiny, kismet, as if like, I'm going to find this person and they're going to finish my sentences and you know where they got that language from? Aristophanes, a fictitious fairy tale that we're building a life of lies upon.

So what is a spiritual soulmate? A spiritual soulmate for the note takers in the house is someone you are attracted to physically. Remember last week's message? Hello, attraction. Who shapes you emotionally and is suited for you personally. Let me say that again from a homeschool brothers and sisters because I was. was homeschooled. A soulmate is someone who you are attracted to physically, who shapes you emotionally and is suited for you purposefully. So God has plucked a person and placed a partner in your life

for a purpose, okay? Single people. We should be using language that says, Jesus, you pick for me. Clearly, I've gotten it wrong, all right? Jesus, you pick for me. Now, this is important to say, because my husband, I am wife 2.0. He got the upgrade. Hello. All right. After his divorce, for biblical reasons. After his divorce, for biblical reasons. I clarify, because there's going to be somebody that's like, oh, this is wrong. Biblical reasons, hello, all right. Is that he was meeting with his pastor, and there was a group of friends that had encouraged him after he had gone through a restoration period. He's in great godly counseling, had to say, hey, you need to start dating again, but it was his pastor who wisely said, Matt, because of your brokenness, because of your pain,

trauma that has happened to you, your picker is broken. Because of your trauma, you're picking what feels easy rather than what the Lord has destined to you, what you feel comfortable with. So your brokenness is matching with someone else's brokenness. It was important they did people around him that were helping him pick correctly. So we have to pick for a purpose. Specifically, this is for my single friends up in here.

Like I said, you'd be blessed a little bit more today. I'm going to give you some freezes and some funsies today. You've got to pick for a purpose. Well, what does that look like? If you are a corporate CEO, and you have ambitions of being on Forbes 100 and creating great profit margins that are going to support the globe and the church, and you want to date somebody that has a heart to deworm children in Somalia and live in a mud hut

that's probably not compatible. Are you with me? If you have a call of ministry upon your life, you want to serve an NGO, you have a heart to give back, and you want to date someone who's a Instagram influencer who loves frothy beverages and wants to vacation every weekend and Instagram about it, probably not a good match. Are you with me? You've got a pick for people. purpose. Now, nothing's wrong with either of those, but you've got to know what you want and what you need. Dating isn't a status that you sit in. I'm not going to date for five years. Make a decision, right? Come on. Dating is not a status that you sit in. It's a season you move through to determine, is this person for me? I've got to pick for purpose. If it's God's will for you to get married, you must be responsible and

cautious to vet people, because is this a mate for your soul? Can this? Can this? be a mate for your soul. You aren't just marrying this person for love. You are marrying this person for destiny. It is not just for a good time and fun kicks on Friday nights. This is the person that you will build your life with. And I am so passionate about healthy relationships because relationships can pull us up to our calling and our destiny or pull us out of our purpose. How many people have seen, don't raise your hand because I'm going to shame anyone in here, but how many of us have seen relationships that we're starting so right and so good and so godly and one of them pulled someone out of their God-given destiny.

This matters, and it matters because we grossly underestimate the power of our enemy. Satan wants to come against marriages, because the enemy knows the power of souls co-mingling together, a power of two people that coming together with a God, destiny, and purpose. And when your soul aligns with someone else's soul, let's just say spiritual soulmates, then I am going to bless the world because of what God is going to do through two people. Why does the enemy want to stop? Because the enemy knows when two people's visions align, when two people's God calls a line,

when two people are in sync and in one mind, the enemy is frightened because of what God is going to do through this united couple. So friends, no takers, family in the house. You don't want a classmate, a roommate, or a life mate. You want a spiritual soulmate, all right? because when two souls connect, not just their lives are blessed because of it, those around them, and dare I say, the globe is blessed by it. So you need to date for your soulmate.

All right. So in studying this and being passionate about this concept, I pulled out four things to teach you on how to date. And yes, married friends, this is for us as well. Each of the four points that rhyme, thank you, Sesame Street, are going to teach us how to date for your soulmate. I'm going to give them to you, and then we're going to unpack the number one, is intentionality. Number two is clarity. Number three is strategy and four is timely. Let's go ahead and unpack the first one. Intentionality. Proverbs 169 says this. In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. So the big question, the big question that I'm asked all the time

is who initiates? Well, there needs to be a game plan. If their first one is intentionality, we see that the Lord orchestrates our steps, intentionality is having a game planned with an end goal. You're not just going to kick it like a cricket because it's cool. You're going to date someone to see if they could be your mate for life, okay? Because I believe when you marry, you're married for life. I've told my husband, you can leave, but I'm coming with me. Latinos, we're loyal, all right? I'll kill somebody for you.

All right, glory to God. Don't judge me. So the question that people are always asking is in dating who initiates? Well, statistically speaking, Pew Research at 2018, realized that 87% believe that men should initiate. According to my own Instagram poll of over 15,000 people, 92% believe that men should initiate. Well, I am not going to be biased. I'm going to be a little bit progressive and advocate whoever. And I back this up with some theology.

In Proverbs, we are told that a man who finds a wife finds a good thing. So that lets us know, that gives us a clue, it gives us a hint that the man initiates. Oh, but Bible scholars, in the book of Ruth, a woman, a Moabitus from the land of Moab, who was barren, laid at the feet of her kinsman Redeemer Boaz. And she said, boom me up, baby, don't be a bozo. Put your garment over me. You know what that is? A Hebrew idiom for marry me.

So I don't know who should initiate, but there's biblical resource for both. Now let me clarify as a woman. You don't want to go up to a single brother and be like, yo, bro, let me have her babies, I'm ready, you know? That's weird. Creepy Christian dating. That's weird. If you're a brother, don't go up to a girl and say, I will offer you 72 camels for your hands in marriage. That's weird. If it's weird, it's because you're weird, all right? Creepy Christian dating, no more. We get to redefine what normalcy looks like. Now, I subscribe to the school of thought of a taxi light theory. If you have been to New York or maybe even use Lyft or Uber,

how do you know that the car is open and available? Their taxi light is on. So what does that mean? Sparkle, baby sparkle. If you are walking around mean mugging, like, oh, they got to see that I'm available. They've got to come and find my heart like a treasure map. In Spanish, there's this word, carada fuci. That means like a stink face. You know, they're walking around like this. Something smells. I don't like it. Don't be surprised if nobody asks you out, okay? You have your taxi light on, begin to sparkle, ask someone out for coffee. It's a coffee date, not a marriage proposal. Hello, all right.

Look at verse five. Paul encourages us. He said, love does not dishonor others. It is not self-seeking. Now, though the Bible doesn't say a whole lot about dating, it does say a lot about relationships. And a sociology professor out of Boston College was realizing, side note, not a Christian. A secular sociologist out of Boston College realized that they, the incoming freshmen did not know how to do relationships.

They didn't know how to ask anyone out. They didn't know how to date. And so she put together a curriculum to teach these incoming freshmen. And here's a few funsies and freezes that I pulled out for us in here today. If you ask somebody out, you pay. You fly, I buy, all right? You put a sharp end time to this. Listen, this is super important to me because I think that sometimes we can read, misread social cues

where we think, they're totally digging me. This is awesome. I found my soulmate. And they're on the other side like, oh, dear God, when I'm at this date going to end? You know, have a hard stop time and honor that. And lastly, a non-Christian professor said, end the date with an A-frame hug. Not a full frontal, get creepy hug, an A-frame hug. Why?

Because a secular sociologist realized that when there is physical intimacy, it complicates things. Look at that. Oh, yes. And this is super important because what happens is when there's physical intimacy, chemistry occurs. And chemistry is a very interesting thing because you can have chemistry with anyone. You can have chemistry with a toxic person. You can have chemistry with a married person. Do not be fooled and think like, oh, when we hold hands, I just fill butterflies in my stomach and I see fireworks.

This is not a Disney movie, friends, all right? What's happening in our brain is that there's dopamine and serotonin that are going through our brain. And guess what? You're on drugs. That's really what's going on. That doesn't mean you found your soulmate. your brain is processing all these happy emotions. And what happens to us, married folk, is that those drugs subside. And we think when that feeling fades, then I've lost that love and feeling, if you know what

I'm saying. The truth of the matter is, is the enemy is looking in for any way to come in and ruin and tear apart spiritual soulmates. So the first thing that we see is intentionality. The second thing we see is clarity. Let the person you are dating know where you're at. And that is also for some married folk. Let's check out what our sponsor, Paul says in verse six, love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth. So for, again, I'm going to speak to both married and single, but for our single friends, let me give you some free coaching. Phase one, if you're thinking like, well, what does clarity look like? Phase one is, hey, I'd like to take you out to grab some coffee. No problem. If they say no, it's not rejection of you. There just isn't that match.

Don't get in your feelings. Don't get emo and paint your nails black. Like just, it's fine, okay? If there are no, move on to the next. There's plenty of fish in the sea. God bless you. If they do say, yes, you're going to proceed to date with caution. Phase two is like, hey, we should have a DTR, defining the relationship. Where are we at? You digging me? I'm digging you?

Great. All right, you floss your teeth, bless God. All right, you're debt-free, praise God. All right, we have those conversations. Then phase three is, did I say phase three for the other one? That was phase two. This is phase three. It's 12 to 15 months in, you're going to have a conversation saying,

are we tracking on the same path? Is there marriage in our future? We're very serious about this because we want to stop wasting time. If you're not interested in somebody, say something. If you are interested in somebody, say something. Ephesians 415 says that we are supposed to speak the truth and love. So when we speak truth, that is love. Clarity is love, providing someone with clarity. That's love. You care for them. I don't think this is working out. That's okay. I bring this up because this is important. I see so many singles having these conversations in communicating through text messages and DMs. Hold up. This is where it gets complicated. If someone wants to slide into your DM, that doesn't provide clarity. What you want. You think I'm funny? Do you like me? Do you want to date me? Do you want to have my kids? Like, what's going on?

So I think it's super, super important that we begin to have clarity. Stop playing games, friends. Stop playing games. games are from little boys that don't want to commit and girls that are petty. We are groans folk, okay? We are defining how we can provide clarity and relationship. What would it be like if the world looked at us and say, whoa, they are doing marriage right. Whoa, they're not getting divorced like we're getting divorced. Whoa, they know how to communicate and have conflict resolution because of the spirit of God residing in them. Oh, wow.

This is the important part of it. And a side note, side note, people are not property. I think in church culture this has to be addressed. What happens in church culture is that if a guy goes out with a girl, then all of a sudden, her and her friends are off property if they break up. People are not property. Okay, I worked for an anti-human trafficking organization for seven years. I'm passionate about this.

I think if it's weird within church, it's because people are weird. We take that messaging back. We can bless and release and know, hey, God has someone or something different for me. Okay. Third is strategy. Look what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13, 7. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. You know what this is?

Strategy. This right here, if you aim at nothing, you will hit nothing, friends. Paul is really encouraging us that we have to have a strategy when it comes to this thing called love. Now, I know that Paul is speaking about love in general, but I personally believe that we could take these principles from a book of antiquity and have it speak to us in modernity. So do you have a strategy for dating? married folk and single folk. This is important. Do you have a strategy for dating? What will you expect of a person

in dating and what will they expect from you? So Matt and I are married. We actually had a date last night and we outworked this. I said, I'm going to date from my soulmate. In our relationship, there are things that we do not talk about when we go on dates. One is our work. Two, our finances. And three, our kids. Those are triggers. When we first started dating when we were married, I use dates as conflict resolution time, aka, let me tell you all the things you've been doing wrong, okay? And what it did is that it ruined that moment that was supposed to be intimate and bring us back together. And so there's those things that are non-negotiables. We do not talk about this. Now, when you are dating someone, you have to begin to ask the question, does this person

protect me? Because love always protects. Does this person have hope for our relationship? Because love always has hope. Do you trust the person you're dating because love has to be trusted? Now, I want to have a strategy in dating. Now, for my singles, within intentional dating, within intentional dating, you are intentionally trying to know someone, get to know someone. So what is not dating? This is how you don't show up on a date. You don't show up to date with a laminated resume, okay?

This happened to me, hand to heaven. Do not do that. For my females in the place with silent grace, if you're a biological clock is ticking, and you hear it, don't talk about menstruation. or your child-bearing dreams, okay? Hand to heaven. I was on a double date with my friends, and I was kicking her under the table. Please stop. It's weird because you're weird. And even if you guys are viving each other, dating is not talking about honeymoon locations

and naming your children. It's weird. You're dating, okay? You're just checking this out. And again, hey, for my married folk, be intentional in dating for singles and marrieds. Make sure and ask probing questions. Make sure and look at each other in the eye. Put your phone away. Nothing else matters. In psychology, there's this beautiful term called mirroring, that when you are sitting opposite next to somebody,

if they move, you move. And you move, they move, just like that. It is called some of the carnal folk got that song reference. What it does is that you're communicating to the other person. I'm so in tune with you. I'm viving with you. I want to have communication with you. when you date for your soulmate, I firmly believe if you do this right, there will be less,

you will still be hurt. But if it doesn't work out, there'll be less connection points and sticky points in the relationship, because you're doing this well and you're doing this right. Lastly, is timely. I need the single folks specifically, married folks, this applies to us to, but for the single folks specifically, what are you doing with your time? What are you doing with the time that God has given you? Is it your time to be married? Now, what are we doing with the seed of time and how are we sewing it? So for my single friends, this is your time to create. This is your time to invest.

This is your time to produce. And I see so many of my single friends squandering their time away. Well, on Netflix and chilling with people that are not going to be in their destiny. We cannot squander our time. Married folk, what are we doing with our time? How are we investing our finances? How are we rearing our children? How are we giving back to church, sewing back to the kingdom, getting involved in a local community?

What are we doing to build up those around us? Are we squandering our time? When you look at your life next year, will you be the person that you envision today? How are you leveraging your time? And there's a time to meet somebody, there's a time to know them, there's a time to date, and if it's the right time and God's will, it's the right time to get married. But there's two things I want us to hang on to. God's time and God's will.

If you rush things, there's a danger in that. Catch your breath. Take a moment. If you try opening up a rosebud before it blooms, you will ruin it. The same is true of relationships. If you try to rush through it, it will, it will, if it's God's will for you to be with someone. Do it in God's timing. And one of the things that can help us, and I said this last week, and I reiterate it today, is my dating equation, dating equation, the right person at the wrong. time is the wrong relationship. The wrong person at the right time, wrong relationship. The wrong person at the wrong time, wrong relationship. But the right person at the right time provides the right relationship. So what do you do to date for your soulmate? Friends, there needs to be intentionality. There needs to be a strategy. How do you want to win at this relationship? Number two, there needs to be clarity, identifying. What are the things that is going on in your relationship? Three, there has to be a strategy and a game plan. And lastly, begin to ask yourself, is this the right time? My heart and my hope in this series is that we have tools, not just that would make us feel fun and we can laugh at,

but tools that we apply to our life to change us, to give us vision for our future, to begin to heal our hearts and begin to put hope for those that need a second chance at relationship. So I'm going to pray a prayer of faith over this house, over every location, over every person that is listening live or online, and believe that the Spirit of God will give you revelation to what you need today. The Spirit of the Living God, we invite you into this place and we say, have your way with us. We know, Lord, God, that you have a plan and a purpose for our life, whether we are married or single.

So I pray, Lord, that you begin to reveal to us now your will for our life and what you want us to do. To you be the glory with our life, married or single, with your. children or buried. You have called Lord us to go into the nations and proclaim your name. So will you give us what we need, when we need, and how we need it in whatever station, season of life that we are in, to you be the glory with our life forever and ever in Jesus' name. Amen. God bless you guys. Amen. Love you. Oh. Come on life church, LaSelle. Bianca, thank you. I am so

grateful for your love for God and just making this practical and fun as one who's been married for 30 years. If there's anything that's God honoring any successful in our relationship, it didn't happen by accident. You don't just stumble into a relationship that honors God. And so I really do. I pray that as a church, we would be intentional. And we'd have a clear strategy. And we would have clarity. What is it that we're looking for? And we're looking for the top. hymeness. We're not just looking for the right person. We want to be the right person. So we'll draw the right person. So Father, we ask in the name of your son, Jesus, make us the right person and the way we honor you, God, that we're sensitive to your voice and your steps. And I just echo what

Bianca said. I pray a prayer of blessing over our church today. God, I'm just thinking about some of my kids that are old enough now even to start looking around and surveying. God, is there a person you have for me. And I pray, God, for wisdom. I pray for intentionality for all those who are not married, but would hope one day you'd bless him with a marriage. God, may we be intentional in seeking you today in our life groups and the way we serve that you're conforming us to the image of your son, Jesus. God, give us eyes to see where you're working in the hearts of people. And we pray in all of our relationships, friendships, if we're dating, and certainly when we're married that we would honor you. those relationships give us clarity for marriages, God.

We ask for clarity, for intentionality of purpose and meaning that we'd be centered around your son, Jesus, where there's hurts and pain and maybe some even wondering if they can make it. We ask that by your power through your spirit, you'd bring healing in our marriages. We thank you that you're a good God, that you're the author of relationships, and you will direct our steps. As you're praying today without looking around, we're talking about. we're talking a little bit about dating and I just wonder how many of you may be like dating God meaning you're kicking the tires but you're not fully committed I believe with all my heart that

that God wants every bit of us our command the greatest of all is to love him to love him with all of our heart all of our mind all of our soul all of our strength and the great thing is he loved first you want to talk about who initiated he initiated while we were still sinning Jesus gave his life for us. God became one of us in the person of his son, Jesus, and showed his love for us on a cross and gave his life. Today at all of our churches, some of you may recognize you might kind of like believe in God, but you're not really walking with them. Or maybe you feel really, really far from God and you think I've done so many things that are wrong. What I want you to understand is that God loves you exactly as you are, and he's drawing you today. You're not here or you're not watching by

accidents because of the goodness, the grace of God, his loving kindness is drawing you. What do you do? When you recognize, you don't know him intimately. You just confess your sins. Our sins separates us from God. We've all sinned. God, forgive me. And when you ask for forgiveness, he does forgive you. And you just tell God, you want to get to know him. And the great news is, he will reveal himself to you. And no matter what you've done, he'll forgive you, he'll make you new. He'll reveal His love and you can walk intimately with him daily. All of our churches are those watching online. You'd say, maybe I don't know him, but I want to.

I want forgiveness of my sins. Today we're just going to pray a very simple prayer. I believe God's going to forgive you. He's going to make you new wherever you're watching. Those who say, yes, Jesus, I want you to forgive me. Yes, please make me new. Today, I give my life to you. That's your prayer.

Would you just lift up your hands right now and say, yes, Jesus. Lift up your hands. Those of you online, you can just type it. the chat. I'm giving my life to Jesus. I'm giving my life to Jesus. We've got people online today and at all of our church that's just surrendering, walking away from our sin and stepping into a relationship with God. Would you just pray this very simple prayer? Just pray Heavenly Father. I want to get to know you. Please forgive me. Fill me with your spirit so I can walk with you. thank you for your grace, thank you for your love, thank you for your new life.

I'm giving you all of mine, in Jesus' name I pray. Today would you celebrate where you are? Welcome those into God's family.