Life.Church with Craig Groeschel - Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt, Part 1: Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt

Episode Date: April 29, 2018

The people we love the most can wound us the deepest. We hold onto grudges, refuse to forgive, and build up walls to keep the pain away. But healing can’t start until you break down those barriers and learn to Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey everybody, all of our life churches. You chose an amazing day to come and to worship God. I want to just welcome all of you every single life church across the nation. Those of you at our open network churches, we love you, we love your pastor, church online, computer screens all over the world. Thank you for taking time to be with us today. You are absolutely a part of our family. I want to tell you, next week we're starting a brand new message series, but today you're going to be incredibly blessed. I'm going to introduce him to you because there may be somebody here for the first time, but honestly, he's like a part of our family. From Free Chapel Church, one of the greatest preachers alive today,

not just an amazing preacher, but an amazing man with an international television ministry that touches homes all over the world and a heart for people in a powerful way. My good friend, Pastor Jensen, has written a book, and I invited him to come and share on it because I believe so, much in the message of this book. Love like you've never been hurt. We were spent some time together in Sydney and he was telling me the story behind this book and I said, when it comes out, will you please come and share this message of hope, grace, and forgiveness to my church. So many people I know we've been hurt, we've been betrayed, we've been let down, we're carrying

wounds. Today is a day by the grace of God. Things will change. Could you please help me welcome our good friend, Pastor Jensen Franklin. Wow. Thank you so much. Thank you. God bless you. Hey, it's an absolute honor to be back at possibly the greatest church in the world. I think that what God is doing with this ministry and with your pastors, we love Pastor Craig, Pastor Amy. To come preach for him is one of the most intimidating things in the world

because you just get the best every week, and I honor you, and I thank God for your friendship. I'm honored to be a part of what God's doing here, a tiny part. I know that God's going to speak to you today. If you have your Bibles, I'm going to ask you to open them with me to probably a familiar scripture. In 1 Corinthians chapter 14, there are only two subjects in the Bible that God felt were so important that he wanted to give a whole chapter to in the Bible. only two subjects. And one of them is faith, and that's Hebrews chapter 11.

It just goes, by faith, this one did that, and by faith, by faith, by faith. And the other one is 1 Corinthians 13, and it's about love. And as Craig mentioned, I wrote this book, Love Like You've Never Been Hurt. And I'll share in just a few moments how the book came alive in my heart. but my burden today is to help bless families and relationships. 1 Corinthians chapter 13. It's almost like poetry. I love these words, and I'm going to read more than I normally do,

but how many of you know we need to read the Bible in church every once in a while? Though I speak with the tongue of men and angels, but I have not love. I have become sounding brass or clanging symbol, though I have the gift of prophecy and understand mysteries and knowledge and have all faith so that I can remove mountains and so that and I have not love I am nothing for though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor though I give my body to be burned but have not love it profits me nothing love suffers long it's kind it does not envy love does not parade itself it's not puffed up it

does not behave rudely. It thinks no evil. It does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. And I want everybody to read verse 8 with me out loud. Ready, go. Love never fails. Let's say it again. Love never fails. I like to read famous quotes. It's interesting to me how quotes become a part of our culture. And some of the famous quotes and statements that are made that make their way into everyday life. Like it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all by Alfred Tennyson. Knowledge is power.

Francis Bacon said that. Another one, to err is human to forgive is divine. P. Here's one. God helps those that help themselves. How many of you thought that was a Bible verse? Be honest. That was won by Ben Franklin. I want to give you the title of my book, Love Like You've Never Been Hurt, is a quote that the best that they can tell from a man that maybe you never heard about. He was inducted in 1982 as the first African-American pitcher in the American League. He played 20 years of baseball.

His name is Leroy Satchel Page. The amazing thing about him is he played baseball in a time when he was the only black man on the field pitching. And he was criticized. They would yell racial slurs from the stands at him. one of the stories that is verified that's told he was such an amazing athlete that they said that one of the teams in an attempt to humiliate him lined up their four best batters straight up you know normally you go three and then you get your best batter up and then you go three

so that he can knock him in but they took their four best batters and they put them up to try to intimidate him and when satchel page began to pitch before he did it he He said to his outfield, go into the dugout, and he said to the men around the bases, first, second, and third, sit down on the basis. And he went on to pitch against the four professional baseball players, and he struck every one of them out. Many times he played two games a day. He had some famous pitches. One of them was called the B-ball, another one called the Bat Dodger, another one called the Long Tom. but his most famous pitch was one called the hesitation pitch.

It's the most awkward, weird-looking stance, and he would freeze in that position. And when he would, it would throw the batter's timing off, and that's how he struck out so many people. He pitched three innings when he was 60 years old for Kansas City. He had some famous quotes. One of them was, if you want to be a good pitcher, keep the ball off the fat part of the bat. He's also given credit for this quote,

work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody's watching, and then this is the phrase that changed my life in one of the darkest seasons of our family's life. He said after he was attacked and slurred racially by people screaming from the stands at him, they said, how do you feel about that? He said, you've got to love

like you've never been hurt. Sooner or later, everyone under the sound of my voice is going to suffer hurt. You're going to be rejected. You're going to be let down. You're going to be talked about. You're going to have a conflict with somebody probably that you love. You're going to be stabbed in the back. And while I said that, for most of you, a face has already come up before you.

You're thinking of somebody right now that that has happened to. Mark Twain said, if you find a dog on the side of the road this hurt, this starving, this mangy, this dirty, this dying, and you feed that dog, take it home and groom it and nurture it back to health, that dog will never bite you. And then he went on to say, there in lies the major difference between a human being and a dog. Because many times the people that you've loved the most will hurt you, the deepest. Jesus had a famous quote when he said in Matthew 17, offense must come. It's going to happen. You're going to be offended.

You're going to get in conflict with somebody that you love and that you have loved greatly. And at that point, anybody can get along with somebody as long as there's no conflict, as long as you have the same viewpoint, the same theology,

the same lifestyle, everything's good. But what do you do when you get in conflict and you don't agree? You've got to love like you've never been hurt. The truth is some people wake up every morning and the first thing they do is brush their teeth and sharpen their tongue so they can attack you. Somewhere you're going to be hurt. Isn't this an encouraging sermon today? Somewhere you're going to be offended. Somewhere you're going to be deeply wounded. Maybe even with the people you're working with right now. somebody's going to betray you. But you've got to rise up and love like you've never been hurt. I'm just laying a foundation where I want to go. But I thought about Joseph. I thought about how that I love that picture when he's standing and his brothers are brought and he's got the keys to the whole kingdom and all the corn in the world.

He has the keys to the barn. And everybody's starving and his brothers come who threw him in the pit. and the butler is or the baker is there and the people who forgot him and potter forfe's wife who falsely accused him and in that moment when he had the power he had to make a choice i can get them back i can use the weight of the authority and position that i have i can extract my revenge on them right now but joseph made a decision i'm going to love these people who have done so wrong to me like i'm going to love them like i've never been hurt and he saved his family and he saved the world when he chose to love like he had never been hurt. Moses wanted to set God's people free, but he failed. He failed miserably.

And he ends up 40 years in the desert, four decades to think about how he was treated. And then God comes in a burning bush and says, go back to those same people and set them free. And God said, I pet that dog and he bit me. Moses said, I pet that dog, God, and he bit me. I don't want to go back there, but God said, go back and love like you've never been hurt, and he went back and set the people free. There's something that happens when we understand that God has called us to love like we've never been hurt. David had a father who didn't believe in him.

He had brothers who made fun of him and belittled him. He had a wife who put him down and malped his worship. He had a son named Absalom who broke his heart. He had a father-in-law who tried to kill him. And you thought your family was jacked up. You thought your kids were crazy. I'm saying to you that you have to make up your mind in life. I'm not going to be bitter.

I'm not going to be mean. I'm not going to be angry. I don't care what you do to me. I'm going to love like I've never been hurt. Sometimes you have to love God like you've never been hurt. It's one thing when you've got a prodigal son or daughter that hurts your spirit and hurts you by their behavior. But what do you do when you have a prodigal God? When God's not acting like you think he's supposed to act.

Job lost 10 children in one day. He had a wife who said, kill yourself, and he had four friends who sat in a circle around him for seven days and did nothing but level accusation and called him a hypocrite, called him a liar, and told him the judgment of God is why he was sick and why he had lost everything that he owned. And in that moment, Job could have become bitter, but Job made a decision. The Bible said he prayed for those friends. And suddenly when he said, I'm going to love like I've never been hurt, God said, I'm going to give you double for your trouble, and I'm going to restore your life. If you'll let me.

fight your battles and not go with the natural instinct to want revenge at somebody who's done something that you know is wrong against you. God will fight your battle and he'll bless you double when you love like you've never been hurt. Jesus was afflicted, he was beaten, he was wounded, which is an external hurt, he was bruised, which is an internal hurt, and he lifts his voice, and he didn't wait until they asked for forgiveness. But he made a decision because forgiveness is not an emotion, it's a choice. Forgiveness can rewrite your future. The Christian walk is nothing but a journey in forgiveness.

And Jesus hanging on the cross, look down and said, Father, forgive them. I'm going to love them like I've never been hurt. These nails, these stripes, this pain in my body, I'm going to love those same people who did it to me like I've never been hurt. I guess what I'm trying to say is so many Christians and homes and families are in a mess. We just don't know how to love one another. The body of Christ is full of parents who are estranged from their own children.

I hear things like I haven't spoken to my child in a year. We just don't get along. I haven't seen my grandchild that was born six months ago. we just had a conflict and we don't talk anymore. Brothers, taking brothers to court, people suing one another. We're Christians, but sometimes parents say, but my kids have chosen to live a life of sin, so I've just cut them off.

And nothing could be further than what God has called us to do. It's the saddest thing in the world to me that we don't know how to keep our families together. we'll let our children live across town and never even make a phone call because there's been conflict in the family. We'll let our own blood in the same area where we live go by their houses sometimes and never reach out, even know what's going on in their lives. It's because we think that somehow when we have conflict, we can just write those people off. but Paul said that we have been given the ministry of reconciliation.

Romans 5 said when you were estranged from God and you had no righteous compass, you were despicable and you were wrong. God who is rich in mercy, one who knows the truth about you, took the first step and every other step to reconcile you back. And now he says, I want you to reconcile with your own kin and your own blood. Children, parents don't always do. right. They're not going to raise their kids like you raised your kids and we get into little squabbles. I'm a grandparent now. My wife and I have five kids. We're grandparents. Sometimes we just need

to zip it. Nitro, if you look up the word nitro glycerin in the dictionary, it has two definitions. It says it's used to as an explosion to blow up something and then right up under it says, or it can heal hearts. Because if you got a nitro peel and you having a heart, problem. It can settle your heart, hurt heart, or it can blow up bridges. And your words are like nitro. And the words that you speak can blow your house up or it can heal broken hearts. It's all in the power of your tongue. I'm almost where I want to be. Sometimes you have to look at kids who have failed and say, I may not agree with your lifestyle, but I love you. I may not approve of what you're doing but as long as you live, you are mine and I love you.

I may not aid or abed you or finance your lifestyle and if you choose to go this route, but nothing's going to stop me from calling you and talking to you. You can't put me out of your life. I don't care what kind of lifestyle you go into. I'm going to love you because love never fails. It may take a week, it may take a year, it may take a lifetime, but if I'll keep loving you, my love will not fail. to reach you. Give God a great praise if you believe that. At every campus, give him praise.

You can't make me. I've been through things. You raised teenagers nowadays. You're going to go through some stuff, especially if you have to have tough love. One of the greatest trials that we ever went through was one of my daughters went off to college, and we just had the picture perfect camelot family. I mean, we weren't perfect, but we had a beautiful, just, it was just, it was just the most intimate, close family. And my child went off. This was 10 years ago to school. And she got around the wrong crowd, the same old story.

One thing led to another. And alcohol, drugs, it all gets in the mix. And I'll never forget the day that it was a Wednesday that I was preparing to preach. And I had about 30 minutes before I was to walk into the service. And my wife came in with tears in her eyes. And she said, Jensen, I'm going to get our daughter. and you can stay here and preach if you want to, but our daughter, if we don't get her now,

I don't know if we're ever going to get her again. We loaded up, and of course I walked away and gave the service to somebody else, and I got in the car, and we drove for three hours to that university. We got my daughter and put her in the car. We left everything in her dorm, all the stuff. We didn't care. We came back home, and I thought it would get better,

but it didn't get better. We tried to bribe her. We tried to do everything we could. And to be brutally honest, we over did it. We did some crazy things. Kids don't come with an instruction manual. We'd never dealt with anything like this. It had never been in our house.

We'd never experienced anything like it. And I was broken. I was hurt. I had anger. I was so upset. Her life was offending me. It was embarrassing. It was humiliating for our family.

People knew in the community what was going on. And I was so ashamed. I didn't have anybody I could turn to. I felt like quitting. I felt like giving up. My wife curled up. She ran away. My daughter ran away.

And she lived on the couch. My wife did for about five days. We didn't know where she was and we thought we would lose our mind. I got a text one Saturday. She said, Dad, I'm married. I married the boy that you didn't want me to marry. And I'm married. And in that moment, the dynamic of our family, everything changed.

And in those moments when life gets real, that's why I decided to write this book. I said, I'm going to remove the ministerial front because people are going through hell in their homes, and they need to know that God's word can heal, that there is a way that God can heal. And we begin to reach out to our daughter and her new husband. And you just have to understand, I resented him.

I would lay in bed at night in things, and the issue wasn't him. at that point, it was me. I had anger, I had rage, I despised him, the father thing in me, the man thing in me, wanted to revenge, he had wrecked, I felt like my life. And God had to do a work in me. We began to reach out, and we began to invite. And here's the thing, how many times do you forgive?

The Bible said, Peter asked that. Peter, you know, he's an interesting guy. I like him. He was what the kids call. He's turned all the way up. I mean, he'd cuss you out or cut you a fight with you one minute and preach the next. I think he listened to DMX. Y'all about to make me lose my mind up in here, up.

Y'all about to make me do some time. And that's kind of how I felt during this season of my life. I'm going to kill somebody. You all act holy. Come on, Dads. You know if somebody messes with your... That's how I felt. And I think he's one of the few disciples that we know for sure was married. Because Jesus healed his mother-in-law of the fever. And he says that, he asked Jesus, he said, how many times? He wanted a mathematical formula for forgiveness. How many times do I have to forgive? And the Pharisees taught three times. So he said, I'll double it and add one.

and I'm going to be super spiritual. He said seven times. And I think he was thinking about his wife and he had forgiven her six and he was just looking for an out. I can't prove that, but that's my own theology. And suddenly I can see Jesus turned and he said not seven times,

but seven times 70, 490 times in a day. Point number one, forgiveness is not about keeping score. Forgiveness is about losing count. Let me tell you something about forgiveness. I love ketchup. Everybody love ketchup? Man, I don't care. If I go in a fancy restaurant, I want steak, and I want ketchup. It offends them. It defends the French chef back there. I don't care. I want some ketchup. And I love the fact that your great team got me a glass bottle. This is vintage

right here. See, the new stuff is squeezable. If you won't catch up, all you got to do is pop it open and squeeze it and it comes straight out. Let me tell you something about forgiveness. Forgiveness is like this right here. And if you don't, if you've never opened one of these, first of all, it's a miracle to get it open. You need to be as strong as your pastor with muscles. Most of the time, I have to bite and open it. But if you do manage to open it, Thank you, Jesus. Notice it doesn't come out. You know why?

Because the contents are under pressure. First step to forgiveness, you've got to be open to it. First step to reconciliation to speak into that aunt or that brother or that sister or that grandparent or that mother or that father or that person that offended you is you have to open up. But then what is interesting, if you go to Heinz.com, I never knew this. 11% of the people who use this product know this. They said, if you have the glass bottle, we have designed the bottle

and put the number 57 strategically on the bottle because we did scientific research that if you will tap, and I'm not going to do it because I don't want this all over my notes, but if I would do that and tap in the right place, it may not come gushing out, but if I'll tap on the 57 and keep tapping, eventually the contents which are under pressure, but it's there, will begin to pour out.

That's how forgiveness works. You just first open up and say, I'm open to reconciliation and healing. Doesn't even mean that somebody has to be in your life all the time. Sometimes you just have to make it right, but you open up and then you start tapping. And you keep tapping, and you keep tapping. And the first time that we called my daughter and her husband over and we had a meal, it was out. My love was like that.

But you know what? It got better. That meal was awkward. It was weird. It was tough. It was, I found myself having to really focus. But I kept tapping. And I kept tapping.

And I kept tapping. And then we invited them over again, invited them over again. Then we would go out. Then we would go out to a movie. And we're tapping again. we're doing something. It wasn't the squeezable stuff. It didn't just plop. Oh, mushy-gushy-gushy

wonderful. Folks, this is real forgiveness I'm talking about. When somebody really does something that offends you, it's not just boom, you got it. But keep on tapping. Because forgiveness is not about keeping score. It's about

losing count. Secondly, sometimes it takes the worst things done to you. to bring out the best in you. If you understand what I'm saying, it'll change your life. That God allowed all of that stuff to come into our family, and we have a happy ending.

Thanks be to God. Because today that daughter and her husband that I never in my wildest dream believe would be in ministry was hired by a large church in Atlanta. They're both doing amazing. She runs their whole media department. And he's a graphic designer. and they gave us our grandbaby.

Come on, somebody. All of that, because I decided to start tapping instead of hating, instead of holding a grudge, instead of demanding why all the reasons, I can count up all the reasons. You know how many times. See, that's the mathematical formula for forgiveness. And God said in the middle of all this,

Forgiveness is not about keeping scores, about losing count, and sometimes it takes the worst things done to you to bring out the best in you. And lastly, I want to say this. I've always heard my whole life that there's one sin that cannot be forgiven, and that's blaspheme in the Holy Spirit, but that's not true. There's two. Blastpheme in the Holy Spirit, Jesus said, is an unforgivable sin, but there's another one.

He said, if you don't forgive, those who have done you wrong, your heavenly father will not forgive you. It's unforgivable not to forgive. And I want to pray for you and your family in this season. It's not, I'm not here to play games today. I'm here today with a message of reconciliation. It's time for somebody to get open again. I'm open.

It's been years that the, You know, the Hatfields and the McCoys? Do you know that the TV show, Family Feud, was inspired by the fight between two families in the hills of West Virginia, the Hatfields and McCoys, and when you watch Family Feud, that's their version of that. And some of you've got family feuds going on. You say, well, I'm waiting on them to ask me for forgiveness, but I'm telling you, if you'll open up and just start tapping, what does that mean? Just reach out, send the card, do something kind, just try again. And they may accept it. They may not. But you know what's beautiful is when you do what's right, you can be at peace with the fact

everybody's not at peace with you when you do things right and then let God deal with it. Love never fails. I said love never fails. Just makes sense. somebody somewhere in this city there's a there's a 19 year old girl in the hospital having a baby with her boyfriend and her Christian parents are so upset but what they really need is a mother what they really need is a mama who walk in there with tears in her eyes and say I love you and I'll show you how to change diapers and I'll show you how to raise this child this is what love does this is what love is somewhere there's a husband or a wife who has been unfaithful to their mate. And you can legally write them off and spiritually you have scripture that you can let them go.

Or maybe God let you hear this message today to say, I'm not through with that family. I'm not through with that marriage. And you can love like you've never been hurt if you'll let me. my love touch you and set you free today. How many of you believe that our families, we need a move of God in this area like never before? Can I pray for you? Would you stand to your feet at every campus? Would you stand to your feet in here today and wherever you are? Would you just stand to your feet? And I'm going to pray for you

right where you are and pastor's going to come. But if you're listening to me right now and you would say, I need a miracle of reconciliation in my home, in my own life, maybe with your mother, your father. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we had a revival of reaching out this week, that people that we haven't been speaking with and had any contact with, we reached out and said, I'm open. I'm open. And it may not all come gushing out, but I'm tapping in the right place. Ask and keep on asking, pray and keep on praying, forgive and keep on. giving. Father, in the name of Jesus, I speak peace over every relationship, over every marriage, over every family. I pray for reconciliation in an amazing way. Let there be a revival of reconciliation

across the campuses today. Let families hug. Let them eat together. Let them talk on the phone again. Let them take pictures and post them on Instagram. Let them love one another like they never been hurt because that's exactly what you did for us on the cross in Jesus name. Amen. Thank you, Pastor. If you guys will remain standing at all of our churches, just an attitude to prayer. Father, thank you for this word today. Thank you for your grace. As all of you are praying, nobody looking around today, those who would say, I have been hurt. Maybe you've taken on the offense of someone else. Perhaps you're going through some sort of relational trauma right now, and you would simply say, God, I am open to what you want to do.

God, help me to do what Jesus did for me. God, help us heal, help me forgive. Would you lift up your hands right now just all over the place? Just lift up your hands, all of our churches. Father, thank you today for your presence, for the healing power of your spirit. God, we just pray for those even who have wronged us, knowing God that our prayers may or may not change them,

but our prayers always change us. God, as far as it depends on us, lead us, empower us by your spirit to do what's right. I ask God, we ask for healing in marriages, for healing in families, for parent and children relationships, for siblings, for friendships in the body of Christ. Bring restoration.

As you keep praying today, all of our churches, nobody looking around. There are many of you, you're going to recognize that you are not in a right relationship with God. Even that language alone might be confusing to some. I grew up believing in God, but had no idea that you could actually know him personally.

Why is it that sometimes he seems distant from us? The reality is he desires to be an intimate fellowship with every single one of us. But because we're sinners, because we've done things wrong, because we're born with a sin nature and offended the heart of God with the way that we live, our sin separates us from a holy God. And this is why the truth of God is called the gospel, the good news, the grace of God,

that in His love and mercy, God became one of us in the person of his son, Jesus, who was born of a virgin, perfect in every way, never, ever, ever sinned, became for us sin, on the cross, died in our place, and rose again so that anyone, and this includes you, who calls on the name of Jesus, your sins would be forgiven and you would be made completely brand new. You wouldn't just become some religious person, but you can have a living relationship with a loving God because of His grace through Jesus. And all of our churches, those who say, I don't have that and I want it. Today I'm turning from my sin.

I'm calling on Jesus. When you do, he'll hear your prayer, forgive your sin. Make you brand new. You're not here today by accident. you're here because it's your day to experience new birth and the grace of a relationship with Jesus. All our churches, those who say, yes, I need his grace. I turn to him. I call on Jesus.

Lift your hands now. All of our churches and say, yes, that's me. As hands are going up in all of our different churches, church online, you simply click right below me. And together, would you join your voices to celebrate with those who are coming to faith in Christ? Just pray a lot. Pray Heavenly Father. I turn to you, asking you to forgive me of all of my sins. Jesus save me.

Make me brand new. Fill me with your spirit so I could live for you every single day. My life is not mine. I give it to you. Thank you for new life. Now you have mine. In Jesus' name I pray. Would everybody worship big.

Thank God. for new life in Christ. As a church, it's our honor to play a small part in all that God is doing in and through your life. To find out what your next steps could be, check us out at life.church slash next. And to stay connected throughout your week and everywhere you go,

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