Lifeline - 106. Operation Chill

Episode Date: April 21, 2024

✨ LIFELINE LUXURY is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury. Extra episodes every month, no advice, all for $5. May 14th! Come to our live show at Irvine Improv! TICKETS 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 ☎️ You can also call the hotline at 213-973-8095 Today we're talking about a new word for hangnails, what the right word for "lunch" is, advice for a NOLA trip/traveling alone, advice on being approachable, and how to juggle obligations when you have an upcoming baby,  🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. 📆 Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More LIFELINE: Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Ryan's links: youtube.com/@pillowtalkwithryan instagram.com/itsryanpownall instagram.com/pillowtalkwithryan tiktok.com/@pillowtalkwithryan twitter.com/pillowtalkwryan Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by car and other conditions apply. We are, we are recording. We are, we are recording remember vr troopers we are vr troopers yes what else you got okay okay well i wanted to know that um that's what i say now when i like i'm i'm like a busy guy now i'm like uh you know coming into myself as a as a real man in the world a big man

in the world when people seem like they might be finished saying what they're saying i go what else you got let's keep it calm let's keep it cooking let's keep it transactional let's keep it cooking that's completely transactional and that's not good if we don't keep it cooking the food's gonna be raw and we're gonna eat it we're gonna get sick right no okay well no uh-uh not with conversation so interesting episode 105 it's sunday april 14th uh i really am hoping honestly that you're enjoying the final round of the masters why do you know that oh okay yeah because of the golf robot don't swear the first minute in. And we agree on that.

And you do it. And we have to bleep it out. He'll bleep it out. Who cares, dude? Well, I'm just saying. Bleeping is easy. Bleeping is easy. There's the title.

Here's the deal. Lifeline live show. We're doing our first live Lifeline show Tuesday, May 14th in Irvine california uh get tickets at watch lifeline.com and while you're there dude while you're there get the merch and show up in the merch um uh we are going to be doing this uh and it's going to be fun i'm excited actually yeah i'm actually gonna take your um i've never ever been on stage with you. Really? Yeah.

I mean, why would I have been? Wow. Well, how do you feel about it? You nervous at all? Well, not yet. Right, right, right. It's kind of a little, not far out. Want to know something? Okay.

I won't get nervous at all. Well, you don't get nervous at all anyway. Isn't that weird? When's the last time you were nervous going up on stage? Dude, wow. So funny. What? nervous at all well you don't get nervous at all anyway not weird when's the last time you were nervous going up on stage dude wow so funny the the office dog is has her head resting on my bag but she's standing oh well that's weird just right under my feet um anyway uh go to lifeline luxury uh we we got lifeline luxuries coming out uh patreon.com slash Lifeline Luxury. And it is on and popping over there. Really is. We have a good time.

It really is, man. The last one we did, ooh. Yeah. So I will be in Augusta, Georgia. And I will be in North Charleston, South Carolina. And I will be in Chattanooga, Tennessee. And I will be in St. Petersburg, Florida. And Charleston, West Virginia, Des Moines, Green Bay.

Bunch of Charlestons. And also, Australia is announced. Go on over to get tickets to my Australia tour. Wow. Straight Out of the Multiverse is the new tour title, and go check it out. Anyway. Congratulations, man.

Thank you, man. Embarking on a new tour. How do you feel? Embarking. I feel good. I got my material. I was working on new stuff. And I did some dates.

And now I have the material to make this tour. And it feels good and complete. So, I'm happy. Nice. I'm really happy. Nice. I'm really happy nice i'm really happy well um i can't wait to see it the new stuff thanks thanks yeah yeah uh we got uh what's going on i i let me tell you something it's gorgeous out it is but here's the thing i don't like when it swings

and it's it swung so hard It was rainy and cold last weekend. And dude, it's the middle of the week now when we're recording this. On the weekend, the day this is going to drop. It's supposed to rain. It's supposed to rain again. Oh, don't even tell me that kind of stuff. It's so bad, dude. That sucks.

Get it. Hey, weather, get it out of your system and then bring in the good stuff. I don't like that either, but here's why it doesn't bother me. The swinging thing doesn't bother me. I just don't like it when it rains, period. But the swinging thing doesn't bother me because I'm always in a different place. So like it was freezing in Michigan

and then I came back and it was really nice. I want it to be really nice. What about- I always want it to be really nice. What about, I'm only happy when it rains. You think about that? No, I never have. And I don't like people who talk about the rain like that, like it's romantic.

I just don't like when it happens. I hate the rain. I was just singing a song. I can't stay in the rain. Ba-dum-dum. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Ba-dum-boom. I can't stay in the rain.

Adding so much stuff to it between the words, yeah. No, that's how it words yeah With all the beeping That song has beeping in it Yeah Missy Misdemeanor Elliot Missy Misdemeanor Elliot Anyway So yeah

But the swinging stuff doesn't really bother me But what bothers me is the rain period Cause I can't stay in the rain. Got castrated right before I said rain. I think it's misdemeanor. Yeah, it's missing misdemeanor, Elliot. It's not misdemeanor? No.

Oh, wow. You got too creative with it. No, I got too white with it. That's like when people say 50 cent. So true. Dude, that used to bother me so much when dads would be all like 50 cent. And I do it now. Now I'm a dad. Great. 44 years old and i do it that's how it goes you became a dad and now you say dad stuff yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah check out the private record subscribe get in there do

it do as i say thank you very much coach thank you very much do as i say thank you very much a coach that is how i coach dude i i watched um or i was at uh t-ball with calvin oh yeah those videos are so cute dude he we got a new bed for him and it's a bunk bed because billy's gonna get to the age where he's gonna obviously sleep in the other one and um calvin was in the top bunk and he's like so excited about it there's oh turn the air off there's there's shoes to get i'm sorry there's stairs to get up to the bunk bed you know yeah and i put my shoes on the stairs to go upstairs when i go because when i go upstairs i'll bring them and put them on bedroom right so if i take a walk downstairs i'll do okay yeah um calvin took his shoes and put them on on the stairs of his bunk bed and he says

look dad i put my shoes like you do did you cry no but it was so sweet how often do you cry i'm getting i'm getting good at feeling the emotion and not cry the first two years i couldn't handle it i bet but i'm getting good at dealing with it and just feeling it and not crying when you say getting good at it not to be therapists but why is that getting good like what's wrong with crying well you don't want to be a mess all day just crying in front of your son i was crying every day i was literally crying every day so um yeah um so so anyway he was up in the top bunk and he was like this is awesome and i was like okay buddy so we got to get ready he just got i was like we got to get ready for t-ball and he was like i don't want to go he likes t-ball but he just got the

bed and he went yeah the timing was rough for him yeah and i was like i know buddy but we'll come back and we'll play on your bed and it'll be awesome and he was like i don't want to go i was like come down he goes like this oh he stayed up there and i got a hunger strike and i go like this and he comes down and um we get to t t ball and he was you know glassy eyed on the way there wow and um even when even when i was putting shoes on in the house i was like buddy you like t-ball he was like i do like t-ball but i i i just don't want to do it right now which is actually i was like i was very i was like that's pretty developed for four you know pretty adult yeah instead of being like no yeah right right right which he never really had that. So I took him to T-Ball.

We get to T-Ball. And now he's smiling and stuff because he likes T-Ball. And he says, dad, I just love you. Oh, wow. He says, I just love you. And look, I really like T-Ball. I just, I really like T-Ball. And I really like my new bed.

Yeah. And I'm like, this kid is more evolved than I am. It's interesting. He's like thinking about that. How can he like both but be sad to be at one? Yeah. I mean, like that's interesting. And also he was telling me because he was like, he was like apologizing for throwing

a little bit of a fit. Oh. He was like, I love you. I just want you to know. He didn't want me to think he didn't like T-Ball. It's crazy how advanced they are already. And he's four. Billy's driving.

And how is he at T-Ball? I saw the video. He hit a triple, but did the reverse. He ran a third. Well, if you run a third first, it's not a triple. It is. Well, T-Ball, dude, I mean, some of the stuff I remember from T-Ball, many of the kids just hit the ball and then run and go get the ball.

Oh, really? Dude, it's so funny. And we're like, no, no, no. Everybody does it. And like, no, no, no, no, no. You got to go first. No, no, no, no, no. Every time.

Why don't they know they do though but then what's happening they're just like not they're like okay we know we hit it go to first they hit it they go i gotta get the fucking ball wow you know it's like just their midbrain they're just too young they're like i gotta get the fucking ball that's so interesting so funny yeah so when calvin did that i grounded him yeah yeah how else is he gonna learn he going to learn? How's it going to be the next Mookie Wilson? Wow. Mookie Wilson of all people, you know. Yeah.

How's it going to be the next Hojo? Do you know what I'm saying? Do you remember we used to get in an argument about whether you can say Hojo Johnson? The baseball player named Howard Johnson was like the best player on the Mets when we liked them. Yeah. Howard Johnson. And you used to get mad when the kids would say Hojo Johnson.

Of course I did. Because you're repeating the Johnson part. Why wouldn't I be mad at that? Well, why would you be mad about that? Because they're not thinking about what they're saying. Which is fine. You don't say Hojo Johnson. Because they're six, though.

The kids were young. I wasn't doing it. Yeah, you weren't. I mean, you know, there's another thing like that. What is it? It really bothers me. It's like you're saying it the thing and then the hey yeah that that that that's like what started it all is just like all right well how am i not supposed to turn into larry david if people are gonna be doing that shit when i'm six you know yeah yeah there's a yeah i mean yeah

did you you remember i don't remember that but you remember that but of course i had stuff like that but yeah of course you did because we're like that, but yeah. Of course you did. Because we're Deleuze. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Most frustrated I ever got at a kid in school was, I loved the Monkees, the Monkees the band. The show, really. And I wanted to play Monkees, that's like, let's play the Monkees, like at school.

And this one idiot kid- There we go. I said, let's play the monkeys and i really wanted to be mickey i loved mickey dolan's the most and i said let's play the monkeys i'm mickey right and this idiot kid who never went nowhere obviously because he's an idiot okay said oh i'm goofy and i was like no no this is the monkeys. This is the monkeys. We're going to play the monkeys. We're all going to be different monkeys. How old were you?

And he said, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. And I said, I'm Mickey. I was 18. No, I was like five. I don't even, I don't remember. Very young. And he was like, oh, okay, okay, okay. Oh, I'm goofy.

Was it? And I was like, you know what? You are goofy, you idiot. Was it James? Who was it? Oh, I don't even remember his name. This kid? And I was like, you know what? You are goofy, you idiot. Was it James? Who was it? I don't even remember his name. This kid James, when I was a kid, he obviously just saw a movie or something like the day before. And we were swinging on the swing set.

And I'll never forget this. For some fucking reason, dude, he was swinging and we were jumping off. You know how you get to the point where you're like, I'm going to jump off the swing at the end. And he was like, dude, ask me if I have any ideals. What? So elevated, dude? Socrates is a kid. And I was like, what?

He was like, ask me if I have any ideals. Wow. And I was like, he means ideas. Okay, ask me if I have any ideals. Wow. And I was like, he means ideas. Okay. You know? That's hilarious. Either way. I was like, oh, okay.

Do you have any ideas? And he was like, and then he said the line. Oh, okay. And then jumped off and then jumped off, you know? Right, right, right. He had to do it a few times, but he kept on saying, ask me if I have any ideals. And I was like, does he know it's ideas? And it's not ideals right like because it was obviously saw a movie and he was like jumping off with like a gun or something

right right and obviously you got any ideas like you that's in a movie obviously sure yeah and and i and let me tell you something i think about that i don't know if i think about it maybe once a year or two times a year whoa but i've never ever told that to anyone what not weird that's i held on to it for 40 years i wonder if it's going to change how often you think about it now that you finally maybe you needed to get it off your chest like the end of the release i'm just like you let it go yeah maybe i don't know but let's get into some submissions but yeah that's that's wild sign up for lifeline luxury if you want uh banter sick in there but let's do like some let's do some uh some submissions here we go let's do it what's up guys um my name's nick what's up nick i called in like episode three or four something like that my daughter

was hitting the terrible twos and i needed advice on how to handle that um anyway daughter's almost four now um just had twins which is why i'm laying five minutes a piece i get a little rest so apologize for being disrespectful however here's a pressing question my wife or his i live in the midwest i live in fort wayne indiana my wife insists who is from here that it is breakfast not lunch but dinner and then supper is the evening meal what am i wrong for getting blood red mad about that is that normal no moreover is it grilled cheese like the sandwich with the

bread and the cheese is it a cheese toasty oh where are you it's cheese toasty and no one else would understand I think it's nuts anyway love you guys love you too of course it's nuts that's the very clear of course it's not situation the cheese toasty what are you three

that's obviously something that they do either like in the south or in the midwest gotta be a regional thing yeah but no no way yeah no you don't call it what grilled toasty is that what we said cheese toasty they say that in the uk too uh hello it's a cheese toasty sick in it uh you want a cheese toasty what's that cheese toasty how you know you grilled a cheese on a sandwich and you put it in there oh so grilled cheese oh that's a cheese toasty ask me if i've got any ideals got any ideals ah Let's make a cheese toasty. All right. So that's crazy.

Also, so she thinks, my question is, there's breakfast. We know when that is. It's in the morning. Does she think that lunch is dinner? Or does she think that there is no lunch? And then breakfast, no lunch, then dinner, and then later after dinner, supper? From what I understood, it's just she's changing the names of the second two meals. So dinner is at lunch?

I guess so. And you just eat dinner at noon? No, they call lunch dinner. Who? Some people in the South. Including his wife? Including his wife. his wife really apparently and so to answer your question she's just calling lunch dinner and dinner supper start calling

breakfast bedtime it's just no do that and then and then when she gets confused be like well we're just switching everything right isn't and then say isn't that right anthony mackie and she says that's that's the guy who's played and say well we're switching everything and then just do another name john carlo esposito just keep changing it because nothing means anything in your apparently nothing means anything in your house yeah cheese toasty um cheese toasty is less of a problem it's not that bad because well it also sounds kind of appetizing, you know? Your kids are going to get confused. This is the problem.

They're going to go out into the world and say, I can't wait for dinner to their friends at, you know, 11 a.m. And they're going to think she's talking about 5 p.m., but she's really talking about 2 or whatever. Right. And then what if you throw brunch into it? Everything's all fucked up, honestly. Don't call lunch. You can't even call brunch if it's that case. that case you're right you're right you're right who which person him he's right oh of course he's right yeah we're right yeah everyone's right except

your wife you and him because everyone would agree with us and no one would agree with your wife yeah by the way i met in i think it was grand rap. I guess it could have been in Saginaw. The guy who gave the first submission in Lifeline. Really? Yeah, he's like, dude, I was the first submission in Lifeline. I was like, really? What was it? Do you remember?

Oh, no. Such an idiot the way he said, oh, no. He told me though. He told me what it was and I go, oh. Such an idiot the way he said, oh. I go, oh, yeah. And I remembered kind of, I think. And then I don't, now i don't remember wow look at episode one look how it looks like it was in the 80s we were like

two i was 12 years old when i did no no it was dude think about this what so it's this is episode 105 right is that right episode 104 was the mark of two year two full years of episode crazy let's get our first caller. Hey, guys. Is it him? I have a conundrum that really can't go unaddressed. I mean, I've been friends with this guy for a really long time. I trust him with my life.

We've been through thick and thin together, but here's the situation. I start talking to this girl, right? Oh, I remember. I don't remember at all. I gave him my phone so he can look through her pictures on Facebook. Oh. Now, the thing is, we know that there are unwritten rules when it comes to this exchange. And absolutely, under no circumstance can you like an old picture from a girl's Facebook. Yeah, this was a good one.

Good job, guys. Not even Instagram, where a double tap is something that can happen. Yeah, you have to hit the thumbs up thing, right? So, it's to a point where I just have to trust that my good friend knows these rules. But this is a type of blunder that really can't go unpunished wow so my question for you is what should his punishment be okay all right well we don't need to actually see the whole submission i have an update okay okay cool the update is he was like you didn't you he's like the thing that you asked was was it by mistake or intentional yeah yeah of course and then he told me he said

whatever it was and i can't remember oh my god come on dude that's the only part of the story that matters it's not actually because there's one more thing that he updated me on okay you're his dad that's my son i told him i said well so whatever happened with the chick and he said didn't work out and then pointed to a woman and said but that's my fiancee now hey so we really helped him he's happy now in large part to us yeah so i don't remember what the fuck he said was it but he said i think he said he i think he said it was intentional like a joke and i go him out. X him out. Yeah. Gone. All right. Next one.

All right. All right. This is what it's going to be. Okay. So tonight, I, Ryan, grab my hand and it really hurt because I have a, what we call, you can't really see it. Hangnail. But what we all call. It has to be the orientation of the video.

It is vertical. It's vertical. Oh, it has to be vertical? Yeah. Wow. These two. You're wasting time She got great teeth

We all call this a hangnail Which makes no sense Because it's not a nail Well it's not a nail And it's definitely not hanging It is skin that Ripped next to your cuticle So I've got a new word

Rip-a-cute Rip-a-cute? Rip-a-cute. I don't know. Rip what? Rip-a-cute. And it's a new word. And I'm going to trademark it. And you heard it here first on live line.

Rip-a-cute? And I'm hoping it'll be word of the year, but I want to trademark it. I'm not looking for money. Any other ideas? Rip-a-cute? I don't know. Yeah, rip-a-cute.

Give us more ideas. Rip-a-cute is not easy or good to say. But rip-a-cute's terrible. ideas rip acute i don't know yeah rip acute give us more ideas rip acute i love you guys very much bye not easy or good to say but rip acute is terrible skin rip is cool i mean that's too rip skin cow rip skin rip skin rumple still skin what was that rumple still skin yeah um rip skin dude rip skin that could be anywhere though it sounds like a transformer you need to have something skin nail roll out even cuticle in there because you need to okay address the location okay it's kind of hanging though it's a hangnail dude hang now it's fine it's not a nail though is the thing it's not your nail it's your skin skin. That's the thing. And I totally agree with that.

Well, why do we need a one- I think they bring up a good point. So we need one word for it? No. Here's why it's good to say hang now. My skin's coming off. Here's why it's good to say hang now. Why?

When you say hang now, every single person knows what you mean. Right, I know. But that's because he's saying, but we picked the wrong thing to call it. And I understand that. And I don't even disagree. But to go back and try to uproot all of everything everyone knows about hangnails is not worth it it's like you don't recreate language just because oh wait it actually doesn't work perfectly like everyone i think you do okay well we don't i i think you do because

what what's happening is what about the first person who called in? The cheese toasty. The dinner for lunch? Right, but what happens is people who say the wrong thing, everyone else around them says the right thing and then they have to say the right thing from then on because no one will understand them or like them except that guy Nick who clearly has weird issues because he allowed himself to marry a woman and it says cheese toasty instead of grilled cheese.

I just think that, yeah, I think that that's, I think hangnail, I'll just keep saying hangnail. I just taught my son what a hangnail is, so. He can't go to sleep if he has a hangnail. It hurts? No, he's just like, I got a boo-boo. And I'm like, no, it's not. So Italian, so Italian the way it does it.

And I'm like, no, it's not. It's a hangnail. And he was like, what is it? Can you get it off? I was like, don't pick it. I got to do it. So I come in and I do it. You know?

Yeah. It's so awesome being a dad, though. Even doing that kind of stuff makes my day. Kyle's a really good kid, man. Yeah. William is going to be one. William is one now. Yeah, yeah. Happy birthday, William. Yep William is going to be one. William is one now. Yeah.

Happy birthday, William. Yep. All right. Next one. Hey, Chris and Matt. My name is Nicole. Hey, Nicole. I'm from Long Island.

Chris, I saw your show last year at the Beacon Theater, and it was great. Thank you. And I'm patiently waiting for you to come back to New York in the near future. I will. Cool. I'm looking for some advice because I am going on my first solo trip in a few weeks. Oh, wow. My job is sending me to a conference in New Orleans.

Oh, I thought you meant vacation. I will be there for the conference. I'll still have a lot of downtime to enjoy myself. And I'm looking for some advice on how to best utilize my free time uh how to really make the best of of this trip and um how to not be afraid and alone in a city i've never been to before any advice is appreciated love you guys love the show thanks it's good to be careful especially there i was gonna say new orleans that it's a cool city if you know what to do, where to go, or you're with the right people.

But it's a good, I don't want to say afraid, but it's a good place to be careful. Dude, you go to New Orleans, you're shocked how many guys aren't Lil Wayne. You're like, oh, no, no, never mind. Right, right, right. I mean, it is unbelievable. It is so wild. Well, I haven't been there in a long time. Is that true?

People are showing tits. People are just – it's just insane. It's definitely best to go not during – is it Mardi Gras? It is, yeah. Which it sounds like you're – Which it's not. Yeah. And yeah, that's crazy.

It's funny. When you said solo trip, I was like was like oh she's going on a vacation alone and i've never done that and that's interesting because i have friends that do that like that sounds so nice i've never done it either it's how i never done nice i think it sounds so nice shane did it shane west did it recently you would hate it of course uh uh uh denny love does it all the time cool and oh and i think lulu does it too but i i i've never done that and to me that's so fucking i don't do i not like myself or what is it no well we are the obviously i think people think we're really similar, but we're so different. This might be the way that we are the most, most, most different.

Right. I'm not like antisocial. Right. But I, not always, but so, so, so often prefer to be alone. Okay. And you never, ever want to be alone. You don't want to be alone. What's up with that if i'll i can be

alone at home but if i'm out dude show me the people what's up man i don't you know and i don't like when people bug me of course it's like it's a little bit i don't want it but i do want it but like yeah i i um i don't know i go on the road a lot and usually I have people with me, but sometimes I don't. Sometimes I go alone and you know what I do? You know what I do? You know what I suggest? She's going to be in New Orleans.

I don't know how long she's going to be there. I'm not in places for crazy long. I don't know what your life's like. Use that time to chill. Don't, I don't have a plan. I have a plan and then what if you don't want to do it you go and you're like i said i do this i should go do this thing and i don't like all that

bullshit go and operation chill that's what it should be operation chill operation i'll do what i want when i want i mean that's a longer one operation chose better but that's better operation do what i want when i want operation chill mean it could be misconstrued to mean like don't leave your hotel or something you don't know but that's not what i mean exactly so i should be operation do what i want when i want is what i'm saying suggesting too long to say if you're on a mission you say it's operation do what i want when i want you get shot by then so you go operation chill and you miss and the bullet hits the wall she's not going to you're going to syria she's not going to syria um well syria xm um so so i think every time someone says syria so uh i guess yeah i think chill i think a laugh you know what dude allow yourself to chill dude uh who's the

beetle the john well there's four of them so that could be it the the main one the main one imagine it's a movie john lennon john lennon said uh every when you hang out i mean speaking of the first time is never dude you're this is crazy whatever it was that he said he was like somebody out there put an edit together of the him in the first episode trying to quote john lennon time enjoyed like he's doing it or something but that's a good way to say it if you didn't say that that's a good way to say it time enjoyed is not wasted you know and don't feel bad about not doing shit if you're enjoying yourself also in new orleans good advice in general don't feel like maybe i always have to be doing something when you're on vacation it's okay to just enjoy

being where you are without like going to the louvre going to the to the bathroom whatever famous landmark that you feel like you have to see when you're in a certain place allow chilling foreign that's the advice okay allow chilling foreign so yeah but i do agree with that and because i said well you said it and i said it and then you agreed to it and i agree with you which in essence i'm agreeing with myself which is okay to agree with yourself i think it's actually really healthy and so um don't you know new orleans honestly is just don't be dumb like don't go out alone at night in places you aren't completely unfamiliar with just it's not the best idea in any city but new orleans is like particularly wild you never know what's gonna happen out there yeah okay when you when when do you long time ago i was there driving through uh no i drove from dude i drove from la to new orleans when i was

with you um but you are right uh she was in a movie out there oh got it i was at i was like 21 one or two drove through uh i went to a strip club because i was like just walking just to go there i was alone you drove there to go to strip club no no yeah and i was like i guess i'll go in here you know um and i and i went in to say i guess i'll go in here about a strip club is amazing by by the way. Yeah, it's because every other place is a strip club. I was going to say, yeah. And so,

yeah, I didn't even, it wasn't even like I wanted to go, but it wasn't like let's go to the strip club. Sure, yeah. So I walked in and this really hot stripper

was like, hey, what's up? And I talked to her for an hour. What know uh i don't even remember if i did any like you know how you do dances and stuff but she was thank you i was like what are you doing after this and she was like well um nothing she was like if if you want to hang out i i i'll leave with you um but i need to make 300 dollars like or or she can't right yeah or like i'm like she's i don't know if it was like she had to or if she was like you know i'll it's worth it if you want to hang i'll give you know

for 300 oh wow and she going to come back with me. And I was like, really? And I had never, I don't, you know, I haven't, I don't.

You said you were 21? Yeah. Oh, you were young. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't, I haven't,

I never like pay for sex. So I was like, no, I don't think so. And I went back to my hotel and I just kind of like went to bed, you know? Okay. That's not the ending I wanted,

but okay. Yeah, I know. But then, and I'm like, and i didn't do it because i was like oh i shouldn't pay for sex and then i was like that's not really what it was no it wasn't it wasn't i mean i guess technically she was like i want to leave it sounds like to me she's like i want to leave work and i can't leave work without making any money that's how she put it okay oh right okay so yeah so she probably takes money for sex but i that's how she put it and then i was like oh why did i do that why did you not do that yeah that'd be like that's like for a 21 year

old to do something gonna be going to new orleans that's hilarious yeah i just didn't do it what are you doing now opportunities missed opportunities Yeah. Anyway, didn't do it. And, you know, things worked out. She could be still there. She could be dead. She's still working there, yeah. She could be having her own family. Dude, when I drove to New Orleans, different genre of story, I got pulled over by a cop in a different part of Louisiana.

And I swear to God, swear to God, he came to my window, I rolled down the window, I was so scared, totally desolate, alone. I don't know, I've seen too many movies, you know? And I got way more scared when the first thing he did, he said, hey California boy. And I was like, oh, this is the beginning or like the first act of a horror movie, yeah. But it was fine.

Hey California boy. It was fine. Why don't you step out the vehicle? Yeah, that's exactly what I envisioned. And then what happened? He just gave me a ticket. He was not.

So both of us had bad endings to this New Orleans story. Yeah, well, for me, it was good. He didn't do anything that bad. He just gave me a ticket. But the story,

the story's bad. The story's terrible, yeah. But California boy's pretty good. Yeah, but then it ends, I'm saying. So trying to pull me down to your level. I'm just saying I walked in with the strip club cool story and then bad ending. Fizzled out. Yeah, but then it ends, I'm saying. It's cool. So try to pull me down to your level. I'm just saying I walked in with the strip club,

cool story, and then bad ending. Fizzled out. Right, yeah. So we both didn't have an orgasm. Needs company. We both didn't have an orgasm. Well, I did with the cop. It's a different kind of thing.

Hey, California boy. Oh God, officer, what seems to be the... I'm busting, I'm sorry. Dude, the sound you make is like in a movie when someone's turning into someone else, you know? Like an inner space. Exactly. That is what's happening when you're busting.

Okay, wow. Busting makes me feel good. What's that from? What? Literally last episode. Did I? Ghostbusters, yes. Okay.

A goldfish, the way you remember stuff. Well, I don't have a good memory. I want to give this girl a couple of suggestions for New Orleans. Yeah, you probably know, actually. We like it. Since you guys told her basically just to be careful and that's it. Well, it's good advice, isn't it? No, we didn't just say be careful. I said chill, dude.

He said chill. Operation chill. But yeah, go specific stuff. He's probably got shit he's got to do. Well, go ahead. He's been there more recently than us. Okay, two things. One is go to the World War II Museum.

It's amazing. That's good. Chris would never go. I would go. But why would you go to the World War II Museum in Louisiana? It's the best in America. Because it's there and it's a good one, he's saying. Really?

It's the biggest. I think it's the biggest one in America and it's incredible. Really? Yeah. Nice. All right. Why is it there it's got to be somewhere it does got to be somewhere but germany no but for american you don't only have them in germany it's not like the best ones though only place that world war ii affected was germany no it was pretty affected in germany it was go on and then the other thing she should do is go get a muffaletta from the original muffaletta place which is making it up i think it's called central grocery or made it up central grocery central market or something muffaletta yeah it's a sandwich you know what a muffaletta is. No, okay.

What is it? It's like an Italian sandwich on focaccia. Hey, I love that shit, man. I tell you right now, Italian sandwich on focaccia, muffaletta, forget it. Focaccia bout it. I never knew about a muffaletta. Focaccia bout it.

Okay. That, I didn't like. I don't care. Those are two wholesome things you can go do alone and have fun. And they both end with not busting. Busting makes me feel good. Those were two good pieces of advice. Yes, I know what that's from.

Okay. All right. Just do another one. Wow. Hey, Matt and Chris. What's going on? My name is Josiah. I'm calling from Tennessee.

Want to get your thoughts on a pretty tricky situation that I'm in right now. Cool. My wife and I, we moved out to Nashville a couple of years back from Houston, Texas. All of my family is still back in Texas. But we moved out here, found jobs, settled down, and we really enjoy the place. But we're actually going to be welcoming our first baby into the world, uh, in September. So super excited about that. Can't wait to be a dad. Um, but where my, uh, complicated situation comes in is my brother,

uh, back in Texas, uh, him and his fiance are planning for their wedding and surprise, surprise. They are planning to get married right around the same time that my baby is due. Well, they're bad people. Chris, you've got two of your own, so you know exactly what my situation is like. It's not easy to plan around when a baby is due, especially when there's travel involved.

She probably can't travel. It's just a bit of a tricky situation all around. So where my question comes in um am i a bad brother and do i have a place to speak uh to ask my brother to consider uh possibly moving it around and considering other dates um i would love to be there for him uh like he was in my wedding yeah um But it's just very tricky to try to be in multiple places all at once whenever there's

all this going on. It's kind of tricky. Or do I just need to kind of come to terms with the idea that I may not be able to be in my brother's wedding and I might have to stay

all day to take care of my wife and our baby that's on the way. Yeah. I think my brother is kind of open to the idea

of tossing around other dates and maybe considering moving things around but he's at the same time really trying to stick to that time frame. So we'd love to hear

what you guys have to say. It's really tricky and I would love to know what you guys would do in this situation. Again, really appreciate you guys. Okay.

Take it easy. Life friends. You too, you too that was too long and that was that was crazy too long and he said the same thing a bunch of times the way he said the same thing but slightly different is impressive almost it is it seems like a very good guy oh yeah i'm not saying you know but of course and so separate issues so um it's very simple but go ahead yeah it's very simple, but go ahead. Yeah, it's very simple because it doesn't sound like he has a date nailed down yet. You literally cannot. Airlines will not let you fly if you're, what is it, seven months pregnant?

Doctors won't let you fly. No, but they won't let you on the plane. If you look really, really pregnant, like obviously later in your third. Really? Yeah, because it's a fucking liability. It's not good. There's a reason doctors say not to, you know? Oh, well, yeah.

And airlines know, and it's not in their interest to let people fly if they're really far along. Hey, but it is when it comes to the, you know what I mean? It is when it comes to their pocketbook. Not with the lawsuit, right?

It is when it comes to their pocketbook, but yeah, that's true. Yeah, no, it sounds like also they didn't nail down a date yet the wedding yeah oh i i didn't i didn't well he was like my brother's open to possibly or should i ask to consider he's he said he said yeah because that's tough yeah to move it is tough but it is april you know so to september right i mean look stuff happens it all depends you know if if you were gonna have a baby at my wedding and i i would understand i would be like yeah don't do it or

i'd be like uh it's it's the brothers they would totally understand oh yeah i mean like who any any good brother would you can't expect and expect like a very, very close to giving birth mother to travel to your wedding. But like that – So close to my face. His question is, is he a bad guy and he's not a bad guy? At all. No, for even bringing it up, he's not a bad guy. For thinking about it, he's not a bad guy.

You're honestly a bad guy for the mustache. Yeah, and for taking really, really long with the BIA. Yeah, you take too long. And so, no, I don't think, all jokes aside, I don't think that you're a bad guy and I think that you have to bring that up because you can't go. You can't go.

Your wife definitely can't go. You can't leave her. Exactly. So, it's all like, huh? Wow, the worst summarization of all time. Sometimes you just got to be like, it's all like, huh? Yeah solution the worst uh summarization of all sometimes you just got to be like it's all like huh yeah but here's the thing though i would go so far as to say the only potentially bad person in all of this is if your brother doesn't understand when you tell him this otherwise everyone is a good person yeah your brothers may be a little absent-minded for not

thinking about this but like who knows unless they booked the date and then they got pregnant that could totally totally possible yeah in which case it's honestly the baby's fault is it definitely grounded when he comes definitely definitely oh it's a boy you're grounded your sperm's fault yeah it's your dick's fault it's your wiener's fault yep it's your balls's fault honestly yeah for storing it pulled on your own pants and smack your penis yep abuse it okay well it failed you it failed you kinky kinky abuse it dude i was thinking about people who actually have the kink of getting kicked in the balls ah you think about kinks too much but go on no it's so funny dude kinks are hilarious to me i know that are they hilarious to you depends on the kink some

of them are quite upset i think and unfortunate i should say actually i think they're hilarious just across the board wholesale do you know why i think i bro glean why, but yeah, why? It's from something that happened so long ago. This is the thing. Obviously, I understand and agree with that, but isn't it possible that some brains are just wacky as hell? Yes, but it started from something. It's not just- You think in every single case of every kink,

it is every single time something that happened to every kink it is some every single time something that happened to a young person's mind every single time that put him on a path him or her on a path to developing this strange thing that is so every single time wild how fragile young minds are it's crazy my son thinks he's you know can't go to sleep because he has a hand now my son thinks that wait what can't go to sleep because he has a hangnail. My son thinks that he can't go to sleep because he has a hangnail. My son thinks, you know, it's like- He's going to have a hangnail kink. Oh, yeah.

35-year-old. The absolute worst kink, you know? No, but I'm just saying it's like they're so funny to me. Kinks are hilarious because you're beholden to them, you know? Like no matter what, it's not your fault either. Well, that, yeah. But so- beholden to them you know like no matter what it's not your fault either well that yeah um but so uh the thing that gets sad about kinks to me is that people with weird ones end up feeling such shame yeah it's terrible yeah i read this book called the other side of desire and it's like four

different sections about people with really really weird really kinks i mean you would love it well i mean how have you not recommended that book i don't know well you don't read so well but you would read that listen to the audio book i would you know what i would do i would read that and i would i probably am friends with those people because i love weirdos there was one one was obvious it was like a foot guy but then there was really weird stuff with like like uh what's the thing when you want a sex with dead people necrophilia i mean i mean i don't know ding ding ding you know ding, you know? Yeah, one was that. It's weird. Yeah.

And it deals with like how bad they feel about it. Well, yeah. It sucks, dude. Whatever it is that gets you going, it wasn't up to you. It's not your decision. So you don't have to feel bad about it. You didn't make your brain.

You don't even create your own thoughts, let alone the things that you feel. I know. I know. I know. But- Actions matter, but thoughts, no. An old Japanese man. I was thinking about getting kicked in a ball, though.

Oh, yeah? And some people like that's their kinkink to get just booted in the nuts what i'm just laughing at the he's gonna our producer has been about to sneeze for so long and he's fighting it for so long really the battle was intense dude okay yeah sorry to get kicked in a booted in the nuts right yeah it's a k you're kicking hard. They go, oh, yes! You know what I mean? Yeah, dude, yeah. I knew a dominatrix that told me about all the kinds of,

she said the most common one. Get this, dude. Not only is it that, but they don't even want to get off. Yeah, that's odd. They just want to get kicked in the nuts over and over. I believe it. And stepped on, like they lay on the ground and she would stand on top of them and just like bear down with all her weight.

It's just absolutely wild. What is that, dude? She said most of them were really, really rich finance guys. Yeah, that's what you hear, right? Like that's like- That's what she directly told me. Like that, she said it's never someone so it's got to be like i'm so powerful but i need to feel also that opposite side that's one i don't know because it involves pain pain to me i'm out and

for that reason i'm out anytime pain's involved the slightest bit i'm like no we're done right we're done same don't want it i don't that connection i know it exists for a lot of people does not exist for me i do not connect pain with sex in any way really weird huh but a lot of people do man a lot of people do dude it hurts so bad to get kicked in the nuts yeah i know it really does it really does and women kind of and i understand why they kind of are like they don't like make fun of it but it's like oh oh how bad could it really hurt you just don't know well women just don't know how bad it really does hurt it's indescribable kristin thought that when she was younger guys it was a whole conspiracy that guys pretended like it hurt that much

To get sympathy There you go No And even now she's like did it really hurt that bad See It's because they can't It's not possible It's like men with childbirth

There's no chance we could ever fathom or even approximate obviously they're not similar i take some big dumps okay man you know just utterly disgusting you know in the context of the conversation we're having utterly disgusting i take you know but i'm just saying i take psyllium if i take psyllium husk forget it okay i'm gonna forget it right now i hope but don't i really hope i'm just saying if i'm eating and i take psyllium husk and i took my protein stuff could be good could be bad dinero could be bad. All right, should we do another one? Anyway, yeah. Hey, Chris and Matt. I'm a big fan of the show. My name's Christian.

I'm from Utah. But my question has to do with something that came up on the podcast, and you guys both said that you are, or you guys have been told that you're unapproachable. Oh, yeah. And I get that all the time. Really? You look so nice.

You don't want to be unapproachable. I get that all the time. Really? He looks so nice. He does actually. I don't want to be unapproachable. So my question is, how do I be more approachable, I guess? Is it just my face? Am I screwed?

It's not your face. I can't change my face. Yeah. But yeah, let me know what you guys do. No, I think I know what it is. Or if you guys have any solutions. I mean, he could take his chain off. The chain doesn't help.

It's the chain. The hat doesn't help. I think it's the chain and the hat. The black hat. It might make people think you're like a tough a black hat or something like that particularly a black hat you're saying is particularly i mean if the hat was orange it wouldn't be so bad maybe you know yeah but the chain also i want to go on record okay whatever that style of chain is now i't. What do you mean by that? The three links and then the long link. Oh, okay. You see?

Okay. I don't mean gold. Yeah, okay. That's why I asked. No, yeah. That style is a specific particular style that I see. To me, it's the worst chain around. And I don't want him to feel bad.

And I'll tell you why. I should hope not, yeah. Because I had that chain. So I don't want him to be like, oh, I'm why i should hope not yeah because i had that chain so i don't want him to be like oh i'm better than i'm not i wasn't you did have that about that you remember yeah there's something about that chain that really so what turned the tide for you what made you turn against dude maybe it's because i used to have it and it's so it feels like it's so 90s to me oh damn i don't think that but it's not 90 it was 90 for me i'm looking at it now it bothers me dude get the cuban links what is that get the rope you know i

mean like well diamonds you know but oh just oh wow dude i didn't mean to do it well that's why it was even funny i didn't mean to do it like that but i did it to him he's got a great mustache he's got so much hair per capita under his nose he has a legit he has legitimately great facial hair i i i want to note that what did he have he's got beautiful eyes you know you don't know what he asked i forget dude you are a fucking goldfish i'll remember. Hold on. Let me try to remember, okay? All right.

Sit with me. Well, that's going to be boring as fuck. Oh, he's unapproachable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See? Yeah, no good job. Wasn't so bad. He's got great eyes.

I need to take the magic of mine. He's got great facial hair. I think it is the chain in the hat, dude. Yeah, I don't just... He's sick. Yeah, you're smiling, bro. I mean, maybe because he's... I think he's going to be on a podcast.

Maybe he's really buff and stocky. If he's really buff and stocky, I get it. What if he... Just because it's I think he's gonna be on a podcast Maybe he's really buff and stocky If he's really buff and stocky I get it What if he like Just because it's kind of pushed in Like what if He had like a Concealed carry

Like two huge guns on his side Yeah Like I think it's the guns And the shirt said Fuck you Fuck you Don't approach me Yeah yeah yeah

Approach me and get shot And also Had no pants on And his dick was out I don't get it Yeah Yeah mix it Mix that up see if that changes it it is oh you know what here's another thing that you got to consider here's another thing that he should consider this makes all the sense in the world dude but he's he's in utah

and you're saying looking like that and utah's more... Well, I'm just saying in New York, this guy would be like approaching a baby. You're like, oh, this guy. I'll ask this guy for directions. Right. All right. In Utah, he's got the chain and the black hat. He's in ne'er-do-well. Could be, yeah.

Definitely could be that. Yeah. His name is Christian and he's in Utah. So go somewhere else is the solution. Oh, very good. Yeah. If you move, honestly anywhere almost anywhere yeah right i mean you can't even buy booze on sunday there move almost anywhere or try maybe try one by one first the chain for a few days see what happens then the hat for a few days see what happens then if nothing changes, try both. I got to move.

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. It could be that. Spread out. But try. Yeah, yeah. So it doesn't cost as much money. Try the chain and the hat first.

Uh-huh. Don't uproot your whole life. Go to Georgia. Right. And then it turns out to be the chain and the hat. You'd be fucked. Yeah. Okay.

All right. Okay. Next one. Yeah. Hey, guys. It's Sweden calling. It's this guy's sweden this guy yeah yeah asking for some advices about a friend of mine uh i got this buddy who keeps getting in short-term relationships but with really really nice girls like good girlfriend material and but whenever he's in the relationship he's so not into it like he's whiny and complaining and And he's like, she's great, but blah, blah, blah. He lists all the negative things about her.

And so when he inevitably decides to end the relationship, then he immediately is like, I don't know where I said it to go. And he realizes all the things that are now gone to him, like what he's thrown away. It's okay, it's okay.

You know, it's this time, but maybe learn something it's okay. You know, it's... Oh, wow. This time, but maybe learn something from this experience, and the next time it won't be... Wow, I like this guy so much, it's great. ...that you can have a happy relationship. But now, for like the fifth time in a couple of years, this cycle has repeated, and he's calling me to be like... And it's so sad.

Let me tell you why it's so sad. Why did I break up with her she was so great la la la i never find anyone like her well and the thing is they're all really great girls like it's not that he romanticizes everything afterwards it's more like he doesn't see what he has with his presence so yeah we get it is there anything i can tell him to help him be less or is it just a judge to be okay i heard his voice so bad this is great guys okay thank you thank you man this is great look at this wow i mean look where you are also that's a full lip right there man i mean just our friend bye guys it's fucking taunting we told him i think we said

we had i think we said he had no lips oh i did yeah sorry man i love you he does have lips no i know he showed me and now i i take i walk back what i said dude okay that's great he i do you know what i do jokes like this like where i do the thing where i'll do like the song and did the thing and you know so do you yeah right right yeah the guy helped me realize something before we even get into this oh okay when he first did it i go what's he doing sure I know he's doing the thing. I appreciated it, but I'm like, I hope he doesn't do it again. Oh, really? Okay.

Did it a second time, and I go, that's funny. He did it twice. Did it a third time, laughed. Okay. So when Kristen rolls her eyes about me doing this stuff, I got to realize she doesn't get it, and it it's just funny and I'm going to keep doing it. Yeah. So thank you for realizing that.

And I was going to do that anyway, but thank you for the confidence to understand that I can keep doing that. Right? I mean, so insecure. Speaking of confidence. I mean, yeah, right. I don't know what it seemed to go. And I don't know what you got till it's on. So long.

Till it's gone. Don't know what you got till it's gone. What do you think I said? On is what you said. No, no, no, no. You said it. I know the song's not about fighting. I don't know what you got till it's on dude um yeah wait what was i'm you now what would you even ask oh i get it how what do you say to a guy okay you know and i castrated i i i just i think

have i done that specific one with that song? Was it Janis Joplin? Who sings that fucking song? Joni Mitchell. Joni Mitchell, right, right, right. Whatever, it doesn't matter. I

that guy fuck him. Fuck him. He's hopeless. Well, I mean that is so hardcore. What are you going to do? Maybe you can tell him like give these things a little bit more time don't nix them after a couple months like let it

breathe don't be so eddie murphy and boomerang about it be more like open to it actually working out because hey if you have any kind of memory you'll remember that this happens to you a lot. You don't give them a chance. You'll remember it. Exactly. Yeah. I mean, just try to make them remember. Sometimes, dude, sometimes people need to remember something so bad that their brain figures out a way to make sure they don't. Right.

Okay? Preach, dude. So what ends up being- I should start saying that a lot. Sort of being a work around that is to like have physical, and this would be you suggesting it to your friend, have like physical reminders- Kick him in a ball.

In his space, in his home, on his phone. Whoops. King did. And like so that he is, there's something in the external world that is forcing him to remember this thing. So at first it can be like, get your friend a lava lamp.

Such a bro. Nobody likes lava lamps. Such a bro. Nobody likes lava lamps. Get him a lava lamp. Stick it front and center in a room he's always in in his house. You know.

And then every time he sees it, he won't think, oh, fuck this lava lamp. I hate lava lamps. He'll think, oh, I do i do that fucking thing i gotta remember i do that thing so then it'll he'll internalize it then he can get rid of the lava lamp and now he's it's it's now stuck i mean i have a deal with lava lamps dude and go to lava lamps.com put in the code matt dahlia dude love there are people that love lava lamps dude that. That's crazy. It's crazy. But think about it.

They're kind of cool. They are. Yeah. I mean, that's why kids are like, well, lava lamps. I'm going to get one for Calvin. Dude, he would like that. Yeah. What the fuck?

How have I never thought about that? Sharper image. I used to love sharper image. Go to that in the mall and look at the lava lamps. Hey, dude. Let's all get lava lamps. Wait, hold on. Okay.

Why have we never had a lava lamp? We wanted one. Our parents wouldn't let us get one or what? Oh, no. I don't remember that. Oh, I was like, come on. Can we get one? Maybe you weren't a good enough boy.

Maybe. I think what it was is our parents fucking hated them. They're ugly. I get it. They don't go with anything. They don't go with anything. That's what it is, dude. And so if your your mom who is an actual interior decorator and an insane person she's not going to put a lava lamp in a room that like goes really well together with

her aesthetic well maybe if she let me get a lava lamp i would have come over more now as an adult but now it's all it don't seem to go and she don't know no i don't think she wants you over more you're over plenty hurt me hurt me i'm over a lot she likes trying to go over there as much as i can but i'm always on the road it's i want to go over more i go over there a lot i think rubbing it in make me feel bad i go over there a lot and i really enjoy myself and they really enjoy having me. They've never once mentioned, gosh, I wish Chris was here more. So I think you're good.

Hurt me, but also hurt me if they did say that too. Isn't that interesting? It would hurt you? Yeah, because I would feel bad about not being there. Isn't that interesting? But wait, no. The point is to make you not feel bad. So they don't miss you there they don't really want you

hurt me they both hurt me i'm i'm kidding and oh you are okay what no i know i just didn't know if you didn't how could you not know that i know you would know that i didn't know if you were understanding what i was saying uh yes got out of that no i don't understand i'm sorry what did you mean you didn't know if i understood what I thought maybe what I was saying was not computing with you. And you believed something that was not what I was saying. But I know that if you knew what I was saying, what you were saying was a joke. Getting so damn close. Right?

You get it? Yeah, I think so. Yes, got out of that one. I'm not sure I get it, but yeah. Oh, so then don, I think so. Yes, got out of that one. I'm not sure I get it, but yeah. Oh, so then don't make me go, yes, got out of that one. I didn't make you do that, man. I didn't ask you to say, yes, got out of that one. I said, yes, and then you very quickly said that, and then I was going to continue and

say, I think so. I thought that. Yes, I'm listening. You might have misunderstood what I was saying. Do you get it? thing though whatever it is okay at this point i don't remember okay wow but what you said to what maybe i thought you thought i meant whoa get it yeah was real because maybe you didn't know what i meant get it okay okay okay therefore i wouldn't know it was a joke get it yeah you're getting so close to me this episode yeah you get it okay now

now now had i known you knew what i said yeah i would have known it was a joke. Do you get it? Yes. Okay. Yes! Got out of that one. Wow, dude. Dude, that's great. It's satisfying, yeah. Isn't it satisfying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. To figure that out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's honestly so good. That's how I felt you were texting me about something the other night. You remember? Oh, what was it? It was about their house. Like something about their house in La Cunada. When we go to leave. When we go to leave their house.

I don't remember. But it was something about me being there on Sunday. It was about being at their house. Anyway. And by the time we figured it out at the end, I was like. Oh. Isn't it so good that we figured it out? I don't remember. Was that part of it? i don't remember was that part of it what a surprise

was that it was just me and you texting oh side side side texting or with the side no just me and you only me and you so we could go back and look yeah we could okay is this something we don't want to share though yeah i knew it yeah of course you did because i wasn't being specific yeah yeah but because you remembered yeah i remember but remember. But I don't. Yeah, correct. But I could tell by the look on your face because we're brothers that it was something that you didn't want to bring up.

You think that was based on the look on my face but not the fact that it wasn't being specific? Now he's thinking. I thought that from jump you didn't want to bring it up because of the look on your face and then as time progressed it confirmed more and more because you weren't saying it yeah yeah and now we got out of that one right i was just going to do that but i was going to do it

much more calmly like yes got it okay well we got out of that one it is what it is dude yeah i don't know what that means the last part of the podcast that we just did was essential. Okay? Dude, that's always the case. The last 10 minutes of every episode are always where it's at. It's fire. They're fire. And I think that should even be the clip.

That's how fire it was. Wow. Interesting. You know. Okay. All right. Well, listen, guys. My Australia tour is on sale.

Go to chrislea.com. I'm also going to be in Chattanooga, Des Mo augusta all these different spots uh go check it out and uh go to chrisley.com get my special it's on guys you could uh sign up for our patreon if you haven't yet patreon.com lifeline luxury of course go subscribe to my solo podcast the private record it's a banger ringing every week a new episode on wednesday uh what else we got you have a question for this show uh check the description below or go to watch lifeline.com and of course get the merch but also our show our live show get ticky ticky ticky ticky bang bang for them in irvine may 14th tuesday may 14th live show in irvine irvine spoiled brats

i wonder how many tickets are left honestly i gotta email the guy i gotta check it because it's selling really well and that makes me happy you want to make sure you get your butt in a seat wear your merch i'll take a pic with you and i'll smile and we'll hug it'll be great what one time i was in wow high school and do you remember logan hughes oh man i mean he's my friend i know that you know what yeah i don't know i thought that he didn't i thought i thought he didn't i i really liked logan hughes and i thought he he was friends with me we were friends when i first moved there this is gonna end in tears by the way the way she is acting right now it's gonna be so sad and then high school happened and then we kind of fell out a little bit and then i saw him later on in like sophomore or junior year and i was like oh yeah why am i not friends

i won't be friends anymore and he just wasn't really feeling it man sometimes people aren't feeling it that much dude and you know what dude what i started following on my instagram uh-huh you know what i meant to say right you started following him on instagram yeah yeah i fucked it up a little bit oh and he wasn't following me sad so i'm like that's okay of course it's okay we don't you can't be the kind of person that gets mad i don't i'm not and i'm not yeah so and i and also if i'm following you and you're not following me i don't you can't be the kind of person that gets mad i don't i'm not and i'm not yeah so and i and also if i'm following you and you're not following me i don't care of course why would you care i do not care yeah okay but in my head i'm like it's weird that we were friends i'm still

carrying this over do you know what i'm saying yeah you still got issues like i'm like and it's because it was him it wasn't because i'm like i'm i'm we were friends yeah i got that part and now i'm like now i'm a famous comedian okay so and i don't mean to brag but i am though okay okay and and i'm like he knows i'm a famous comedian like there's no way i'm not saying everybody does it i'm not saying everybody knows who i am that is not what i'm saying what i'm saying is an eighth grade friend who then ends up having a famous comedian you went to high school with him yeah yeah i mean somebody knows somebody's been like i told him at the very least so at that point i'm like why wouldn't he be following me yeah well yeah okay we're thinking about i'm not insecure about but we're thinking about it okay but then i'm like he must hate me

he must not like you he must not like what i would think yeah coupled with the high school history yeah so you dm'd him why don't you like me no i follow him yeah and then i think he starts following me oh so i'm like okay yeah but is he just doing it because he knows he knows you're looking now yes yeah interesting dilemma right now he writes me one day oh i hate you he says no and i've hated you since eighth grade responds to something i did oh okay on stories cool a short thing okay haha something not enough okay but like a word or two yeah okay i write back yeah buddy yada yada yada you know i mean okay nothing he sees it and then that's it yeah well that's not anything that's normal say something else dude you have such a crush i know but it's fine since you were 13 but let me tell you why it's

fine oh it's fine because it's fine you know but he's a fireman i think or a power he's a fireman oh it's a paramedic whatever it is it's a fireman? Oh, he's a paramedic? Whatever it is, he saves lives. That is fucking cool. Pretty sure. And it's like, we talk sometimes now and I think it's okay. All right, man. I mean, everything's fine.

Logan's fine. He likes you. You like him. He's also got one of the coolest names. He's outdoorsy. You're both in your mid-40s. Oh, his name is Logan Hughes. Of course he's outdoorsy.

Right. And no one named Logan doesn't sometimes climb an actual mountain out in the world. Okay. Loves hiking. Everyone named Logan ever to exist loves to hike. Okay. Okay? All right.

Thanks for listening. Thanks for watching. Thanks, everybody. Hope you enjoyed that little coda. Oh, wait. I was going to actually- Oh, wow. Never-ending episode.

The reason why I even brought him up was because one time when I was in high school- Wow. hope you enjoyed that little coda oh wait i was gonna actually oh wow never ending episode the reason why i even brought him up was because one time when i was in high school wow okay yeah he was sitting behind me or or or here it was behind me somehow and i was going like i was doing like why were you doing that because i was like because i was like you're grinding on him no i was pretending like i was having sex like i was there and i was like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and he said what are you sitting on and i was like oh man like there's something in my butt oh okay this is humor by the way and i was like good that's such a good thing to say to somebody when they're pretending to do this what are you sitting on it's like oh i oh, I thought I was being so cool, but now I'm gay.

Dude, you can be gay and cool as hell. You know what I'm saying. I know that. I almost had to clarify that. And now I'm pissed that you said that. I beat you to it. Because you should have understood that I know that you can be gay and cool. Look, I wasn't telling you that.

I'm just making sure the world knows what we think. You can be gay and cool. But I'm just saying now, whenever anyone does anything like that, I go, what are you sitting on? Thanks, Logan Hughes. Yeah, dude, you're fucking obsessed with Logan Hughes. You know that movie, The Gift, with Joel Edgerton and Jason Bateman? You're Gordo.

You're Joel Edgerton's character in The Gift, and Jason Bateman is Logan Hughes. Gordo. Why do you remember? Because it's Gordo. All right, anyway. Gordo, dude? You gotta have balls to name your character in a film Gordo. All right. Anyway. Gordo, dude? You gotta have balls

to name your character in a film Gordo. That's true. And it's not like a bro comedy, you know? That's true. Yeah. All right.

Thank you, guys. Good movie, though. Good movie. Check that out. The Gift. Hello? Hello? Hello?

Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?