Lifeline - 109. Spring Into Action

Episode Date: May 12, 2024

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Go to chrislee.com. Go to whatever. But get the tickets at watchlifeline.com. You know why I'm shaking my head? Lifeline Live. No, why? Because it's going to be so unbelievably great that i'm just in disbelief okay okay okay um uh well good yeah it will be it'll be great that's what i'm saying uh the questions will be uh you know people are asking

like how do we do how are we doing it um when we go in chris mocco will be there in the law what like the lobby i think so yeah in the lobby and uh he will be taking your you know we'll be setting it up so come find me come find him so you can ask him the questions and then we can like kind of like you know set it up as the show goes he he knows which ones are the ones that he's gonna you know knows where you are and then knows where you are and then he'll bring the mic over to you and do all that stuff. Come be famous. Ask us something in person and be famous. So, yeah.

So, that's what we're going to do. And all that. I will be in St. Peter. Oh, no. I already did St. Peter'sburg yesterday. Chattanooga. Charleston, West Virginia. And then also, I'll be coming to irvine later uh

sick des moines iowa and uh australia and green bay so i'll go to chrisley.com to get tickets and then also you can sign up for our lifeline luxury which is patreon.com slash lifeline luxury and that's where most uh that's where the um uh lifeline live is going to be it's going to live there it'll be there along with the other fantastic Eppies that we do three times a month

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Save your life, make your life better. Whee! I just got a smell of something so nice. That's me. What is it? Me. Essence ofal.com. Save your life. Make your life better. Whee! I just got a smell of something so nice. That's me. What is it? Me. Essence of Matt.

No, it's not. It's not Essence of Matt? No, it's not Essence of Matt. Your hair looks good. What is it out of 10? I'd give it a 9.4. Oh, really? Yeah.

That's not... That's great. Oh, it's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What do you mean? I didn't act disgusted. I thought the way...

Yeah, I thought I misread the way you said, oh, really. What is that smell? Did somebody spray something? It's the lava lamp. What? It's not the lava lamp, dude. We got a lava lamp, I guess, right here. Oh, we can see it, yeah.

The lava lamp is right here. Does it move? Move it a little bit that way. I just moved it around and then it stopped working. No, it'll be fine because it'll... What? Oh, like if you turn it upside down, it... It's really hot.

Is it really? I didn't know lava lamps were actually the temperature of lava. Oh, that's why they're called lava lamps? Yeah. be fine because it'll what oh like if you turn it upside down it it it's really hot is it really i didn't know lava lamps were actually the the temperature of lava oh that's why they're called lava lamps yeah uh that that is so hot it's unbelievable that is an absolute dangerous thing to have in a child interesting and that's who has them so that's why we never had him yeah um that's crazy he's anthony's laughing he's laughing so hard because you know it's hot right you touched it right no oh you didn't even know. He set us up.

He booby-trapped us, so that's cool. He set us up. So he booby-trapped us. Booby-trapped, dude. Yep. What a term. So anyway. Are lava lamps hot?

Are you looking at your... Okay, look, look. I had an amazing fantasy baseball day yesterday. Hey, guys, check out this time. Check out. This is the most boring thing of all time. And I'm just really proud of myself. I leapt in the standings.

Was in like sixth or something. Now I leapt into second place. I plan to stay. I plan to climb. Oh, look, I got a notification for fantasy. Dude, I can't believe how much better it makes your life when you are in a fantasy. Boring fantasy baseball or any fantasy sports team is. You know what?

I can't believe how boring it is. I just can't tell you. I'm not going to say you're wrong. You're right for you, but I can't tell you how much, how strongly I disagree. That's great. I think that it's awesome that it exists

because that's so cool to be able to like, think like, oh, I get to watch more games and be more involved now. And you're invested now. And you're invested. But I just can't even believe how much I don't care. Do you play for money?

Well, I have a league of which you'll love this. I'm the commissioner that I've been commissioner of for over 20 years. And I'd say more than half of the players have been in the league the entire time. Chris is in it. Okay. Okay. But the other league, I'm in one other league. These are the only two leagues I play every year.

The other league is money. You put up like a few hundred bucks in the beginning of the year. And then someone wins the pot? Yeah, exactly. First and second place. And what's the pot? The pot is like four or five grand. It's pretty good.

Oh, wow. Okay. So hold on. You play for not money on one of them yeah my league is no money well then what who cares what happens but here's what's up it's fun we talk about it it keeps us close keeps us talking these are i'm telling you this was like freshman year of college i get that but but i'm still really young but like it's been a lot of years i understand but but who cares just still text them well i do I do, but it's fun, dude.

If you know, you know. Six runs. No, no, six would be nothing, dude. I got 16 RBIs yesterday. Are you kidding me? 16 RBIs. 16 ribeye steaks leapt from six. Leapt from six points to second place.

That's the dumbest, dude. 16 ribeye steaks in a day is unheard of, dude. You'd be dead. You'd be fat. You'd be- Hey, guys, I'm dead. You could do some cool lingo with that. If I was on that, I'd have crazy lingo.

That's pretty good. Yeah, see? You can do lingo with your friends. Dude, what is the- We'll talk about this on Luxury, but there's a- What is the movie- Is it The Great Outdoors where John Candy eats? Yes.

Okay. I don't know. We'll talk about it on Luxury. I've never seen that movie. Okay. People would be upset about that. It's okay. I've never seen Trading Places. about it on Luxury. People would be upset about that. It's okay. I've never seen Trading Places.

You ever seen Uncle Buck? Oh, yeah. Hey, turn off your things for the baseball. This game's going on early today. It's different. It's super annoying. So, and that, it is crazy. If you, when you first heard of fantasy baseball

or fantasy sports, did you think, oh, cool? Let me tell you a little tiny brief story. Oh, it could be very long. I'll do a very short version. When I was in middle school in the monthly baseball card magazine, I would get that. I subscribed to Beckett.

Remember Beckett? I do. Yeah. I'm sure they still have it. There was a little thing talking about fantasy baseball, like a little cutout advertisement. It was a mail-in league. You literally would mail in who you wanted on your team.

And every week you'd mail in to this one address what your lineup was that week. They would mail back to you. I'm talking about snail mail USPS. Yeah, no, no, no. Right. And I played with like a bunch of old men when I was in middle school.

And I had Lance Berkman on my team, the Killer Bees. I had two of the Killer Bees from the Houston Astros. Liz Berkman and who? Jeff Bagwell. And there's also Craig Biggio. Don't forget Craig Biggio. Don't forget that that's the three Killer Bees. Yeah, it's the Killer Bees.

Okay. But I didn't have Craig Biggio, is my point. Oh, okay. But yeah, it was- You had two out of the three Killer Bees. And they would send these packets of how all the other teams did, how your team did. It was the most joyous thing to get that

piece of mail wow okay i've loved it since i was a kid so then okay so the thing is what that is because that sounds like something to me that would be like well this seems too much work and not fun and then you do it and it's fun but no you were like that i couldn't wait it came i was excited to do everything when the mail would come again it was so much work for the guy who we all sent it to. He would run the stats through. It was so much work for that guy. What a loser. Talking about the anticipation and the outcome and how you're going to be liking something or what you think is going to be good or bad.

There was somebody that came in once when I was in i mean i was in new jersey so i must i was in elementary school that came in and talked to us about sex education okay and what grade were you in you don't i mean a fifth okay you know and she she was like telling us about sex and she was like and you know none of us had had sex and stuff and she and she was like and she was like and you know none of us had had sex and stuff and she and she was like and she was like and uh i remember the first time i had sex and i remember thinking that's it and everyone was like oh man i was like oh yeah and i was and i knew she was lying i knew she was lying even at that age i was like yeah right it's gonna be the shit right well that doesn't mean she was lying though it just means it wasn't gonna to be your experience. No, no, no. But she was trying to make us like not, you know.

Oh, she was trying to make us. Oh, yeah. Because we were trying to color it as not that interesting. Yeah, yeah. But I'm like, uh-uh, uh-uh. And dude, lo and behold, it's awesome. I definitely thought, the first time I had sex, I definitely thought, that's it? You're kidding me.

Yeah, I swear to God. How did your butthole feel? So stupid, dude. Richard Dixon. Slammed him. Richard Dixon. How did your butthole feel so stupid dude richard dixon how did your butthole feel um dude that was so you thought that's it yeah oh my god yeah i mean my girlfriend at the time who i had sex with we were both virgins she was weeping saying it was the greatest thing that ever happened or i was like what's the big okay well you, well, you know. Dude. That's what happens, you know. What? No, yeah. Nah, she cried too.

All good. Okay, but that, I mean, oh, I go, oh, I go, oh. Coming now. I'm just coming now. Sunglass is. You know what I mean? I think he's going to do it on the edit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I go, when I go, oh, I got to do that again. Yeah, okayrrr. You know what I mean? I think he's going to do it on the edit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I go crazy.

When I go, oh, I got to do that again. Yeah, okay. Well, we know. And I kept doubling it and doubling it. We know. And I got spun out of control. Did it too much. Yeah, we know.

Okay, cool. So anyway. But, yeah. Yeah, oh, God, dude. And then I don't even do drugs, so I was just splurting a plenty. Well, drugs, maybe that's the difference because drugs are, you know, often better than sex. Oh, so when you splurge,

you're just like, well, it's not coke. Right. Except I never did coke. Oh, okay. So you go, it's not that sticky icky. Yeah, exactly.

That's exactly what. You know what? It's not that. You know what? It's not kush. Yeah. You can quote me on that. You know what? It's not chocolate tie. Just wants to do the berber so much, you know what it's not that you know what it's not kush yeah you can call you can quote me on that you know what it's not chocolate tie just wants to do the burber so much you know gonna go through every drug uh well that was all weed though yeah yeah that was all weed

um so yeah so great this is great opening everybody's feeling great everything's good we got a lava lamp i we're talking about sex we're talking about fantasy baseball and you got what well i was gonna say i was talking about my colonoscopy but oh because i i mean making it worse no because i got drugs i got drugged you know what i mean you got drugged and then they got you and then you got a colonoscopy yeah i think so who's colonoscopy no that's yeah dude yeah yeah yeah i like it no i like it i mean so so so having gay sex for the first time. I like it. All right, all right. But go ahead and talk about your con.

What were the drugs? What was it? I don't know, but he just gave it to me and I- Like to knock you out or to make you not feel- Oh, so you were awake. Well, I mean, they said you're going to be awake, but you're not really going to remember it and you're going to be in and out of sleep.

And I was like, okay, well, I'll probably just not even remember it at all. And I definitely remember him putting something in my butthole and i'm a survivor what if somebody tuned in just like in the middle of you saying you can't rewind rewind but yeah uh yeah dude it felt really really really crazy weird and i still think about it and i'm a survivor of course it felt really weird it's colin oscar you know who's calling who's calling oscar no who's calling oh scoppy okay all right that's very stupid he laughed Of course, it felt really weird. It's Colin Oscar. Who's Colin Oscar? No. Who's Colin? Oh, Scoppy.

Okay. All right. That's very stupid. He laughed, dude. We love it. We love it. So anyway, get that done. They found a polyp.

They took it out. All good, my baby. Polyp. Dude, you know what's interesting? Jackson Polyp. We can start after this. Why is everything... Oh, this is actually a better question.

Why is everything... Oh, this is actually a better question. Are terms related to buttholes and all this stuff disgusting in a vacuum? Or do they try to make them sound gross because they're butthole involved? Like polyp, fissure. Very good. Fissure? Come on, dude. I don't think fissure is gross.

But anus is gross. Right. But is it though, right? Is it? It might not be. It might just be because we think of anuses. But anus is gross. Right. But is it though? Right? Is it? It might not be. It might just be because we think of anuses. But anus, we think of an anus now. Nah.

I don't know. Anus is a, if anus was not about a butthole, you'd be like, that's a weird, gross word. What about, is uranus, the planet, sound gross? No. See? Because the first part is in. Oh, the ur makes it better? Okay.

See, I think we're being influenced by what we know. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Okay. All right. All right, well, let's do another one. We didn't even do one, but yeah. Speaking of being on the ropes. Come on to Irvine on Tuesday.

Sensei Cure! All right, let's do it, dude. Here we go. All right. David Sullivan. Hey, Matt. Hey, Chris. What's up?

Just coming back from lunch and wanted to get your take on something that happened while I was out to eat. Are you guys familiar with the phenomenon where in a crisis sort of situation, like let's say you see somebody getting mugged or like something takes place while you're out in public. So big. The phenomenon is where nobody springs into action because in your mind, you're all thinking the same thing. Yeah, somebody will. Somebody's going to take care of this. Somebody's going to help. Just thinking about this. So it ends up being nobody helps.

Right. At lunch today, we're sitting in our booth waiting for our food to come out. All right, killed someone. Notice a woman in line. Look at the cage in his trunk. Faints. She hits the floor pretty hard.

Oh, shit. Went white as a ghost. She passed out. So we were very close to the situation. I ended up springing into action, so to speak. And I got somebody to call 911. We got our water. We sort of sat with her until the ambulance showed up.

She ended up being okay. Thankfully. I started noticing people not really doing anything, so I ended up sort of jumping in there. So wondering what your take is on that. Are you guys, in terms of like a fight or flight sort of situation, do you spring into action or do you freeze up? Have you ever experienced anything like that? I'm not thinking that's weird just curious i can't stop thanks guys just start reading comic books action or do you guys

not spring in action or just you know anyway anyway what do you think of people who do spring in action yeah i noticed you know what just ended spring and i'm in action in summer uh dude uh the i think that um first of all there's that whole thing about how the woman got shot remember that whole thing in the newspaper like in new york in like the 70s or 80s there's a whole documentary oh yeah there is huh yeah i lost the documentary i forget it there's a term for the yeah yeah there's a term for the phenomenon yeah and it's and it involves it refers to that incident yes right exactly yeah and it's about not springing into action correct there were like 27 witnesses to this one getting raped and mugged and paralyzed in broad daylight on a stoop in New York City.

Right. And all of the people did nothing. Yeah, because everyone was like, oh, somebody will do something. I figured someone would do something. And nobody called anybody. Yeah, exactly. And nobody sprung into action. Correct.

No one sprung. Yeah. So he's asking what we would do? I mean, there's no way I would let somebody just pass out and then not do anything about it. I am of two minds. Well, I've done both i've sprung into action and i've also been like nah somebody yeah of course like i've heard people from like when i'm at home a scream and i'll run to the deck and be like looking at like 18 houses right i'll have no idea where it was and just be like well someone

was closer but also how could you find it no exactly there's that too but like you know if i was if i was more inclined to spring into action maybe i could have like done more to figure out where it came from what it was but you know i've even sprung into action i thought someone was screaming and they weren't they were laughing so like i've even had done that. You spring into action prematurely. And it was a totally unnecessary spring. Right, right.

But yeah, what's weird is that I'm more likely to more quickly spring into action if it's a dog. Oh, you're a horrible person. People at dog parks, when dogs get into messes they do this thing that drives me nuts they don't run they don't immediately start yelling and trying to fix the situation they try to act cool because they think other people are looking and they're going to look dumb dude if you think your dog's in danger or another dog's in danger you don't fucking play it cool dude i watched a woman half-assedly run after her dog

who just was about to get hit by a car and then did. I ran faster than her. Oh, man. Away from it because you're a big puss. Yeah, I ran away crying. Her dog died in my jacket because I was the one that scooped it up. Oh, no.

Okay, so I'm a hero. I spring. Wait, when did this happen? I spring, you spring. This was... Did you ever tell me about this a long time ago when i lived downtown oh my god it was my favorite hoodie jacket too it got ruined so yeah downtown where the dogs get hit you live downtown where dogs die in your arms. You live downtown. Where you fuck up your favorite hoodie because you got dog blood on it.

That bitch should have moved. A Johnny Cash song. She should have got there quicker. Downtown. And now your hoodie's the best. Yelling. Yelling, not singing. Hoodie's the best.

Little Shop of Horrors, dude. You go now i uh to spring or not to spring i sprung before and here's the thing that i can't stand this is the thing that i cannot crank and stand okay is when too many people spring into action. And give an example of that, please. And if somebody's helping, let them help. You don't have to go over there and make it more crowded and more stressful. Yeah. In that situation, if somebody's already helping, don't spring.

Your job is to back off. De-spring. Un-spring. Yeah. Yeah. When someone faints and then they wake up and have 19 people standing over them, you don't, that's horrific. Yeah.

You don't want one person to be like, all right, but, you know, I just, it's really, that's the thing I don't like the most. If someone's already helping, you don't need to do that for, you know, you're, at that point you're performing. Yeah. Yeah. And just realize that and go away. Yeah.

Downtown. Unless you're a doctor. What were you going to say? I'm a doctor of the soul, though, because I'm a comedian. Excuse me, can everybody back away? I'm a doctor of the soul here. Excuse me, I got to be. Anyway, the other day I was at Starbucks.

What were you going to say? Who? There's no one over there. He was going to say something. You know where you don't want to spring into action is jail. Okay. Do you know what I mean? I'm going to tell the most sobering story of all time.

Well, no. I've never been to jail. Oh, good. Yeah. But if something happened in jail, you don't want to spring into action there. No. Fuck no. It is context dependent.

Correct. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then put yourself at odds with gangs in jail or something.

Going to talk the whole rest of the episode about stories he's heard from just watching fucking locked up abroad you know so much can't stop watching it um just like that's me if something happens to joe oh dude i just i just thought of something else okay to do on luxury anthony write down jail just write down jail guy. I'll remember. Okay. All right? Just woke up. Okay. Just writing it down, J-A-L-E. All right. G-I.

Guy, G-U-I. All right. Dude, how about the name Guy? I love it. I haven't met somebody with the name Guy in a long time. And I'll tell you right now, that name sucks. Oh, really? Dude, I love it.

That name sucks. I love it. It's like being named man. man i agree and i wish that was a name too i love what's your name man of guy guy it's so basic guy's always a guy that sounds like this i love like really so basic that it's like beyond i wish my name was him him's I mean. I've got an uncle guy. It's short for Guy Tano. Oh, that's... And now he goes by Bernie. Oh, well, that's just... He's mixed up. Guy Tano is cool.

And now he goes by Bernie and it's Bernie Sanders. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello, nephew. That was pretty good. So, all right. Let's go to the next one. All right.

Hey, guys. My name is Lindsey and this is Foster. Our question for you is, what is your favorite physical quality and character quality about the other sibling? I'll see you tomorrow on Charleston, Chris. Bye.

Did she say see you in Charleston? Oh, so that was last week. Look at that little baby. So cute. That bill is so straight. Cool. Wait, hang on. I thought the baby. It doesn't work if they Wait, hang on. The baby.

It doesn't work if they're not seeing you. The baby, baby. Adam Sandler. So I guess my favorite physical. Sorry, wait. What were the? Physical attribute of the sibling. But there was another thing.

Character. Character. Well, that's. Character quality. Physical is weird. Probably the shoulders they shot Cliffhanger on. No. Yeah.

Physical one is weird, but. you, I'd pick your... Oh, I know what it is. Your hair per capita. Your mustache. Not a good thing, you know? It is a good thing. Not even a good or bad thing. Just a thing.

No, I like it. I want that to be. What is it again? I'm looking right now. just a thing no i like it i i want that to be what is it again you have more hairs in your in your mustache than anyone else i've ever met in my life compared to the rest of my beard you mean well no yes that is true i mean i'm not sam elliott over here you know i know but like i can't do that with my mustache and i don't understand envious envious no no but my shit is all good all over the place but why i wonder so i

always say the hairs per capita your mustache that's interesting because i would rather have your beard and i was gonna say your beard because it's spread out more yeah i get that yeah i get it maybe the grass is greener you know what i mean yeah i think that's what we're realizing i show dark matter that's on apple tv now that's that i just watched two episodes of i want to watch it is it good i love it it looks cool i I love Joel Edgerton. Oh, yeah, me too. And I love Jennifer Connelly too. Don't one-up me. She's okay. Okay.

Oh, it's sexist. She's a good actress. Density of mustache is Chris's. Density of mustache. Density of mustache. Evenness of beard is mine. Oh, wow. So that's really-

I was going to say that. Oh, you were? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, dude. We're facial hair crazy. So- Character is probably your ability to- mean this sounds i i know you know what i mean though you know what i mean you know what i'm gonna say probably yeah the fact that you

can like insulate yourself from caring too much about things that you can't control like you don't over empathize to the point that it's detrimental to saying i'm a sociopath um yeah i do do that but i mean it's tough man really been put to the limit um my no just for the last four years so anyway um i feel too bad about everything and it fucks up my life ha isn't that great i think yeah I think that your thing that I like about you is characteristic is that... My mental power? Probably my mental power, right? You're pretty smart, but no, that wouldn't be it.

Probably... I would say probably that you care. Yeah, that's interesting. Hey! Isn't that weird? Isn't that weird? You have opposites of the physical and the... It makes sense makes sense though because the thing that we're too much of it's just like and the things that we're not yeah enough of we want to be more than yeah it's just isn't that

interesting yeah it's pretty good question because it led us it wasn't a good question just naturally dick but it led to something very interesting so saying we're good saying we're good we fixed your your submission thank you yeah that was good thanks for that yeah or i would say how funny how much fun like you're so funny like how much fun i have well i mean that's yeah obviously you've made me like grand total i wonder if i could if i could have a chart the grand total amount that people have made me laugh, like all together, add it up. Like a pie chart.

It would be like the great, like a pie chart would be like so much of you and then like little slivers for the other, the funniest people I know even would be like these tiny little slivers. Well, it's just your time amount

making it less than, making it sound less than. But I am great and that's that. Okay, on Coke. So, all right. let me stick my so all right all right next one let's do it a baseball for third base what's up man chris um been following the podcast for a while i was on an earlier episode we've seen him before but love your guys's stuff oh yeah and uh my issue is line of work, we've got to come up with solutions to problems that arise. We roundtable ideas.

We come up with ways to solve them. And my coworker, he's also a friend, as you mentioned. So it's okay for me to add a little bit of a zing to these comebacks. Okay. But my friend and my coworker will say the exact same idea or solution that I come up with seconds after i say it weird i don't know if it's an adhd thing or what or if he just blanks out then copies and pastes his brain right right but oh weird it drives me it drives me crazy because i said it and i've already hit him with the hey man come up with that all on your own i also hit him with the yeah man that's a good idea it's

almost like somebody else came up with it but i need something a little bit more clever a little bit more creative um again i should mention that we are good friends and we rely on each other quite a bit but this is over like what email or just talking or what give me your ideas give me uh give me your one lighters man let's see let's see if we can really drive that point home i don't i don't subscribe to this i go go, hey, I said that. Well, that's your answer. That's your answer. Yeah, there's no, hey, jokey around.

Hey, is anybody else realizing what's going on? Oh, dude, you're a parrot. Yeah, well, that's good too. You're a parrot. I would make a big dramatic thing and just stand up and be like, look lost. Like, what? And then when someone's like, hey, Chad or whatever your up and be like, look lost. Like, what? And then when someone's like, hey, Chad or whatever your name is,

like, what's going on? I'd be like, what? Are we in the Grand Canyon? Because there's a crazy echo. Imagine if you did that. Make a big show out of it. Imagine if you did that. Stand up and everything. Like, make a whole thing out of it.

What the fuck? Yeah, exactly. Looking closely at the wall. Yeah, right, right. This isn't rock. Dude, or you can just start going and then somebody feels like oh what right look at you and they go like this is everything and just do it for too long kind of until people are like

and just do it for too long kind of until people are like and you go oh dude why is there no echo on that i'm sorry i'm sorry i thought we were all pretending to be birds right right right because what i was doing was being a toucan and what my friend was obviously doing here was being a parrot because what i said he copied and that's what parrots do yeah so what birds are you yeah that'd be that would be really good that would be let me just tell you if somebody did that that would be my best friend yeah that'd be well that'd be the most amazing thing anyone's ever done in a work meeting dude why but also imagine being the person that wasn't looking and how scared yeah yeah yeah then, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then it would be infuriating.

Dude, why don't people do shit? Oh, because they don't want to get fired. They're not creative. Because they don't want to get fired. No, you wouldn't get fired for that. You don't think you'd get fired for that? Not if you did it in a finesse way. I could do it to where, but I'm a comedian though, yeah.

A finesse way. I just, dude, that would be so fucking funny, dude. The finesse way by Chris D'Elia. Ah! Just so loud. The volume is- Whoop, whoop, whoop, who be so fucking funny, dude. The Finesse Way by Chris D'Elia. Just so loud. The volume. Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof. Right.

Woof, woof. Curly, curly. Oh, man, dude. That's going to have to stop pretty soon, actually. People are turning off the show, you know? No way, dude. People are complaining. Turning it on, more like it. Neighbors are complaining, you know? Yeah. People are about to spring show you know no way people are turning it on more like it neighbors are complaining you know yeah people are about

to spring into action to see what the hell's going on i mean that would be good if you just did that one if you want to take it to a lesser level yeah like not too like scary but people be like what is chris doing just like this and then finally someone's like chris what are you doing oh dude oh sorry i'm being a little chick little big chick because he's being a parrot what birds are you yeah something like that would be great we gave you a lot of ideas it's a grab bag pick whichever one you want it's a winner either way you know just doing all birds you know fucking a the guy in police academy dude i just made that joke i just made that joke i just made that joke the guy from police academy somewhere i can't remember what's that guy's name

that guy was amazing wait wait wait what was his fucking you know his name i don't even i don't even have a guess carl carl probably a lot of black guys in the 80s were named to carl carl winslow true carl malone who's carl winslow Carl Winslow's the dad of Family Matters. There we go. There he is. Oh, Michael Winslow. Oh, what the fuck? That's why I thought it was Carl. That's why I thought it was Carl. You just said who's Carl Winslow though. Not him. Right, but you said who's Carl Winslow

so maybe it wasn't because of Carl. Because you said Carl. No, that's why it's in my head as Carl. But you didn't even know who Carl Winslow was. I do know who Carl Winslow is. You said Carl Winslow. I go, oh, yeah. And you know I know who Reginald Vell Johnson is. I've worked with him. Yeah, he's the man.

What a cast, dude. The top question on Google is, was Reginald Vell Johnson a real cop? Oh, God. Dude, I don't understand the shit I see sometimes on Google. I say this a lot. Okay, listen up. Everybody needs to listen up because however much you already think it, you don't think it enough.

Everyone is unbelievably fucking stupid. However stupid you think people are, they're way stupider than that. I want you to imagine a level of stupid that you've never even imagined. That's pretty wild. Okay? Then imagine one a little bit more stupid than that

and then you're in the ballpark. I mean, that means more than one person Googled wild. Okay. Then imagine one a little bit more stupid than that, and then you're in the ballpark. I mean, that means more than one person Googled that. Yeah. People generally, I mean, obviously not everyone, because if everyone was stupid, no one would be stupid. But there are so many people that are so unbelievably stupid. Other people, even not smart ones. I'm not saying I'm that smart.

I'm just saying I'm not stupid like that. Even people like that, like me like me can just it's a marvel and be stupid yeah it's a marvel how stupid they fucking are okay all right next one is reginald valjohnson a real cop unreal hey man hey chris long time listener first time caller i don't want to do my hands matt i got these glasses because of you hey uh they don't look as good on me unfortunately first thing i thought was your glasses are great um chris i bet your hair's at 10 today 9.4 how do you guys mentally you know when you want to get over a vice but you can't necessarily can be consistent with it you know whether that be eat a sleeve of saltines at the kitchen at 2 a.m and pitch black or you know one beer after work

turns into two beers and then it turns into four nights in a row you know you don't want to do these things but keep at it yeah uh yeah how do you how do you guys how do you recommend taking that first step any advice would be great love you guys um yes i'm gonna have to clear my search history after this okay why what's on his glasses is it that's that's fine i don't know but that's funny because what is oh i bet we could find out what he's... Oh, he's watching Lifeline. That's hilarious. Yeah, I think so. Okay, cool.

Well, I... This is... Yeah. I have to... I know myself well enough at this point where I know I need to catch myself in a certain mood to do that, to take that first step because it's all about that first step. You do that first

step. You start that first day. By day two, it's so much easier than day one to be like, I'm not doing that anymore, or I am doing that now, because you already started. There's a kind of mindset that I, every once in a while, slip into. Totally doesn't feel like it's in my control. I don't know how I end up in it, i know it by now i'm james bond and i think oh what are things i've been meaning to either stop or just start because right now oh really i can do them oh that's cool yeah but it's hard to describe it i can't like there's a sense of like it's a sense of like freedom like the the knowledge that you actually can do anything which is true and we all know it's true about all of us all you actually can do anything, which is true. And we all know it's true about all of us.

All of us can do things like quit smoking or whatever it is, you know? But like when we're on the day-to-day, we don't step outside of ourselves and realize that ever. We're just like having a cigarette and smoking. But every once in a while, I at least slip into that frame of mind

where I'm like, anything can happen. Now I need to either stop the things I've been trying, what are those things that I need to start or stop, whatever. And that for me is the only time I can kick something into motion and have it stick. Yeah. Other than that, I don't know what to say.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to think of like, self-control really it's just the heart it's so it's weird we're all we're all

in a war within ourselves you know yeah it's all about doing it that one time though that you want to stop doing something you stop that one time

and then the next time you go to do it you're like but I didn't do it last time so I know I can yeah I guess there's that but also sometimes

if you're talking about it like in an addiction way, the craving is now worse because it's been two days, not one. Sure, but if you hit that threshold, it ends up lessening again. True. Yeah, I don't – you're talking about a really tough thing here. And develop a routine, I guess, is the thing. Schedules help, yeah. develop a routine i guess is yeah schedules help yeah it's much easier to work out if you're already somebody that works out regiments help regimen regimen bell johnson wow

crazy we're brothers yeah uh what did that you you actually speaking of smoking chris you quit smoking using that book what what does he say? The client? What does he say in the book? John Grisham said. No, Congo. The same Iterographics. Remember when he got to the part where he said the same Iterographics over and over again? The thing that he does in that book, I think, is like a book form of meditation. He kind of just keeps repeating phrases that you start to think differently about the thing that you're doing.

Because obviously his point is that you've trained yourself to think that this is good, that it tastes good, that it feels good. But in actuality, it's gay and you're homosexual. That's what the guy says. He wouldn't make someone stop him. For example, he refers to it as the weed, right? The tobacco weed.

And he's like, you're sucking on this weed. Homo. Then you start to think. That's what they say in the book. That's what they say. I'm quoting it. And then you go to pick up a cigarette and you're like this i don't want this weed yeah like that's one small very simple maybe there's something about redefining the thing that you do and if it's something you want to stop redefining it as something kind of gross and if

it's something you want to start redefining it as something like not like oh i don't want to work out it's then redefining it you get to work out yeah exactly it's a privilege yeah and if you don't you fuck guys you know the most and that's homophobic no advice giver on earth he's secretly gay everything yeah exactly yeah oh so here's the deal uh you fuck guys tony robbins you know what you're in a toxic relationship well you're not. You fuck guys. Tony Robbins is the best, dude. I don't care what anybody says.

Okay. That's it. I'm going to leave that there. All right. That's fine. And I'm Tony Robbins. Okay, next video. All right.

Hey, Chris and Matt. Scooby-Doo. Big fan from Australia. Hey. Just can't wait to see you when you come to Melbourne in July. Melbourne in July. My question for you guys is treatment or medication for ADHD or ADD. I was diagnosed a year and a half ago and I have since tried three different

medications, Ritalin, Vyvanse and dexamphetamine. Chris, I know you mentioned you've taken Vyvanse before. I'm very curious to hear your thoughts on it and how you felt taking it um yeah the pros being um you know it works the medication works helps you focus you can get a lot done and you know the sorry the cons being like i get terrible sleep like even before medication i got bad sleep and let alone with this medication and when you pair a stimulant and lack of sleep really tough on your heart and yeah at what point you know do you weigh out the process of the cons like what you know i don't know i'm curious to hear what you guys think about about this sort of stuff i thank you thank you see in melbourne in july chrisley.com uh yeah dude i i took uh i have tried. I mean, I had a prescription.

It's like a prescription for paying attention. I mean, Ritalin, same shit. Okay. And I maybe have done it, like maybe taken three until I was like- Is it not a daily dose thing? It's about- No, it is, but I didn't do it. I was like, I can't do this.

Right. Oh. No, it is, but I didn't do it. I was like, I can't do this. Right. Oh. It is, you're all of a sudden, you are in love with life. Oh, that sounds like the best drug in the world. Yeah, I know.

What the hell? And I can't be dependent on that. That would be crazy. But is it addictive? Oh, oh, yes. Dude, I've never heard of it until right now. Okay, well, I took it. So I'm an addict, obviously.

And then I didn't, I was always in the back of my head, like, maybe I'm not an addict. Like, you know, like, maybe it's just like, because in the back of my head, I was like, look, my addiction was like sexual. I'm like, it's in sex. But like, I was like, a lot of people don't believe in sexual addiction. Like, even though, sexual i'm like it's in sex but like i was like a lot of people don't believe in sexual addiction and i like even though so i'm like but you can kind of be addicted to anything dude i took vivance and i'm like oh okay so i didn't stop thinking about it for over a month every day meaning what though that could mean so

many things i took it once and what was the experience like that you kept thinking about i was like oh i wish i could take it again now oh my god yeah so i would be i'm so happy i already knew i was an addict and i stopped after like the third time because i would have been fucked beyond belief now i would have been the most successful person in the world because i would have been doing 95 podcasts what why don't you just take it every day it sounds like it helps i know because i think that it might have to do i think that what what could happen is i would maybe uh you'd have to take more and more i don't know if it's one of those drugs i don't that's what i'm asking yeah like when i say why don't you it's

not that i think you should it felt too good and it felt dangerous the only time I've ever had that experience was when I had a um shot of why can't I think of the steroid uh cortisone cortisone in my butt cheek my rear end butt cheek and I was so sick I couldn't even swallow it hurt so bad yeah they gave me this cortisone shot in my rear end butt cheek, and I'm telling you- So far. Before I walked out of the doctor's office, not only could I swallow,

but it didn't hurt at all when I swallowed, and I never felt such elation and ecstasy and just general jubilance, like for no reason. So can we rephrase? I took the stairs down and I had a fever. I felt so good. I was like running down the stairs like, yeah, like just loving life, dude.

Wow. Can you, so you can rephrase that. I went to see a guy, he put something in my butt and I swallowed and it felt so good. Absolutely obsessed with homosexual acts this person am i wrong guys oh no no but that is meaningless because what i did all i did was give a more descriptive experience of what you did went to see a guy he put something in my butt ran down the stairs so happy swallowing the worst sentence of all time just not not head lips not

well constructed at all dude you say that and this was oh dude you got a shot of cortisone and you the doctor helped you yeah if anybody's had that experience they would say that yeah so that good all right well i've i've gotten uh anyway back to her thing yeah yeah i you know that's my experience taking vivance i mean i've taken it three four times it's just trade i was on a boat dude and i was like oh i'm a captain all right i'm i'm a captain captain phillips no dude i know because i don't get overtaken by dude if captain phillips was on by vans he would have fucking won no pirates would have come aboard i'm telling you have i never heard of this drug and why is everyone not on it it's basically a version of like you know i know people

who take it every day and yeah dude that's the idea too because because they don't they go like this i haven't found my keys in nine days you know i mean oh yeah so oh okay so like i see but like for me it's you know just like like i i can i can if i hit coffee doesn't really affect me but if i if i drink like eight shots on an empty stomach of coffee that can make me feel that way that sounds like it would feel terrible though it doesn't and i'll tell you what feels terrible right three hours later when i take a dookie okay right dookie you know um yeah well that's intravivant how have i never heard of a drug okay i don't know but you obviously don't listen to my podcast i've talked about it quite a bit i don't dude you need something for the thumbnail anthony here check it out all right um just for the thumbnail

if you need it uh all right so uh if if you're okay if think of like a middle point like how much you're willing to trade off from your present self that you like being, right? If the drug that you're on that is helping you pushes past that point that you're comfortable with, that you've already decided is where you're comfortable, then don't take it. But if it's within that threshold, if it's underneath that level or whatever, then maybe it's worth it. The problem is people forget that any kind of drug aid is, it's always going to be a series of trade-offs. Like that steroid, for instance. If I took that consistently, I would gain weight, I'd be lethargic, and I'd feel like shit. Yeah, and you have a lot of guys putting stuff in your butt. And that's not what I want.

But doing it once made me feel way better and helped me get back off, bounce back from this terrible sore throat thing I had. I didn't know that cortisone helps sore throats. It's anti-inflammatory. Oh. So it just is immediate. I don't know.

The thing that confuses me about that is how did it – it sounds so stupid to somebody who knows how it works. How did it get to your throat? Yeah. It's like how did it know my throat was what needed the anti-inflammatory? We don't know, folks. Well, we do know. We just don't know. No, we don't know.

We as a human race know. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Okay. Well, yeah, it's tough. It's tough. I don't know. I think that I didn't notice any sleep.

I mean, I wasn't on it long enough, but I didn't notice many sleep. You know, you need sleep. You got to sleep. Yeah. Any drug that's fucking with your sleep is- Maybe try coffee. Try more coffee. Because coffee- When I was younger, the doctor told me told me you should drink coffee you got the personality to wear like

if you drink coffee you'll be able to pay attention more and you need caffeine so i said okay that's really a doctor what a doctor yeah wow dude i had one time a doctor told me to uh eat more salt and let me tell you everyone who always constantly says hey matt why do you eat so much salt you shouldn't eat so much salt shut up a. A doctor told me to do it. God, dude, so many people. Eric Griffin is the number one. Man, you put too much salt. You know why, though?

Because he probably had a doctor tell him to stop eating salt because it's bad for him, and it's true for him. But everybody's different. Hey, everybody. Everybody's different. That's the best advice I could ever give anybody. Okay. Okay.

All right. Guys, I'm a huge fan. I'm actually on my way right now to go see chris at the north charleston performing arts center oh hell yeah um anyways i have like a quick dumb question i just wanted to know my guess if i'm an asshole because of how annoyed i get with people that i have to deal with working in a nail salon because i'm around people that baffle me on a daily basis probably not an asshole um there was a lady a few days ago that actually started whistling out loud to the song that was playing on our speaker oh god like really really loud everybody in the salon could hear her because there wasn't a lot of people in

there do you think that's normal do you think that's weird um do you think it would have been okay for me to tell her to please stop yes because of course it's just weird it's annoying it's in public like it's weird to even whistle to yourself also she works there outside but indoors around other people is just really really interesting indoors weird let me know what you guys think um i love you guys so much i hope i get on the show bye yeah i dude that always makes me think of this one time i was at starbucks i used to go to that one on, like, near Woodman in Ventura. I remember that. Yeah, I do remember that.

A lot, on a lot street. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there was this lady that would go, and she... The only reason why I mentioned she's Asian is because she was not American. She was obviously from not america

like you could tell when she spoke she had you know broken english and yeah um and uh she would sometimes hum while she would be at that starbucks and she was on her computer just kind of like and there was and it was always kind of interesting, but I was like, it's not so bad. She's just humming. Who really cares? How loud would you like do? How loud it was? So one time she was like, she must've been like, when I'm here, I usually don't hum loud

enough. She did it so loud. And this loud. In Starbucks. And she had headphones on and was doing this? Or this was just... Nope. Oh, wow. Okay.

Jeez. That was crazy. It's very soulful, though. Well, I mean, I'm probably doing it better than she was. That the soul is coming from you? Yeah, wow. Okay. Jeez. That was crazy. It's very soulful, though. Well, I mean, I'm probably doing it better than she was. That the soul is coming from you? Yeah, I have soul. I don't know if she had that much soul. Okay.

But it was bad how she was doing it. And here I am. I'm just like this. I'm like. What the? People start looking at each other, right? Yeah, right. When it's like that, you know it's bad.

But we're like, okay. I guess we won't say anything for a bit you know you kind of let people have a little bit of that if you want to hum for a little bit okay yeah even if it's a little loud you yeah few minutes at the most yeah so she kept like jesus and i finally the the barista came over oh and was like excuse me ma'am um can you not hum you're humming so loud oh wow and um it's just kind of disturbing people and she goes like this oh okay and she didn't and she stopped yeah oh that's good and every time i think of that story i think of another story okay to where I was watching porn once when I was in my apartment. And I went to that Starbucks

and I opened my computer and it went, oh, yeah. And I put it back down. That's only happened to me once. And it was, I was with my girlfriend. I guess, I don't even remember what I was was doing i guess i was watching porn on my phone yeah way earlier yeah get in the car my car

and you know when you have a car it the bluetooth picks up automatically yeah that kind of set you up and i guess i didn't close the window or something it just immediately started playing just some woman moaning and i was like oh first the worst part is I didn't even know what it was at first. Right, right, right, right, right. And then I quickly scrambled it. I was like, oh, God. What am I going to even do? Honestly, I got away with it because either she didn't know.

It was so weird. That's an Eazy-E song, the beginning to an Eazy-E song. But it was like the kind of thing where either she didn't hear it or she wasn't paying enough attention. I don't know. I honestly don't know. Because she didn't want – she would have brought it up. Oh, my God.

So it wasn't like, oh, I know something and then I don't. No, no. Yeah. But I have a – and then I got mad at myself because I was like you can – I was like how do you – it sucks. There's no way to lower the volume first before you open the thing. Well, yeah, you open it before, you turn the volume lower before you close it. Right, but there's also another way to do it, life hack. Really?

Yep. How? Put in headphones first. Smart. Hey. Oh, yeah. Just for me. Right, but you stop it because it's.

Oh, it comes out. yeah you know so ridiculous but the lady was humming too loud that nobody heard you so anyway cover all right well i'll wait i don't remember what the thing was about of course you're not out of line to tell a customer that they're doing anything too loud if it can be considered too loud for other customers, like it's sort of messing with their experience of your establishment, always okay to be like, excuse me, what the fuck are you doing?

I mean, obviously say it differently than I did, but always okay. Excuse me, what the fuck are you doing? All right, yeah. Yeah, if you work there, there you go. That's it. You're allowed to, of course. Yeah. Yeah. If you work there, there you go. That's it. Yeah. There's the answer. You're allowed to, of course. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Oh. Hey, what's going on, Matt and Chris? I'm about to go kill a bunch of people. How do we shoot this? Because the first one was like three minutes long. And then when I went to post submit it, it said it had to be wildly good if it was anything

over 60 seconds. So how do we shoot this? The way you keep it short. In a nutshell, I need some help. And the question is- How do I get this off my head? Either be gross or be uncomfortable. Which one would you pick?

Example. Okay, yeah. My wife thinks it's disgusting when I snot rock it. And that's the most effective way of me clearing out my nose where you don't have napkins or tissues or anything around you. Obviously, I'm not going to do it in front of people. I'm going to do it off to the side. But it's not rocket. Effective.

Keep it walking. Keep it moving. And then that leads me to what happened today, which was I sneezed. This is going to go over a minute, guys. I sneezed into my hand and didn't have anything around me. Took off my shoe, wiped it with my sock. My wife thought that was the most disgusting thing in the world.

She said, never do it again. And I said, I might because it was the most practical thing at the moment. I'm not going to wipe it on my shirt, I'm not going to wipe it on the ground or anything else because my hand's going to get dirtier. So that's what I did. I made it okay in 20 seconds all good hopefully i get picked dude you're hilarious yeah you're funny disgusting buddy my thing is like how often are you not around a place where you can get a paper you're fucking gross keep a fucking kleenex in your pocket yeah

no but i don't not rocket you have a beard, but you're very mucousy. Don't snot rocket. You have a beard. That means you're old enough to know you don't do snot rockets. Snot rocketing is pretty gross. It's disgusting, dude. Even in the shower, I hate doing it. I've never done one. I've never done it once ever in private,

in public, in anywhere. You should try it in the shower and at least you'll know what it is. I don't want to. It's disgusting. I've seen it enough to know I don't want to fucking do it. That's number one.

Number two, don't sneeze into your hand ever. That's not even where you're supposed to sneeze. Yeah, that is weird. That's weird one number two don't sneeze into your hand ever that's not even weird that's weird you go you go like this or into your fucking shirt or run to an area where there's nobody yeah that would be better than seizing in your hand okay uh you yeah i this is uncomfortable for a little while the sock thing thing is... I have wiped my nose, and it's been wet, and I've had nothing, and I just wiped it on my sock.

I have done that. Maybe I have. I can't think of it, but that sounds gross. It's better than a snot rocket. Nobody knows. Yeah, right, right, right. Nobody knows a snot rocket is.

This dude took off his shoe and wiped it on his sock. Crazy guy. Yeah, taking off your shoe is weird unless he has a ankle. Why does he have a helmet on? Looking like an unwrapped condom he does he makes he makes questionable decisions well i i tell you right now i would hang out with that guy for so of course you would dude you'd bring him to family dinner and it would be like why the fuck yes i would i

would and i'd be like make sure you have kleenex around um yeah i don't know so being gross or uncomfortable so so he's saying he's gross if he snot rockets or he's uncomfortable if he doesn't right i would i would i i don't i here's the thing i find snot rocketing not that helpful on me too because you can do it we've never done because you can do it i thought you meant something and then it it never fully shoots out it's still kind of like is in there a little bit like it would work really well you need still need paper products right so it's not rocketing is not good uh the the but it works for him obviously he says it does so well he says he's less uncomfortable afterwards which i would argue for me it's at least the same uncomfortable just let yourself be uncomfortable for a little

while until you can find a piece of paper you can never be a monk you disgusting guy well i mean we all have our stuff i like how he doesn't think it's disgusting it's not like he's doing it not thinking about it what i probably was until his girlfriend was like you pig yeah maybe that would be bad yeah that's yeah this woman is totally civilizing this animal, dude. This guy's got a fucking wartime helmet on and no shirt. He's talking about

giving snot rockets. He put on the helmet to be funny. We don't know that. That'd be great if he didn't, if he just wears that and snot rockets all over the place.

Absolutely madman. No, I like this guy. In all honesty, I do. But this is gross what we're talking about here. Be an adult. Don't snot rock it. And do everything you can to not wipe your snot on your sock.

And frankly, everyone knows what I just said. That is over the age of 13. Pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, we could do another one.

Oh, wow. You know know that part chris mad big fan of you guys chris i'm gonna uh see when you come to australia pretty keen for that one chris but um check this out i need your advice on this july hell yeah probably 23 times in my whole life this exact situation has panned out i'm talking to someone and then they lean in with a concerned look on their face and go oh have you been in a fight you've got a black eye oh god oh it's just the way my face looks under certain lighting conditions it might look like i've got a black eye but i've just got bags under my eyes why would you say that it's like saying to a pregnant person huh oh like a person you think is pregnant yeah are you pregnant no

they're just yeah they just couldn't stop eating they're fat yeah don't say that you like what do you what do i do what do i do when they do that i just want to do something so left field all right have you got a black eye? And then I just. Give them one. I don't even. Like start singing or just shit in their face. Don't do that. Singing.

What do I do? Shit in their face, you know? You might find trouble if you shit in their face. No, no, no. Work on your muscle of being able to cry on cue. And then when they ask you, do you have a black eye? Were you in a fight? Just fucking let tears roll out of your eyes and say what and be like i don't want to talk about it

i don't want to talk about it yeah that would be good like longer term thing though because i think what he's looking for is something that makes them right there he didn't look like he had a black eye at all yeah so maybe carry around a fucking light and just have it blowing in your face. Fill in the bottoms. Yeah. Fill light the bottom. Yeah. Always one of those.

Yeah. Those things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What are those called? Those lights that you hold right in front of you.

I know they're fill lights, but they're called some. There's new ones that have a name. Everybody on Instagram uses them. What was that show? Bosom Buddies with what? Ring Light? Yes. Ring Light.

Oh. Bosom Buddies. Bosom Buddies in the beginning when they're tanning and they have the in the in the opening credits yeah yeah you know that yeah okay oh wow all right sounds good i guess sometimes i come up with good stuff and then other things that don't mean anything uh i don't know what the solution is but i can i can uh sympathize with what this guy's saying it's so annoying when you're in the middle of saying something and someone notices something about your face

and then while you're talking, asks about it. It's like, you don't have just like, you gotta wait till I'm done at least. Like, wait your turn, dude. Yeah, wait your turn, for sure. Oh, you're not listening to me at all? And then I'll be like, no, no, I was listening. It's just like, okay, well, if you were, shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up and let me finish shut the fuck up how about how about yeah i have a black eye because i got in a fight with somebody because they interrupted me because they asked if i had a black eye but no that spoke for itself what i said take it for what i said no i don't like the full circle take it full circs to do so i don't like that i do i don't like the full circle okay well we're at odds i do so what are you gonna do about that getting married um okay well i think that uh yeah i think that it's not that i i don't that wouldn't annoy me 23 times in his life dude that's a lot of times once a year adult adult years so twice a year he looked older looks like he's in his 40s maybe no he's not in his 40s that guy looks great though that's crazy he's in his 30s sometimes just plain mustaches don't

look great he looked great in a mustache i'll give him i gotta give him that okay you should see how i look in a mustache you've never had one not once why that's weird yeah you never even played around with one dude played around you're gonna play around with a mustache gay play around with a mustache dude i've played around with me wow i've played around with mine well i played around with some other guy's mustaches okay well that sounds gay that sounds uh very good yeah and that's kind of a cute cute gay the cuter you are when you're gay the gayer you are. That's what that is. Oh, okay. It's extra gay

if you're cute and gay. I don't know. I don't know if that's true. Like if you like twirl a man's mustache. Yeah. That's gayer than having sex with him.

Okay. I don't think so. And I think we can wrap things up on that, don't you? Okay, that's fine, yeah. We'll see you at the Lifeline Live show

in Irvine and go to our Patreon. We're going to do one right now. Patreon.com slash Lifeline Luxury and that's where the Lifeline Live will be on anyway. It is where it's at, everybody. in irvine and uh go to our patreon we're gonna do one right now patreon.com lifeline luxury and that's where the lifeline luxury the lifeline live will be on uh anyway it is where it's at everybody okay it is where it's at we're doing three a month instead of two we are we really doing three months

instead of two yeah i thought sometimes just the two no i'm doing three three minimum really oh yeah oh so drunk all right thanks guys